Eagles TE Dallas Goedert, Mt Rushmore Of Triangles, MLB All Star Game + Guys On Chicks

2023-07-12 01:38:17

<p><p>On "Pardon My Take," Big Cat &amp; PFT Commenter deliver the loudest and most correct sports takes in the history of the spoken word. Daily topics, guests, and an inability to tell what the hosts might be doing will make this your new favorite sports talk show. This is a podcast that will without a doubt change your life for the better- guaranteed, or your money back. *Pretend a reggaeton air horn is going off right now* PMT.</p></p><br /><p>You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit <a href="https://barstool.link/PardonMyTake">barstool.link/PardonMyTake</a></p>

1Speaker 1
00:00:00.00 – 00:00:23.74

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It's easy to pick up and play with basic controls, but offering deep gameplay mechanics for the hardcore player. Pick up TopSpin 2K Today rated E for everyone on today's part of My Take. We have a great show for the people we're talking, MLB All-star game.

00:02:09.70 – 00:02:27.88

We're talking home run derby. We got hot seat, cool throne. A great, great interview with Dallas Goddard from the Philadelphia Eagles. One of those interviews, I'm going to tell Awls. And I'm not saying this just because Takeies are on Friday. But one of those interviews we sat down, we didn't really know a lot about Dallas Goddard.

00:02:28.12 – 00:02:43.16

We stood up after him. We're like, that guy fucking rules, we want to be friends with him. We have Mount Rushmore of Triangles, of actually hilarious Mount Rushmore because our minds wandered, and then we have guys on chicks to wrap it all up.

00:02:43.90 – 00:02:56.30

No joke. I think I might have a cane sauce problem. I was raising canes the other day, getting my box combo with extra sauce on the side. Like usual, I have an order when I eat my canes, it goes crinkle. Cut fries, chicken fingers, the Texas toast and finish strong with the slaw.

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So I start eating and before I know it, I'm scraping the bottom of my sauce and I wasn't even done with my fries. Yet this habit is escalating and I'm 100 here for it. Dip into canes. Get extra sauce for me, please.

00:03:07.92 – 00:03:10.74

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00:03:14.24 – 00:03:14.64

Boy.

00:03:17.96 – 00:03:24.16

Now in the street, there is violence and lots of work to be done.

00:03:26.18 – 00:03:47.06

No place to hang out or wash in, and I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher.

00:03:49.58 – 00:04:08.82

Welcome to part of my take. Today is Wednesday, July 12th and PFT we're back, baby, the NL is back. We've won the All-star game, the most important game in the entire summer. It's the only time both teams put out their best effort, put out their best guys.

00:04:09.00 – 00:04:25.22

The NL's back on top, you know, what's kind of sick to think about is somehow baseball does have the most competitive All-star game when you look across every sport. They all suck, they all suck. This happened to be an especially shitty game because I think, like everybody else in America, I was rooting for a tie.

00:04:25.80 – 00:04:43.54

I was rooting for the Dingers off for extra innings where it was going to be three players, three swings each from each team. And whoever got the most Dingers was going to win the All-star game. That's what I wanted to see, that's what everyone wanted to see. At least as you said, the long National League nightmare is over in America. It's been nine games.

00:04:44.00 – 00:05:08.36

We were on a nine game losing streak, which is bizarre. It's like, so insane to think that in an all-star game between the two leagues, that one team could dominate like the AL has. But somehow it happened, and they lost twice tonight too. Because shout out to the Mariners fans who took a stand for America and took a stand for righteousness. And they booed the Astros players coming into this game. Thank you Seattle, good sports town.

00:05:08.50 – 00:05:15.42

Hank's not here so I can say it and he won't bleep it out, he won't delete it because he's usually a coward. Seattle good sports town, yes.

00:05:15.60 – 00:05:23.44

Yes, and it was, you know, listen, all the AL fan boys are going to be like, Oh, it doesn't matter, it's just it's just an all-star game. No, no, no, it matters.

00:05:23.54 – 00:05:32.78

The N.L. is back on top one. And, oh, in the last one, it's called the mid Summer classic for a reason. Okay, it's actually the M.L.B. Cup. Yeah, you can't get better.

00:05:33.02 – 00:05:46.54

Yeah, every player actually wins a free roster spot on the Houston Rockets, so it's a pretty big deal. It's a pretty big deal. But yeah, it was a boring game, other than the. The start was awesome, when it was just like, awesome catches, awesome catches.

00:05:46.98 – 00:06:14.62

Uh, that wasn't a great start for me. I bet on the over in the first inning. And so to have two warning track catches at the wall like that. I, I, you know what? At least at that point, I knew, Okay, I can get up and go to the kitchen, make my dinner. Because this bet stomp. And I'll say this and this is going on a little bit of a tangent, because, um, no one has brought this up recently. But we're at the point of the summer where it's like, I just really want football to be back and I find myself missing college football.

00:06:14.74 – 00:06:28.88

I love NFL, but college football I missed the most because of the chaotic energy, like that is the chaotic energy sport. Because you have guys messing up and making mistakes, that just leads to craziness. MLB They're so fucking good.

00:06:29.42 – 00:06:39.50

Every time that ball got hit in the outfield and the sun was like, right on the edge. And you're like, they should absolutely miss this catch and then they get it. It's a real big bummer. I want to see more errors.

00:06:39.66 – 00:06:54.64

I want to see more chaotic energy. So they're just too good, the pros are too good the turns out. The All-star game The baseball players playing in the All-star Game are pretty good at baseball. They should just have two outfielders, two outfielders and metal bats, at least metal, in the home run derby.

00:06:54.96 – 00:07:04.46

Actually, you know what? The one thing that the All-Star game is really good for, and the home run Derby, is the people that like to change rules, the Mike Greenberg dumb rules. This is the best time of year for that, I know.

00:07:04.46 – 00:07:24.28

During the home run Derby, you had a really good rule about just about the guys, the kids that are out in the outfield. Yes, yeah, so the kids, the kids in the outfield. We saw one of them get just absolutely smoked by a Vladdy line drive and it made me think it is. I was thinking about it before, but like, when someone gets hit with a ball, I want to laugh, right?

00:07:24.38 – 00:07:28.56

I want to laugh, it's funny, I want to see injuries, They're funny, they're funny to watch.

00:07:28.98 – 00:07:44.20

A person falling on face, guy getting hit in the balls, all funny things to me, maybe someone getting hit in the stomach. Puking guy who walks down the stairs after yelling at the umpire and shatters both his Patella tendons. Funny, I watched it a hundred times, but I have a heart.

00:07:44.66 – 00:08:08.68

And as a father of three, I do not like to see kids get hurt. So I'm watching the home run Derby. I'm like, you know what I'd rather if it weren't kids out there. Why not just get a bunch of fat like college 20 to 30 year old kids? Guys drunk as hell, fat like sloppy fat, just falling on their face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff. Cause then we can laugh as a country.

00:08:08.80 – 00:08:30.50

We can laugh at that, they brought it on themselves at that point, that'd be very funny to watch. I was thinking that they could incorporate a rule change where if a player gets busted for steroids. They could then elect to compete in the home run derby to win their freedom to win the way if they, if they win the home run Derby. They get to come back for the rest of the year, and they get to continue using steroids for the rest of the year.

00:08:30.66 – 00:08:42.76

If they don't win, they're suspended for the rest of the year. Okay, I love that idea, let me just throw a little addition to it. They can compete in the home run derby or the night of the home run derby.

00:08:42.76 – 00:09:02.42

They can compete in a winner takes all match. Where we have like a big ring. And a bunch of live, ferocious animals try to attack them, and if they survive that, then they get their freedom. Yeah, that's fine, too. You can do gladiator style, you basically made gladiator for steroid abusers.

00:09:02.56 – 00:09:17.88

I like that a lot, but how electric would that be? It's like, okay, you got caught if you admit, if you, if you. You can't say like, somebody put something in in my workout supplement. You can't pull a Julian Edelman on this. You can't like, deny, like, Oh, I went to GNC and bought something off the shelf.

00:09:17.98 – 00:09:28.74

I thought it was safe. You have to be like, Yeah, hand up. I was using steroids. Because I love dingers, and if you love dingers that much, why don't you get on the field and hit a whole pack of dingers for everybody? I love the idea.

00:09:29.14 – 00:09:42.44

Would you be open to saying, too, that if you win your freedom, you also win the freedom to continue to do steroids the rest of the year? No, that's what I said. Yeah, yeah, that's part of the thing where if you win, you get to stay juiced for the rest of the year.

00:09:42.66 – 00:09:55.72

Also, we can incorporate kind of your rule and just put every player from the 2000. What was it? the 2019? Uh, Astros put them in the outfield and they're blindfolded. Yes, they have a glove.

00:09:55.82 – 00:10:10.92

They can protect themselves, but but they're blindfolded. They're blindfolded with, um, the big rubber ducks that make huge noises. You see it like target on their feet. So you can, you, can, you, you. The players can be like, Yeah, they're squeaking around, they're looking like idiots.

00:10:11.00 – 00:10:26.46

I can't really run and they're blindfolded. Um, there was a great moment in the home run derby. Uh, switch hitter, we had a switch hitter that went from both sides of the plate. And um, he should have just hit right handed the whole time. He was awesome from the right side and to okay.

00:10:26.46 – 00:10:43.48

So a lot of people were saying, isn't this a touching moment? We get this maybe once every couple of years. His dad was throwing BP to him, which is great. It's a great moment. But do you think that there's a small part of his dad that goes home? And at the end of the day, you still have to look yourself in the mirror and know that you got shelled by your son tonight.

00:10:44.10 – 00:10:57.70

Oh, definitely, and if you, if you don't pitch well, too, that's actually the worst thing. But it would be funny if we had a wife in the eye and you're like, Yeah, okay, we did a great thing for a son. But also, I know you think less of me as a man, cause I gave up so many dingers tonight.

00:10:58.20 – 00:11:08.70

We need, like Chris Bryant's dad, who would probably try to strike him out the entire time. Yeah, um, the yeah, the home run Derby. I think we say this every year. They screwed it up.

00:11:08.80 – 00:11:24.68

They've screwed it up, they I know what it used to be. With the 10 ounce, it took forever, cause guys were just taking pitches. But yet again, we have a home run derby where we just it's. It's essentially a stamina competition of who can hit, you know, the fastest home runs.

00:11:24.80 – 00:11:42.48

And it has nothing to do with the long ball and being able to just ooh and ah, a Sammy Sosa just hitting moon shots. I want that back, so I don't know what they have to do. Maybe it's just 10 outs and you can only take like three pitches the entire time, but I just it just isn't as fun.

00:11:42.54 – 00:11:56.44

I know that Julio Rodriguez breaking the record, that was cool, but you don't get to see any of them land. I want to see, I want to see balls go 500 feet and I want to watch them. And I want to watch someone try to catch them. And then the guy steps back and he's like, all right, here comes another, watch this and boom.

00:11:56.56 – 00:12:06.86

And here comes another not this boom, boom, boom, boom, rapid fire. Yeah, each home run. It felt like it meant more because we're all we all got to take all of it in. Now it's you see a ball.

00:12:06.86 – 00:12:20.44

Go out, they show you the exit velocity and they show you the speed at which it leaves the bat. And then you have to do the math in your own head and be like, Yeah, that was probably a dinger, nice dinger that I didn't even get to. They've turned, they've turned the home run Derby into math, right?

00:12:20.64 – 00:12:38.84

Right, and obviously these are all, uh, mid July problems we're talking about. And we should say that bloody junior, he got fucked going into the final round because he's a big boy. He took big boy daddy hacks and he was exhausted. By the time the semifinals were over, then he had to bat again, right?

00:12:38.94 – 00:12:57.36

Like, one right after the other, and he still won, that was. That was a a shocker to me and most people that were watching. But um, yeah, they need to find a way to to, uh, take, incorporate some of the old part. And maybe you can put like a time limit if you make it, I don't know, like six minutes per player, um, but you have to, like, let every home run land.

00:12:57.40 – 00:13:05.34

So they're not taking all the pitches. Yeah, I want to see every, every ball land, you can't take your next cut until the first one lands. Yeah, exactly.

00:13:05.48 – 00:13:16.44

I, I were complete agreement in that. Um, yeah, bloody wild moment, Jake, seeing all the pictures of bloody and bloody, bloody Junior, they both. What was it? 16 years apart? They won home run Derbies.

