Small Potatoes

So anyway, here we go.

Wait, you're listening to Radio Lab from WNYC.

I got my potato.

And I'm looking at it and I'm holding it.

Maybe it should hold potatoes more.

It's, you know, it's a potato.

It's washed.

I think it's a yellow potato.

It's washed.

It's not dirty.

It's a little dirty.

It's kind of baffling to actually think about a potato.

This could...

Yeah, what do you say about a potato?

Awesome.

Four, six, even seven.

Hey, I'm Latif Nasser.

And I'm Lulu Miller.

And this is Radio Lab.

And today's episode is sort of a gauntlet thrown by our friend, our collaborator, our contributing editor.

Okay, guys.

Heather Radke.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So I'm just going to tell you guys, this is some kind of experiment.

It could be a failure.

And then we just end and go have a lunch, okay?

I love it.

It's not worth doing if there's not a potential for failure.

Well, I appreciate that, you two.

But in any case...

Hi, I'm in my pajamas.

The person who's maybe like the embodiment of this experiment is this woman named Claire Dolan.

I'm just staring because I don't know how to make coffee.

Oh, here.

So Claire is an ICU nurse up in like super rural Vermont.

How was your shift?

My shift was busy and long.

So we sent this really great producer named Erica Heilman, who lives near Claire, to go and talk to her.

Okay.

Because right on Claire's property...

Oh, it's beautiful now.

What?

There's this place that ever since I first heard about it, I've been kind of obsessed with it.

Can you grab that?

It's this big old barn.

This is a shitty-ass barn that was thrown up in the 1970s or 80s.

It's got this old tin roof.

Peeling paint and falling off clabbards and boards.

But inside...

Here we are at the entrance to the permanent collection.

Hanging on these pristine white walls, under glass, on top of pedestals, are...

Matchboxes.

These ordinary...

A pinwheel.

Tiny, tiny bells.

Banal.

Dust and lint.

I would say it's more lint than dust.

Everyday things.

Many pulleys arranged together in a block and tackle.

Keys.

An old thread spool.

Paperclips.

Grocery cart.

All a part of what Claire calls...

The museum of everyday life.

Wagon wheels.

Wheelbarrow.

But is it really a museum?

Yeah, it's like a real museum.

She's got a permanent collection, and she's got rotating exhibits that change every year.

And then she just puts a ton of thought into these things.

Like, for example...

The elegance of these furniture legs.

She uses this translucent gallery wire to hang furniture legs so that they look almost...

Kind of creepily human.

Like they're showing off their legs and waiting for someone to notice.

Or she'll light something.

These are gerbil wheels.

Hamster wheels.

Hamster wheels.

Yeah.

In such a way that it just grabs your eye.

It's exhibit magic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And hundreds of people come every year to see this museum in a barn.

And I know people who drive up from New York City like seven hours, and they leave their homes full of just ordinary objects to drive up to rural Vermont to see a barn full of everyday objects.

Why would people do that?

Why would they leave their house full of paperclips to have to drive hours to go see a barn full of paperclips?

I mean, it's a reasonable question.

But I think it's because through her displays, she has these wall labels full of beautiful text that describes the history of an object or tells the story of a really specific object or an anecdote about the object.

And she's able to show you that there's just more to that thing than you would think.

But, like, how does she do that with a bell or a box of matches?

Well, she kind of did it while we were sitting in the studio together.

She just pointed at this cup, this little paper cup that we were both drinking out of.

Like, if you think of the cup, right?

It's an object that is made for the human hand.

It echoes the shape of how your hand wants to curve around.

And it has this incredible affordance of ministering to your thirst, right?

Like, you're able to drink things because you have a cup.

But it also has this elegant form, right?

Like the interplay of positive and negative space.

And then, you know, you think, okay, drinking out of a cup, how consequential is that?

But, you know, I work in an intensive care unit in this little regional hospital in Vermont.

