Madison Beer: Blackmailed With My Nudes (FBF) [VIDEO]

Madison was hands down, one of the sweetest people that I have ever interviewed. Everything she's been through in her life, I am in awe of her strength. I just had such an incredible conversation with her and this is why I love this podcast. We get to have such in-depth, long conversations and really talk through shit that happens in our lives, and trauma and happiness and sadness, and family shit, friendship, personal shit. Like it is, it was really inspiring to see what she's been through and to see how far she's come and the success.

I know. she's on tour right now, so shout out Madison. We love you. The Daddy Gang loves you. And to the Daddy Gang that has never heard this episode, here is Madison Beer.

She talks about so many things she had never opened up about. So enjoy. This is Madison Beer.

What is up, Daddy Gang?

And now we're here. We're here. It feels right. Thank you for coming today.

Crazy. And you're constantly a topic of conversation on the internet.

You talk about a lot of personal moments and events in your life that I think give us a better insight into who you are sitting here today and how you got here. So we're going to get into it.

And I was just like, is it over yet? Can you guys go? And I don't know. It was just sort of like my escape place. I lived for camp.

So that's definitely my happy place when I think back to my childhood.

So I don't feel like I really dealt with it. And then I actually quickly sort of became like a mediator in not even their relationship, like in my dad's relationship with new women, or my mom and my dad. I was really lucky that my parents were able to sort of still have a relationship and be on good terms, and in the same room. I have friends I grew up with whose parents couldn't even speak. So I was very grateful for that.

But I think that that was sort of the beginning of aging me really quickly and growing up really fast, because I was just put in sort of adult positions really young.

So that's like a moment that I think you have at some point. Now, when I talk about this, I do look back as a man going through a divorce who was going through a difficult time. And I empathize with him in those ways. But at the same time, I look at myself and I'm like, I did have to see sort of this, like, he's going to kill me, this like revolving door of women. And there was a lot of people and, you know, there was things that I just sort of like had to see, whether it was like him kissing someone or even having his arm around someone.

that was weird. And of course I was very protective of my mom and didn't want her to be hurt. And it was hard for sure. And my dad got remarried once, but kind of twice. Like he had a very serious, like six, seven year long relationship after his second wife.

But it was hard. It definitely also instilled abandonment issues in me, very, very young, because I would develop this relationship with this woman who I sort of was like, oh, you're, you're like kind of my second mom. And I was actually into it because I enjoyed having these relationships with these like new women. It was fun. And then they would, I would just never see them again.

And it was really hard. And I do look back and think that that is like a lot of why I have maybe these like attachment, abandonment issues. Yeah.

We're so impressionable. Anything we see that doesn't fully make sense to us and isn't like cut and dry, it can affect you and you absorb it and it becomes who you are.

He was like, it's beautiful.

So yeah, so I, yeah, I was 15.

. I probably was even maybe 14, 13 in some of the videos that exist, and I will get to the where I'm going with, you know, the multiples. But so, of course, as a young girl, there was a boy that I liked from back home and when I was sort of already like in LA, a bit going back and forth, I started sending videos of myself to him, as I think a lot of people do. And I also won't like ever convince myself that a lot of people don't do that because I've seen tweets of people being like, maybe you shouldn't have been dumb enough to send that to this person. And why would you do that?

And I'm like, cause. I was a young girl with also an app called Snapchat that literally deletes the video after you send it. What could, what, what's the harm in that? I remember hearing of this thing called Snap Save and I was like, what the fuck is that? And someone told me it was an app that you can download that.

basically, whenever you open a Snapchat, it saves to your camera roll automatically. And I was like, that can't be real, because you know how you get a notification when someone's screen records or takes a screenshot, I was like that something has to notify you. Yeah.

