Disrespectfully - Say it With Your Whole Chest | Episode 14
2024-04-10 01:17:23
Welcome to "Disrespectfully," hosted by Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan. These two besties have been through their fair share of life experiences. The good, the bad, and the unhinged. In Disrespectfully, they build off those lessons to discuss being unapologetically yourself, getting it wrong, career, mental health, relationships, sex, and whatever else they feel like. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably crack a bottle of wine- join Katie and Dayna as they share new episodes Wednesday’s wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure to email us problems, questions, or anything you need advice on at [email protected] and we shall answer them on the pod!
Girl meets boy, Boy's got a big d**k. Boy is well endowed on the internet. girl is nosy, girl watches all of boy's content, girl has dreams, boy slides into DMS. You guys, Earth master slid into my DMS. Welcome to disrespectfully with Katie, Maloney and Dana.
CATHAN Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do. Spilling the tea, babe, you're gonna see the power of women, like, disrespectfully.
Official, He is just the loveliest guy. The best part is is that he asked you to tell him about your dream. He did ask me to tell him about my dream. Did you tell him all the details?
We were like DMing, and I was like, this stays between us consenting adults, and he was like, Yes, cool, like you as well, blah, blah, blah. But then, to be fair, I did ask him if I. First of all, he's very lovely. He listened to our episode and I was kind of horrified and was like, I need to listen to it back. Because I feel like I black out when I'm here, like, who knows what I say? But he was tickled pink.
He thinks we're very funny and he was flattered and loved the conversation, so that's kind of how it started. And he was just curious about my dream, so I told him more detail than I will tell all of you. But we also were just chitchatting back and forth and he really just does seem like the nicest, down-to-earth person. And then both of us separately talked to your friend that knows him, and she kind of backed all that up. And I love her too, she's great. Shout out to Christina, Christina, we love you.
She was also because he told her that we were talking about it. I know I meant to tell her, like, Hey, by the way.
I kind of shared what you told me. Sorry, I didn't give you a heads up. I just kind of spaced that.
I'm real excited for you and the Girth master. Look, the Girth Master. It was being so sweet. He was like, we're so romantic in Italy, and I was like, we are romantic in Italy. And so now he's like, you know, maybe we'll be eloping there, so we'll see, but I, or maybe you should.
Just go to Italy and like, live out your dream. We have options. But again, I mean, I think your.
Friend's a champion. I still have my doubts, but more than I truly want to be his friend, like, he just seems like such a down-to-earth, wonderful person. And I have so many questions. So we are putting it into the universe. He's here for a month and basically he was like, we'd love to connect, but I'm busy. Are you coming to Australia anytime soon?
I was like, Am I going to Australia? and no, I don't have any plans on the calendar, but I'd love to. But we would like him to be the first official guest of Disrespectfully.
Let's make it happen. It's possible that we're going to put this in the universe.
And it'll flop, but sometimes you have to risk your business. He's going to be here for a month.
And he's not going to carve out a little time for you, I mean, he's a busy guy, I'm sure.
Did he ask you to hang out? Well? He said he would like to, but he doesn't have time here. So he was like, Are you going to be in Australia soon? I'm going to Italy or Europe this summer. He's here now. I know I thought that too, but I'm not going to press him.
I don't know. Look, I'm sure his girthy schedule is all booked up. I get it okay, sure, he has lots of girthy engagements. But yeah, I'm like, please make two hours for me. But instead of showing you around town, I'm going to show you the studio, and we'd like you to be a guest instead of showing me.
Around town, show me some of that, just kidding. Well, also because we were going back and forth.
In comments. And I was like, kind of, you know? And then he followed me on Instagram and I was like, Is he going to slide in my DMS? Then he never did, so. I was like, Oh, okay. And then I saw his DM yesterday and smiled from ear to ear and immediately sent it to you because I was so excited. Oh my, I mean, we are the Coven, we are the witches, so we have powerful minds.
And sometimes I forget that you do have a powerful mind. Because on Monday, oh, no.
Can we talk about it? I didn't want to, but then Joe's story requires a conversation. Well.
We could share our time and touch on it. Yeah, okay. So Dana and I went to IHeart Radio Music Award and it was on Monday and it was a really good time. But we had a feeling that we were going to run into someone we once knew, just because she'd been to these events in the past. We're talking about Rachel Levis. And I was like, you know what, there's going to be so many people there.
Maybe we might see her from across the room, who knows? But I'm not going to put that.
Out there, but you did. I was like, No, we're going to see her and there'll be an interaction. So we get in line for the carpet and I turn around and she's getting out of her car. I mean, we're feet away from each other and I just look at Katie and I was like, Rachel's right there.
And it's like, of course, she looks so visibly uncomfortable. I'm like, I'm just standing here, I'm really not paying you any attention or mind. I'm just waiting to go get my picture taken so I can go inside and get a drink.
I'm not trying to make a situation happen here. But she just was really trying to not make eye contact, she was trying to skip the line, she was trying to get away from us. And I'm like, Man, I don't care. And it might seem that way because I'm sitting here talking about it right now. I get it, but I got to talk about it.
Because it happened, well, the thing is, we truly were just existing. We're not trying to make anyone feel uncomfortable. We were not going to interact with her, obviously, with nothing to say. I'm sure she would not want to see us. And I'm sure we're going to get a cease and desist letter for existing soon.
I'm sure she's going to sue us for existing, but that was a little uncomfy, but it is what it is. I was thinking about this because people are like, move on, it's been so long, whatever. I'm like, No, I get that for the rest of the world. But she's someone who hurt one of the most important people in my life and so I'm never going to forget that or move on. It doesn't mean I want to have any....
And continues to do so, yeah, continues to do so. It's a bit.
Hard to just completely move on from it and pretend that she doesn't exist because she's out here running her mouth, yeah.
That's happening, no, that's definitely part of it, but we got.
Through that little hiccup, but then I heart was so fun. I'm so glad we went. It was a combination of arguably every powerhouse I'd ever want to see in a room. It was insane. Meryl Streep was there.
On one stage, Meryl Streep, Cher, Jennifer Hudson, Just Think about it, Cher performing.
Do you believe?
I almost collapsed. I didn't even know that. I needed to see Cher live in my life before that, and now I'm like, I need to go to a full Cher concert. I need more immediately. And she looks amazing, she looks the same as she did in Burlesque.
Props to her, her doctors, sign me up, who is doing your work? You look great. But she was talking about how she had.
These pants on that were.
I know what you're thinking. Do I only have one pair of pants? She's like, I've had these for 40 years.
I'm like, I'm not even 40 years old yet.
Close, but.
I have pairs of pants that don't fit the same way from six months ago. Thank you.
That's what I was just thinking. I was like, hold on, I can't even fit in the same pair of pants from last year. Well, that's not true. But how, anyway? But do you know what I love the most about it?
Because I've been to other award shows and it's like, you got to sit there, they got to name all the nominees. And then you might get a couple performances sprinkled in. But what I loved is that everyone that performed was the winner of their category, so there was just performance after performance. They get their award, they're like, Thanks everyone, and then on to the next.
