Conan Must Go: Jarle (Norway)

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Oh hey.

I was told to not say anything for the first few seconds.

We were just trying to get your name right. Welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a fan. Tell us your name and pronunciation.

So I often, just like I often introduce myself as Charlie, but it's to people not from Norway, because it's, I guess Jarla, that's how I would say it.

Let me say this correctly and first of all, nice to meet you, Jarla.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

Jarla, let's go with your real name. I mean, I don't think we should Americanize it. This is a global, this is a global venture, and we are now in your country, Jarla.

Okay.

With six umlauts on it.

On one letter.

What six umlauts on one letter stacked.

There's two on the O, and there's two on the A, That's four, and then there's there's like two that just float around.

Oh, I thought you added extra letters and you're just putting umlauts on top.

No, I'm conan.

Oh.

You actually know what in Norwegian that would be like the o with the dash through?

Yes, that's how I'd like to be known for this episode. CoNan It's perfect. So your name one last time.

Jarla.

Yeah, you're right, you got it, Jarla now, Jarla, where are you coming to us from?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sona had by far the best pronunciation right there.

Yeah, I wonder why.

I think she, I think that was gas. To be honest with you, Jarla, I think she burped, because when she burps, it's always been Jarla, Jarla.

There's like a r right or jarla.

I think the guttural R is the hardest part. Okay, we have five seconds left of time to talk to you because we fucking wasted so much time on pronunciation.

And we're out of time. Of your goddamn name. I started giving compliments. That's the one thing you shouldn't do in this podcast.

Hey so Charlie.

Hey Chuck. Right. hey Chuck.

Where are you from? Where are you talking to us from?

I'm from Bergen in Norway, so the far western part of the country.

Western part. So it's, yeah, I have been to.-.

It's like a coastal city.

Okay, I have been to Oslo because I performed several years ago at the Peace Prize concert, I was the MC, the master of ceremonies. You probably read all about that because I bet it was a big deal.

One yes, Conan, be honest.

100 be honest, be honest. Did you have any idea?

It was in the streets, people wouldn't shut up, I couldn't go to the store, there were posters.

I came to Oslo and gave a major performance. And I would think that even in Bergen, which I know is the West, are you pretty snotty about Oslo? Like, we're in the West? We don't care if Conan goes to Oslo, he didn't come to Bergen.

Yeah, we're just pissed that you didn't go to Bergen, I went to Oslo, like, ooh, the biggest city in Norway.

Okay, all right. well, I tried to get out of your way, but I couldn't find a reindeer to rent, so you'll have to excuse me now.

Next time?

Yeah, next time tell us a little bit about yourself. You seem like a nice, cool chap. What are you up to tell us about your life?

So I'm a developer, so I work for. I just finished my master thesis in software engineering.

So you're a musician?

Yeah, I make Norwegian pop like funk music with my cousin.

Wait, do you have a group?

Yeah, we have a group called Eder, which is like, kind of a joke-ish, like we make good music. But like, the essence of the music is kind of almost like, like lonely island vibes, if you know what I mean.

It's kind of satirical, silly.

Kind of.

And what's the group called again?

We do have bangers, though. Yeah, check us out.

Okay.

Get your name out there. What's it called, Eder?

Eder Yeah, e-d-a.

What does that mean?

So that actually, it actually originated as a joke. Because that, in our dialect, if I like, were to talk Norwegian and I would say Eder, that would mean that would be translated to. Is it? So? Our joke was like, if that's the name, every song title is a question.

Oh, I see, is it really?

Is it some party in here?

Right?

Well, that's a good question. We came up with that joke before we started making music.

Well, first of all, to be honest with you, Arla, most parties I attend, that's one of my first questions is, is it a party in here? You know? Oh, is it so?

I will be honest, though, I would love to make that type of music too, but no, that's more like, way more upbeat party music. We play a lot of like, our dialect being from like Bergen and stuff, because we do sound like a bunch of like. If you have the Norwegian stereotype of how we sound like the hard core, that's how we talk regularly, so we like, we play a lot of that. I'm like the energetic one, while he's the pretty one, I guess.

Well, you're pretty good looking, I mean, you must be a real stunner, yeah.

I want to say, Arla, I was, I've got a thing for you already. You're, you're. I think you're a dreamy fella. I can't imagine how good looking. What's the other guy's name?

Christian Way easier to pronounce, yeah, yeah.

I see why he gets all the attention because you can say his name.

That's why I'm trying to go for Charlie Conan. You see the goddamn problem here.

All right, let's watch the language. This is a children's podcast.

Oh, crap, sorry.

So basically, this is are you a Norwegian rap duo, is that fair to say?

Yeah, that's perfect.