So I found out that existed, but I just didn't think that the person I was sending this stuff to would remotely ever think to do something like that, because this was someone I'd known my whole life. So I was wrong, obviously. When I first, first, first found out that it was going around, I don't, I think I was like in bed or something and someone had sent it to me and was like, yo, this is going, I just got this. No, it was like, I just got this sent to me. And I was like, who sent it to you?

Where did you get this from? What the fuck? Full, just like, I just couldn't believe what was going on.

So I'm in crisis mode, just trying to trace it and do damage control and be like, where did it come from? Because maybe if I find the source, I can stop this. And I knew in my bones that the second it was texted to me, it would end up on the internet, unfortunately. And I couldn't run from that fact.

So it went from that to then my friend in Florida the next day, and this was someone from New York that originally texted me, my friend in Florida the next day calls me and immediately, of course, I answer and I'm like, what's going on? She's like, I just saw this video of you and she sent me a different video. So now there's two and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I just knew at that point it was spiraling and I knew it was a matter of time until it got online, and it was so, it was so hard to just not tell my mom and like, I just didn't know what to, I did not know what to do. And then that night was sort of when I got the like, no, that wasn't even that night.

It was that day actually. I literally went to dance rehearsals and I remember I was like with my choreographer and I was just working on, like dance, movement or something for a show, and it was on Twitter and it was just there and I was just looking at it and I remember just dropping to the floor and being like, oh my God, what do I do?

And I reached out to the person who posted it and begged them to delete it. and they just blocked me straight up, just blocked me immediately. And then now I'm staring at this gray screen with a dull username and I'm like, I just feel powerless in the moment. And then I'm just sitting and typing my name in quotation marks on Twitter to see everything people are saying about me and just refreshing in real time. And it was just everywhere.

And then it was on Vine and it was just, it was just on every social media platform possible so quickly.

And I didn't realize until like years later that I was the victim in the situation. And I don't know, there's just so many, there's so many things I can say about it. And I think that some people who maybe haven't gone through it, or men, don't understand how truly traumatizing something like this can be, especially for a minor. So when I talk about it, like I've had people, of course, sympathize and be like, that's horrible. But I've also had people be like, who cares?

They maybe looked like me a bit and people would think it was me. And then and then I was put in this position that I couldn't admit to one video and deny the rest. And again, being 15 years old, I just denied it. all being me. I was like, this, isn't me.

It's full stop, just not me, because I was also at the time the adults around me were telling me that it was bad and it was going to ruin my career. And oh, my goodness, this is just horrible. And I remember, like, you know, we were younger, like Miley Cyrus had that video of her smoking a bong going viral. And I remember thinking to myself something like that at the time was really negative. that if I'm like naked in something, that's that's a million times worse.

And I just remember I kept thinking about that and just being like, I'm done, I'm finished. And it was so, so hard for so long. And I felt like the whole world had seen this video. And I I also had this. This is also the beginning of having like real.

Triggerable PTSD from the situation, because right when I sort of started, a couple weeks later, being able to breathe again and being like, OK, it's dying down, the Internet's finding something else to like, fixate on, I got an anonymous text message like literally like I was in fucking Pretty Little Liars. That was a picture of a computer screen with like 50 videos on it that were all like little. And I'm looking at this and it's blurry, but I can see exactly what it is. And again, for anyone out there who's like, that's a lot of videos. I was a young, horny kid that, like, sent videos to a guy that I like.

Like, I'm not going to let anyone shame me for it, because it is what it is. But like it was a, it was a lot. And I, just like, was staring at this and I couldn't believe that they had everything I'd ever sent. And I know that in some of these videos, again, I'm like 13,, 14, 15.. These are like I'm not talking about.

a day like these are years worth of like nudes I'm sending to this kid. So that just instilled a whole other level of paranoia. Am I being watched? Does someone have my Snapchat hacked? Like what is going on right now?

And I think what was the most like difficult part was knowing in my bones that I wasn't the one who was at fault, that the boy who betrayed my trust was the one who should be at fault. But that was also me learning very quickly that, like men, and women get treated very differently.

