Matt Damon And Casey Affleck, Mt Rushmore Of Dumb Things We Used To Think + Football Is Back

Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube, Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Now streaming on Apple TV. You're the marine, yeah.

You're the ex-con.

Yeah, I did time, but you only got to cast aspersions at me.

From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Bourne Identity comes a new film.

It's your first job.

I know what I'm doing.

A little late for a career change?

Starring Matt Damon, Everybody in New England is after us and Casey Affleck. What are you doing taking notes?

You're the ex-con.

Yeah, I did time, but you only got to cast aspersions at me.

From the director of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Bourne Identity comes a new film.

It's your first job.

I know what I'm doing.

A little late for a career change?

Starring Matt Damon, Everybody in New England is after us and Casey Affleck. What are you doing taking notes?

On today's part of My Take, we have an awesome interview with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck. Their new movie is coming out next week on Apple TV The Instigators. It is awesome and great interview. Talking to both those guys. We also do, I would say, my favorite, Mount Rushmore, that we've done all season.

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Okay, let's go.

Boy.

Now in the street, there is violence and there's lots of work to be done.

Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

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We're back, baby. It's so great, It's so great to see football on TV, so great to see the score bug, so great to hear the music.

Yeah, the minute the calendar turns to August, it's just like, Okay, this is now a football month. We are now in football months like we've made it. I don't want to wish away the summer, but the summer bye-bye, hank back to work.

I know that they're back. In fact, I'm surprised that we haven't talked about this yet, but they're back because they have an athlete at the Olympics.

True, they do.

Watching Simone Biles I don't see any Packers players in attendance watching Simone Biles.

No, Jonathan Owens, just hanging out watching Simone Biles.

There for life.

You're right. Oh, Cale Williams is actually wearing a full jersey. I like that, just seeing that Hall of Fame.

Wait, but that wasn't his number in college, right?

No, that was not his number because Keenan Allen, he did the right thing. There was a report today that Cale Williams told people to clean up his lockers in a Monte tumor. Who cares? That's not his job. I thought it was being a leader.

The Hall of Fame game, it is technically football, that should be the slogan of it, and we've made it. Listen, we did a great job pretending to get excited about the Olympics this summer. We got into the Copa Euros, which was an incredible just waste of time for us to fast forward through the months of June and July.

We don't know yet, we don't know yet because they're about to take the field, but yeah, they're allowed to wear the Guardian cap during the regular season, too. I likened it to John Olerud. It's going to be a John Olerud situation where he wore the batting helmet playing first base.

I don't think so. I think Roger Goodell was like, tell you what? In the effort of players safety, I will allow you to wear a giant helmet that makes you look like a clown. Yeah, and no one's going to do it. And then Roger Goodell could be like, Oh, I gave them the option of wearing the big red clown nose on their face, but they chose not to do it.

Yeah, the only time I could see someone wearing a Guardian cap is like, getting concussed in the game. Somehow. Passing the test and the doctors being like, you know what, just put this thing on, you'll be fine, yeah.

Yeah, that whole class they got paid, that's the class you want to be in if you're a quarterback in the NFL. Next up is the Brock Purdy discourse.

He deserves every dollar that he got. Uh, some may say, you know, paying a 32 year old that much money, uh, who's only played eight games, kind of crazy. But I'm not going to judge I. They they got their guy, uh. And he's got at least four or five more years left before he's in his late thirties. What were you just talking about, Hank?

So in Hall of Fame news, I'm I'm a little bit upset at the Hall of Fame. And their sculptor, the guy that does the bus. Because they didn't make Peyton Manning's forehead nearly big enough. Yeah, I feel like I feel like Peyton told them. Hey, lower the hairline a little bit, take it easy on my forehead. It's not realistic.

Yes, I'd agree. Um, all right. Only other football news is there's we're starting with injuries which suck, and training camp injuries have started to happen.