Can you give me a sampling of Norwegian rap just so I can hear it? Can you rap in Norwegian for me?

Okay, check it.

Check it.

Don't try to.

Hey.

I heard Tolkien.

Oh, shit, I forgot that was.

Yeah, damn it.

It's a children's podcast. I forgot. No, no, no, that's okay.

The children left hours ago. Wow, I like that.

Oh, no, no, you should try it. you gotta sing it. No, I can't sing that. sure, you can. sure, you can. what?

Gruden Struden, Eibelshuss, Eichen, Sotrek, Rigen, Kaksko, Tolkien, Eiston, Dadruden, Dadjibuten, Senda, Shidlak, Lukdaka, Sutten, Rabbad, Vodka, Katasita, Reindeer, Kamonota, Vulta, Statar, Korskan, Kova, Evrybadi, Lota.

Oh my God, is that it? That's like Dr. Frankenstein's assistant got stuck in the like voltage meter.

We're getting into Falco a little bit. Remember Falco, Amadeus, Amadeus?

I'm already telling you we're sampling that and playing that out for somebody to try Norwegian and, like, putting it in our nexts.

I would be honored to. I want to be a hit on the Norwegian pop charts. Is that a possibility?

That is an above 0 possibility.

Mid-zeros, you heard him beatboxing too, right? It's tragic when he tries to do anything cool.

I think Zoom has some kind of like safety feature because it all got muted out on the way over here. Luckily so I was spared.

Yeah, Zoom does have a function in there, a special program that prevents me from being a total idiot.

Extreme White Boy filter.

So you're half, what do you dress like? Okay, I'm trying to visual, I've got a sense of what you sound like. How are you dressed when you're performing in ETTa?

Well, so we kind of have like a color scheme going where I'm like, yellow, just, I guess it's an energetic color and he's purple. So I often have like, either like, completely like one of those colors, or like, you know, wear something of that color. But I like a lot of, like, loose jackets, like a lot of loose clothes.

Right?

But I want to, like, totally get the like hazmat suits from Breaking Bad. I basically just wear that for performing live.

Sure, yeah, and while you're at it, you might as well make some meth, yeah, while you're up there.

It's not a profitable business. CONan So, you know, we got to make some money.

Well, they said, meth wasn't a profitable business. And I was about to correct you. Sona and Gourley have done quite well with their Pasadena operation.

Love making meth.

So I see you consuming a lot of liquids.

Yeah, there's like an energy drink and then some pepsi, clear what's going on there? Yeah, what are you doing? Different bottles.

I'm a thirsty boy. What can I say, guys like, I like my water?

Speaking of which, there is a.

Which is why I have it in a entire bottle.

I've spent some time, as I said, in Oslo, and I know the word didn't leak out west to Bergen, but man was i a hit toast to the town. They gave me my own peace prize.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, they did for what I thought it was a peace prize, and then it turned out it was a mint on my pillow.

The Gemini Prize for being quiet.

The mint and I did do it and it was delicious.

100 like even when we so, for example, like a good example, when I started studying, I studied like computers, coding. I thought it would just be like, because I'm pretty social.

That's incredible. So as an enticement to get young people to work for you. Companies there offer you free liquor, and you go and you party the night away.

Yeah, free liquor and free sushi or pizza or whatever. It was great coding.

Can I come?

Yeah.

100%.

Like, do they check what if I just can I just lie and say that I code stuff?

Yeah.

Questions Oh, okay.

They don't ask a lot of questions, I bet, and also you seem Norwegian.

You heard her, yeah, a lot of pronunciation, yeah, she's already like,....

When I first met Selma, I said, I swear to God, I met the most wonderful Norwegian woman today.

Yeah.

What do you drink there? I was in Finland once years ago and they kept offering me. KORSGEnKOVA I know I'm pronouncing it incorrectly, but what do you want? And that was like, jet fuel, I mean, jet fuel.

So Norway, I think a lot of people, well, I myself, I drink a lot of gin and I drink a lot of beer, and that's mostly what I do.

Right?

Do you drink the gin straight, or how do you take it?

Oh, I'm mostly a fan of like gin and tonic. Oh, I love a good gin and tonic. Yeah, we do have a lot of like Norwegian, like I think I think the world, like the world competition or whatever for gin like a Norwegian one one, oh.

Haga hågen, Haga hågen.

Haga hågen, haga hågen, Oh, haga hågen.

Not Hågen Hågen, right?

Haga Hågen, Hågen, Yeah, haga hågen.

Haga hågen, Oh God, haga hågen, haga hågen.

That's perfect.

Haga Hågen.

The one thing I will give props to Oslo is like their dialect is actually kind of easy to pronounce. Like, I'm from Bergen, so all they are so like, like, like down here.

