Coach Mike Vrabel, Comedian Gary Vider Growing Up With A Scam Artist Dad + We Introduce Our New Intern

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Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. On today's part of my take, we have a packed packed show. Our good friend, coach Mike Vrabel on the show.

Awesome interview with Coach Vrabes Large and intimidating, yes. We also have a very interesting interview with comedian Gary Veder, who has a new podcast out that everyone should go listen to. Called Number One. Dad basically talking about his childhood, living with a father who was a scam artist, and he had these crazy stories. He snuck into MSG with his dad over 50 times.

Awesome interview with him. We're going to try to do the Mount Rushmore pizza toppings for real this time. It's our third try at this, We tried it last year, we tried to run it back and give Hank a shot at redemption.

Hank threw it right off the top, taking spinach in the first round, but I think Hank's really turned around, his attitude's much better. I was watching the old clip and Hank used to be just in a sour mood all the time, yeah.

Didn't want to talk, didn't want to participate. All he did was complain that we ruined Mount Rushmore season, but now it's the summer of Hank. We've got a new boy and he's chipper as hell, different guy.

This is going to be great, different guy. And then we also have the introduction of our intern, so we're going to, there's an extra person in here, our new intern, who we all are fond of.

He's been in the office for a couple days now, but we've kept him a secret because we wanted the awl to see him first. So we'll finish then with Fyre Fest. But we have an awesome show, it's brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. It's finally here.

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Today is Friday, July 19th, and my co-host looks like a poodle. I got the perm baby. yes, got the perm finally. Now. I've wanted to pay this bet off for a long time.

I was originally supposed to pay it off when I got the tattoo. Memes Didn't book the appointment correctly. Not to throw memes under the bus. Don't point fingers, but if I were to point a finger, it'd be directly at memes.

But I'm not going to yep. I tried to reschedule it a couple times, things popped up with travel, finally got it done.

Today, I was the first male Perm popped up, what?

Popped up, Yeah, things popped up with travel. Are we starting off with a negative attitude? I'm just curious, I'm just curious.

Things popped up with travel. I actually was going to do it the day before Beer Olympics, but when we got kicked out, I scheduled it, then we kicked ourselves back in, yeah.

Had to reschedule. You didn't know Super Bowl week was happening, didn't know Super Bowl week, they blindsided me, Final four also blindsided.

Yep, I was the guy's first perm. oh so a guy in that salon had never done a perm on a guy before. Wait, was it his first perm or a first? ...?

It was his first perm, first same-sex perm, first same-sex perm, first same-sex perm. We're doing it now.

Perm is Perm. Yep, in 2024, you look good, thank you.

Shout out to the people at Salon Sen. Nice Sen Salon up north in Boys Town. love it. Great place to get a perm.

It does smell, though, the stuff that they put in your hair, yeah, they don't tell you about that. they really stink it up for a while.

Yeah, let me be honest, it looks like you just jumped in the ocean. Yeah, I mean, I've got curly hair anyway.

So this is.

I told them to use the tightest, smallest rods they could find. How long does it last? I think, until I like, wash it out, so it's about tough.

Yeah, no, I'm not going to wash it out. I can see why you put it off for so long. No, I didn't put it off. Hank If you're wondering why Hank might be in a bad mood, it's because we're doing an outrush. More of pizza toppings today for the third time.

We've done it twice, the famous first time we threw it well, we didn't throw it, we were just trying to help our boy.

Second time, Hank threw it, third time. We're going to do it for real, for real. yeah, real, for real.

Okay, so you got your perm? I kind of like it. Yeah, it looks good.

I'll tell you what. Cruising the El Camino with a perm hanging out. Yeah, that's a good look. You're basically a time traveler. I'm pretty much from 1970..

I'm living dazed and confused. Yeah, so we have a couple of sports things to get to before we get to Mount Rushmore, but the other thing we have to get to. There's another person here and we have our intern.

And his name is Matt, or Matthew. Matthew. I'd prefer Matthew. Okay, great, okay.

Why would you prefer Matthew? I think I'm a little too fat for Matt. Okay, I think, you know Matt's, you know, last six months, they've probably gotten laid, yeah, right.

And you have not. Hey, you said it okay, you lose a couple pounds, then you lose the letters, yeah.

Then you'll just be Matha, but then what's the point? Yeah, yeah. So when you came in for the interview, we instantly fell in love with you.

I'm a little disappointed that you're not wearing the suit again because the suit that you wore was a good look. Yeah, it was a good look. I got it. I mean, I can bring it any day.

Okay, so you got your one suit, yeah?

Matthew, we'll get your backstory real quick in a second, and we also gave you a task. Matthew blew us away. He came in the wettest handshake of all time, which, by the way, I don't know if you guys shook his hand. On Wednesday's first day, I did, yeah.

Still wet, still wet, always damp, still wet, still wet.

He's our moist little boy, see? He had an upper lip that was just wet as could be, and then he sat down and we started talking. He is NBA hole on Twitter with a w.

With a W. And we were asking about it. And he said that he had an NBA podcast called NBA Hole. But he then decided he was going to equal time here, we're going to add the women, so he became NBA hole with a W.

And then we asked if we could listen to his podcast. And we're like, Hey, how many episodes have you done? and he's like, I've been doing it for a couple of years, I got over 200 episodes. Like, Great.

We'll listen to it, he said. Well, I accidentally deleted over 200 of my episodes, so that right there was basically like, we need this guy, yeah, we need you, we need you.

That seems like the kind of guy that would fit in real well around here. Yeah, and then I think he also had a Did you have another podcast? Yeah, that also accidentally fell in the same category of waste. Okay, that one.

But yeah, that one was more of like, a just a whatever, you know, whatever floated my boat type of podcast. Okay, what does float your boat? you know, just whatever I'm in the mood for. I'm a big, you know, sports scene.

Those are my hobbies, gambling, obviously, big horror movie fans. So I like to get into, you know, weird, you know, thoughts. And you know which killer could kill me quicker, okay?

Okay, you know, type of thing, which guy could I? You know, do I have a shot against? Yeah, who do you have a shot against?

Pennywise, Okay, pennywise, you're ready with that. I've never seen it.

He Well, you never need to, is that it? Yeah, it that scared the fuck out of it.

I saw it way too young as a child, like the first one. Yeah, and I shouldn't have seen that movie. And I saw it and it was the scariest thing ever, all right?

So Matthew, give us a backstory, give us who, where are you from, what are you about? what are you about? what were you doing before this?

Just, you know, yeah, I'm from Detroit, a little bit north of Detroit, more specifically, a small little town called McComb, a high school. We got a lot of cougars out there, cause that's our high school name.

Okay, you know, a couple of hot moms, but you know, a lot more young studs. We're going to win a state title this year. We were like, first place in the state, you know, like, what, a year, two years ago, you're saying it like, we know, we don't know.

Yeah, what sport?

I'm hoping somebody else, we're talking, like the football team, they're going to win state this year in Michigan, that's the goal, that's the goal every year.

I'm going to hold you to that, I'm going to be become very, very. Uh, I'm going to pay a lot of attention to Michigan High School football. Do it. You're going to be in it for a rude awakening.

Well, you don't even know what team he roots for? Yeah, come on, what if he roots for McComb?

You're not gonna, no, I'm a Kalamazoo guy. Well, we have a rival. Yeah, I know, okay.

Who's the rival? Uh, Chippewa, that's my team. Yeah, they went under a name change a couple of years ago.

Yeah, now they're just the football team. Yeah, what happened? I think that the big Reds now.

Okay, that's almost worse. Yeah, that's a that might've been the old name, okay?

