The Life Of Reilly

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Hi Riley, you've caught us at a bad time. This is Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Hi Riley, how are you?

Hi guys Keora, I'm very good. How are you guys?

We're doing well, Riley. First of all, in the order of business. Where are you right now?

I am in the south island of New Zealand, in a little town called Hokitika.

Hokitika Okay, have you heard of that? Yeah, sure, no.

In South New Zealand.

In South New Zealand.

The South Island of New Zealand Oh, I see, yeah, I was in the North Island for a while, but we moved to the South Island and it's like a different country. It's absolutely amazing.

Are you in Hobbit country?

It is Hobbit country, yeah, so the majority of Lord of the Rings was filmed in the South Island.

Now I know where you are, okay? I mean, that's extraordinary. I know that Peter Jackson shot the movies in New Zealand, but that's incredible. Countryside where you live, just beautiful.

It is so beautiful and I basically live in a hobbit house. I live in a container house, which is 40 feet and I'm quite hairy. So you could call me Friday Baggins if you'd like.

Wait a minute, Riley, let's back up the bus. Just a second. You said, you live in a container house. What's a container house?

So it's a container, a 40 foot container, like a shipping container, that's been converted very slightly. It's quite rough into a house, so we all live in like one bedroom, we poop into a bucket, wait a minute.

Who's we all? Who's we all?

The Poop Club.

Well, it's myself, my beautiful wife. We've married eight years today.

I'm not going to celebrate this marriage until I find out a little more, fair enough.

Fair enough.

I'm not going to, Yay, you're in a shipping container, dude.

40 feet by what? yeah, 40 feet, it's small, it's small.

No, I'm sorry. Your world is a shipping container, that's what your world is, Riley.

I've got a wife that's real understanding. I'm six foot three, 280 pounds, I can fit in this house. There's a doorway that I'm getting a little chubby around my tummy at the moment.

So it's motivation for me to keep slim. The toilet is a bucket.

It's a beautiful bucket, though.

I'm sorry.

It's my favorite color, Conan.

You sold me, yeah.

Does it flush and have plumbing?

Or is it just no, okay, it doesn't, it's a compostable toilet.

Wow, maybe the nicest offer I've had in many a year. If you'd like to join me in my small box, you can eat from our shit, says Riley. Riley. I'm sorry. Is the bucket? I hate to get too graphic, but is the bucket inside the shipping container? it is?

Yeah.

It's the high life now. I'm depressing him, I know. Did you not realize?

It's the high life.

Is there a separated room?

There is a little room divider for the it is a little room, yes, there is a little, so what we've got is there's a little so. There's a bucket, there's a toilet seat. And then there is a hole that has a fan on it. That blows all the bad air out. So it's not that bad, it's not the worst thing in the world.

And like I said, well, no, it's not having acid put into your empty eye socket. You're right, it's not the worst thing in the world. It's fine, though, but it's right next to it. Because I have a list here of the worst things in the world. And acid in the eye socket is, you're right. Is one worse than poop bucket in a container in a very hot environment?

She's Scottish, so she's very frugal, so she wants to save money.

She's Scottish, so she's used to living in a shitty environment.

That's awful. She saves money on power and water and fertilizer, so those three things are saved. So she's very, very happy. I mean, last time I spoke to her about it, she was happy about it. But eight years marriage, I must be doing something right.

Yes, I don't mean to, and I'm just going to say this shit on your life in any way, because you seem like a happy person. And I'm sure it's a nice situation. But I just think having all these, it sounds like you have a lot of animals too, in addition to children, and it's a very confined space. So do you ask, do people take turns using the house and then other people go outside?

It basically, we used to be a very close family. We stayed in a bigger house for a little while and I always thought we didn't communicate as much as we did. If we're in each other's face now, it's a little bit, you know, we do have to rub shoulders with each other quite regularly.

Oh, Riley, you are going to have issues.

Where are they now? I imagine they're just right off screen.

Yeah.

I'm actually in my little camper van outside the front of my house, so it's a little crappy camper van and they're inside. I've banished them to the container.

Oh, so, you're not in the container right now.

No, no, and we also got a house bus down. We've got five acres, so we're just two and a half hectares, so we've got a house bus on the property. That you will stay in when you come, Conan and Sona and Matt, it's beautiful.

Oh, so, I don't have to bring a bucket. I love that because whenever I put my shit bucket in the overhead compartment on Delta, they just they get all in my face.