And, you know, I can't tell you, like, for someone who swallowing has been impossible or not allowed, you know,

to finally, like, the moment that they can grip a cup and take a drink is a profound experience and, like, a really important moment.

Right, even though it's someone just sipping from a boring paper cup.

Yeah, it's a dumb little cup.

All right, so I wanted to start with Claire because she kind of hits on this thing that I've just been kind of obsessed about for, I don't know, like, maybe the last couple of years even.

It kind of started at the beginning of the pandemic where I would call this friend of mine up and I would leave her these voice messages or I'd talk to her on the phone and I'd just be like,

oh my God, I bought the wrong light bulbs and they're so fluorescent and I just wish I had those ones that are so nice and warm.

Or I would just be like, I just can't believe I have to do the dishes again.

But then also, you know, like this maybe more delightful version of the same thing, like the little curl on the back of my daughter's hair that's only going to be there for two weeks before it kind of turns into something else.

Riveting, riveting stuff, Radki.

And of course it was not riveting, especially considering what was actually happening in the world, which was that there was this, like, massive pandemic and tons of people were sick and dying.

And so when I talked to her about those things, I had this kind of bit of shame about it because they're so fundamentally small.

In proportion to the world on fire.

In proportion to the world.

Yeah.

I would always say sort of guiltily, these are such small potatoes.

But at the same time, you know, if you really think about it, most of our lives are actually just made up of these, you know, these small potatoes, like going to the dry cleaner or eating a ham sandwich or whatever.

And I think that there's something kind of important about just how massive a part of these, our lives, these things are.

Hmm.

And so taking a cue from Claire, I want to do a whole show about ordinary, everyday things that make up so much of our lives.

This sounds like a terrible idea.

This sounds like the most boring episode.

No, it's not going to be boring or it's not.

The goal isn't to be boring.

It's that.

So it'll just incidentally be boring?

No, it's not.

It's not going to be boring at all.

I think it's, it's, it's sort of a challenge because the truth is that you guys are kind of obsessed with big stories, you know, submarines and death and wars and Arctic seals or whatever.

And I guess I want to see what happens, what we're missing, really, when we only look at these kind of big grandstand, you know, like marquee parts of the world.

I feel like you're asking us to commit a cardinal sin.

Like it's like literally every story finding storytelling impulse we have is to go big, big, big.

Yeah, but what's more fun than committing a sin?

So I have a series of stories for you today about people wrestling with the routine, the ordinary, the seemingly boring stuff of life and finding out what you can see when you look hard at something that we just generally overlook.

Including.

It's nice to have potatoes.

A man who's been asked to just look at a potato.

In terms of what it actually looks like, you don't really often think of what a potato looks like.

Without knowing why.

Oh God.

Okay, we are really leaning into the premise.

All right, so I'm glad you guys are all the way in and super excited about this.

I wouldn't go that far, but all right, we're here, we're here, we're continuing to be here.

Yeah.

All right.

So, again, kind of inspired by Claire, I thought we could kind of go through this like we're in a museum.

So it's like a set of exhibits, or maybe, if you please, a platter of small potatoes.

Okay.

And I thought I would have you kind of read each title of each piece like it's the, you know, like a...

Placard?

The wall text.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Lily, you want to do it?

Yep, sure.

Exhibit one.

First early potato.

Ashin Lenon, Alexandrine Poussin, Artichaut Jaune, Aspasie.

The light at the end of the tube.

Okay, so this one comes from our producer, Matt Kilty.

So, let's go.

All right.

We begin at sunrise.

Okay.

Sunrise.

Matt, I know when you wake up, it's not sunrise.

Okay, fine.

Mid-morning.

How about?

We're up.

I spend way too much time looking at Twitter on my phone.

In bed.

In bed.

But eventually get up, open the blinds.

Whisk away the shades.

Throw them open.

Oh, yeah.

And the day begins.

Go make coffee.