Yeah, Chewbacca was from Bergen in Norway, dude, that's a little known fact.

You almost called him Chewbutka, I did not.

That's the porn version I know I've seen it three times. Here comes Chewbutka.

How nice would it be if we did this podcast? And we just had a little pitcher of gin and tonics that we could just take from while we were?

Yeah, or we watched porn.

Well, yeah, yeah.

Wookie porn.

Yeah, well, it's called Star horse. Okay, okay, but my question? Well, first of all, we did that.

Because she knows how to live life, yeah, like our friend Jarl.

It's Jarl, say it one more time for me, please.

This sounds like this is like a spelling bee.

You should never have to clear your throat to say your own name.

Jarl.

Jarl.

Jarl.

Jarl.

Jarl.

Jarl, Jarl, Jarl, Jarl, Jarl.

Because you guys don't know how to gurgle. It's a part of an Armenian.

I know how to. No, it's not a.

It's a.

It's a.

I can't do that.

I can't do that like, I'm not sure if it's called cat calling, but I can't do that sound like properly. I can do like, a, that's okay.

That's okay, you don't need to learn how to do that.

This is how your name is really supposed to be pronounced, Jarl, that's how.

There's a whole spectrum of chewbacca to predator, and you can go from one end to the other.

Incredible, you know what? I love, what I talk to people from all over the world to try and make a real, meaningful connection. And Gorley says, Fuck that. We're talking about what I wanna talk about James Bond or Star Wars or Predator. You brought up Chewbacca, You did that. No, I didn't. you brought him up, and I said I repeated his name.

And technically, you just brought up James Bond.

Okay, he's never been to Norway, ever in any of the films. That's not true. he's there briefly.

He was there in no time to die.

Who's the biggest star from Norway?

Oh.

Oh, Nicolas Coster-Waldau.

Coster-Waldau.

No, he's from Denmark, that's what I thought.

Thanks a lot, Gorley.

I think that's snape.

Big ass, who does he play?

He's that red-headed guy.

The Red-head?

Oh, I love that guy, the red-headed one, the one who was in love with Bri-.

Ygritte.

Brienne.

No, Brienne.

Brienne Yeah.

You just, you've immediately here's your thing, you're the guy.

First of all.

You just immediately shout out wrong information constantly.

It's fun, it's like a game.

Yeah, but it's, you know, what island are you from? Edison Thomas Edison, what?

Ygritte.

Ygritte.

Yeah, he's great.

He's your biggest star as what are you drinking now? This is your fifth? Oh my God, what? This is your fifth drink.

How many vessels do you have?

You have had an energy drink you're drinking from a large, clear bottle, and you just took what looks like some kind of coffee drink. And they're all in different glasses. How many?

I have like a taco tray over here with just rotating drinks, like, Ooh, what am I trying now?

Let me ask you a question, Jarl, Yeah, how would I fit in in Norway? if I came out to Bergen? how would I be? First of all? What would you and I do together?

So, first of all, you would fit in perfectly, Conan, your complexion is 100 like, you know, would fit in here. And you wouldn't even need, like, a, like, a safety vest on the roads, because it's pretty dark here, right? But you could just like, flash your arm.

For how pale I am.

That's pretty good.

That's how pale I am, that's pretty good. Yeah, a guy from Bergen, Norway, is having a laugh at my lack of melanin. But what would we do? Okay, I'm there with you.

So, and we are in Bergen here, I should mention like, we're not on Oslo.

Right, right, screw Oslo.

We have a lot of so, first of all, we have a ton of like, great musicians from and in Bergen. So I would definitely want to bring you to a live show and it would also be perfect. I have, like the body build of a cricket, so I could, like, sit on your shoulders and actually be able to see anything.

Oh, you're a small gentleman, is what you're saying.

I am a small gentleman.

Okay, you, basically the main advantage you see of me coming and visiting you in Norway is that you could sit on my shoulders at a concert. You're a platform, I'm a ladder, I'm a goddamn ladder.

You're a famous person and he just wants to use you for ice.

You don't even get to face the stage, I don't even get.

Right, you want me facing the other way?

Which would be his lap.

Yeah, which means that my face is in your crotch.

And his thighs are covering your ears, you can't see or hear anything.

Right, right, that's what you want. And by the way, I'm not saying no, because I'm realizing, you know, whatever.

Yeah, sure.

I'm down with that.

He's not even asking if you could swing VIP tickets, he just wants to use you for height.

You want to use my height and sit on me like an inert object?

Yeah.

And also do the wrong way, too. No, but seriously, though, Conan? We have a lot of ton of great beer over here, which is like, native to Norway, because she used like, native resources and shit. So, oh, goddamn, a children's podcast anyways, we'll go grab a goddamn beer. But we would, I guess, hit the local attractions.