And Deontay Foreman got airlifted on a helicopter to Roanoke for for a head injury. But I think he's okay that that happened during a kickoff drills, they were doing a kickoff drill at practice and I guess he took a shot to the head. But I want to know if you gave Jim Harbaugh truth. Serum what he thinks about his quarterback being out for weeks with a foot injury.

Um, oh, that's a good question. I think I feel like Jim Harbaugh has put well, No, he's, he's a football guy through and through. I would say, maybe the good news is that, uh, you'll see less highlights of Quentin Johnson dropping balls. Cause that was all of Twitter for an entire day.

He goes, he's going to, he's going to figure out a way to win. But I can imagine him seeing his quarterback with a foot injury and being like, your foot's a long way from your heart. Son, you just cut it off. He'd probably have him do the J.J. McCarthy stuff, just like, take your shoes off and ground yourself every morning. It sounds like you're depressed.

Yeah, um, all right. So other things Olympics, we have the Olympics going on. Team USA Steve Kerr in an all time uh, whoops.

Uh, do you think game for Jason?

Yeah, do you think that was an overcompensation? A little bit? Hank No, it's probably just the matchups. oh, the matchup.

Crepes of Wrath.

Yeah, I've never seen a man eat so many crepes. So they had to lock him up, did not get arrested, but he did give us a video. He's. He will be back with us in flesh for the start of Grit Week, which starts on Sunday.

Well, the first big head Joe Buck picture of the season. I have not seen this video for Max yet, but I'm I'm interested to see what he says. Because Hank's been zoned and Max has been zoned for the first game. We're entirely different on what they have to be right now. You guys just flip flop places, so Hank, you were saying that, uh, at least Jason Tatum got minutes.

Let's see what Max has to say. Okay, yeah, let's see what Max has to say.

All right.

Let's talk Team USA, let's talk Joel Embiid. I'm sure all the people that are listening to this right now, I've just heard Big Cat and PFT and Hank just spew a bunch of bullshit, a bunch of propaganda anti Joel Embiid propaganda that wants the listener to think that Joel Embiid didn't play today or yesterday, or whatever day this would be, because he's not a good player, that's not the case, it's Team USA.

Oh, memes, so so, back us up, memes. We've. For the last two episodes, we've had Max send you videos without us seeing it, so we would see it for the first time. As the same time as AWS, is that a fact?

That's a fact.

Okay, so me thinks the Lady Doth protest too much. Because Max just went in an entire rant about us slandering Joel Embiid. And we didn't say one bad thing. Nope, we didn't even address. We basically just said, Oh yeah, he didn't play any minutes and then he just went into this whole thing about.

I didn't even think about Joel Embiid being fat, but Max makes a pretty good point that we should probably talk about that.

Out of shape? I actually agree with him for once, like, the matchup thing is a valid point. My only takeaway from that was just, Joel Embiid is slow. Yeah, Joel Embiid is slow, and speed is actually important when you're playing sports.

Yeah, and listen.

South Sudan players are faster than NBA players. Yes, was the takeaway there?

I think Steve Kirsch is being a good coach, he knows that Joel Embiid can't match up against South Sudan. Well, yeah, so they're a dynamic group of playmakers over there.

Yeah, we'll have to, we'll have to dive into the matchups. Hopefully they have a big, fat guy that Joel Embiid can play against.

I'm going to wait for a.

It's so weird, it's so weird. We also had the women's, our Olympic, or, sorry, our gymnastics team, dominated again. Simone Biles is the goat, she's incredible.

Yeah, we're good, we're dominating the silvers, we are the absolute kings of silver right now.

Yeah.

So I don't know if we're dominating the golds, but yeah, the gymnastics team, awesome, the men's gymnastics, they got a bronze and they were really happy about that. So I'm happy for the guy that looks like Robbie Fox.

Yeah, good for him. Got engaged in one of bronze, No. China still is leading us in gold, we got to get that.

I think it's disgusting that the United States can't win at shooting.

Yeah.

That's our sport.

It should be, it should be something we excel at. Did you also see the first new kickoff going right now? PFt, it's crazy. What have they done to our game?