So it was like a concert, essentially just of all these different musical acts from different genres like jelly roll and then TLC. Justin Timberlake Green Day So you were just getting just hit after hit. Green Day had two songs, we were obviously.
Geeking out about that, too. I was just like, I mean, it felt like I made up this event in my brain and then it executed. Obviously what I was most excited about. Besides a couple performances, Beyonce was there, accepting the Innovator Award from Stevie Wonder. Of all people, what?
Also, he played harmonica on. I can't remember what song it is now. But I didn't even know that until she said it when she was talking to him. I'm like, of course, because they're both brilliant artists. But last time I saw her was at the Renaissance Tour in September. And me and Logan, and Ariana, and Raleigh, and our other friend Ariana, who also avid listener to the show. So shout out Ari. We were front row and I've seen her like six times in concerts, so that was the closest I'd ever been. But we had great seats. She looked amazing, and even to just hear her speak for a few minutes, I was like screaming under my breath and grabbing Katie's arm.
You're probably bruised from the amount of time I grabbed her arm.
Yeah, after every sentence she spoke, you were like, woo woo, you were a full-on woo girl.
Oh, the people around us hated us.
I was like, Dana.
I don't care, I don't care.
I know, I know I get it, I just let you do your thing.
You let me be me, which was great. But Meryl I almost fangirl out about as much. Oh my gosh, who doesn't love Meryl Streep? I love Meryl. My dearly departed mother was a huge Meryl Streep fan. So I'm like, she would just, I mean, well, you know, she's gone, but she would just die and die again, and she would laugh at that joke. So fucking relax if you're being precious about it at home. But yeah, I was so happy to see that icon and the fact that they're still good friends.
By the way, fun fact you cannot find silkwood anywhere.
Yeah, we tried to, but we got home.
We got home, me and Katie got wine, we got dinner, martinis, then wine. And we're whole wasted doing our skincare routine and then looking for silkwood and we couldn't find it. So if anyone knows where we can stream that, let me know. But we could not find it.
We're going to circle back to that. But I was going to say, I have met Stevie Wonder before. Where okay? At Sur? They had his daughter's birthday party there. What year was this?
God, it had to have been 2011, maybe 2010, 2011, because I was one of the few people at SUR that would work lunch shifts, so it was a daytime thing. And they rented out the space, or they wanted the whole space for his daughter's birthday, so he came in and he was as wonderful as Stevie Wonder, being wonderful, yeah.
Was this before the show started?
Yeah, oh yeah.
Oh my god, what an incredible celeb interaction and he was just the sweetest. Yeah, I bet he's such a lovely guy.
Family wonderful, everyone was wonderful, so I feel fortunate.
Yeah, that's what I mean. Amazing. And so him and Meryl. There were people that I just didn't even expect to see there that we did. And also, to your point, I too loved. Like it was two hours, which was the perfect amount of time, it wasn't like this long drawn-out thing.
We stayed for an hour and 40 minutes.
The second Beyonce walked off, I was like, I got to pee, let's go.
We were hungry, my feet hurt. I'm not really fully built for those types of events. Because I as much as I love putting on a dress, putting on some makeup, getting done up like that. I don't wear heels often, and after about 40 minutes of that, I'm pretty done.
Oh, we were miserable the second. I'm mad that the current Gen Z all get to wear sneakers like we do to the bars and whatnot. And we were all in business attire in 2012 in six-inch platform heels. Like, that's what we were wearing out. And you guys get to wear baggy jeans and like little crop tops and sneakers. None of you have bunions and it shows, and I'm just like, I love a sneaker.
Our feet hurt immediately and we were starving because we didn't eat before, and so we were like, where the fuck can we get a meal and get out of here?
Yeah, so we bounced.
Yeah, we did that. But speaking of dresses, this is why I'm circling back to even mentioning I thought it was relevant to mention the Rachel thing, which we discussed. Not even doing so. Jo, who some of you may know from Vanderpump Rules. I got tagged in it and I sent it to Katie. On a TikTok, she posted this story. So this like, I don't know what the publication was, but they-.
I think it was life and style.
Life and Style posted like lists of, you know, people's photos on the red carpet.
Best and worst dress.
Best and worst dress. So Rachel was like, either one above us or a few above us. It was a screen recording, not even a screenshot. And she's like, Wow, work, I love your outfit. And then she had this like circle on Instagram stories, you know what I'm talking about? They move the little gifs or whatever. And it was down at the bottom. And she scrolled down to us, me and Katie. That got worst dressed on that list, and also we looked hot fire. I'm not worried about that. She circles it and then just holds it there. And then her next story is a photo of her from the reunion. Tagging her stylist, you know, because Jo is internationally known for her style choices.
The Tomtom hat. What do you have to say about that? Katie? Not much. I saw that I was like, Ugh, I'm going back to bed, like, I see that. I'm just like, that's all you have to say.
Like, I feel like you could have done better. Yeah, like, if you're gonna, if you're gonna try to shade, that's not very good.
I'm not surprised you went back to bed because it was boring to me. But what bothered me about it is I just don't have a passive-aggressive bone in my body, nor do you. So, if you want to shade something, tag us.
At me, tag us girly pup at me. You don't have to do all that, say it with your whole fucking chest.
Say it with your whole chest, ten toes down, tag us and be like, Hey, you guys looked like shit. Even this magazine says so.
You don't just hover over where it says worst and then scroll away.
It's like, that's just how I picture her. I mean, the way I've physically seen her move in the world. She's like, like creature, that's how she is. So that story was a manifestation of, I think, who she is as a person.
It's also just kind of like, I've acknowledged that, you know, when I came for her on the internet. I was in a very different place in, you know, my life. And I was going through a very difficult time in transitioning from, you know, my divorce and everything like that. So I was just in a different place. I wouldn't respond or post those things or say those things now. And you know, I've watched like the season. And you know, I felt, you know, bad for what she went through. Like, with, you know, like, I've acknowledged those certain things. So it's like, it's weird that, like, she's now choosing to kind of, like, have this weird, sort of, I don't know, it's odd to me.
Well, I've never done anything to that girl. If you have something to say, you can go ahead and tag me.
Well, I can't tag her because she's blocked me.
Who knows, maybe I'm blocked too, but regardless, I'm just like, I don't know. Even if you're not going to tag, just say it really directly, just say, and by the way, lol, Do you guys see?
And these two look like shit which we don't, we look fucking the hot fire, so.
Yeah, I'm not particularly worried about it, but yeah, I just thought that was some real silly goose behavior. I was audibly cackling when I sent it to our Disrespectfully production group, I was like, you guys.
I'm sorry. How were we possibly worse dressed? I don't know how.
The comment Well, obviously, Rachel's manager wrote that or something, but.
Her publicist, her publicist that, like, talks shit in like, a comment section about me.
Yeah, probably that one.
Why would you have a messy publicist? I don't know. Listen, girl, godspeed to you.
