#1998 - Ali Siddiq
2023-06-14 03:18:23
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Stream by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!
Hey! What's happening, what's happening? How you doing? I'm doing great.
You are a perfect example of how sometimes the universe throws you a little curveball and it turns out to work out better for you. We were talking about it before, right before the show, and I wanted to congratulate you on the success of your special. Thank you. Because you were in this position where HBO had decided not to air it because you had opinions. And they said, well, we don't agree with your opinions, so you can't have opinions that are different than ours.
You didn't even say anything. I didn't think it was your feelings on things, which I feel like you're allowed to have. And boom. You put it on YouTube, and boom. How many views does it have now?
First one, 8.8 million. Million.
8.8 million. You know what the odds of you getting 8.8 million on HBO are? Zero. It's zero. It's zero.
You don't have anything to get. Unless you're on the fucking Game of Thrones premiere.
I was ready to do math in my head and everything. I was thinking it was like zero. Don't even think about it.
Zero. It's never. I mean, maybe. You've got to go back to Sam Kennison. Maybe his got 8 million.
Maybe.
Wow. Yeah. I mean, not that many people watch those shows, but YouTube is beautiful. I mean, they fuck you on a lot of different things. They'll pull you for discussing legitimate medical studies.
This guy got pulled. Did you see that thing? I tweeted it. He got pulled off of YouTube. They killed his whole channel for reading Lancet studies on psychiatric drugs.
Bro, it's crazy.
It's crazy. They did a study on him.
Well, it was on children and psych medications. It was on children and I believe it was SSRIs, which is antidepressants.
Are they prescribing those to children now?
They've been prescribing them for children. They've been doing it for a long time, but they do not like when people discuss the negative side effects on YouTube. I would assume advertising pressure. That's the only thing that makes sense to me.
You can discuss getting the belt or getting whipped, but you can't discuss the negative side effects of a drug.
Isn't that wild? Yeah, you could openly discuss being abused as a child, being beaten. Yeah, so this gentleman, what's his name? Roger McFillin, Dr. Roger McFillin.
He was – so this is what he said. Our YouTube channel was terminated in less than 24 hours. No warnings, explanations, or strikes, after we posted a video highlighting published science, black box warnings, and known adverse reactions of antidepressants for youth. Why do you think this was censored? And then what's weird is that YouTube responded underneath it.
They responded, hey, here to help. Let me know your YouTube channel URL. We'll see what we can find. Here's how to find it. They killed his whole channel.
He said, you terminated my – saying you, it's probably a person, right? It's probably not that person. It says, you terminated my YouTube channel for posting published scientific literature. It's for reasons like this that YouTube is losing the public trust. Man, it's that dance of advertising.
That's the dance, the dance of advertising and government control. It's kind of spooky. It's kind of spooky shit.
Well, I've been living in a neighborhood that's been government controlled for a long time.
That's really spooky to us. We're like, oh, regular government nonsense.
Not good.
Yeah, like we – this is the reason why we don't trust anything. Like brown people, black people, we just don't, ah. Like as soon as you say it, like as soon as you – not trusting it.
Well, it's for good reason. It's not like everything's going great and nobody trusts the government.
Yeah, but a lot of people are pro-government, like government everything.
Well, I think they just sold a narrative. I think they sold a narrative and they think anti-government is bad. so they're pro-government. I've had some maddening discussions with intelligent people that I respect, where they're saying the government should regulate the internet. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
The same people that are engaging in insider trading, they should regulate the internet? Are you out of your fucking mind?
You know how crazy that is?
Who said that?
That guy used to be the publisher of Rolling Stone magazine, man, in the 60s and the 70s. when Rolling Stone was the counterculture. He was telling me that they should regulate the internet. We had the most maddening conversation, and I respect him so much and I love him so much for what he did in the past.
I think that was connected to the internet, kind of destroying magazine sales.
It could be, but it's also... I think it's an ideology, man. I think it's an ideology. I think these people have in their head that good government with good people is good. The problem is bad government and bad people.
It was the fucking last time where you were 100% satisfied with all the things the government was doing. They were doing everything they said they were going to do. Even if the president wants things done when they're running for office, those things never happen once they get in office.
That's a very white question. Yeah.
There's no way you're asking me that. Were we ever satisfied? Never.
Never. Well, maybe Kennedy. Kennedy gave people hope. It seemed like he was giving people hope. That was before my time.
That was before your time. He was killed four years before I was born.
Did you like Carter?
Well, the thing about Carter is, if you listen to Carter talk... This goes back to Rolling Stone magazine because Hunter S. Thompson went to Jimmy Carter's campaign speech. It was so moving to him that he actually went out to his car and got his tape recorder and brought it back in. And started listening and recording it.
I don't think any president has the ability... I mean, there's a reason why the government is set up. the way it's set up. It's set up so the president can never become a tyrant. So the president can't make his own laws.
This is how the government is divided. This is the concept behind the beginning of the country. The beginning of the country. I think even if you're a good person, you're in a bad job. You're in a bad job with a bad machine.
And that machine wants to make money. And if it's making money by selling people drugs. Or it's making money by going to war. It's making money by fucking finagling the economy in some bizarre way.
Anytime. there's something to gain on the other end, without public knowledge. It's going to be a problem.
Of course. That's the game.
The sleight of hand trick.
That's the game. That's the game they're in. I mean, to pretend they don't do that.
I felt like some things shouldn't be on the internet, though. So I was like, damn, is nobody regulating this shit? Like what? Like a lot of things that people just. I don't know what a lot of people have followers for.
Because they so far to the craziness. It's insane. You're like, what? That's true.
That's true. But what's the alternative? The alternative is like. Here's the best thing about those crazy people. You and I can talk about those crazy people.
Look at these crazy bitches. And then people can listen to us talk about them. And they go, yeah, these people are crazy. I did. I kind of thought the world was flat for a few minutes.
Yeah.
It's the people on the internet. I'm like, hey, man. God damn, what are you talking about? But it's, you know, then there's other people that have some sense. But so.
