Lani with an Ā

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Okay, let's get started.

Hi Lainey. Lainey, how are you?

I'm great, how are you doing?

Doing really well. So let's set up the story here because this is a little unusual. A lot of people sort of cold call in and we talk to them you. I need to disclose the truth. I was chatting with backstage Beacon Theater.

Yes, sir.

Okay, why don't you set the stage? What was the event? Do you remember the event? Because I do so many events.

Love rocks.

Yes, Love Rocks, they had an amazing band for Love Rocks. It's a great charity where they feed people who are in need in Los Angeles and give them nutritious meals. I think people who are being hospitalized or in some kind of treatment, it's a great thing.

It was a surreal group of people, it was really cool.

And so you and I are chatting backstage and I think you were saying, you're a fan and I can't remember. I think I said, Well, you know, you should call into the show sometime. Did I say it like that?

I cheated, for sure, I think I was standing in there just like a babbling idiot, just nonverbal, I went fully nonverbal. And then Rebecca from Larkin Poe stopped you as you were trying to leave and told you that I was a gross fan of yours.

What does gross fan mean? because I didn't hear the term gross fan? did she say, gross fan?

She might have said, like, aggressive or intense, but all the same.

Let me reveal something to you, this is all a trick just to get your information so that we can check on you. Because your intensity of your fanhood was such that we thought we need to get eyes on you. A welfare check? we need, yeah, a welfare check.

Well, I mean, if she's that big a fan of you, I'm a little worried about it.

You're concerned for her, you're concerned for her employability in the world. No, I just think, you know, we have law officers watching, so this whole thing's being monitored. I just want you to know that right now.

No, sir, I'm in Nashville.

I love the No. Sir, Yes, I'm in the military. You live in Nashville and so do you work with Larkin Poe because they're fantastic.

Yes, I work with them and a couple other touring camps.

Okay, so you're with Larkin Poe? And they actually tried to convince me to bring my guitar out on stage and just wing it with them. Oh, you should have, and I was telling them, I'm too scared to wing it with Larkin Poe. Or pretty much anybody.

Just let go, man.

No, that's not a good idea.

Yeah, oh, what's the worst that could happen?

Oh, I'll show it to you.

Larkin splits with Poe.

Yeah, Poe won't speak to Larkin, Larkin won't speak to Poe. Conrad O'Brien destroys Larkin and Poe Larkin, and Poe is now a law firm.

What a rollercoaster that was.

That was a crazy ride, I should have gone out there. Yes, so when did you get addicted to? I shouldn't say addicted to, but you became a fan through the podcast, of course, through somebody.

Jesus Yeah.

I'm sorry, she's clearly obsessed. Oh, and it's dangerous. Well, through the podcast.

That means you like me and Gourley too, right?

Oh, might be a little bit more so than Gourley, yes.

You can go.

So I'll just show myself out.

Well, I say that sensitively, because isn't that, you know, the point of the podcast? yeah?

Kind of, yeah, no, it's true.

A little bit.

People like to see me inflate myself, float up to the ceiling, and then these two, what, like you had a piñata, you bashed me with sticks.

You're so good at setting it up, though you are, you're a master at self-deflation, perpetual self-deflation.

You brought her on to this show.

Yes, I brought you on to deflate me, but wait, tell us about your life. So you are with these different. You work with several bands and you hit the road with them. Is that right?

Yes, sir. Mm-hmm. I travel with them, it depends on which camp I'm in, but I usually just take care of instruments.

Any groups I'd know besides Larkin Poe? mm-hmm.

Reba Mcentire.

Oh my god.

Wait, what was the last one?

Maren Morris Oh, wow.

Wow.

Jesus, this is legit. How did you? You seem very young? how did you get into this? This is a good gig.

I'm very lucky, it's very cool. I'm 25, yes, and I started when I was 21 22 with Terry Clark. Her tour manager at the time was a friend of mine, and he just needed somebody to fill in on a weekend tuning guitars.

Now when you tune a guitar, this, I know there's a little device now that goes on the neck of the guitar, so you can tune it pretty quickly. Right? And is it just that the musicians are too lazy to do it for themselves? Is that what's going on here?

I think it's a matter of cleaner transitions and making sure that the guitar stays in tune. Because they're subject to the elements outside humidity, wind, heat, all of that.

I think Reba's lazy, I think Larkin and Poe are lazy, I think Terry Clark's lazy. I mean, I think it would be very humbling and good for their fans to see them occasionally stop and tune their guitar in front of everybody. It shows them that they're down in the muck with the rest of us.

