2023-05-28 00:32:40
emma prefers to share her thoughts with a microphone rather than a physical human being, so thank god she has a podcast. recorded from the comfort of her bed...and some other fun places, emma talks at length about whatever is on her mind every week. anything really does go on this podcast. sometimes philosophy, sometimes a random story from 10 years ago, sometimes advice, sometimes fun interviews, and sometimes nothing at all. you never know what you are going to get, but that’s what keeps it interesting. new episodes every thursday and sunday, video available only on spotify.
To some people, repeating the same outfit twice is as normal as brushing teeth in the morning. It's just a part of routine that never gets thought about. It's so normal that it's not even a topic of conversation. And for some people, outfit repeating is somewhat of a nightmare wearing the same dress to two different weddings.
Unthinkable. Wearing the same outfit on social media more than once not gonna happen. wearing the same outfit to two different parties not gonna happen.
There are some people who are so concerned about repeating the same outfit twice that they'd rather not go to a party, to an event, to a whatever, than wear the same outfit twice. I've known people like this that have literally wanted to come up with an excuse to not go to a wedding. Because they didn't want to wear the same dress that they had worn to another wedding in the past, but they didn't have time to find a new dress, this happens, okay? And then there are some people who can't be concerned with the concept of outfit repeating because they don't have that luxury. You know, being concerned about being seen in the same outfit twice is absolutely a luxury.
It goes without saying that there are people that would do anything for that luxury. I think all of us can look at the concept of outfit repeating and say, why is this even a topic of conversation? This is ridiculous, this is, you know, rooted in the most shallow values of humanity. This is ridiculous.
This is stupid. No one should be concerned about this. There are bigger fish to fry in this world. There are people with way worse problems, obviously. Why is this even a topic of conversation?
It's easy to say that from a bird's eye view, but what's wild to me is how common it is for people to be concerned about repeating the same outfit more than once. Not only have I experienced this pressure to not repeat outfits, but I've watched people in my life stress out over this and on social media, I've seen other people who I don't even know stress out about this. And I've also sort of seen it in the world. You know, when you go through any influencer's page on Instagram, you will probably not see them wear the same thing twice.
It's even rare to find an influencer or a celebrity wearing the same piece of clothing twice. Like, Yeah, maybe sometimes, but not often. So, whether it's being discussed or not, we're seeing this stigma around outfit repeating in action with celebrities, influencers and even our friends and family. Sometimes, you know, people always showing up to Thanksgiving in a new outfit, or always showing up to a wedding in a new outfit.
And I don't even want to talk about it, because by talking about it, I'm giving it some sort of legitimacy or some sort of value more than it deserves. And I don't want to do that, but at the same time, I do want to discuss it because I think it's something a lot of people experience. Whether they're fortunate enough to actually take it seriously as a concern, or if they wish that, they could think of it as a concern. It affects everybody in some way, not everybody, but it affects a lot of people in some way, or it's something that you feel everyone else is concerned about. I remember when I was in elementary school, I wore clothes in the most logical, rational, normal type of way that you could imagine.
It was like, every year I would go to the shoe store and I'd buy a pair of shoes, throw my old ones away if they were destroyed. Maybe get some hand-me-downs from my older cousins, maybe buy a few new things, probably not, probably just take the hand-me-downs from my cousins. And that's what I would wear all year, I would rotate between, I don't know, three tops, three pairs of pants, one to two jackets, that's it. It was like I would wear the same thing over and over, and over and over again, until it would get dirty, and then I'd wash it. And I never changed my shoes, I wore the same shoes every day.
Maybe I had a different sort of shoe for summer, but it was like, you wear what you got until it wears out and then you go get a new one. That was sort of the concept, and then there were a few backups for if things got dirty. And I mean, obviously, when you're in elementary school, you're not really too concerned about expressing yourself. I mean, I remember enjoying getting dressed up into Halloween costumes, even when it wasn't Halloween. And getting into my ballet outfit even when I wasn't at ballet class. And wearing cheap plastic jewelry that I don't know, maybe I got from my teacher or something.
I remember being excited about getting dressed up, but when it came to day-to-day life. The way that I wore clothes was very utilitarian and straight to the point. It was like, we're just wearing clothes to wear clothes, that's it, you know what I'm saying? There was no stigma when I was an elementary school kid around wearing the same outfit twice.
Okay, that was not a thing. All the kids in my school were wearing the same outfit over and over and over again, because that was normal as it should be. By the way, that period of my life, I think, taught me how you're supposed to wear clothes, you know what I'm saying?