You said you could fill one fucking computer. I could have filled 20, Madison.

I think he saved it to show his guy friends and look and act cool, which is wrong, and not saying that that's okay at all. But he was so young. I think he was just like, look, like hot girl sending me nudes. I really just don't think it was malicious. And that's been something that I've had to come to that place because I have seen people do evil shit.

I've had people in the last, so on my 21st birthday was when I like posted on international women's day saying sort of like. I take back the anxiety and the shame that I felt all these years and I don't let, I'm not letting anyone control me, because I had someone threatening me at that time being like, I'm going to leak this. You're a whore. Everyone's going to know all this stuff. And that was to me like.

that is a malicious person that is trying to use like revenge porn. Yeah. I don't think that the guy who did this was doing that to me. And I know people are going to be like, that's no, no, no.

listening. Like this can ruin someone's fucking life.

Every dollar I'd earned up until that point in my career, I then spent on clearing this and scrubbing it from the internet. And something that I want to like bring this conversation back to is that I am hopeful that now the internet would protect a 14, 15 year old girl who had something like this happen. I think it would be removed on Tik TOK instantaneously removed on Twitter instantaneously. I didn't get that privilege and I think it was just a different time in 2014 and. People had little to no compassion for me specifically.

And, um, yeah, I sort of just got the sharp end of the stick. that was like really difficult and it was spreading on. I remember specifically Twitter and Vine like a wildfire and just people, not one person was like, isn't this girl a minor? Isn't she really young? Like?

no one said that it was horrible.

and he was just like having aggressive sex with this sex doll while watching this video of me, of a 14 year old little girl. And it was a grown man, like, visibly a grown adult. And I remember just like, first of all, being reminded of being sexually abused as a child. And I was like, I just, I couldn't like take my eyes off of it because of how shocking it was. I was also like the day I discovered what like being triggered was.

And I was just, it was, I had so many feelings and emotions of like, just like that image will never leave my head. I was so disturbed by it and so afraid. I felt so unsafe and just like scared. And there was so many layers of like peeling the onion of that, of how that made me feel. And again, like just no, no one saying that it was wrong.

Oh, he goes back.

You mentioned in the book that you were abused as a child, and I thought it was really sad, but like insightful to hear you talk about, like these comments that were being said to you, of course they were so hurtful. But what people didn't understand was how fucking painful they were for you to be called a slut and a whore.

Well, OK, so firstly, yeah, there was, you know, someone in my childhood that was around me frequently, that sort of would that I had an inappropriate relationship with. very early on. I would say like.

Probably, I don't even know, I would say maybe six, seven, I'm not sure. it sort of began, and.

I've also like I want to say like I've come to peace with this, because I feel like in talking in person with some people about this, I've been able to create, I've been able to like, join this community of women specifically that I feel really proud to, like stand amongst. genuinely. So I remember feeling really dirty after like all of anything I would endure, whether it was like whatever it was. And I just remember like feeling like I had done something wrong, not being able to fully articulate what.

I don't know, I feel like I just look back.

And being someone who had gone through all of this so privately, whereas, like my own family, didn't even know about this until I mean, this might be news to, like some people in my family, but my, like my mom, I didn't even tell my mom until years later.

I never hooked up with any of them. I might have like kissed one or two of them, but that was like the extent of it. And people were just like, oh, she slept with all of them and she did this. And I'm like, whoa, you guys don't even know. It took me so long to like have sex with my first boyfriend because I was so afraid and like traumatized.

So it just. it just goes to show that people really have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

It's you, you and your body, and like the fixation on you. It's so fucking sick and it like it makes me so upset because, again, it's like and not back to the kid that released your nudes, but it is kind of like where is any accountability for any men in this situation?

Why are we not blaming a father who walked out on their child? Potentially?

