Warren | Chapter 1

But Warren didn't always show up and when he did, he was very late. this I remember. This is me right after I was born. It's just like in the hospital. Yeah.

back then. my mom, Roberta, married Warren in 1973. I Arrived five years later and by the time I was a year and a half. They were split divorced.

There's Dozens of pictures. No, there's no, at least in this batch. There's no pictures of Warren. I don't think. get rid of them.

Mm-hmm. You just threw them out. Mm-hmm. Sorry. I don't know when I was.

What happened?

Said that's it. It's no, no support. I had no love for him and

I did not know. I Was busy trying to raise a baby and I did not know about other things that were going on. I kind of understood, kind of thought of a little bit, but I.

You from Waveland and Rococo punch, this is inconceivable truth, I'm Matt Katz.

Episode 1 Warren.

My name has always been Matt or Matthew, as my mom called me, But my last name has not always been Katz, and the reason why is all wrapped up in what happened shortly after Warren and Roberta divorced. It's the early 80s Queens, and Roberta is a single mom. It's just me and her. So she joins this group for single people with kids, parents without partners. The group was for parents to meet partners, But she says she didn't really go for herself.

She thought it'd be good for me to at least be around men, dads. She lost her own father when she was six, has no memory of him.

I.

a new person comes in and then she turns on her heels and walks away. It just didn't look right.

There was no one that I would want to spend my life with, and we both. we had a sort of an agreement that, At our age, two years of dating, two years is enough time to date, And I made sure, before two years came that I said, would you marry me?

We were at the house at your apartment in Queens, and.

We're having dinner and I had to go home and

my very, very Romantic.

Proposal was darn it. I can't go home. I want to be with you. I don't want to leave. Would you marry me?

very, very romantic?

And she said I have to think about it.

Thankfully She said yes and The rest is history.

How do you say?

I'm moving in. I'm gonna be with you as you grow up. How do you ask you? Because I know a lot of children.

Resent the spouse of the parent they're living with and.

I didn't want that, and I was at that point that was already showing you a lot of love. So I asked you and you, I think the look on your face is what is he talking about?

I Think you, you you basically asked me permission. Is it? Okay, if I marry your mom and become part of your family, and?

It's such a menschie thing to do.

She was in New York City public school teacher, teaching kids how to read for more than 30 years. So I had a stepfather. now Richard threw a baseball with me, taught me how to ride a bike, told me he loved me. But I also had Warren, my birth father, still fading out and then into that picture.

When he did come by and take me out for the day. we do things that even I knew I'm like five. We're not normal. We'd sometimes go to the off-track betting parlor so we could wager on the horses. I'm standing in a pile of betting slips up to my ankles, a cloud of cigarette smoke hovering over me.

One time he took me to a zoo in Queens, a little place more of a petting zoo than anything else. Instead of going to the entrance. He led me off to the side. He lifted the bottom of the fence. He told me to crawl under, and so I did.

he then went to the front, paid admission for himself and met me inside.

He saved a couple of bucks, I guess.

Outside of those experiences, which felt pretty off. my childhood seemed normal. I loved the Mets matchbox cars, swings that didn't move all that fast. I had a blonde mop-top, Hazel eyes, skinny and smiley, and I was probably the shyest little boy in Queens.

That shy kid who bravely waddled into the candy store to grab my mom's newspaper Was also holding on to an inner thought of sorts. I Didn't talk about this with anyone, but I remember sort of Obsessing over Warren, like what was his deal? Why was he such a dick?

But those questions about who my father was, Turns out I wasn't asking the right thing at all. I mean 20 years. I've now worked as a reporter, Newspapers radio out there, pen and pad recorder the whole thing asking people, questions. Joining us now is Matt Katz. Matt Katz, and thank you again for being here.

public safety reporter Matt Katz. Hey, Matt, Hey, good morning, Michael. I've asked questions to politicians and police chiefs. I once asked questions to nudists at a nudist colony in New Jersey. Turned into a front-page story During the u.s.