When the XFL did it, they used to have the flags that the refs would raise right? And I don't like introducing a new prop for the refs to be using. But they got rid of those. I think the kickoff's going to be good just so that we can watch dumb coaches screw it up.

And the Bears just covered the kickoff perfectly, so 1-0 on kickoffs for the Bears we looked awesome. Got them down at the 26. Which I think if you kick it out of the landing zone, where does it go?

I think it's the 30.

Let's just remind everyone it's still preseason for us, so I use the preseason to get myself warmed up for the season. I'm not going to let myself be belittled by any new rules or any new people. The preseason is there for a reason. We all need our reps.

It feels great.

So Katie Ledecky won a bunch, our gymnastics team won everything, and then did you guys see the craziest? I think it was the ping pong final, it was older brother versus younger brother, which was nuts.

The two Escobars.

No, no, no. Eastern European Alexis and Felix Lebrun, France's Olympic brothers. So they played, it might not have been for the gold medal match, but they played.

Because?

Yeah, the older brother stood up on the table and, like, cheered and was going nuts, and the younger brother was just crying into his shirt. But I thought that was pretty cool, the brothers are playing.

If the younger brother wins, then that is.

Right, although, is ping pong one of those sports that, like, age matters? Probably not right?

I don't think so.

Table tennis Yeah, oh.

There's a lot of running.

Table tennis, that's what we got to call it table tennis. I'm not calling it table tennis, okay?

Zander.

Name one Golf Olympic moment ever Zander wearing white sneakers. There's a moment.

Yeah, electric. Who could forget?

Yeah.

Do we want to talk about boxers and what gender they were assigned at birth?

I don't really care to, but we can if you want to.

I just want to make you uncomfortable. This is why, this is why....

It sounds like you want to talk about it.

Go on, No, I just knew that you didn't.

Well, do you?

It's why the original.

Well, do you?

You should. It's why the original I'm trying to.

I feel like I shouldn't say it publicly because I don't know enough.

No, I'm just saying this is why the original Olympics had them everyone competing completely nude back in ancient Greece, that's when sports were sports.

But what's your take?

My take is that I don't know shit about what's going on right now. So I'm just going to sit back and not pretend to care about women's boxing at the Olympics.

Yeah, I agree. I asked for someone to explain to me, like a five-year-old. I had like 400 replies in the first two minutes and every single reply was different. FACTS I was like, Well, this isn't going to work, I'm out, I'm out on this entire discourse.

For my limited reading. It comes down to a big beef between the IOC and then the IBF, which is a boxing governing body that has actual beef with the people on the IOC. It's like a personal dispute as to who ruled her to be having, like too many, either it was chromosomes or testosterone to compete. That was the IBF that said that, but they won't say what the test was.

Yeah, I like to keep sports fun, and when I saw this pop up, I was like, Well, this doesn't seem fun at all, and I'm out. I'm going to watch the Olympics, to watch sports that I never watch and kind of care about the U.s winning.

I want to hear Hank's take.

Oh, go ahead, hank.

Which I think we can all agree that if there's a man that is competing, punching women in the face, that's bad.

That's very bad.

But it's, but it's. And also, Algeria doesn't seem like the most friendly country towards gender reassignment surgery. So it's probably a case where she was born as a female, always identified as a female. And then there was a ruling by the IBF that she had something extra that we don't know what it was.

The, um, the best. The best thing that came out of this, though, was, uh, this, this Twitter exchange I'll read to you guys. This uh, woman, Amy uh, Broadhurst wrote. Have a lot of people texting me over Iman Key lift Uh, personally, I don't think she has done anything to cheat.

It's a disgrace to the ancient Greeks, who embraced very strict traditional gender and sexuality rules.

Correct.

As we all know.

Correct. Um, oh, I had one last Scotty Shepherd thing for you guys, uh? He was asked in a interview at the Olympics. Uh, do you ever go and just look at all your trophies? Uh, would it give you a big head? And he wrote, He responded.

And the probably trying to fuck.

