Madison Beer: Blackmailed With My Nudes [VIDEO]

Madison Beer Welcome to call her daddy. Thank you. I am so happy that we're finally doing this. I know you and I have kind of talked before. We were like, we need to make it happen and now we're here, we're here.

It feels right. Thank you for coming today.

At Visiting Day, kids were wrapped around their parents ankles, begging them not to leave. I was just like, Is it over yet? can you guys go? I don't know. It was just sort of like my escape place.

I lived for camp, so that's definitely my happy place when I think back to my childhood.

I don't know, my main focus was him at the time, so I don't feel like I really dealt with it. Then. I actually quickly sort of became like a mediator in not even their relationship, like in my dad's relationship with new women or my mom and my dad. I was really lucky that my parents were able to sort of still have a relationship and be on good terms and in the same room. I have friends I grew up with whose parents couldn't even speak, so I was very grateful for that. But I think that that was sort of the beginning of aging me really quickly and growing up really fast, because I was just put in sort of adult positions really young.

Okay, that's weird, that's like a moment that I think you have at some point now when I talk about this. I do look back as a man going through a divorce who was going through a difficult time, and I empathize with him in those ways. But at the same time, I look at myself and I'm like, I did have to see sort of this, like, he's going to kill me. This like revolving door of women. And there was a lot of people and there was things that I just sort of like, had to see. Whether it was like him kissing someone or even having his arm around someone, that was weird. And of course, I was very protective of my mom and didn't want her to be hurt, of course.

Yeah, and it was hard for sure, and my dad got remarried once, but kind of twice. He had a very serious, like six, seven year long relationship after his second wife, but it was hard. It definitely also instilled abandonment issues in me. Very, very young. Because I would develop this relationship with this woman who I sort of was like, Oh, you're like, kind of my second mom. And I was actually into it because I enjoyed having these relationships with these like new women, it was fun.

And then I would just never see them again and it was really hard. And I do look back and think that that is like a lot of why I have maybe these like attachment, abandonment issues.

One of my parents is going through it and it's not even to judge the parent again. Because we're almost now going to get to the age where we're the parent and our kids are like, you fucked me up.

In your memoir, you write about one of the most traumatic experiences that you experienced in your rise of fame and your career. When you were only 15 years old, you had a nude video leaked and spread across the internet. Can you take us back to that moment? Madison of Like, When do you remember finding out that this got leaked and was spreading?

So, yeah, so I, yeah, I was 15, I probably was even maybe 14 13 in some of the videos that exist. And I will get to the where I'm going with, you know, the multiples. But so, of course, as a young girl, there was a boy that I liked from back home. And when I was sort of already, like in L.A. a bit going back and forth, I started sending videos of myself to him. As I think a lot of people do, and I also won't, like, ever convince myself that a lot of people don't do that. Because I've seen tweets of people being like, maybe you shouldn't have been dumb enough to send that to this person, and why would you do that? And I'm like, cause I was a young girl. With also an app called Snapchat that literally deletes the video after you send it.

What could? What's the harm in that? I remember hearing of this thing called Snap Save, and I was like, What the fuck is that? And someone told me it was an app that you can download that, basically, whenever you open a Snapchat, it saves to your camera roll automatically. And I was like, that can't be real. Because you know how you get a notification when someone's screen records or takes a screenshot. I was like, that something has to notify you.

So I found out that existed, but I just didn't think that the person I was sending this stuff to would remotely ever think to do something like that. Because this was someone I'd known my whole life, so I was wrong, obviously, when I first, first, first found out that it was going around, I don't. I think I was like, in bed or something. And someone had sent it to me and was like, Yo, this is going, I just got this. No, it was like, I just got this sent to me and I was like, who sent it to you? where did you get this from?

What the fuck full, just like. I just couldn't believe what was going on.

So I'm in crisis mode, just trying to trace it and do damage control and be like, Where did it come from? Because maybe if I find the source, I can stop this. And I knew in my bones that the second it was texted to me, it would end up on the internet. Unfortunately, and I couldn't run from that fact.