I thought they would.

Excuse me, sir, I'm like, Hey, it's my shit bucket.

Yeah, you should have emptied it first before you tried to put it in the overhead bin.

I was late to get to the flight, I didn't want to miss it.

You do that every second day. It was an off day.

Yeah, it was an off day. Okay, so Riley, what do you do for a living? How does one? I mean, obviously you don't have to make a lot since your fertilizer, water and food is free, but still, what is your? what do you do?

A combination of things. So we moved down here from Auckland to live more simply, as you can tell, by where we live and we run a swim school.

You nailed that a long time ago, so you run a swim school?

We run a swim school, I teach children guitar, and I run an anime podcast called the Anime Dad Podcast, where I have one patreon. So that's bringing us $2 a month in as well.

So we've got a combination of things. Are you interested in anime? Then? I imagine.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I am, I love it, I absolutely love it.

Are you an artist? Do you create anime? Are you an artist yourself?

I do draw, yeah, for sure, a lot of different things, but no, anime is just....

I believe this is what you would like, Conan to be as a cosplay character. Is that right?

Yeah, who is that Red Riot? Yeah, that'll be, it's cool. His name is Red Riot Kirishima. What he does, his body gets hard.

Oh, you bet it does, you bet it does, and yes, you have captured me perfectly.

So he has, like, a full body erection. What do you mean? It gets hard.

He has a full body erection and that's how he fights off villains, so it's a kid's show.

Because no villain wants to go near him, every villain's like, whoa, whoa, all right dude, whatever, that's a bit much, even for me.

That's exactly you.

I do, I do, you know, take pretty good care. The old carriage, yeah.

I can see that bicep popping when you're lifting that teacup up there.

Oh man, you're not seeing half of it, dude. That's a cool character, you are talented, That's a very good drawing, that's very good.

Yeah, I'm going to say, I drew that. Yep, I did, that's great.

Oh, you didn't computer?

That's OK, I can probably draw that if you'd like me to. But you are a human embodiment of an anime character, you've got the hair, you've got the good looks.

You know, it's all proportional, Riley, It's all proportional. So, yes, normal size, but then so big that it can often appear at a quick glance.

It's great, it's great. We're surrounded by animals, we've got 70 chickens, a couple of ponies, we've got parrots.

Or do you talk to the parrots? The parrots are like, You're crazy, you're crazy, you live in a container, Riley, you're insane.

My wife is my best friend, so she's all I need. She really is. She's my best friend. She's my everything.

Well, I'd say that if it were true, too.

So that's all I need. But we do have a lot of people, most of our town is old, but most of them do think anime is a type of sushi. But they are lovely people overall.

I've not been to New Zealand and I want to go. I very much want to go. seriously, I'd like to go. A good friend of mine was in New Zealand recently for a job and said it was absolutely lovely.

You'll fit in really, really well, you'll fit in really, really well. Because they like, you know, Gandalf, and you're probably the size of Gandalf, the height of Gandalf from Lord of the Rings.

Wait, you're saying they'll like me because I'm tall, like Gandalf.

I'd say, based on your complexion, Gandalf the White, yes.

That's kind of a no-brainer.

But that's like the more ascendant one, right? Shall not pass. There you go. Yeah, that's good.

Right, I could do that. Talked to Ian McKellen many times.

You do that really, really well, you just fit in beautifully. So in New Zealand, Lord of the Rings is not all we have, but it's there.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

And then did they shoot Xena Warrior Princess there?

I think they.

Why didn't you ask about Xena?

I don't know, I kind of have a thing for her.

Okay, but she's not there anymore.

She's one of those 90s crushes, you know?

Oh, okay, but I don't think she's there anymore.

She's in the container, actually, oh.

What?

Yeah.

She's in the con.

There are, yeah, so my town of Hokitika, that's where we run the swim school. We run it in a pool, not in a lake or the ocean. So there's a pool there in town. And it is, yeah, a bunch of lovely people.

Is there a movie theater in town? Is there a movie theater in town?

There is, and it's a lovely old theater that's got someone jumps on a pedal bike to start the projector. No, it's an old theater and it's....

Have a little fun with me.

It's like an old.

What about medical? If there's a medical emergency, do you have to be flown to another island? I'm just trying to find out how rural this is.