00:13:16.86 – 00:13:25.74

Something like that, yeah, totally wild. I mean, that's Jake, your. Your heart must've been fluttering, because it's, it's, it's baseball, it's the most romantic sport.

00:13:26.08 – 00:13:34.88

It's midsummer classic, it's a home run derby. Father, son, you, you probably were creaming your dockers pretty close.

00:13:37.24 – 00:13:45.42

It's hard not to get romantic about baseball. Who was it after the Derby was over? There? They were talking about Vlad Jr. and they said, like, isn't this a great story?

00:13:45.46 – 00:13:57.12

You were born in Cuba, and when you come to America and you win the home run derby, he's like, Wait, I'm pretty sure. He was born in Canada, he was born in Canada, he was born in Canada. And I don't think that I'll have to look it up. Jake, can you fact check me on this?

00:13:57.18 – 00:14:03.24

I don't think that Vladimir Guerrero is Cuban. No, I'm pretty sure he was raised in Dominican. Yeah, Dominican Republic, right?

00:14:03.68 – 00:14:20.50

Yeah, I'm, I'm 90, sure, but yeah, they really screwed that one up. Um, also, it was great that we got to see that hard-o Pete Alonzo lose. Because I, I'm going to say it, I know Mets fans get a reputation for being a little toxic.

00:14:20.70 – 00:14:36.64

We might know a couple of them in our lives, uh? And they do seem to complain more than any other fan base, probably rightfully so, because bad things happen to them. It would drive me nuts If my best player took the home run Derby as seriously as Pete Alonzo does. It would drive me insane.

00:14:36.84 – 00:14:47.70

Yeah, if you, if you win, then if your team sucks, you can. Still, you can still be like, Yeah, that's right. We got the best home run hitter in Major League baseball. It's provable. You can, at least, like, pretend, to celebrate that.

00:14:47.96 – 00:14:57.76

But when he, when he doesn't win, it's just like, What are what are we doing, Pete? Where are we doing, man? Um? Also, of note, Christian Yelich, that Coward did not compete in the home run derby. Don't do that.

00:14:58.20 – 00:15:10.68

Don't do that, what? He's a coward. No, no, no. Christian, our good friend, Uh, wisely. Took the home run Derby off because he wants to focus on the second half and he should do that for the rest of his career.

00:15:10.82 – 00:15:19.98

He's a coward, he's not. Yeah, that's what he's going to do. He's, he's. I think he's afraid of how much he's going to love watching me. And you tongue punch each other's spark boxes.

00:15:20.42 – 00:15:35.62

He's going to have to watch, you know, that, right? Like, if if he ends up winning the home run Derby, he's going to have to click onto. Whatever video we put out of me and you licking each other's buttholes? Yes, absolutely. Um. We also should note the All-star jerseys were terrible. I don't know what they were doing.

00:15:35.78 – 00:15:57.44

They looked so, so bad. Uh, it's feels like it's you shouldn't, you shouldn't be like it should be easy to not mess this up. And I also wouldn't hate it if they. I don't know if they you. I feel like I remember that they used to, but did they ever do it? Where it was just roads and home? Like you wore your uniform with like an emblem on it.

00:15:57.72 – 00:16:04.56

Yeah, I think for a while it was like that, Yeah, I love that. I know that they used to let them wear their own hats.

00:16:05.44 – 00:16:17.62

I pft. I think it's also just baseball in general, that is is ripe for us. Just changing rules, it's it's the most the the rules feel they, they change some for the better.

00:16:17.62 – 00:16:34.06

Pitch Clock has been awesome. Only Billy doesn't like it, cause he, he wants to get drunk. And uh, there's been a lot of good rule changes. But go back to some of the old school, maybe we're just getting nostalgic, but go back to some of the like the Nineties, All-star home run Derby stuff, yeah.

00:16:34.14 – 00:16:52.88

So the N.B.A. gets all their rule changes from Reddit to To a fault, the MLB gets all the rule changes from Truth Social. There's gotta be some like Halfway, meet in the middle, where just common sense can prevail and try to help out. Rob Manford Whatever it is, they should have made the bases even bigger for the All-star game. That would have been, that would have been great.

00:16:53.12 – 00:17:17.26

Just giant bases hit the button, make the bases bigger. Um, okay, so, uh, reminder we we with the rest of our show, we were actually back together. So Hot Seat, Cool Throne and Guys on Chicks and Dallas, Goddard and Mount Rushmore were all in the same room. Um, but Friday take ease over 20 different awards Blake of the Year podcast Listener of the Year.

00:17:17.40 – 00:17:35.46

It was a fantastic show, it's one of my favorite shows every year. A lot of pressure, a lot of pressure. Hope everyone's doing their job. Subscribing and unsubscribing, sharing it, going up to a random phone, subscribing, listening to it, playing the YouTube on loop, all these things matter.

00:17:35.64 – 00:17:57.62

I would like to go to a public library and go to every computer and click Subscribe on part of the take. And start playing the YouTube and just have it, do the playlist and have it play every screen in the Apple Store. Yes, yes, someone do that for us, and maybe maybe you will win your eight straight, UH, award winning Listener Awards.

00:17:57.68 – 00:18:15.02

Uh, okay, let's kick it back to ourselves. Hot Seat, Cool Throne, Mount, Rushmore of Triangles, Dallas Goddard and Guys on Chicks. You all know, you can get kick-ass coolers from Arctic for half the price of the other guys, right? Well, if you don't know Arctic, that's r t I c.

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00:18:48.04 – 00:18:52.78

You're up first as rising. Wow, never thought you'd go first. My hot seat. Is America, okay?

00:18:52.94 – 00:19:07.18

Why, uh, my good friends over in Thailand came out at a burger king Thailand called the Real Cheeseburger. It's just 20 slices of cheese in between a bun. Yeah, it rocks, it rocks.

00:19:07.28 – 00:19:17.94

And and this is bad timing for Zion Williamson, who's who's just been talking about how hard he's trying to maintain weight. That's going to be an issue for him. I'm going to have one. Yeah, well, you gotta go.

00:19:18.42 – 00:19:27.82

Well, no, there's some places over here in America. I know that there's an international McDonald's here in Chicago, there's definitely an international Burger King somewhere. Yeah, I mean, it looks delicious.

00:19:27.90 – 00:19:47.22

So it's just a grilled cheese with 20 pieces of cheese, but does the cheese grill? I don't know, dude, grilled cheese is, I think. Top top meals that you can randomly crave. Yeah, you guys ever have that? Where it's like, there's. It's not something you eat very often, but it's like every, I don't know, month or two months.

00:19:47.22 – 00:20:03.42

I say to myself, I really want to grill cheese. I also think that a grilled cheese is one of those things, that it's better the less effort that you put into it. Like, you can make a gourmet grilled cheese with some of the best cheese in the world. But for my money, if you just take like two slices of Wonder bread and some craft singles, that's perfect.

00:20:03.52 – 00:20:11.78

And a shitload of butter, shitload of butter, shitload of butter. Some people nice crispiness. Some people put mayonnaise on both sides, which sounds gross, but as a male boy, I approve.

00:20:11.88 – 00:20:20.88

And it works, it actually gives you a nice crisp on either side. That reminds me one time, Papa John's rip Papa, what's he up to these days? We got to track him down.

00:20:20.90 – 00:20:36.26

He's running for government, he's running for government, just in general, he's going to be government. But one time, Papa John's had a special where they had. If your football team scored a certain number of touchdowns, you got a free topping for every touchdown they scored.

00:20:36.52 – 00:20:50.06

And one it was back, like 2013. The Redskins scored, I don't know, like 50 points out of nowhere. And so I ordered a Papa John's pizza that had 11 extra cheeses on it, and that reminded me a lot of it. It was just piled high.

00:20:50.14 – 00:20:57.38

It was maybe the best pizza ever, it was like deep dish, so cheese is back, cheese is back, America's in the hot seat.

00:20:57.68 – 00:21:14.92

And then the cool throne, I'm gonna put myself on the cool throne. We started a home run league, Dingers Only Fantasy Baseball League. T.J. producer of that show, told me that Vlad Grote Jr. was a bad pick because he doesn't have a good home run swing. He won the home run derby.

00:21:15.20 – 00:21:42.98

And I think since we've already established that we can kind of change rules and reformat things, that I should be retroactively awarded points. Considering it's a Dingers only league, the whole point of the league is to pick players that hit Dingers. So the home run Derby should be the World Series. So you think that he should have 25 points because he hit that many home runs? No, no. The real thing is, if we're a Dingers only league, we should be awarding the best dinger hitter in the league.

00:21:43.62 – 00:21:56.86

And whoever's team he's on, that's your person. You should get extra points, no? What we need to do, we need to stay one ahead of NBA and Adam Silver. Next year, we'll have an in-season tournament that will be played on the home run Derby. The Dinger's Cup. Yeah, the Dinger's Cup.

00:21:57.14 – 00:22:15.30

You pick a player on the home run Derby and that becomes the Dinger's Cup. I think we should vote on whether, I mean, it's just okay, all right, let's vote, all right. Yeah, put up to vote for everybody, let's just do the three of us in this room. Who thinks Hank should get a lot of points for a meaningless competition? That wasn't part of the It's Dingers Only and my guy hit the most dingers.

00:22:15.30 – 00:22:19.34

Hank doesn't even vote for himself. Okay, all those against all right. Oh, Hank's hands up.

?Unknown Speaker
00:22:19.62 – 00:22:20.32

Okay, so three, nothing.

1Speaker 1
00:22:20.56 – 00:22:28.36

No, no, sorry, Hank, you voted against yourself. It's a Dingers only league. I think in the spirit of competition, I think all the awls would agree with me.

00:22:28.46 – 00:22:38.68

In the spirit of competition, you're gaslighting us. It's dingers only. And I had the player that hit the home run derby, you know what? We'll let you have Vlad's home run derby total.

00:22:38.82 – 00:22:44.36

You can't golf for the rest of the summer. Well, then I'd win the league. Probably. Yeah, yeah.

00:22:46.74 – 00:22:55.38

You wouldn't. Are you serious right now? I don't want to fucking do the punishment. I mean, I think you used to pitch, true.

00:22:56.28 – 00:22:56.92

You're lefty.

00:22:59.28 – 00:23:12.38

I just feel like I should be awarded for it. Okay, so you and I know that if either of you two were in the same position, you would, actually, I wouldn't. Just the same way you retroactively change the rules, you would re-retroactively change the rules for yourselves. I'm going to die. I won't count any of Ryan Mountcastle's home run Derby swings.

00:23:12.76 – 00:23:25.52

Yeah, I just whatever. It's Dingers only. I thought. In the spirit of the league, you know, Dingers, we should be awarding the greatest dinger hitter in the league. Vlad Garo Jr. If the guy on your team makes the postseason, those dingers count.

00:23:26.26 – 00:23:34.92

No, let's just keep going with dingers only, not home run dingers from the home run Derby. That doesn't. What are you talking about? A dinger's a dinger.

00:23:35.58 – 00:23:44.48

If you said, and I agree, it shouldn't be. Every home run he hit, but since he won the Oh, you want one, I'll give you one. I think like five or ten. No, no, you can get one home run.

00:23:44.64 – 00:23:54.56

Ten bonus points. It seems like a fair fair. We already voted. Disagree. Uh, you're just doing this because there's some people who are like, Do home run dingers count? Oh, you know what it was?

00:23:54.58 – 00:23:59.24

It was Tom Tom Fratelli. Oh yeah, yeah. He was like, Do home run dingers count? They should count.

00:23:59.80 – 00:24:04.06

You're stealing, Tom's thinking. No, no, no, yeah, yeah, you are. yeah, you are.

00:24:04.12 – 00:24:19.02

My DMs the past three weeks have been flooded with exclusively people saying that's weird because the show came out last week. Dingers only and you haven't been on your phone, Dingers only and Big Cat tried to rob me in dungeons and dragons.

00:24:19.48 – 00:24:25.68

How I mean, I could. There's been so many that also came out. How did I try to rob you, like three days ago?

00:24:25.84 – 00:24:37.82

They just said that I should have, I should have. I got the most kills by a wide margin, but I killed you, but you, I already should have. You should have already been dead. No, but I killed you, so how could you have the most kills when I killed the guy?

00:24:37.90 – 00:24:49.84

If you had the most kills, I killed you, because if you had followed the rules correctly, then wait. Tim Woods is the one who judges the rules. Are you questioning Tim Woods? This is also it goes against the spirit of dungeons and dragons. 100, exactly.