Love that part of the morning.

The best.

And...

All right, and are you in your, like, pajamas?

Eh, depends.

But okay.

Make some oatmeal.

Do a little bit of reading.

Go to the bathroom.

Open the tiny little medicine cabinet.

And...

Matthew.

We have a problem.

Staring me in the face.

Look at the tube, Matthew.

Is...

Look at it.

Okay, so we got...

A...

An extremely flat...

Shriveled...

Flaccid...

Crinkled...

Tube of toothpaste.

And it's just like...

Okay.

Crud.

Here we are again.

Again?

Yeah, yeah.

It's the moment that we all have to face where the toothpaste tube is out of toothpaste.

Yeah, and that's a real bummer because it feels great to brush your teeth.

It does feel nice to brush your teeth.

And also we all need to because we're humans living in society.

It's an essential part of American life.

But...

So, okay, so this is the thing that I wanted to explore with you today.

Which is...

That moment, that small potato of when...

You are holding an empty tube of toothpaste because...

It looks empty.

But is it empty?

That is the question, Heather.

Because even though it looks like you might not have any toothpaste...

I think we all know...

There's some toothpaste in there.

And thus begins...

A journey.

Day one.

What will we do?

Okay, so you got your empty tube.

And unless you're one of those people who's like stocked up with toothpaste...

And the moment something gets a little bit challenging in your life...

God forbid there's a little bit of a hurdle in front of you...

You just throw away your toothpaste.

For the rest of us...

At least those of us who aren't using those stupid little clips...

With our toothpaste tubes.

For the rest of us...

Opportunity knocks.

Go ahead.

Open the door.

I'm gonna get it.

I'm gonna get that toothpaste.

Oh, God.

So you start pushing...

Pushing forward.

Okay, here we go.

With your fingers, wherever you can.

Pushing towards the top.

I've gotta start rolling it from the bottom here.

You roll the toothpaste.

Tiny, tight turns.

I use the...

You don't use the counter as part of this?

No, just these hands.

But after like a couple minutes...

Oh, God.

You do get to the point where...

There we go.

You've done all you can do.

I'm gonna put my thumb right near the cap.

I'm gonna push.

And then...

Oh, yeah.

All of a sudden...

You can see there's this big gush of toothpaste.

No problem.

And it is one of life's little tiny joys.

A little delight.

Right, because you're kind of getting something from nothing.

Yeah, it's like water from a stone.

Which...

This is the thing.

I don't think people realize this.

Is once you've taken that step...

You can actually go so much further.

Like to the grocery store to buy a new tube of toothpaste.

Shut up, Heather.

No.

You can get to...

I don't even know if I know how to actually describe it exactly.

But have you seen...

Have you ever seen that episode of Seinfeld?

It looks like we're gonna need some gas.

Oh.

Where Kramer's test driving a car and he's in the car with the salesperson.

How much gas do you think is in there right now?

Well, it's on E.

They're running out of gas, which in and of itself is like a total small potato.

They decide they're gonna see how long they can go on empty.

Oh, I've never felt so alive!

Basically, they're gonna try and glimpse at what empty truly means.

And so, what I am proposing to you, Heather,

is to join me on this near-empty tube of toothpaste

and to see what's on the other side.

But don't we know what's on the other side of empty?

You might think you do, but until you actually make that trip...

Yeah, you're right. All right. I guess.

You have no idea.

I feel like...

And so...

Day two.

Aren't we a happy little boy?

Get back on top, baby!

Plenty of paste.

You gotta be a little frugal.

Oh, God. That's too much.

But mostly...

Day three.

It's a thrill a minute.

Day four.

Oh, my God. There's so much toothpaste.

Day five.

Day six.

Brush it away.

Seven.

Oh, yeah.

Eight.

Pop it open.

Day nine.

This is gonna be...

We're getting low.

Come on!

This is where I quit.

For what it's worth.

