Mischa Barton: Life Before & After The OC [VIDEO]

What is up, Daddy Gang, it is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy.

Misha Barton, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

I'm so happy we're finally doing this. I know. We've wanted to do this for so long and our schedules have been shit, and we're finally here. We're on the couch. We're cozy.

We're doing it.

So, Daddy Gang, we're currently in New York, which is where you grew up and kind of like where you really got your start. Do you plan on staying here long term? Is New York it for you?

I love New York. I mean, I just feel more at home here. I've actually, I mean, this last year, since we first started talking, I've been spending a lot of time in London and Europe again, but I get those kind of vibes when I'm in New York. And I get the culture and I, you know, I started in the theater. I love being able to like go to the theater all the time and like hang out in the cute little bookshops.

It is. It's magical. I used to live here and like every time I come back, I'm like, yes, you're an East Coast.

girl, right?

Pennsylvania. Yeah. You were born in London or?

Yes. Yeah. No, I was born in London and then we moved to New York when I was five and a half. So I, uh, I actually had like a little British accent and the whole thing. when I was a kid and had to lose it.

Was that actually a good thing? sometimes for like work? Could, would they be like, do a British accent and you could, or do an American and you could?

Yeah, I still do. I mean, I'm very grateful for it because when I went to like, they had to send me to a speech coach to like get a proper transatlantic accent.

So I don't. They're like, be a valley girl, bitch.

You're like, oh, what? Well, that was, that's really hard for, believe it or not, that's more complicated. It took living in LA for years to be able to understand what that even was. Cause I only moved to LA for the OC. So like they were, like, they would always be like, can you sound more like, you know, you're from the valley or more Orange County.

You know, it's weird though, listening to you talk, you're so right. You have this like eloquent, tiny twang underneath. And it is clearly from that, like English background. So you've got a great voice. Going back to the beginning, what were you like as a kid?

Going back to the beginning, what were you like as a kid? I was pretty serious and very shy at first. So, like I was like painfully shy and kind of awkward, I guess. Like not very, but very serious.

When we think of actors and actresses, I feel like people that can't relate are always like, oh my gosh, they're like the most outgoing. And then I feel like every time I speak to an actor, they're like, no, I'm insecure. I was like trying to find my voice. So like acting helped. Like how did you then find yourself putting yourself in these situations?

I got into it by, I didn't want to do any of like the outdoor activities at camp. And so I wrote this like monologue. and then that was what you all had to perform something or show what you'd been doing all summer at camp. And so, like my big sister had been like horseback riding and doing all this stuff. And I was just like sitting there writing.

When I think about child actors, I always am like, okay, I can't imagine your social life in school. But was your experience like you were the cool kid in school, or were you getting bullied, or was you were just kind of like fitting in?

I was always a bit like on the outside. I only had like one best friend and I was friends with a lot of the boys. But it was always like me and this girl, Laura Katzmann. And like it was just the two of us. And we were kind of like outsiders.

Right. You're like, let me be like gothic with my one friend in the cafeteria, mom. Like, let me live.

Yeah, that was important to me.

So after high school, you had plans to go to Yale.

There was an early acceptance to the drama program, which I wanted to do.

That's like a huge deal. And then you decided not to go.

I got cast in the O.

Do you ever look back at that decision and like question like, hmm?

I mean, yeah, but like I'm still like that. Like I live near NYU. I like every day I walk by, I'm like, oh, I used to sit in the back of, like some of my friends' lectures and classes that were going to Columbia and NYU and stuff. And I would just like, I mean, I was obsessed with school culture and learning. I really enjoyed it.

I'm going to walk past NYU like tomorrow and I'm like, is that, Misha? You're like sitting in the classes.

But I do, I find it fascinating. I mean, like, you know, my big sister, she's so smart. I mean, she studied law, politics, economics. And like. it's always like she went to the University of Edinburgh in the end.

So we talk about the OC. We got to get into it. You mentioned you obviously did took that instead of going to college. Obviously, the OC was this phenomenon that I don't know if anyone expected it, but like it is still iconic to this day. People still talk about it.

Not really, no. I think the first time that we realized was when we went to the first premiere episode of it. And like, we literally thought that that whole crowd was there for something else. And we were like, I remember we were all riding in the same van together and like we looked over and we're like, what's that? And they were like, no, that's like the premiere for your show.