Do you tune yours?

Oh, they still see that.

Hey, why can't? Here's my question.

You didn't answer.

Please, here's my question. I have nine, I have six people tuning my guitar, one for each string, I have a guy for the low E and the high E.

Two different guys, two different e guys.

Yeah, two different e guys. I'm not going to let my low e guy mess with my high e guy. I see I keep them in separate rooms, I have six people, each dedicated to one string.

You got a truss rod, guy.

Oh, yeah, okay, that's another guy. Yeah, I've got a pickguard guy.

Cable guy.

How dare you jump in there?

Honestly, Adrona, that was out of line.

That was out of line, Eduardo. We were having a really good time. And then you jump in with your capo bit, which, by the way, he tries every time and it's never appropriate again.

It's crazy.

He's always going, What about the capo? And I'm like, I'm trying to talk to Francis Ford Coppola about Megalopolis, and you keep saying, Capo, Oh, sorry, how do you?

Do you still have skills at your tech?

Oh, you know about skills, yes.

Yeah, I got to meet him at Beacon Theater, I meant to connect with him, but it didn't work out.

What'd you think of skills?

Oh, he's awesome, yeah.

He's really cool, No, I'm kidding.

We were able to get along a lot.

And it chills.

Skills has been with me since we did our big tour in 2010. And his job every night is I would open the show and do this song that would turn into a dance. And then I would throw my stratocaster up in the air. And he would catch it, and he caught it every night. It was absolutely-.

Were you worried?

No, no, I could always get another guy. It's the stratocaster.

Yeah, we had a lot in common, having very similar artists. We work for you and Rebecca Lovell.

Oh so, you're saying that you also work with difficult and sane people. Is that what you're saying?

I would say, more so chaotic than anything else, kind of unpredictable.

Yes, I am a chaos agent. Yes, yes, I think I'm unpredictable.

L-a-n-i?

L-a-n-I So it's just Do you say Lanny or Lainey?

Lainey.

LAINEY Okay, that's a cool name.

Where's the e?

Yeah, that's a good question. She doesn't need it.

Does this look like a girl who needs an E? I'm not really sure.

How many people say Lonnie?

Right, a lot more than you think.

Because it doesn't.

You should put a line over the A, so people know that it's like the.

The true A, you know, that flat line they do, that means it's the Lon, Yeah, Lanny.

Because that would also give you kind of a cool name, you know, Cachet, you're just a one-named Lainey.

Just change your name, yeah.

Could you do?

Gertrude.

I actually like Lainey a lot.

That's.

On my watch, No. But the artist has forgotten their instrument at home and realized when we got to the gig, that has happened.

Why did REba do that?

But.

Reba would never.

Reba did. It was Reba. I know it was. it was the one night Reba was going to play the tuba.

That's awful.

Got a little hillbilly-ish, but.

It's really bad. Everyone loves Reba.

Everyone does love Reba.

I wish I had a sitcom, I'll get one, it's going to be called Conan. I just thought of it, yeah.

What's the premise?

The premise is exactly like, Reba Yeah, I have red hair and I'm living with my family and I don't know they're a handful.

You had a show named Conan.

Yeah, that's true. I forgot. No, I mean a sitcom, okay?

But is it going to be Conan the sitcom?

No one calls a sitcom the sitcom.

Yeah, what would your sitcom be called? Just Conan? Just Conan, yeah.

But that's confusing because you had a show named Conan for 11 years on TBS. So how would people know if they're watching the talk show or the sitcom?

The Conan family. Oh, okay, and then I play all the different characters. Greenlit.

So bad.

What a bad idea, yeah.

That's a great idea. I come home, honey, I'm home, and then you cut to the top of the stairs and it's me dressed as my wife. Oh, Conan, you're so handsome.

I thought it was going to be you come home and say, Honey, I'm home, and there's just never anyone there.

It's just empty, always empty.

They never existed.

Yeah, doing bits.

That might fly greenlit.

Lainey, Are you regretting that you called?

Yeah.

I mean.

Not at all. This is the highest form of entertainment for me.

Wow, we've got to get you outside.

Touch grass, Yeah.

Here's my question, Nashville very cool man, that town's blowing up. I mean, I was there, what, like 15 years ago and then I came back and they were two different places. The two times I've....

Terrible, yeah.

Okay, did you grow up in Nashville?

I did not, I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri.

Okay, so you're kind of an interloper, too, You're kind of the problem. See what I'm saying, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I would say I'm the epicenter of the destruction, yes.

LAINEY That's kind of what I was trying to get to.

The beginning of the downfall.