War in Afghanistan. I embedded with the military to ask questions about what in the world was happening over there.

My question, first and foremost, what's the truth about my father?

When I was born, we all lived in the Bronx. Warren had a variety of jobs, from toll collector to cab driver. His most steady work seemed to be as a funeral director teacher. He taught a class for people who were trying to get their funeral director licenses. I saw him even at a young age as Interesting, maybe because his lack of consistent presence made him mysterious.

He was tall, or he seemed tall to me Bald, with a potbelly and a dark goatee. He talked to me about sports, took me to the good chocolate chip cookie shop in Manhattan. The one and only time I went to his apartment, There were dirty dishes in the sink, something that didn't happen in the house. I grew up in. Dishes in my father's sink seemed reckless, but maybe kind of cool.

He seemed to have access to a world very different from my own. that seemed darker, more intriguing. He had this diner that he'd go to. They'd open up early for him and the other regulars, so they could all sit there and chain, smoke and read the New York Post. He was there every morning.

Meanwhile, though. I didn't even have his phone number. After a visit, I never knew when I'd see him again.

Truthfulness.

See if I could find him. It was frustrating. I started to be like fuck this. I asked my mom if I could change my last name From Warren's last name to cats, which was Richard and my mom's new last name. I had no siblings with Warren's last name.

No close relatives. I wanted to be a cats.

December 15th 1985 I changed my last name. Do you remember how that came about?

Lonely and awkward. Yeah, but when Warren called, I still called him daddy. Maybe I thought changing my last name would scare him straight, force him to play that father role. But it didn't did the opposite. he was pissed about the name change and he told me so.

He drove over one day in his red station wagon. I.

I.

he owed her. And so one night he called when my mom and Richard were out. My grandmother gam lived with us and was hanging out downstairs watching her stories. I Answered the phone. It was him.

I was eight. I think and I was upset. Why hadn't he called? Why didn't I have his phone number? Where was he?

Who was he? I Told him and I remember this so well that I was going to sick the FBI on him. I don't know. It was the 80s. me and my friends used to play a spy game called KGB versus FBI, and I wanted him investigated, Not for a crime, but so I can understand why he was the way he was.

Warren hung up on me. He didn't call again.

When I was nine years old, with months and months of no contact whatsoever from Warren. I remember my mom saying to me if something happened to her, if she died, Then I'd end up moving in with Warren, my biological father, instead of Richard, my stepdad. Warren would have custody. He'd be responsible for me. He'd be my only parent.

She told me this guy you don't even know where he lives, what his phone number is. He'd be responsible for taking care of you.

There was a solution, though, she told me if Richard adopts you, he would take care of you. he'd be with you always I.

He didn't earn, Having you as his son. I did. I Worked at earning that because you were worth it, and I wanted that.

So the judge signed off on the adoption. a new birth certificate was issued. Gone was Warren, Richard Katz was Matthew Katz, his father?

And So I gained a father, but also grandparents, Richards parents, Nathaniel and Ethel Katz, and An aunt and uncle, and my first first cousins. and the best part. I got siblings, which, as an only child, I'd always wanted. Richard had two daughters from his first marriage, Sarah Sally. They were 8 and 12 years older than me, already off to college.

We didn't live together, but I still saw them as my sisters.

I.

Couple of years later, in 1990.

. We left Queens and moved a mile and a half but a world away from Queens, a borough of New York City, to Great Neck, one of the most affluent towns in the country, a Quintessential Long Island suburb. I still pronounce it with two syllables, Long Island. Do you remember? when did we start hanging out?

his name was Ilan. I remember being very excited because you were smaller than me.

You were into music, you. I mean, this is appropriate time to talk about Billy Joel. You could see Billy Joel from your window. I could. so basically, you had a Cardboard cutout of Billy Joel.

I think it took from like a CD store. Yeah, it was a life-size and it was meant to, I think, hold albums on it. Like, you know, they had whatever the latest Billy Joel album. you would stack it on there. That's what is used for in the store.