Yeah, and probably trying to fuck which like, Yeah, good for you dude, you, you put on the green jacket and be like, What's up you feeling it?

The green where the green jacket and only the green jacket.

Yeah, yeah, um, okay, anything else? Mike Trout's out for the year.

Dingers only. Well, that means that means I get a sub for Mike Trout. Yes, because the the I.R. slash, uh, pedophilia list, yes. So I will be making my choice, I believe, tomorrow about that.

So you have the strategy of drafting half your team already injured is you're not in last.

Which I did unintentionally because Mike Trout had just gotten hurt when I drafted him.

Yeah, uh, he's been hurt for a while.

I, Uh, Mike Trout, I forgot about, I'll be honest. Um, but there was another guy that was hurt that I drafted, that had just gotten hurt.

Yeah, I think. John CarLo Yeah, all right, the Bears just gave up an opening drive.

We got jimmer playing.

Jimmer was hurt. Today. We lost the Lithuania. We're owen three.

We would have beaten with Jimmer, yeah.

But we also maybe not because we lost the first two games of Jimmer.

So we just yeah, but Jimmer matches up well against Lithuania, yeah.

We just suck. Okay, let's get to our uh, Mount Rushmore. very fun Mount Rushmore. I actually dubbed it, Uh in the ad coming up.

Meatballs.

Meatballs.

Meatballs are the only food.

Um, okay, I was. I was thinking of this more as a kid.

I have mostly as a kid, but I'm just saying, if you have something, he's like, Oh, I I thought this when I was 20.

Yeah, no.

Oh, Hank's face, it's something just popped into his head.

No, I want to hear, I want to hear the stuff that Hank just recently said. That wasn't true, Hank, you do, you can do your own.

Hank put it, put a star next to that one. And when you say it, let us know that it was the one that literally just popped in your head. Okay, okay, love that.

Um, so I was thinking as a kid. So the first thing is the easiest one that everyone thought of is that Santa Claus was real.

Okay, spoiler If you're riding in the car with your child, I'm sorry that they're crying.

Do you guys remember what, uh, grade you were in when you found out?

Yes.

I remember specifically the moment because I was the youngest.

Were you eating meatballs?

I had two older brothers.

I had a big plate of meatballs.

I had two older brothers and like, I had an, uh, like a like an uncle that had white hair and kind of looked like Santa Claus. So we we would like look out our window some years and see and like, see him go around the like in the backyard. To, like, sneak in and put the presents under the under the tree. So we would always like, try and catch Santa Claus. And then one year, I turned to my brother, who I shared a room with, who was like, five years older than me.

Oh, meatballs.

You're like, who was that throwing snowballs at all those years?

We were actually throwing meatballs.

Yeah, those were ice meatballs.

Me too, all right, so I'm up, yep, okay.

Yep, had it on.

I honestly thought that I could.

Every kid.

And um, I, I was probably wrong.

Yeah, it's very wrong.

Cause you can't reach like you would melt before you reach the center of the Earth.

Also, we have not even come close to digging to the center of the Earth.

Yeah, so I looked this up a couple months ago. It's actually embarrassing. Yeah, how shallow the deepest hole ever dug is.

It's like seven and a half miles.

It's it's ridiculous, we need to. It's Jurassic Park, let's do that, let's rebuild Titanic to Titanic, too. And then let's figure out a fucking way to dig more than just seven miles across the Earth.

Yeah, what if it's a fruity center?

We don't know what if we're a big gusher, what if we're filled with cheese?

We'll be cool, we'll be cool. Um, okay, good one. These are all very good.

I was like that with baseball, too. Yeah, that was, that was my career, I was going to be a baseball player.

Or I was like, I'll be a baseball player, if not, I'll just do basketball. I had a really depressing conversation with Titus the other day because it dawned on me that, uh, like all of us sitting in this room. Max, maybe cause he played college ball.

Yeah, mine was much later.

Yeah, later, like my my realization I wasn't going to the N.B.A. was like, like, maybe 10 years old. Like, when you look around and you're like, Oh, I'm the fifth best player on my team and there's how many teams?