Well, she's not very good at her job. Because she tried to get Rachel to cut the line for the carpet to avoid us, and then they just plopped her right behind us. So on whatever publication it is, it said, we're stressed. They weren't cohesive. And I'm like, what was I supposed to do? Get Katie a fucking boutonniere? This was prom. Yeah, we weren't matching.
Like, we're podcast partners, we're life partners, but we're not. That was their comment on it. But regardless, even if someone doesn't like what I'm wearing, I'm good with that. But objectively, we looked hot.
People have been hating on my style for years, and I still don't give a flying fuck, so.
Go on.
Well, you know, I really loved Jo's outfit there. Oh wait, Jo wasn't present at 900, so.
Anywho? So we will go back to my place. We're trying to find silkwood, we can't find it, so we're like, what else are we gonna watch? So we settle on Barbarian, which you've never seen, which I think is a fantastic, you know, scary horror film genre movie because it just does something different. If you haven't seen it, you gotta watch it because it starts off your typical horror movie.
Girl shows up at night pouring rain to an airbnb. But there's somebody already there, you know, and she's skeptical. At first, she sticks around. They have a little bit of chemistry and then, of course, chaos ensues, but then all of a sudden, like cuts. Sunny day in L.A. It's just in long, you know, and there's like some bit of, like, levity and comedic relief. Turns out, this Airbnb belongs to him, he's got to go back to this Airbnb, he's got to resolve some shit that he got into. But these two people that were staying in this Airbnb are still there for reasons. And then he gets dragged into it all.
And it's just it's kind of funny, it's totally out there, it's totally ridiculous, but I just like this like spin that they put on it all. But we were kind of laughing or commenting on the different tropes of scary movies about how? Whenever someone's like, they're almost free from the grips of whatever the monster, or whatever the evil is. And what do they do? They go back inside, they fucking run towards it.
They run toward it. It's like, Well, it's like in scary movie, it's like, What's her name? so hot, Carmen Electra? and it's like, death, safety, and she's like, ah, ah and goes to death.
Like, that's literally, and I mean, mind you, I think have we made a clip? We're both big scary movie people, and so I see like, there's just like no scary movie besides that one, apparently I hadn't seen. So I, like, am involved deeply in the genre.
And it's so frustrating when you can completely see where it's going and you're like, we would not die. We do great in any of these scenarios because I would just do the sensible thing. Well, I understand it's a movie, but can someone please make a scary movie in which someone does the right things? And, like, still gets fucked over? Because that would be scary to me?
Although I have no survival skills, there's no fucking way I'm running towards danger. There's a long stairway that's going down to darkness. Do you know what I'm not going to do? Run down there?
You're like, let me just get this rickety flashlight that I go, it turns it on, I go to to, and it just, and you have to smack it.
Oh, I'm just going to toss it behind me and just keep going.
If you don't have a fucking mag light, perhaps you shouldn't go down there not to be a prepper. But I'm like, you guys, you know, none of you should be doing that.
The guy's going, Help me, help me, she goes. What are you doing down there? Help me, okay?
You hear a shout in the distance, it's like, Ah, she's like, I should probably go check that out alone. You stay here, come back up here.
No, come down here.
Okay, I also have a hard time finding one that doesn't surprise me because I just like, each step of the way. You're like, Oh, they're doing this, they shouldn't be doing this, nope.
You shouldn't be doing that and they just do it and do it.
Well, this one surprised me a little bit. not, this is kind of, yeah, a little bit. Cabin in the woods, though that one surprised me.
I'm not saying it's never happened, I'm just saying it's not. But I and I will say. My favorite thing about a scary movie is when there's perfectly timed comic relief. All scary movies should have moments of that. And that was Justin Long was amazing, that was very funny.
I like him a lot, yeah.
He was great in it.
But yeah, don't ever run up, or you don't run down, you run away. But you know what, then you wouldn't have a scary movie?
That's what I'm saying. So I challenge A24 if you're out there, if you're listening, if you're a fan of us, if you're a fan of Girthmaster. I'm sure he loves scary movies, too. Please make a scary movie in which someone does all the right things and is still-.
And still in trouble, stuck in it. Well, I think maybe it follows, kind of does that a little bit, because it just you can't really get away from it. That's why it's so terrifying. It's going to find you.
That noise?
It follows is one of my favorite scary movies, I'd say.
That shit's terrifying.
That is like a perfectly executed scary movie, like fantastic concept.
Okay, so there we go.
So that's a good one. So more of that, it should take more of those, more of it follows.
More of that where it's like, they're getting away by any means possible, but you ain't getting away.
You ain't getting away.
Yeah, it's nightmare.
Well, and I'm just so I'm lit-ired all the time. I'm lit-ired, I would be-.
Well, have a nap.
10 times more exhausted? What?
E-mom's world Is that not an e-mom's world? Oh yeah.
Okay, thank you the fucking kangaroos. This whole show is now turning Australian, but only I feel like millennials will get that.
But that's you, you're turning Australian, that's true.
I still say lit-tired.
I'm lit-tired. Well, have a nap, then fire the mistletoe, then fire the mistletoe anyway.
I don't think it's A24.
The one that's coming out, where it's the perspective of the killer, the killer's dead. But then, I don't know, some people like, resurrect this person, and it's smart. He's now killing every person in its path, that's gonna be scary.
You did not respond to my text. You want to see Immaculate this weekend?
I'm not gonna be here this weekend.
Oh, you're gone, okay? Well, you still could have reminded me.
I was, I didn't respond to it because I was annoyed that you forgot.
Ugh, whatever, maybe you should share your location with me anyway.
So, Dana, what's your favorite romance, trope or fantasy?
Let me think about it, Australian.
Australian accents always do it for me.
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So we leave IHeart, we get dinner, we scare the server because we're ravenous animals, we're rabid dogs.
We also are dressed really great, contrary to what life style says.
Count your days, life style Your days are fucking numbered.
Pache We go to Pache, which is one of the best restaurants, one of my favorite restaurants in L..A. Laurel Canyon.
Delicious Italian restaurant, it's, and it's nice, but it's not like how we were dressed was not appropriate. But we get pizza, we get pasta. I think we started with something.
We got a caesar, we got a caesar, we're feasting.
The rosemary sourdough bread that I just could not get enough of, espresso martinis. We're getting hoisted, they have a little grocery store next door, we get wine.
Smart, we go home. I had like, parked at KDC, I was planning on going home and I was like, Well, guess I'm staying here. Let's do our skincare routine.
And we did, like I've talked about this before, we do this sometimes when we're tipsy, we just. And we were glowing at. And by the way, it was early, still, it was like 9 or 10, which was great because we had a lot of time for movies.
No, it was. We left at 8.
15 because I was laughing. I'm like, we would have just been getting from Pache.
Oh, from Pache. Okay, yeah, so it's early, so we're glowing.
We are comfortable, we watch Barbarian. Next step two, we're like, Okay, what's a good bedtime movie? The craft?
Where are those girls at? What's your comfort movie? The Craft?
It is, it is, it is so great but and it's like such a wonderful throwback. But we're like, giddy, because it's just everything's funny and we're drunk, and we're like, watching this movie. And then I proceed to have the most horrific nightmare.