Like the call is coming from within the fucking house. What are we talking about? Why are you blaming a girl? You're saying, OK, so you're. you're saying that this girl turned out this way, which you're, again, portraying as negative, yet you're also addicted to fucking porn.

And like, let's not even get into that. So you're going to. you're going to then blame and shame a girl who's posting with like her boobs, looking whatever, and say fatherless behavior. But we're not going to talk about the fact that you're not discussing that. maybe a parent actually did walk out on this little girl.

And that's horrible, right? Like, what the fuck are you saying? I'm sorry.

Our conversation about a week prior that we used to save all of our conversations, like, even if they were ones that we wanted to delete, we would save them, whatever.

So he types to me a message that says, basically, I hacked this person's Snapchat and I know that you were R worded and I'm going to tell the entire Internet if you don't follow me on Instagram and like do X, Y and Z. And I was like.

And I'd only told him this in person, like a couple of months prior, but we were talking about it on Snapchat because something had happened, I forget what, obviously, that upset me. And I was just talking to him about, like, you know, because this happened, I feel really upset and da da, da. And I was now being threatened to release, basically to to do things, to shout this person out on Instagram and to do things online to benefit this guy, or else he was going to leak this information to the public. So in that moment, I was like, well, this isn't how I want my mom to find out. So I had to call my mom and be like, hey, something might end up on the Internet that I think you should know.

Yeah, that's why I just laugh, because I'm like, Madison, it's just crazy.

What the fuck?

the biggest thing with therapy that I've learned is being able to tell myself like you didn't deserve these things. And just because you've done, just because you've shouldered them gracefully, and you've been able to, like survive, doesn't mean you should have gone through them. Just because you're able to talk about it and hopefully help other people does not fucking mean that anyone, nor myself, should have gone through these things. So that's something that I've been able to just like give myself. So I want anyone watching or listening to know that I'm at peace with these things.

But I still like. literally two nights ago, I was so triggered and so upset about something that happened that I like was dissociating and didn't know where I was and was like, very afraid and felt like a little girl again, like I have a lot of issues still that I'm very much so working through. So I don't want people to think I'm just like, haha, okay about it. I just can't. Yeah, I just I just can't like break down and cry about it every time because I'm just at a place where I'm like, you know, it is.

it sort of says what it is, what you don't.

I'm really petrified of the dark, which I have a hard time saying publicly, because I feel like the paranoia. I have also horrible paranoia, which, as you can see why the paranoia and me think someone's going to purposely do that to me and put me in a dark room or a dark place and just like want to see me suffer. So that's like why I've never really talked about it. But I also discussed in the book like on tour, we'll have the. obviously we have blackouts after every song.

I had to do like submersion therapy, almost where I was like, I had to like work myself up to going from like a point five second blackout to a three second blackout and being able to sort of be okay in those moments. And I had to literally like submerse myself in it and like get through that. And that was something I worked on with my therapist before I went on tour. And now I have this like simple yet effective thing where, like I, just I like sort of do this and it helps like ground me. it's weird.

And I also people don't really see. but when I do have a blackout, there will be people on both sides of the stage with some sort of form of light. that just helps remind me where I am, because I can just get like lost in it and sometimes I'll feel like I'm in, you know, the place that I was abused and whatnot. So I just need something to kind of ground me whether it's like, okay, I'm here, I'm at my show. I hear my fans screaming, I'm okay, or like looking to the side of the stage and seeing like there's a.

there's one song I have called Sour Times that has like quite a long blackout at the beginning at my concert. And if you like, look at videos, you'll sort of always see me looking off to the left or right at my dancers, because if I know people are there, I'm okay.

But I have such an amazing, what's helped me so much is I have such amazing friends and family and relationships with people that like, for example, when I go to, like Universal, if I'm in a dark ride, someone will just hold my hand and be like, I'm here with you. And it's okay. And it's so nice. And to have people that just sort of don't make it like, oh, she's so dramatic, or she doesn't? because I'm not going to also go into depth and explain to everyone what happened.

or hey, just let letting everyone know I'm really scared of the dark and don't ask why it's just not something I care to really make public or talk about. So it's really nice when I have someone who's able to just, yeah, be like, hey, I'm here and you're good.