So it went from that to then. My friend in Florida the next day, and this was someone from New York that originally texted me. My friend in Florida the next day calls me. And immediately, of course, I answer, and I'm like, what's going on? She's like, I just saw this video of you and she sent me a different video. So now there's two and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I just knew at that point it was spiraling, and I knew it was a matter of time until it got online. And it was so. It was so hard to just not tell my mom and like, I just didn't know what to, I did not know what to do. And then that night was sort of when I got the like, No, that wasn't even that night.

It was that day, actually. I literally went to dance rehearsals and I remember I was like, with my choreographer and I was just working on, like, dance, movement or something for a show. And it was on Twitter and it was just there and I was just looking at it. And I remember just dropping to the floor and being like, Oh my God, what do I do?

And I reached out to the person who posted it and begged them to delete it, and they just blocked me straight up, just blocked me immediately. And then now I'm staring at this gray screen with a dull username, and I'm like, I just feel powerless in the moment. And then I'm just sitting and typing my name in quotation marks on Twitter to see everything people are saying about me and just refreshing in real time. And it was just everywhere.

And then it was on vine, and it was just it was just on every social media platform possible, so quickly.

And I didn't realize until, like years later, that I was the victim in the situation. And I don't know. There's just so many, there's so many things I can say about it. And I think that some people who maybe haven't gone through it. Or men, don't understand how truly traumatizing something like this can be, especially for a minor. So when I talk about it, like, I've had people, of course, sympathize and be like, that's horrible, but I've also had people be like, Who cares?

So and then, so, it also then continued to get worse. So then other videos would be uploaded that, you know, would be girls that I could sort of see a resemblance of. They maybe looked like me a bit and people would think it was me. And then and then I was put in this position that I couldn't admit to one video and deny the rest.

And again, being 15 years old, I just denied it all. Being me, I was like, this isn't me, it's full stop, just not me, because I was. Also at the time. The adults around me were telling me that it was bad and it was going to ruin my career. And oh my goodness, this is just horrible. And I remember, like, you know, when we were younger, like Miley, Cyrus had that video for smoking a bong going viral.

And I remember thinking to myself, something like that at the time was really negative, that if I'm like, naked in something, that's that's a million times worse. And I just remember I kept thinking about that and just being like, I'm done, I'm finished. And it was so, so hard for so long.

And I felt like the whole world had seen this video and I I also had this. This is also the beginning of having like, real.

Triggerable PTSD from the situation. Because right, when I sort of started a couple weeks later, being able to breathe again and being like, OK, it's dying down. The internet's finding something else to like, fixate on. I got an anonymous text message, like, literally, like, I was in fucking pretty little liars. That was a picture of a computer screen with like 50 videos on it that were all like little. And I'm looking at this and it's blurry, but I can see exactly what it is. And again, for anyone out there who's like, that's a lot of videos, I was a young, horny kid that, like, sent videos to a guy that I like.

Like, I'm not going to let anyone shame me for it because it is what it is. But like, it was a. It was a lot and I just like, was staring at this and I couldn't believe that they had everything I'd ever said. And I know that in some of these videos again, I'm like, 13, 14, 15, these are like, I'm not talking about.

A day like these are years worth of like nudes I'm sending to this kid. So that just instilled a whole other level of paranoia. Am I being watched? Does someone have my Snapchat hacked? Like, what is going on right now?

And I think what was the most like, difficult part was knowing in my bones that I wasn't the one who was at fault. That the boy who betrayed my trust was the one who should be at fault. But that was also me learning very quickly that, like men and women, get treated very differently.

You said you could fill one fucking computer, I could have filled 20. Madison.

I think he saved it to show his guy friends and look and act cool, which is wrong and not saying that that's okay at all. But he was so young, I think he was just like, look like hot girl sending me nudes. I really just don't think it was malicious. And that's been something that I've had to come to that place because I have seen people do evil shit.

