"John Goodman"

Hi, I'm John Goodman, grizzled show business veteran, and you're listening to Smart Less.

I was almost still just a little bit late today because I may have just had, like one of my one of my first sessions, definitely first half dozen can't count them. on one hand, the amount of times I've gone on Instagram that you guys are familiar with this.

Yes, I've heard of this.

Oh, my God, this is so true. You describing Instagram.

So, yes. So I'm looking, watching a video on it, right? A small, it's a small and funny, funny stuff is happening. People are falling and hurting themselves and and then I have my thumb accidentally hits screen and it disappears, goes up and there's another one right underneath it. That's right.

And you don't usually go on there.

I suppose. What is it?

You don't usually go. What is it?

Can I, can I just, is this, was that just you? Was that just you describing using Instagram?

Yeah. I think so. You know what I'm talking about? You've been there.

So you really don't.

We're not alone.

You don't usually go on there. Jason.

No, but I get it now. Pete, you can sit there, and I did what I thought was going to be five minutes, and all of a sudden my alarm went off. to get to the computer. to start this. I was like, Oh fuck.

It's the demise of our whole institution.

It's everything. Now Sean and I send each other videos that we think are funny.

Yes. Yes.

And it's really easy to do. And that's a funny way to communicate as well.

Oh, so, if I see something on Instagram that I like, I could sort of like, send that to you.

There's like a little, there's a little thing. I can click. Icon there and you can hit it. And then, if you're, if we're all following each other, you can send it to one of us, and then we go like, ha ha, that's so funny, cause it's true, or whatever.

Right. Or, yeah. Or saw it. Thanks, old man. Yeah.

Exactly. Wait, so now we can send you videos and you'll actually watch them?

Yes. I think I will. I might not. Oh, but you know, what? I don't do is if you send me a video that when I click on it, says, oh, the person whose video this is, we'll know that you are watching it.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows what you're looking at, unless you like it.

No. Like when, when Amanda sends me something and, and, and I've, I got to click, I have to say that it's, they're going to see that it's me.

That's just a phone call.

Oh yeah. I don't know. But this is, listen, this stuff, this is, and it's all here on one of these. You guys have one of these phones. This is, uh, with the pictures on the front of it, this is the beginning of the end, because I just got rid of the one that closes, you know, those, it kind of looks like a Pacman.

Yeah.

By the way, this is our, this is our generation equivalent of when our dads used to say, I saw this thing in the paper today or on the TV. Right.

Wait, I, that was a picture of maple, and, uh, I saw her for her birthday, maple last.

night.

Yeah.

She just turned 12.. I know. I love her.

Scottie and I got her some beads that she can wear on her wrist and we got our little leather bound thing that she can draw on, cause she's such a good drawer.

She's incredible.

She's amazing. She's amazing.

And, and an incredible athlete.

Yes. Amazing.

She's so good. She's been kicking ass. They beat, they beat another big team. You know that you were there at the game. She told me who they beat the other night.

No, I know. It's crazy. Did I already bore you guys?

It was the Boston Celtics.

It was the Boston Celtics. Um, yeah. So she's in sixth grade and she plays on the boys team. cause she's such bad-ass. It's the first time in the history of the school that a girl's ever played on the boys team.

It's so rad.

I know. I, just, I love her.

It's so wild, Jason. It's nighttime. It's seven o'clock. Are you, you're getting sleepy or?

Just about, uh, you know, had a long day of work, but now, but this is, this is the highlight of my day. Look at you two. You know, please don't, don't fuck it up with a shit, guest, Arnett.

You know what?

If this is a terrible, let's just end it here.

I can't wait. I'm so glad. I can't wait for you to eat this shit. You're eating these words. You're, you're moments away from eating.

You're going to be, you're going to bow down to the power of this dude, because.

Want one of these first?

A dad joke?

Too long already.

I can't find my gone in 60 seconds DVD. It was here a minute ago.

Okay. All right.

So here we go.

We've, we've, we've wasted this person's time and he, he, deserves so much more respect than that.

Well, we'll see.

And, and Jason, I am so sad because this is a guy who's been doing it for a long time at the highest level. He's been nominated for, I think he's won an Emmy nominated for seven times, golden globe nominated four times. Like every, he's been just nominated and won everything.