I think the beginning of the downfall was you misrepresenting the pronunciation of your name in the spelling. Sure, sure.

It is spelled incorrectly.

Then you move to Nashville and say, I can't believe all these people moved to Nashville when hello....

Well, I brought them, mm-hmm.

Yeah, you came in a giant mothership with hundreds of thousands of people.

That's tough to decipher when you're in the middle of touring because you love it so much and you don't necessarily want to leave. But growth is inevitable, or you'd hope. And so I think end goal would be working in sort of a production management role. So still touring, but in a higher bracket and also kind of less hands-on, I guess.

Sounds like she's got it.

I swear to God, I'm talking. First of all, you're 25 and you're a very impressive person. I think I didn't take you seriously because you said you were a fan. But first of all, I would say the fact that you love what you do and you're doing it successfully at 25 is all you have to know.

Yes, well, thank you. Yeah, I'm just really enjoying saying yes to opportunities that come my way and seeing what comes from them. Like this, for example, I'd be like, if I didn't have that job, I wouldn't be able to be talking to you right now.

Well, I think it was really.

You mean Sona and Matt?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now was it Larkin or Poe who really made this happen?

Um, funny, funny enough, they're actually not Larkin and Poe. It's actually the name of the, I think, fourth great grandfather of theirs.

Oh, what a cool name.

And he's a descendant of Edgar Allen, and so they just run with that. But Rebecca and Megan are the two girls, and Rebecca's the one who stopped you and yelled at me to write down my name because I was nonverbal and couldn't collect myself.

Yeah, that's right, she's yelling at you. Write down your name, write down your name, write down your name.

Yeah, it worked.

Yeah, I know, look, what happened? We got to meet Lainey and have a nice conversation.

But maybe now, Lainey, maybe I should go out on tour as a musical act, what do you think?

Absolutely yes, and then you should bring me in skills and we'll have a great time.

Or maybe we lose skills. Aww, well, I'm just saying, what does he bring to the table?

Well, what are we going to do if you?

I can't do anything. Yeah, Matt plays guitar, I can't do anything.

Well, listen, you know, I'm terrible with music.

Oh, but you're very.

I'm a terrible singer.

Sing the Sun will come out tomorrow. It's really good.

The Sun will come out tomorrow.

There's a sweetness to that, I like it.

Fuck you, No, I'm being serious, you know what, you know what her fuck.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry.

I thought you were doing a thing.

You know what? No, no, no, I'm sorry. There was an innocence to it. Like someone discovering their voice for the first time.

It's because the song is like that, but I can't sing.

Sing a cher song.

Yeah, oh yeah, you love cher. Can we hear a cher song?

They say our love won't pay the rent before it's earned, our money's all been spent.

Okay.

Well, in her defense, I think she might have more experience saying fuck you than singing, yes.

Sing fuck you.

Fuck you, Oh my god, you could shatter a glass with that. She's like, Fuck you, she hits this impossible note and all the glasses in the neighborhood shatter.

Fuck you.

Yeah, suddenly you're signed up for the Metropolitan, it's okay, okay.

I know that about myself, it's fine.

You know yourself and that's your greatest quality, that's right.

But I'm saying, if you go on a musical tour, what do we do? can you just pay me to do nothing?

I do that now.

That's true.

Lainey, Before we go, tell us a little bit about your everyday life, give us a sense of who you are. All we've talked to is the working Lainey, who's yes, sir, no sir, three bags full, sir. What do you do for fun?

Ah, um, when I'm home, my routine is usually, you know, take care of my dog. Work out, find some way to form income that day. Um, whether that's prep. Yeah, very, uh, very exciting.

Okay.

Oh, this is just full.

Any criminal would say the same thing. Find some way to create income.

Oh, let's just let's just kill that.

You got a stack of wallets behind you.

Yeah, I know.

Um, I play guitar, I like to hike, I like to be active as much as I can, I like to go to shows in town.

LAINEY As you can tell. And then you probably noticed when I came past the Larkin Poe dressing room that I'm a workout fiend as well. Pause, pause, pause, pause. Anyway, what's your workout regimen? Uh, me, I like weights, I like my cardio.

What do you lift, bro?

I usually I put on a weighted vest, like you've talked about recently, that Liza's done. Um, I'll walk about four mile loop.

Yeah, my wife, uh, wears a weighted vest. I also wear a weighted vest.

My marital responsibilities.

We all waited for it. There it is.

The punchline?

Yeah, it was going to go three different ways, that was one of them.

Yeah, there was nine different ways.