I've had people in the last. So on my 21st birthday was when I, like, posted on International Women's Day, saying, sort of like. I take back the anxiety and the shame that I felt all these years. And I don't let. I'm not letting anyone control me because I had someone threatening me at that time, being like, I'm going to leak this, you're a whore, everyone's going to know all this stuff. And that was to me, like.

That is a malicious person that is trying to use like revenge porn. I don't think that the guy who did this was doing that to me. And I know people are going to be like, that's no, no, no.

Listening like this can ruin someone's fucking life.

I had to hire a web sheriff is something that I didn't even know existed out of my own money. Every dollar I'd earned up until that point in my career, I then spent on clearing this and scrubbing it from the internet. And something that I want to, like, bring this conversation back to, is that. I am hopeful that now the internet would protect a 14 15 year old girl who had something like this happen. I think it would be removed on Tik Tok instantaneously, removed on Twitter instantaneously. I didn't get that privilege, and I think it was just a different time in 2014 and people had little to no compassion for me specifically.

And um, yeah, I sort of just got the sharp end of the stick, that was like, really difficult, and it was spreading on. I remember specifically Twitter and Vine like a wildfire and just people. Not one person was like, isn't this girl a minor? isn't she really young, like?

No one said that it was horrible, okay?

I remember there was a video that I saw. And it's one of those things that, like, once you click it, like, you're like, sort of in this trance of like, oh my god. This guy had a had the video, one of them on his TV in his room and had. Like, a sex doll. And he was just like having aggressive sex with this sex doll. While watching this video of me of a 14 year old little girl, and it was a grown man, like, visibly a grown adult. And I remember, just like, first of all, being reminded of being sexually abused as a child. And I was like, I just I couldn't like, take my eyes off of it because of how shocking it was.

That was also like the day I discovered what like being triggered was, um, and I was just it was. I had so many feelings and emotions of like, just like, that image will never leave my head. I was so disturbed by it and so afraid, I felt so unsafe and just like scared. And there was so many layers of like, peeling the onion of that, of how that made me feel.

And again, like, just no, no one saying that it was wrong.

But what people didn't understand was how fucking painful they were for you to be called a slut and a whore. And yet you are looking at yourself barely have ever been in a sexual relationship at this point in your life. Can you go back a little to your childhood? And and as much as you're comfortable sharing? Like, how how did you, like, handle what happened to you? and like, how old were?

Um, well, okay. So firstly, yeah. There was, you know, someone in in my childhood that was around me frequently. That sort of would that I had an inappropriate relationship with very early on. Um, I would say like, probably, I don't even know, I would say, maybe six, seven, I, I'm not sure.

It sort of began. And um, I've also, like, I want to say like, I've come to peace with this because I feel like in talking in person with some people about this. I've been able to create, I've been able to like join this community of women specifically that I feel really proud to like stand amongst. Genuinely. So I remember feeling really dirty, um, after like all of anything I would endure, whether it was like, whatever it was. And I just remember, like, feeling like I had done something wrong. Not being able to fully articulate what, um, I don't know. I feel like I just look back and being someone who had gone through all of this so privately. Whereas, like, my own family didn't even know about this until. I mean, this might be news to like some people in my family, but my, like my mom, I didn't even tell my mom until years later.

I never, um, hooked up with any of them and I might've like, kissed one or two of them. But that was like the extent of it. And people were just like, Oh, she slept with all of them and she did this and I'm like, whoa, you guys don't even know.

It took me so long to, like, have sex with my first boyfriend because I was so afraid and, like, traumatized. So it just it just goes to show that people really have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

It's so fucking sick and it like, it makes me so upset because again, it's like, and I not back to the kid that released your nudes. But it is kind of like, where is any accountability for any men in this situation?

Potentially.

So you're gonna, you're gonna then blame and shame a girl who's posting with like her boobs, looking whatever and say fatherless behavior. But we're not going to talk about the fact that you're not discussing that. Maybe a parent actually did walk out on this little girl and that's horrible, right? Like, What the fuck are you saying? I'm sorry?