We just apologize. now. I'll just start with an apology.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cause you're going to eat shit. But more than that, cause I don't even want to get into his credits, cause they're all the greatest, funniest, amazing movies. Not just funny, but also, but dramatic, but like really just for me, such a huge influence on my life. And you guys know, because I have, on the show, used them consistently as the gold standard.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Mr. Goodman.

Hiya fellas. Oh no. I can't follow that.

Johnny Goodman. Well done.

Mr. John Goodman.

By the way, every word he just said is true. Every single thing you've ever done is phenomenal. I agree. Every performance. There's not a dud in them.

He does reference you quite a bit as the bar to jump over.

It is true. John, at risk of embarrassing you further, what a pleasure to meet you, and thank you for coming in. And doing this and joining us.

My pleasure. Thank you. It's America's favorite podcast. Thank you for welcoming me into your pod.

This is cool.

Well, I, I do, I do use that. You often, and I'm sorry, I, again, at risk of embarrassing you, as the, the sort of the, the gold standard of someone who's always good and never turns in a bad performance. Um, and I've been such a fan of yours for such a long time and you've done so many different things and you've crossed. You've done comedy in, you know, you've done sitcoms, multiple, really fantastic sitcoms, like the old school standard, like, like multicams, like with an audience that is just, and to do that, pull it off. well, sorry, Sean, uh, to pull it off, well, uh, test job in the world, the best job in the world.

Oh, here comes Sean.

This is where Will and I just sit back.

So I want to hear about how, what that start was like for you, Mr. Goodman, because I don't know the story and how you got in, what, what, that, what your journey was.

I had nowhere else to go.

Excellent. Next question.

I, uh, no, I, uh, sabotaged my own education. The only time I got lit up was doing plays, and I decided to make that my major. So I was inches from being thrown out of school, uh, and everything took off after that. And as soon as I found out how wonderful it can be, uh, then I started to want to learn,

Oh, wow. So that you could stay in school and stay a part of the theater department.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

That's pretty cool.

So where, where was that?

Where was that that you, so, you were in school, were you, were you in Missouri? Is that right?

It was called Southwest Missouri State University. Now it's called Missouri State University.

But then you moved to New York. Is that true? Is that how that is?

True. That took the Amtrak from St. Louis to New York in August of 1975..

Holy shit. And did you have, did you have a destiny other than the city? Were you like, I'm going to go, do this. I'm going to, or were you just like, I'm just, I'm rolling the dice here.

I was a frightened hick. Uh, the main thing I wanted to do was take classes with Uta Hagen and get into the actor's studio and, uh, learn some more.

And did you, did you get in there?

I did not. I left about a month and a half later doing a dinner theater, non-equity dinner theater version of 1776..

What dinner theater?

The La Comedia Dinner Playhouse in Springboro, Ohio.

I worked at Pheasant Run Dinner Theater in St. Charles, Illinois.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Which I just found out, um, Ben Stiller's parents did summer stock there.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Yeah. Summer chicken stock. I guess. Yeah.

There we go. Hey guys. So dinner theater is what it sounds like. Correct? You sit there.

How dare they make noise? Yeah. Well, I was just going to say- Oh, you got the glasses clanking and the forks and everything. Fucking- People getting lit. Yeah.

Getting lit and, and, and whistling the waiter over because the shit's not right, and, uh,

oh. And they put, they put the tables right up to the edge of the stage. So then-.

going.

It was so ridiculous. That's where it got.

Just living your dream with a bunch of pasta sauce in your pants, huh?

This is my buddy, Hackett, bro.

I mean, and was there ever a time where you're on stage and you're like, oh man, this smells pretty good down there. I need to get a private-.

Well, I, uh, I couldn't get hired for their next shows, but my girlfriend did. So I went down there, uh, just to get out of New York and work as a waiter in the dinner theater. Wow. That's amazing. Uh, for the summer.

Wow.

So, so wait, I, sorry, Sean. So I, New York was a total wipeout. And so you-.

Not at all. I just, uh, I left, uh, it was a horrible winter and I was broke. and, uh, I couldn't, I couldn't get arrested as a, as a waiter or anything else. I got one night's work as a bouncer in a club called the Adam's Apple. And they had this German head bouncer who was telling us how to rip guys' mouths open when you got their head down on the curve, and then you, you stomp the back of their head and their teeth come out.

So then, where did you go at that hour?

That's the only job I had in the city.

So then, so then, so what does, then? it does sound like New York was kind of, it wasn't really bearing a lot of fruit that-.