Right, so I'm a good platform.

Yeah, and that's like, order.

And would I get to come check out one of your shows?

Dude 100%.

Yeah.

You could also be like it would also be there, your height would also work as like, You know, come over here, you know the guys at the airport doing this.

I'm not one of those balloons in front of a used car store that whips around. I'm a human being. So stop saying, oh, it's good because people would see you. Oh, you got all blurry. I thought I'd been, maybe I've been drinking.

I think my camera started crying because it felt upset by me making fun of you. I'm so sorry, Conan.

No one's sorry, you're not sorry.

I put my conscious into a camera.

How do you think my fake Norwegian rap would go over in Norway?

Be honest, I think people would, absolutely, just because we're already. I'm not sure if you guys could pick that up. I'm already pretty inaudible, and I'm even worse when I'm speaking Norwegian. So I think, like your like intelligibility would probably match mine when performing live, Oh.

So no one, they wouldn't get offended.

No, I don't know, dude, people love it, I don't know.

Hey, thanks for the reassurance. No, I said, no, okay.

Like, people like in Norway don't love like, I love people making fun of Norwegians. Every time I see that, I'm like, that's fucking perfect. So if anybody were to come on stage and like with like Gusto and Moxie, just perform in Norwegian by with their soul, people will just like flip out.

Okay, so you think they'd be okay with it? They wouldn't get mad? Cause when I make fun of Norwegians in Minneapolis, they get angry, but I've been struck several times.

I don't know.

Okay, I don't know.

We love it over here, at least I can speak for the Minneapolisians.

Oh, please, no.

Minneapolisians, Minneapolisians.

No, I'm not going to answer anymore because I'm afraid I'm going to get it wrong.

Oh, I don't think you're afraid you're going to get it wrong at all.

Then the answer is Minneapolis.

Is that true?

No Minneapolisians, is it?

I have no idea.

Minneapolisians.

Ygritte, Ygritte.

Ygritte.

Jon Snow.

Neil Patrick Harris.

Hey, that was a good random one, yeah.

It's on YouTube, although I will warn you that, like, we're, because our name is just three letters, and we're like, a relatively small group. For Norway, you're 100 going to get Ed Sheeran popping up. We still have a problem with that.

E-d-a.

Just the e-D, right?

Oh well.

So they're like, Oh, you didn't mean to write a, you meant to write a space? And then Ed Sheeran, right? I'm like, No goddammit.

I think Ed Sheeran calls himself Ed Sheeran, just to fuck with you guys, yeah.

I honestly do, yeah, dude.

He was in Game of Thrones.

People weren't happy.

Dude full circle, Yeah, got it great podcast.

JARla, Thank you so much for reaching out to us. Have you? do you listen to the podcast? Is that how you know of us?

Yeah, 100. And I'll also be honest, I completely forgot that I like, submitted a thing and then I wrote what I like. I read what I wrote. And I was like, How did you guys say yes to this?

Well, we, but thank you, we actually, yeah, this has been awesome. We only we didn't.

We actually, we put in Ed Sheeran and you came in.

Yeah, exactly.

Right on, Oh goddammit, one day I'll hunt him down.

Well, you don't have to. He's so easy to spot.

He also takes away in the Game of Thrones. He takes the Redhead attention away from the Norwegian guy there, too, so you guys see, he's just like out there to steal, like the Norwegian's attention.

So, are all Norwegians angry at Ed Sheeran or is it just you?

I think like 95 give or take.

95 are angry at Ed Sheeran. Well, I gotta. I'm gonna see if I can fix that problem as well. It's my job to bring people together, you know, I see that.

Wait, is that my job? No.

No, no, your job. I'm not sure what your job is.

Sort of spout stuff and hope something lands. Yeah, I think that's it. Well, Jarla.

No, you didn't.

Well, you, let's hear you do it.

Jarla, right.

That is still the best guys, I have to say, Jarla, Jarla, Jarla, Jarla, Jarla, Jarla, Jarla.

You know what you have to do. It helps to imagine swallowing a clam. Jarla, jarla, jarla, jarla, jarla.

I also like the chewbacca idea, jarla.

Yeah, Jarla, I'm going to let you go before I completely lose it on the people in the studio. Who's he talking about?

Oh, we're so scared.

Yeah, oh my god.

Oh, what do you see these meat hooks?

Oh my god.

But it was nice, it was really nice talking to you. And please give my best to everyone in Bergen, Norway and tell those snobs in Oslo they can suck it okay. Champions Pirates.

We do it every day.

All right.

Let me know if you guys are over here and I'll grab a beer with you.

You'll find out the word will get out.

At UCI's platform.

Bye, Jarla.

Take care, guys.

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