So he types to me a message that says, Basically, I hacked this person's Snapchat and I know that you were R worded. And I'm going to tell the entire internet if you don't, follow me on Instagram and like, do x, y and z. And I was like, What the fuck? And I'd only told him this in person, like a couple of months prior. But we were talking about it on Snapchat, cause something had happened. I forget what, obviously that upset me.

And I was just talking to him about, like, you know, because this happened, I feel really upset and dah, dah, dah, and I was now being threatened to release. Basically, to to do things to shout this person out on Instagram and to do things online to benefit this guy. Or else he was going to leak this information to the public. So in that moment, I was like, Well, this isn't how I want my mom to find out. So I had to call my mom and be like, Hey, something might end up on the internet that I think you should know, yeah.

That's why I just laugh, cause I'm like, Madison, it's just crazy.

Like, what the fuck?

And I was able to turn these things into, in the most fucked up way, a positive. It doesn't mean I should have had to go through them, and that's been the biggest thing with therapy. That I've learned is being able to tell myself like, you didn't deserve these things. And just because you've done, just cause you've shouldered them gracefully and you've been able to, like, survive, doesn't mean you should have gone through them.

Just because you're able to talk about it and hopefully help other people does not fucking mean that anyone, nor myself, should have gone through these things. So that's something that I've been able to, just like, give myself. So I want anyone watching or listening to know that I'm at peace with these things. But I still, like, literally two nights ago, I was so triggered and so upset about something that happened. That I, like, was dissociating and didn't know where I was, and was, like, very afraid and felt like a little girl again.

Like, I have a lot of issues still that I'm very much so working through. So I don't want people to think I'm just like, ha ha, okay about it, I just can't.

Um, yeah, I just. I just can't like, break down and cry about it every time. Because I'm just at a place where I'm like, you know it, it, yeah, it is. It sort of says what it is.

Um, I'm really petrified of the dark, which I have a hard time saying publicly, because I feel like the paranoia. I have also horrible paranoia, which, as you can see why, um, the paranoia in me. Thinks someone's going to purposely do that to me and put me in a dark room or a dark place, and just like, want to see me suffer? Um, so that's like why I've never really talked about it, but I also discussed in the book. Like, on tour, we'll have the obviously we have blackouts after every song. I had to do, like submersion therapy, almost where I was like, I had to, like, work myself up to going from like a 0.5 second blackout to a three second blackout. And being able to sort of be okay in those moments. And I had to literally, like, submerse myself in it and like, get through that.

And that was something I worked on with my therapist before I went on tour. Um, and now I have this like, simple yet effective thing where like, I just I like, sort of do this and it helps, like, ground me. It's weird, um, and I also people don't really see, but when I do have a blackout, there will be people on both sides of the stage. With some sort of form of light. That just helps remind me where I am. Because I can just get like, lost in it. And sometimes I'll feel like I'm in, you know, the place that I was abused and whatnot. So I just need something to kind of ground me, whether it's like, Okay, I'm here, I'm at my show.

I hear my fans screaming, I'm okay, or like, looking to the side of the stage and seeing like, there's a there's one song. I have called Sour Times. That has like quite a long blackout at the beginning at my concert. And if you like, look at videos, you'll sort of always see me looking off to the left or right at my dancers. Cause if I know people are there, I'm okay, yeah.

Um, but I have such an amazing. What's helped me so much is I have such amazing friends and family and relationships with people that like. For example, when I go to like, Universal, if I'm in a dark ride, someone will just hold my hand and be like, I'm here with you and it's okay. And it's so nice. And to have people that just sort of don't make it, like, Oh, she's so dramatic, or she doesn't. Cause I'm not going to also go into depth and explain to everyone what happened. Or, hey, just let letting everyone know I'm really scared of the dark and don't ask why.