I know that like setting boundaries, it sounds vague, but that's been super huge for me is just being able to be like, hey, I'm uncomfortable with the topic of discussion here. Like, I don't want to be in this room where that person makes me uncomfortable, like just little things like that. And being able to, I always say, be your own best friend and look out for yourself the same way you would look out for your best friend is really helpful. And I think, just being patient, it took me years and years to be able to even discuss this. Like, I think that anyone who's a fan of mine is going to be like, what?

We had no idea. And I've been very open and candid about a lot of things that I've gone through. But this has never been something that I've been ready to talk about.

And yeah, I don't know. It's all a journey. There's no right answer. There's nothing that anyone could say to like, make it okay or go away. And I think just, yeah, I don't know, hopefully like wishing anyone who's listening to find peace someday.

It's really hard. And I don't know, there's no, there's literally nothing I can say. It's like very difficult. Yeah.

You fucking lived it and you can talk about it, but it's like, we have to talk about it because, like, people need to fucking realize what their words can do. And so you, sitting there by yourself as a minor, going through this shit, like it's so sick. Like, can you try to articulate, and it's not your job to like write the wrongs of people, but maybe there's someone listening that will like never write a negative comment again, because, like you're someone sitting here that has endured so much online bullying. Like where do, where do you go when those types of comments come on your feed and come on your posts?

But it felt so disingenuous to me and I was like, it does get to me, though, and I spend every night crying my eyes out because people are so vicious that I don't feel right. when an interviewer is like, how do you deal with hate? I'm like, it doesn't affect me. It's fine. I was like, this needs to be something that I'm honest about.

So I just stopped with that nonsense because I felt like it was really silly and I felt like I owed it to people to know that their words hurt and even if that's honestly what they wanted to hear because some of them probably got satisfaction hearing that I was affected by their words, but it's important. I think it's never going to end. I think people should know that your words have power. I think that people's digital footprints should be more serious. that say things like, kill yourself to people.

and, you know, there's also people who I've spoken to, who haven't ever dealt with it, who are like, just turn your phone off. Why do you even read it? I'm like, it's not that simple. And especially someone like me, who has been unfortunately scrolling and scrolling through hate comments since I was 12 years old, it's become like part of my nature to seek out what people have to say about me. And it's been something because I'm also just like being completely genuine.

I'm someone who does care about what people think about me. Like. I pride myself on being a kind individual who has a good heart that, like, wants to make people feel good. I think that that's what life is about and I want people to be happy when they're around me and I, whatever the fuck it is, like. that's something that's really important to me and has been deeply ingrained in me as a human being.

So when I read tens of thousands of comments of people saying things that I know are so far from the truth about me and my character, it bothers me and I can't help but look and I can't help but be upset by it, and it sucks, and I wish I didn't care, but I do.

And to have that level of violation to then paranoia and then to have to read every fucking comment and looking like, what do they say? What do they say? Yeah. I don't think people understand. I understand.

it's like, oh, what was you? You choose this life. I know. If there was a fucking forum, I want everyone to pause for a minute. If there was a forum that you knew, you're sitting at home right now, if you knew someone was writing things about you, 10 out of 10 times you're fucking clicking.

There's all these people, but I'm like, okay, let's pause for five seconds about like what anyone else fucking thinks. How do you feel about your body image and your sexuality now?

And I just, I don't know. I feel like it does sort of like feed into all of it. I feel like it's interlocked in this weird, misogynistic way and I don't know.

And it is also completely stripping you of your ability to feel like you're going to be seen and heard for what you've been through. And it is like, I fucking hate everyone.

Right. The fuck?