00:24:50.64 – 00:25:06.78

It's also you guys not giving me points for winning the home run Derby. It goes against the Dingers only league. Yes, the league is Dingers only, and you're not crediting the home run Derby. So just so that we can recap, this is pathetic, man. You want home runs to count in a made-up tournament that doesn't have anything to do with the actual league? No, no, no, no, no.

00:25:06.78 – 00:25:18.14

To count. And you also think Tim Woods is an idiot, fiction, fiction. I think that if you, the person on your team in the Dingers Only league, wins the home run Derby, you should get extra points. Okay, how about a pizza party?

00:25:18.88 – 00:25:23.14

Yeah, we'll give you a pizza party done dingers only pizza party done fine.

00:25:23.28 – 00:25:26.62

Yeah, you won the Dingers Cup. good job, Hank. won the first ever Dingers Cup 10 points.

00:25:26.70 – 00:25:30.98

Yeah, Dingers Cup pizza party. Good job, great job. Hank in season, that wasn't pathetic at all.

00:25:31.06 – 00:25:36.04

Yeah, that wasn't. I mean, it's Dingers only, right? You won a participation trophy? Yeah, it's Dingers only.

00:25:37.06 – 00:25:44.06

He won the home run Derby of Dingers. Okay, good job, good job, Hank, you won the cup, you won the in-season Cup.

00:25:44.94 – 00:25:58.48

Okay, pft, your hot seat, cool throne, my hot seat is. Chiefs-a-holic. Yeah, Chiefs-a-holic got arrested, the law caught up to him, and he was putting cuffs, and some more details came out about Chiefs-a-holic's crime spree.

00:25:58.58 – 00:26:23.02

Apparently it wasn't just him robbing one bank in Oklahoma. Apparently this dude went around the country, kind of, as we suspected, to every Road Chiefs game, robbing banks. He had an ironclad, foolproof method of laundering his money, which was he would take his cash to a casino. Exchange it for chips, play like one hand of blackjack and then turn his chips back in. They put all that together, so he's busted by the Feds big time.

00:26:23.10 – 00:26:34.82

Probably going to go to prison for a while. Wait, are you saying he wasn't a criminal mastermind? I'm saying what I am saying about Chiefs-a-holic is, Don't we have bigger fish to fry than Chiefs-a-holic? don't we as a nation?

00:26:35.42 – 00:26:39.06

Nobody went to jail for the financial crisis back in 2007 2008.

00:26:39.46 – 00:26:51.20

All those bankers are still out there. Chiefs-a-holic is basically a modern day Robin hood. Stole from the banks. Gave to himself. And we're castigating him for it, We're throwing him in jail, maybe for the rest of his life.

00:26:51.26 – 00:26:56.26

It feels messed up. Yes, also, he should have left the country. Yeah, what is Billy going to do now?

00:26:56.48 – 00:27:01.64

Nothing that was Billy's only job was to hunt this guy down. Yeah, keep Chiefs-a-holic on the run, yeah.

00:27:01.82 – 00:27:11.52

Or find him. My other hot seat is novelty drinks. Because Margaritaville and Times Square closed, it shut its doors, it was a great place.

00:27:11.76 – 00:27:21.14

I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. They had at least upwards of one working elevator at any given time. How many times did you go? I went once? Do you think you're somewhat to blame?

00:27:21.52 – 00:27:25.04

For leaving, for moving to Chicago? probably yeah, no, no, just for not...

00:27:25.04 – 00:27:32.96

You should have been going every weekend. Well, I tried to go twice, but the first time I went. It's a vacation destination, they close it down for the summer, it wasn't open in the summer.

00:27:33.00 – 00:27:44.42

And then it was only open in November, which is when I went. Surprisingly, not a lot of people go to Margaritaville in November and December in Times Square in New York City. I never saw this failing. This is brutal. I tried my very best to make it work.

00:27:44.80 – 00:27:53.58

It didn't work out, I do. There was a small part of me that was like, you know, oh shit. They saw that PFT is moving to Chicago. Who's going to come to our resort? And they're like, we better close this thing down.

00:27:53.62 – 00:28:01.24

But I didn't see a way that it was going to fail, and it failed, which is very, very sad. I'm going to miss that Margaritaville. Margaritaville should be too big to fail, it should.

00:28:01.24 – 00:28:12.10

It should be subsidized by the government. Yeah, I'm going to miss it, but I will find there are other Margaritavilles out there which I will be going to. Then my cool throne is, I was going to say, Zion Williamson.

00:28:12.60 – 00:28:30.26

I mentioned it earlier. He talked about how he has something to blame for his weight gain and his issues. He's getting paid a lot of money when he's 24 or 22 years old, having all the money in the world, and it's tough to not eat. I understand if you gave me that much money when I was 22, I would also get fat as fuck.

00:28:30.70 – 00:28:39.14

But my other cool throne is going to be the USA, because the USA beat Canada in the CONCACAF Gold Cup finals. No, that was the quarterfinals, Oh.

00:28:39.42 – 00:28:51.12

So we moved on. We beat the dastardly Canadians in a penalty kick shootout and it was awesome. The shootout was fun as fuck. It started out with maybe the most dramatic scene I've ever seen in professional soccer.

00:28:51.66 – 00:29:00.30

Both the teams were lined up waiting to start kicking, and the ref was like, No, you guys got to back up to midfield. The USA said, Fuck you, I'm not leaving Canada, you move first.

00:29:00.38 – 00:29:10.78

Then we'll move. So it was a standoff, just both teams waiting for each other. After about two minutes of both teams not moving. Canada started to backpedal first, and then the USA was like, That's right, bitch.

00:29:10.80 – 00:29:17.76

We told you to move. They backed up. Matt Turner stepped in goalkeeper for Arsenal. Which is why they're so good, why they won the Champions League last year.

00:29:18.24 – 00:29:23.86

And so he started backing up, or the rest of the team started backing up. We go on to win, dominate Canada again tonight.

00:29:24.00 – 00:29:31.04

We're playing Panama in the semifinals. easy dub up yours, Panama. Are we going to put out our best team? Give us the canal back.

00:29:31.28 – 00:29:36.10

Probably not, okay, probably not. I think they're still taking a break. Hank pretends that he doesn't like soccer.

00:29:36.86 – 00:29:45.72

I think deep down inside, you would like rooting for America. Hank, I'm just looking for a really good Champions League team. That's not what you're looking for.

00:29:47.24 – 00:29:57.24

We've talked about this. Burnley Champions League is like the top teams they play in the tournament, you're looking for a really good Championship League team.

00:29:57.24 – 00:30:05.24

What the fuck is the difference? There's like the Championship Champion team? Yeah, no, Champions League is the highest of high.

00:30:06.00 – 00:30:12.36

You're looking for a second tier team in England? Yes, right, that's not Champions League shit.

00:30:12.74 – 00:30:19.20

Yeah, that's okay. Champions League is like the top of every European league, right? Got it League is a little confused.

00:30:19.34 – 00:30:28.78

So there's Champions League and Championship League, English Premier League, and then I'm pretty sure the second league is called the English Championship League. So that is confusing. I would agree with you.

00:30:28.86 – 00:30:41.48

The Champions League is like teams from all over Europe. I've just been thinking about, I want to get into soccer, I really want to find a good Championship League team. I need to double check to make sure I was right about this.

00:30:41.72 – 00:30:47.82

Because you know what I love about international soccer, though I actually don't give a fuck. It gives you every excuse to just be like, Fuck you, we're from America, yeah.

00:30:47.94 – 00:30:55.52

It's the English League, Championship, is the second league? Quite confusing, I would agree, and then I think it just goes like League two.

00:30:55.62 – 00:30:59.48

And then, like, Oh, no, what's La Liga? No, no, no, that's Spain.

00:30:59.48 – 00:31:10.78

It's even more confusing. It goes EPL, I know that one, then it goes English League Championship, then it goes English League One.

00:31:12.16 – 00:31:20.50

That's the third one, that's the third one, that is tricky. Where's the La Liga rank? In those four? La Liga is not in what we're talking about.

00:31:20.68 – 00:31:26.36

Yeah, I don't know what that means, I just hear people say it. That's where Messi used to play. The Farmers League, Yeah, the Farmers League.

00:31:26.48 – 00:31:36.94

Farmers only. All right, my hot seat is Darren Revelle. So Pat Fitzgerald got fired from Northwestern, I was a little shocked.

00:31:37.02 – 00:31:57.54

I thought he'd survive it, but it seems like more came out, seemed like it was a situation that was bigger than one thing. And then Darren Revelle went 24 hours silence on Twitter, finally broke his silence after about 27 hours and just wrote Sad period Darkness retreat for Old Darren.

00:31:57.78 – 00:32:06.58

He was probably doing some mental gymnastics. Listen, Darren, it happens to the best of us. You all get got sometime. You have to take it like a man, you have to issue a statement.

00:32:07.02 – 00:32:15.94

I know a lot of people online were waiting. What does Darren Revelle have to say about this? Does he have a comment? Is he going to take the side of his coach? is he going to take the side of his university?

00:32:16.34 – 00:32:29.60

Yeah, he tried very hard. He's got a lot of Pat Fitzgerald Merch. Probably. He got a ESPN headline changed, so there was a moment, if you follow the whole thing, he got it. There was an ESPN headline that said, Pat Fitzgerald knew.

00:32:30.46 – 00:32:49.54

And he got very upset, was like, there's no evidence that he knew, and then they changed it. He probably thought that he had staved off everyone at that point. Then he got fired. I imagined in my head. He is the woman at the inauguration of Trump who falls to her knees and yells No when he got fired.

00:32:49.66 – 00:32:57.24

He'd known him for 27 years, his very good friend. What happens if they get a coach that doesn't like Darren Revelle? He never hazed Darren Revelle, Yeah.

00:32:57.38 – 00:33:06.54

Darren definitely needed some hazing. Yeah, the internet was broken down trying to figure out whether or not hazing was a good or bad thing. It was a banner day for people who were like, I got hazed. I turned out fine.

00:33:06.96 – 00:33:19.50

Usually, when you say I turned out fine about anything, it means that you did not turn out fine. Yep, it means when you say like, I got hazed and I turned out just fine, except I'm a person that goes online to defend hazing. Yeah, besides that.

00:33:19.58 – 00:33:32.08

That's like Andrew Tate usually has one of those a month where he's like, My dad hit me when I was a kid. Look how I turned out. I'm great. I am technically in a Romanian prison right now, but nothing bad happened to me, I think.

00:33:32.08 – 00:33:40.56

One thing that's such a great point. Anyone who says, I turned out fine, you are not about anything. It could be like, x, y Z happened to me when I was a kid, I turned out fine.

00:33:40.72 – 00:33:46.24

Yeah, my father made me smoke cigarettes when I was five years old. Look how I turned out. Yeah, I'm great.

00:33:46.34 – 00:33:56.08

I'm totally fine, I'm totally great, I'm not mad at all, I'm totally fine about it. I think one thing we can all agree on, though, is a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach would be Urban Meyer.

00:33:56.42 – 00:34:05.38

Ooh, let's get Urban back in the conversation, not afraid to get his hands dirty. The guy is a molder of young men, and let's just get Urban back in the big ten, yeah.

00:34:05.42 – 00:34:13.90

And say what you will like, you know, hazing not okay, Urban Meyer will just do it himself by kicking kickers. Yeah, exactly, he'll be the head hazer, yeah.

00:34:13.90 – 00:34:21.20

He knew all along, Yeah, um, the naked, the naked bear crawl doesn't sound like hazing. that part just sounds like guys being dudes, yeah.

00:34:21.26 – 00:34:25.68

The rest of it, yeah, you can make some arguments for it. I did a naked bear crawl when I was a kid. I turned out fine.

00:34:25.68 – 00:34:43.16

It turned out fine. It was, um, it was definitely a situation though, that, uh, when you're, when you're watching Ravel, just go silent. I don't actually care what he has to say, I just know that if it was any other school, he would be the first to talk about it. Complete hypocrite, uh, and coward.

00:34:43.16 – 00:35:13.52

And then all he said was sad. Also knowing him, knowing the, you know, the infamous Super Bowl video where he, like, has all of his tweets crafted and planned before. The all-star. Homerun Derby night is a huge night. For those random stupid tweets that he probably had to, he probably had to like, wash at least 10 to 15 tweets about random homerun Derby related factoids because he had to stay silent. Yeah, the length of all the home runs added together could like, but could go across the country. That sort of shit, yes.