You were obviously the youngest of everyone, basically on that cast. You were 17 at the time and everyone was in their 20s, 30s, 40s. What was the dynamic initially like, with you and your castmates, you being 17??

Well, I think it was a bit tricky for everyone because, like, you know, just having like I was experiencing all of my firsts and like I was so young and like, you know, my mom would be on set. And yeah, I just needed a lot more like attention in that sense, because I had my mom there and there was stuff going on and I was just finishing up school. And so, you know, they, like it was a lot of my firsts, let's put it like that. And I that kind of really like, separated me a little bit from them, in the sense that, like I wasn't out there living on my own in L.A. like yet, you know.

I didn't realize that the romantic partner that you had on your onscreen relationship with the character Ryan Atwood with Marissa, you being 17 at the time, I didn't realize he was 25.

Yeah, I wasn't just on screen either. I mean, it was kind of complicated for me because, like, I said, like I went into that like a virgin, like a kid, like really feeling like I needed to grow up quickly, to portray. like, you know, acting with people older than me was a bit like, oh, wow. Like they know what they're doing and like there's going to be like relationships on this show and you're going to need to like play that part. And I didn't feel really ready for that, because I was always like a really late bloomer in school and I hadn't really dated.

So you had a relationship with your cast mate?

Yeah, I mean, that was my first like and I had no idea like what I was doing, you know, and I think that kind of set things off on the wrong foot, too, because it was like, you know, people hook up on these shows and whatever. And like these things happen. But it was it. we threw ourselves all into it very fast. And like.

I didn't understand how much and I'm not saying this happened in your case, but like I didn't understand how much directors like are really like promoting. Yes. Like hang out together and be together, like it works for chemistry. But was that your case where they supported it?

Yeah. I mean, it kind of felt like a double edged sword because, like, you know, exactly what you said. They're like, oh, we want it to seem like you guys are all friends and that you have chemistry and we need this to really work and make it look like you guys have this chemistry. And then you sort of get punished for it on the flip side. And they're like, oh, but not so much that it like affects our production or like what's going on here.

How did you emotionally and mentally handle a dynamic where you still have to see someone every day and like be cordial?

But well, I mean, yeah, we just had to, like suck it up and get on with it. And there were. but there was a lot of like jabs behind the scenes and off camera and kind of, like, you know. Yeah, I feel I felt like that kind of ostracized me as well, because, like, you know, there was a marked difference. And like maturity level there.

Did you end the relationship?

Yeah, I mean, I. yeah, I do. I think, you know, like one of those things. you're so young, you realize like, I'm not ready for this. Like, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Yeah, it's overwhelming.

Yeah. Overwhelming. And just like too close to home. Like you, can't it that it would be a very, very tricky thing to keep going on set. And I think, you know, Adam and Rachel, like we all kind of experienced that in some form or another.

You know, such a good point. Like I remember when I was, I had Rachel on my show and we talked about her and Adam and like the chemistry between the cast, the core four, it was like overwhelming for people. And we romanticized it so much. And I could imagine you're right, like ending relationships like Adam and Rachel at one point, like it was so heightened.

That sexual tension was there. I mean, really, like it reads like, even when you're looking at the scenes on, like the Ferris wheel and stuff, and like, you know, I think we like kind of hated each other at that point. But like there was still this, like intense, kind of like tension there. And so it really worked for for the show.

Can I ask if you lost your virginity when you were filming D.

Like. that's what I'm saying. Like. I was just such a like. I had no idea about relationships at all or sex.

You had mentioned there was bullying on set in like an interview. And I'm curious if, like you, can talk about that a little bit as like being in that position, like how do you deal with that?

There was just kind of like backtalk between people. And like there was it's. I think I heard you say this at one of your interviews. It's typical that in these sets where, like everybody, that not everybody is going to get along. And even with, like the secondary characters and like guest stars and people who came in, you know, there are going to be clashes.

Marissa, the character you played was like the it girl, like she's partying. She can get all the boys. She's got like the family drama. She's getting into trouble. I'm curious, like, did you relate to anything that she was going through?