There's probably a piece of him that going into college was like, Well, maybe, yeah, maybe if I work hard enough, yeah.

But like me, Mike Conley, Greg Oden, we're all going to be in the N.B.A. together, he said. He was six, four when he was in eighth grade and he never grew again, so it's like it kind of fucked him. But I, yeah, like, normal kids, I think they all have the same thing where you know they're eight, nine, 10..

That's how you thought babies were made.

It's a great one, yeah, that's a great one. Like, whether you say sex or other kissing, that's.

I was like, Oh, they're naked kissing.

That means sex, yeah.

Because you would watch a movie and they would, whatever.

Yes.

Yes, they French kissed, that's a good one.

And then I will go with, If you fell through a cloud, you'd come out soaking wet. That's not true, no.

Are you sure?

I don't, I don't know, I feel like that picture didn't count.

Like, what if it's raining?

I feel like, is that not true? Like I always thought that if you fell through a cloud same, then all the water would just fall same.

Oh, you thought that you would pierce the cloud and then the cloud?

Oh, like a water balloon.

Okay, yeah.

You're basically falling through a water balloon and it would pop.

Yeah, but I think that.

I still think that's true. No, because if you fly through clouds, the plane doesn't come out wet. Are you sure? yeah.

Sometimes, right?

Yeah, only if you're underneath.

Well, if you run, if you run through fog, like really dense fog, you get moist, right?

I was thinking, I was like, my thing was the water. I just thought of another one, if you went skydiving and fell through a cloud, that it would just pop.

The entire cloud would explode.

And then water would just fall everywhere.

Yeah.

I just literally just triggered that.

You're going to be safe, yeah.

That's not, that's, that's true.

No, I just looked it up.

It's not true, that's what I'm saying. I thought that as a kid, I haven't thought about it for a long time. But I was like, I got to double check because, wait, is it true?

It's not, it's not you would die, yeah, Rip great grandpa.

That's my pick. I. Well, he was underneath, Oh yeah.

Yeah, it fell in there.

Yeah, got to ask provocation.

What was he doing? what was he doing at the bottom of that elevator?

The fuck was he doing under that elevator? yeah.

One place you don't want to be.

I definitely thought that maybe a little bit of thought that till now, um, just kind of like, I still think you're wrong about the cloud thing. Uh, but this is good. We're learning, learning today.

Okay, um, this is tough. There's a lot of good ones on the board right now. I used to be.

Oh, we're all, yeah.

Very, very dumb.

These are very personal.

Yeah, they're very personal, yeah.

Okay, uh, I used to think that when you'd watch a rerun of a show on TV, that it was an all new taping of the exact same script.

Ooh, that's good.

So I thought that I thought that like, I'd be watching Saved by the Bell and then like live music.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly, they're doing the same song, but they're just taping it again for us and broadcasting live. Very dumb. yeah, very dumb.

Yeah, September 1997. Fresh Prince is the best one, very good, very good.

What's your favorite version of the September 1997?

Max.

Um, if you eat a watermelon seed, it'll grow in your stomach, yeah.

Uh, huh, yeah, that one again, that's that's definitely in the list of. I don't know. I'm not a hundred percent sure on that one.

Yep, and I, I like, remember this as a kid, one time searching for this, that there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Yep.

Yeah.

So you'll look for it. You ask your parents to drive towards the end of the rainbow, yeah.

Yeah, that's good, that's good. Okay, PFT, back to you.

I'm going to say, Um, I used to think that they sold marijuana and cocaine that drug stores, so we'd be driving past. You were never a drug guy. No, we'd be driving past the store and I'd be like, Dad, why? why do they sell drugs at that store?

Yeah, create them.

It's the drugs that, yeah, that will be illegal soon. That's what they sell there.

Yeah, um, okay, good pick. I have one that's a little bit older than just kid. uh, it's more teenage, but, uh, again, I think it's relatable.