You got to be able to figure it out yourself. The problem is, most people don't think. Well, and rightly so. Don't think that most people can figure it out by themselves. A large percentage of our population that's easily swayed.
That's why cults work.
Oh, man. You know, and I always wonder, like, when people say they're selling dope, I'm like, for real? Like, it's passe. Like, with a cult? It's like I'll be thinking that it's.
Like, what? When? Why would I join a cult when it's never been proven to be a good thing? Like, show me all the good, successful cults.
It's just like, man, all I got to do is see one bad cult. And I'm like, you know, I don't want to go.
Well, if you want to expand that.
It's crazy.
Religion. Religion is successful. Cults. Because someone's. Listen, if there is.
Let's just imagine. Just for the sake of this conversation. That there is a religious scripture that is 100% translated directly from God. Well, if that's true. If there's one.
That means all the other ones are wrong. And all the other ones are cults.
See, the thing is this. People don't know where things tie in together. Now, you have some side stories. Some people who didn't just create some side things for their own benefit. But it's.
Like the Mormons.
It's like a longevity of, hey, this is all the same line of things. And it, you know, transcends to the next, to the next generation. But then it's these things that. Once the prophecy stopped at some point. And then it's like people can claim themselves to be prophets, with none of the other attachment.
Like all the other prophets got the same thing. Someone spoke to them at night. And they have, they have, they have some power. At that particular time. It's like, these people can just say, hey, I'm a prophet.
Well, who spoke to you? I don't know. There's a voice coming through the wall. Maybe you live in thin apartments. I don't know.
Like, and then they can just, what is your power? Like, who are your, who are the people that you're supposed to have? And it's no power.
All you had to do is be charismatic.
But that's not, that's not the. In prophecy, that's not the, that's not the criteria. It's like, hey, I'm looking for somebody charismatic. Like what God's doing. It's all, that's not the job.
Right, that's not the job.
But in, with this society, it's the job. Like, hey.
But don't you think it's always been like that?
No, I thought, I think they didn't even want to do it. Like, no one didn't want to build no ark. He was doing something else.
See, the thing about Noah and the ark, though, if you go back to that, that story is very similar to a story that's in the epic of Gilgamesh. And most likely what that story is about, the great flood seems to very much be real. Very much be real. And there's a lot of physical evidence. And there's a gentleman named Randall Carlson who's been on my podcast.
Have you ever seen any of those episodes?
No, I haven't.
He's been on my podcast many times. He's an expert in asteroid collisions. And this time in history where after this time, there's all these stories of floods. It aligns directly with this thing called the Younger Dryas and the Younger Dryas Impact Theory. The Younger Dryas is a time period, around 11,800 years ago, where they think the earth got hit by comets.
And they think civilization got basically wiped out. And it makes sense. Because it, first of all, it makes sense physically. So sorry if people have heard this before. I beat this fucking horse to death.
But there's a lot of evidence. when they do core samples on the earth. At that time period, there's a high level of iridium, which is very rare on earth but very common in space. And there's also nanodiamonds, which occur when there's an impact, when something hits. And this is all over the world.
I 100% believe in it. But every time I hear nanodiamonds.
What do you think? What do you think when you hear nanodiamonds?
It's like you're selling jewelry in the middle of the mall.
These aren't diamonds. These are nanodiamonds.
These are nanodiamonds. They're different. But I believe that the earth has been hit by comets. We in space, how can you not? There's evidence.
There's evidence.
There's tons of evidence. There's tons of evidence. They found, was it Greenland or Iceland, that massive impact that they found? The earth's been hit so many times, man. It wasn't just the Yucatan one that killed the dinosaurs.
It's been many, many, many, many, many, many, many times. It's been hit. And in fact, this comet shower that we go through every year, 31 kilometer, 19 mile wide meteorite crater discovered under a kilometer of Greenland ice, had long puzzled scientists. The Hawatha crater was exceptionally well preserved, despite glacier ice being incredibly effective at erosion. That's interesting.
Damn, that's big. 19 miles, is that what it said? Yeah, there's a ton of those, man. They're all over the world. There's a big one that's outside of Australia that they found.
Giant craters where it just, it totally makes sense. It totally makes sense. So this guy, along with this guy named Graham Hancock, who's also been on the podcast many times, he's a good friend of mine, he has a documentary called Ancient Catastrophe. Is that it? It's not apocalypse, right?
Ancient apocalypse. I always fuck those up. Ancient apocalypse. that's on Netflix. It's amazing.
And it's all talking about these insane structures that people built in Africa, in Asia, all over the world, in Turkey. These insane structures that predate modern civilization. These are like 5,000 years before we think Mesopotamia emerged. Huge stone columns. Huge structures that they know for sure were 11,000 years old.
Yeah. The show's amazing. It's an amazing show.
I think I watched it.
It's really good. And it's, you know, he only goes, he only touches the surface, because there's so many of these all over the world. And Egypt is the best example.
The best example.
Egypt is a fantastic example, because there's stuff that's under the sand that's even older than the massive stuff that's above the sand. And the stuff under the sand that they find when they dig deeper, it's a totally different style of building.
This is what the ex-clan used to rap about. Mm.
Yeah. Yeah.
And the four righteous teachers. That whole brand new. And this is the, you know, the pyramids and building of the stones. And Egypt, the whole Egyptian culture, Timbuktu, the whole thing. Yeah.
Been around for a long time.
That's the wild shit. The wild shit is that if it wasn't for those stones, if everybody lived like we live today, in glass houses and shit, there'd be nothing left. There'd be nothing. What would you find in a regular house made out of wood and glass? What the fuck is going to be there in 10,000 years?
Zero. Zero. There'd be nothing left. You'd find nails. Oh, look, I found a nail.
What would you find? You'd find a few things. But most of it would be consumed by the earth.
Yeah, most of it.
But those guys, they figured out. They figured out something that no one. They bullshit that they could figure out how to do that today. They don't know how to do that today.