They changed it. Um, they won this title in 2019. So we're, uh, you know, we're, we're, we're falling behind them. Okay, so so you, you're from north of of Detroit, Michigan.

Yeah, did you go to college? Not one bit. I took one, uh, one English class once, okay?

Where? uh, at a community college in McComb. Okay, why? why'd you take one class? Well, I just wanted to get tested out, you know, see how I could do in the college life.

You know, just I was working, so just let's add one thing, see if I can manage a class, manage the extra hours. Uh, couldn't.

The extra hour, it was about an hour and a half. So what kind of jobs did you have after high school? Uh, so I've done, you know, lots of odds and ends, uh, a cook prep cook, uh, laborer, uh, non-union. uh, you know. So just done it all good.

Yeah, yeah, I don't don't know what a union looks like. Okay, what does Laborer mean?

That seems like it could be anything exactly picking things up, putting things down, yeah, giving birth.

Yeah, putting some drywall, maybe, you know, I'm, I'm the grunt work, so, you know, up and down the stairs. You know, I was the one carrying everything, so Randy didn't hurt his back type of thing, yeah.

Um, and then, yeah, like, you know, just helping, you know, hold stuff. uh, get this. yeah, you know, nothing skillful that sounds illegal. Well, like, Hey, hold this for me.

No, not hold this bag for me, hold the ladder up so I can install the light. Got it, got it, got it.

That type of hold, okay, um, and yeah, just kind of stuff like that. Just, uh, I wouldn't say anything too skillful, but uh, yeah, we got to get you together with Jerry.

Oh boy, me and Jerry had a night last night. They are very good friends. Okay, yeah.

You remind me a lot of interest, you remind me a lot of Jerry right off the bat. They share a lot of interests. How much money?

A lot of political interests. Yeah, you're not gonna have to loan it, you're gonna have to earn it, okay?

All right, so, uh so the the podcast that you started, NBA hole, Yeah, I kind of want to just call you hole. I've been, I don't know.

I like Matthew for some reason. Hole is good. I think we're just a nickname company, though, like, I need nicknames.

I know, but it's it feels like he's a Matt guy, and then Matthew's almost his nickname, Sir Intern Hole. I think I'm going hole.

Okay with the W? It's so weird. We're just like our guy. I mean, we call memes.

At the at at Tahoe is introducing himself to celebrities like, Hey, what's up Hank? and he goes, Hey, I'm memes, and the people were just like, What memes makes sense?

He's a memes guy, he's, but saying memes to another human being is weird. Saying it's like, it's, but that's the beauty of it. Okay, all right.

Well, we'll work on it. Let's not have a kid named Pug also Matt. Oh, he's a dog. Matt and Max sound a lot alike.

Matthew, That's what I'm saying, Matthew, I like Matthew, but okay, we'll, we'll figure it out.

Let's not, we can't decide right now, let's see how we go. He's going to do something stupid. So you started the podcast. What inspired you to start your own podcast?

I just love sports and I just, you know, I like to a place to kind of go and talk about it. And kind of, uh, having, you know, funnel it down into a place where. I, I mean, I'll be honest, like, I've listened to my own podcast like two to three times, Oh what, that's crazy, I wanted to understand.

So were you listening to your podcast? so you had another podcast to listen to, or were you making your podcast? you had another podcast? I was making it just so I could go back and listen to myself and learn how I like, talk and practice that. So that it was like, you know, cause I can sit there and, you know, hear somebody else talk and talk about, Um, you know, I can sit there, there we go.

I can sit there and hear somebody else talk and and, and you know, do all that. But when it came to myself, I just wanted to, uh, you know, actually understand how, you know my beats, and, uh, you know, my emotions. And you know, at the end of the day, like, you could talk, but then you're not listening back to film, it's all 22, except for you. When you deleted it all, I already listened to it back twice.

So I had all the information. Is there something that you listened back to, that you you changed about how you did the podcast? Like, I just like certain, like in and out of topics, making it like how I would transfer it from one topic to another. Just making sure those transitions were a little bit better understanding, making sure that, like, there was a little bit more of a beginning, middle and end to my points, and not just a point that, you know, didn't know where it was going to fizzle out. So just kind of being a little bit more prepared for those things, not even necessarily writing it down, but just mentally knowing where to take that, okay.

So let's let's show everyone what you can do. So, uh, why don't you tell us your order of teams, like your, your fandom order of teams? Uh, you can do college as well and then transition into. The first thing we asked you to do, which was we want the top 10 current basketball players in the world, so that's NBA and WNBA combined. All right, all right.

Well, first off, I guess I'll, I'll give you my rundown of my team. Uh, first off. As you can see, I'm repping them proudly defending reigning undisputed national champions of the college football world, the Michigan Wolverines. Okay, uh, so the football team will go one. Dan Campbell and the Detroit Lions are going to have to take a nice spot at number two. Uh, number three. SHAdLEY Uh, my. My loyalty goes out to Tommy Gores and the Detroit Pistons.

Okay, uh, four Dusty may coming into Michigan. Wolverine basketball. Okay, taking them back, I like that.

Uh, Fab five is going to be fabulous once again, okay?

Um, yeah, then you know, Tigers and Red Wings, you know, they're, they're at the bottom, they're tied down there. Are you a Michigan man, Michigan man at heart? What makes a Michigan man?

Well, that's a good question. Um, hard work, and that's about it. Okay, what would you say to people who might call you a Walmart wolverine?

You're not a half wrong, okay? I think that's a fair statement. Um, cause I think at the end of the day, I think it's fair to say the Wolverines have a little bit of pride and prestige. Um, and you know, a lot of doctors and lawyers go there.

Yeah, so when you, you never went to Michigan and you never even touched the university. But then you're sitting there saying, Look at these boys, these are my boys. It feels a little, you know, it's a little fucked up. I listen, I, I, I don't. I don't prescribe to the theory. The Walmart Wolverine. I think you should root for whoever you root for, and it doesn't matter.

If you were to say that about everyone that cheered for every like SEC team, yeah, it's stupid. Yeah, there's a level of prestige.

Yeah, but gatekeeping that stuff is the dumbest thing in my mind. So, um, all right, so those are your teams? Oh, yeah.

And then, you know. But at the end of the day, those teams are awesome, they are nowhere near as awesome as these 10 people in and out of the NBA and WNBA world. That was a great transition.

And last, we're going to start with number 10.

The old man himself, the man who's done it before, and he'll do it again. LeBron James, You think he's going to win another title he could?

Wait, are you a LeBron fan? I? I like excellence, Okay, okay, and he's been excellent.

Okay, so you are now, what do you think about, uh, him, making the Lakers draft his son?

It was disappointing.

Um, LeBron's a better person than that and I think at the end of the day, sure he's going to play with Bronny one day. But it's I liked it. Like, you're disappointed, you're actually, you're disappointed.

Yeah, what about? I mean? I always say, a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man. Well, that's what I always say. Maybe he was trying to speed line that process, yeah.

Bringing Bronny to his team, yeah, so, you know, just disappointing. okay, just, you know, made me look at him differently as a father.

Oh, that's what I was. Oh, okay, yeah, number nine. Not a father.

Are you a dad? No, okay, and neither is this guy, I don't think.

JOEL EMBIID Okay, I think he definitely is a father, 100 a father.

100 a father, All right. Arthur is the name of his son. Yeah, I got a dog named Arthur.

So, all right, so he's a dog, uh, a pomsky, what's that?

Uh, like, a uh, a little, uh. That's the chief of staff for Coachella at LSU. A pomsky, a husky Pomeranian, okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a little thing, okay?