Yeah, I thought that my mom had no idea that. I threw up three times in my room one night. And she came in the next day. And she was talking about how it smelled like cologne, yeah, and I was like, I re, yep, she bought it.

She thinks it's the cologne, reeking like weed and being like, Damn, I'm suave. They had no idea. Get some old spice on this thing. Good hank, I'm sure you had it.

What you learn is that your parents just don't want to deal with it.

Yeah, they just want you to get home safe, yeah.

That's it, you're home. I don't want to make a thing.

It was as long as I never got caught in the act. I got caught like throwing up a couple of times. That was always a big problem. I would always try and make an excuse and say it was somebody else.

Yeah, someone else's weed.

Literally the only person there.

Someone else's beer.

Yeah, one time my parents found a empty case of natural light in my room and I just stared at it. And I tried to think of a lie. And after about like five seconds, I just looked at him, I was like, I got, I got nothing, yeah.

Yeah, you just. I just blame it on a friend. And they'd be like, Why are you carrying these beers? Oh, it's someone else's what?

That's what Michael Irvin did with the cops. He was like, This isn't, it's not my pipe. I'm holding it for a friend who recently asked me to help him quit smoking. Yeah, so I took it from him and then I put it under my seat.

I got caught with a fan in the kitchen one time because I was smoking weed. And I like, coughed. And I was like, I think if I fan out the air, where I just coughed out the window, it'll be it'll be fine. And then my parents were like, why is there a fan in the kitchen? And then I just was so high, I just looked at them.

I was like, the worst, the worst one I got was I got caught with. Um, the I don't know if you guys used to do this back in the day. The uh, paper towel roll sploof, Oh yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not even talking about you, are you talking about, like the dryer sheets? I'm talking about making a bowl out of the paper towel, but I would I do? The top little tin foil punch the holes into the tin foil. And then you put your hand over it, you smoke it, and then you let your hand off.

Did they have any idea?

It's like, No, it's a science project or some shit.

I was an Apple guy.

You're an apple guy.

Apple Guy.

We used to go to the store.

Can you can soda can?

Like, crunch it up, yeah. We used to go to the store. We would buy, um, like a 20 ounce plastic bottle, um, some Bic ballpoint pens, and then, uh, Nestle crunch bar. Because it had tin foil on it, yeah.

Someone told me that Bible, Bible paper you could smoke.

That's crazy, that's crazy.

We should make a gravity ball.

No, that's the worst feeling in the world.

Old school, we should make it. Oh yeah, after a gravity ball.

There's no worse feeling than being so high after a gravity ball.

And there's nothing you could do about it. It's like panic.

It's panic.

We could turn the bed of my El Camino into a giant gravity ball.

I'm down, be sick, a bathtub gravity ball.

That's what it was when I got caught with a fan. Here's what we do.

We fill up the El Camino with water, like one of those Philly dumpsters that they hang out in. And then we get like a giant recycling bin and we put a hole in the top of it. I love it, press it down, biggest hits out of it.

We used to hide, obviously, vodka and water bottles, and that's how we could bring it in and out of the house. And one time, my mom replaced the booze with laundry detergent or something like dish soap, like clear dish soap. And I drank the whole thing. And I legit burped a bubble and was like, I think.

That was great, a little tangible.

Yeah, that's why I thought this would be a fun one.

I think an awl sent me this one, so shout out that guy. The Mount Rushmore topic I can't remember, I'm pretty sure, so I apologize.

Wait where it says, like, blind.

Blind drive.

What about Blind?

Oh yeah, that's not.

I'm thinking a blind pedestrian crossing means that there is a blind person, but blind drive means that you just can't see the driver, yeah.

I always thought that meant that a blind person lives there and they drive there. All right, I have one more, this one's very dominant. It comes from something you're told as a kid.

That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one. This is my last pick. Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

I thought, if you were grown up, yeah, you knew what was going on.

They kind of lie to you.

You understood it, yeah, and then you grow up and you're like, we're all done. No, we're all really fucking dumb, yeah.