You buy it and you wear it until it wears out, and then you get a new one if you can. You know what I'm saying now? It's even ridiculous to talk about it because I was actually between ages five and nine, okay?
Did I even have a brain? I don't know, it's questionable. In middle school, I feel like things changed a little bit. I remember going to middle school and I was so used to wearing the same thing every day.
You know, three days in a row wear the same thing until it got dirty right. And I remember going to middle school and realizing, Oh, wait, this is not what's going on here. Okay, we have people showing up every day in a different outfit, and we have people showing up every day in a cute outfit. I feel like prior to middle school, I was just so used to, I don't know, wearing just kind of comfortable, normal stuff to school every day.
Jeans and like a sweatshirt, you know, my jeans didn't fit perfectly, and my sweatshirt didn't really fit perfectly. It was like nothing was really cute about it, it was just clothes, that's it.
It was like, survival, you know what I'm saying? We're just putting on clothes to go to school. I saw a shift in middle school where I was like, wait, people are kind of expressing themselves in a different way. And all the cool kids seem to be wearing this, and they're all kind of matching. And they're all sort of wearing the Hollister shirts and the Abercrombie jeans, and the Ugg boots, and the leggings, and the juicy zip-ups. I started to notice people were being stylish at school and on top of that, they were wearing something different every day.
And I was like, So we're not wearing the same thing to school every day anymore? Okay, got it because I didn't know that. I will also say, though, what's interesting is I moved towns for middle school, so I went to a new school with a completely new group of kids and this school. Financially, it was in maybe a slightly wealthier area, so I wonder if that had something to do with it.
Maybe if I would have stayed in the town that I grew up in, I wouldn't have seen this sort of shift in priorities as early. Or maybe it's just something that happens in middle school, kids are growing up and they start to value these things more. I don't know. Obviously in middle school, kids weren't wearing a completely new outfit every day, it was still normal.
Kids were wearing the same one or two pairs of shoes, the same jacket, but the shirt was changing and the pants were changing, and the hair accessories were changing. Although I do think changing your shirt every day when you start to go through puberty makes sense. Because now you smell like shit, okay, you didn't smell like shit. In elementary school, you could get away with wearing the same shirt 100 days in a row because you never smelled, but in middle school you start to smell like shit. So it kind of makes sense that around this time, it became less cool to be wearing the same outfit every day. Because not only do kids priorities start to shift, but also kids start worrying about cleanliness. Because they kind of have to, because for the first time, they're having body odor.
I hate the term bo instead of saying body odor. bo, body odor as a phrase, does not bother me. Okay, nope, no problem, bo like that offends me for some reason.
Okay, so I will say I started to feel this sort of stigma against outfit repeating in middle school. But it wasn't really discussed yet, and it wasn't that extreme. It wasn't on my radar in a way that was impossible to ignore. It was like in my peripheral, you know, it was starting to enter my mind. And subconsciously, I started to feel this pressure to wear new, fresh things every day. But it wasn't at the forefront of my mind. I feel like it was almost like I just started doing it and I didn't really know why.
Like, it was just as a means to fit in right now. In high school, outfit, repeating really became a part of the conversation. What's funny about it is I went to a school that required us to wear uniforms every day, so I wore the same khaki skirt and polo shirt every single day. So it wasn't really a conversation at school, but when it came to football games or school dances, or even just going to hang out with friends. There kind of was a real pressure to wear something fresh and new every time, and I especially noticed it in my friend group, like, I noticed my friends felt this intense pressure to constantly wear something new. And, you know, we had a big group chat and I remember how much stress went into picking out the perfect outfit for the football game. And I remember, you know, some of my friends feeling like they had nothing to wear, even though they definitely had a lot to wear. You know what I'm saying?
I remember this starting to become an issue, like a serious issue that was being talked about. Like, oh, I already wore that, oh, but I've already worn that too many times at football games, I can't wear that again. Like, I felt like it started to become more of a conversation that was happening out loud, although I will say it wasn't a concern for everyone.
There were some of my friends that just could not have cared less, did not give a fuck, and then there were some of my friends that were incredibly concerned about it. So it sort of depended on the person and what their priorities were. And I remember I started to feel this pressure really heavily as well, trying to accumulate as many options as I could for the least amount of money possible. And that meant me digging around on weird websites that sold clothes for really cheap, trying to find clothes that, you know, I could afford. This is kind of how I discovered thrifting. You know, I didn't have my own money to go and buy the type of options that I wanted from, you know, normal stores. So I was like, I'm gonna go thrift shopping and find things for 1 50th of the price, so I can just have options. So I don't find myself running into this outfit repeating stress as often. I think the outfit repeating stigma really became obvious for me in a big way.