Somehow, you got it to your house, which also was cool. Like, how did you do that? My mom, like, what are you talking about? We're not bringing that junk to our house. There's no way that would have been in my mother's car and then onto my room, but somehow you got that to your house, yeah, and It was in your window and it was constantly staring at me, Which is creepy, because I don't know if you were looking at me or it was Billy Joel, right?

Yeah, we used to talk on walkie-talkies. Do you remember that we used to flash our lights? Yes, I would sing our rooms faced each other on the street. So I would, if I wanted to talk to you, I'd flash my lights, but I would have to have been looking at the window. Yeah, but I always thought you were looking at me because there's Billy Joe, something.

Oh, there's Matt. Let's, He's not answering, you know, and the return on the walkie-talkie, which was a little ridiculous because we also had phones.

Safer.

Think they Supported it, but maybe didn't understand why I needed to go and find this deadbeat.

Who's my father? I mean clearly Richards, your father. I mean he, basically, you know, helped raise you, but who's your? who are you? Yeah, and that's for a lot of people.

They know who they are when they're from their kids. You know, like I knew, who I was. My dad was my dad. My mom was my mom. I grew up in Great Neck.

I'm gonna be a doctor. I was a doctor. Okay, that's who I am, you. You're constantly like a chameleon. you're always changing who's who's my father?

that that who's my father for you changed Basically every decade for you. Yeah, you never really knew who your father was, right?

I made friends quickly in Great Neck. This was pre-internet, So when I wasn't on the walkie-talkie with the lawn, I was on the phone talking with friends, friends like Kelly.

Serious shit to me. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. I remember feeling being like heavy Yeah, because I didn't know what the fuck to say. You're the trusted guy for girls to talk to. Yeah, There were like friendships that I had with these girls in high school that were, you know, deep and like Meaningful.

Yeah, And probably, I guess I don't life-changing. I mean life-forming like they. yeah, you know.

But, like you, were just like fun-loving and and light, which is interesting because you had a lot of stuff. you know, yeah, family and and that kind of thing, but I Just remember you like smiling a lot and just being happy.

you know fathers and sons, obviously. So my mom was sitting there on the couch and she was listening and reading a paper or something, and I asked her Do you ever wonder where Warren is my birth father? She's like I do. She's like I have his brother's phone number in California. if you wanted to you know, try to reach him through your, through his brother.

so I Remember it was a few weeks after that. I went to junior prom, Came home from the gym prom and I called the number because it was like three hours earlier. Yeah, and it was disconnected. and then I called four, one one like the operator, old-school, you know. Yeah, they gave me the phone number and a woman answered.

Turned out, she was my new aunt. They had intervening years married, and she Seemed confused that I had no contact with My birth father because he had been telling his family That he was in contact with me and that my mom wouldn't let me see the rest of the family. But no, I was into math, which was bullshit. I wanted to go to the University of Michigan like he made up all this nonsense.

Later that night after midnight on the East Coast, my uncle Mitch called me. He was really nice, but there was this disconnect. He didn't seem to understand what I was saying, that I had not seen Warren since I was eight years old. Warren had been telling his family all of these fabricated stories about me in my life. I tried to tell Mitch Warren doesn't know anything about me because I haven't spoken to him since I was a little boy.

Mitch said well, we haven't seen you because your mom hasn't let us. I'm like. I don't even have Warren's phone number and that's why I'm calling. Can I have his number? Sorry, Mitch said I can't do that, but I can ask him to call.

you Won't give me his phone number. Why all the secrecy? Why all the hiding? I'm his son. Can I have my father's phone number?

But I didn't have a choice. if I wanted to get in touch with Warren, I had to do it his way. so Gave him my phone number And I had my own line, my own answer machine. Mm-hmm.

so I Feel like there might have been a couple of like hang-ups on the answer machine over the next couple of days when I wasn't home and I was like, is that him? and Then I picked up one day and this man on the other side of the line says It's Warren. What do you want?

and I had a very terrible first conversation with him. Like I, I remember immediately after it, not even remembering everything that happened. I know he talked shit about my grandmother, my mom's mom, who I was close with before she died.

and I know he was like obnoxious and Skeptical about what I wanted and he owed my mom so much money in child support that he, I'm sure he that was wrapped up in his reaction, But It was. it was terrible and I must have then talked to you about it, because he kept calling and Eventually we started talking about lighter things like, specifically like baseball, and.