I found those places in her, I guess. I mean, like I. yeah, I started to more and more. I think that's why they wrote so much drama for her in there, like the relationship with her parents and stuff, because that was the stuff that I could. I felt that, you know, emotional turmoil and angst in my life going on outside of the show.

You leave at the end of season three. It's still to. this day is like one of, I feel like, the most heartbreaking moments on TV. Your character dies. How did you decide?

That's complicated. You know, things had not been going like they really needed, like a huge cliffhanger, something had to give, something had to change. And I'm like, to be really honest, like, you know, I think, as Josh and Stephanie were writing it, they knew they needed something huge. And the obvious thing was like, how much more can we really do with Marissa? Like, really, what more can she do?

Do you remember the feeling of when the world saw that scene? Like, did you pay attention to how many people were so devastated? Were you overwhelmed?

Crazy. People crying in airports, to be like people come up to all the street and be like, can I hug you? Like, I mean, people wanted to like physically touch me. They were just very like concerned about what had happened with the character. Because they're like, you're alive, really upset people and especially upset young girls, and rightfully so.

But just when you went on the OC Rewatch podcast with the girls, I remember watching you, like you looked upset when you were watching that final scene. You were like, oh, my God.

Well, I haven't watched it, maybe ever, actually.

Is there a reason?

Well, I never sat down and watched the show as it was airing. It was not something so like a lot of it I hadn't seen. And that one in particular, I hadn't seen it since we shot it. And I forgot so much about it. Like the fact that there's no music.

And like, oh, girl, it was dramatic. Yeah, you had me in tears. And then Alleluia starts playing. And then you're like, but when you watched it and you're like, OK, let's turn this off, it's going to get emotional. Like, what did it bring up for you seeing that scene?

We were upset on set that day. A lot of the crew were really sorry to see me go and they were pretty upset. And it was a lot of goodbyes and, like, you know, putting on a brave face about the whole thing. But basically, like, I mean, I would always make make light of everything. And we were like, more blood, more drama, like, you know.

How would you describe that time of your life? Like after the O.C.?

It was an intense time. It was because I think the thing that I hadn't really wrapped my head around was like the amount of worldwide fame that show actually got. And so there wasn't anywhere to really hide. And I think what overwhelmed me was like I was doing all these campaigns. And like there were times when I only had a few days off in the year.

The paparazzi were absolutely obsessed with you. It was like insane. Can you talk about some of like, the like details of, like the way that they would try to get to you to like? really embody what you were going through?

It was dangerous most of the time and also just extremely invasive. I mean, the lengths that they would go to to, like tap phones and conversations and like find out where you were going and track your car and stuff. I mean, the lengths they went to were were pretty absurd.

I think I read somewhere. you said something like they would like give homeless people phones.

No, they really did. They would give people like in the Malibu, like Country Mart and stuff, and people on Rodeo, they would give like random people, like phones. And they would say, like, if you ever see a celebrity show up, I'm the first person you should call. Like, I'll give you 50 bucks, 100 bucks, whatever it is. If you tip me off, that you see like Misha or Nicole or any of these girls coming down here to like go shopping or go to lunch, that way they wouldn't have to like sit there all day and wait themselves in the car.

Like lazy piece of shit. OK, you couldn't just wait there yourself. I mean, that's just insane. And you're right. Like it was a different time.

You can't get away with the same level of invasion of privacy. And you're right. Like, it's better. I think people have lived and learned. Like the nice thing about social media is like and the way it is now, you can give access to what you want to give access to.

You, I think, had said at one point you're some someone on your team around you started to give you like prescription drugs. When did that start happening? And like, how did? how did that happen?

It was happening even towards the end of the OC.

But you're saying the men in suits were there to like.

It was just people from like all over, like the agency, like producers, like people, really wanted to know that I was going to be performing and doing like the schedule that they expected me to stick to. And, and like, I mean, I don't think that would even like, I don't think you could really do that with actors now. Like now, if you say to somebody like, I'm, I'm not doing well, or like there are like trigger words that you can like where they're like, OK, well, we have to leave this person alone. Like she needs like a few days off or she needs some time to herself. Like that wasn't the case then.

That's an interesting point, like mental health wise, like no one was having conversations the way that they were now. So like, because all I'm thinking about is anyone like asking you, like, Misha, are you OK? Like, do you need a break? And instead, everyone's like, how are we going to get you out the door the next day? Like, take this pill.