Well, it was also at the, at the time, it was, uh, Ford, the city dropped dead. Uh, they were defaulting on, on their loans. Uh, the city was just going to hell. Um, the subways were terrifying, you know, the graffiti, all this stuff. Yeah.

Right. But did you, so you, so you left for a little bit, went to Ohio, and then you came back to.

New York? Yeah, I came back and then I got my card about like a month after that.

Your equity card or a SAG card?

Yeah, my equity card doing a bus and truck of the robber bridegroom.

Oh my God. That is so...

And so how old were you? You were about 20?.

What, 20?? Yeah, 23,, 24..

Any other options available to you at that, at that moment, uh, either practically or just sort of emotionally, like were you attracted to anything else? Could you have taken a fork in the road and been something else at that, at that moment?

No. I had, uh, the way I look back on it now, it unfolds itself like it was a calling. Yeah. I mean, I used to get kicked out of, uh, when I get kicked out of a class, they'd send me to the library and I would sit there and read plays and I'm, like, you know, 14, 15 years old. I have no idea why.

Was anybody in your family doing that? Like was it?

No. No. My brother, uh, my brother, was a fan of theater. He was, he's a bit older than me and we'd go into Clayton, Missouri and pick up the New York times every Sunday, literally, you know, weighed a ton back then. And I would go to the arts and leisures and basically to look at the Hirschfield cartoons.

You just enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah.

Why, why were you, why were you getting kicked out of class? Were you just running your mouth and you wanted to perform and get attention?

I had to have attention. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I, uh, learning was, learning bad, attention, good.

Yeah. I had the same problem. So then John, so the, uh, so then New York, you stuck it out there and things really started to pick up traction. or was, or, or was the big break out in Los Angeles or somewhere in between?

I had a series of little breaks. I, uh, when I got back from the tour, I have one time I had a bunch of pictures, you know, resumes stapled them all together and in desperation I was sending them out to theaters. One guy at great advertising picked up my, my picture, called me and I got the gig and he set me up with a commercial agents and then I couldn't not get them. for some reason. I just, I've been goofing off, I've been goofing on them my whole life.

Uh, well, it's also kind of like the, like. I speak on behalf of the four of us. If you can't do anything else, you have to make this work.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

You gotta pay the bills at least.

Yeah.

So by that time I was hanging out with a lot of like real, real actors at a place up on the West side and I got to hate myself for doing commercial. I was all screwed up and I was really getting into drinking at the time and I, I, I resented doing commercials cause other guys were doing what I thought was real work. Right.

Right, right, right.

And I got a lot of them.

And in defense of commercials, I do like commercials, I think Stanley Kubrick said they're the only form of the medium where you can actually acquire perfection, cause they're just 30 seconds and they're like, they're very intricately made nowadays, especially lighting alone man.

would take forever to set up and it had to be just right and the product just right.

And we will be right back.

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All right, back to the show.

John, you had what Jason ... You were getting so many, what Jason likes to call, you had at that time, it seems to me, you had a sexy indifference. You didn't care. You didn't go in there. You didn't want it too bad, and then you just kept getting him.

I'm an artist.

Yeah. And then all of a sudden, I'm so broken. I'm like, fuck, let me, ... I'll read for anything, please, you know what I mean?

Right. You know what, though? Roseanne was so theater. It was ... A lot of sitcoms don't feel like theater, and a lot of them do, which is what they should feel like.

That's a good point. Yeah.

It was different for the time, because the antidote to a lot of things like Dallas and and all these rich folk things, and I think we hit a nerve. I know my nerves were beat.

Does it go that far back? When was the? ... What was the year of the pilot?

1987, I think, the pilot. Oh, shit. Wow.

I think I graduated or tried to graduate high school that year.

I wanted to get to Roseanne, because I really think ... I mean, when you guys were doing it at its best, it was just unrivaled. I watched it every week. I was such a massive fan of what you guys did, all the work, the writing, everything about it, I thought was so good. How did that come into your orbit, John, at the time?

I was out here for something.

In LA?

Yeah. It was either a movie or a commercial, and I got hip and rented a Corvette.

Did you want that gig? Yeah. Where were you in your career at that point?

I was living out of suitcases all the time, because I was just starting to get films. Like starting in 1985, I was a book on a lot of movies.

That was after Revenge of the Nerds.

Yeah. That was shot in 83..

