Chris Robinson

And I feel confused about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in blues, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are going to be friends.

I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey there, welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a friend, joined, as always, by my chums, I suppose, contractual chums. Sonim obsession.

Listen, I was trying to do the introduction and you kept badgering me about my face, which you say is.

It looks extra red. Like you got a little sunburned, I did, or I'm having some sort of stroke. It could be that, but I think it's because I got a lot of sun. And I'll tell you why.

I was in New York City for a couple of days on business. I'm a man that's got affairs to manage, and I was walking around Manhattan a lot. You love to walk? I do like to walk.

The tropical paradise of Manhattan. Well, at this time of year, this time of year, late spring, early summer, yeah, and so nothing provides shade there.

Well, okay, this is a fun thing that you're doing. You know, I'm Fred Astaire trying to dance, and you keep throwing concrete cinder blocks at my feet anyway, yes.

I mean, So, yeah, okay, Perry Mason, he did get you. I'm consulting the almanac, he did.

It was closed. I think I was there for four days. But I got a lot of sun the first day walking around and then the rest of the time it was raining. I did have a very unique, just a very New York experience. My agent was walking with me. Rick Rosen.

We were walking hand in hand as agent and client. Do you were skipping? Yeah, I was skipping, la la la, la la.

He was taking 10 of my joy, but anyway, walking down the street. And this was on a sunny day. And this guy was probably in his thirties and he had that New York look of, you know, everyone there was honking their horns. Yeah, they honk a lot, they're big honkers, they honk a lot. Because the traffic was bad and people were uptight.

Big honkers, yeah. And I'm walking along with my agent and this guy is walking by and he looks kind of intense. And he sees me. And he says, I really fucking like your show, it's fucking good, but he said it.

And my agent said, What's he so mad about? And he's a fan of the podcast. But he said it like, I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, but if you just look at the transcript, what he said was quite nice. He said, I really fucking like you.

I like that fucking show. And then he kept walking and off to, I think, stab someone in the eye. But I was wondering, do you find people often like your material against their will? Yes, I think, oh, that makes sense.

That is one way to look at it is every. It was going against his better judgment and he was angry, but I also felt like that's probably how he proposed to his wife. Yeah, I want to marry you, I'm going to marry the shit out of you.

I'm going to put a fucking ring on your finger. We're going to be together for 50 years and be happy. Create eternal bond, be buried side by side. Fucker.

Like, but that's how that kind of felt, like who he was. I get a little angrier in New York because you have to be on your a-game. You know, you're walking and then you're behind someone who's slow, and you're like, this fucking person who's slow and you walk around.

I usually am pretty good about it, you are, you are what you are good about putting on sunscreen. Yeah, but I didn't do it when I was in New York because I thought the same thing.

You guys are thinking, I'm not going to put on sunscreen and walk around New York City and again, it didn't even seem that sunny out. I shouldn't live on planet Earth, yeah.

I don't think I belong on earth, all right. So what happens now? When you get a little burnt, like, do you have to like, go see your dermatologist?

No, okay, all right. I don't know how it works with you, I don't think I'm with me.

Yeah, I have to go into a hyperbaric chamber and I have to be attended to by mormons for nine weeks.

You got to know your references. Why were Mormons anyway? Howard Hughes was very controlling, and he wanted white male Mormons to take care of him. I think he thought, I mean, look, the man was kind of kooky. Yes, a little kooky.

I don't know how you sidetracked me, but I did what I thought was a clever reference and you could pick it up or not. But then-.

I didn't get the reference, I just asked. And you know what, if you were working for Howard Hughes, he'd be right now clawing at you with his 10 inch fingernails. To be fair, I kind of am working for Howard Hughes.

Oh, please, I have more money than him. Wait, what happened? That's me, that's my mom.

Oh my God, let me explain.

Okay, and people are probably going to be like, what?

And Eduardo, why don't you explain what could be happening to the electronic system? Wait, can we finish the story? because you didn't explain what happened? Just now? We'll get there in a second. Will you let the coach run the team?

Are you the coach? Yeah, I'm a very masculine coach. This is Friday night lights, this will be brief. Thankfully, the water spilled over two microphone ports that we don't use that often, but essentially, I've got a port I don't use too often.

But if we try to connect microphones to them, the likelihood is they're not going to work. Oh, is that true? Yeah, now do we have to take the whole table apart? I'll probably have to take the table apart at a future date and replace those two.