That impacted me. Once I became a public figure on the internet, particularly on Instagram. I noticed immediately that in order to fit in with the other public figures on the internet. There are some rules, you know, not outfit repeating being one of those rules now. I was a rebel when I first started posting on the internet for more than just my friends and family. I did not give a fuck about all of the rules that come with being a public figure. Like, you know, outfit repeating isn't cool. Or when you post an Instagram photo, it has to be perfect or blah, blah, blah. Like, I did not care about that.
I did not listen to that, like I knew about this stigma, I could feel it, but I didn't care. At first, it was almost like in middle school and high school. I cared a little bit, but I couldn't necessarily participate fully because I didn't make my own money.
I didn't have the ability to go and buy a bunch of options whenever I wanted. So I was somewhat aware of this stigma and I'd participate as much as I could. But I couldn't really care about it that much because I just didn't make my own money and my parents provided me with so much, I'm so grateful. But, you know, they didn't provide me with the sort of wardrobe that it would require. To not outfit, repeat, and to not get bored of what's in my closet constantly. You know what I'm saying? It's not a reasonable ask from your parents, okay? And so it weirdly was a concern, but it also kind of couldn't really be a concern. And then when I left middle school and high school, I just ditched that whole thing altogether. And I was like, I don't give a fuck, I do not give a fuck. Almost as a form of rejection against what it meant to be a public figure. Always wearing something new and fresh, always wearing something bougie, always looking good, always doing this, always doing that.
I was like, Fuck all that. It was never something that was actually deliberately discussed, but it was always this unspoken thing among public figures. You know, it was like it was just this unspoken thing. Now, I don't know at what point this happened now. Eventually, I did cave to this mentality, which I'm not proud of admitting.
Like, I actually, I'm embarrassed to admit this, I would prefer to not. But for the sake of this conversation, I will admit that. I did eventually cave fully to this whole stigma around outfit repeating. And it wasn't like a deliberate choice on my end, it wasn't like starting today now, this means something to me. It was sort of a slow burn and it happened slowly over time. Where I just started to care more and more about wearing the same thing, whether it was posting on social media or going to a party or whatever. I slowly but surely started to care about outfit repeating and it became something that was floating around my mind when I was getting dressed in the morning.
I wish I could pinpoint why or how I got to that point, but I can't. I don't know what happened because I was doing so good. In the beginning. I was like, I don't give a fuck, fuck.
These bad morals, you know, like that, come with being a public figure where you give a fuck about the stupid stuff, not me. And then, you know, and it kind of did become me, you know what I'm saying? It didn't harm anyone around me or anything, but it harmed me in a way because it was something that stressed me out. Like I would put on an outfit that I really liked and then I'd be like, but I wear these pants too much, or? But I wear this top too much. Or I've already worn this dress to an event. And it made me stressed out and unhappy, as dumb as that sounds.
I would get stressed out if someone would take a photo of me and I was like, Oh, that's a cool photo. But I already wore that shirt in an Instagram photo. Like that mattered to me at a point. Okay, I would say, probably when I was 18 or 19, no, I don't know. Actually. I can't put a finger on the age, but I did subconsciously and somewhat consciously, but mainly subconsciously, start to care about this.
Now, around this time, I was able to support myself financially where I could sort of support this mindset. I made my own money and paid for everything for myself. For the first time in my life. And I didn't know how to use discipline with myself, yet I didn't know I needed to. So I sort of enabled myself in a way to shop and buy new things on a consistent basis. So that I never had to feel like I was repeating outfits. This was a priority for me and for a few years, I was consistently buying clothes, buying clothes, buying clothes, buying clothes, subconsciously stressing out about wearing the same thing twice. And I also found myself getting really bored of clothes after I'd wear them, especially on social media. Like, if I'd post a photo in something, I'd feel like I don't like it anymore.
It was crazy, like, I don't know how I got to this point because it's something that I'm so not proud of. Like, it's a terrible way to look at clothes, it's a terrible way to look at your belongings, and it's just a moral blip for me. And the funniest part about it is that throughout those years of me giving a fuck about outfit repeating, I never once paid attention enough to what someone else wears. To notice if they repeated an outfit or wore the same pair of jeans every time they went out to dinner?