When did you start your incredible collaboration with the Coen Brothers? Was that during the run of Roseanne, or was it after?

No, it was before. It was in 1985.. Oh, wow. I just got a lead in a film that David Byrne directed.

Really?

Yeah. It was called True Stories. It's really interesting looking.

Oh, yeah.

I want to see that. I was just really getting. ... I'd show up. I'd go to dailies, because I wanted to.

When you were working with the Coens? Or with David Byrne? No.

It was before that, with David Byrne. I was really getting into films. I wasn't as scared as I was. I got called. I was in New York on a week off or something.

I bet you felt like you got it.

No. I didn't know, but I'd never heard of it.

You were in an office for an hour. You got to feel like you got something.

I never had a more fun audition before or since. We just sat and goofed around.

Yeah. They are. No kidding.

I can't imagine. ... Well, yes, I can't imagine. I was going to say, did they let you contribute once you got in there and really started? I mean, that character is so specific, John.

I wouldn't know how to augment any better than they wrote it. We had rehearsal time on Lebowski, so by the time we shot, we were in pretty good shape with the dialogue. That's why a lot of people asked me if it was improvised.

It's just so conversational.

Because we were facile with it.

What was that process like making that? I mean, the big Lebowski obviously is held up as one of the all-time greats.

One of my faves.

It was just lovely. Man, it's just a great time, great hang.

Do you remember reading that script the first time?

Yeah. Did you know Steve and Jeff beforehand, or was the chemistry just great luck?

Great luck.

Yeah.

Isn't that wild? Kismet, man. Yeah. And everybody hit it off.

So you read that, they send you that script, and you're like, what? You're like, holy shit.

Did they write it for you? I'll bet they did.

Oh, Lebowski, yeah. Yeah. That, and Barton Fink. Yeah. And the last one I did for him.

Which was the last one?

Inside Llewyn Davis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Beautiful movie.

A little bit more of a serious turn.

Yeah. Yeah. It was cool.

Yeah. Talk about that. I mean, think about the breadth of characters that you played with them at the helm as writer and directors, and all with such different tones, too. What is that shift like, that dynamic, working with them on films that have such a hugely, vastly different tone to them?

Yeah, they're such film fans and magpies for popular culture. They'll just throw in everything, and it works. They've got great ears for people's dialogue, for human speech.

Will worked with Barry Sonnenfeld.

I was about to bring up Barry. So I was there. Barry, I'm...

I love Barry.

I'm friends with... Yeah, we've had him on the show, and I've been friends with Barry for a number of years, and I worked with him a couple of times. And he's... You obviously worked with him on a bunch of great films, Jay, you mentioned. And also very different.

Oh, Blood Simple.

Yeah, Blood Simple.

Blood Simple was the first, yeah.

And he claims that they hired him because he had a camera.

Oh, man.

Full stop. Yeah, I believe that. But back then, they were broke, and they would just know what they wanted, and they'd invent ways to do it. Like these guys from the 20s, they just, if they had a problem, they'd solve it and strap a camera on a board and run with it.

And just... Did you see that progression? Have you seen that evolution, because you've been with them for so long, and they might say the same about you. The evolution of them as filmmakers, from Raising Arizona to Luendale, I mean, it must be pretty significant.

Yeah. More of a shortcut than anything else. The more experience they get, the easier it gets.

The less they need to say. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. John, moving forward in your career, in your life, do you still have the fire in your belly that you had when you were a kid to just kind of pursue, keep going, challenging yourself?

It's much different now.

Yeah? In what way?

Because I feel like I'm still learning. The last couple of years have been goofy for me, because I've been trying to be good. And it doesn't work that way. You know, like planning things way too much. And at the root of that was the fear of losing trust in myself.

Yeah. How did you manage to come out of that?

Practically having a nervous breakdown. No, it was bad with everything. And it just finally, yeah, it just purged out of me when I went to the therapist one day. And then for the rest of the day, it was horrible. Nothing worked.

Do you find that? I'm finding that the older I get, the smarter I get, the smarter we all get. But with the added intelligence or observational skills comes the burden of trying to manage all of the new stuff that you're absorbing and learning. Yeah.

There's something brilliant about staying ignorant. Yeah.

It just keeps complicating stuff and making things more dynamic and more fun. But it's more of a challenge and you've got to keep up.

You have to be ready to listen to yourself. You have to be relaxed. For me, that was the key. I already know this stuff. And that's the one thing I didn't trust myself about.