Um, Joel, you know, nine, but you know, at the end of the day is he going to do it? No.

Number eight. I like how he did that was a great, like sports broadcaster thing. You didn't even answer your own question. Is he going to do it?

And then just go to the next one number eight, a guy who, uh, arguably maybe shouldn't be on this list. Um, but you made it. That's why I'm arguing.

Okay, you're arguing with yourself. Love this, but he's probably the best ball handler in the world. Uh, magical, some say.

Kyrie Irving Whoa, Yeah, I don't hate that. At the end of the day, if you're going to, if you want to win a game, he can help you do.

That turns out more than Joel. He was hurt at the end of last season, he got, uh, he just got surgery.

Okay, well, he is Kyrie. This is. There's a lot of big names left, seven.

GianNis Antetokounmpo Okay job. Uh, great Greek freak. Uh, he's, you know, a couple couple rough seasons and the Bucks are a rough organization right now.

Uh, but they're going to be all right and if they have him, they'll manage. Okay, six, obviously, the man who still does it.

Stephen Curry Okay, uh, he. I think he just performed pretty well against, uh, Serbia. uh, I think it was 18 in a couple minutes rivalry game.

Yeah, great kid, gonna keep doing big things. Hold on, let me interrupt you for a second.

Is that is your accent? is that a Michigan accent? nervous Michigan? That is okay.

You Steph Curry's like 34, yeah, he's like 10 years older than you, right? yeah.

He's a young guy, great kid, great kid, not even 40, he's got a whole life in front of him.

Uh, number five, the man himself. SGA Okay, Shane Gildriss.

Uh, at the end of the day, he does, he does great things, and his his ceiling is he's blown my expectation out of the water. Yeah, okay. Number four maybe a pretty controversial pick.

Victor Wenbenyama Oh, I like this. Let's get him out there. Oh, by the time this man can rent a vehicle, he will be the best player in the world. Wow.

What is that? 25? Yeah, 25, we got like four years, yeah.

I mean, to me, the sky is nothing but a limit. When you put it that way like that, it seems like he's about to be the best player in the world. Yeah, because you would assume he'd be able to rent a vehicle. No, he can't.

Can't now, but he will be three more years, probably.

How old is he? Is he? 21, 20? Uh, how old are you? Matthew? 25..

Okay, so you can rent a vehicle, yeah, 20 years old, five more years.

All right, uh, number three on this list, the only woman I want to make clear, let's make it clear now.

Asia WilSon Oh, good call. She averages 12 rebounds, two steals, three blocks, four more points per game than second place in the league. Her EFF, which is her overall efficiency, is nine more than the second place girl.

Wow, and that's points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks together minus field goals and missed free throws per game internals.

I think her being the best woman in the world compared to the second best woman in the world. The gap is as long, as strong, as big as Patrick Mahomes to the second best quarterback in football during the playoffs, specifically the playoffs. Okay, she is, just you're confident with her, you know, she is skillful.

She's athletic, she's insanely talented. Yeah, she can do it all. You're not worried about what she can't do.

You're worried about what she can do all right against them, and she's going to be great, yep.

Okay, who's the second best quarterback in the N.FL? Oh, oh. During playoff time, I would take Joe Burrow. Okay, all right.

At the end of the day, you know, good answer, he hasn't been, you know, yeah, he's been injured, he's come back.

Number two, a teammate of a man we named earlier, Luka Doncic, Okay, you know just what he does? His overall stat line just impressive, as can be a little bit of a beer belly. But hey, I'm no one to talk same age.

Same age, number one good kid, number one great kid.

Number one, the best player in the world.

Nikoli Jokic Yep, I like your list. This is a solid top 10. At the end of the day, he's one.

And that's the difference between him and Luka. Yeah, world champion, and you can argue Asia should be two because she has a title, yeah.

So maybe I'm wrong. Do you want to make that change? Sure, okay, Asia's number two.

Okay, all right, I like that. I can't find any holes, any gaps at all in that top 10 list. I want to be realistic.

At the end of the day, yeah, you have. To be honest, there isn't going to be another two or three girls on this list, yeah.

You know, Caitlin Clark fans can shut the hell up. Oh, with that being said, 19 assists. That was incredible, incredible.

Incredible. I haven't seen something like that since. Kirk Heinrich in NBA 2K06. Oh, but yeah, that's my list. I would rank your list very highly.

That's one of the top 10 lists I've heard this year. Yeah, hopefully it's the best. Okay, all right.

Anything else? Before we talk some other stuff. Hank, do you have any comment on that? No, I think the only one that I would take umbrage with would be SGA. Yeah, you're an umbrage taker.

Who do you think should be on it? Well, I think there's a guy who's the same age. Jason Tatum is not in the top 10 more all N.B.A. first teams. Jalen Brown is not in the top 10..

MORE Yeah, well, I heard your list. I know that I'm just saying, if I were to take umbrage, it'd be with that.

Yeah, more points per game, more rebounds per game, way more playoff wins. No Anthony Edwards either.

But that's fine. Yeah, all right, so, and then you also said that you were working on Mount Rushmore ideas. Why don't you give us two?

Okay, and then we'll keep moving. By the way, Matthew said he was working on Mount Rushmore ideas, he came up with some, he found some.

He found some and split them. I don't know what that means, okay, but he found some and he split them. So one I got families to live with.

The Mount Rushmore Families to live like you could do sitcom families, Yeah, the Griffins, not bad.

Or, like the Hutchinson family, yeah, and you just want to wake up next to good looking people, oh, you know, so families to live with.

I don't hate that one. Yeah, that felt like that, okay, so that you Hutchinson was right there with.

It's a good family. Yeah, okay, yeah, very good family.

Yeah, yeah, no, very good family. Uh, this is a good one. Missed shots.

Oh, Mount Rushmore missed shots. It could be, yeah, that's kind of wide open.

Yeah, a lot of missed shots lately. I'd say, Oh, yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah, missed shots being up there, you know, I also got fat guy sayings.

Oh, okay, I like that.

I'll have another, Yeah, are you going to eat there? Yeah, I could eat.

Yeah, yeah, I'm not full. Yeah, yeah.

I like that. Can we have some? I hate pizza, I hate ice cream, that's what Max has been saying all week.

I'm, Yeah, Hank, how could you call us fat again? Another fat guy? What? No.

Or the one today, Uh, Jerry walked in and was like, Oh, we got the big guys in here. Max was, What is that supposed to mean? damn Max? But it wasn't okay. I was calling you my big boy on Tuesday night.

Yeah, that was good. Yeah, I said, That's my big boy, I did.

It's jersey was too small. Yeah, yeah, uh, okay, Matthew, we're excited to have you.

Um, you'll be helping out as much as you can. Internship for the rest of the summer? Yeah, I was having one conversation with him yesterday that I told him to save for the show, uh, and that that I need to hear your, your coach, Doug's critiques.

He started breaking it down, breaking it down. He has a notebook, so I took notes on every game. Okay, just general light, like philosophy stuff.

Yeah, so it's actually just really impressive what you've managed to do. Feels like, uh, because somehow you performed worse on the second night, um, what? even though you had more wins, huh?

Which is actually impressive. No, this is, this is good, this is good. Um, you threw, I'm going to make this very clear. Eight pick sixes last night.

I played more games, you threw 16 interceptions. Yeah, I played more games, I played five games.

First night I played what, like eight games, second night you still threw 11 interceptions on the first night.

Yeah, three of them pick sixes, yeah, four touchdowns, yeah.

And I think these are all passing numbers, but I think there was only three touchdowns and I give you an extra one. Cause I felt that, okay, um, it was, I mean, it was just honestly awful, yeah.