In your memoir, you write, and I just think it's important to read this, because a lot of what we've talked about, this is an interesting summation of how you wrote this. You said, it feels like my entire life's journey thus far has been a perfectly crafted cocktail of situations that landed me at this borderline personality diagnosis. As if my biography could be written and titled how to give someone BPD, a step-by-step guide.

What do you want people to understand from you writing that?

But I just, yeah, I couldn't, it just felt like I was like, was this the goal in my life? was for people to like, give me this disorder? I don't understand it. So yeah, I don't, I don't know. It's very, it's very strained.

And so, like, I appreciate you writing this because it's like, let's have a little fucking empathy and compassion when someone says that they are struggling or they have BPD. Like. that's actually such a great way to start a conversation with someone of like, I'm here for you. Like, I want to listen to you. I want to understand you.

I want to understand what you've been through. Like, you're not a bad fucking person. You're a wonderful person with a great heart and you had a lot of fucking shit happened to you. But, like, I just felt like the way that you wrote it, people don't understand it. And I really appreciated the way that you said that, like how to give someone it, like this shit happened to you, but you're alive and you're here and you've, like powered through.

But I just, I think about my younger self, who, it just, I don't, yeah, there was so many times where it felt like the only way out was to end it. And I just, I don't know, I just feel like I am grateful, for sure for everything, because I feel like I wouldn't be the person I am today if literally everything didn't happen. But it's hard to come to terms with a lot of these things and I, it's hard to not feel bitter, I think, towards people, because, and that's the biggest thing that, like my therapist, who's amazing, always says to me, and she's like, I'm so glad that you've never turned cold to people and you're still like warm and fuzzy and friendly and you want to be friends with everyone and you still have like faith in people, but it's a lot, it's hard. It's a hard journey.

And in the summer of 2019, you wrote about how it was like the best part of your career. You were at a career high, but, like personally, you had never been lower. What were you going through?

And I feel so sorry for that to this day. So that was a lot and I had a lot of things just like really, really weighing on me heavily for so long. And I just felt like I was, I just felt like also nothing would ever change. I felt like I would live in this sort of like begging to be seen place for the rest of my life. I was like, I'm never, no one's ever going to know me and I'm never going to have a real friendship and I'm always going to be like betrayed or like blackmailed and just so many endless things.

I'm also, I'm never going to be, a successful artist. There was so many things weighing on me that I really, I started self harming again, which I had been clean for a while. And so that was again, something that was like, oh, you're weak and you did the wrong thing and whatever. So I just felt like it was something I'd been thinking about for a really long time. I also always said to people, and this is like horrible and dark, but probably from like starting at like 15, I would always tell people, because you know, we have this conversation, do you have any idea of like, how you think you're going to die?

I would always say, I know I'm going to die from suicide. I know.

And now that makes me so sad because I just think about that like child who was just hurting and felt like she was screaming into a void all the time and no one cared to listen. And that just makes me really sad and I wish I can hug her. I thought that everyone on the fucking face of this earth would have rathered me dead. And so I just, I did attempt twice.

And yeah, I'm really grateful that I was obviously unsuccessful, but I think people need to understand that like it's really serious and not something to joke about. And I, just, like my life was almost over, like I almost died. I almost was dead because of all of this. And it's a lot to comprehend. It's a lot for me to think about.

It's a lot for me to accept that people made me feel that way. People kicked me while I was down and, just like, did not give a fuck, did not look at me as human at all. I would think about the tweets that would be posted the next day, people like laughing and making fun of the fact that I was dead. And I knew it would happen. That was the sickest part was like, I still know to this day that if it happened, people would joke about it, because I've seen people joke about the most horrible things ever online.

And I think it all just ties back into the fact of like, I just hope for a day of like, people having empathy and people not judging each other and being able to be kind and loving.