Yeah. Yeah. Did it start to feel like maybe you weren't doing anything? And then you realized, well, that's because I'm just natural at it and I do know all this stuff. And I've just found sometimes, if I'm so comfortable in a character, I can sometimes feel like, oh, I'm just kind of phoning this in.

That's what it is. Just play. Yeah. And listening.

Do you find, as you're changing as a person, that it changes the kinds of roles that you look to do, since what we do is kind of an exercise in personal exploration we happen to get paid for?

I don't know. I've been doing the same role for the last, same two roles for the last four or five years.

Yeah.

And I haven't really had much of a chance to do everything else.

Because you've been doing the Conners. You're talking about the Conners.

The Conners and the Righteous Gemstones.

Yeah. It's also, John, it's also wild to hear you talk about whatever, whether I've read about stuff that you've been struggling with and you're so nice to be open about your journey, just being more comfortable in your own skin and getting to know yourself, as Jason said, as we get older, that it's always so surprising and it's never not surprising to look at you, somebody I've always admired, and it's like, wow, that's such a cool career. I'd love to have his career. Like amazing actor, everything he does to hear somebody like you speak publicly about whatever your issue is, whatever you're going through, is really kind of eyeopening, because from over here, it's like, oh, he's got this career of a lifetime. And it's, it's always so surprising and it shouldn't be.

And it's also so helpful to me because I, I, I, I, the same, same goes for me as far as my, my admiration for you. But it like makes me feel a lot better about all the human feelings I have that are sometimes challenging. It's like, I don't, you know, it's, it's, it's silly that we all need a reminder that everybody's human, but it is, it's really nice to hear.

So thank you for sharing. My pleasure. It's just kind of to help myself and maybe help somebody else, but yeah, it's when I, I've been clean about 16 years now and the last 16 years I've had to grow a lot into my normal age and it's, it's been, it's been a lot, but I'm glad I did it.

Oh, that's great.

John, you know, the, the last time I saw you, I was going to say this when you first popped on in the show today, but the last time I saw you was Saturday Night Live, when I hosted in 2001. at the after party, you came, everybody was partying and you walked in and pulled your pants down and walk all the way across the entire room and everybody was dying laughing. I was like, is that John Goodman with his pants down?

I don't remember that.

That's longer than 16 years ago.

I'm cursed with a bad memory like that. I will remember stuff like that, but this one, yeah, no, believe me, 300 people that.

were there, remember it.

Oh, my God.

You were so good on that show too.

There's going to be a lot of stuff missing from your autobiography. because of your ability to recall some of this stuff. I get the same problem.

I get to pad it with blank pages. Draw your own conclusions. And Cliffy the Clown.

We'll be right back.

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And now, back to the show.

I remember seeing you on SNL. It was, I think, Amy, my ex-wife's first year on the show, and you hosted, and I just stayed very far away. I remember seeing you at the after party, and I'm like, oh, my God.

Yeah.

I hit it off with her from jump.

Yeah.

Yeah. It just, her and Seth wrote a bit, and we did it. I thought it was a brilliant bit, but I just, you know, I really dug her.

Yeah. She's cool.

It made me feel welcome.

Well, you, yeah. Yeah. And you were so, you were so good. You had such a facility for that. You could have been an all-time great cast member, for sure.

Yeah. I don't know how to do improv, but- No, but you don't need to. I auditioned for it in 1980, when everybody quit, and they put the new cast on.

No way. Did you really?

Yeah. You know who got it? Laurie Metcalf. Oh, wow. Got your spot.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know that.

Oh, it was horrible. It was open calls, and they had guys walking around in Blues Brothers costumes, like, oof, by the score. It was- No way. A hideous dream.

No way.

Desperation. Flop sweat.

Oh, fuck, man.

So, would that have been a job that you would have really, really loved, being a part of.

that cast? That was my, that used to be my favorite thing to do every year. Yeah. I'd get so goddamn scared and just hit the door and walk onto the floor. It was great, man.

For sure.

Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

It was a big deal.

Who were your big kind of idols when you were a kid, when you went to get an acting or comedy or anything? Who were you like?

Well, I'm almost ashamed to say Brando.

Why? That's great.

Yeah, no, a lot of people my age will say that. It just, never seen anything like him. Yeah. And I didn't really pay that much attention to movies. I liked them.

What was the thing that was distractingly different about him, per the style that was around right then?