It just wasn't healthy. And I mean, it's still. like, you know, I've just in my life, I've really learned to prioritize, like my chosen family and like the people who have really actually been there for me. I don't rely on like any one particular family member anymore. Like, I've learned that for my own happiness.

I think it's a good point, though. And I think I've talked about that on my show before, like family. The word family is so just, by the way, that you define it, like. it doesn't have to be blood and you can make your own family and like the family that you're born into. It doesn't mean that it doesn't mean anything.

Yeah, it, there has been a lot of heartbreak. I think that, like for me, the thing that's is like I have to like really concentrate on myself, because it's sounds cliche, but, like, you know, unless you love yourself and love you and like can spend the time with you, you're the person you have to answer to, you know, and like nobody else. And I've had other people I've been, yeah, stolen from and lied to in so many different ways over the course of, you know, the last 10, 15 years, especially. And like it's only in the last, like two, three years even maybe, that I feel like I have really taken responsibility for it and for myself and like, been like, you know what? The only thing that I can do is just be happy, healthy and sober and working out.

Thank you for sharing that, because I can imagine it's so hard when I'm like, you're talking about your family and you're talking about literally getting stolen from you're like, how do you like? that's something that is like you couldn't feel more. How could you feel not alone? Like the people that you usually would turn to to be like.

Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, I have to believe that in life everybody does things thinking they're doing it for the right reason and maybe like with good intentions. But sometimes, like there isn't always good intentions and sometimes you can't really explain why people do what they do. And yeah, that's, it's a tricky one. And I think, you know, in family especially, it's a tricky one. And you can just like.

Of course. I'm curious, Misha, like when you were alone in those moments, like. How did you keep going? Because I'm trying to put myself in your shoes of like knowing the closest people to you are kind of like just completely abandoning you. There's no trust.

I mean, a lot of therapy, a lot of just like cutting people out and working on myself, and like strength comes at the darkest times. Yeah. I mean, I've found my strength. And when I was younger, like I didn't think I was. I thought I was going to like be dead by 27..

I mean, I'm so sorry because I can't imagine like being at a place where you are almost like aware that the end could be near for yourself because of what's happening in your life.

Like I. well, I romanticized all of that kind of like rock and roll, just like, you know, I was just like I had kind of made up my mind that it wasn't going to like. Yeah, that there was no real kind of longevity in it for me, that I just didn't want to. I didn't care to like, keep going. And then, yeah, like I said, I think just I can't stand injustices in life.

Talking about that time in your life where, like it was kind of like I was romanticizing it. It was like, fuck this. Like so, in 2007,, you were arrested for DUI. And a few years later, you were held in a psychiatric hospital behind closed doors. Like what was happening with you at that point?

Well, the DUI, I mean, I don't really know what to say about that. That was just. it was what it was. It was like it was a straight up, like we were out one night. And yeah, that was.

When I heard you say like. it was so annoying hearing people say like, you're so strong, you're so strong. You're like, but why does this all have to keep fucking happening to me?

It was just hard. people saying that. I mean, like, you know, even like my boyfriends and all my friends around me, would constantly say that. But I didn't feel as strong as I think I was coming across. You know, I do have this like kind of like British thing of like, suck it up.

I was thinking about, like of all the when you're saying, you know, like people basically taking advantage of you. in 2017, one of your ex-boyfriends, you found out, had filmed you when you were having sex and was going and trying to shop the sex tape. Yeah. Can you take me back to the moment where you realized that even like existed and what you were going through?

It was a disaster. It was an absolute fucking nightmare. But I mean, yeah, I don't like to go back there. But I will tell you, I mean, it was.

And did you.

Glad I did.

Abso-fucking-lutely. When you found also out, like, did you have a conversation with him? Did you not speak to him again?

God, no, no. I mean, like he disappeared. He often like, I mean, it was already over. Like it was just a like a two week thing. And it was so.

Let's go get this mother.

You have no idea.

So did you date this guy for two?

Yeah, it was just like a like two week fling. Shocking what goes through people's minds, like where they see opportunity, isn't it?

It's just so sick how how it happened. Any woman listening, like if they are going through this, like it is not your fault. It is illegal and it's a crime. I'm curious when everything like that's just you've been through in your life. Are you resentful at all?