Yeah, you don't know what you don't know.

I was probably smarter when I was a kid than I am now.

I was definitely more intellectually curious.

Yeah.

I was definitely asked better questions.

Yep.

And, like, had a more a mind that was like trying to figure things out instead of just being like, Oh, that's what it is.

Yeah, but if an adult said something, it's like, Yeah, no, they're right, they're an adult, yeah.

Because most grownups either are bullshit, like they'll, they'll. They'll answer something just because they don't want to be wrong with little kid. Or they just say it is what it is.

Or, yeah, or they're very confident and not smart at all.

Yeah, those are the ones you want to watch out for. I need a new, I need a new fact, because, uh, like my kids always say, when I. When I tell them plans, I try to tell them the plan so they know what's coming and they'll be like, we know that already. So then I was like, Well, how about this? did you know?

Another fun, like an animal fact or anything in general.

That's the extent of my knowledge.

You can always go.

I don't have anything that I'm confident.

Did you know that Detroit's further east than Atlanta?

Yeah, okay, that one's good, yeah. Human head weights eight pounds.

McGuire going to okay.

All right, Max, your last one.

Um teachers lived at school.

Yeah, good pick.

Great one, also, big guy you can go with. Did you know that Clay Thompson's last game with the Warriors, he went over 10? Yeah, true.

Also, nothing worse than when you the once a year you called your teacher mom.

Yeah, I thought about that, I thought about, I thought of teacher lived at school. I thought about that as well, and I was like, I don't know how to do that.

All right, what other ones I had? Um, I thought, cause this is like when technology was, you know, before the internet and everything. I thought my game boy controlled the airplane. Yeah, that's why they told you to turn it off.

You max out.

Like, when you get a million dollars, you're set for life.

When? yeah.

Nothing else like no one will ever. You're just you retire. if you have a million dollars. boom, you're done. you retire at the age of seven.

Uh, I thought that, um, I thought I was an elf when I was a kid. I thought I cause I had pointy ears. I saw myself in the mirror one time, I was like, Fuck small.

That's tough. I used to think you actually won the money. Uh, when you get a pop-up on your computer, yeah.

Yeah, scams.

Yep, I also, I also, in that same vein, thought there was no correlation between what I was downloading on Limewire and my computer's crashing. Yep.

Yep, oh, I mean, yeah, you could have, you could have a long conversation about songs that you thought were other band songs.

Yeah.

I thought dispatch wrote, Crazy game of poker.

Oh, I mean, every 50 cent song was a soldier boy. every song was soldier boy.

The only reason that kids had glasses was because they didn't eat enough carrots.

Yes, carrots are big times. The night vision. Yeah, I thought I could get night vision if I had enough carrots.

Also off of vision, Uh, if you sit, if you sit too close to the TV, you'll go blind.

Oh, the other one, the uh, if, if you, if someone slaps you in the in the back. When you're making a face, you're stuck with that face for the rest of your life. Mm-hmm. That was a big one.

Uh, if you take a shower during a lightning storm, you'll get electrocuted.

Yep, I thought chocolate milk came from brown cows, okay?

Until I was like, 17.

Until you're 17.

I, I knew that was artificial.

Okay, but I, I, I just. I thought the brown was in the cow, you know, and it got mixed. I don't know, okay.

I I used to think I was going to be six feet tall, because sometimes you go to a doctor and they're like, Okay, you're, you're projected to grow this tall, thought it'd be six feet tall. I used to think OJ was innocent, I swore, OJ was innocent, up and down.

Um, I when? When video games like first started getting good, like, so this is, when did PlayStation come out? PlayStation was like late Nineties, right? I thought that, um, I, I would cause like my. My parents were like, can't play video games during the week. I thought that I was pulling it off when, like, my mom would walk in the room. And I was playing like 2K or Madden, and I was like, it's not a video game.

I'm watching sports, yeah.

I thought the graphics were so good and they were so bad. Looking back at it, yeah, I was just like, Yeah, I got this. She has no idea that these aren't real games.