Medical emergency There's a hospital half an hour away, so as long as you've got half an hour to spare in your medical emergency, you're not going to die. So a hospital half an hour away? We're actually going to a place called Christchurch today for a bit of a weekend getaway for our anniversary.

You'd better after eating McDonald's.

Yeah, I remember when it was my anniversary and I told my wife, I'm taking you to McDonald's. Didn't go over, didn't really go over.

My bar is really low.

No, but that's what the genius of what you're doing, Riley, is that by living in this container, it's incredible. When you say we're going to go out and get a eat a McNugget, everybody just lights up, it's fantastic.

They do, there's not much, literally I could say to my daughter. They go into the house that we're staying at, they flush the toilet and they can stay there for two or three hours, just having fun flushing a toilet.

It's fascinating. They must really flip out when they. I mean, imagine if watching a toilet flush is exciting, then you get to go see a movie. Wow, that's incredible.

That's pretty cool.

You're like, Wow, I'll see you top that toilet flush. I just made you know what I mean, It's incredible, yeah.

It's one step above. Yeah, toilet flush and then movie. But Conan, are you an anime watcher? I heard, because you look like an anime character. I suspect you watch a couple of Pokemon.

I've watched some Studio Ghibli. Does that count? I've been watching some Studio Ghibli. Because my daughter's a big fan of anime and Studio Ghibli, and she's been showing me these different movies and I love it.

I've been watching a lot of that with my daughter.

Yeah, they're terrific, they're so beautifully made hand, I think drawn by hand, they're really gorgeous.

They are gorgeous, for sure. You sound skeptical?

What was that? You sounded like a doctor that just looked at my chart.

She would like Pokemon as well. I interviewed the voice actor for Ash Ketchum for Pokemon. She's a woman.

Name Dropper.

My best friend is.

You're insufferable, Riley. now you've gone totally Hollywood on me. Sure, I know some people too, Riley.

He flushes one toilet, this guy.

I get excited talking to people. Riley, I have a question.

I have a question, How do you even know about us? You're living out in the wilds. Are you a regular listener of the podcast? Do you listen through like a coconut?

I've got to wind up radio. No, I listen. I watched you on TV when you were a little bit younger.

That's why you fled civilization.

He can't find me out here.

Do you listen to the podcast at all?

I love the podcast. Sona Matt, you guys are incredible. Conan, you're the kingpin. You guys work together so beautifully and so well. You make my day and make me smile every single day.

No, don't. It would just make me feel bad about the way I sound. Riley, listen to me. I'm proud of you. I'm going to say this because you have gone out into an extreme situation.

I think it's cool. Are you living off your land, too, like you pick all your food and you kill your animals?

Oh, I kill them, I kill them for fun. No, I do kill them regularly, you don't even eat them.

I don't eat them. You massacre chickens and then bury them in a mass grave.

I like to watch them suffer, no, I regularly....

You pull pot to chickens.

I eat my chickens, I eat my goats, I go out hunting. there's deer in the bush and I go out hunting for those things.

You don't have to keep bringing that up. don't bring that up when people are eating either. Hey, that's from my feces, you don't want to bring that up. Not at the table.

Okay, good point, but no, we are self-sufficient in many ways. We're solar powered, so we're powered by the sun, which is challenging. In a small town that has not much sunshine, there's a little bit of rain here now and again.

Oh good, that won't make you any enemies. Hey, I don't know if you get the news much where you are, Riley, but you might want to ease up.

That would be my angle.

Did he say Pokemon?

He certainly did, he said. Pokemon.

That's Pokemon, oh my god.

I've heard it both ways. I've heard it both ways. No, you haven't, Riley.

Thanks Riley, thanks for covering. Oh, and don't act like you've never heard someone say Pokemon. I was born in Alabama.

How do you think Pokemon is about? Pokemon meant pokewoman, and they made Pokemon.

Exactly, thank you. you're welcome. Finally. Listen, Riley. it was wonderful talking to you.

Okay, that's great, I'll make the bed for you now. But yeah, it's been a real privilege. You guys are incredible at what you do. I love you with all my heart.

One, two, three. I love you, Riley.

That's made my anniversary.

Thank you very much for that. Well, we haven't had the quarter pounder with cheese yet. That's for the tenure friend.

That's for the tenure.

Today, it's just fries and a diet. COKE All right, Riley, you take care.

Bye-bye, thank you so much, bye guys.

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