Well, somebody just came up with the whole, this building with wood. But it was probably so like in Haiti, they build with stone. They still build. with Jamaica. They still build with stone.
The whole house made out of cement. Most places do that. It has, you know. They have hurricanes.
Yeah, they have hurricanes. Their houses have to be sturdy as fuck.
So I don't know what was going on in Egypt at that time, when they was building like that.
I think they were beyond advanced. I think we are. Graham Hancock has this amazing quote. He said that human beings are a species with amnesia.
Oh, yes, for sure. For sure. Oh, for sure.
And I think the way we've gone today technologically, with like phones and microphones and video cameras and shit, like we've gone into an electronic technology. I think they went into another technology that was different, different path, but way more powerful. They were able to move stones out of the mountains and move them 500 miles. They don't have any fucking idea how they did it.
The necessity, you know, we're figuring out things from necessity.
That, but I think thousands of years of thinking. I think, you know, when we think about the Industrial Revolution and we think about the way the world was just 2,000 years ago to now, I think those people were recovering. I think those people 2,000 years ago were recovering from shit that happened thousands of years before that, where people were just knocked back into barbarism, just survival of the fittest, just wild shit, because there was nothing left. We live in a Mad Max apocalypse, even worse. Nuclear winter.
When those things hit into the ground, the massive floods come. It also kicks up dust in the atmosphere. Nothing grows. People are probably cannibalizing each other. It was probably horrific.
You ever read the book The Ice Age and Inheritance? No. This is where it talks about people, how they went into the Ice Age and then they had to start cannibalizing each other because there was nothing growing, and all of these other things. Like, wow. Do you think we survive that now?
I think we might survive. I know a lot of people are going to get eaten. Some people can fucking keep it together and some people can't. It's going to be hard and it's not going to be fun, and life might not be worth living in comparison.
In comparison.
That's the thing. If you lived on the Great Plains in the 1800s and you were a Native American, that was your whole life. That's all you knew. You knew how to hunt buffalo. You knew how to make teepees.
You knew how to live off the land. That's all you knew. If you took some fucking person from the east side of Manhattan, some person that worked some cushy office job, and you said, Jerome, this is your new life. You're going to live on the plains and you're going to make your own arrows and you're going to go fucking run around and try to shoot them in the buffalo. And there's no doctors.
So, is this what Naked and Afraid is about? Are they getting ready for the apocalypse?
No. They're just exploiting dummies. They're just having fun with people's dicks. Blurting them out on TV. It's crazy.
That show's crazy. That show's crazy. It's so dumb.
Naked and Afraid XL, they got like 13 people out. You got to meet up and form a tribe.
Yeah, they could do something like that. People would go evil real quick. If there was competing tribes, people would go evil real quick.
I think it's going to, if it jumps, no. Okay. Well, during Katrina, it was survival of the fittest. Yes. During this flood in Houston, it was survival of the fittest.
Yes.
It's been some times where people have shown their colors.
Yes.
In small pockets. Yeah. Like my friend, he used to brag about having this Maserati. When the flood happened, his Maserati was floating down the street. I was in my truck.
I was like, hey, you want me to come, pick you and your Maserati up? Because you're in a bad position, my boy. In Texas, you need a truck. It was survival. He couldn't move nowhere, so he needed help.
Yeah, when the freeze came out here, I was having the time of my life. I loved it. When it was snow everywhere and ice on the streets. I have a 1995 Toyota Land Cruiser that I had built as an apocalypse vehicle. It's lifted.
It's got off-road tires. It's got steel bumpers. It's got a winch.
Yeah. You was having a good time.
Big-ass gas tank, huge gas tank.
You was having a good time.
I was having a great time, because that car is meant for that. It was like my golden retriever when he sees the snow. When he sees the snow, he's like, whoa. He rolls around on his back. It's like he's having a party.
It's the best thing he's ever seen. That's what it's like. when my truck saw that snow. My truck was like, yee-haw. Everybody else is like in Corvettes.
They're sliding into oncoming traffic.
Yeah, that's what happens when you have one of them little low-built cars or sports cars, and you don't have an off-road vehicle, something that's sturdy that can move things. I have a truck, and my truck is built for that.
If you're only going to have one vehicle in Texas, a truck is the way to go.
Oh, yeah, it really is.
Just in case, just in case. It's the sign of the most pampered society that people have cars that you can't even fit luggage in, and they're just fast. You have a race car, sir. Why are you driving around town in a fucking race car? Where are you going?
Hey, man, nothing like getting out of a truck in a tuxedo. Yeah, right? With boots on. That's what I see. guys, I'm like, man, that's crazy.
But, man, a truck is the way to go.
People don't want to think about things going sideways, but they have all throughout history. All throughout history, there's been natural disasters. There's been wars. There's been crazy shit all throughout history.
So why don't people want to think about that?
Because we like to think about what's in front of us right now. The human mind is set up to take, the human mind is set up essentially for survival, right? And we have the exact same brains as people that lived 10,000 years ago. So the people that lived 10,000 years ago, if they in fact were hunter and gatherers, they probably were hunter and gatherers because the people before them were far more advanced, and they were rebooting society. That's what I think.
But those people, that life that they lived was all about, get some fucking food, find out what the dangers are around you right now in terms of your enemies and predators, and get some fucking food and feed your family and try to stay alive. That's all anybody wanted. They just wanted to stay alive. So we have that in our head. And shit like climate change and UFOs, it's like, what am I going to do with that?
Shit like, what if the power goes off? Yeah, but the power's on now. Shut the fuck up. I got to deal with now. I got to deal with right now.
We're designed for the now.
I don't think like that. I think long term.
Your guys experienced some very difficult moments in your life. That's what it is. You've experienced a lot of adversity.
Yeah, I guess that's the reason. But I'm thinking, I always think in the long term. I always got to, you know, like I'm Jason Bourne. Like I'm on the move. Got my passport and cash.
I'm not, I can't live for the now. I used to be like that. And that was too fast. Way too fast.
Well, that's a young man's game. Young man's game is the. now. You know, talk to a 19-year-old kid. They're not talking about fucking climate change.