00:35:13.64 – 00:35:16.86

Yeah, it's a big night for him. You're right, he went radio silent. That was sad to see.

00:35:17.02 – 00:35:34.90

He probably had some really cool old pictures of Vlad Jr, you know, and it just, it was just. It was very funny. I was just watching it, I was on, I was on Ravel Watch and he just had a picture of the parking at. In Seattle for the homerun Derby, is his last tweet from like, 1pm on Monday, that was it.

00:35:34.94 – 00:35:47.74

That's just. It was so perfect. We didn't get any concession stand prices, no concession stand. It was really. It was a disservice that I did to his followers. Do you think he's more sad that Pat Fitzgerald got fired because he knows him and he had an in and like, he considered him a friend?

00:35:47.74 – 00:35:54.84

Or because, I know, for a fact, he owns over three pieces of Pat Fitzgerald. Member Yeah, probably that one. Yeah, it's probably not.

00:35:55.12 – 00:36:08.08

I own, I own nine dreadlocks that got cut off of Northwestern players before they were deemed acceptable to join the team. I owe three bars of soap that were used in the human loofah. Now, what am I supposed to do with this? a shrek mask? What am I going to do?

00:36:08.16 – 00:36:15.18

Yeah, yeah, that's definitely what he's thinking right now. He probably has, like, Pat Fitzgerald, Social Security card from when he was, like, a kid, I do.

00:36:15.36 – 00:36:37.58

I think that we should hire their strength and conditioning guy, though. Yeah, he's the man. And then my cool throne is, uh, all of us being intelligent people. Because I had a moment I was reading an article the other day, uh, that I was like, You know what, I? I'm hard on myself for being a shit for brains. But no one's as dumb as the guy who got caught in the college baseball betting scandal.

00:36:37.58 – 00:36:59.60

I don't know if you guys saw this, but the report finally came out. Exactly what happened? I'm going to read this to you real quick. Uh? On April 28th, Bert Eugene Neff Jr. walked into the Bet MGM Sports book at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati in possession of a large amount of cash. Looking to make a huge score? His proposed wager quickly aroused concern and suspicion among the staff.

00:36:59.86 – 00:37:39.36

Three people familiar with the investigation told Sports Illustrated that Neff wanted to bet more than $100,000 on a college baseball game that night, Alabama at number one LSU. The game had gotten virtually no gambling traffic, and Neff's desire to bet on the Tigers far exceeded the sports book established house limit on college baseball. It was foolhardy act that created a surreal scene, and the ripple effects from that incident continued to be felt more than a month later. So here's exactly what happened. Uh, Neff and obscure youth league coach from Mooresville, Indiana, with a pension for net. Networking and recruiting circles, stood at the window and pleaded his case for making the huge wager to the book staff.

00:37:39.40 – 00:38:13.88

The sources say he indicated this is to the staff, he indicated that he had inside information on the game and he did it in the palm of his hand. Neff was texting with Alabama baseball coach Brad Bohannon via the encrypted messaging app Signal, while at the ticket window, attempting to place the wager, the sources say his texting was so indiscreet. To the point that the book's video surveillance cameras were able to zoom in on the details of Neff and Bohannon's text exchange, making Bohannon's name visible later in screenshots.

00:38:14.54 – 00:38:28.50

Video cameras can see the text conversation back and forth. It couldn't have been more reckless it was. I don't know how you could be done with that. He walked up to the window, had a hundred thousand dollars on a game that has no one betting on it, saying I have inside information.

00:38:28.52 – 00:38:48.00

Then went, stood back, texted the coach so brazenly that they were able to just be like, Dude, you're, you're literally texting the coach right in front of him. That's partially on the coach for giving that tip to maybe his biggest shithead friend. Because he knew that this is a guy that could not be trusted with information. If you know this kind of guy at all, you know that he would do something like this. You gotta just be like, be cool man.

00:38:48.18 – 00:38:53.96

Play cool, tell it to your friend who's cool it was. It was a great reminder, like, Hey, I'm dumb, I'm not that dumb.

00:38:54.18 – 00:39:01.32

No, Paul Pelosi doesn't go up to Nasdaq. And he's like, I've got a great tip on semiconductors. Let me put my bit. My trade in, come on, this trade needs to go in.

00:39:01.40 – 00:39:10.56

I'm, look, I'm on the phone with my wife right now, she's demanding that I log this. This option, I need to put it in right now. Please backdate this for to yesterday, yeah.

00:39:10.62 – 00:39:17.20

Right now, sir? But yeah, made me feel good. Also cool thrown. Zuck is pretty jacked, yes.

00:39:17.20 – 00:39:26.30

Yeah, it's got like an eight pack. Although if I was that rich, I I'd either be fat as shit like Zion, or I'd be jacked as hell like Mark Zuckerberg. No in between.

00:39:26.30 – 00:39:30.56

I would just do the drugs to get jacked to ship and just still eat. Yeah, yeah, right, exactly.

00:39:30.58 – 00:39:44.12

Just eat and just take drugs and have someone. I do you think that someone could get rich enough, like, do you think the very richest people in the world have? People just work out their body form. I've always wondered if just somebody that comes by with the electric stimulator.

00:39:44.12 – 00:40:01.54

It just basically pushes your your arms as you bench press. Just move me, move me around, but do all the motions for me, knock me out. That's actually. That's a good idea for the next. Like home workout device is just a big suit that you strap yourself into, and it just moves you around.

00:40:01.58 – 00:40:07.12

So you don't have to think about doing it, you just sit in the suit for 30 minutes, you get a workout. It's it's the old Babe Ruth machine, yeah.

00:40:07.14 – 00:40:12.74

When he would just stand in there and it would just jiggle, oh, the the towel on two sticks that just moves. Yeah, yeah, nobody does that one anymore.

00:40:12.78 – 00:40:19.86

I'm sure it worked. Why not, or? or? or just laying down and having someone throw a medicine ball at your stomach. Yeah, I think that's how Harry Houdini died.

00:40:20.24 – 00:40:22.96

No, he got punched. No, I know, yeah, you got punched in his stomach, yeah.

00:40:23.36 – 00:40:23.54

R.

00:40:23.54 – 00:40:23.68

I.

00:40:23.68 – 00:40:28.28

P R.I.p to a great one double. H okay.

00:40:28.80 – 00:40:47.78

Let's get to our Mount Rushmore, Mount Rushmore triangles. And then we have a great, great interview with Dallas Goddard from the Philadelphia Eagles. He was, I would say, our MVP from TEU because we interviewed him and we basically said, That guy fucking rocks, we love him. So it's a must listen.

00:40:48.16 – 00:41:00.00

Before we do that, PFT, you had a quick word for one of our sponsors. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious, with Reese's and Hershey's only one.

00:41:00.00 – 00:41:17.14

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00:41:17.24 – 00:41:36.10

Whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings, or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout. One also has other delicious flavors like Birthday Cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler. Find all One bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com. Okay, Mount Rushmore time.

00:41:36.24 – 00:41:53.46

We are doing the Mount Rushmore of triangles, Mount Rushmore of trying this one for a long time. Contentious. Uh, pft and I are first, then Billy and Jake, then Hank and Max. Uh, we're going to go, we're going to go hard in the paint, start the first one.

00:41:59.12 – 00:42:09.18

Dun dun, dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun, dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Shark fin Boom Shark Fin, the scariest thing you see above the water?

00:42:09.70 – 00:42:19.60

The Shark Fin Last Thing you see Before you get fucked, maybe the most dangerous triangle has ever done the jaws ride at Universal. No, you see the fin. Ooh, scary, scary.

00:42:19.70 – 00:42:24.66

Shark, fin, Shark, Fin, Shark, Fin. Number one Triangle. Yeah, thank you.

00:42:24.66 – 00:42:37.88

Thank you, thank you guys. That's as close as we'll get to just having them blow us. It's it's, it's. It's great. When they're actually is a good pick, and we all have to begrudgingly be like, good pick, cause, you know, it takes a lot.

00:42:38.28 – 00:42:45.56

Yeah, all right. We're going to go with something that everyone in the world has had, and everyone in the world likes a slice of pizza. Ooh, that's a good pick.

00:42:49.28 – 00:42:51.68

We studied, we came ready. Good pick.

00:42:53.80 – 00:43:02.46

Max Max Oh, it's us, doesn't want to do this for a very long time. Uh, we will go with a tortilla chip.

00:43:02.90 – 00:43:13.60

Ooh, good pick, good pick, it's a good pick and then we will go with. This might be contentious. The pyramids.

00:43:14.10 – 00:43:27.48

Ooh, not a triangle, they're called a different shape. We have this on our list, but Billy shot it down, cause it's three dimensional, it's, but it's triangular.

00:43:27.82 – 00:43:39.28

I feel like that is a pyramid, a triangle it has, it has more than three sides. I guess triangle has three sides. That's more than three sides. But if you're looking at it from the front, you're seeing three sides.

00:43:39.28 – 00:43:48.38

Okay, from the front, what's the front of a triangle? what's the front of a pyramid? Wherever they put the fucking king inside, they put it inside the pyramid.

00:43:48.46 – 00:43:57.82

So the pyramids of Giza, or just the pyramids? are you talking about Giza? Is it allowed? I think, I mean, I think it's triangular shape, maybe, just say, a silhouette of a pyramid.

00:43:57.82 – 00:44:02.68

I don't have a problem with it playing. Okay, here's the thing. They're literally built by aliens. I will iconic.

00:44:02.88 – 00:44:11.32

I vote to allow Hank's bullshit pick, but just know people are going to come at you for it. So what do you want, the pyramids of Giza, or just the pyramids taking the pyramids? Okay?

00:44:12.94 – 00:44:19.40

All right, Billy, Um, I think the one you came up with right here, yep, yep, go ahead.

00:44:20.52 – 00:44:23.34

Wait, did you guys pick twice? Yeah, it took tortilla. Yeah, that's right.

00:44:26.06 – 00:44:32.30

A beer pong rack? Why were you just taking a picture of me? I'm sending it to someone for what? Where can you meet right now?

00:44:32.34 – 00:44:37.64

I said, No, I'm recording. Who? asked Stephen Check, Oh, uh, should we redo that?

00:44:37.80 – 00:44:42.10

What'd you do? No, that's fine. A rack beer pong ball, a rack of beer pong cups. Okay, that's good.

00:44:43.02 – 00:44:49.68

Fuck off beer pong Rack So are you talking about the full rack six? are you talking about 10 rack? Either way, they're triangular.

00:44:50.30 – 00:44:59.52

Yeah, but I want to know specifically. Oh, we're just putting a beer pong rack like 21 cup. I want to know what Billy's thought of a beer pong rack is. I mean, I like to play 21 Cup.

00:45:00.06 – 00:45:05.44

Okay, okay, sick. I like to play 22 cup, isn't that called man pong? Yeah, for men.

00:45:05.78 – 00:45:12.24

Dude, you ever do the full table? That was that ruled you civil war. Yeah, Billy, when was the last time you played beer pong?

00:45:12.98 – 00:45:17.58

How often did you actually play beer pong? Oh, literally, the full entire table is beer pong, so not triangular, no a hundred cup.

00:45:17.68 – 00:45:26.96

You can rack like a couple of times, but it's the entire table's full, a hundred cups, pretty cool. It's basically dudes, just being like, we don't have any plans for the afternoon, so let's just here's our plan.

00:45:27.08 – 00:45:33.00

Let's do a six hour activity where we get hammered. This will be awesome and then, and it is, yeah, until you get into a fight.

00:45:33.04 – 00:45:38.16

Yeah, with your best friend. Uh, okay, good pick, thank you.

00:45:38.20 – 00:45:40.96

Good picks all around. Yeah, pretty, pretty good pick, except pyramids.

00:45:42.74 – 00:45:50.48

They got Pft with the wraparound, Okay, pft. I think pyramids are the most iconic thing ever built, they're one of the seven wonders of the world.

00:45:50.56 – 00:45:55.58

And you're disparaging it. I'm not denying that, I'm just saying, Are they triangles? Yes, okay.

00:45:56.58 – 00:46:01.54

They're not you're the geometry expert, they're made up of triangles. How many geometry classes have you taken in your life? All right?