But I won the Cal game the first game, you threw five interceptions. Yeah, I mean, that's, that's a horrible way to start a season, yeah.

That was the first game that I played in the game. These are long quarters, right? yeah, these are, yeah, 10, 15 minute quarters.

He should be running the ball more. Okay. I mean, that was the one thing I kept noticing is positive yards happen more times than not when the ball is in the ball carrier's hand, yeah.

But then you throw the ball and shit doesn't go well. Yeah, no, you're right, and you were. The craziest part is on the second night you were staying in the pocket more, but yet you were more inconsistent with your throw. So somehow you, you learned from your mistakes, but you didn't.

Um, just so we're clear. I'm the offensive coordinator. I'm not playing the game right, like the players play the game. But the play call hasn't been great either.

Okay, okay, okay, you know, we're going to get into it, okay.

But I did win, I turned the season around and won a bowl game, which you have yet to congratulate me on.

Congratulations, thank you. the best season Wazoo is going to have under you. Coach Ducks. Oh, wow.

I mean, the roster coming into next season are you? Poopy stinks is I'm I'm realistic, okay, and I'm I'm wanting to root for you.

Okay, but when? But when you're missing? reads, Yeah, I mean, I mean, you could have beat Oregon, yeah.

Game one, or that's what is the second or third week. Yeah, you're talking about the first night, though. Yeah, first night it was bad.

It was just it was. It added to the badness on Night two. Okay, you won that game. We, you know, sky's the limit, yeah.

You could have got a three-star recruit. Yeah, okay, I'll take that criticism rough.

Yeah, all right, that's fair. Listen, I'm a big boy. I'll be in the booth next season and I'm excited.

Okay, I'm rude. I would love to see your notes after a game. I would love to get you, you know? The feedback helps, yeah.

No, I think, you know, you need to listen to your thoughts more. I feel like you're, you know, you're just doing things. Yeah, and that's true, you just gotta calm down, breathe and take it one day at a time.

Yeah, one play at a time, yeah, that's facts, that's facts.

Okay, so Matthew, Uh, I like that, I like that. come come in at dogs, I like that.

So you, you're going to be there, you'll, you'll watch the games, the streams, you're going to be with us for the rest of the summer. Uh, we'll see how it goes. We're excited to have you.

And, uh, what else? Anything else for Matthew? No, I'm excited, I'm excited. I think we're going to have him be the world's first college football bracketologist.

Yeah, pre-season, so, uh, maybe next week, yeah, next week.

Next week, do your bracketology for the top 10. Yeah, okay for top 12..

And between now and the end of the show, think of a fire fest. Okay, all right, all right, you got this.

I like Matthew, that's Matthew, our intern. Mr. Hole, Yes.

There's gotta be some people who applied and they're like, the guy fucking deleted 200 podcasts and that's how he got the job. I mean, that's, I like, that. We've got a guy who's whose only job is to press the button to publish the show. Yeah, we have a guy whose only job is to press the button to delete the show forever.

Yeah, yeah. There are also the video with all of the interns that applied will be coming out shortly. Yeah, and you'll see Matthew did sweep us away.

He was, he was quite something. Yup, suit on, and he was, he looked. I think I called him a John Candy new age John Candy, yeah.

Like from plane, trains and automobiles. Yeah, if you're watching right now, he's got a John Candy look that makes him very lovable.

So we're big Matthew guys, okay, sports world Uh, kill balloons officially signed as a bear.

Was there a doubt that he was going to sign? Oh, question, that's funny pft that you asked that. Uh, if you listen to the lamestream media, there was a doubt. The Florios, the Cowards, the RG threes of the world.

What are you talking about? Pre-draft? Uh, I'm talking about the entire process of there was pre-draft. There was, there was in between draft and signing that people were like, Oh, he's trying to get the bears to, uh, agree to no franchise tag.

He's trying to get the Bears to agree to no fifth year right now. Wanted equity? All these rumors were such bullshit because Kayla Williams doesn't have an agent, so you have agents basically saying, Hey, Kayla was. If you had an agent, all this stuff wouldn't be happening.

You should have hired me. But Mike, Florio, Colin Coward, R.G. Three, the countless anonymous trolls, all who said that there was 0 chance to kill. Williams is going to sign with the Bears that he was going to force a trade, that he was going to demand ownership, Florio said. He was going to play another season at USC. You all look like morons.

Kill Wounds is officially signed as a bear. We now have a window and I would like an apology. I would hope Florio would be a big enough man to apologize. I don't expect it, Coward.

The same member, Coward, said His father said He's no chance he's going to go to Chicago. All these people, uh, spent all this time and and no one's taking him to task, so you've been taking a task, and, uh, he's officially a bear. And I'm excited. I think that there was a lot of talk going, like through the season, about certain teams he didn't want to go to.

And then, for like a month leading up to the draft, then that ESPN article came out that was like, Caleb is down to, because it was always bullshit. There was no. I haven't heard any other doubters after the draft post-draft. There were people who were saying he was trying to get the fifth year taken away and to get the franchise tag taken away.

Like, there are people and they'll move the goalposts. I had people yesterday telling me the Kill Wounds won't sign a second contract. That's let's have that discussion. It's just crazy.

I don't listen to the flurries of the world, I listened to the boogers of the world. Uh, on RG for your McFarland, he said today on Get Up. Don't be surprised when Jaden Daniels is the guy that they're talking about next year as being like a C.J. Stroud. And Caleb Williams is the one being talked about. Like, he's a Bryce Young, so I'm I, I go with Booger.

Booger played in the league. Okay, that's my guy. okay, he knows ball. Windows open, windows open.

All right, what else you guys want to talk about? That was a dud. No, I. I honestly. Of course, I didn't hear, Uh, Bronnie hit a three.

He did finally, Ronnie hit two threes. He had a good game, 12 points. And, uh, there's talk that they might shut him down after he had one good game. Just leave him in it with a good taste.

His mouth from Summer League. So I don't know if that's going to happen. Uh, but that was the big story. A lot of other people are pointing out that. Alexander Sorrow went over 15 from the field, over seven from three points against Lasers. Um, you know what?

You learn more from a miss than you do from a make. Yeah, so I feel like Alexander Star has nothing but room for growth. Wait, so Bronnie hit one, three.

Oh, I thought he hit two, I thought he hit two, I thought he. I thought he went two for five, and one of them was clutch. He's on fire. What do you mean?

It was clutch, it was like, the agency, Oh, I think they're all clutch. Yeah, yeah.

He is all clutch, uh, we also had the the list, the top 100 athletes, we called it correctly. Serena Williams was number one, was she?

Yep, fucking nailed that we forgot about Michael Phelps. Oh no, it's Michael Phelps, sorry.

Michael Phelps Number one, We forgot about Phelps. Serena was number two, okay.

And then number three, I'm going to messy, okay, messy, that which I like, that that makes sense.

And then after that Tom Brady, Uh, it was two Serena, three, Messy, four LeBron, five, Tom Brady, six Federer, seven, Simone Biles. Okay, we didn't have that on our radar. Eight, Tiger Woods, Nine, Usain Bolt, 10, Kobe Bryant.

Interesting, yeah, and then Novak, and then Nadal and Ronaldo. oh so interesting. Messy is way higher than Ronaldo.

Way higher, way higher. Where was Djokovic? Djokovic was 10. Did they have any horses on the list?

I don't think they had any horses on the list. null and void. I do not think they had any horses on the list. Steph was 14, Katie Ledecky 15..