It's just not something I care to really make public or talk about. So it's really nice when I have someone who's able to just be like, Hey, I'm here and you're good.

I know that, like setting boundaries, it sounds vague, but that's been super huge for me. Is just being able to be like, Hey, I'm uncomfortable with the topic of discussion here. Like, I don't want to be in this room where that person makes me uncomfortable. Like just little things like that. And being able to, I always say, be your own best friend and look out for yourself the same way you would look out for your best friend is really helpful. And I think just being patient, it took me years and years to be able to even discuss this.

Like, I think that anyone who's a fan of mine is going to be like, what? We had no idea. And I've been very open and candid about a lot of things that I've gone through, but this has never been something that I've been ready to talk about.

And yeah, it's just, I don't know, it's all, it's all a journey. There's no right answer. There's nothing that anyone could say to, like, make it okay or go away. And I think just, Yeah, I don't know.

Hopefully, like wishing anyone who's listening to find peace someday. It's it's really hard, and it's, I don't know, there's, there's no, there's literally nothing. I can say. It's like, very difficult, yeah.

And like, And I, I just want to talk about that for a minute, because it's like, it's so fucking real. You fucking lived it and you can talk about it. But it's like, we have to talk about it. Because, like, people need to fucking realize what their words can do. And so you, sitting there by yourself as a minor, going through this shit, like, it's so sick. Like, can you try to articulate? And it's not your job to, like, write the wrongs of people. But maybe there's someone listening that will, like, never write a negative comment again. Because, like, you're someone sitting here that has endured so much online bullying, like, where do, where do you go when those type of comments come on your feed and come on your posts?

I was raised because I was raised in the industry to be told and to tell people it doesn't affect you and you're strong. And it was sort of, and it was, it was done with the right intention, I believe of. If you want to be a good role model for your fans and let them, like, think that you're this strong individual. That doesn't let things get to them. Which is what I want my fans to think and people who look up to me, whatever, um, but it felt so disingenuous to me and I was like, it does get to me though. And I spend every night crying my eyes out because people are so vicious that I don't feel right when an interviewer is like, How do you deal with hate?

I'm like, it doesn't affect me, I, it's fine. I was like, this needs to be something that I'm honest about. So I just stopped with that nonsense because I felt like it was really silly and I felt like I owed it to people. To know that their words hurt. And even if that's honestly what they wanted to hear, because some of them probably got satisfaction hearing that I was affected by their words. But it's important.

I think it's never going to end. I think people should know that your words have power, I think that people's digital footprints should be more serious. That say things like kill yourself to people. And you know, there's also people who I've spoken to who haven't ever dealt with it, who are like, just turn your phone off. Why do you even read it?

I'm like, it's not that simple. And especially someone like me who has been unfortunately scrolling and scrolling through hate comments since I was 12 years old. It's become like part of my nature to seek out what people have to say about me, and it's been something. Cause I'm also just like being completely genuine, I'm someone who does care about what people think about me.

Like, I pride myself on being a kind individual who has a good heart, that, like, wants to make people feel good. I think that that's what life is about and I want people to be happy when they're around me and I. Whatever the fuck it is like. That's something that's really important to me and has been deeply ingrained in me as a human being. So when I read tens of thousands of comments of people saying things that I know are so far from the truth about me and my character. It bothers me and I can't help but look, and I can't help but be upset by it, and it sucks. And I wish I didn't care, but I do.

And to have that level of violation to then paranoia. And then to have to read every fucking comment and looking like, What did they say, what did they say? I don't think people understand, I understand. It's like, Oh, woe is you?

You choose this life. If there was a fucking forum, I want everyone to pause for a minute. If there was a forum that you knew you're sitting at home right now. If you knew someone was writing things about you, 10 out of 10 times, you're fucking clicking.

Fuck you, you're setting an unrealistic beauty standard. There's all these people. But I'm like, Okay, let's pause for five seconds about, like, what anyone else fucking thinks? How do you feel about your body image and your sexuality now?