Oh, I wish somebody would have told me at 19, hey, listen, climate change. Yeah, maybe my tomatoes would be able to survive. I think, you know, with having a healthy love for the elderly, because I would, you know, prefer to be one one day. You know, I would like to set things up for those people that's doing it now. For when I get there.
I don't want to wait and then get there and be struggling. Well, I'm 65 and I don't understand what's going on. Because comics, most comics, don't have a retirement plan.
Most comics don't even have a monthly plan.
Yeah.
Comics are the wildest fucking people I know.
They're the wildest people I know. They spend all their money.
And it was crazy. That's very true. That is very true.
Very true.
You know, I can't even think of all the comics because I'm a planner. How many comics have come to me? Because they know I'm a planner. And they just went out and did some wild shit. Like, I'm just, hey, man, I'm living in L.A.
now. What? I just saw you Tuesday. Yeah, I know. Like, where you living at?
I don't know. I'm just out here. What the hell are you talking about? And then, a month later, hey, man, I'm calling from somebody else's phone.
He's thinking he can send me $300 so I can get a ticket to come home.
Or how am I going to get it to you? Hey, man, you're going to have to wire it to this and that.
Some comics think that if they go to a spot, things will be different. You know?
My wife and I lived in Colorado once for a little while, and we lived in, like, a log house on the top of a mountain. And my wife had this idea that when she got in that log house, she'd start making bread.
Joe, you wild, man. You just moved to a log house.
Yeah, I did. The only thing that fucked me over was she got pregnant, and when women are pregnant at very high altitude, this is at 8,000, I think 8,800 feet. It's very high. It's real rough on them, real bad. It's like the flu every day.
And we went back to L.A., and when we went back to L.A. for, like, a week or two, she was fine. And then we went back to Colorado, kicked right back in. I was like, oh, no. And then I read that Colorado, specifically Denver, has a very high rate of unusually high rate of premature births.
They attribute to the high altitude. It's rough. It's rough on women. So we had to get out of there. If it was for me, it was just me by myself, I'd still be up there.
I would have never started a podcast. I'd still be up there living in the woods.
Making bread.
I loved it. I loved that Land Cruiser. I'd just be, like, sitting there chilling.
Man, because that's the life that I'm going toward. I love it. Just being somewhere, being able to farm and grow my own vegetables. Yes. Go outside and have my own pigs and goats and things of that nature.
Yeah, that's very satisfying. There's something very satisfying just even about the idea of that. That's very satisfying.
Not having to be somewhere. I think that's the—I'm going to slow down in 2025.. I have a plan. Knock out Domino Effect 3 and 4 and then kind of relax for a while. Because I don't think people know this about comics.
You've probably experienced it. My body is on some type of clock where I have to be somewhere, even when I don't, which is troublesome to me. Like I've gotten up and packed all my things up and didn't realize that I was already where I'm supposed to be. Because my body is like—my mind, basically is you're supposed to be somewhere. So it takes me—if I go on vacation, it has to be for, like, two weeks.
Because the first week, it's crazy. My mind is set on this clock of. you've got a performance, you've got to be somewhere, you've got to just do your edits, and I don't like that feeling.
I got out of that. It took me a long time to get out of that. But I got out of that where I can enjoy a vacation. I can just chill. I got out of that where I can just sit in my backyard.
sometimes. Just sit down. Have a cocktail. Just relax.
That's what I want to do. Just be able to just sit and have nothing to do.
Yeah. Yeah. I think there's real pleasure in that. if you earn that. And you definitely have earned that.
There's real pleasure in that. But people like you and people like me that are constantly on the road and constantly working on this and working on that, it's like you're on this momentum. And it's hard to hit the brakes going downhill. Jesus fucking Christ. Like Flintstone brakes.
You know, it's hard.
Yeah, it is.
It's hard to slow down.
And you've got to get to a place where you feel like—or have a plan to get to a place where, okay, this is it for a while.
Yeah.
And then detox for that month. A month of not doing shows is horrible. It's weird. It's horrible. You get addicted to it, right?
It took me a while to get—it took me about two months to really get into the pandemic. But once I got into it, I didn't want to come out of it. I was like, man, I'm cool, man. I can be with my family every day. I'm growing my vegetables, looking good.
I'm having a good time. I don't have to be anywhere. I can just go to the front and pick up my camera, hey, what's happening, and talk for a minute and then be done. It was beautiful. It was beautiful.
So why'd you go back?
The addiction of being a performer.
Killing. Addicted to having to finish the story. You know, Domino Effect was in my mind, and Domino Effect 2 was in my mind. So I was like, man, I got to get back to working. I think they were tired of me.
They were like, hey, he's been here too long. Maybe I was feeling cool. And they were like, nah, he needs to go work somewhere. He's doing everything. He's painting and building.
I was building something every week. It was great.
Well, that's why it always drives me crazy when people say they get bored. Like, how are you bored?
You get bored.
There's so much to do. You just got to find the thing.
And if it's not – if you don't have anything to do, just go experience something. Yeah.
Go check something out. Get moving. Don't stay home. Don't just stay put.
That's why you're bored. There's nothing coming at you.
Go somewhere.
Stay put. I haven't heard that in a long time.
My grandmother, she would say that because back then you couldn't go into – couldn't take children to liquor stores. And my girl would get out of the car. She'd leave us in the car. Hey, hey, stay put. My girl told me, be right here when she get back or she going to beat our ass.
Like, what? How did that even come into the conversation?
We was right there when she got back.
Yeah.
We stood put.
Stay put. Yeah, staying around and being bored, I mean, of course that's going to happen. People wonder why they're depressed. I mean, there's a lot of reasons why people are depressed, but some people are depressed just because they're not doing anything.
Oh, man.
You're just fucking filled with anxiety and there's nothing. You're just alone, just trying to think of something to do. Bored out of your fucking mind.
Which is crazy. How you can't think of nothing to do when it's all outside? Like, you can just – I can walk out – because I'm from that era where we used to play outside. Yeah. So if I go outside, I'm going to find something to do.