00:46:01.58 – 00:46:07.46

Well, a piece of pizza is not a triangle, but, uh, slices. there's three sides. Yeah, we, we picked a slice, yeah.

00:46:07.48 – 00:46:10.88

We picked a slice slice of pizza. Okay, I pick one side of the pyramid, yep.

00:46:11.28 – 00:46:12.60

What do you think about Number 10?

00:46:13.72 – 00:46:17.28

Yeah, I go, I think we'll go eight and 10, okay, all right.

00:46:17.28 – 00:46:18.54

I'll say you say 10.

00:46:19.04 – 00:46:24.56

Okay, uh, eight is going to be the hurdle button in Madden. ooh, the hurdle button in Madden.

00:46:24.66 – 00:46:28.56

Sick sick button. What is it? Well, that's only on PlayStation, it's PlayStation, yeah.

00:46:28.74 – 00:46:31.44

PlayStation Yeah, okay, no, the hurdle button, and what about?

00:46:31.44 – 00:46:36.30

On Xbox it's Y, that's Y, on PlayStation it's it's triangle, yeah.

00:46:37.12 – 00:46:45.96

Learn ball. So it's Y, and triangle is your answer? No, it's triangle. So do you want the hurdle button madden on a PS4? No.

00:46:46.06 – 00:46:51.86

No, we can afford PS5. Just the hurdle button in Madden. Jake, Jake, you're making this super complicated.

00:46:53.60 – 00:46:57.16

You're picking a triangle and y don't listen to him, shut up.

00:46:59.16 – 00:47:07.70

People will know what the hurdle button in Madden is. What about a person that's only played Xbox? Okay, well, then they'll figure out what it is. What about a person that's never been to Egypt? Hank?

00:47:07.80 – 00:47:16.16

Also, I'm an Xbox guy, but I know exactly what I've played a PlayStation before. Yeah, I haven't. you've never played a PlayStation before. That's a lie.

00:47:16.16 – 00:47:21.30

That is a lie cap, that is an absolute fucking lie. Xbox You've never played a plate.

00:47:21.36 – 00:47:25.78

We have a PlayStation in the office. You've never played it? Nope, that's a lie. We'll, we'll find footage.

00:47:25.92 – 00:47:28.64

Wait, so, try, so, yeah, I mean, I guess we'll find footage shut up.

00:47:28.84 – 00:47:33.14

Exactly, there's a triangle on the PlayStation line. Oh yeah, okay, all right.

00:47:33.60 – 00:47:42.82

Our next one, that's a pick we're going to go with the blue Mountain. Emojis on Coors light, that's right on a can, look at a can of Coors light.

00:47:43.06 – 00:47:47.04

It's two blue triangles. Yep, well, it's actually what it's not.

00:47:47.20 – 00:47:51.28

It's like, one, two, three, that's over, that is a five, it's actually technically.

00:47:51.78 – 00:47:59.96

No, we're talking about the ones that turn blue. It's not an equilateral Pentagon. I will say, there's five sides, that's a mountain range, No, that's five sides.

00:48:00.02 – 00:48:04.44

There's actually three sides, we're talking about, five shut up, there's five sides. Let me show you right now.

00:48:04.84 – 00:48:13.72

I'm not talking about like the designed mountains that are like drawn on there. I'm talking about the one off the top, spikey, up and down dude. It's that's not a triangle.

00:48:13.72 – 00:48:21.66

It's two triangles, yeah, but they're overlapping, but there's no cut. Yeah, you picked a mountain range, you picked up the one, those are two triangles.

00:48:21.72 – 00:48:25.86

That is fucking each other, yeah, but that's way less of a triangle than a pyramid, I'll tell you that much, that's a triangle.

00:48:25.86 – 00:48:33.16

If you look at it, those are two triangles, it's one, two, three, four, five sides. that's two triangles next to each other. Well, it doesn't look like that.

00:48:33.16 – 00:48:37.98

It looks like a five sided triangle, it's two overlapping triangles next to each other. You know this, you know why, Billy, you know why.

00:48:38.02 – 00:48:43.86

That's a twin peaked mountain because it's mountains, but that's a twin peaked mountain. Is it the mountain are blue or is it the mountains are blue?

00:48:43.92 – 00:48:49.04

Right, so you're picking a five side, we're picking the two triangles. That's like, worse than a pyramid, because way worse.

00:48:49.12 – 00:48:52.56

No, it's overlapping. We let pyramids stand. Yeah, we did. we just said that I'm letting it stand.

00:48:52.58 – 00:48:58.28

Okay, good, no, not moving on. You know you're wrong. No, I'm right. It's a twin peaked mountain.

00:48:58.28 – 00:49:04.00

The Coors Light Blue Mountain Billy, You're mad. you didn't think of it. It's all you see. when you see a Coors light can is red.

00:49:05.38 – 00:49:14.68

That's it, that's all you see, we see the whole beautiful can. We have no one. I know we got to go something else.

00:49:14.84 – 00:49:24.04

Why this? No, that's boring, that is not boring, dude, this one, this one.

00:49:24.38 – 00:49:31.58

No, the Bermuda Triangle. No, that's not boring. Okay, that's a good one. We have that on our list triangle.

00:49:31.72 – 00:49:43.50

Yeah, we don't. Our list, like, well, no, this triangle we already picked. It's the shark. Yeah, well, the fin doesn't. really. the fin tells you right before you're about to die, buddy.

00:49:43.94 – 00:49:53.30

No, I don't think anyone's died from a shark fin, I bet you someone. Also, dolphins have dorsal fins, too, and I've seen a lot you can take dolphin dorsal fins.

00:49:53.30 – 00:49:57.92

You can take dolphin fins, good pick, all right, but we want to see a shark fin. You're over.

00:49:58.16 – 00:50:05.58

Also, you can have Shark Fin soup and it gives you boners facts. All right, you guys have your last two picks, Hank Max.

00:50:08.66 – 00:50:15.28

Oh, I don't know, Max, give me a look. This is going to tie back to the pyramids as well. Oh, a tie back pick.

00:50:16.02 – 00:50:20.54

The Illuminati. Oh, that's a good pick, good pick, good pick, very good one.

00:50:20.62 – 00:50:23.00

Good pick, That's not a good one.

00:50:25.50 – 00:50:26.66

And then we'll go.

00:50:30.84 – 00:50:40.70

A guitar pick? Okay, I'll try guitar pick. Yeah, is it rounded? a little? It's rounded, but listen, I'm not in the business of integrating other people's picks.

00:50:40.92 – 00:50:46.44

Yeah, it is rounded. Yeah, I'll count that as a triangle, all right, we can take another one. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. Shark fins are rounded.

00:50:46.80 – 00:50:50.46

Yeah, what, yeah, they are. Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

00:50:50.54 – 00:50:56.86

It's a fine pick. it's a fine pick. Hank, it is a pick. No, yeah, no, I'm allowing it. it's literally a pick.

00:50:56.98 – 00:51:01.06

Yeah, a pick. it's a great pick, the pick pick you couldn't.

00:51:01.36 – 00:51:06.86

Shark fins are rounded. Fact or fiction? You can never play guitar without a guitar pick that, well, that's actually fiction, but like.

00:51:07.08 – 00:51:17.16

A lot of people I've ever heard of one of the greatest advancements in guitar playing was a guitar pick. Fact or fiction? I don't know if you can call that an advancement. Well, I guess it started.

00:51:17.26 – 00:51:24.26

It started without one, and then they advanced it. I guess, so so. FACT Yeah. I mean, Mark Knopfler is pretty good at guitar.

00:51:24.42 – 00:51:30.58

It doesn't use a pick. I'm sure you've heard of him. Dire straits, bro, money for nothing, I don't know.

00:51:32.90 – 00:51:36.24

Sultans of Swing Great song. Yeah, okay, okay.

00:51:36.30 – 00:51:43.26

All right, our final pick, PFT favorite Doritos. Okay, so that's a tortilla chip.

00:51:43.84 – 00:51:54.24

That's a tortilla chip. that's a tortilla chip. it's a tortilla chip. Jake, look up the ingredients of a dorito and tell me if tortilla chip is part of it, because it is. We had cool ranch dorito.

00:51:54.34 – 00:52:02.12

We had cool ranch dorito on our list, but we can't do it after tortilla chip. Yeah, like, Oh, I'm going to take a pepperoni pizza slice. Well, we didn't take cheese, yeah.

00:52:02.12 – 00:52:03.68

Okay, you're right. No, you're right, you're right, fair.

00:52:03.86 – 00:52:12.76

No, that was a good way to argue for yourself. We're going to go with the other one. I'm proud of you, that's fair. That was like a high school debater.

00:52:12.76 – 00:52:16.94

Right there, you fucking dominated, correct? It's not my first rodeo, yeah.

00:52:17.16 – 00:52:26.28

There's nothing wrong with that. Our final pick is going to be, Oh, I have an idea. No, I'm saying this one. We talked about it.

00:52:27.94 – 00:52:29.94

I like it, Billy's got an idea.

00:52:32.74 – 00:52:33.14

No.

00:52:34.80 – 00:52:39.90

You said two, I'm saying two, no. The office love triangle of Jim, Pam and Roy.

00:52:42.02 – 00:52:42.46

Okay.

00:52:45.20 – 00:52:57.12

I hated that and that's Mount Rushmore. Thanks guys. I don't think the love triangle made me laugh once. No, it's probably the cringiest part of the whole show.

00:52:58.00 – 00:53:03.82

Well, it's a love triangle, it's a triangle. Jim, not that great of a guy, Pam, not that great of a girl. Can we get that extra pick?

00:53:03.82 – 00:53:11.58

Roy just wanted to fucking ride jet skis. Yeah, bro, all right, so it's our last pick. Yeah, because I think we go with.

00:53:11.58 – 00:53:23.06

We have number one still there. Yeah, I was going to say, number one or number 11, let's go one, okay?

00:53:23.12 – 00:53:26.96

Triangle offense, triangle offense, triangle offense, one titles, one title.

00:53:27.14 – 00:53:30.56

So many chips. Scotty, Scotty, Triangle, triangle.

00:53:30.76 – 00:53:40.96

It's a good pick. yeah, it's a good pick in the fourth round, too. Yeah, we were thinking about maybe taking it first. We're like, that was a good Mount Rushmore, I think it was a pretty even one.

00:53:40.96 – 00:53:47.58

We didn't even do any of the actual angles, like we didn't do an isosceles. Scalene, Scalene rocks. Well, how about this fuck, marry, kill?

00:53:48.32 – 00:53:55.14

Isosceles scalene equilateral triangle I would kill equilateral the most horrible. No, I think you're right, yeah.

00:53:55.28 – 00:54:04.88

I would kill Equilateral, I would fuck Scalene, and I would marry isosceles. Yeah, because isosceles, like, it's got some shit to her, isosceles commentary.

00:54:05.12 – 00:54:11.18

Kind of fun, yeah, but the Scalene you want to fuck one time, never be around it. No, the Scalene tries to peg you.

00:54:11.40 – 00:54:21.62

No, the Scalene Triangle is the cracked iPhone of the Triangle kingdom. Or do you fun to hang out with for one night? Or do you marry equilateral? Yeah, I think you marry equilateral? No, but that would get boring.

00:54:21.62 – 00:54:30.10

After a while, I feel like the Scalene is actually like a Coors light blue mountain. Yeah, the Scalene is safe, but also fun. Yeah, kind of looks like it.

00:54:30.34 – 00:54:36.28

Yeah, minus the another one we missed. The Eiffel Tower is just all triangles. It's pretty cool. Yeah, that's how they built it.

00:54:36.32 – 00:54:42.08

The Eiffel Tower in Vegas. Okay, yeah, all right. The Citgo sign at Fenway Park.

00:54:42.30 – 00:54:46.12

Oh yeah, yeah, Hank Bass pro shops. Oh the Bass pro shop pyramid fuck.

00:54:46.64 – 00:54:51.60

Oh, fuck, blew that one. Wow, damn it, hank, you blew it.

00:54:51.60 – 00:55:01.46

Worse, though, because you picked the pyramids and not the Bass Pro shop. Yeah, I picked one of the seven wonders of the world. I think it's eight of the world. Did they add one? Well, yeah, the Bass Pro shop.

00:55:01.92 – 00:55:09.58

The Library of Alexandria or whatever is shut down. Dude. We lost a lot, shut down, burned to the ground. It's not one of the two. We lost a lot.