Not talented enough, not smart enough, not good enough, not articulate enough. And I just, I don't know. I feel like it does sort of like, feed into all of it. I feel like it's interlocked in this weird, misogynistic way, and I don't know.

And I think, and you don't have to comment on this. But like, it's the truth, then there's a different level. Also for, like, a very attractive woman, like we just watched the Pamela Anderson doc. And it's like, the world also believes, listen, the world believes that if you're a pretty woman. Like, they're entitled to look and and get off to and stare at your body. And it's so dehumanizing. And it is also completely stripping you of your ability to feel like you're going to be seen and heard for what you've been through.

And it is like, I fucking hate everyone.

What do you want people to understand from you writing that?

And I just, I knew, I knew that it was the right diagnosis for me when I, when I was diagnosed with it. Because of course, it just felt so right, but I just, yeah, I couldn't. It just felt like I was like, was this? The goal in my life was for people to, like, give me this disorder, I don't understand it, so yeah, I don't, I don't know.

It's, it's very, it's very strained.

Like, that's actually such a great way to start a conversation with someone of like, I'm here for you. Like, I want to listen to you, I want to understand you, I want to understand what you've been through, like, you're not a bad fucking person.

You're a wonderful person with a great heart and you had a lot of fucking shit happened to you. But like, I just felt like the way that you wrote it, people don't understand it, and I really appreciated the way that you said that. Like, how to give someone it like, this shit happened to you, but you're alive and you're here and you've, like, powered through.

But I just, I think about my younger self, who it just I don't. Yeah, there was so many times where it felt like the only way out was to end it. And I just, I don't know. I just feel like I am grateful for sure for everything, because I feel like I wouldn't be the person I am today if literally everything didn't happen. But it's hard to come to terms with a lot of these things and I, it's hard to not feel bitter. I think towards people, because, and that's the biggest thing that, like my therapist, who's amazing, always says to me and she's like, I'm so glad that you've never turned cold to people. And you're still like, warm and fuzzy and friendly. And you want to be friends with everyone, and you still have, like, faith in people.

But it's a lot, it's hard, it's a hard journey.

And I feel so sorry for that to this day. So that was a lot, and I had a lot of things, just like, really, really weighing on me heavily for so long. And I just felt like I was. I just felt like, also, nothing would ever change. I felt like I would live in this sort of like, begging to be seen place for the rest of my life.

I was like, I'm never no one's ever going to know me, and I'm never going to have a real friendship. And I'm always going to be like, betrayed or like, blackmailed. And just so many endless things. I'm also I'm never going to be a successful artist. There was so many things weighing on me that I really, I started self-harming again, which I had been clean for a while.

And so that was again something that was like, Oh, you're weak and you did the wrong thing and whatever. So I just felt like it was something I'd been thinking about for a really long time. I also always said to people and this is like, horrible and dark. But probably from like, starting at like 15. I would always tell people, because you know, we have this conversation, like, Do you have any idea, like how you think you're going to die? I would always say, I know I'm going to die from suicide, I know.

And now that makes me so sad because I just think about that. Like Child who was just hurting and felt like she was screaming into a void all the time and no one cared to listen. And that just makes me really sad and I wish I can hug her. I thought that everyone on the fucking face of this earth would have rathered me dead, and so I just I did attempt twice.

And yeah, I'm really grateful that I was obviously unsuccessful, but I think people need to understand that like, it's really serious and not something to joke about. And I just like my life was almost over, like I almost died, I almost was dead because of all of this. And it's a lot to comprehend, it's a lot for me to think about, it's a lot for me to accept that people made me feel that way.

People kicked me while I was down and, just like, did not give a fuck, did not look at me as human at all. I would think about the tweets that would be posted the next day. People like laughing and making fun of the fact that I was dead and I knew it would happen. That was the sickest part. Was like, I still know to this day that if it happened, people would joke about it. Because I've seen people joke about the most horrible things ever online.