Yeah, they did. They did a good job of, uh, switching it up on us because we thought it was going to be Serena. And they went with the Phelps, we forgot about Phelps, uh. We also had Sam Pittman, Arkansas coach, he went in front of the media today and he, he gave the best quote of the off season.

Besides Mike Gundy saying that he's driven drunk thousands of times, uh. Sam Pittman said Our focus this year is to embrace the hog ooh at Arkansas. Okay, which I love.

That's a that's a great slogan that you can put out there. Okay, it's easy to chant. That's what Bill Clinton's motto was for the state when he was governor there. And I feel like, uh, Arkansas might be back.

I think they're also back because they get to renew the rivalry against Texas. Yeah, which is bigger than a lot of people think, like, Arkansas and Texas hate each other, yeah.

And so we didn't get to see too much of that in the last couple of years. But I don't know. I like, I like Sam Pittman. I'm wishing the best for the hogs. Embrace the hog, yeah.

It's, uh, and he's also got those big old breasts, big breasts, yeah, and the jowls, yeah.

I, Yeah, we're Sam Pittman guys. I would like Arkansas to be good. Oh, also Russell Westbrook, he's in the news today, yeah.

What happened with him? So he was traded to the Utah Jazz again and they're going to buy out his contract again. He just gets is the best, he's got, the best career ever, so this is two years in a row where he will be on the Utah Jazz. I don't think they ever even thought about making a jersey for him.

They should really do a retirement video for him. Yeah, welcome back, they should do it, yeah.

Welcome home video. He went to the Nuggets today, Yeah, so he went, he went to the Jazz. They bought the contract out.

Oh, I don't like it. And then he goes to the nuggets. I don't like that fit on the nuggets either, I don't like that on the nuggets, huh?

Okay, and then we had the Open Championship. Victor Hovland sucks, Yeah, tough course.

That was a bad decision by us with the whole death thing, and we're like, Oh, maybe this will be. And then he was eating ice cream that sucked. Yeah, this is tough, course.

We saw a couple of people. I think Morikawa did it where he hit a bunker shot and it just went around the bunker and came back in the bunker. I saw that a couple of times. Those are fun. Bryson's basically out.

Ludvig's basically out. Yeah, Tiger's definitely out. He had that one birdie though, which was sick, yeah.

And then Brooks had like a four hole span where it looked like Brooks is alive, Brooks is dialed right now. And Bryson also had a moment where he corrected a reporter's English, but Bryson was wrong. I don't know if you guys saw.

No, I didn't see that, he, he said. Incalculable. Yeah, uh, the reporter, I believe, hold on, let me get the clip. Uh, I think the reporter said incalculable, and he said, it's actually incalculable or whatever.

Incalculable. Yeah, hold on, ready.

There's not that many.

Incalculable.

And he got to give a look to it. Uncalculable might be a word I don't know, but yeah, incalculable is the word incalculable.

I love the idea, though, of, uh, Bryson, just correcting people and being wrong, though, that's good, I like that, good for you. Did you see the the plants, the borscht?

Is that what it's called? Yeah, that's what Shane was telling us about. Have you seen the pictures of it? yeah.

It's fucking gnarly. Yeah, it is crazy, it doesn't. I know that. Like Link's, golf is supposed to be the best golf and everyone wants to go to, you know, the UK, to play it, but it just never seems fun. No?

I watch it, I'm like this, the wind is always blowing, it's overcast, there's huge bunkers, it just doesn't seem fun.

Yeah, and the courses look like they were just like bombed out in World War Two. Yeah, never repaired them, yeah.

Um, it, it looks like, uh, the worst event to go to as a fan, as a spectator, just sitting out in the rain and the wind the whole time. Maybe you guys love the course I do, but I'm just saying it for like courses, the course is fighting, correct? No, these are good things for the course.

I'm talking about like the experience of being out there in person, i the course. Like, when I watched the Masters, I'm like, man, I wish to go play Augusta. That looks incredible. When I watched the British Open, I'm like, I don't know if I'd want to play that, and I obviously I'm not a big golfer, so I get it.

It's incredible for golfers, but like, it looks miserable in the fact that if I ever got in that bunker, I'd never get out ever in a million years. It's cheap over there, golf is, golf is cheap over there, which seems appealing, I mean, but you have to fly over there.

Yeah, but if you've right, that's true. How cheap is it? 50 bucks, a hundred bucks, but the flight, I'm saying, though, like that.

In the hotel, Hank's thinking about moving. No, no, I'm not saying, I just think that's a nice thing. Like they, golf is for the people, it's for the people, it's for the people.

Should we take a trip? I'd be down at Great Week. Yeah, we're throwing that out there, yeah.

Do you think you can golf right now? I can't. No, oh no, he can't eat ice cream. Fire Fest.

Yeah, it's bad. Oh no, Hank sacrifice, you do sacrifice for us constantly. The team needed me and I didn't want to back out.

Yeah.

What I agree with you, you did. You were awesome on home run Derbies, you didn't want to back out.

No, I didn't, I wanted to, but I knew I couldn't. Hank was very good stand up guy, yeah.

No, he was fucking awesome, he had a great swing. Okay, anything else? Brandon Ayuk demanded a trade.

Again, no, he formally, he like, requested it with the team. Instead of passive, aggressive, instead of passive, instead of just posting practice videos where he's like, Yeah, I wish I could play with this guy.

Yeah, but he apparently requested it with the team. But the Niners have a history of not honoring trade requests. Because you don't really have to. Yeah, no, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to do anything.

And Brandon Ayuk's really good in the NFL. That's what the contracts basically say. It's like, your only leverage that you have is to just be annoying. So he wants to trade it. Wait, is something going on with Devante Adams, too?

Memes.

Uh, a lot of people shot it down, but there's speculation, so. But you're thinking, maybe I'm thinking, if the Raiders start off bad, then trade rumors are going to ramp all the way up. Nice, nice.

Yeah, nice, yeah. On the new Netflix show. The receiver, Uh, he was just pissed at Jimmy G. I saw that.

He's like, he's going to get me killed. Yeah, never want to see that. We should watch that show, I think it's good.

Yeah, never want to get me killed is not what you want. Your wide receivers saying they got to make a show, just the fullback, like how we had the quarterback one, then wide receivers one.

Give me a fullback show, just a 10 minute episode, all fullbacks, yeah, 10 minute episode, but just like dudes, lighten people up.

Sideline shot, sideline shot, sideline shot, yeah, full line package, sideline shot. Then like the bye week, and they're on like their family farm, using a tractor, yeah.

That's what I want. Show me fullbacks, show us fullbacks, all right, should we, uh, do our Mount Rushmore?

Something that is probably the most ambitious thing we've ever done is this podcast. We're going to try to do a Mount Rushmore for the third time for real this time, though. Hank water Oh, we did do water.

Yeah, water was a good one, it was a good one. Yeah, water was a good one.

You remember when, what, what did, what went, one, one overall, I think it was from the hose, maybe, the ocean, the ocean, probably.

My dad did that one, he was bad. Yeah, bad performance. uh, okay.

The second time we did it, it is the Mount Rushmore of pizza toppings, and it's brought to you by our friends at Pepsi. Saucy, stretchy, gooey, crunchy, messy, Pepsi is an essential part of the most undeniably delicious food moments. Let's face it.

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We love pepsi. I was actually drinking a cherry pepsi earlier today. So good. They gave us the old plastic cups, the hard plastic cups, oh, delicious.

So every meal is better with a pepsi, especially pizza, and we are going to do the Mount Rushmore of pizza toppings for real this time. Hank, do you? Are you going to participate?