I never, ever noticed that, ever yet I cared about it. Now, before we discuss how I got over that phase, I want to discuss a little bit more how I've seen this stigma in the world around me. Because part of me wonders if my sudden shift from not caring about outfit repeating at all to suddenly caring more than I wish to admit, part of me wonders if. That's as a result of the culture shifting, too, and it becoming even more stigmatized in society. I don't know now. I know I'm not the only one who has possibly lost control of their values and has put priority on this in their life. I know I'm not the only one. But for all of you out there listening, whether this is something you care about or don't care about. Let's just remind ourselves why the stigma around outfit repeating is fucking ridiculous, regardless of where we stand on the topic.
Number one repeating your outfit doesn't mean that you don't have style. I feel like some people feel pressure to wear something new and fresh every time to display that they're fashionable, but that doesn't really make sense. Because being fashionable has nothing to do with how frequently you have a cool new outfit, it just has to do with how cool the outfit you're wearing in the present moment is. Whether you do or don't, outfit repeat has nothing to do with whether or not you're fashionable. And it has everything to do with what your priorities are in life and what your resources are in life. You know, overall, this stigma is rooted in terrible values.
It's basically quantity over quality to a t, you know, and I can't think of one occasion where quantity is more favorable than quality. I mean, like, even with money, let's say you have a lot of money, but it's all illegal. You made it all illegally, so you're constantly hiding it. Would you rather have that quantity, or would you rather have quality?
You know, less money, but you earned it. I don't know. I mean, maybe some would prefer the illegal money, and that's fair, too. But when it comes to quality of life, I think on most occasions it's quality over quantity. But this concept of outfit repeating, it puts the priority on quantity of outfits instead of the quality of one or a few really good outfits. And that just misses the point of fashion. Because fashion is about expressing yourself just as much as it's about being comfortable in what you're wearing and appreciating what you're wearing.
And when you're so concerned about quantity, you're much less concerned about those key values that make fashion so exciting. Fashion is not about quantity, despite what you may believe, it is truly about quality. Like, I think it's so much cooler to see someone wear two different outfits in rotation that are really cool and really them. I think it's so much cooler to see that than to see somebody who's constantly in a new outfit. But their closet is a mess and they have a bunch of stuff that's falling apart. Because maybe they bought a bunch of fast fashion sort of things just to fill their closet.
I don't know, I think it's more exciting to see someone really enjoy and appreciate the pieces that they do have. One amazing pair of pants that fit you amazing, that are comfortable, that are your style are worth so much more in your heart than ten pairs of shitty pants that cost the same amount as that one pair of pants. I think the stigma really does push you to want to buy more rather than better, you know, and that's just not right.
Listen, am I saying it's wrong to buy something new here and there and enjoy it? No, am I saying that we all need to be minimalist and have two outfits in our closet that we wear every day? No, I'm not saying that.
There's this healthy balance, I think that we can find, that's somewhere in between. I think the key is just removing the stigma around outfit repeating, because without that stigma, without that pressure. It's so much easier to shop in a way that's responsible, it's so much easier to appreciate the pieces of clothing that you do have. It's still okay to go shopping, it's still okay to buy something new for a wedding if you want to. But I think the true test to see how much you really care is to ask yourself how you'd feel wearing the same dress to two different weddings, you know?
To ask yourself how you'd feel wearing the same outfit to two separate parties, two nights in a row, you know? And I think once you get to a point where your answer is, I don't really care. Then, naturally, the way that you shop and the way that you live, and the way that you appreciate your belongings will shift. If you're somebody who particularly struggles with this and you have a really hard time repeating outfits, I'll tell you how I sort of unlearned the whole thing and restructured that part of my brain. The first thing I did was look at myself in the face and say, your priorities are all out of whack. And you let this dumb idea tiptoe into your mind and make a home and the lease is up, and it's time for that dumb idea to move the fuck out.
You know, it's your fault for falling for this, you know? And I think the first step is to realize how dumb the ideology is. And then to look at yourself in the face and say, this is like, kind of a mistake that you made, a little bit caring about this. But it's okay, because it's up to you to change your mind and tell that little idea in your brain that it's time to move out. You have control over that, so that's the good news.
It's almost like playing bad cop with yourself and being a little bit mean to yourself about it. I don't know. I don't think being mean to yourself is the right way to put it. But taking accountability for letting yourself get to a point where that matters to you, I think taking accountability for that sort of makes you feel a little embarrassed, a little uncomfortable inside, to a point where it shakes you a little bit. And it inspires you to want to be better about the way that you look at things, because you're like, I'm not really, actually proud of that.
But if you don't take accountability and look at yourself in the mirror and say that was kind of not cool when you cared about that, then you might not shake yourself up enough to change it. And maybe this is just the way that I handle things and the way that works for me, but that really worked for me. I also think the second step that goes hand in hand with that first step is to look at the bigger picture. And if you're somebody who is lucky enough to even have this be a concern, really. Sit in that and feel uncomfortable with that. Because that was something I had to sort of sit with and feel uncomfortable with. Like that, I cared about this.