And I think it all just ties back into the fact of like, I just hope for a day of like. People having empathy and people not judging each other and being able to be kind and loving.

But I still, like, I definitely don't feel like I have this like suicidal ideation thing and me anymore. But I still have really, really horrible, dark days, like to this fucking day that I just feel defeated and I just. There's so much grieving I do for my younger self, and there's so much like I am a bit angry a little towards the internet in some ways.

I feel like I never got an apology from a lot of people, I don't know, I feel like I'm still. Also like, made fun of all the time. I'll talk in a video and people be like, she's so cringy and embarrassed.

We're going through it.

Yeah, but when you finally even get a little bit on that other side of like, it's the best. And you find a reason to live, and you find, like, a perspective that you could have never had. When you're in a relationship and you're going through all this, like, how does having a partner and having to have someone in your life and be, you know, in this dynamic where you have to be not selfish all the time and not focusing on yourself? Like, how does that affect your mental health of being in a relationship while you're going through this mental health journey?

I think that is because of my deep rooted abandonment issues and attachment style and whatever, and I am working through that. But I think on the other side, it's been amazing and I feel like I've been able to. Obviously, breakups are really hard, but I think in all three of my relationships, I look back. And I feel, you know, a lot of support at times from those people. And especially in my current one. Like, I feel supported and I feel like taking care of in a way that I can break down and like, I have someone to lean on.

And I think it's important.

It's just like you can't convince me that your ex-girlfriend was just like crazy for no reason, like you definitely caused her to be that way. So I don't really give a fuck what you have to say about yourself.

But I hate, I especially can't handle it in a guy who's like my, my crazy ex-girlfriend. I'm like, Sir.

But other than that, I think that someone who, like, Oh, I don't know, there's so many things I can say. I think hygiene is like, huge, brush your teeth, please, I'm begging you.

Please brush your teeth.

I'm begging you.

Like, in any way, shape or form, did you have, or anyone in your family, or anyone know, anyone in Justin's camp? And it wasn't like a random thing that he stumbled upon you on YouTube.

I was like crying, my eyes out, screaming when Scooter played me, boyfriend, the day that he signed me like, I. There's a lot of things, but all I like at this point, like the truth, is all that I really care to talk about. Because I think that it just doesn't matter. At this point, it's 10 years ago, so literally to break it down. Quite simply, my mom and dad have no music industry correlation.

My mom was an interior designer, my dad was a builder, like it just was not part of our life. The only person that my mom knew as I was younger that sort of had an in with those people was a guy who owns cash. Like the restaurants, which, for those of you who don't know, are like L..a. New York Hotspot restaurants. And she sort of knew him.

And she, being a proud mom, posted my YouTube video to her Facebook and was texting all her friends. Like, you know who, who could get my daughter like an audition somewhere like she? My dream was to be on Broadway, that was like my number one dream, so she was like, who can help my daughter?

Whatever, so she messaged this guy, Mark, and was like, Do you know anyone who maybe would want to like? I don't even know, like we didn't even know at the time, like what the verbiage was or what the goal was, it was more so. Just like, clearly, I was a kid who loved to sing. And what can we do with this? People also have this idea that my mom knew Scooter personally, because there's a picture that this is also. I have to again contextualize peak of me being like, hated online.

When I was, like, 16 years old, this rumor began to spread. And there's a picture of some woman with scooter when in like college, and people are like, This is Madison's mom and scooter Braun. In college, my mom's like 15 years older than scooter, mind you, and also like we.

It's just that that's just not true. And at this point, I would just say, yeah, that she did. People have this idea that, like, you can buy your way. Like my dad, like, wrote him a check and was like, sign my daughter.

You know how many kids would be famous? Yeah, like, I just, it's just not, it's just not true, and it's it's quite silly.

And I think that obviously also what? Scooter Braun, who had Justin Bieber as his artist, you think he really needed to sign Little Madison? Beer from Long Island? Like? It also didn't work out, so it wasn't like, you know, so I just, Yeah. So basically, to make a long story short, mark ended up connecting us with Scooter, who then showed to Justin, and that's how it all happened.