So it wasn't like, after consuming Girth Masters content and then having, like, a dream, that was fun, I consumed this. And then I've also been rewatching Sopranos. I watched it.
Once I stopped it, I immediately started it again. I wasn't aware this wasn't normal until very recently. I just obsessively rewatch things constantly, all the time.
So I'm like, rewatching it for a second time, immediately in succession, and so my dream was about. I was at Tony and Carmella's house, and Tony was mad because Carmella kept eating cockroaches. And like snakes and bugs, and she was like hiding them. It makes me like cringe because in the movie there's, you know, the scene at the end, the big climax, where there's all the bugs everywhere and the snakes and whatever. I know that's where that came from.
So I had a horrible dream about insects being everywhere, and Carmella eating them, and me watching it, and then Tony being big mad about it.
And then Girth Master comes in and saves the day.
I wish.
You just come to be like all of the stuff you've been consuming.
My worlds collide, his snake kills all the other snakes. No, that's unfortunately not what happened. He was not my white and shining armor. Yeah, that was upsetting.
But that's what we do, like, I just prefer a scary movie pretty much at all times. I did see, not that long ago, did you see?
Talk to me.
Yeah.
Also a great execution.
Also Australian.
You know, I wasn't going to say it.
If you walk in here one day with a big roll of, like, a sleeve of Tim-tams, tim-tams.
I love those I walk in with a fucking kangaroo on a leash, I'm like, this is my kanga.
It's my Joey.
The Little Joey for you.
You walk in with a tim-tams.
Your friend was like, you should ask how you going, how you going, and he's like, she's like, Oh, he's such a chiller. I love the little phrases. Yeah, I'm like, I'll move on from this topic eventually.
Anywho? That was a very wonderful evening. Overall, I unfortunately had what I would describe as a biblical hangover, and it was the sneaky kind. The next day I was just like working, living my life, and a few hours into the day I was like 9-1-1..
Call an ambulance.
Yeah, I had what was just like this sort of like, looming feeling, you know, I had the problem.
Existential dread.
Just sort of like, on the edge of something like this. I was fine, I had to, like, go do shit, but it was like this looming. Then someone described to me as like a champagne uncle.
Huh.
I was like, that makes so much sense, think about it.
I am, what the fuck are you talking about?
Champagne uncle, it's like creepy uncle.
But why is it a champagne uncle?
I don't know, it just made sense.
I feel like if you were like, it was a mad dog 2020 uncle, I'd get it more.
I prefer a champagne uncle.
Or an old English uncle, but.
It's a little handsy in the afternoon. Yeah, okay, close talker.
Okay, yeah, yeah, I get it, picking up what you're putting down. Well. Yeah, mine was a I don't know heroin uncle.
It was so scary it was, I was. I honestly had the worst anxiety I've had in a really long time. And then I got dinner with my friend that night and I was just down bad. But we've made it through.
We're here.
Yeah, I finally got some sleep and I feel really great.
We were discussing this. We are known for being passionate about FaceApp.
Yeah.
I wish they would sponsor this podcast.
There's no way.
The other day I did my in my annual thing, I got an email it's like $30 for your subscription. I'm like, best money of my year.
Oh my God, if you don't know what FaceApp is, it's like a photo editing app that like, basically just like sort of edits your Facebook. It'll like, add like lashes and like a little bit of like smoke in the corner of your eyes and like, just, I don't know, it's almost just like makeup.
I don't know, it doesn't really like it's so subtle in ways.
To be fair, I do this sometimes for fun. When I'm bored, I'll take photos of people I know and I'll completely change them. You can, it's so realistic looking, you can change their hair, makeup, whatever.
You can do, you can go crazy with it.
But we prefer, I prefer it very subtle. I still want to look like me. My goal is to make it look like it was taken with professional camera, that's my goal.
My goal is just to make it look like I did a little bit more makeup than I did. Or like it looks like it did at the beginning of the night. Mostly. But you can do like there's different like levels too, like there's like, different, they have different names for, like, what the like?
There's the Hollywood, the cute, and then there's charm. Charm is the favorite.
Charm is my.
But there's charm one through three.
One through five, babe five, you can really charm it up.
Five would be crazy.
It's it would be insane. Sometimes. I will do charm times two, if it's far away, because you can't really tell, but if it's a close-up, always charm one. Because you, it's like it can start to rearrange your face, like, truly.
Well, it makes your yeah, I still want to look like you wouldn't like. When I tap on it to see the before and after, it is subtle.
I'm a big fan of the subtlety of it, but I also no shame in my game, I'm very open about using it and....
But here's the thing when you. What we talked about is you have to charm everyone's face in it. People in the background, like, we're talking, you know, there's the waiter, you got to get charmed.
You know, if anyone's face is visible, they get charmed face up, really.
If you use face up and you do not face up, everyone in a photo basement.
You're going to look crazy.
You spend the time, even if it's a giant group photo. You got to do it to everyone and it would. They should make a feature where you can click everyone's face at once and just do charm times. One, because you have to individually do it, but yeah, you got to do everyone. You can't leave people out like you, you show your cards as the kind of person you are if you don't face up everyone.
And also anyone listening who doesn't know what face up is and like, maybe lives somewhere, not in L.A. If you see an Instagram someone who lives here, they are using face up. Just fyi, everyone uses it.
Some people use this snow app and that one's a little crazy because that one will like, it's when people's the whites of their eyes are blinding and their teeth are blinding, they're probably using Snow app.
Some form? Yeah, Facetune, Leah, do you use any apps? are you all natural?
I'm all natural.
Damn.
I'm just it's out of laziness.
This is like, this is the one person.
But I'm also my Instagram is so lame, it's just pictures of me like that, isn't? It's okay every couple of months with my dog.
Like, FaceTune walks, so face up could run correct because Facetune. Like, that's when people were like, blurring out their face, they would like, you know, smooth, they do the smooth thing.
But they were smoothing out their nose to the point where it's like they just had two holes in the middle of their face for their nostrils. Correct? They looked insane and then.
Little Voldemort people are like, he's back.
Voldemort He's back. And then they wouldn't do it to everyone in the picture. So they're just looking like smooth, and then everyone else around them is looking like greasy, porous messes.
If you're so smooth, the cartilage in your face is gone. We have a problem. Things have gone south.
You just look like flat Stanley.
You know, no bone structure, yeah, anyways, but you?
This is how committed I am to face tapping people, okay?
So you know, my dead mom again, this is fucking funny and she would laugh. I loved her more than anything on planet Earth. Anyone who knows me for five seconds knows this. Talk about her incessantly.
I honestly love talking about her because she's just the best. This year, on the anniversary of her death, it was the 11 year anniversary. And unfortunately, I don't have a lot of. I have photos, some photos of my early childhood, and then, like, missing a bunch that I would have had with her. So we only have them.
And she wasn't very happy with how she looked at the time. There's this really sweet photo of us on a recliner chair and I'm like, sitting on her. I'm like, maybe 10 or 11, and she had a little schnick going on.