If I find another person, we're going to find something to do. If we find another person, oh, no, this is a football game. All we need is three people and a ball, and we're throwing this ball up in the air. It's a hot ball. We're going to do something.
Something's happening.
Do you remember children's playgrounds, how fucking dangerous they were? With those metal contraptions, those houses you would climb inside of?
You thought that was dangerous?
Do they have those today?
I think they do, but they're made out of rope now, and it's really dangerous. Oh. It's some little corded rope. You could tear your hand up. Like, I prefer the balls.
I grew up with the balls. You could swing from them. That was my thing, the balls. Even the spinning. Oh, man, I think I know people who dislocated their shoulder on the spinning thing.
Some big, grown kid would come and spin all the kids on the thing. And you'd hold on, and they'd keep spinning it. And then you'd just let go because your head, you can't hold it no more. Those were the days of concussions, good concussions.
Yeah. Well, you learned. You definitely learned what hurts.
Oh, I definitely learned what hurt. Yeah. Like, you'd never let the big kids spin your head ever again.
Those little, big kids are mean.
It was crazy. You're 6.. Hey, man, you know you're 13,, right? Like, why are you over here?
Especially boys. Teenage boys are the most fucking dangerous animals on the planet.
Man, do you understand? I lived in some apartments where these guys, they were old. They was high teens. And when you went to go check the mail, because the mailbox was by the pool, they would try to throw you in the pool.
And you'd go check the mail, and your mother would tell you, hey, don't bring my damn mail back here wet. And you would have to sneak to the mailbox and open the mailbox so quietly, get the mail, and you hoped that nobody would see you, because if anybody saw you, they're going to say, hey, here's the mailbox.
And now you've got to run. Now you've got to run because they're going to throw you in the pool. I remember one time I got thrown in, and I tried to hold the mail up.
I hate the performance, man. I hate them.
Teenage kids, they're fucking dangerous. Because they have man strength, and they just got it. They just got it. It's like lottery winners. They're like lottery winners.
They just start spending all their money. Lottery winners, they go broke quick because they're like, they never had this before, and all of a sudden they have it. When you're 13 and all of a sudden you kind of have a man body, and you're 14 and you're strong as shit, and little kids, you could just yell at them and tell them what to do and make them do shit and smack them around.
The problem is this.
When you do that and then one of the kids that you hurt have uncles that's like close to your age, like you 14, 15, and his uncle is 19, and he don't care nothing about none of that. He's like, yo, hey, man, you hurt my little cousin? And then, blah, blah, blah. And he got a little more skill. He got a little more attack to his newfound male strength.
Yeah, they know how to use it. A 19-year-old is very different. You get 19 and 20, and, you know, those are men.
I was different. I was a pretty good fighter at 19.. I started fighting maybe around 10.. You get some good ones. I remember when I knew the difference between being 13 and being 19,, when my cousin got into a fight with these guys, and this guy was thick.
All this was like. really, he was a man.
And he pushed me just in the stomach. He just pushed me. He wasn't even trying to fight me. He was, everybody get back. And he pushed me and knocked all the air out of me.
I was like, man, what is happening? And I slowly started going to the ground. Like if he would have actually punched me, like if he was trying to, oh, yeah, he would have wiped me out.
Yeah.
Because body shots are something different. That's a different shot.
Oh, yeah.
People think that a body shot don't look as pretty as a shot to the head, but it's just as devastating, if not worse.
Oh, yeah. Like that Ryan Garcia, one where Javante Davis caught him with that left hook to the body. People were saying that he quit. No. He never been hitting the liver.
Oscar De La Hoya quit the same way with Bernard Hopkins.
The same thing.
Same body shot.
Same body shot. And he tried to come, and he tried to take a step out that corner and not the front of his foot even moved. He just went down. He was like, man, this is it.
And if you get kicked to the body. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A kick to the body is so goddamn devastating, especially a spinning back kick. You literally pick someone up in the air.
It's like they get hit by a car.
And a kick. Yeah.
Want to see me when I was 19?. Show that video of me knocking that dude out when I was 19.. This is from a tight window tournament. I hit this kid with a spinning back kick to the body. So you can see how hard.
Man, I'm 150 pounds, 155 pounds.
155 pounds spinning around, coming at you full force. That's not light.
That's what I'm saying. I'm saying even though I was light, like fairly light in comparison, the amount of power that you can generate with your legs and what your ribs are. Me and my daughter were doing this little art project and we're drawing zombie. This zombie thing. We're making this painting together.
And while we're doing this, we took a photo from the internet of an actual rib cage. So we could do it right and draw it correctly. And I'm looking at it. I'm like, look at this fucking weird protection of all your squishy organs that are underneath there. I mean, when you really think about it, these little skinny-ass bones are the only thing that's protecting your soft lungs and your liver.
Like this is me in the blue. This is me when I was 19..
That dude was done. He kicked in the body. like that. You just.
There's no volume on this. But you get kicked in the body like that. It's the worst feeling in the world. Everything shuts down. You can't move.
You can't move. Everything just goes. It's just electrocute. Electrocution goes through your body.
Electric power. Just the thump. Just the compression of your organs. Just your whole body going into shock. Your whole spinal column getting jolted.
Your legs don't work anymore.
That's the problem. Your legs don't work. Yeah. They just feel like.
They just stop working.
Just nothing.
You could tell them whatever the fuck you want. They're not listening.
You're trying to send shockwaves from your brain to your legs. And then your legs are like, man, if you don't get the fuck out of here, I'm going down.
The most shocking to me was when I would get hit on the chin. Because one time I got dropped. I got hit on the chin with a left hook. And my legs just went like this. They just shut off.
It wasn't like I got hurt. Like, oh my God, I'm hurt. I'm going down. They just went shut off. The legs just shut off.
And I was like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that? They just stopped working. It's like my whole system got short circuited.
They just go boink. What a stupid design. Just the jaw.
The jaw is. It's really the turning.