No, no. I mean, there are people that I look back on and I'm like, you know, I've definitely can't stand them. I'm glad that they're not in my life anymore. And I blame them for some of the things that kind of went on around that time period. But no, I mean, I don't think you can be resentful in life.

If you could say something to yourself when you were at that point where you had the mentality of like, fuck it, I'll be in the twenty seven club. Like, what do you wish you could say to me now?

You're going to be here ten years later, sitting on a couch, talking to Alex Cooper about it. So get your shit together now.

That you're going to be alive and thriving and happy and healthy. And it's all going to come together.

Because you don't see it at the time when you're in it. You just feel so overwhelmed, you know, and depression is real. And it takes like a while for, like the serotonin and the like happiness to like, level out and for you to come back from these situations. And it's not like an overnight like. But then, like strangely, one day it will be kind of like a switch gets flicked.

It's like you look back when you're talking about it. Like I have moments in my life, too, where I was like going through some whatever. And then one day you're just like making coffee, or you're and you're like, oh, my God, it all.

I'm not that person at all anymore. I don't know, because when I was in it, I didn't see, like, I couldn't barely even see, a pinpoint of a light at the end of the tunnel. And now here I am. And it's like I'm not even in the tunnel.

You're not. Bitch, the tunnel's nowhere to be found. OK, it's gone. It's so gone. It's gone.

I'm single at the moment and I love it. I love it. I've really, truly have just been working on myself and I fucking love it. It's great. I mean, I don't have to answer to anybody.

I do feel like. what I've learned, though, is like, that's also just, we're talking about all these different stages of your life. And something I learned about myself, it's like, I had a similar experience. Like I was like, God, these relationships are so heavy and so intense. And then the more I worked on myself and the more that I became the best version of myself.

Like you're, you are, you don't give off those vibes. Guys don't feel like they can control you like that. Yeah, exactly. Because you are, without even knowing it, you are giving off vibes that you need to be babied or you need to be taken care of in some way, I think. And like, even though you feel like you're acting so independent, but like, yeah.

It's different. Like you will attract someone completely different in this new stage of your life. just because you're, you also see yourself differently. I mean, even think about what you were feeling about yourself before 27, and then now you're like, oh my God, these are different people.

I mean, yeah. That person never would have considered settling down, never would have considered marriage, kids, anything. Like, none of that would have even been like, I'd have been like, oh hell, no. But you know, yeah, things, things change.

So you said you kind of would consider yourself like, are you a romantic? Yeah. Valentine's Day. Misha brought me literally a nice little teddy bear and a little rose.

Well, you're engaged. And I was like, oh, you have to spend Valentine's, it's a, and I hate that word, Galentine's, but I was like, okay, so no, it's such an annoying word, isn't it? But anyway, um, I was like, if we're doing Valentine's Day, you need a teddy bear and a rose.

Let me be so clear. I cannot explain to you how happy I am that I'm spending Valentine's Day with you. Like, truly this episode, I already know is one, going to help so many women and two, like we're Misha fans over here. Okay. We fucking love you.

Oh man. I don't know. Like, I think I, again, with that, I went through phases where, like, I really wanted to date musicians and like be on tour and, like, you know, like, yeah, exactly. Like those, those days are over. That's not attractive to me anymore.

So you had a type?

I mean, I did date a lot of like kind of band guys. I don't think I have a type per se, but.

What was it about the band guy that you were loving? Like what was going on?

I don't know. I was just young and thought that was cool to be on tour with, like the Cold War kids or Rooney and stuff like, you know, like I thought I was like having a blast. I was in my twenties. I don't know.

Like it was like, wait, I forgot Rooney was on the show. Mm, hmm.

We had so many cool bands on the show. It was a great way to meet people.

Yeah. Okay. So you liked the band boys, but now maybe we're like veering away.

Yes. No, we have veered away. Um, I'm, I like people who are driven and have their own stuff going on. It's incredibly important considering how, like independent and driven, I've always had to be in my life and am in my life. Like I need that and a sense of humor are the two main things.

What is a non-negotiable for you?

Like if you're don't have a sense of humor and you can't make me laugh, like if you're not funny, then it's like, no, that's not going to work, probably. Right.

Like I need to be cracking up.