He looked like he was making it up.

Right.

And it's this big hit. in 1950, 51, looked more like an incredibly good-looking guy that walked off the street.

Right. And his style was much more sort of-.

It was presentational.

Broad. Yeah, presentational back before that, right? It was a much bigger thing.

It's a style.

He and Montgomery Clift and all those guys, right? Yeah.

He got more naturalistic.

Montgomery Clift was another icebreaker.

He was one of my idols too, even though he's a little before my time. He was one of the guys I loved him. fucking placing this on.

Yeah, you're pretty old, Will.

Yeah, I am pretty old.

Yeah, I think people are sliding. The kids today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But did you want to get into comedy? Were you like, okay, I'm going to be, I think that I have a, I'm quite adept at comedy. Comedy? Did you know that? Was that something that you were like?

I was good at comedy, uh, in the classroom and when I thought it was still cute to mug. Right. Um, yeah. No, it, it, it has to be next to necessarily really structured, uh, comedy play as opposed, like improv, but there are rules there too, and it has its own structure and it, it can be terribly hard. But when it's easy, man, it plies and there's nothing like it.

Um, I have to, John, a lot of the times on this show, uh, I thought someone was going.

to say, I have to go. guys, I'm going right now.

No, I haven't. Wait a minute.

I am presently going.

Yeah. It's warm.

No, I have to ask if you have any tragic theater stories like mine falling on the table at the dinner tale only because I love them, because they're so shocking to me.

The worst thing that ever happened to me was in, uh, well, two things happened in this show. I was doing a musical in 1985 on Broadway and, uh, I was doing it for a while.

Which one do you remember?

Yeah. Big River. And I was supposed to come out and surprise my son, Huckleberry Finn. And before I was standing behind this flat waiting to go on and I couldn't remember my first line, and I panicked and I panicked and I just wouldn't come. And I was, the cue was there and I was going to step out and say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

Wait, did the line pop in your head once you stepped onto stage or before?

Yeah. As soon as I opened my mouth.

Isn't that amazing? Oh God.

Isn't it amazing how that happened?

Yeah. Yeah. And it's wild.

It's wild. I don't know why it happened.

No way.

Wow. You didn't have a broken jaw, did you?

No. No, but it was touch and go for about five days there when I didn't show up.

Understood. He started getting stretched out.

Yeah. Let him have it for a while.

The performance is after. You just took like 10 feet, a step 10 feet away. No, but I understand that thing about the line. I was doing Hairspray Live on NBC. This is like five years ago, eight years ago, I remember.

Oh, my God.

I think I may have entered too early. All in the span of half of a second.

Oh yeah, you could put a whole dictionary in that half a second.

Totally. So. I'm sitting there and I turned to him and I mouthed the first line instead of singing it. And it looks like the sound was cut out. And so.

That's perfect. A bit of a technical glitch at the top of my number.

What a fucking disaster.

It was a disaster. It was a panic inside. It was so unbelievable that then I started singing the second line. It was just awful. It was awful.

I can't wait to see that. How did it turn out?

We also had, I think, the first or second preview of the front page did about five or six years ago. And there were guys that came in, sat in the front row, put their drinks on the stage and their feet up there. And then one guy got up and started going, I love you, John Goodman. I love you, John Goodman. I love.

Just drunk.

That was a little frightening.

No kidding.

There was two. There's two girls who can't do the show called An Act of God. And there's these two girls that were bombed out of it.

No, I don't think so. This time.

Yeah. No, I saw it. I saw it at the Amundsen.

Oh, that's right. They were bombed out of their minds. And from the second I walked out, they were screaming like, oh, my God, I love you. In front of everybody. Everybody was crying.

Wait, wasn't this the one man show?

Yes, this is a one man show.

So you walked off the stage.

Walked off stage. Left, stage empty. Left stage. Yeah, left the stage empty. The security guards came down, removed them.

It's getting worse too.

It is getting worse.

It is getting worse.

Oh, man. John Goodman, we have taken up way too much of your time, man. Just honestly, from afar, from very afar. Just been such an admirer and just a complete fan of yours.

I'm a huge fan of you guys as well.

I really, really appreciate you hanging out with us for an hour.

I was terrified at the beginning of this. Oh, man. Really? You guys are so good.

Again, that just makes us feel incredible that we're even on your radar. I know.

We're just ding-dongs.

Ding-dongs with a Wi-Fi connection.