I think I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to leave it up up to my guy. Hole. No, no, no, no, no, no, I have a question for him, I have a question for him.

If you got, if you got lied to and burned, here we go. I would like to. After this question, I would also like to ask, No, what do you mean? No, I can't ask a question.

Not before he answers, All right, answer his question, then I'm going to ask you. But I object to Hank's question because he did not get burned.

If anything, we were, that's what I was going to ask. We were gassing him up. Yeah, save it, save it, save it, cause.

I'm going to ask him a different question after all, right? You know, you, you do something with honor and integrity, or you you believe everyone's playing by the same rules, and then you find out that people bent the rules.

They went behind your back, they lied to your face. He's a Michigan fan. Would you, would you give them the time of the day and and do another version of that? or would you stand for something?

You should give him another chance. Oh, I love that answer. I did last summer. I love no, no, no, no, you didn't. No, you didn't.

All right, let me let me know. He, he took spinach one more time. Let me ask you a different question. Uh, Matthew, Uh, would you say? uh? If you're? If you have a friend and they are going through some tough times down in the dumps, they're losing Mount Rushmore.

They're just not happy, like, but that's the thing I'm losing Mount Rushmore right now, so how am I supposed to believe you hold on, Mount?

I don't believe I get already, you're already setting yourself up to throw this one. I actually, I've lost the last five. MOunt Rushmore That's not true.

I lost, I lost Monday's Mount Rushmore. His life is not great. And then your friends come and pick you up and try to make you feel good for a moment. We do it as a bit to make you feel worse, they make you feel worse.

That was the worst thing that happened to me that four years ago, we we, we. Hank was getting crushed and life wasn't good for him at the time. And we might have thrown a Mount Rushmore pizza toppings when he found out he was so mad, so, so mad.

And then last year, we tried to do it again for real, and he took spinach one one. Um, so we're going to try to do it for real this time. Let's have, let's put it together, let's do it.

I'm going to go for real, me, too. Hank's acted like a little kid at camp who got bullied once. He's like, This is the worst thing that's going to happen to my whole summer. Can I come home?

I understand your PTSD. I said that was the worst thing that happened to me that summer. It was a joke. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, I did, too.

Well, you just said, whatever, all right, I know you have PTSD from this. Hank doesn't think you actually got it? I kind of.

You said this was going to be the worst thing that happened to me this summer. I kind of I did not all right, okay.

Whatever, let's do it. Hey, who's who's up first? Hank is.

Hank.

Pepperoni come on, hank, good pick. wait, so good pick.

Don't be a bummer, don't be a bummer, come on. I don't believe I can. I literally will not do this in good faith.

You just set it up, your friend's been losing Mount Rushmore's. Have I been losing Mount Rushmore's? Yes, so how like I can't.

I'm going to go through with good faith, I'm not going to, I can't, but our picks are going to show that we're trying. But Hank, you're not losing Mount Rushmore season by that much.

No, you're not, I'm only four points ahead of you and I lost on Monday's show. It's early, there's always a comeback.

All right, who's up second? I think that'd be Max, I'm second.

Yes, oh, fuck yeah, sausage easy.

Good pick, good pick, all right, I'm going to go double olives.

No, it's BFD, right? It was a joke. Wait, did I go last last time? No, you went first last time. It's a circle.

I'm sorry Hank, Wow, I'm sorry, I apologize, I apologize.

All right, I'm going to go.

With.

Bacon Then I'm going to go, wait, we're all fucked up. Oh yeah, bacon.

Bacon.

Okay.

Egg has collapsed, Hank definitely thinks something's up. egg has collapsed, so what's been taken? Pepperoni, sausage and bacon.

I want to take double Olives, I'm not going to. I'm not joking that was a joke. Hank, that was a joke.

Hank's having a great time. That was a joke, Hank. Can you at least pretend to be excited about Mount Rushmore season?

I got a question.

Does sausage include all sausages, like classic sausage? I think sausage is sausage is chorizo sausage. I think chorizo can be.

Chorizo can be different, so I'll go barbecue chicken and then chorizo are my two picks, okay?

My second pick is going to be extra cheese. I don't like extra cheese. Oh, I love extra cheese. I'll take Buffalo chicken, okay?

Nice pick hank. This is a good draft, hank. How do you think we're throwing this? There's no throwing.

We're doing this.

I will do peppers and onion.

We'll give you both, No, we'll give them both. No, he has to take one of the two. Okay, fine, we're not pandering.

One or the other, either peppers or onion, you have to take one or the other.

All right, I'll do peppers and onion. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, two picks. that's good, two picks.

That's a good pick, okay, I'll take the other one, okay?

Max.

It feels like there's a gun at everyone's head right now. We're in a Mexican standoff, but we're actually doing this for real. Yeah, no, hank, are you all right? No, it's not.

I don't think he's all right, all right, Max. I mean, we all know that Mel Rushmore died four years ago.

Welcome to Rushmore season.

Okay, some people hate it, but I absolutely love it. I'm going to go mushrooms. Oh, I like them. Yeah, not bad. I'm going to go meatball.

That was my other pick. Yeah, meatball baby, you can pick it.

We're not allowed to, like, think about two picks, I mean, I would have picked all these. I'm saying I was thinking between meatball and mushroom, got it, yeah.

You love meatball? I always pick meatball. That was the other reason it was on your sub too, yeah, and it was also on my meat.

I should have done meatball, it was on them all. Mel Rushmore's salads. Meatball. Yeah, great salad.

Meatball salad is an excellent salad. Is that a real thing? Oh yeah, it's an Italian thing. meatball salad, meatball salad.

That's the fattest thing you've ever said. It's a thing I can't tell you what things are.

Okay, can I put forth a motion to have Hank smile? He won't just smile, Hank, he won't, you'll feel better.

Is a white pie a topping or no? I don't even know what would be the topic. Is it a different sauce? We'll give you a reguat.

Yeah, that was weird how you said that that was very horny, say it again.

No, I'm not saying it again. Okay, I do love a white pie. love a white pie.

Fuck it, I love it, I don't care. Pineapple I love pineapple on pizza.

Yeah, I fucking love pineapple on pizza. I love pineapple with barbecue chicken on pizza. yeah, I like pineapple on pizza too, yeah.

There will be haters. Pineapple and bacon Pineapple and bacon's great as well, because that's my favorite pizza. Yeah, I don't know why.

What happened? At what point did it become a thing where people were like, pineapple doesn't belong on pizza? I personally don't like pineapple on pizza, but I don't mind people that do. Yeah, but it's just like, it's one of those things, like it's kind of like Mayo, when Mayo just got a bad rap.

For no reason. If you're doing like a big order, get one of them that's got the pineapple on there. Yeah, of course, and then I'll go with a prosciutto, okay?

Last pick?

I'm going to go in a nod to the margarita. Pizza. Basil Yep, good. pick fresh basil. Get a little fresh basil on there. fresh basil, mozzarella, tomato.

That's really all you need. Yep, it's a good pick. I'm going to go with a sopressata, I think I like it better than a pepperoni, and it's kind of similar.

Oh yeah, sopressata. I don't think I've ever had sopressata. Oh, it's good, it's really good.

Oh, I forgot one, I have another one, I forgot one. Oh, I'm so mad at myself. I'm so mad at myself.

Can I ask Hole for a recommendation?

Yeah, his name's Matthew. I don't know if hole hole sounds so weird, but I understand we do nicknames. Should I go meat or cheese meat, taco meat?

You asked him if you should go meat or cheese. Yeah, come on, I was going to say meat, taco, meat.

It's not bad. Yeah, I've had a taco pizza before, that's a good pick, that's a good pick.