Like you've already gotten a new tube?

By this point, I've bought a new toothpaste.

Yeah, but you don't have to buy a new tube.

But my question is why haven't you?

Because it's obviously...

It's because I forget.

I just... I forget.

I don't remember...

I don't think about brushing my teeth until I have to brush my teeth.

But probably in part because you're not...

There's still toothpaste there.

And sure, it's getting harder.

It's getting tougher to get the toothpaste out.

This is where you separate the boys from the men.

This is where you actually cross the threshold.

This is where you enter into a new realm of empty.

What's on the other side of the...

The dividing line of what you thought was empty and this new empty?

Yeah.

Well...

Day ten.

Fuck.

There is greater pain.

There's also...

Day eleven.

Oh my god, I love it.

Greater pleasure.

Okay.

The twelfth day.

The thirteenth.

If I can just get the tooth...

There's ingenuity.

Get the bristles into the nozzle.

Craftiness, cleverness.

The mastery of tools, Heather, is what lies beyond.

Day fourteen.

Confronting the toothpaste again.

It turns into kind of a nightmare.

And then eventually...

Day fifteen.

Well, eventually you run out of...

Eventually there's nothing left.

Yeah.

And for me, that is when...

I take the toothpaste tube.

And I take a pair of scissors.

And I cut the tube open.

Open it up.

Take the toothbrush.

Open up.

And then you can put your brush into the inside of the tube.

And you can kind of scrape up whatever little tiny bit of toothpaste is still kind of caked on the walls.

Okay.

It's like you've eaten the chicken and now you're sucking on the bones.

Yeah, you're like pulling out the marrow.

And...

Yeah.

That's it.

And does that...

How does that...

I mean, having never experienced it myself, is that a moment of satisfaction?

Or is it a little bit of a letdown?

It's like...

It's a little embarrassing.

Why?

Because I...

Mostly just can't remember to buy toothpaste.

Because I'm a child.

But I don't know.

It's also like...

It feels like...

An honorary death.

The tube is finished.

It has been...

Fully sacrificed.

And that's it.

But remember...

My sweet child...

With death...

Comes life.

Your kind review?

Thanks so much.

Day 16.

I go to the store.

Are you like a cinnamon guy?

I prefer the mints.

Winter mint?

Peppermint?

Yeah, Spearmint.

And then you come home.

Yeah, and I do always love the packaging.

I love the box.

The rectangular long box.

That's very satisfying.

Popping it open.

And then...

Oh, yeah.

Getting to hold a big, fat tube of toothpaste.

You grab your brush.

You got your new tube.

Okay.

It's nice and plump.

Yeah, like a fat little pillow.

Oh.

But wait.

Given everything that happened...

Is there any part of you that feels compelled to sort of...

Ration it out?

To only take a little?

Oh, God, no.

The bouncy is there.

Exactly.

But I do feel like underneath all of it...

Is...

This sadness.

Hmm.

Well, what's sad about it?

Well, it's just like...

It's like the routine of it all.

Of where...

Where you're, like, caught in this weird dance with a tube of toothpaste...

That's a part of a routine of brushing your teeth.

That's, like, one of the many other routines that make up your daily life.

That feel like you have no choice in them.

They just exist.

And, I don't know, you feel like...

You feel like Sisyphus or something with the boulder.

Just pushing the boulder.

Over and over and over again.

And the fact that that's what so much...

I think...

I feel like so much of your life is that.

That's what feels...

So sad.

Right, right.

It's like...

You could measure your life in empty tubes of toothpaste.

Or...

Piles of dust that you swept up.

And that feels like...

Not a very satisfying way to measure a life.

Yeah.

Push the boulder.

Squeeze the tube.

Push the boulder.

Squeeze the tube.

Push the boulder.

And what do you say about a potato?

Alright, so this is Jim McEwan.

The brother of our producer Annie McEwan.

And this is day five.

With his potato.