Yeah. I, I, I need somebody who feels like a best friend. Mm, hmm.

Cause, I think also if you could talk about, cause I, as we wind down, like I have a lot of women, I just sounded like my fucking therapist, you guys, my therapist at like the 50 minute mark is like, as we wind down, I'm like, Oh bitch, that's your way of telling me like it's over. Like you're going to hang up on me. Panic. Um, but as we wind down, um, I'm curious, like, of what, of all the themes we did talk about with men, like, how have you, whether it's in therapy or just on your own journey, like, how have you tried to rebuild trust? Cause, I think there's so many women that write into me of like, I just feel like I've been so fucking wronged by men and sorry to all the men in the room, but like it's hard to not hate them because of the bad interactions you've had with them.

I've definitely become more of a girl's girl over the years, that's for sure. Um, but what in relationships, like how to like not get, yeah, I mean you have to, you just have to, I mean you just have to keep your wits about you, but like, you can't go around with, like we said, like resenting or having a chip on your shoulder and being like that, because also, you won't attract like the right people in that, in that phase either. So I love, love. I think, you know, everybody needs to keep an open mind. There are good people out there, even though this episode addressed a lot of not so good.

people, but there are, you're right. And it's like, I think it's, it's important to have conversations with like this of like the bad can be really fucking bad and really fucking dark. But if you keep pushing through it, like you said, like you wish you could tell yourself, then, like, no, bitch, you are going to make it past 27 and it is going to get better. And you, you are so strong, but you shouldn't have had to be that strong. But the reason you're still here is because you're so strong and like keep fighting to people listening that are going through it.

It does.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?

Ooh, I don't know. I think like, honestly, a lot of people think that I am Marissa Cooper. Like. I think a lot of people think I'm going to be a really stuck up bitch. Like I do.

in their heads. Yeah. Does that make you at all like? resent the character?

No, I still love Marissa as a character. I think she's a bad ass bitch and I think, like she was, a great character. I just think, you know, like people are not the roles they play and like actors are like, you know, yeah. Yes.

Give actors a break. Actors are not the roles they play, period. God bless. Everyone online, you get that? TikTok?

Hopefully, like for me, girl, strength and power, because I think, talking about these things and like, you know, if you can talk about your dark times and your depression or anything that you've been through, and like for me, like I said, I was walking around the city with my headphones and listening to your interviews, and I do find them really interesting, and I think it's important that you can listen to other women's perspectives and what they've been through. And if you're having a bad day, it's probably, hopefully it's not as bad as Misha's first day.

You're like, bitch, hopefully this really brings me down.

This will brighten you.

No, but you're right. It's like sometimes when you're really, everyone goes through it, where you're feeling so alone and there is something really nice when especially people you look up to that you know online are like, oh, I have been through it. It can give that person sitting in their room, whether it's a good or bad day, to be like, damn, I'm so not alone in the, it's all the same themes. It's all, we all have ties to each other. It's just, we experience it or feel it differently.

Well, I wanted to talk to you because I think you're cool. I get good vibes from you. And when I was, when I first spoke to you, I was like out of everybody that I could talk to. Like, yeah, it's true. I turned down all the podcasts and stuff, but it's been fun talking to you.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. Last question. Yes. What can fans expect from you next?

Ooh, you know, what's fun is, well, I was working quite a bit last year, which was, which was fun. And so I was traveling a lot. And then, so I was working in Australia and now I think I'm going to be doing a rom-com later this year in Australia, which is a really new territory for me. So she's a really fun character. Yeah, I know it's not the kind of role, but she's got this kind of like a great sense of humor to her, the character and stuff.

Let me just say this, the daddy gang, my fans and I will be sat, ready to watch, with our popcorn, ready to support our girls.

They're coming back too. Like, I mean, yeah, it's a fun genre. We don't always want to be in, like, you know, running scared and doing these dramatic roles.

Right, and, like our emo days, like we want, sometimes we want to like little laugh with our popcorn. Misha, I cannot thank you enough for coming on, for trusting me with this conversation and like, truly, it has been such a pleasure to get to know you more. And I feel like, I mean, I know there's so much more to you, but I appreciate you sitting down with me, because this was really one of my faves. So thank you. And thank you.

No, thanks. I'm glad we got to meet up here in New York.