Goofy Goo

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Okay, let's get started.

Hi, Steven.

How are you?

How are you?

I like you already, Steven.

You're giggling.

We haven't said anything.

You just seem like a happy guy.

Yeah, I'm pretty happy most of the time.

I mean, you know.

But you seem like a pretty, I'm going to use the term, happy chappy.

The sun is always at your back.

What?

I don't know.

I'm just.

That's not right.

Steven, I came in today.

At your back?

I don't know.

I'm just.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I'll try and be a little more normal.

I got out of the case of the goofies today, you know, and I'm just covered in, you know,

goofy goo.

I don't know what to do.

Let's make it about you and then back to me and then we'll stick on me.

Steven.

Your name is Steven.

And where are you coming from, sir?

OK, very cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love New Mexico.

I think that's an amazing place.

I love that whole area of the United States.

Absolutely gorgeous.

It's the foothills of the Gila Wilderness here.

I grew up in, you know, Boston and Massachusetts.

And when I got out to the real Southwest for the first time as a young man in my early

20s, it blew my mind.

I just saw a whole different world and felt liberated.

So that was pretty cool.

Yeah.

I moved here from Washington State about two years ago.

OK.

My wife is from Seattle.

Yeah.

Don't you call her Liza.

OK.

She took a real step down.

I see.

Yeah.

Her father, the Archduke, said this is a terrible mistake.

So you're from Silver City, New Mexico.

And what do you do, Steven?

Are those two separate things or, in your opinion, do you meld the two in your jewel

making?

I make talisman jewelry, so I do bespoke custom pieces for people based on their astrology.

That's cool.

So I guess you interview people first.

You ask them a bunch of questions.

You learn about them and then you try and make a piece.

Maybe you work with them and make a piece that fits their spiritual vibe.

I mean, yeah, spiritual vibe, I guess you could say that.

Well, no.

Again, I'm covered in goofy goo, so don't listen to me.

It starts with an astrology reading.

And so I do a birth chart reading with somebody.

We go over what their intentions are in this lifetime, which is what I see the astrology

chart can help us see.

And then through that reading, learn about them.

And then, you know, we all have our strengths, weaknesses, things like that.

And with working with the stones and the metals, I can collaborate with that and create something

that helps them really live what they want to live in this life.

So clearly you're a very spiritual person.

Yeah.

I would say so.

I definitely would say so.

The.

All right.

Talk to us for a second.

Are there other jewelers in town that do the same kind of thing, you know, that you're

competing with?

Actually, I'm the only jeweler with a shop here in Silver City.

That's fantastic.

Go somewhere else?

If I were you, I'd be if I had the only jewelry shop in town, I'd be an incredible dick about

it.

Yeah, you would.

I would.

I know.

You would.

Hey, hey, hey.

Just the second they walk in.

What are you going to do?

You going to walk away?

I don't think so.

Yeah.

This is a paper clip.

It's $6,000.

What are you going to do?

Steven, don't listen to any of my advice.

I'm a terrible.

Thank you.

I'm a terrible person.

He's got Virgo rising.

You know, I was actually looking at your chart, Conan, because you can look online and find

people's birth info.

Yeah.

No, I know.

It's all on the internet.

Yeah.

And Conan O'Brien, April 18th, 1986.

So it's all there.

1986, you said?

Yeah.

Very young.

Oh, wait.

Snatch that in there.

That's it.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

I'm putting this on your seat.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Virgo rising.

What can you tell me about myself?

in your 6,000.

It's so obvious.

Well, the thing that's obvious about it is, you know, you talk a lot about your self-esteem

and self-worth and how hypercritical you are of yourself.

I've heard you say this.

Also, Virgo rising, super analytical person in general, this is one of the things.

in general, and then you read the charts, it feels like it pretty much lines up, yes?

Yeah.

A lot of things.

Really interesting.

I mean, your comedy.

I mean, you're in Aries.

Aries are impulsive.

It totally makes sense for you as far as the comedy you do, the weird shit you do.

I think innovative, groundbreaking.

Really weird shit.

Iconic.

Anyway.

My doctor says my shit is weird, too.

It's literally weird.

It's blue.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

Little marshmallows in it.

Anyway, that's not the point.

So, Steven, please.

You brought up...

Please.

Let's get off of poop.

I don't know who brought that up, and that was probably Sona.

Anyway.

Yes.

This is...

Because I'd be interested maybe in...

You seem like a very creative person.

I bet you're very good at what you do.

What kind of piece do you think, based on what you know, if I had walked into your shop

and was interested, what are the ideas that you would have for the piece that you would

make for me?

I mean, adding stones like Mahogany Obsidian.

It's a grounding stone.

Saturn-related, as well.

So something that can help you bring out self-worth.

Rhodolite Garnet would also be something in there, incorporated in it.

Tanzanite might also be a good stone.

It's good for self-esteem.

Also connecting the head and the heart.

So those kinds of themes.

Probably something in gold, too.

It's a masculine metal, right?

So bringing out that masculinity.

I don't know if you actually need that, but...

These guys both need a lot of gold.

So much gold.

And can it spell out something masculine?

My dainty shawl-neck sweater.

It's a shawl-neck.

It must go with my shawl-neck!

I want to increase my masculinity, but it can't clash with my shawl-neck!

Steven, what would this piece look like?

You know?

What would this piece look like?

Would it be...

I mean, it sounds almost like you're talking about...

Are you talking about something I'd wear around my neck?

Are you talking about...

What are you thinking?

I mean, I wouldn't be like Flava Flav, you know?

It's a huge piece, right?

Because I know what time it is.

Oh, okay.

No, we don't want to go the Flava Flav route as much as I admire him.