I totally forgot I'm going to go. Burrata. Oh, burrata's a good one. Burrata's a good one. Burrata would have been much better than taco meat.

Burrata's a great one. Thanks fucking. yeah, Thanks Matthew. Oh Matthew.

Piece of shit you ruined it. Would you guys have accepted? Hot honey? Yep, I was thinking the same thing.

That was the one I forgot. Okay, that was the one I forgot. Yeah, it's because when you said sopressat, I was like, hot honey.

So that's the exact thing that was going through my head. I was like, Uh, that could be like a drizzle. I don't know if that's necessarily a topping. I'll just go with Sopressat. I'm mad at myself.

But Hot Honey was what I was thinking as well. I'm mad at myself, all right, what got left off? I like? And this is more. You do it with the prosciutto, but an egg on the pizza is pretty good. Do you guys ever get that in the middle?

Never have. Oh, it's great. No, you don't like it. MATTHEW No, I'll get you guys. One. I order from a place that it's prosciutto and there's an egg in the middle and it's fucking delicious.

I like the I actually like the pizzas with like the prosciutto and the arugula on top of it as well, so arugula is another one I like. Jalapeno could have put that on there.

Jalapeno on a pizza is pretty good, too. Yeah, I hadn't had it till I've been out here, but sausage like jardiniere is really good. Yeah, I've never had jardiniere.

Yeah, it's regional, but it's good. If I get like, a tavern style pizza, get one of the jardiniere, probably the fattest thing you can do, but I fucking love it. It's the pizza place in Madison. Ian's, which actually they have one, Demos, is the name of it.

It's in Chicago as well. Macaroni, Yep, we had that in college, they have that at what's the name of the pizza Buffet place?

Pizza Hut, CC's, CC's, CC's Pizza Buffet, There you go, Matthew.

Nice job. Hole tomatoes on the pie. Sometimes it's pretty good. Yes, it can be overkill.

Yeah, yeah, tomatoes like a margarita. yeah, margarita pizza.

Yeah, Margarita pizza is good, salami, uh, trust tree, I used to work at a place, uh, that had like it was. It wasn't great pizza. But it was an Italian place with, like the oven style thin, and they had a really good like salami and like hot honey pizza.

Yeah, mmm, are we the Trust Tree? But I, I haven't ordered it, like it's not something I would order.

I want pizza real bad right now. Tell you guys something, being totally honest, I don't mind anchovies.

I don't like them, I don't mind at all. I almost never get a pizza with anchovies on it, but when there's like a little bit of anchovies as a treat, they just taste like salty. You just need you don't taste fishy at all. It's just so hard to do that because you just can't. You need, like, buy-in from, like, three people.

Yeah, if I'm like by myself once every couple of years, just as a treat, get half of it with anchovies on it. Yeah, I had a chicken caesar slice at my college pizza place that was good.

It was, it was just like chicken caesar salad on a pizza, but it was nice. One of the biggest pet peeves I have is when you order pizza for a large group. And someone's like, get a get a cheese or or whatever cheese, or like, maybe get like a mushroom or something. And they only have one slice of that and they eat all the other ones.

I'll make people if they ask for something like, if they ask for an anchovies, I'd be like, you have to eat four slices. You better put in work like you have to, you can't, you can't have one anchovy. And then go to the pepperoni that we're all eating. Have you guys ever ate a full pie by yourself? Colony Grill?

Yeah, I don't know if that's full pot, like it is the full pizza, but it's thinner. But yeah, yeah.

I've had it. What is your favorite like? If you're going and you can get any toppings you want, like, what is your customizable pizza order like right now? Bacon, pineapple?

I, I'm doing pepperoni jardiniere and then I've got hot honey at home that I put on it. I go one pepperoni pie, one barbecue chicken with like sauteed onions pie.

One cheese pie is all for me, that's it. I go pepperoni and then a barbecue chicken with sauteed onions. I do sausage onions and mushrooms, that's good.

That's my favorite good order, solid order. I love mushrooms on pizza, but I know people aren't going to, and there's some people that just hate mushrooms. No, I think mushrooms belong on pizza, yeah.

It's all about the saute, too. Like, it's not. They're not eating, like, you know, dry mushrooms, yeah, when I was in college, I was a pizza delivery guy for, I think, a full year, full calendar year. I worked at a place called Anthony's Italian Touch, which is a very creepy name for a pizza.

That is weird. And what made it weirder was the guy that ran the place was not Anthony. His name was Nick, but he just called it Anthony's Italian touch because it sounded more Italian. But I had this one customer that would order extra mushrooms, like double mushrooms.

That was all that he would get, and that shit would stink up. Double mushrooms. Double mushrooms, like extra extra mushrooms, double mushrooms.

My car would smell so bad. What do you guys think about? A little pesto pesto on the pizza, that's nice.

Pesto's not bad, a little change of pace, not bad. That's another one where, like, I won't order it if I'm not eating, like, you have to eat all of them.

You have to eat a lot of slices of them. Yeah, you can't be like, I want the pesto pizza. memes keep saying vodka pizza, but I don't think that's a topping. I feel like that's just.

It's a sauce. Yeah, it's a sauce. I thought about doing stuffed crust, but I don't think that's a topping, right, no.

It's a style of pizza. No, yeah, that's style. Matthew. Did we miss anything?

No, I think you covered it, okay, I mean, unless you want to start talking like barbecue sauce and ranch, and well, yeah, barbecue chicken. well, yeah, but like.

Yeah, yeah, just the sauces. Yeah, I do like a little, but yeah, like if you can't get a little barbecue sauce, a little. Frank's red hot, Frank's red hot's pretty good.

Frank's red hot goes on everything. If it's like shitty pizza, I like like a ranch or like a hot sauce, but if it's good pizza, I just like one, like the pizza by itself. By the way, Hank still thinks we're fucking with him, he's just not participating. I think what happened is this took Hank back to a dark place.

Yeah, no, there's PTSD. It's like trauma involved, and he heard the death of this segment, there's not.

We've had so many good moments, we had Max saying the titty fucking.

There's been some incredible moments. Mr. Positions Yeah, yeah.

Billy and Jake doing a.

I taco bell orders. There's been some great Mount Rushmore moments. I don't know the integrity of the death of lost.

Look at that chick. We haven't broken the integrity since we broke it one time, and you still have trust issues. Why wouldn't I? Of course I do, because we've done three seasons straight up since that.

I've watched that video so many times. By the way of us doing the original Mount Rushmore draft. And then Hank being totally surprised. Whenever he got, like his next pick on the board, he was so mad at us. Yeah, so so mad. We're back.

This was a good draft. Come on, hank, yeah, good times.

Good draft, Hank. You won an N.B.A. championship like three weeks ago. Your favorite athlete of all time sucked your dick at his retirement ceremony. That's got to you.

You can't get down in the dumps because of a segment. I'm not down in the dumps. He's got his guard up. Yeah, he's got his guard up.

As I should, but you are down in the dumps. Well, we did, we just pulled this off, now we can put it to bed.

Now we can lay it to rest. Pizza toppings are done. What I feel like, that's what you're setting me up, you're trying to set me up.

I know I know you are. This whole time. You've been like flinching, trying to get me to get my guard down, and then you come back over the top. I'm surprised.

Because I'm getting smoked in the standing, yeah, what are the standings? It's not that bad, yeah.

Remember last year you guys didn't you guys make a comeback? Yeah, billion Jake did. Oh, it was billion Jake.

It'd be a real shame if people voted for this Mount Rushmore based on attitude during the Mount Rushmore.