We could have like a normal conversation and then We made a plan to meet. mm-hmm Turned out. Warren lived in Queens. not even a 15-minute drive away from my house. We decided to meet at a Bennegan's restaurant.

He told me what he'd be wearing so I could recognize him. It was the spring of 1994. I Didn't have my driver's license yet, But Kelly did, and I most definitely didn't want my mom to drive me to see him. I mean too awkward. So Kelly drove me over.

did you wait in the car you must have, because we didn't have cell phones. You, you. it's amazing. You would have waited in the car. It's like amazing.

You did that. Well, Thank you.

It's so sweet. Yeah, but you were like my. we were really close. Yeah, you know, and this was a big deal. This wasn't like some little thing.

I mean, I remember walking up and he was there. who's smoking him Arbor light 100, and he was wearing a members-only jacket.

And I know we didn't hug. Mm-hmm. I think.

It's possible. we shook hands, but I actually think I remember being strange because we kind of Said hello, and then he turned and started walking to the door, and then we walked into the restaurant, Like I don't know if there was any Physical Contact when we first saw each other. maybe a handshake, But no hug, isn't that weird? Can you imagine not seeing your child for eight years and not hugging them? I mean?

And then I think he gave me a little money and then I felt some degree of like Closure and completion afterwards, which is probably why that's what I saw from you was was that

Yeah, yeah, That was probably what was on my face when I'm walking back to the car. Yeah, like a million pounds of.

Had a pretty good Trip, as I remember it, and then I would see him. Occasionally, I had his phone number. He would call me. We had a regular phone interaction. he visited me in College once I was living in a fraternity house.

It was like the morning after a You know party and I remember not having to worry about the crushed nighty light cans all over the place because it was like a Judgment free situation with him. Yes. The the bar was so Low in terms of how he was a father that I never. In a way, it was a lot less pressure. Yeah, hanging out with him than my parents, who I wanted to Live up to the standard they held for me.

Yeah, because they were actual, like parents. Yes, and we went to brunch and I bumped a cigarette from him and.

Then, on the way back, He bought me a pack.

and and then he says to me do you ever wonder why all of your negative qualities you seem to get for me and I'm like? I do wonder that actually, because he was unlike my Mother and Richard. He had an edge about him. He lived off the grid. He was shady.

He Had a way with like strangers like. he'd be the guy like sitting next to on a bus stop, who could like chat you up And you'd be like charmed, but also like he. you know, he was somebody who he was like a bad boy. He was like, yeah, he's like a bad boy. And so obviously at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, I like, related, you know, I connected with that.

There was still plenty of shady shit. if I met him at a restaurant, I might give him a ride home afterward, But he'd have me drop him off at the end of his block. So I wouldn't know his address.

Things would eventually sour again badly. He would once again fade out of the picture And I'd be left wondering about him, wondering about his family and who they were and who he was.

I Felt like I still didn't really know anything about my father. What was the truth about Warren? What are the secrets? I can't access? My whole life, my head swirled with questions and once I started Investigating, I learned turns out.

there is something there. There is a reason things don't add up. There is something about my past that I never knew. The answers would turn out to be way weirder, more interesting and more personally intense Than anything I've ever investigated before.

Coming up on this season of inconceivable truth.

Our executive producers are Jason Hoke at Waveland and John Perotti and Jessica Alpert at Rococo punch. For photos and more details in the series, follow at Waveland media on Instagram, X or Facebook, and you can reach out via email at podcasts at Waveland dot media, that's Waveland w-a-v-l-a-n-d. If you like this series, please leave us a review and don't forget to tell a friend or relative. I'm Matt Katz. Thanks for listening.

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