But I still like. I definitely don't feel like I have this like suicidal ideation thing in me anymore, but I still have really, really horrible, dark days like to this fucking day that I just feel defeated. And I just there's so much grieving I do for my younger self. And there's so much like I am a bit angry a little towards the internet. in some ways.

I feel like I never got an apology from a lot of people. I don't know. I feel like I'm still also like made fun of all the time. I'll talk in a video and people be like, she's so cringy and embarrassing.

we're going through it.

Yeah. But when you finally even get a little bit on that other side of like, it's the best, it's the best. And you find a reason to live. And you find like a perspective that you could have never had. when you're in a relationship and you're going through all this.

Like, how does having a partner and having to have someone in your life and be, you know, in this dynamic where you have to be not selfish all the time and not focusing on yourself. Like, how does that affect your mental health of being in a relationship while you're going through this mental health journey?

I think that is because of my deep rooted abandonment issues and attachment style and whatever. And I am working through that. But I think on the other side, it's been amazing. And I feel like I've been able to. obviously breakups are really hard.

But I think in all three of my relationships, I look back and I feel, you know, a lot of support at times from those people. And especially in my current one, like, I feel, yeah, supported and I feel like taken care of in a way that I can break down and like I have someone to lean on. And I think it's important.

you can't convince me that your ex-girlfriend was just like crazy for no reason. Like you definitely caused her to be that way. So I don't really give a fuck what you have to say about yourself.

But I hate. I especially can't handle it in a guy who's like my, my crazy ex-girlfriend. I'm like, sir.

But other than that, I think that someone who like, oh, I don't know, there's so many things I can say. I think hygiene is like huge. Brush your teeth, please. I'm begging you. Please, brush your teeth.

I'm begging you.

I was like crying my eyes out, screaming when Scooter played me, boyfriend, the day that he signed me. Like, I, there's a lot of things, but all I like at this point, like the truth, is all that I really care to talk about, because I think that it just doesn't matter at this point. It's 10 years ago. So literally to break it down. quite simply, my mom and dad have no music industry correlation.

My mom was an interior designer. My dad was a builder. Like, it just was not part of our life. The only person that my mom knew as I was younger that sort of had an in with those people was a guy who owns Catch, like the restaurants, which, for those of you who don't know, are like L.A., New York hotspot restaurants. And she sort of knew him.

And she, being a proud mom, posted my YouTube video to her Facebook and was texting all her friends, like, you know, who could get my daughter like an audition somewhere? Like, my dream was to be on Broadway. That was like my number one dream. So she was like, who can help my daughter? Whatever.

So she messaged this guy, Mark, and was like, do you know anyone who maybe would want to like, I don't even know. Like, we didn't even know at the time, like, what the verbiage was or what the goal was. It was more so, just like, clearly, I was a kid who loved to sing. And what can we do with this? People also have this idea that my mom knew Scooter personally, because there's a picture that this is also I have to, again, contextualize peak of me being like hated online.

when I was like 16 years old. This rumor began to spread. And there's a picture of some woman with Scooter when in like college and people are like, this is Madison's mom and Scooter Braun in college. My mom's like 15 years older than Scooter, mind you. And also like.

we know it's just that. that's just not true. And at this point, I would just say, yeah, that she did. People have this idea that, like you, can buy your way. Like my dad wrote him a check and was like, sign my daughter.

You know how many kids would be famous? Yeah. Like, I just think it's just not. it's just not true. And it's quite silly.

And I think that obviously also what Scooter Braun, who had Justin Bieber as his artist, you think he really needed to sign little Madison Beer from Long Island? Like, it also didn't work out. So it wasn't like, you know, so I just yeah. So, basically, to make a long story short, Mark ended up connecting us with Scooter, who then showed to Justin. And that's how it all happened.

And it was just quite simple. And it was all very cool for me and very exciting. 12 year old me, I was just excited that Justin Bieber watched one of my videos.

And I know there are some people watching that are like, what the fuck is going on? The point is, is there was a conspiracy.