And it was just quite simple, and it was all very cool for me and very exciting. Twelve year old me. I was just excited that Justin Bieber watched one of my videos.

And I know there are some people watching that are like, What the fuck is going on? The point is is there was a conspiracy.

I feel like I've been a victim of, like, just no empathy. People are just mean and vicious. And will, like, make fun of me and not give me any benefit of the doubt. Or assume that I'm a liar. And it's really hard, but I don't know the reason and I don't think that I'm at a place where I blame myself anymore. Because I used to be like, Oh, it has to be something.

It has to be me. And I'm like, I didn't, I didn't do anything to these people, and I don't think that's true.

And then it's like, they feel like they know you because they've watched you quite literally mature from a girl to a woman. And there's like, some weird fucking shit.

But I don't know, I just think, like I said earlier, there's so much I wanted to say for so long that I just didn't feel was appropriate. Anywhere. But a book format of some kind, I didn't feel like a teary eyed Instagram post would really do it justice. I didn't feel like coming on here for the first time and like being this. The first time I ever really said things was. I just wanted it to be like me, telling my story without anyone else.

No strings attached and I feel good about it. And I feel like it's definitely peculiar that someone so young is like, writing a memoir, but I think it's it's bigger than just a memoir. It's more of like, I guess, a tell all and just sort of me.

And the reason it's called the half of it is because I want people to understand that. Obviously, just because, you know now this, you still only know the half of it. And we have so much more to go, like, I have so much more life to live. And it's really just also about, like everyone, viewing each other as human and being like, Wait, we're literally all trying. And it's everyone's first time here that. I don't really think that we deserve to scrutinize each other and be mean and make fun of each other and think everyone's a liar.

And just just put like, people should be in my eyes, innocent until proven guilty, not vice versa. And I just, I don't know. I hope this book book makes some people a little more empathetic towards each other and like not to spoil the ending. But the last line in the book is like, Now that you've read my story, I hope you realize that everyone has a story you just haven't read yet. And that's the truth.

And it's just the reality of life, and I think there's so many people who don't go through life with that perspective. And I think, looking at everyone as someone's child, as a probably wounded kid, we've all been through shit. And I just not to sound too preachy, but like, just be nice and just love each other. And I don't know.

And it's like, if we sit down and we take this as to heart of, like, now, next time you open your phone and you're someone that's a mean person.

Yeah, let alone be would care. So I'm like, I just feel like there's no point in, and this is for me, he is, so I know he, it's really only for me. Like, I think there's other people who feel differently and do feel like. Maybe I can use my platform and be more open and honest, but I just, I just don't feel like that audience.

It's not, it's just not like my Instagram.

And what a privileged position am I in to be so lucky to, like, have these deep connections with utter strangers through music and through vulnerability, hopefully through this book. Like, that's such a beautiful, awesome thing, and I and I, and I do, and I. And obviously in the book, you'll read that like, it comes to this sort of ending of like, I definitely made the right choice and like, the answer is yes.

And moral of the whole story of, like, all these fucked up things have happened is like, I'm still so grateful for all of it. And I wouldn't trade my position for the world. I just hope that me, as a singular individual, can make some sort of a positive impact on people. I hope people listen to this podcast and say, like, Ooh, maybe I shouldn't comment that this girl looks ugly in this video. Because why the fuck should I? Or like, maybe I should hold the door for someone? Because I never know what kind of day they had.

Like, I just think I want, I just want, so cheesy. The world to be a bit of a better place, and I want people to be nicer to each other. And I think that this book is really about that, specifically, of just like, be empathetic.

And like, there's more to her story and there's more to come. And hopefully it's going to be positive and there's going to be things that come from it. But I also agree, I hope people take from this like, let's be more compassionate because we have no fucking idea what anyone is going through. And they shouldn't have to put their life out there. 24-7. And to explain why you should be nice to people.