00:55:09.84 – 00:55:14.82

The Library of Alexandria. Yeah, slice of watermelon, yeah, yeah.

00:55:15.14 – 00:55:20.18

Summertime, summertime. Yeah, nothing better, just the food pyramid. No, the food pyramid sucks.

00:55:20.54 – 00:55:26.54

Food pyramid makes you feel bad. There was John Wooden's Pyramid of success. Yeah, oh yeah, oh fuck.

00:55:26.54 – 00:55:32.94

That's a good one. The pyramid schemes, Yep, damn the food pyramid was such bullshit.

00:55:33.12 – 00:55:40.44

They were like, Yeah, you should just eat grains all the time. It's all bread and rice, but no room for candy. I'm so mad we didn't do pyramid schemes, pyramid schemes, rock.

00:55:40.98 – 00:55:51.08

They're pretty easy to do if you're at the top. Yeah, right, they kind of rule. I've always said I'd be down to get into a pyramid scheme and try to get some more people into it.

00:55:51.08 – 00:55:58.56

And then Bank we had a rack of billiards, balls, okay, the flying wedge, the bayon.

00:55:58.64 – 00:56:03.88

Flying V, Flying V and Mighty Ducks are just regular ducks, but there's only two sides to them. Yeah, I guess so.

00:56:03.98 – 00:56:09.68

Yeah, there's no third side. Paper football. Paper football is a good one paper football rules.

00:56:10.50 – 00:56:19.50

Shark tooth. Yeah, shark tooth. Second best part of a shark. When we were having that debate about shark fins and killing people, I said, Hey, shark tooth.

00:56:19.56 – 00:56:37.62

And then he goes, That's a terrible pick, because that's the thing that actually kills people is the shark tooth, which is also a triangle. Yeah, but the fin is so badass, that's true. The fin is more iconic, but that was more of a fighting pick of you saying that the fin is what kills people, yeah.

00:56:37.82 – 00:56:47.12

I don't like it in contention, so that's why I didn't pick it. In Chicago, there's the Viagra triangle. Yeah, what does that say? It's just this little stretch where just old dudes just creep on younger ladies.

00:56:47.90 – 00:56:54.50

There's fantastic restaurants. yeah, very good restaurants. I've eaten there like three times. yeah, it's very good restaurants, Italian restaurants.

00:56:55.70 – 00:57:06.56

Italian restaurants. Yeah, fucking memes. No. It's just interesting that Hank eats at the Viagra Triangle. Yeah, he's trying to find an older dude. What are we going to do?

00:57:06.70 – 00:57:08.02

Let him fucking play.

00:57:09.76 – 00:57:17.66

You do. Until recently, Hank's life has just been hanging out with older dudes. Yeah, that's true. you do roll with an older crew, yeah.

00:57:19.32 – 00:57:21.34

So you might have daddy issues.

00:57:23.02 – 00:57:31.00

Yeah, maybe that's why I'm in the VT all the time. Um, all right, any others that we missed, I think we nailed most of them.

00:57:31.04 – 00:57:36.14

Yeah, then we're going to see that list and we're going to fill them. The protractor, oh, the triangle, yeah, that one sucks.

00:57:38.36 – 00:57:48.52

It's an honorable mention, but no one's been wowed by the triangle for an instrument. Oh no, yeah, it's the dude who can't play an instrument, but all he can play is a triangle. What's this that's mean to Nate?

00:57:49.10 – 00:57:53.84

Does he play the triangle? Oh no, he plays Tambourine. Okay, good. What's the signal for soccer VAR? Do they do a triangle?

00:57:54.00 – 00:58:00.30

No, it's a box. They make a television with their hands. Oh, we should do Mount Rushmore Squares. Yeah, yeah.

00:58:00.30 – 00:58:04.96

Oh, there are a lot of good squares out there. squares are lame, what? I don't think they're lame. Jake Marsh.

00:58:06.28 – 00:58:14.12

Yeah, that's probably one of the more common pieces of criticism I get. One one nerd Square. Uh, okay.

00:58:14.34 – 00:58:25.34

Good Mount, Rushmore, everyone way to go. Want to win an EZ-Go golf cart? Now's your chance. Go to barstoolclassic.com slash Ez-Go sweeps to enter to win your very own EZ-Go.

00:58:25.46 – 00:58:39.34

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00:58:41.10 – 00:58:53.72

We now welcome on a very special guest. It is Philadelphia Eagles tight end Dallas Goddard. He is here with us at tight end U. We told you right before you sat down, we got a great story for you and I feel like it'd be a good icebreaker.

00:58:53.82 – 00:58:58.96

Great one, I'm looking forward to hearing it. So you have a friend named Dallas? I do okay.

00:58:59.20 – 00:59:03.40

Yes, okay, so when we were at the Superbowl, I know where this is going, yes.

00:59:03.70 – 00:59:16.42

Max Right here, big Eagles fan, huge Eagles fan. He gets through a friend of a friend, starts texting your friend, Dallas, yup, he thinks he's texting you the day before the Superbowl, yup.

00:59:16.48 – 00:59:17.34

Which would have been sick.

00:59:19.36 – 00:59:27.80

Yeah, he gave me the wrong dollars. But here's the thing your friend Dallas was texting him, being like, What are you up to tonight? The day before the Superbowl?

00:59:28.02 – 00:59:36.26

Turning up, Yeah, he was in Arizona, everything probably lined up, and he thought he was like, I'm going to party with Dallas Goddard the day before the Superbowl.

00:59:36.32 – 00:59:47.90

And so you also know Rory, hand correct? Yup, I know Rory. So he texted me and was like, he was like, Yo, I got a friend, I got a friend who's at the Superbowl.

00:59:47.90 – 01:00:04.26

I was like, he might, I don't even know if he said that, but I he was talking about you. And then I got a text and it was like, Yo, Rory just gave me your number, it's Dallas. And I was like, What? Obviously, obviously, it's got to be you, because he was just he was just talking to me about you.

01:00:04.34 – 01:00:15.00

Like, what are the chances that you have? Another friend also named Dallas that was also friends with the one mutual that I knew. And also in Arizona, in Arizona for the Superbowl, yeah.

01:00:15.18 – 01:00:26.64

So maybe it was you, No? I, uh, I got a sense of me and, uh, Rory actually, uh, sent it to me and being like, Ha ha, I got these guys, you know what? I mean? He was pretty stoked about it. I'm like, cool, good job.

01:00:26.70 – 01:00:30.24

All right, so you're an idiot, Max, but that's okay, we love you for it. Well, then the Shane? Yeah, yeah.

01:00:30.24 – 01:00:38.78

Shane Gillis then got involved and was texting his Max, and it was, Uh, yeah, Shane thought that, well, Shane was pretending to be Max, texting what he thought was you.

01:00:39.14 – 01:00:44.10

Trying to sound cool, a whole deep circle, man, what'd he say? Straight chillin? Yeah, straight chillin'.

01:00:44.10 – 01:00:48.06

Coolin, Coolin, Coolin, What are you doing, Coolin? What's up playa? What's up playa, playa?

01:00:48.44 – 01:01:00.46

Coolin, coolin, I'm coolin, you know? We got the same lingo, though. Yeah, so we thought it'd be good icebreaker, but yeah, so we. There was a moment in time when we were in Arizona. Like all hungover, being like, Max is going to hang out with Dallas Cotter before the Superbowl.

01:01:00.48 – 01:01:03.70

Day before, man, yeah, going out should've been down on the strip, yeah.

01:01:03.76 – 01:01:18.44

Is your friend Dallas also named after a shitty football team? Dude? Yeah, he is, but his parents don't like him. His aunt did. Oh so. His aunt and uncle were such big cowboys fans that they convinced their brother or sister, whatever one it was, to name him.

01:01:18.44 – 01:01:31.66

DALLAS You know, tough, that's crazy. So is your? Was your dad kind of pissed that you got drafted by the Eagles? Um, you know, he probably would definitely would have rather had me go to the Cowboys. But, uh, you know, at that case, you kind of just got to bear your losses.

01:01:31.80 – 01:01:40.10

They won in so many years. At this point, at this point, you might as well jump bandwagons. And, uh, you know, now he came to a good one. So I I got a weird question.

01:01:40.16 – 01:02:01.14

I, I don't think we've, we've. We've done a million interviews and I was thinking about it. You got drafted by the Eagles the year after they won the Superbowl. So like, three, four months, what's it like going into a locker room where everyone has a Superbowl ring? And you're like, the new guy? That's gotta be pretty intimidating, right? I don't know if I'd say intimidating, but it's like, there's like a level of inclusion that they had.

01:02:01.14 – 01:02:15.66

That it's like, Man, we're an OTA, is like, I'm new. It's everybody on the team. Last year's team flies in and they go to the ring ceremony. But you're just kind of left out of it, you know, like, Damn, you didn't win a ring. And it's like, Uh, you're doing stuff and they're talking. We got to do what we did last year.

01:02:15.66 – 01:02:25.50

I'm like, last year I was in calls, I don't know what that is, you know what I mean? Uh, so, it's just like they had their own thing going. And you know, after a couple of years, uh, so many people come and go that, uh, you lose that team.

01:02:25.50 – 01:02:44.58

But the first year, it was just like, you know, it was the people that won the Superbowl and the people that came in and did it. Did you think, at any moment, like they might mix it up and you'd get a ring? Cause I would definitely be thinking that, like, they just put me on a list and I somehow get a ring? Man, uh, I knew I probably wasn't getting that, but I definitely thought we were going to go back and win it the next year and the next year.

01:02:44.72 – 01:02:55.96

And, uh, thought I'd have a lot of them by now, but here we are sitting with. None did, uh, did Chris Long's corner of the locker room? Did it still smell like marijuana? Oh, nonstop. Yeah, they know who to put into that corner.

01:02:56.06 – 01:03:04.52

It's got great filtration up above, so, uh, they definitely put the right people over there so it doesn't stink up the whole building, just that part. But yeah, no, Chris, he's a legend, man.

01:03:04.60 – 01:03:09.68

He's, he's a good dude. Yeah, it's great dude. Do you want to do you want to talk about the Superbowl now, or we can talk about it later?

01:03:09.98 – 01:03:15.92

Yeah, we're good. I think I'm almost over it, you know, like, I'm moved on, it's this next year, you know, they wouldn't let me almost over it.

01:03:15.92 – 01:03:29.62

Doesn't sound like you're over it. How slippery was that turf? How much are we blaming? The sod father? Man? the sod Father did not do good, but he knew he knew what we, what he was doing. You know, all I can say is it was a great game till the end.

01:03:30.20 – 01:03:38.30

Uh, you know, if if the field was better. If we're playing on turf, you know, I take us 10 out of 10, but I have to say that, yeah, yeah, no, the turf sucked, it did.

01:03:38.66 – 01:03:49.80

It was there was a lot of people slipping. You know, you can't make that up, but we played on the same one. Uh, you know, I just I hope we get back and can play on good turf next year. Yeah, yeah, because I mean, your, your guy's season was incredible.

01:03:49.80 – 01:04:10.98

Was there a moment during the season where you're like, this is a special team, like this is different? Cause I, you know, the start. I think there's a lot of people, even in the media, who were like, they're not that good, they haven't played anybody. Was there a moment where you're like, No, we're really, really fucking good? Yeah, it was. It was probably, uh, the second week of the year when we played Minnesota, um, and just kind of handled them.

01:04:11.10 – 01:04:43.08

Our defense played lights out, our offense played well and then we just kept rolling from there. Um, you know, really, when we got A.J. Brown in the off season, um, I kind of thought it was going to be special. Then just adding another stud wide receiver to, uh, Smitty and Jalen, just to have another person. Um, so really, I just. I had high expectations all year, but that that week two game on Monday night or Sunday night, whatever it was. Uh, I just felt like, if we just stay healthy, uh, we can go a long ways. It just occurred to me that playing in Philadelphia, you probably get a lot of Dallas sucks chance, but they're not about you.

01:04:43.24 – 01:04:57.42

Sometimes I don't know, you know, they're like, it could be coming in like we're not even playing Dallas and they'll throw them out there, you know? So, uh, we do definitely got a lot of hatred and people in Philly, uh, do love the name that it is, Dallas, and they definitely, uh, make jokes.

01:04:57.42 – 01:05:09.04

I think I have to do. A Twitter fan says about Dallas every year when we come to the Dallas Games and how much they talk about, how they suck. But it's a cool thing to have. Yeah, you brought up A.J. Brown. Have you talked to him about the moon landing?