Sometimes not, though, because sometimes a straight shot just on the tip of the jaw knocks people out.
It's the whole compression of the head going back.
I think there's something else going on, too, specifically with the jaw. Because you could spin someone's head around in other ways, like on the cheek, and it doesn't seem to have the same effect. the jaw does. I think, the nerves behind the jaw.
Let me tell you. Whatever's going on in the jaw, I had a crown put in, and the guy went too deep with it.
He did a root canal?
No, but he tried to numb me up to put it in, so he damaged a nerve. that's in the lining of the jaw. And it took, like, two months for that shit to heal. Really? And it was excruciating.
Like, it was excruciating.
Nerves are rough. Yeah. Nerves take a long time.
Oh, it was excruciating. Yeah. It was like, and then I had to still perform, and I was doing meet and greets, and I was having to smile, so I'm, and this crown here, oh, my goodness.
So did it make your face paralyzed?
It was. I was down my, I had to get all type of massages now, because it was, the lining of my jaw, they had to adjust it, like, maybe four times, because it was terrible. It was terrible. It was terrible.
A lot of people get that, what is that called? What's that disease when half your face goes? Bell's palsy.
Bell's palsy.
That's crazy.
I know a couple guys with that.
Half your face just starts working.
I know a couple guys with bad bell palsy. Yeah.
You don't realize how lucky you are to be healthy until you're not.
Man, you got to take advantage of health.
God, it's the most important thing, and that's another thing. People, they put all this effort into life, and they don't put effort into that.
Into health, which is crazy. It's crazy. And then don't even try to look at the things that can make you more healthy.
The amount of research that people do, they'd rather scroll on their phone than just look up something that can be helpful to them personally.
Something good for you.
Which is weird.
It's the same thing. I think people don't think about the future that much. I mean, they do a little bit, kind of abstract.
I hate that whole, you got to die from something. Well, you ain't got to die, fucking miserable. You ain't got to die. There's a lot of stuff that you don't have to die of. Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you know there's more people dying today because they eat too much than starving to death for the first time in history? Wow. Yeah.
You know, Texas is a fast state.
Good food. Terry Black's Barbecue. What's up?
Food here is fantastic.
You know, people dying from eating too much? What's up, Terry's Black Barbecue.
I definitely eat too much when I'm there.
We recreationally eat.
Yes, we do. We go, just, oh man, let me go see what this is about.
Yeah.
In Texas, we are the kings and queens of. let me just go check something out. And go in there like, oh man, they got a new donut place. Let's go see what they talking about. Like, why?
Because we have the currency. We have the.
Got a nice surplus.
Oh man.
Yeah.
It's hard to go on the road once you. Texas is my home. It's where I grew up. Houston especially. We have great food.
So then you go on the road to other places and then they, I'm going to take you to the best barbecue place. I'm going to take you to the best. Then you get there, you're like.
You're spoiled.
Damn.
There's some places that have good barbecue. Apparently, Kansas City has good barbecue.
No, not really.
No? It's a different thing, right?
Not like here.
No. Like. Do you know where it came from?
L.A. came, L.A. has the worst Mexican food of all time. Like. Really?
Yes, the worst.
Do you like Tex-Mex or regular Mexican?
Regular Mexican. I lived in a Mexican neighborhood in Houston and they had the best food. So I'm like, I don't know. Them must be different. Them Aztecas.
I don't know. They're different Mexicans.
There's some spots in California. You just got to go to the spots where the Mexicans go.
That's what. Like when I'm in L.A., it's some food. I'm like, this is y'all bad. All right.
I used to go to this place in the valley called Big Burrito. They got like Mexican soap operas playing. Nobody speaks English. They have like lengua, quesadillas.
See, that's everywhere in Houston.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like that's the survival. The real shit. Yes. That's where I'm going to go. Like.
I learned how to make tamales. I learned how to make tamales in this store called Fiesta from this Mexican lady who did not speak English. And she had a granddaughter translating what she wanted me to write down. And that's how I learned. I got the pots.
I grinded myself the whole night. So it's hard for me to go places and say that. I was in St. Louis.
Kansas City. Oh, they got the best soul food, seafood place. I'm like, OK, cool. I'm going to go.
I was eating. It was like this. Hey, man, look. When you don't season your batter. See, that's a normal thing everywhere in Houston.
It's too many fish places that I can go to eat. And then, when Maryland, we got the best blue crab. Man, I live on the Gulf. You don't think we have blue crab here? We got a lot of food here.
A lot of food.
Yeah, a lot. It's a lot. It's a good place to eat.
Yeah.
There's some good spots in the country. There's some great food places in the country.
I'm picky. Yeah.
You got a specific kind of food you like to eat?
I eat. That's the problem. I eat everything, all cultures, if your food is good. I live in a place that happens to have all cultures. And they have great food.
If I want any type of African food, I can just go on Bissonette in Houston. I can start at any end of Bissonette and I'm going to find good African food. We have five Chinatowns in Houston. Really? Yeah.
There's five Chinatowns?
Five Chinatowns.
Isn't Houston the third biggest city in the country? Yeah. That's a big country. That's a big city for this country.
Man, it's a place. Yeah. It's a place that has all food. I got Cuban food. I got Colombian food.
It's out, man.
Houston was the best comedy scene in the world at one point in time, in the 80s.
I still think that Houston is the greatest comedy scene. We put out a lot of great comedies. We don't have the clubs anymore, though. That's the thing.
That's the thing. Yeah.
Improv is there. Seeker Group is there.
They used to have the Laugh Stop.
They used to have the Laugh Stop, the Laugh Spot.
Yeah. The Laugh Spot went under, too?
Yeah. Both. Do you remember Spellbinders?
I heard about it. I never went there.
Yeah. Spellbinders. Spellbinders. Then Improv brought out what the Spellbinders is. It's the Improv and the Seeker Group.
Then I think they got a new comedy club called Rise. Then Comedy Lounge on the north side.
Yeah. Well, the Improv's a great club. That's a great club. That was the first club I did coming back. I did that in July.