Wait, why did you build something that could? is it made of sugar? Why did you build something that was so fragile? Well, electronics and water are usually not a good combination unless you know what you're doing. Now. I'm just saying, Eduardo, I'm not Jesus Christ.

Did you even mention, coach, that you spilled water all over the table? Well, I think you're the one to blame. Because your alarm went off, I went to get your phone to turn it off. My microphone knocked over a glass of water.

Or can we put covers on the glasses? No, it wouldn't work because people frequently sip from the glasses. But if a microphone port is not in use, it should be covered, it should be covered. Should it not? Now tell me if you think I have a decent idea here, Adam.

Be fair, okay, you're so far away from a microphone, he said. It was raining in New York. I think we should cover the microphone ports.

What if your water just spilled all the way to Sona's mic, potentially, and Gorley's original mic? I would get to the water long before that happened. I have a comment to make. When you heard my phone go off, did you try to reach for my phone? Because you thought the phone was ringing and you wanted to answer it? No, I thought it was ringing with a soft g.

Oh gosh, I've never put up a wrap sign more fervently than this.

I think that's an egregious mistake. Give me a parking spot, give you a parking spot, you see how much space is back there, I know.

Now Jeff likes to come and cark in kind of a funky way. Of course, Adam has to be here, right? Yeah, but Jeff sends his car over. Even when he doesn't come in, he has someone drive his car over and wedge it into the parking space.

You do give me a free parking space, it's just like a block away, I don't want to walk there.

Of course, no, you can't, you can't be out in the sun. I think what we learned here is the following There was enough sun for me to get burned in New York.

So Adam, you lose. The microphone ports should be covered. You should have thought of that. Eduardo Sona You have a free parking space that's only a block away.

You could have gotten there and you should turn off your alarm when you come in. Conan wins again. Hey, my guest today is a musician and co-founder of the Black Crows, whose 10th studio album, Happiness Bastards, is out now.

Chris Robinson, welcome.

You are going to get so much attention from me, I adore you, you know that I am a massive fan of your work. We can get into all that.

But boy, you talk about, oh man. I've always wanted to meet Chris Robinson. And then from the first time I met you, when you would come on the Late Night show, you were so goddamn hilarious. And then I'm talking, I ran into you recently. And let's just say we hung out for a little bit, let's just say.

Let's just say, see what I mean about these mixed messages.

I think you mentioned your wife and I said, Oh, your wife, and you said, Yes, yes, my third wife. And then you said, I'm not afraid to love Conan.

And I would be like, Oh, I can do the rabbi who sells, you know, barbecue or whatever. Yeah, exactly. He thought I wasn't a good actor, but he thought I was funny and he was like, Oh, write some sketches, and then I started doing that.

And then the very first thing I ever did was stand-up comedy. At this club I opened for. What's the guy's name? Washington Older?

George Washington Not that guy.

But yes, George Wallace, I opened for him, that's crazy, and it was horrible.

I dream about, you know, getting to live that life. And I don't even mean in a big way. I mean, if I was just touring and just barely getting by in an old van.

And I dream, too.

I'm telling you I would take....

So around 1990 is when I'm.

Around the time I'm leaving SNL, I'm going to go work on the Simpsons. And I am driving around a lot alone. And I am listening to shake your money maker until the thing just....

I think I had a.

It was back when you would slide a CD into the Ford Taurus you were driving around, and that's a true story.

Into the Ford Taurus. This is so great. And then flash forward a little time. And I'm about to leave the Simpsons and I know that something big is going to happen in my life. I can just sense it. I'm about to take on this late night show.

And the Southern Harmony and Musical Companion comes out, and for my money, as much as I know, Shake your money maker was the atomic bomb blast. I think the Southern Harmony and Musical Companion is a perfect, perfect album.

You have a van that's ready, but you just never use it. I have all these tools, but I don't use those either.

There must be a chat room for that.

And Jimmy has this look of like, I've seen it all, I'm sorry. And he didn't know what it was. But a bear came out in a diaper and started masturbating in front of him. On national television. And he was just like, Oh, this happened in 72 in Seattle, my boy.

You know what I mean, this is nothing.

I don't buy a masturbating bear.

Yeah, it was, so there was a picture, I gotta find it, but I got it framed. I love it so much. And it's you and your brother and Jimmy between you and the bear batting at the bulge in his diaper.