This mattered to me. This actually stressed me out at one point, you know what I'm saying, how ridiculous is that when there are truly so many more things to be worried about? Number one, I let myself sit in the fact that I let myself buy into something as materialistic and surface level as that, and that that's kind of embarrassing to me.
Like, I forced myself to sit in that embarrassment, and I forced myself to look at the bigger picture, to look at what life is really about. And then sort of zoom into this little tiny, dumb thing that I cared about and realize how tiny, small and ridiculous that thing was. I do this with my anxiety as well. You know, when I get anxious about something that is mundane or inconsequential, when I get too wrapped up in the weeds, you know? And I get anxious about something that is really not that big of a deal. I'll do the same thing, I'll zoom out and I'll look at the big picture, I'll look at the grand scheme of things. And then I'll zoom back into my tiny little thing and realize, Wait a minute, this doesn't matter.
This is not something that actually warrants anxiety. This means nothing in the bigger picture, and that's how I relieve my anxiety about the small stuff. But it's the same thing with this taking a step back so you can truly see how dumb that sort of ideology is. And naturally, that made me shop more mindfully, made me appreciate what I have and not constantly want more.
And it's inspired me to reinvent things in my closet, over and over and over and over again. Instead of getting bored of something, I'm inspired to take something I've worn 50 times and find a new way to wear it, find a way to make it feel new. It's been so much more inspiring for me, actually, with getting dressed in the morning. I really love the idea of only having things in your closet that you really love and appreciate. And finding new ways to reinvent those things instead of constantly wanting the hot new thing. All of this to say, you know, I'm somewhat embarrassed that I ever got to this point.
Now, listen, I don't really know when this started for me, I may never figure it out. There were some signs when I was younger. There have been a lot of signs in the world around me, but I can't quite pinpoint how or why it happened. But regardless, I'm glad to say that that is no longer something that I care about.
I am now a proud outfit repeater, and I really think outfit repeating is not only is it so obvious, not only is it so normal, but I think it's fucking great. It's actually amazing, like allowing yourself to wear the same thing twice. Like I have a dress right now that I love that I wore to one wedding. Next time there's a wedding on the calendar, guess what I'm wearing.
That dress, What a relief. I don't have to worry about buying a new dress the next day. Nope, what if there's a dinner party that comes up?
That's like, you know, a little bit more dressy, guess what dress I'm gonna wear? probably that fucking dress. I'm gonna wear that thing over and over again until it really, it really needs to be retired. Wearing the same sweatshirt and jeans every day for a week when I'm on vacation.
What a blissful experience, really, getting to just enjoy the environment around me when I'm traveling. What a blissful experience. Wearing a cute outfit one night out to a party and then being like, Well, it didn't really get that dirty. I'm gonna wear it again this next night to a different party.
What a blissful experience. It makes life better, not to care about outfit repeating. It genuinely makes life better, and for those of you who have never thought twice about outfit repeating. For whatever reason that may be, this whole thing probably sounds fucking stupid to you, and honestly, it should.
Because this whole thing is stupid. And the fact that it's even a conversation today is gonna keep me up at night. Okay, but if you're out there right now and you're still concerned about outfit repeating, let me tell you something set yourself free.
Okay, set yourself free and look at the bigger picture. I'm not judging you, no one should be judging you, okay?
Even though it's kind of ridiculous, no one's judging you, but set yourself free from this. I had to teach myself this. Now it's your turn. I don't know what it is about me.
I'm like, really going through this phase where I'm really, I don't know. I'm just having epiphanies about the way I live my life, I guess, and the weird little things that I've abided by without really asking any questions. This is one of those things, so that's all I have for today.
Thank you for listening, thank you for hanging out. As always. Share your thoughts with me on Instagram or at Twitter. The Instagram is at AnythingGoes, the Twitter is at AGPodcast.
You can subscribe to AnythingGoes. You can check out my Instagram at Emma chamberlain. If you want to keep up with me as an individual, you can check out my coffee company, chamberlaincoffee.com. If you want to pick up some coffee or tea or little beverage accessories, you can use code AG15 on chamberlaincoffee.com for a little discount if you want.
And that's all I have for today. Thank you for listening, thank you for hanging out. It is always my pleasure and I really appreciate all of you hanging out with me when you have a little time, too. New episodes of Hangout and I'll talk to you soon.
All right, ttyl.
v1.0.0.260408-1-a910ba6_os