And she would, you know again, she would laugh about this and point it out. And I was like, charm, too, I got you. I ran that shit through FaceApp and she looked like an angel.
I did a couple other things. Yeah, she looks snatched, and it's like, also how I remember her looking anyway. You know, we always feel differently, but people we love and they don't see themselves clearly.
But I told this to Katie and we laughed for three because I didn't realize how weird that was until we talked about it out loud. But I was like, you get a Faceapp, you get a Faceapp. Mom, may she rest, you get a FaceApp.
I will never post another photo from 94 of my mom again without giving her charm, too. What was I thinking?
No kidding.
A postmortem? FaceApp is the new standard. If you are not doing that, you are not showing up for those you love. If I could FaceApp, Leo, my cat that died, I would. This doesn't register.
Everyone gets a FaceApp and we mean everyone.
Posthumously, I'd like to welcome you to Filters. Mom. And I'm sure she loved it, I'm sure she was like, liking from up above, She was like, Wow, I look amazing.
She's like, Thanks, sweetie, you're doing great, sweetie. Thanks, sweetie.
With her little Martini slouching shout out Jules, we love her.
But that's what I mean. So it's like, you got a big ass photo. When you got people in the background, you're like, I know you didn't ask for this, but charm.
Unless you're in my basement, no FaceApp for you, but anyone else FaceApp.
If you're in my basement, I'm trying to erase you from the photo.
Yeah, we go to smooth, we try to voldemort smooth it out like the nose, but an entire person.
I'm sticking like emojis over you, poop emojis, but OK, but this is. This also brings us to other things.
Yeah.
Someone sent me something in my DM, which I really appreciate. I don't know who it is, so my apologies, but it was something, probably parenting. But it doesn't matter because this section of it was talking about how patient millennials are and why. And it's just like, really reminds me.
And I know if you're Gen Z, sit down because they'll be like, I remember that too. Just because you were like, four and you remember your mom. Like, changing your diaper in a blockbuster does not mean you have the same experience that we had. OK, like I was in 2000, I was born 2000, I remember that too.
Well, I was like, I don't know, fifteen in 2000. So like, not the same. Because we really lived between two distinct eras in time, like that pre internet, cell phone, like social media era. And then now because they're talking about how? When we wanted to watch a movie, it wasn't just like opening up Netflix or like whatever streaming service and then just buying that movie. We had to, like, get in the car, go to blockbuster.
And then not just that, but praying they had a copy of that movie.
And you were frisky on that drive, too. It wasn't like a chore like we all do Doordash now, because we don't want to leave our homes and interact with others because. But we were like it was an event. Mom, can we go to blockbuster?
Yeah.
And then you'd get them to go and you were like, Heck, yes, oh no, you may not say I was saying it as a child. Oh, it was a whole night. So. And then, yeah, you're like, I hope they have it in stock.
And then when you get there and it would just have the pay, you and it was out, it was out. And then you just had to pivot and pick another movie.
And you would go up to them. They're like, Do you know? When you're getting another copy? and they look it up? They're like, Well, another one's coming in later this afternoon, you'd beg them to, like, hold it for you.
Like, that's what happened.
And here's hoping it's coming. And we don't know because people aren't reliable, like we don't know if they're actually going to return it on time.
They might just eat those late fees.
We don't know if they're going to be kind and rewind.
I racked up late fees myself.
Yeah, there were so many things like that that we were talking about that are nostalgic.
Also, like, OK for pictures, for instance, before before even digital cameras, like we had, just like those, you know, we had film disposable cameras, so we took. We were taking pictures all night long, not being able to even view them. Then we have to go and get them developed and we get them back, and they were like, we're looking through them. And you had maybe of 20 photos on a roll of film.
Then, if you're lucky, sometimes 18, you know, you had to be very selective with the photos you were taking on that camera.
It's like, I want to capture this moment, but I'm like, what if there's another better moment in 10 minutes? You just had to go with it, you had to make your choice and assume it was the right one.
But we, but we didn't, we didn't think anything of it. We're like, this is going to be great and then we're not going to see these for like, maybe another, like week or two, and we're fine with it. We weren't like being all impatient about it.
Like, air, drop me that pic as I'm putting my phone.
I need it right now, I need it right now. I want to post it right now. So I can get the gratification of people liking it and people seeing it and all of that. Like, now and then, same thing with music.
We couldn't just go open up Spotify or Apple Music and listen to a song that we want to listen to, or YouTube. And listen to a song like we. If we really wanted to, we could rip it from the internet.
We had Limewire, that shit give our computer a virus.
Yeah, and we sometimes. Sometimes it would take, I don't know, 15 minutes, sometimes it would take hours. And you and you couldn't preview the song, you just had to go find it.
Look at the file that looks legit, wait for it to download. Hope no one, you know, interrupts the internet and then listen to it.
And then hopefully it's good, hopefully it's not corrupt, hopefully there's no DJ.
There's adlibs on it that's like DJ Skully Skull, and you're like, God damn it. This took an hour to download. How am I supposed to listen to Lollipop by Lil Wayne?
I can't damn it, yeah, I can't remember what beyond them call us millennials. I read something recently, and by read, I mean, saw it on TikTok. That said, we're the last generation that had life without the internet.
Like, obviously we had it like dial up and whatever, but meaning not in our the palm of our hands and in whatever. And I think that's those nostalgic memories. It's so like, you're saying like, you're waiting a week for the film, you're going to the blockbuster and you don't know if you're going to get your movie. There was so much excitement and the disconnectedness.
I have great memories of playing outside with my friends and doing things that I just don't really feel like are a thing anymore. And I'm really glad that we got to experience that.
Oh my God, me too. And I feel really bad for the generations after us that they don't get those experiences. I mean, they can. But the problem is is that because of technology and how fast it's advanced, that it's never going to be the same.
We have, like, 10 year olds filtering their photos. It's such a bummer. And I mean, yeah, so like then we progressed in a college, high school, years, whatever. People had their digital cameras as a wristlet on their night out.
And we take a thousand photos and then we just dump them in chaos. There was no editing, there was no nothing. And you're like, Wow, this is such a great photo and you're hoisted and your eyebrows are pencil thin and everything.
The guy in the background also looks like a monster. Zits are out for those to see. All of your nostrils are present and you loved it, and it was like, fun and innocent.
And now it's just.
And look, I'm guilty of that too. And also, like you just said, the impatience that we all have, I'm already an impatient person, like I was impatient in 95..
So it's gotten progressively worse. So if there's a photo I want, I need it immediately. And then, like, while I'm out, I get stuck like, I need to post it or just do it. Also, when people ask what your hobbies are, I know they should be cooler and like, Oh, I hike and whatever.
One of my hobbies is FaceApp I love I fucking love to Bedrot and FaceApp Photos. And I'm like clicking my feet together like a little cricket, and, like, you know, doing and making sure all my friends look hot, too.
And I mean, I obviously have naturally hot friends, but yeah, I love it. It's a joy. But there was a much simpler time.
Do you know what I don't love when people ask me what my hobbies are?
That's like the name, three songs.
I also don't like when people.
So what do you do for fun? I have fucking fun, I dream. What do you mean?