I was going to say, the two of us wear your weighted vest.

No, no, that goes around my neck.

Oh.

That's called the lodestone, um.

That sounds like it should get checked out.

Hey, Lodestone's not a bad name for a band. Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, Lodestone.

So is that what you're going to tour as?

I don't know yet, I'm thinking about. I'd like to go out on the road. I really would, and you know what, I think, um, I would trust you.

You're asking if you think he'd be upset.

Yeah, now skills, I should point out, is 79 years old and you were 25, but still, I mean.

Well, skills is much more competent.

Interesting, I'm going to leave that alone.

And then doesn't just tell you that he's looking for forms of income. When that was the most awkward way she could have said that.

It's so true.

It's true that was really weird, the way you say it. Now. I won't put down skills anymore because I love him too much and he's great.

He's the best.

But um, I'm glad we met now. Can I just ask you about this meeting? Was I normal during the meeting or was I? Uh, you can say.

Well, I'm actually really glad you asked, because the point I met you at you were pretty, I think, stressed in that moment. You had a lot thrown at you from there, all of a sudden giving you more tasks to do on.

Stage and things to say. Yep.

And I thought that was really cool to see, you know, the humanity of it and the humility of it, of you just being vulnerable and saying, this is a lot. And it's more than what I thought I was getting into, and more than I asked for, you mean, he was being a diva? It was really cool, yeah.

No no no I was um.

Oh.

No, Maria, tell us.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't go there.

No, you know, what I remember is it was just. It was like a lot of things where you show up and you're told you're going to do one thing. And then suddenly it keeps multiplying exactly, and what happens is anybody you just get a it's fear.

Cool, like all the time, yeah, it was really a gift to see, to see that. Like, cause. That fear still gives you drive and it's a reason to keep doing what you're doing. And it was just cool.

Some of them are not like us. There's some soulless bastards out there.

And I found that out, too.

Yeah, yeah, we'll do the names on the next podcast, yeah, call in and just give the names.

Take him down.

Yeah, no, ask, anyone? ask, will Arnett? He'll tell you, Uh, monster.

Well, thank you.

Next time?

And I do have a question if that's appropriate.

Oh yeah, of course.

Um, and a little bit of context that isn't exactly kind. Um, I grew up kind of hating you, I guess.

And then, Oh, I love the way this is going.

Matt would enjoy go on and then around. Well, in college, my best friend introduced me to the podcast and I absolutely fell in love with it. And so I was telling my mom about it and I was saying, Why did I hate him?

So you didn't like me because as a child, my hair. I frightened you when you were in a formative stage, or you were very, you were too young, and you were frightened by the by the the weird muppet on TV.

That's what I've been told. Yes, and I guess that grew, and I didn't never, I never questioned it.

Um, that's a great question.

Like, when, Okay, that's not a question at all. The question, the question would be, what? What tactics would you use to convince a child who is afraid of you to not be afraid?

Well, that's really creepy, that's creepy on so many levels. I have some candy little child. Get in my van, you like vans?

Here's a red balloon.

Oh my God, you know what? I've always noticed, and I'll answer this seriously, even though this is an invitation to be arrested. Um, I just did this last night because I was over at Sona's house and the and she has twins who are almost three. What I've always done is with little kids is because I'm six, four. And then, uh, my features and my hair can be frightening actually to people of all ages. Um, I get down on the floor and get lower than them, and animals and kids chill when you're smaller than they are.

You're on their level.

I'm beneath their level and I'm beneath them, and they knew I was always beneath them. So, um, that's, that's, I guess, my tactic.

I apologize for that being creepy, I was unintentional. No, no, no.

No, but I like how it started with. I for most of my life hated you and then I. I. There was a medium where I couldn't see you but could hear you.

But from a toddler's perspective, you can be scary because you also do, like closeup shots of your face a lot. You dance around, and I'm a little toddler. I'd be like, Oh my god, what's happening with this guy?

Yeah, he's very needy, something's wrong with him. Well, I appreciate the honesty of the question, and I I hope you can go back and review the best of some of my early work. And, um, maybe you reevaluate it.

Oh, I haven't. I adore it, it's great. And I realized what I've been missing. I realized what I was missing.

Yes, oh, she's my favorite now. Yeah, okay, um, well, any. We're going to jump off, but really nice to talk to you again.

Well, thank you, I really appreciate it. It was great meeting all of you.

All right, take care, see you later. Bye-bye, thanks.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien. Sona Movsesian and Matt Gorley Produced by Me Matt Gorley executive produced by Adam Sachs. Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

Take it away, Jimmy.

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