And I was like, he's right, maybe that's why I've never done it.

I don't know why I'm the way I am, but it's like, I didn't do group sex and I don't do all. You can eat sushi, you know what I mean?

When you see all you can eat. I don't know if that's something that I want access to as much as I can, until I vomit or whatever. It's just weird.

I'm not that kind of person I liked a relationship doesn't mean I was very good at them. Until very recently. The jury is still out. But what if you meet a girl and she doesn't have any big star records?

You know what I mean you're like?

Your shoes don't go with this outfit, you know what I mean?

All they need to know, as far as I'm concerned.

Is you were a game show host?

The trajectory that you guys went through, I think in the space of, I don't know if it's like a year. Maybe you go from playing to. I think you've said, maybe 18 people in a room.

21..

And we were like, Cool, and he was like, Oh man, thanks for coming over, I just wanted to meet you guys. I don't know if you're prepared for what's going to happen, and we were like, you're going to pay for lunch.

I didn't know we're prepared for that. I have $8..

You just sold 800 million records. But no, we're not getting lunch, never mind, never mind.

But what fame he goes, you just hang on.

Think about those things. It's the same thing I was teasing before about reading a book or whatever. At the end of 1991, we're in Europe and David Bowie is in a band called Tin Machine. I remember that guitar player who's now in the cure.

Fantastic guitar player, great guy. I haven't seen him in a little while. We were all in Dublin together and it was funny. I look back on this day, it was funny.

You want to have breakfast with me and David Bowie? I was like, Yeah, of course I do. He's paying, right, I'm just kidding.

But he's David Bowie.

He's already this archetype of a certain thing that we associate culturally with rock and roll. What am I going to be like? Well, there was that time I was in the studio last week, I hadn't traveled, I haven't done anything.

He was very aloof, but I realized, what did I have to offer that conversation? Even if I'm smart? Whatever? It wasn't adding up.

Edge has a birthday party at his mansion. We're invited to that. So Bono was there, he was dressed as Shea Rivera, which he was. It was Shea Rivera night.

So I thought he was, it wasn't Paul Pott, I'll tell you that.

Guys.

I'm not saying Shea is a bad person, not at all, he's a revolutionary.

He goes, You poor bastard, you'll never sell that many records again. You know that? I was like, Jesus Bono, I don't know what's going to happen.

Oh, I do, I'm bono, look at me, I'm in my fatigues.

But he said that in a way, though, I get it, because other bands, bands that we love.

Every story is different. To get to where you end up. I always envied the You Have One record. It's pretty good you could terrace up this thing and start to learn your way around an industry and a business that can be horrible.

Some of the worst people in the world. Again. It's the same thing when you sign your first record contract and the lawyer goes, This is the worst thing you'll ever see. I'll sign that.

Even if it is successful, my children will know. No, I'll sign that, you know what I mean, you do it, because at the time there's nothing else.

But if you put in the time and you can hang in there, then you get to say. If you want more of what I'm doing, I would like to set the terms now.

I've never even seen five seconds of it. I thought it would be funny. I don't know if it's funny, if you're just being nice.

I'm always stunned now. It used to be an epic run. If a TV show was on for six years, it was like, Wow, you guys did six years and you're going to go into syndication. Now. I'm constantly seeing that a show that I swear to God, sounds like it just went on the air three years ago. Not even the Bachelor or the Bachelorette, but Bachelorette's on stilts.

They'll say, we're celebrating our 40th season.

Can I tell you a funny story, though?

The artwork is done, they're going to give us the release date. We had a show in a place called Rome, Georgia. There's a boarding school there that my dad and Rich actually went to. They had a little bar up there and we'd play there.

Occasionally, we'd drive the van up, it's like 90 miles. We were called Mr. Crow's Garden.

It just didn't fit our little jangly, psychedelic 60s kind of name, didn't fit what we were doing, George, and everyone said, you need a new name. We liked the crows. That's why we keep the E in it because of the book, Mr.

Crow.

And we say, in the van, that's it. Today, we had a couple of names. We're the Black Crows from here. No matter what happens, we were all in on this. Yes, we make that decision.

We go to the gig, we set up our gear, we do soundcheck. There's a band that's opening for us, that's like a dad and a daughter and a cousin, and some family band.

I don't know if they were Christians, I don't know what they were doing.

When we come back, those guys finish their set, we look like we're doing a gig. It's a real fucking gig. We're the fucking Black Crows. We made an album.