No, we had a good lead. And then I went on vacation. Oh, yeah, that's right, so you just suck at Mount Rushmore Hank.

That's all it is.

Yeah.

I feel like you always have two good picks. I tried to blame the team, I had the team angle for a while, yeah.

There's nobody left to blame now. Yeah, it's all right. It's a long season, it is a long season.

Yeah, we got a lot of Mount Rushmore left. Okay, let's get to our interviews. We got two great interviews.

We have Mike Vrabel. Wait, did we lose last year? Max? Yeah, you lost, you had to go over. Yeah, we did the 24 hour stream.

Yeah, it was bad. We have Mike Vrabel. And then we have an awesome interview with comedian Gary Veeder, who has a crazy, crazy story about his life with his dad growing up, who was a scam artist. Insane stories and it's brought to you by our friends at Coors Light.

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Lowest price guaranteed. Okay, here he is, Mike Vrabel.

Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very, very special guest, one more very, very, very one of our dear friends. It is a chill week interview presented by Coors Light and Chevy Silverado.

One of our dear friends, recently retired NFL head coach Mike Vrabel. You can't fire me. I quit, I was going to say the recently retired, but then I realized you have a job.

You have a great job. I asked Kevin Stefanski, the coach of the Cleveland Browns, What is Vrabes doing for you? and he said, He's a scout team middle linebacker, so that's what you're doing for the Browns.

Partly, yeah, anything they need help with and anything I can do to learn. It's been awesome. You were actually putting on the pads, right?

You were doing like, kickoff, return, yeah, just helping, you know what I mean? Bubba Ventrone is a special teams coordinator. Bubba was a rookie when I was with the Patriots.

And so we would take Bubba and his girlfriend, his wife at the time, now, his girlfriend Katie. You know, we take these rookies at dinner or whatever. And so Bubba now is a special teams coordinator, so it was an easy transition to help on special teams.

I've played a lot of those positions, I've coached them and helped Kevin and Andrew and the Browns and the Haslam family. However, I can wait. You just said, whatever I could do to learn, yeah.

I mean, that's actually a pretty crazy, it's cool and also crazy thing to say. You're a very good NFL head coach, that is in a transition period where you're going to be an N.FL head coach again.

And you're like, I'm back to learning. Well, I think, like anything else, you guys look at podcasts, there's a million podcasts. There's a lot of ways to coach football. There's 31 other teams head coaches.

There's coordinators, there's guys that have been other places, Andrew Berry, his personnel, staff. How they go through draft prep, how they integrate analytics and how they communicate with the coaches. And all that stuff that I'm trying to learn and be a part of. And it kind of worked out for them and for me especially. And so that's what I've tried to do. That's a super mature way to look at it.

When you relate it to podcasting, it's like, we should send Hank off to another podcast to learn. Yeah, we should learn, we should send him to politicking. When we were at Ohio State, Urban Meyer was like, whatever Alabama's doing. If they have 50 people in recruiting, we need 51, and if they have this, then we need to have one more.

That's how he looked at it. And so you're always trying to figure out what everybody else is doing that's successful and trying to figure something out. So you're a consultant for the Browns, right? Is that your official title?

Yes, that's an awesome title. Coaching and personnel consultant. It seems like you do whatever is needed. Are you coming up with your own initiatives?

You have to be like a self-starter. I think there's a lot of leeway there. I think the first thing I want to do is help Kevin wherever I can. I've got a lot of respect for him. I think he's done an unbelievable job.

He's the best is help and support him wherever if he has questions or he wants to bounce something off of me. And then I thought it was a great idea. We have a pretty new offensive staff.

A lot of guys that have transitioned on to other places and now we've hired some really good coaches that are new to Cleveland. Why don't you hang out on the offensive side and give a defensive perspective? Tommy Reese, former quarterback of Notre Dame, Alabama coordinator.

And he's coaching tight ends, so he's like, why don't you work with Tommy and the tight ends? And so I played a little tight end with him. You know, it's not a bad. Oh, maybe. Miles Garrett at tight end this year.

I mean, you can't stop that, you can't stop it. So anyways, that's been really cool to have that perspective on offense, which, you know, having six years as a head coach in Tennessee, there's plenty of offense that I was doing and understood and communicated with.

So that's what I've been doing. So, do you think Stephancy is going to have you address the team in the Mike Vrabel situational spot this year? During the season? Potentially, I mean, we've discussed it. I put tapes together for Kevin and things that they've done, things that we've done, things that people around the league have done.

I showed it to him, he's got a great group there and so we sat a few mornings and went through the tape. And what you try to do situationally is you try to take all these clips and you try to consolidate it down. So that you can show the team, you can show the quarterback.

So that everybody sees it through the same set of eyes. They're not going to be able to watch 3,000 clips in the last 45 seconds of the first half and the last 45 seconds of the game. So you're like, Okay, that's a good one. And then you come up with this cut up and then you just, you know, show it to the coach. And then he decides how we want to do things. Do you know what I'm talking about, though, in terms of the actual situational spot?

I knew, I knew where you were going with this. Yeah, there's a lot you don't.

Just tell me what situation? Yeah, it's. The Tennessee Titans are playing a Sunday night or Monday night game and they're like seven to 10 point underdogs and everyone thinks they're going to get absolutely killed. And then Mike Vrabel comes in and he wins the game.

We did that quite a few times. Yeah, that seemed like every game we won, pretty much seemed like that. Any time the Titans were, like, consensus written off, as they got no chance in this game, you guys would win out.

Decent money line. Yeah, very good. So like, that's the that's. I don't know, I don't know how you did it. It really was more than just a couple times where it came.

It became something that I almost expected. Where it's like, if they're, if their backs are against the wall and people think that they got no chance. Vrabel is going to figure out a way to get this team to play and play their best football. Here's what I say, you guys have a team, you guys have an operation.

You're very good at what you do. Early on, maybe a few years ago. You're like, we're going to make this switch and it's going to work and our shit's going to take off. And we're going to, we're going to nail this.

We're going to figure it out. Whatever that was, whether that was with Dave or you guys. And so early on, I forget what it was 2018, we said, so it was like.

I think it was the second game we're playing Houston and they were rolling, they were good, Deshaun was down there, we, we had nobody.

We had everybody got hurt in Miami, we had, like our practice squad tackles, Marcus got hurt and it was like, how are we going to win?

Well, we faked a punt, threw a punt to Bayard for a touchdown. I was like, we're going to stand in the huddle for 38 seconds, we're going to run the line, snap it, we're going to go wildcat with Derek. I mean, we did all.

And so I was like, for the night before the game, I was like 40, 17 and two. I was like, we got to run the ball 40 times. We need to hold them to 17 points or less and we need to get two turnovers and we won 20 to 17..

Yeah, and it was like, that was that. So when you explain these things, then you're like, this is how we're going to win. It may not be the same every week, it may not always work, but this was the plan.

And I think if you can do those things and then the people around you see it work, they're like, OK, well, we'll give it another try and see how it goes. So you had a specific like plan like that when you would go into a game where maybe your team didn't match up. 100 like, talent for talent. You know, if you play this game 100 times, you're not going to win 50 of them. But you had that plan of, hey, if we can muck it up and do these three things, reserve the right to punt.

We played the 49ers and, you know, we came out. I said, reserve the right to punt. It was back and forth, we took care of the ball, a huge turnover in the red zone.

And and then Jimmy came out. I think it was the first play of the second half and we had gone from playing all zone, we switched it up, we played, man.

He kind of chunked the ball, Imani Hooker intercepted it and we ended up beating them. And they were, you know, that was a Thursday night game. Yeah, right, around Christmas.