Like, you're expecting, like some like, completely off the wall answer that you've never heard anyone say. What do I do for fun?
Next, I know we need to come up with the correct risk. Like an auto reply to that auto response. Because I'm like, there's only a few things that humans can do on planet Earth. One of those, think of a fun thing. Have you ever thought of a fun thing in your life?
That's what I do. Perfect. You can use your imagination.
This like the regular shit that people do for fun. What do you think?
I could tell you about scuba, but I mostly like to go to happy Hour.
I hang out with my friends.
I go to concerts as often as I can.
Yeah, that's what I mean. And I start talking and saying, Shit, I'm just like, Is this the most boring shit? I don't know. It's like, I start talking and I'm like, Are you regretting asking me this question?
Because, or do you realize how stupid it sounds like? I do the regular fun shit that normal people do? I don't like? I would love to like, blow you away right now with some crazy shit.
But like the standard.
Okay, I'm some weirdo asking you this, and I'm like, What do you like to do for fun? Let's have an honest spin of that. What would your things be if you're just being completely honest?
What do I fucking feel like doing? I don't know. It depends on the day. Whatever sounds like fun that day, sometimes seeing nobody and talking to nobody sounds like my kind of fun.
Not answering this question right now sounds like more fun than answering it.
It's like, when you go to the doctor and you're like, you go to the doctor and like, how many drinks do you have a week? And I'm like, socially, you're not going to be like 47..
Sometimes I.
You're a lie.
Sometimes sitting on my phone and like, online shopping sounds like fun. sometimes going out with my friends sounds like fun. Sometimes doing nothing sounds like fun. Depends on my mood, but like, what do I do for fun?
I don't know what do I do for fun? I watch the office for the 87th time while my phone is on. Do not disturb. While I'm on TikTok, sometimes I pause the show because I need to focus more on TikTok. Then I flip it, put that thing down, flip it, reverse it.
And then I do the other way, then I hold my cat, then I occasionally speak to a living person. I like to spend time on DoorDash, figuring out what would be the most satiating thing that I could possibly get. Then sometimes I like to go to the store and get wine.
Then sometimes I like to go to my friends and we.
Let's pick a place. Oh my God, we all are on the same page about the perfect place. We all want to go eat, we go have a meal.
We talk, shit, we goss. We don't have big ideas and big, groundbreaking things. We just want to have a little moment in the Henhouse. I do do other things.
I play tennis, I like to bowl. I could tell you these cool things, but my day-to-day life, I like to do the normal, fun things that people like to do.
I don't know, sometimes going on a trip, that's what I mean.
Also, I travel, I catch flights, not feelings. That's what I spend my time doing. Hopefully I'm going to Italy soon with a certain Australian.
But yeah, I think people need to come up with better questions, more specific questions, because that shit blows.
You know what? That is such a good way of positioning that. If someone asks you that you should be like, this is entertaining mediocrity. And I need you to kick things up a notch.
Okay, one time someone asked me, rather than saying, How are you? or one of those, they said, What are you excited about right now? What are you looking forward to? What are you excited about?
I was like, there we go. There's a question I can actually answer about something that's going on in my life currently, or what's coming up in my life. That I can sort of elaborate on. To give you some sort of insight to what I'm about and who I am, that was a really specific, great question. So do what you will with that, but don't ask someone what they fucking do for fun or what they do, period.
So what do you do?
I love when you get to, I mean.
I do my best not dating.
I do my fucking best.
I do my fucking best, I love when you get. I mean, I'm not dating at the moment. But when you get to a second or third date and you just still haven't even discussed, there's this. And look, I know maybe some people feel awkward, and there's reasons for that, but we need more variety, I'd say, and I'm going to start answering, honestly.
That's my commitment when I do start dating again. Eventually, whatever the fuck that is, I'm just going to answer the and I think it's a good litmus test and see who sticks around because I'm like,....
Or just answer like, I like the question, What do you do for fun? Usually illegal shit.
Things I can't talk about in a court of law.
Yeah, substances do what you will not.
Leave that up to your devices. Your mom probably wouldn't want to drug test me. No, I'm kidding.
I go to your dad's house and say, What's up?
Your mom wouldn't want to meet me because I'm boning your dad.
And just see their faces and just be like, Well, I don't know what do you do for fun? Well, I go for a hike, sometimes I hang out with the boys.
If your answer for number one thing we're doing for fun is hike, take a hike right now, immediately go to Runyon. I'm like,....
Katie doesn't hike.
I do not hike, we like a long walk that is flat, I will not walk on an incline for really any reason besides a treadmill. When I'm trying to be hot. But like in the wild and people are like, Well, you want to hike while we're on a do you want a date hike?
Why? so you can hear me pant to the point of I can't even fucking breathe.
If there's heavy breathing involved on a date, that's not, you know.
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
So I have a new Bev.
The Bevy Queen tell me everything.
It's called bubbly burst, and I brought every single flavor. Yeah, you did. Which one do you want? I got triple berry, peach, mango, cherry, lemonade, pineapple, tangerine, watermelon line and tropical punch.
What's your fave?
Well, the bubbly burst flavors are all insanely good, but I mean, I don't know, I crave a different flavor depending on what I'm doing. When I watch shows at night, I might do like a glass of watermelon, lime and like a wine glass over ice.
And then, when I need a midday pick-me-up, I might do like a cherry lemonade or peach mango. But I think for my new podcast beverage, I'm going to do the tropical punch. Sounds bubbly, effervescent. Oh yeah.
I'm a berry gal, so can I have the triple berry? Mm-hmm. We'll do some AsMr.
Yes, you're still meow. This is next level. What is it?
It's bubbly burst, and it's a new, sparkling water beverage that flips the script on. Boring, with a burst of bold brew flavors, obviously refreshing bubbles and 1 juice.
I feel like I was just talking about this. How I'm really conscious of the amount of sugar in drinks and it looks like there's zero added sugar. And it has antioxidants and immune support with vitamins E and zinc, which you and I can both use. Apparently, since we've been to the hospital recently and only 5 to 10 calories.
The best part is that it's bursting with flavor. I love that it gives me the little burst I need, and it makes any activity like, really fun.
It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's invited. I love how colorful the bottles are, too, They're so cute, they make me happy. It's bursting.
It's colorful, it's energetic, there's a little saying at the top of each cap, totally, what does yours say?
It says fizz on.
Mine says, Drink it all in, that's like, really uplifting.
Definitely try this new Bubbly Burst Bubbly Burst is a flavorful, new, sparkling water beverage from the makers of Bubbly.
Honestly, I'm gonna try the watermelon lime too, it's delicious, it's bursting with fruit flavor. And again, the no sugar added is just really what I need to be. All smiles.
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I'm actually bringing my Vessi Stormburst low tops on our beach vacation that we've been talking about forever, to Turks and Caicos. Because same thing, you need it for all kinds of climates, rain or shine. I feel good wearing them around to the beaches, anywhere where anything is slippery. We know I'll be drinking lots of pina coladas, dancing at the bar. We need to be careful with that.