We walk out on stage, we fucking open with jealous again. The only people in the club are the dad, the daughter and the cousin. Hold on, they're sitting there and they're eating subway sandwiches while we're playing.

Four people, the opening band. We're like, jealous again, blah, blah, blah.

Wow, I'm like, yes.

I thought when I read that description.

We didn't learn music rich, and I don't know any music. If you put it in front of us, I don't know what key I'm singing. It is something that we've developed.

Yes, of course, we know a little bit of music 35 years later, but it's really just a visceral connection to what it is. In the same way, that's how we write. Rich will play me the little. It could be the littlest thing, it could be a rhythmic thing, a seventh note, it could be whatever it is dictates. That's where I start, that's where I come in.

This song.

Whatever the theme is going to be comes from something she talks to. Angels is a great example. We were still living at mom and dad's house.

When we started mucking around with Open E, that song is funny because it was very easy to write a scene or a story about. I knew someone that looked a certain way, who I at the time had heard was into heroin or hard drugs, but I don't know. They never had a child or lost a child.

I can tell that story without just whatever that little thing is rich plays me. I've written many songs by myself, written songs with other people, and it's different. That's what he and I do. Between our OCD and dyslexia, we make one functioning songwriter.

We're one, Billy Joel.

I'm picturing.

Billy Joel, who doesn't shower?

Yes, that's so fucking crazy. I was like, What is he?

Count Chocula Yeah, count Chocula, Well, you're not coming to my castle.

And then him being on Billy Joel was on Saturday Night Live and he was performing that song. We didn't start the fire, but then it's the whole list of like.

And he's standing there and he's singing that song, listing things, and Jim Downey's standing there and he turned to me and he went, He's just listing things.

This is when it was like the number one song in the country. But Jim Downey knew he's just listing things.

It's like, Oh, bring me my Encyclopedia Britannica.

Which ones do you want? All of them, all of them.

Sorry, I didn't know why he does the breaks into the vampire sound.

There was a Seattle punk thing that was starting to happen.

And then you guys and you're, I think you've called it Mick Jagger, circa 1970.

We went to England for the first time and they had a place called Kensington Market. Fabulous, amazing place. Like crazy stalls and homemade wild clothes and all sorts of stuff, punk things, goth things, whatever it could be. And I bought a pair of maroon kind of bell bottoms.

And we came back to the states and we were on tour with Aerosmith, funny enough.

But we played a gig in Rochester, New York, there's a baseball stadium there, and it was Black Crows. Warrant, Metallica, Aerosmith. We're on first and I remember this.

And I come out of the thing and I'm like wearing my bell bottom. The way we look and people are like snickering at me and I'm like, Y'all, motherfuckers, laugh all you want. I look cool, I feel cool.

And we went up and did the gig. And a lot of Metallica fans are carving pentagrams and bleeding in their hands. Fuck you.

And I'm like, bring it up here, big boy.

They're fucking throwing tennis shoes and golf balls and shit at us. I'm like, who's bringing golf balls?

Bang, bang. And so we did it and we brought a pocket full of fucking golf balls to this gig. Security, so we do the gig. And some people, I can imagine we're still here. But we were like, this, you know, fuck y'all, we're going to do our fucking thing and you can't stop us.

That's part of this weird rock and roll thing. So we go backstage and we played 30 minutes or whatever. Warrant is going on next and they come out of the trailer. In these little matching outfits, they look like the Osmond family. You know what I mean?

Crazy horse hands.

One's got a blue shirt, one's got a white shirt, blue pants, white legs, you know, little outfits, and these guys are wearing these little. At the time, I guess they had never saw the Osmond family. So the stadium, I don't know. There's 50,000 people in there and you just hear, warrant sucks, warrant sucks, and that whole place is ringing this out.

It's loud.

And they're on their sweatpants and got on the bus and they left, and I was like, I mean, I get it. They didn't even know we were the Black Crows enough to say we sucked, we would have gone out anyway.

And Aerosmith, which is totally cool, of course. But I was like, if you really believe in Metallica weather, the storm, get up there, give it to them. You don't know, you can't just fold.

I'm not picking on them, I'm sure they're rad dudes. I don't hang out with them at the all-you-can-eat sushi place.

But I'm just no, you have to say this is what we're doing, you can't ask.

The essence of not just rock and roll, but comedy is this is what we're doing and there's no going back. And you just have to say this is what it is. And if you're asking permission, it's not going to work.