I did one weekend. Then I got real high, and I got paranoid that I was going to give people COVID, like my guests, because I'm so selfish and I want to do the road. Even though I was getting tested every day, I was like, What if it slips? What if I get a false negative? So I stopped, but I had a great time there.
Speaking of great clubs, I stopped in last night at the Mothership.
That's pretty wild, right?
Pretty nice. That's a nice comedy club. Yeah. Very comic friendly.
Yeah. Well, the comic built it.
Yeah.
I built it specifically just for us. I didn't build it like a business. If I was my accountant, I'd go crazy, because the whole idea was I just want to break even. I just want to build it and make it the most friendly place ever for comedians. so the comedians make plenty of money.
Everybody's happy. The place is packed.
It's a beautiful room. That's a beautiful curtain. Thank you. The way the lights. Yeah, it's dope.
Then the name Fat Man and Little Boy.
Yeah. You know what that's from?
Yeah, the bomb.
But you know why?
No, I don't know why you did it.
Because that's when the UFOs started coming.
That's when UFOs started coming?
Yeah, it's part of UFO folklore. That's why, when you walk in the middle of the lobby, there's a giant UFO. That's what that's for. That UFO is a replica of that, and that is a replica of the craft that Bob Lazar, a guy who was a propulsions expert, who was a whistleblower, who worked at Area S4 and Area 51 in the Nevada desert, back engineering alien spacecrafts, supposedly. But this is what he described, and that's what we put in the whole club, the whole idea of the comedy mothership.
The whole idea is the club's themed on UFOs. That's the whole idea behind it. That's why there's that crazy gateway over the stage. It looks like a starport.
When they detonated the bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that's when UFOs started coming. All the UFO activity ramped up substantially.
Why do you think that is?
Because I think they realized we have nukes. Like, these crazy motherfuckers just wiped out whole cities with nukes. These fucking assholes, they had to come down and go, Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing, man? What the fuck are you doing?
Why do you think they came?
What the fuck is going on? Who gave them nuclear weapons?
I think they realized we reached a level of technological sophistication that we could kind of kill everybody on Earth.
Or you think one of them went rogue and taught us?
I don't think one of them went rogue and taught us, because there's a very, like, if you go and look at the Manhattan Project and you go and look at the history of splitting the atom, there's a very clear academic paper trail of how they figured this out. And all the trials that they did and what they did when they detonated the Trinity bomb, which, by the way, was one of the first times they ever discovered those nanodiamonds. It's a thing they called trinitite. And it's like nuclear glass, they call it as well. And it's what happens when a massive impact hits sand and it turns it into this kind of glass.
I think that, because when you come with all the visits,
what were they visiting to do? Because I know they all say, like, we caught one or something like that. If you did, did you try to torture him and get stuff out of him? What would be the thing? But what were the visits if they wasn't teaching something?
Because I believe in it. I just don't know what they were visiting to do.
Well, the way I describe it is. there's a great show on Netflix called Chimp Empire. And Chimp Empire is all about these scientists that are embedded in this chimp tribe. And they've been there for 30 years. Because these scientists have been there for 30 years, the chimpanzees behave like there's no people there.
They can get within 20 feet of these chimpanzees. Chimpanzees, as long as they don't eat in front of them, and as long as they never present any sort of danger, raise their voices, and as long as they just stay back, the chimps don't pay attention to them at all. They just go throughout their life. So these scientists are observing these chimpanzees, and then the cinematographers captured all of this. I think the way we treat chimpanzees is probably – and they let them kill each other.
They do wild shit to each other, these chimps. They engage in territorial warfare. They fight over access to fruit. I think the aliens would treat us the same way. I think they would observe us but not do anything.
And I think if we did something fucking dangerous, like nuclear bombs, then they would go, whoa, okay. Because I think if alien societies do exist, and intelligent life is out there in the universe, I think what happens is they keep getting more and more and more sophisticated, and in the beginning they engage in tribal warfare, and as they become more and more sophisticated, their technology becomes far too dangerous to keep doing that same shit. And that's when they observe them, because it's this perilous tipping point where we could completely wipe out life on earth, or we can evolve and get to the next stage of existence, where we could coexist harmoniously, and throughout the universe, and join some fucking global – some rather universal group of beings. It's possible. But the only way that's possible is if we don't nuke ourselves.
So, with the chimpanzees, they observe it. The scientists are there, they're observing them.
Yeah.
And they see them, they don't pay attention. See, the problem with us is that we're scary. If we see an alien, I'm not going to not pay attention. Of course. I'm going to, ha!
Who the fuck is that? Yeah, of course. It's like being in black. Like, they got to look normal. I believe that there's definitely other life forms, there's definitely other civilizations.
that's happening that we're just not ready for. I don't think we're ready.
I don't think we're ready.
We've got to be groomed.
Do you think that there's, like, all these UFO sightings, and the government talking about UFOs, and this whistleblower that came out and said there's a crash retrieval program, and we have crashed vehicles, and they've recovered alien bodies?
You believe and I believe, but it's the old man, like, hell. no. I'm not messing with it. Because he's not ready for the difference. Like, man, it's on his ability.
Just now he got used to seeing black people.
He damn sure ain't ready. For gray people. He ain't ready for shit, else. He's like, hey, man, what else, man? Goddamn.
He got, like, six eyes. Man, what is this shit? He's not ready. He's not ready, man.
I wonder if that's what they're doing by these sightings. I wonder if it's like a trickle effect. Just a little bit.
Like with the Jetsons. We still don't believe in the Jetsons. And we, like, nobody. So they were already pulling people up on big screens, talking to each other and shit on the Jetsons. And my mother was watching the Jetsons.
Who thought that the Jetsons. So when it happened, you just went and got it. Ah, it's $800.. You just got excited about having it. Instead of, what the fuck?
Now, because it's the Jetsons. You. in this time frame. It has to be a grooming. It's like, okay, let's see how they act with E.T.
Okay, they seem to love that movie. Shit, let's throw Alf out there. Let's see if they're ready for a furry one. Alf, I forgot about Alf. Then it's like, hey, maybe the Muppets.