They're also just great for exploring on sand pavement excursions, so when we go around doing stuff, I'm good to go.
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Just because we're talking about nostalgic thing, I do want to mention this just because it was funny. What my high school sweetheart, oh who?
I dated for three years who, at the crescendo of our three-year dating, came to visit me at my college. Like we had broken up. But he was coming to see me, like my. I went to a big party school, so he came to our syllabus. Week, you know, it's like the school week starting, so everyone's partying a lot.
He came to visit me and so did this girl that I had known who I was. We hadn't been as good friends, if I'm being honest, but we were had been friends since we were like five. And I was hanging out with them and I lost track of them one night, and I was like, looking for them and calling him, and they slept together. I'm pretty sure they boned in a car, found out about it, and I called them also Carly. If you're listening to this, fuck you for real forever.
So they boned in a car or something, and I confronted both of them, They both gaslit me like, You're crazy, you're crazy. And then around Thanksgiving, she messaged me on Facebook and was like.
I'm sorry, it's true.
And I was like, Girl, I don't want to have this conversation online. Let me know your schedule when I'm home next week for break and I'd like to meet up and discuss this. And she blocked me. She was a coward, so that's why I say, fuck her forever.
Again, stay out of business girlfriend. I anyway so, and mind you, he cheated on me so much, I don't care anymore. It's obviously it's been a long time and whatever, but I was so in love with him and he was. He was not a good kid and he influenced a lot of me, not being a good kid.
You know, he was the one that I smoked weed with in the pop can for the first time. It was with him. Hi Terrell, if you're listening, I doubt you are. But he posted my junior year, his senior year, winter formal photos, and it's so I have dark brown hair, like box dyed it.
And I have-.
Jump, scare I have the Ashley Simpson bangs with the bump of the like half up bun. I don't really look at my mentions because I don't want to, it's too scary. And but I saw, I, like, I was like, What is that?
And I looked at it, I was like, Oh my God. And I had lost track of him. I don't have his number, like I haven't talked to him in years.
Oh, also, Jill, fuck you too, that's one other girl that one of his best friends that he boned for years. And I found out. Actually, he came randomly to my going away party when I was moving to California. And his good friend. Risha told me that, and I was like, You did fuck Jill?
I knew it, so fuck you too, if you're listening anyway. I messaged him and I was like, Oh my god, where did you get these photos? And he was like, I'm at my parents house right now. They say, What's up?
And they have them, and I was like, can you mail them to me? because I wanted them? Like, I don't have any photos from that time, like high school or anything. And also, and it's like, I look at back on him with fondness.
Now, right? It was like puppy love and he hurt me a lot and he was beyond the cheating. He was so horrible to me, so, so horrible.
But I like, look at it and laugh now, right? And so we were going back and forth.
I love those photos.
I reposted it and I went with a caption and I was like, fun facts. We were drunk in these photos. This is box dyed brown hair. This is my high school sweetheart. He cheated on me a lot.
High tea and reposted it, and I didn't. I don't think that he expected me to repost it, nor to blow up his spot. But little did he know that I'd eventually have a podcast and be able to chit chat about it. So honestly, nothing but love to you because you're a silly goose and you taught me a lot.
But he taught me the power of silence when he slept with my friend, and that was like the final, final deal breaker. He blew me up for like two months, calling me, constantly texting me, and he always had the upper hand. The second I just completely stopped talking to him, I was like, Whoa, this is powerful, so, you know, thanks for that too. Anyway, isn't that so funny?
Nostalgia.
Oh my god.
Back to the blockbuster days, your high school sweetheart cheating on you, some of you weren't cheated on, but your high school sweetheart, it shows.
I didn't have a high school sweetheart.
No high school sweetheart.
I had this whole thing of, like, what am I going to do? Like, continue dating this dude? After high school, I went out with that, I had little boyfriends.
Never anything serious, because I'm just like, I want to have fun in high school and go out with a lot of boys. But I think I just knew that I was not going to continue that post high school. So what was the point I'm getting out of here afterwards?
There were times in which I remember I got in a fight with my mom once about. I was like, maybe some people marry their high school sweethearts. And she's like, Dana, you're not marrying him, and blah, blah, blah. It's like, literally so laughable. Now, I don't know. Is this crazy to say we lost our virginities to each other?
I mean, we were obviously we were 16 when we started dating and dated for three years, so obviously in that time we lost our virginities to each other. And one time we definitely got caught by my mom and it was a. It was like a such a big fall out of proportions. He, like, basically ran out of my house half naked, and my mom was not. She wasn't too happy about it. Wow.
All right, well, this is the perfect segue to base Who's in your basement? I forgot who's in mine, obviously, Joe.
Oh, Joe's in my basement this week, you loser, why don't you go post another thing about Tom Shorts that he doesn't acknowledge? While he's in Hawaii with his girlfriend? You're not his girlfriend, just want to remind you of that.
Who's in yours?
Is it weird that, like, nobody like, pissed me off this week?
I feel like this is the second time this has happened with you. And I don't get it because I will never not have someone in my basement or something.
Well, I mean, listen, there's always like somebody in my basement, but like, it's just weird that this week I was just like, You know what?
Joe and Rachel can go in my basement for being so passive aggressive online, like, Do better, I know it's boring.
I mean, it's low hanging fruit, but whatever, let's do home down heroes, because they're not boring, they're not boring.
I know my basement is boring this week, guys, but it will probably be a better one next week.
Yeah, the week is young.
I'm having an off week.
You guys, these are truly amazing. Keep sending them in.
Disrespectfullypodatgmail.
Com.
Vanessa says Hi, ladies love. The podcast wanted to share a story of how I was a bit unhinged in my last relationship. A little backstory.
I was with my ex for four years in my early twenties, we ended up growing apart and decided to break up. It was mutual, and although we have always worked together since we first got together, we're okay to be around each other without any issue. Once we broke up, he was hanging out more with his shitty friends who just wanted to be drunk and high all the time.
The type of guys who don't have jobs and are always shit faced. He also told me he wanted to be a bad boy because being a nice guy was no fun. A few months go by, we're still friendly with each other and we see each other at work often. But now he wants to get back together and starts buying me gifts and writing me sweet letters. After some time of him trying to get back together with me, it finally worked.
I was struggling finding a place to live and was staying with friends while saving money. But when we got back together, I ended up moving back in with my ex. I quickly remembered why we broke up in the first place. We went out on a date and I noticed a very drunk girl who was falling all over the place, and her friends were just as drunk helping her. I tried to help them. My ex kept yanking me away, saying, whatever happens to that girl, she deserves it.
That's what happens when you get that drunk. EW I was appalled and disgusted that I was in a relationship with this fucking loser during our time apart. I'd mentioned to my ex that I was hooking up with a guy who made me squirt for the first time, and my ex took this as a challenge that now he must make me squirt.
Although he never even knew how to fuck me for the four years we were together. After that comment he made about the drunk girl while we were out on our date. I made sure to drink a shit load of water before we had sex, so I could spitefully squirt all over this fool. Literally, I was just peeing on him as many times as I could, pretending to be calm just because I wanted to spite him. I wish I wasn't a broke girl who was living paycheck to paycheck, so I could have just left him.