But I don't. I can't give you an answer as to why there's so many people that literally make things up about me or are just specifically mean to me. I feel like I've been a victim of like just no empathy. People are just mean and vicious and will like make fun of me and not give me any benefit of the doubt or assume that I'm a liar. And it's really hard.

But I don't know the reason. And I don't think that I'm at a place where I blame myself anymore, because I used to be like, oh, it has to be something. It has to be me. And I'm like, I didn't. I didn't do anything to people.

And I don't think that's true.

And there's like some weird fucking shit. for sure. You're so young. We've said you've been in the industry for 11 years. What made you want to write a memoir at 24??

But I don't know. I just think, like I said earlier, there's so much I wanted to say for so long that I just didn't feel was appropriate anywhere but a book format. Yeah, some kind. I didn't feel like a teary eyed Instagram post would really do it justice. I didn't feel like coming on here for the first time and like being this the first time I ever really said things was.

I just wanted it to be like me telling my story without anyone else. No strings attached. And I feel good about it. And I feel like it's definitely peculiar that someone so young is like writing a memoir. But I think it's bigger than just a memoir.

It's more of like, I guess, a tell all and just sort of me. And the reason it's called The Half of It is because I want people to understand that, obviously, just because you know now this, you still only know the half of it. And we have so much more to go. Like, I, have so much more life to live. And it's really just also about, like everyone, viewing each other as human and being like, wait, we're literally all trying.

And it's everyone's first time here that I don't really think that we deserve to scrutinize each other and be mean and make fun of each other and think everyone's a liar. And just just put like people should be, in my eyes, innocent until proven guilty, not vice versa. And I just, I don't know. I just hope this book makes some people a little more empathetic towards each other. And like, not to spoil the ending, but the last line in the book is like, now that you've read my story, I hope you realize that everyone has a story you just haven't read yet.

And that's the truth. And it's just the reality of life. And I think there's so many people who don't go through life with that perspective. And I think, looking at everyone as someone's child, as a probably wounded kid, we've all been through shit. And I just, not to sound too preachy, but like, just be nice and just love each other.

And I don't know.

Like, people don't know the half of it. And it's like, if we sit down and we take this as to heart of like, now, next time you open your phone, and you're someone. that's a mean person.

I don't feel like all my followers, A, give a shit. Let alone B, would care. So I'm like, I just feel like there's no point in, and this is for me, he is so cute. It's really only for me. Like, I think there's other people who feel differently and do feel like.

maybe I can use my platform and be more open and honest. But I just, I just don't feel like that audience cares.

It's not, it's just not for like my Instagram. Yes.

And what a privileged position am I in to be so lucky to like, have these deep connections with utter strangers through music and through vulnerability, hopefully through this book. Like, that's such a beautiful, awesome thing. And I, and I, and I do. And I, and obviously in the book, you'll read that, like, it comes to this sort of ending of like, I definitely made the right choice. And like, the answer is yes.

And moral of the whole story of like, all these fucked up things have happened is like, I'm still so grateful for all of it. And I wouldn't trade my position for the world. I just hope that me as a singular individual can make some sort of a positive impact on people. I hope people listen to this podcast and say like, ooh, maybe I shouldn't comment that this girl looks ugly in this video, because why the fuck should I? Or like, maybe I should hold the door for someone, because I never know what kind of day they had.

Like, I just think I want, I just want So Cheesy, The World to be a bit of a better place. And I want people to just be nicer to each other. And I think that this book is really about that specifically of just like, be empathetic.

Because, like, look, she's sitting here still. And like, there's more to her story and there's more to come. And hopefully it's going to be positive and there's going to be things that come from it. But I also agree, I hope people take from this, like, let's be more compassionate, because we have no fucking idea what anyone is going through. And they shouldn't have to put their life out there 24-7 to explain why you should be nice to people.

Next guest, please. Next guest coming.