01:05:11.40 – 01:05:19.94

Um, he doesn't believe it, he doesn't believe it. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's a pretty, uh, common consensus lately. Um, what do you think about the moon landing?

01:05:21.06 – 01:05:38.18

So I don't think the live version that, like people saw on TV, was them on the moon. I think that was like, created on Earth, but I think maybe we went to the moon before that. But like, you know, they didn't have Bluetooth and stuff, so I don't know. Satellite seems a little scarce, I don't know.

01:05:38.40 – 01:05:44.52

I'm researching a little bit, but they might've went, You know, is there a moon? Yeah, yeah, I don't know, that's a good question.

01:05:44.54 – 01:05:50.30

Just asking questions, Yeah, I got it. Yeah, um, you ride a unicycle? I do.

01:05:50.56 – 01:06:13.88

Um, I actually just bought another one for my house in Philadelphia. Had to buy an air tank to fill up and been riding down the driveway to get my mail every day. Um, but yeah, my whole family does it. So we got, uh, I probably got five aunts that ride it. My grandpa used to ride it, and then a bunch of cousins. My grandpa gave us all $50 if we learned to ride it.

01:06:14.10 – 01:06:24.16

So everybody was learning that pretty early. Are you guys like jugglers, too, or are you guys like, that's a that's a weird family trait? No, uh, yeah, I don't know how they got into it.

01:06:24.16 – 01:06:42.16

I think somewhere where they were from, they were trying to have, like the Genus World Record Book or whatever it is. Of people riding the unicycle and they wanted to be a part of that, so I just got roped into it from there. So are you good at riding a unicycle? Oh, I'd say I'm pretty good. I used to ride in like parades and small towns in South Dakota.

01:06:42.30 – 01:06:51.14

I can ride like a six foot tall one. I sound like, you know that, like little panda. Yeah, I can't flip bowls, but like, if I practice, I think I could do it, yeah.

01:06:51.14 – 01:07:00.78

You might be the coolest guy to ride a unicycle, cause like you, I would like most guys cooler. If you can ride a unicycle, you're the coolest person to ever do it, yeah.

01:07:00.86 – 01:07:09.80

Right, cause no one's going to fuck with you, cause you're an N.F.L. tight end. But they ride a unicycle, right, like I see a guy on a unicycle.

01:07:09.84 – 01:07:13.40

I'm like, What's this guy's problem? Yeah, not for you. A lot of things. Yeah, right.

01:07:13.58 – 01:07:18.04

It puts my stress away, you know, I'm just balancing here on life. You know how many unicycles do you have?

01:07:19.90 – 01:07:33.78

So I have one that's actually mine, my mom probably has, she's got three, six footers. Well, these all came from my grandpa when he passed away, so they're all in our family now, but we probably got 20, 30 of them. Jesus Christ.

01:07:33.78 – 01:07:40.16

Big wheels, little wheels. do you do tricks or anything? or you just ride it? I can do like a little bunny hop. I've been working on going backwards.

01:07:40.34 – 01:07:41.14

That's a lot tougher.

01:07:43.02 – 01:07:53.04

You know, spinning circles and ride them, I think that is the trick. Like the unicycle is the trick, is there a clause in your contract about, like, Hey, maybe tone it down on the unicycling? No dude.

01:07:53.04 – 01:08:01.30

I think they're pretty safe. It's like, you know, it's like a bike, you know? Well, no, a bike has two wheels, it's half a bike. Yeah, it's half a bike.

01:08:01.60 – 01:08:10.24

No, they're pretty safe, only a few, like hits by definition, not a bike. Yeah, you're right by unicycle, correct?

01:08:10.52 – 01:08:25.24

All right, so as far as the Dakotas go, why do you guys need two of them? Well, because there's like a better Dakota and a less good Dakota. So North Dakota is kind of like, where people go that aren't cool, and like, South Dakota is the cool Dakota.

01:08:26.36 – 01:08:39.10

Really, it's just like Canada didn't want them, so like, we'll just give them. North Dakota, Yeah, but there's a lot of unicyclers in South Dakota. It's actually started it, actually, my grandpa and my family's from North Dakota.

01:08:39.42 – 01:08:54.90

So I'm a first generation. South Dakota. Okay, I was cool enough to move. Yeah, it's like the Oregon Trail, except you guys are just on unicycles pedaling south, you still got the dirt roads. What was it like going to a smaller college like, especially now that you're in the NFL?

01:08:55.06 – 01:09:04.58

Do they ask you questions all the time? Because all these guys Ohio State, Alabama, all these big schools, you went to, South Dakota, yeah, it was unreal.

01:09:07.34 – 01:09:24.96

Once I got into my junior and my senior year, it was like the easiest football I ever played. I know we played Indiana State once. And their nickel was 5'6, 123 pounds. First play of the game, I run a hitch, he catches, tackles me and I fall down on him. They bring the stretcher out.

01:09:25.02 – 01:09:34.04

He goes off in the ambulance. I see some people after the game, I'm like, Hey man, like, thinking about your guy? like, prayers, let him know. I'm thinking about him, and he's like, Oh yeah, he's right over there.

01:09:34.06 – 01:09:45.92

He was in street clothes. He's like, he just didn't want to play anymore. You're too big. So, you know, I played a lot of competition that definitely wasn't as good as the NFL. You know, most of the safeties were probably like, five, two guys.

01:09:46.16 – 01:09:55.66

So, like, running down the seam was really easy. It was a lot of fun, though, you know, it was kind of like I was just playing football in high school. Still, it all worked out.

01:09:55.96 – 01:10:08.26

Was that like a learning curve, getting to the N.FL and you're like, Oh, wow, these guys are. Some of them are just as strong as I am. Yeah, it was definitely a learning curve. Really. The blocking aspect wasn't that bad. I'm just kind of a strong farm kid.

01:10:09.18 – 01:10:26.68

But like when it came to running routes, like I said, I was going against safeties that were way slower than me. Couldn't move. So it took me a little bit of time to develop. Like the art of route running in the N.FL, where safeties are faster than you, linebackers are faster than you, so it took a little bit of time to get that aspect of the game.

01:10:26.84 – 01:10:42.94

But once that came, it all kind of slowed down. Did you get recruited anywhere else besides South Dakota? No, well, I had a bunch of like D2 offers, some basketball, some football, but I walked on to South Dakota State. It was like the biggest place I could have played.

01:10:43.16 – 01:11:01.42

So I decided to give it a try. And at what point during your college career did you know that you could? You're like, people are like, Hey, you're an N.FL guy, you know? For me, it was in high school, like coaches recruited me, they were D2 coaches saying I could go to the NFL. They were probably filling me full of smoke, saying that, you know, their program would get me there.

01:11:02.30 – 01:11:27.32

But it was probably, you know, early on in my first year there that I, you know, I was googling Brent Selig's name, checking his 40 time, doing that kind of stuff. And I felt like I correlated. And we had a good tight end at the time, Cam Jones, who he hurt his back his senior year. But he was going to be, you know, go to many camps and have a shot to go on the team. And from the time I got there, I thought I was just as good and could be better than him.

01:11:27.48 – 01:11:59.20

So early on I thought I had a good shot. It was just hoping the coaches would give me an opportunity to show what I thought I could do. Yeah, we were talking to Tulane Johnson right before the Super Bowl about Nick Sirianni and what type of coach he is. Because we only see what's in front of the camera, what's presented to us, and he sometimes comes across a little bit corny on the outside. What is the like team perception of Nick in terms of, like, you know, his motivational stuff, you know? Planting seeds, planting flowers, that like, showing up, wearing rocky t-shirts, trying to, like, embrace himself to the city of Philadelphia.

01:11:59.20 – 01:12:08.56

What's the view on Nick from inside the locker room? Yeah, initially when he got there, it was right when Ted Lasso dropped and I was watching that and I thought they went together great.

01:12:08.74 – 01:12:21.16

You know, it's all about connecting, you know, love your teammate, it's all about whatever, you know. He's a little bit corny, he tells us his stuff, but, you know, like, when he, we were two and five. And he's like, the roots are going underneath.

01:12:21.24 – 01:12:40.36

Eventually, you see a flower. And after he had that statement, I think we went on like a six and 0 run or something like that. So he's a little bit corny. His stories, you know, you might have heard him before, but he does a good job explaining him. You know, it keeps us talking about him, you know? Afterwards, you know, we all go to each other and we'll talk to Lane.

01:12:40.70 – 01:13:04.66

That story was dumber than heck. But it's like, next time, five meetings later, he'll show us a picture of, you know, whatever it is, a loofah or something like, Oh yeah, details, you know what's up? But no, no. He's a great coach, he does a good job of, you know, keeping everything exciting and keeping us close, and, you know, connecting, competing. You know, all the things that he says we really embody in our locker room.

01:13:04.70 – 01:13:13.40

And I feel like that's why we've had the success. So this year, you guys are so great in the play that. Did they, did they get rid of the spear play, or they made it?

01:13:13.40 – 01:13:18.26

So now you can do it, you can still do it. I think Jerry Jones tried to, yeah, he tried, yeah, the quarterback's knee.

01:13:18.28 – 01:13:36.12

Yeah, the quarterback's knee. So when you would line up for that, could you tell on the other side of the ball, like those guys, that they knew they had no shot? No, it was like 100 percent success. Yeah, I think we didn't get it once on third down and went for it and got on fourth down. But I mean, as you guys have probably heard on TV, Jalen squashed like 600 pounds.

01:13:36.30 – 01:13:49.58

Yeah, so yeah, every time he's going to get it and then it doesn't help that. You know, now we can push the Reggie Bush that he got in trouble for, you know, just legal. So you get Jalen plus two or three other guys behind him, it's tough not to get it.

01:13:49.70 – 01:14:03.74

Yeah, would anyone? Would any of the defensive linemen or linebackers be like this? Bullshit? Like saying, like, Oh, all the time call us like pussies and like yourself, like, run a real play. I'm like, I mean, it is like, you know what I mean, like, don't get us to third and one, don't get us to fourth and one.

01:14:03.98 – 01:14:17.24

You could, honestly, you could run that play every down, I think we could go up and down the field. Yeah, I think Jalen would break more than you would think and probably drop a safety and take it. No, but I think you get like three and a half yards every time.

01:14:17.24 – 01:14:21.44

He did it minimal. If the other team even knew it was coming, you could, just they could line up, drive, yeah.

01:14:21.52 – 01:14:34.70

I think we could, I think we could get close. That's so funny that they would say that too, because you, you know that they watched it in practice that week and they still can't stop it. Yeah, I don't know how you do stop it, you know, our old line interior like.

01:14:34.70 – 01:14:49.04

The worst part about it is they work on it, you know what I mean? They work on Kelsey going low, the other one's going a little bit higher than Kelsey, if Kelsey can take out one guy's legs. You know, we got two or three yards, and I mean, unless someone goes Troy Palomaro and jumps over the top.

01:14:49.16 – 01:14:54.54

But even still, then you have Jalen Hurts, who, like you said, squats 600 pounds and keep pushing forward. Yeah, right, for sure, yeah.

01:14:54.54 – 01:15:02.88

I don't know. I'm glad they didn't take it out, you know, it was definitely a beneficial for us. I think they should just move it back. You know, you can't do it inside the five yard line.

01:15:02.96 – 01:15:12.48

You know, we need to get some passing touchdowns. I think Jalen had like, 15, uh, one yard quarterback sneaks would have looked good in my stats. Yeah, could have helped, I could have helped on my fantasy owners, you know?

01:15:12.58 – 01:15:17.00

Yeah, I don't get any points for pushing them in, that's sad, yeah. So do you have a message for your fantasy owners?

01:15:17.06 – 01:15:31.86

Because I feel like you're right on that cusp where everyone has Dallas on his team, on their team. And then there's some times where, you know, weeks where it might not, might not help. Do you have any message for them, man? That's tough because you do have big, big weeks.

01:15:31.86 – 01:15:50.28

I play fantasy and I pick myself and every week I plan on having a big week. But, uh, you know, the worst part is this year we led in so many games that we'd be in the second half of games. If you didn't have your catches in the first half, we only ran the ball in the second half. Um, so, you know, it's tough, you know, it's not really always on me, my fantasy owners.

01:15:50.58 – 01:16:03.60

Uh, it's, it's really on the team, you know? We just we need to not be winning by so much because so we can throw one. Uh, catch up and, uh, air raid offense, not run the ball. Yeah, have your defense, give up more touchdowns in the first half, yeah, that's the key.