So you're thinking maybe something...

And would these be like little beads made of those materials?

They'd be stone-set.

You know, I have...

I mean, this is more of a Flava Flav piece.

This is a giant piece of turquoise.

I mean, it's beautiful.

It's gorgeous.

before her back gave out.

like what I'm wearing here.

That's very cool.

And what I'm interested in is I really want it to represent the podcast.

So I'm thinking a piece that represents me

and then two large, heavy stones weighing me down.

Like an albatross, you know?

Like my piece is trying to take flight

and these two heavy, dense pieces of cement.

Really?

Nothing valuable.

Cement are just dragging me down,

keeping this bird from taking wing and soaring.

Wait, who's you here?

He's the chode and we're the big ball.

Oh, yeah.

But wait, don't you want to pick something feminine for yourself?

No, I want to be a testicle.

I want to be bald.

Trust me, you can be.

There are many days where you come in and you are just a...

I'm like, wow, she's a testicle today.

You're a chode.

You know, it's there.

But we're there, you know?

Okay, well, I don't like that you made mine small.

It's small and fat.

I often said my penis is me.

Very long, thin, and filled with worry.

And it has sharp little cheekbones.

We don't know what the fuck that's all about.

I'd be interested to, you know, see the different shapes that you come up with.

You know, it's very cool.

Like things that kind of are symbolic of the stars or other things.

Whatever symbolism comes through in the piece as well.

I mean, that's part of the process.

After we have a reading, then I sit with it.

And really, inspiration comes through at some point.

You know, I see something that makes me think, oh, this would be great for Conan's piece.

Or, you know, some kind of download like that.

And, as you say, would rein me in a little bit and calm me down.

You know?

Would be great.

These are all things I've tried through pharmaceuticals.

But, with limited success.

Some success, I want to point out.

I'm a believer in that.

It does work.

But, yeah, maybe you've got the right idea.

I'm a big believer that we don't know everything.

There's a lot we don't know.

And so, I'm not a cynic about what you're talking about.

I think anything's possible.

I mean, I'm not the first person to make intentional objects like this.

The Founding Fathers, yes.

I didn't realize they were really into jewelry.

And a lot of the paintings.

They probably painted it out of a lot of the paintings that they're wearing.

Giant medallions that say Swingin' Dick on them.

Which one had that?

Come on, Jefferson.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Franklin had a giant medallion that said, Back That Shit Up.

But it was in French because he was always in France.

Trying to get some French lady to back that shit up.

And they had to paint over it.

Just such a drag.

It was sad.

He tried to just get fancy with his teeth, which was very sad.

And it said, Chew Thoroughly.

He's such a sourpuss.

Anyway, this is all stuff that's historically accurate.

You can check it out.

Oh, okay.

Good.

He'll Google it.

I'm impressed.

I really am.

I think Stephen's on to something.

Do you believe objects have power?

I have to say that I think objects have power to the degree that I'm answering this seriously.

I think the human mind is really powerful.

I think there's a lot we don't understand.

And I think that objects in and of themselves might not have power.

But if you are investing them with power, if you're trying to connect with them, if you believe something soothes you, it will soothe you.

So I think there's some kind of connection there.

I'm not sure.

And like I say, I don't know.

In general, I'm wary of stuff.

Like any human being, I love stuff.

But I'm also very wary of it, that kind of idea that it can weigh you down in this life and you want to be unencumbered from it.

And that's that constant yin-yang battle between I want to get rid of my stuff and, gee, I'd like to have more stuff.

I think that's 95% of the human condition.

Anyway, in this part of Los Angeles it is.

So I don't know.

I'm intrigued by everything you're talking about.

And do I know for a fact that some of the elements that you brought up would have a difference?

I don't know.

But why not?

Why wouldn't they?

Why not give it a shot?

Why not?

I mean, it's intention, right?

And they're beautiful.

And, you know, we're here for a short time.

And then, you know, it's something you can pass on to somebody else.

And it tells you something about them.

So, you know, like if I pass this on, I'm sure my kids would, well, they'd probably look at it and say, what can we get for this?

Put it on you.

Holy hockey.

The moment you're gone, they're just going to take everything that you held valuable and just sell it on you.

Including letters that say, I love you.

You mean so much to me.

I'm so proud of you.

You're the best son I ever have.

Well, it doesn't have much market value.

Shredder.

Gee, that letter was, you could have just folded it up and put it in your desk drawer.

It takes up space.

Really?

A folded note?

Yeah.

Well, they're practical.

So, yeah, no, I think so.

I do.

I like what you're doing.

I appreciate it.

I think it's really cool.

And I'm, you know, part of me wants to move to your street and set up a rival jeweler across the street.

Just so you'll have competition.

Of course.

And, like, slash all my prices, but the stuff is just shit.

Yeah.

But I'm just practically giving it away.

And then I go by your place and make a lot of noise with a cowbell.

I don't know, it's bringing out this kind of side of me that just wants to do that.

But then again, if I was wearing your jewelry, I wouldn't do that.

Because my heart and mind would be connected.

You wouldn't be smearing shit on my window.

Why are you helping him?

Smearing shit.

Why are you giving him ideas?

He's your competition.

You're blue marshmallow shit.

Smearing blue marshmallow shit on Stephen's window.

Well, Stephen, it was really nice meeting you.

I'm very intrigued by what you do.

I'd love to come by sometime, because I would love to get to Silver City, New Mexico.

And it would be cool to consult with you.

I think it would be neat.

Yeah, I'd go for a visit.

Yeah, that would be fantastic.

Well, very nice to meet you, sir.

Go forth and do good works.

Take care.

Have a good one.

Thank you.

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