Jason's in New York, with a Wi-Fi connection in a rented apartment. He's just starting a job. Sean's in Hancock Park. facing away from his TV. I can hear somebody vacuuming above me.

So thank you for doing that.

The great John Goodman. Thank you, my friend. What an honor.

Thank you. Thanks for the invite, man. It's been wonderful. Anytime. Thank you.

Thanks, pal. That was fantastic.

Thank you, John, very much.

Adios.

That was John Goodman.

That's, John Goodman. The great thing. The gold standard, as I said.

The gold standard. And maybe the best, most classical name in the history of all names. I wonder, what is his middle name? Is it equally classic and American? Let's look it up.

Something like that. Stephen, actually. I think it's Stephen.

Yeah, there you go. That works.

Is it really? John Stephen Goodman.

That was a fantastic. get there, Will. I set myself up for that. And got a real beat down.

He's just...

How about? he's killing it on the Connors, too? Isn't the Connors still running like...

We didn't even get a chance. I want to get... So he does the Roseanne.

He's doing two television series.

Well, they do it like 12 years. Roseanne's, like 263 episodes or something, right? And then he goes... And now they've done almost 100 episodes of the Connors.

Unbelievable.

Yeah. And in that time, he's made like 10 movies with the Coen brothers, amongst others, you know. And he's just been in... Like, the guy's, just done it all. I'm not going to cry.

It's just gas, America.

Yeah, but to be him and to sustain all that through all... I don't know. Whatever. It just means you're great.

Yeah, he's just got it.

He is great. And he has been great for his whole career. And has stayed employed his whole career.

I guarantee you this. I bet you, if you go back and you find some of those early commercials, you watch them and you're like, this guy's great.

Absolutely.

By the way, I have seen those early commercials. When he's really young. I think it was like a burger commercial or something. And you're like, oh, yeah, that guy's great.

And he's great, right?

But Revenge of the Nerds was like one of the first four or five things he did. And he was like, you watch that movie and you go, oh, you feel like that guy had been around forever.

Exactly. He feels iconic. He feels iconic, and it's one of his first films. And you're like, oh, that's John Goodman.

I don't know why. I remember the one line from Roseanne. I don't know why I remember this. They were on vacation and they got in an argument and they were like in the Bahamas or something. And Roseanne goes, you know what, Dan?

That's a great line. That was produced by the great Tom Warner.

And produced by the great Tom Warner. And the Conners still produced by the great Tom Warner, our friend and chairman of Liverpool Football Club.

And a pretty strong eight handicap, maybe.

Is he?

I'm trying to think.

He's a good golfer. He's not to be underestimated.

I wanted to say happy birthday to our buddy, Billy Hogan, over there at Liverpool Football Club. I think we missed it.

Did you want to sing to him right now? Yeah, because Sean and I would love to sign off first, if that's okay.

Oh, before I do it?

If you're going to be singing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just before you start singing.

But you know, I always do like a classic. It's sort of like an homage to Marilyn Monroe. I always do that. Real classic.

No, don't lift up your sweatpants for him.

Sweatpants.

Sweatpants. Sweatpants.

Sweatpants. Sweatpants.

So I'm trying to think up a bye.

Oh. Let me see if I got one.

Are we supposed to? You know what? Here's what I'd like. Two things. The first one was confirmed or re-suggested by the great Justin Theroux earlier today.

or at least read a question online.

We are going to maybe do something like that. Go ahead.

I would like also in that same folder some suggestions for byes from our listeners. I'm sure they would come up with these.

Like, why don't they ever use this word? First of all, I do have a bye that I was getting to, but I want to say two things. I think that you're right, JB. I think that's a good idea. Yeah, I don't know.

From fucking Justin Theroux. Exactly. No, you know what? You're right.

This guy. This son of a bitch. You know what you guys ought to do? I'm like, shut the fuck up. I don't tell you how to cut your sleeves off.

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck you, Theroux. You fucking, fuck.

Bye.

On three. No, on three. Fuck you, Theroux. Are you ready? One, two, three.

Fuck you, Theroux.

Anyway, guys, I did get some new bye-focals. That's true. I did get some. I'm really sad.

Bye.

Bye. Congrats.

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Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.

She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef.

But this story didn't end with a happily ever after.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was.

on the ground, and I heard somebody say, call 911.. As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they'd look at would be the spouse.

We understand. that's usually the way they do it.