01:16:03.62 – 01:16:11.46

Maybe don't draft the Eagles defense because they killed it this year. Yeah, maybe try to get a maybe let. Uh, well, I want them to be good, too. It's hard you actually did.

01:16:11.46 – 01:16:15.96

Your stats are pretty consistent. It's just the touchdowns, the touchdowns. I pushed Jalen in too much, right?

01:16:16.10 – 01:16:27.84

You know, so this next year, though, we we've been talking. And uh, he doesn't want rushing touchdowns, he's good, he broke the quarterback rush, touchdown per year, whatever. Um, so now he's now, he's ready to start throwing them.

01:16:28.08 – 01:16:35.38

Well, you should get credit if you. If you physically carry him into the end zone, that's what I'm saying. If I'm pushing like three, three, you know, he doesn't need those six.

2Speaker 2
01:16:35.48 – 01:16:35.84

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
01:16:36.02 – 01:16:46.30

He doesn't need all six, he gets plenty. Do you feel a little bit out of place in the locker room not having gone to the University of Georgia? Man? Uh, more and more that in Alabama, we got a lot of them, folks.

01:16:46.68 – 01:17:03.16

Uh, you know, they call us the eagle dogs now. Um, so definitely a little bit, but I've tried to fit in with those guys and, uh, they're a fun group. So, you know, I claim, like, Georgia is my school that I would have went to if I could have, if they recruited, if I could have went. If Georgia had offered you, would you have said yes? Oh, absolutely.

01:17:03.24 – 01:17:05.28

If anybody offered me, I probably would have said yes.

01:17:08.98 – 01:17:15.10

When did you get a full ride? Uh, I got like a half scholarship at the end of my.

01:17:17.00 – 01:17:26.04

Sophomore year, so a year and a half, I was on scholarship. Do you still have student loans? Uh, dude, I was lucky enough that, you know, Mr. Lurie paid me enough that I was able to pay those.

01:17:26.06 – 01:17:33.50

You make enough money to pay that off. That's gotta be sick. It was, it was, it was a nice thing to write a check. It was kind of upsetting that it was that big, though, yeah.

01:17:33.50 – 01:17:59.28

Did they do like a ceremony for you? When you were? When the coach was like, Okay, you're coming on full time, or was it? Uh, no, it was pretty low key. I think it was to the point, uh, like at this point I was already, uh, two time first team all conference, uh. So I think it was like, we should just put this guy. We're not going to make a big deal out of it. Because everybody probably assumes he's already on scholarship and they'll kind of look like the weirdos that didn't want to put me on scholarship.

01:17:59.70 – 01:18:28.96

Yes, how good at basketball were you? Um, I mean, in South Dakota, I did score a thousand points in high school, but that is also. I mean, I wasn't playing the best competition weekend and week out. And you know, in South Dakota, I was the tallest, the biggest, the most athletic, so I had that advantage. But, you know, just like pretty much any other competitive N.FL player that has any skills with, you know, hard work and dedication to basketball, I probably could have been in that.

01:18:28.98 – 01:18:34.26

Yeah, did you ever get to hang out with Mike Dom? Mike Dom? He's my dude, dude. Mike Dom was the best.

01:18:34.50 – 01:18:43.14

He's a dog. Yeah, he was. I mean, you guys went to the tournament a couple of times. I think he took them all four years. He just signed another contract in whatever country he's playing in now.

01:18:43.44 – 01:18:52.96

So shout out Mike Dom. We live, we live right next to him. Uh, he was. he was awesome man. Yeah, he was the man he ran, he ran South Dakota State, for sure.

01:18:53.00 – 01:19:09.02

I believe it. Were you actually, did you actually work on a farm? Oh yeah, um, that was some of my first jobs growing up. Uh, you know, I did bales, um, fed cows, uh. Drove four wheels around and moved them from pasture to pasture, all that kind of stuff.

01:19:09.14 – 01:19:17.46

Oh yeah, your country. Did anybody ever call you big country, dude? No, I think I think it's cause, like, we're from like a little country, you know, like big country has got to be like Texas or something.

01:19:17.50 – 01:19:24.68

Like, everything's big, like South Dakota is just like little country, it does get forgotten a lot. It's the Bougie Dakota, right, yeah.

01:19:24.68 – 01:19:31.54

The Bougie Dakota Yeah, bougie, bougie country. Has anyone from South Dakota ever won a Superbowl um Adam Vinatieri?

01:19:31.68 – 01:19:40.36

Okay, and, uh, Jim Langer, Okay, back with the dolphins in the day. Um, other than that, probably not too many.

01:19:40.50 – 01:19:53.90

NATE Gary Okay, legend, what do you think about Mount Rushmore? Um, my South Dakota. To get tourists there, everybody should go see it at least once, but like, three minutes in, you've seen it all.

01:19:53.90 – 01:20:04.22

You've seen it all usually like you walk up to it and before you get to the viewing station, you're like, Well, you guys, good. Should we head back and go see the rest of the state? In five minutes, you go up there.

01:20:04.24 – 01:20:11.02

You're like, Wait, is there another one? is there? Like, somewhere else? I should look like, the only thing is like, you've seen National treasure and like the big pond in the back.

01:20:11.18 – 01:20:18.68

Like, I wish that was there to, like, make it a little bit cooler, but I don't think it is. You should. Actually, you should bury some of your treasure.

01:20:18.88 – 01:20:27.52

Dude, now we're talking, yeah, people have flocked to South Dakota, make a little like a map, give it to someone in like, 50 years.

01:20:27.68 – 01:20:37.52

Like, I probably forgot about it at that time. Did you have to go like every year for school trips, not for school trips? But I've probably been like, seven times we actually went as a football team.

01:20:37.68 – 01:20:53.96

We went out to Rapid City to have a few practices for our fans out there. Nobody came. It was miserable that day, but we got to stay in like an Army barracks and got to see Mount Rushmore, so nobody was that excited. Seven times is too many.

01:20:54.16 – 01:21:08.08

You know, it was cool when I was like six years old, and my grandpa and grandma took us on an RV trip out there and that was fire. You know, the perfect age to do it, but the older you get, the less cool it gets. Pretty much South Dakota. Do you have a football coach that, like, tried to teach you a life lesson from Mount Rushmore?

01:21:09.42 – 01:21:14.74

Gosh, I don't know if we did have a lesson with it, I don't know if there is a lesson to it.

01:21:17.24 – 01:21:21.96

I couldn't tell you all the presidents on it. Yeah, I could name three, for sure. okay, name three.

01:21:22.72 – 01:21:28.90

George Washington, Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. Just because you said it, there's another one, there's another one on there, and Franklin.

01:21:30.04 – 01:21:34.18

Alexander Hamilton Maybe he's on a hundred dollar bill, he's not even a president, yeah.

01:21:34.62 – 01:21:35.50

You got it smart.

01:21:37.60 – 01:21:42.40

ThoMAS JeFfERSon It is, it might be Thomas Jefferson. TJ's up there, overrated, though.

01:21:43.04 – 01:22:02.90

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Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times Barstool Golf Time app now. So we are at tight end. U What are you hoping to learn?

01:22:31.78 – 01:22:58.44

Man, I'm really, I'm just coming here to, you know, meet these guys. And then I'm just going to pick their brains. You know everything, Travis says. You know, for myself, I want to get one of those thousand yard seasons, so I'm just going to pick his brain. See what he sees, ask him about it, and, you know, see how I can take that next step. Well, we actually saw his presentation and it was just a slideshow saying, Have Patrick Mahomes be your quarterback.

01:22:59.64 – 01:23:08.28

So, yeah, I mean, I can't go over there, you know? Jalen Hurts does a good job. So I'm just going to tell him to throw it to me a little bit more. That's probably it. I need to be his best friend.

01:23:08.40 – 01:23:17.06

Yeah, do you think Jalen hurts? is like, doesn't get enough respect for being? Because people will do top five quarterback lists, I don't know how he's not in the top five right now, yeah.

01:23:17.90 – 01:23:40.62

You know, a lot of those lists are just people are trying to get likes or whatever. Be careful. No, what I'm saying, what I'm saying. I think Jalen has to be at the top, you know? And if you don't, you're just trying to use his name. That's what I'm saying, you know, like, I'm not, I'm not the making of the list.

01:23:40.86 – 01:23:50.22

I'm from Philadelphia. He's number one, right, right. The making of the list is a really honest profession and that you respect, you know, like you can say, he's got good talent around him.

01:23:52.04 – 01:24:07.02

No, he's, he's, he's a dog, He's really good, I think he should be top three, top two. You know, it's hard to take anything away from Patrick. And you go down that list. And you know, there's probably 10 quarterbacks that could be in the top five, depends on what fan base you are.

01:24:07.14 – 01:24:15.38

But personally speaking, Jalen's in the top two and he's not two. Yeah, depending on what fan base we want to antagonize and that's the person that we would leave off, for sure.

01:24:15.42 – 01:24:18.28

Yeah, yeah, for sure. okay, no hard feelings. Yeah, it's okay.

01:24:18.72 – 01:24:27.86

Last thing for the Eagles fans watching, Can you just give us a Dallas sucks? Yeah, you know, uh, to all the Eagles fans, go birds and Dallas sucks.

01:24:27.94 – 01:24:42.78

There we go. Would you say that, uh, that, that losing to Washington and on Monday night football, that really spurned you guys to be great this year? Hmm, that was actually, uh, dude, my last play in that game. I fumbled and broke my shoulder.

01:24:43.08 – 01:24:49.32

Oh yeah, so it was like a hard fire. That's a fond memory. Not a face mask, not a face mask.

01:24:49.40 – 01:24:57.14

They didn't call it, so it doesn't really count. You know, nobody if a tree falls and nobody hears it, doesn't make a sound, can't be a face mask if it wasn't called.

01:24:57.24 – 01:25:00.04

Yeah, yeah, for sure, sorry, but that game rocked.

01:25:00.16 – 01:25:12.58

No, dude, it was good, you know, it was sick to like, you know, we were eight and oh, maybe nine and oh at the time. Until I can be the one that lost the game and then sit out the next five weeks, all right, so last, last, last question.

01:25:12.94 – 01:25:30.16

Um, before the Superbowl, uh, if. would you or any of your teammates ever drink champagne before the Superbowl, like the night before? Oh, for sure, some people would, but no, no, like no one who's actually playing on the team like you guys have a job to do.

01:25:30.28 – 01:25:33.72

Like, as in celebrating, yeah, as in celebrating, no, no.

01:25:33.72 – 01:25:42.00

And anyone who did celebrate before the Superbowl, like they shouldn't be allowed to be Eagles fans, that's not true. Oh, the fans, the fans, yeah.

01:25:42.14 – 01:25:47.28

Like, if you drink champagne, if I was a fan, uh, champagne is a little weird before. yeah, like, drink beers before.

01:25:47.28 – 01:25:55.24

And like, get ready for the game, yeah, but champagne before the Superbowl, you know, those those fans are probably why we didn't win. Yeah, exactly.

01:25:55.92 – 01:26:05.60

I hope there's no one in here. No, like, if you went out and you drank champagne and then you threw up. We were planning on having two days. Yeah, and then you lost your phone the night before the Superbowl.

01:26:05.70 – 01:26:11.94

That'd be bad. I was just I was. I just had pregame jitters, I had pregame jitters. We were at a party, they were bringing champagne around.

01:26:12.68 – 01:26:18.86

I was like, Sure, I'll dabble, I'll dabble in a little bit of the bubbly, it's fine. And then a lot of pictures were taken.

01:26:18.98 – 01:26:26.60

It turned into a whole thing. I got a little bit, a little bit more intoxicated, overserved, some may say, later in the night. And bad guy.

01:26:26.76 – 01:26:30.26

Bad guy, bad guy, bad guy. Yeah, so he's the one to blame.

01:26:30.44 – 01:26:34.98

So him and the sod father, yeah, the sod father, sod father, give it to him.

01:26:35.56 – 01:26:37.54

It was so bad he had to retire, yeah.

01:26:39.96 – 01:26:43.88

All right, thank you so much Dallas. Appreciate it man. Yes, thank you guys.

01:26:46.18 – 01:27:15.96

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01:27:30.74 – 01:27:35.08

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01:27:35.38 – 01:27:37.98

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01:27:42.30 – 01:27:42.70

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