When I heard that shit, we broke up the day. I left officially leaving him with a pee, leaving him with a peed mattress, with no mattress cover.
Vanessa, you are a hero.
That's, yeah, that is hero shit.
And I'd say, pretty considerate to drink a lot of water and try to make that up, even if it was out of spite.
Yeah.
And also EW saying for big yuck, that guy saying.
I love that your mind went there. You're like, you know what you wanna make me squirt? Then I'm gonna just chug, chug, chug and let you think that. That's like the planning that went into that.
Genius. Well, and again, the way that she realized how disgusting that is for a man to say whatever happens, she deserves it. Why is it always women intervening and helping other women? Can men? If you wanna prove that you're not a bad guy or a danger to society, please, you see something, say something. If a girl is obviously wasted and someone's taking her somewhere or she's not well, please help.
Why do they think that women deserve what they get because of what they're wearing or because they're drunk? It's just like, that is basement behavior, that guy's in my basement.
He's going in your basement. I am so excited to read you, mine.
Okay.
Gabby says Hi, Dana and Katie. I think I might win for the worst date story. I met a guy on Tinder and the goal was just to hook up, per my request. Was hurting pretty bad at the time from a previous breakup. He picks me up and takes me to a nice hotel.
He was super hot and we had a few mutual friends from the same small town. He pulls out a bottle of wine and I asked him if he had a corkscrew. He says no, but begins looking for something that he could open the wine with. He pulls out his pocket knife and assures me he can get it open. Not even two seconds later. The dude cuts off his entire pinky in front of me and I had to legit wrap it up while he looked like he was about to pass out.
I drive him to the hospital and he asked me if I want to stay and meet his mom since she was on the way. I quickly called my sister to come and get me and bolted out of there so fast. He texted me and said he didn't want to wait for surgery, so he left without a pinky. What a dumbass.
Still, to this day, I tell my friends about it because it's just so crazy that he still doesn't have a pinky. I'm a day one listener of the pod and waited for it to come out and I love both of you so much. Was just at Surf my birthday last week and it was such a good time. The thing is like, you want to leave an impression on someone, right? like you want them to remember you.
This man is going to remember you, Gabby, for the rest of his pinky-less life.
Every time he looks at his hand, he's going to remember.
He tries to count to five on that hand, and he's like, what the?
GABBY I mean, also, when she said pocket knife, I knew what was coming.
I'm just like.
No, I didn't. I wasn't thinking that. I thought, like, just I don't know. First of all, what do you mean?
You don't want to wait for surgery. You're like, you know what I gotta go like, Sir, you are missing a limb.
This is not you being at a department store waiting to see if they have the size shoe you want, this is a digit.
Yeah, this isn't like you go to a restaurant, they're like, the wait's going to be 45 minutes.
Do we want to wait?
You're like, let's try down the street, it's an appendage.
Truly, truly bizarre. But I guess, you know, we make our own choices.
This person like, you think you're impatient.
Yeah, this person beats me in the impatient Olympics. My friend in San Diego. When I lived there was on a first date. Once on a hike, first red flag, but it was this really popular hike in the beautiful like, right on the water, it had just rained.
You know, there when it rains, you have to be careful for rattlesnakes. I once ran into one.
See this way you don't hike.
I once ran into one on a trail, so he drove them and they were going back to the car. And as they were getting in the car, there was a rattlesnake underneath his car. He obviously didn't see it and it lunged out and bit him. So she had to drive to the hospital on their first date, drive in there.
He lived, and they never saw each other again.
See, hikes got the rope, can't do it.
Should we do a little WWDB?
Let's do WWDd.
Will says, Hi you two. First, let me just say how much I respect and admire each of you. Your pod has been such a bright spot in recent days and I want to thank you for your openness and energy on this project. Thank you, thank you will.
Last fall, my mom passed away quite suddenly and unexpectedly from a very aggressive form of cancer. I'm very sorry. Losing one of my best friends and biggest systems of support has flipped my life upside down and my husband's life, who's like a son to my mom. We are thankful to have one another to grieve with and support each other, but I would so appreciate your advice on the grief process. What are some actions or things you did to help you both make your way through these types of losses in your lives?
With Love will be him.
First of all, we love having male listeners, so we'd love more. I'll go ahead and start this one.
You have definitely more experience.
First of all, will. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Sounds like you were very close with your mom. Mother. Loss in general, I just think, is such a specific one, because most people are close with their moms and they're just our caregivers and nurturers. And you anticipate they'll be with you for a set amount of time in your life until you're old and grown up, and sometimes that doesn't happen. I lost my mom when I was 22 to a really rare and aggressive brain cancer. So I also relate to you with that, with the quickness of it.
I would say the biggest piece of advice looking back is please try and have tenderness and compassion with yourself. Because grieving is just not linear. And I'm a great case study for how to do it really poorly. It took me forever to move through that loss. I would say I wasn't really, totally well until, like, eight years into losing my mom. Honestly, I was also really hard on myself and judgmental of how I behaved. And you do have to take responsibility for your actions if you're lashing out on people you love and whatever. But you just have to be patient because it sounds corny, but it's just true.
I don't think time heals all wounds, but I definitely think it makes it easier. And there's this great picture I once saw, and it's basically a photo of two balls that are the same size. And it's in talking about grief. The first ball has a tiny jar around it and the second ball has a giant jar, but the ball stays the same size. And people basically are saying, you grow around your grief, it doesn't shrink, and that's just kind of how you get through it. But it sounds like you have a wonderful husband. That is going to be a support system.
So you just have to be able to lean on the people around you and let yourself feel it when you need to feel it. Because it comes in waves. And in the beginning, it's every other minute, and then every other hour, and so on, and so forth, until it's fewer and farther in between. But it's always there. And don't fight the sad, please let yourself be sad and have a mentee be when you need to, because you unfortunately can't outrun it. And I also think that that's something that I did for a long time was try to suppress those feelings. Because I've talked about her so many times in this loss, so many times. But I just can't even properly express how important my mom was to me. And the people in my life, like Katie that didn't get to meet her, who didn't actually see it? I feel like it's just hard to explain.
So it totally derailed me and then it bled out into every other area of my life and I just didn't do a very good job of it. But had I not been just trying to be okay, trying not to deal with it, I probably would have been better sooner. But I got to where I needed to eventually, and I am better than okay now. And I know she'd be really, really proud of that and love that a lot. So just know, like, also, try and hold on when you're in those really hard moments and know that. Eventually, you will wake up and it will feel easier and you might even find yourself in a better place. I know that was really long-winded.
I'm sorry, but you know, it's something I have a lot of experience with.
Yeah, I mean, I think, like you said, grief is not linear. There's going to be days that are a lot easier, days that are sad, and it's going to go back and forth like that. So allowing yourself as much grace as possible. And I think also like, while you have, like your husband, as an amazing support system. Also having, you know, something like therapy that's sort of like that neutral person to talk to can also really help at times as well.
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