The reality of art and being an outside person in the world.

It's not about conforming, we're not doing that. You know what? I mean, it's just not going to fit. If you think this is mental illness, wait till you see trying to force something that doesn't work in that way.

And I think that.

That's part of what you want to say, part of the way we wanted to sound, the way we wanted to look. Was defiant towards other things that were going on. And I think in the corporate landscape of today, and just the way the culture works, outside of what is the to me, it's status really rules everything, but to obtain a certain amount of status, you have to comply. And you know what I mean?

So our whole philosophic slant was defiance.

You're defiant in the face of the business that says you're from Atlanta and you're not in L.

A.

We had lots of managers listen to Shake your moneymaker and said, that singer is horrible because this is at the age of.

Everyone's very high voice and metal and rock, things like that, and I didn't sing that way. And it was like, we don't know what this is, which is kind of funny today that we have a record out now, that it's different. Because, of course, we have three decades plus of people knowing what it is. But that it has the reaction that it has had.

To the new Ford Taurus just coming out.

That's the kind of cloud I have, it's made of gold.

Happiness Bastards and I've been blasting this and it's great, it's fantastic, and you guys haven't missed a beat, you really haven't.

It doesn't feel like it at all. I think it's been 15 years since the last time you guys worked together.

He's a little submarine.

You know, the cynicism in the world is, Oh, you're going to do this. It's a money crap. And it's funny because rich is like people who don't know about the music business is. No matter where we are, we're still the Black Crows and we're worth tickets.

And we put on a good show, so every year we didn't do the Black Crows. Someone calls up and goes, You know, I'll tell you what? If you guys get it together, we'll put you out there. Here's what money's going to be. I just think of a guy....

It's just a guy in cowboy boots and a gold chain.

I just had had enough of the black crows and knowing full well that I'm a part of the problem. I'm not the solution. I am a part of the problem. We all were at the time, but I did have.

It was great for Rich and I, you know what I mean, because what does every band say in a documentary? I was watching my Bloody Valentine or some Shoegaze documentary. And they were like, if we had just taken six months off, it wouldn't have blown up. And you don't do it.

You just don't do it. I don't know what. That is youth ambition, that thing, Izzy Stradlin said when it takes off.

They get older and they're like, I have cousins.

Yeah, you do.

What's with the resentment? And it just turned out to be a perfect time. And again, we're not that clever. It just felt right and we could deal with each other and subsequently it's been fantastic.

And that us versus them sort of mentality is real, and I think it's important in terms of like.

We felt that way about art, we felt that way about rock and roll, we feel that way about a lot of things because we're passionate. And we believe that there's something else, that's not just status, that's not just success. The way it looks like, there's something magic in making music.

There's something magic about listening to it, about being inspired by it, about going to see live music. You know what? I mean? Our house is just full of records, and when I'm not making music, I'm driving everyone crazy because we just listen to music. And it's probably because of the way my mind works. Music starts to make the unreal real, it gives it a certain construct.

Your daily life.

I just don't want to do it, but if I put the earbuds in. And a good example is listen to Black Crowes.

Cranked into my ears, I can suddenly do things that I couldn't do before, and I don't know what that is, but I'm suddenly. And everyone's experienced this. This isn't a new thing.

And I start to have ideas and I start to feel like I've got this.

I come up with all these ideas for fun, cool things I'd like to try and do. And as soon as my heart rate starts to slow down afterwards, I go....

I think what's changed is there is an obsession, not just in music, but in.

There's an obsession across the board comedy, music, film, with the business side of it as a status thing. And I don't think artists used to talk about that. But now it's kind of seen as a cool thing if you're seen as like a corporate brand.

And I don't think that used to be the case.

But it's like whether it was Gregory Corso, William Burroughs, Keith Richards, Alex Chilton, Robert Altman.

They were all video games. You know what I mean? I'm like, whoa, oh my god. His mom lets him wear a diaper so he doesn't have to go to the bathroom, you know what I mean?

He's a very committed champion.

I do, do you see what I'm sort of getting at? which is a lot of times that's what I mean.

I don't know how many ads they did. And now it has become the narrative for everyone, and I think that's so much to navigate. Just focus on what's the thing you're making, try and make something....

We do the opposite. It didn't, yes, my ego or whatever as a singer, sagittarian young person, but it humbled me in the face or in the presence of the tradition that I'm working in. You know what I mean? I think also being the kind of band we were because of our influences, I'm meeting my heroes.