Maybe the Muppets is a big-ass bird. Just rolling around and talking stuff. Then we advance up to, what was that? The Man from Mars. Then the Great Gazoo.
And then now we up to Men in Black. And this shit is all right.
It's a trickle. I've got to keep feeding it to them. And then, all of a sudden, you just see somebody just come down the spaceship at McDonald's. I'm like, hey, what's up, y'all? Y'all?
good? Let me get two Big Macs. We love you. It's Earth food. And then you like, hey, man, you saw that?
Yeah, I saw that shit last week. And then that's it. Now you've got to get accustomed to it.
What year was the Jetson supposed to be? I just looked. It was made in 1962..
Let me guess.
It was 100 years in the future. Oh, okay. 2062.. Wow. And here's some of the stuff they had.
They had flying cars. They'll never get us that.
Robotic dogs. People drunk flying. Hell no.
They had robotic vacuums. Video calls. Tablet computers. Robotic house help. They had tablets?
Yes.
I don't remember that.
They worked for Spricely Sprockets.
Flying cars. Smartwatches. They had smartwatches. Drones. Holograms.
3D-printed food. Oh, yeah, that's right.
They had a pill cam. When you swallow it, it sees your body. Oh, look at George. He knows what's going up with us. Flat-screen TVs.
Flat-screen TVs.
Jetpacks. Yeah. There's a few other articles that do the same thing, but...
The jetpacks they have now, is that one dude that's got wings on his jetpack, and they've caught him flying around buildings and shit? I don't think they last long. I think you can only stay up there for a few minutes. But you can fucking fly until you run out of gas. This is not it.
What is this one? That was ten years ago. What's the most recent? What can they do now? I've seen that guy, I think, in my...
Jetwing suit? Yeah. There it is. That's it. That's it.
That is fucking wild. The jetwing. Is there a video of these guys using this?
You definitely got to have on a fireproof pajama set.
Look at that. Look at this motherfucker. Look at him. He's flying around buildings.
This is crazy.
What are the odds of those things failing? I mean, that's not like a Toyota Corolla. Those things aren't reliable. That's fucking emerging technology. You're going to risk your life flying over highways?
That's wild.
Hell no.
But if that happens in the future, the problem is people are just going to be doing it, just like you see people on the highway, riding wheelies, just flying down the highway.
Just wild shit.
Wild shit. They're going to be doing that in the air, slamming into houses.
That's why they're not going to give you flying cars. I'm really not messing with this car, just get in and just let the car drive for you. I'm not trusting it like that.
Yeah, I don't trust it. I have it. I don't trust it.
You have it?
Yeah, I have a Tesla.
Did you just get in and just...
I can.
And just... And say, hey, take me to...
You enter in your address that you want to go to, press auto-navigate. Yeah.
And it'll take off by itself.
Stops at red lights.
Nah.
You're supposed to keep your hand on the wheel, though.
You're supposed to keep your hand on the wheel?
Yeah, just in case.
Man, I be seeing people, you know, laid back, you know, like, nah, I can't. I can't do it.
So that's a driverless taxi? Yeah, I've seen them around Austin. I've seen them too. Do they just drive real slow?
Man, I'm not checking for it, fam. I'm not doing it.
Yeah, that's the future. We're looking at that. We're saying...
I think people don't realize that they're trying to get rid of you with this. Like, I don't do self-checkout because it doesn't make sense to me. Like, why am I helping them get you out of here? And I know I want to talk to a person if something goes wrong. I don't do self-checkout, and plus, I don't come nowhere to work.
I just got off work. Why would I come in here to work?
Well, you're from a different generation, and the generation of kids that are coming up today, do you know how many of them? Uber? They don't even have cars?
Crazy.
A lot of people Uber now. They just take Lyfts and Ubers everywhere.
Okay, so this generation Uber. Then the next generation Uber. Who knows how to drive the car in the third generation?
Well, then you're going to be having these things. There's going to be a generation, whether it's our grandchildren or their grandchildren, that never drives. That. no one drives their own car. Everybody has an automated vehicle.
That's like writing. They take writing. Kids don't learn in school how to write.
They don't learn cursive.
And they don't learn cursive. That's crazy to me. That's insane. That's insane. That's insane.
They're all just typing on their phones, typing on a computer.
That don't mean get rid of writing. That's crazy. They took the clock out of the school because people have digital jobs. But you still want them to be able to tell time. America is not the world.
You're going to probably go somewhere else in the world, and you're going to have to write something. That's crazy.
And you see a clock. You're like, what the fuck does that say?
They're used to digital.
And then, when you used to get offended, when people said stupid to Americans, now you're like, I understand. What do you mean?
This country is crazy, man.
Well, I think there's some Americans, they go abroad, they just act like fucking assholes. They think they're allowed to because they're in another country.
They ruin it for everybody else. No, I think locked up abroad has changed that whole ideology. Oh, yeah. Locked up abroad has changed. Oh, I can go anywhere and do whatever I want to do.
You've seen the show Locked Up Abroad? No. Watch a couple episodes. Watch a couple episodes and then go over to Yugoslavia and see how you feel about that, man. And then when people get taken,
I don't go anywhere and don't check in with the embassy. I need somebody to know where I'm at.
So when you go to a country to work, do you check in with the embassy?
Hey, I need to know where y'all at and what's the rule. Yeah, I need to know, because I'm not going somewhere and don't know where the embassy is. I watched Jason Bourne. At least you can run to the embassy and you're safe. At least in that.
But if I go to Dallas, I live in Houston. If I go to Dallas, I'm checking in with the embassy. I'm not.
I need somebody to know where I'm at, man. I'm just not rocking with being in this world without somebody knowing my whereabouts. Even though I'm a grown man, I'm going to say something to somebody, hey, I'm going to roll over here. I need a witness or an alibi. I need something.
I don't believe in being in the world by yourself. I just don't.
That's a good move. The world is definitely not America either. Yeah. That's the thing.
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