I'm not hanging out so much with my peers.

But every time it was like, Oh, Joe Cocker knows my name and wants to give me a hug. Or Ian Hunter from The Hoople, the first rock star who came to one of our shows in New York, the great Ronnie Lane, was in his wheelchair when his partner brought him down. He wanted to meet us in, not even a dressing room in the ice. We were opening for this band in our first time in Austin in March of 1990, and there's a knock on the door.

And the waiters are filling up the ice buckets while he's in there and we're putting our clothes on after the show. And he was just like, Oh, I just want to meet you guys. You've said so many nice things about my music and I will remember it forever.

Rob Tyner from the MC5 First time we play in Livonia, outside of Detroit, there he is in the dressing room.

The people that I saw on television be funny when I was 8 years old, it's like seeing a Greek God in real life.

And we're just thrilled we're having a great time.

Conan here got a little segment to do, and I don't know anything about this segment because Matt Gorley has some scheme up his sleeve. What's up a long time ago? I don't know if you remember this, I think you did. A riff about inspirational posters that you might see in a grade school class or something, but with some unexpected phrases on them. Well, a wonderful, wonderful listener named Timothy Sanders, who has some of the nicest penmanship I've ever seen.

Beautiful looks like a cyrillic typewriter. He's taken it upon himself.

To say it, starting with these lovely turtles, you're the one that you knew you had to be. Are these ones that we said on the air that I was making up bullshit? Those are great.

Watch yourself get married with a glass of water, that's fantastic.

That's a Volkswagen thing, I believe. Popular car in the 70s. A story of spontaneous podcast banter tomorrow is yesterday's idea that you ate a team Coco paperback.

You can't judge yourself from within. Well, that's actually a good one, and I love that cat just hanging in there.

I'm not sure they were.

Some of them are I farted?

William Thackeray Yes.

Back that shit up, of course. Jane Austen, That's my favorite one, I remember that one. Now it's coming back to me and for the listeners. If you want to see these, you can go to our YouTube channel and check them out, or go to at Team Coco on socials and take a look.

Yeah, these are fun.

And a picture of sexy Lincoln? Those are great? yeah, aren't those amazing? He is sexy in that picture? Yeah, I'd hit that for sure.

Look at that.

6'4 Just like your friend Conan, don't compare yourselves.

Anyway, that's our business. It's good friends, and when we're on the circuit together riding, sometimes you come to an inn. What circuit?

Growing up, this is as a freshman in college, I was like, Yay, I'm a pie. I can't believe you guys didn't have bunk beds.

Growing up in your house, my brothers and I slept three in a room for a while. Yeah, that's why I'm surprised it was before Justin was born, so it was. Neil and Luke were in twin beds, and I was in a cot at the foot of their bed for a bunch of years.

And my cot was up against the wall and my mother used to put us. This is way back in the day.

It must have been mid-1960s or whatever. They give you these little brown shoes that you wore. My mother would make me take a nap every day at three in the afternoon and I didn't want to take a nap. So I put my back on the bed and with my shoes on, I would kick at the wall with my heels. Why were you napping with your shoes on? Because I wouldn't take them off because I'm not going to kick the wall with my bare feet.

And my mom would just let me kick it out and I swear to God.

I'm not going to kick this house in Brookline, Massachusetts, because my parents still live there. And I want to take off the paint. And you will see little conan feet that are crushed into the plaster. Because I was so enraged that I was being told I had to take a nap at three. Now, I would love it if someone told me to go take a nap at three.

Cots are small. Did your feet dangle off the edge? I was a little boy when someone's a little boy.

But you also.

You're thinking, it's like a sketch. Here comes baby Conan. Hi everybody, I'm wearing a diaper and goo goo ga ga.

Duck your head six foot four Conan baby.

It was a weird place for me. I was at the end of a long haul in the attic. Who should we send to the attic? All I wanted was a desk up there and a bunch of rubber stamps because I wanted to stamp papers. Oh my god.

I was obsessed with having a little office and I was always like, I've got to go tend to my affairs. Bing, bing, bing, bing. Signed papers and I had some stamps that meant nothing like remit. You should have put rubber stamps on the soles of your shoes.

Tuesday addams. Anyway, I grew up in....

No, on leap year, she's Tuesday, addams.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Steering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode.