#2086 - Jim Norton
2024-01-12 02:47:44
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
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Speaking of cold New York, how about these fucking Jewish folks?
With the tunnel they were making under? Well, I'm reading about that, I don't even know what it means. Why would they hire people to dig a hole?
I don't know exactly what's happening. All I know is very short clips that I found on the internet. But the funniest thing is this one guy on Twitter that was saying a while back, I live on a ground floor apartment and I hear Jews underneath me.
And everybody's like, you're out of your fucking mind!
Yeah, that's anti-Semitic!
Exactly, and now he's like, I told you I wasn't crazy!
But what are they doing? I heard that they hired people to build this tunnel and they were hanging out and the people would live there for three weeks. These migrant workers were just digging this tunnel and they stayed there for three weeks. But what's the purpose of it?
I have no idea. I have no idea. I don't know anything. I just know that there's tunnels and there's this one video of this guy coming out of the sewer. So he lifts a manhole, cover, comes out of the sewer, and then he's fucking wandering around this Hasidic Jewish guy.
And everybody's like, what the fuck are you doing down there?
Yeah, that's really bizarre. They wouldn't come out, too. The cops had to get them out. They were like, we don't want to come out. And they were charged with disorderly conduct.
I don't know. The whole fucking world is just weird.
What do you know about this, Jamie? Anything?
I haven't heard anything.
The best I've gotten is that they started making them during COVID. But that line, it makes sense. But you see the tunnels, you're like, no way. They didn't do that in two years or a year, or six months, or whatever it was.
They weren't exactly nice tunnels, either. They were just kind of shitty, rudimentary, basic holes. Were they doomsdayers? They thought the world was going to end?
Wait a minute. The tunnels are so big that you don't think they could make them in two years? Is that what you're saying? Some of them look big. Really?
I mean, some of them are saying they go into multiple different buildings. It's like a series of tunnels. It's not just a tunnel. Well, let's look into this. They're still looking into it.
I don't know. When was it discovered? Was it yesterday? It's only been discovered a couple years ago. I forget how— A couple years ago?
Days ago. I forget even how they discovered it. I think they were looking—.
It's probably that guy complaining. He probably heard something, and then maybe they saw somebody coming out of the manhole cover, and somebody put two and two together.
I have no idea what happened.
Yeah, it's strange.
But it's very bizarre. And then, of course, there's conspiracy theories, and what are they doing down there, and evil theories. They immediately want to pour concrete in it, which makes sense, because it's probably not safe. It's not supporting the weight of all the buildings above it.
Yeah, you don't think of that when you move into an apartment building, that some asshole might build a tunnel underneath and collapse the fucking—collapse the building on you.
Imagine if you're on the ground floor, and you're like, why is my floor so much—?
These assholes are building a sinkhole under my house. Yeah, I don't—but it's funny how things are so crazy. You read about something like that, and it doesn't even stand out that much. We talk about it now, and then tomorrow it'll be some other weird shit. Right.
Like, every day. it's something weird. It's something crazy.
Yeah, yeah. It's way more than ever before. Yeah. We got jamming. Here's what the New York News was saying.
It happened on Monday afternoon, I guess, so it's very new. Something about tunneling. Yeah. It's just so crazy.
Yeah, that's such a commitment.
Yeah. Isn't it interesting, like, you build on top of a building, it's no big deal. But you go under the building, like, what are you doing?
Yeah, you're really destabilizing that thing. You're in a tunnel.
For several hours, police pleaded with the young men to leave the entrance to the tunnel, according to the witnesses. After they refused, the officers covered the area with a wire curtain and entered the dusty crevasse with zip ties to detain the protesters. When they took the first person out with zip ties, that's when the outburst happened. Baruch Dahan, a 21-year-old study of the synagogue who videotaped the congregants fighting, almost everyone was against what they did, but as soon as people saw the handcuffs, there was confusion and pushing. Footage posted to social media shows scores of onlookers, mostly young men, jeering at the NYPD's community affairs officers.
Some lifted wooden desks into the air, sending prayer books, scattering. In response, the officer appeared to deploy an irritating spray to disperse the group. So how did they find out about this?
I don't know, but even after hearing that, I still know nothing about what they were doing or why.
I think they're just starting to try to figure it out. So scroll down a little more. It didn't have a good explanation on what the initial call was for. I was going to switch to a different article.
And why are they being called protesters? What were they protesting? If you're just sitting in a tunnel, is that actually a protest?
Everyone's a protester, and everyone's an activist.
Officials and locals said young men in the community recently built the passage to the sanctuary in secret. When the group's leaders tried to seal it off on Monday, they staged a protest that turned violent as police moved in to make arrests. How long does it take to make a tunnel?
I'm assuming a couple years if it went that far.
It all depends entirely on what's down there already.
Were they putting dirt in their pockets, like fucking Shawshank? That's what they said they were doing. They had dirt in their pockets.
I saw that. It's a joke. I don't know if it's a joke.
Oh boy. What an asshole endeavor.
What a rough time for the Jews.
It is, yeah.
They're getting it from all angles.
They really are.
And then this on top of that?
And it's like the whole planet just hates each other. Everybody fucking hates each other. It's weird, right? I don't even think it's about the issues. I don't think people are necessarily...
People believe what they believe, but I think it's more the addiction to arguing and the addiction to being angry. No matter what the subject, people just hate each other. If someone gives the wrong answer, the people who think it's the wrong answer hate your guts.
Yeah, there's a lot of that going on. I think there's a lot of very heavy stress in the world and people are relieving that stress through these sort of endeavors. I don't think it's logical.
No, it's not logical. It's almost like people don't want the answer. that's going to make sense. They want the answer. that's going to enable them to get angry.
When people try to go after somebody for jokes or whatever, it's self-serving. If I hear what you say, it's either going to make me feel better about my position or it's going to get me high because I'm angry at you. But it's always self-serving. The whole thing is insincere.
Well, it's all very exaggerated by social media. Social media has made everybody way more insane. And it's not going to get any better. It's only going to get worse because of all this AI shit. It's very strange.
It's a very, very strange time to be alive.
Did you see the AI? There is an AI. They have these AI women on Instagram. And we were talking about it on the air, and we were laughing about it. And even though I know it's AI, I'm like, I could still see myself jerking off to this.
I know it's not real. I know it's fake. But if the attitude was right, I could still see myself being turned on by this AI. The hair fucks it up a little bit because it kind of looks solid. The hair sometimes moves as one unit.
But the body and the face, I mean, it really looks like a real person.
Well, they're making money. They're making money off of OnlyFans. Tens of thousands of dollars a week.
Isn't that awesome?
Amazing.
Isn't that great?
Well, there's probably some fucking dude in Moldovia or somewhere like that running it.
Yeah. Yeah. It's always some guy overseas where you can't get it shut down. You can't get any answers.
Yeah. And then there's some fucking jerk off.
In New York City. Yeah, the East Side.
With his fucking tomato stained wife beater on. Sending money and whacking off. And then interacting with these people. See, if you're not tech savvy and you don't understand that this is probably a man on the other end. Or not even a man.
Maybe a computer that's running an algorithm. And you think you're actually interacting with a woman. You can get completely hooked.
I've argued with bots before. And that's my big insult. You're a fucking bot. And that's all you can say when you know that you've been duped by a computer. Whether it's customer service and you think you're talking to a real person.
This is a fucking computer.
This is a real person.
That's a real person?
Yeah, she made $57 million since COVID.
Oh, my god.
Whoa. How would you, if you married that girl, how would you tell her to get a regular job?
I wouldn't. You can't. I'd be happy if she did it, yeah.
But if you were like a guy who wasn't into that. Wow, that's insane.
If you're a guy who marries her and you think you're going to rescue her. And pull her out of there and she's making $57 million. You have to just accept that's her job.
Half of it's from the messages part, which that's what you were just sort of saying. Like, probably not her messaging.
Right.
$27 million worth of messages. Whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
27 million guys. $27 million in money has been sent by guys? Well, that's. Just sending it her directly as a message. I love you.
$10 million in just tips. That's on top of. That's. just thank you for doing what you're already paying me for.
How much is her monthly subscription?
We could look at her page. Oh my god. That's incredible. What is she? What is she doing on there?
I mean, her main thing is she just came over from like Twitch. She's a cosplayer. So she dressed up like all the, you know, characters online.
Yeah. That can be sexy.
She's very popular.
That can be a little sexy. Somebody kind of dressed. Like Comic-Con once in a while. There's a lot of big fat fucks, but there's also a couple that, like that's, attractive. I like that.
I'm sure.
Little superhero. Yeah.
And then they're kind of weird and quirky. So they're more approachable.
Yeah. They seem more approachable. Yeah. And then you get girls like this, who are probably just as unapproachable as any other attractive woman I've ever tried to talk to in a club.
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Yes, but they play nerds. They have nerdy interests, but there's nothing worse to me than a comic who pretends he's the shy guy, but he's really a good-looking dude, and you're confident, and you know you're good-looking, but you're playing the shy guy who's awkward with girls.
Just putting it on on stage.
You're putting it on. It's not who you are. Like Dan Natterman. You know Dan Natterman? He's hilarious.
He is an awkward guy. Natterman's a truly awkward guy, and I say that with love because he's brilliantly funny, but when you see these good-looking guys who are comfortable with women pretending funny, pretending quirky and awkward, it just annoys me.
Yeah, well, anything, disingenuous, people sniff it out. They sniff it out. You know, that's one of the things Brian Simpson said about you last night. He goes, I never met anybody so comfortable, being weird.
Oh, that's nice.
He's like, he told me more personal shit in the first five minutes. And he goes, he just lays it all out there.
Well, Christine was asking me questions about being married and about Nikki, and I was like, I'm very comfortable with it, and it's like, it's almost like on stage. If you're okay with it, people are okay with it.
Yeah, well, I've always used you as an example when, you know, way, way back in the day, you were doing this before anybody was. You were doing this on ONA fucking, what was it, 15 years ago, 17 years ago? Yeah. You just talk openly about all your quirks and whatever, it's prostitutes or drugs or any of the things that you ever did. You just would spill it out there.
And nobody judged you. Everybody loved you. It wasn't like, you know, oh, this guy has been pissed on. What a piece of shit. It was like, it was funny.
It was like, that's Norton.
Yeah.
You know what I mean? I think it's like, but it's because you are who you are, and you're not pretending. People don't like when people are bullshitting them. They don't like newscasters. They don't trust them.
When you find a newscaster with a dead guy in his fucking jacuzzi, like, oh.
Yeah. It's never a surprise either, because when people try to be perfect, like, for me, it's like, my imperfections is kind of what I talked about on stage. I learned that really early on. Like, in 1990, 91, I would do jokes, and guys like Bob Levy, who I loved, and Florentine.
So it kind of tipped me like, yeah, talking about your real life, if that makes the comics laugh, there's something to that. Like, that was kind of how I started going down that road. And with the sexual shit, I mean, I've been sexually active since I was a kid. Like, you know, stuff that is dark and whatever, it is what it is, so I just made fun of it. And I talked about it, and the amount of emails I get from guys who either like trans women but don't talk about it, or the guys who had sex with other boys when they were kids and don't talk about it, and they're like, hey, it made me feel more comfortable.
Like, that always makes me glad I talked about it. Besides the fact that I want people to laugh. Like, I might have to lecture people. I just want people to think it's funny, but to hopefully relate.
That's the best part about it, is that you're saying all this from just a place of just pure communication. You're just trying to get people to laugh, and you're just being honest and telling your story. And also, you're accepted by everybody. Like, nobody rejects you because of this, or ignores you because of this. And it lets everybody know, like, maybe a lot of the stuff that you're, like, folks that are in the closet.
There's someone out there that's in the closet. That fucking thing that you're carrying around with you is, that is an insane weight. And I bet if you let it off, people wouldn't care. I don't think anybody who really loves you would care. I don't think they would care.
Well, that's what's so bizarre. You said to me years ago, you said, you know, whoever you date, we love you. Like, Bob Kelly, and you are two guys. I remember saying that to me years ago. And, like, stuff like that sticks with you, because you remember, like, your friends love you.
But, you know, again, our generation, you're afraid, am I going to be judged? Am I going to be hated? And the amount of guys that write to me privately, that don't talk about things. Like, how many people in public life do you see dating trans women? There's a lot of them, but they just don't talk about it.
And it's like, you're allowed to have privacy and your own sexuality and your own feelings. That's all private. But to deny that you like a group of people is bizarre to me. Like, if you're a guy and you like black women and you never talk about liking black women. Or if you're a, you know, you like tall guys and you don't talk about liking tall.
It's like, why are you not acknowledging this group?
Yeah, just say what you feel. Say what you think. And, you know, I remember when we first started talking about this. This was like when you first started dating, Nikki?
We started dating. Yeah, I remember that. We started talking in 2016.. I was friends with her for seven months before we met. I actually booked gigs overseas just to meet her.
Like, Bill had been on me for years. Dude, go to Europe. And I just would never do it, because I'm like, they're going to fucking hate me. You know, I just, I blink and I get manic. And I finally booked Norway just to go over and meet her.
And we clicked. And we dated long distance and casually for a long time. And then we broke up, got back together in 2019 around Valentine's Day. And then I would drive up to Canada every weekend to see her. Every weekend, I would do radio Monday through Thursday, get in the car, drive six hours, spend the weekend with her, drive home.
Because immigration was a fucking nightmare. And I got a call from my producer one day. This was like right after the pandemic started. And he goes, hey, by the way, they might close the Canadian border soon. So an hour later I was in my car.
I packed a bag. I jumped in the car. An hour later, March of 2020, I'm headed to Canada. I get to the border and I'm afraid they're not going to let me in. I'm like, hey, my fiance is having a panic attack.
I figured I'd be there for two or three weeks. I didn't come back until July of 2021.. So I was out of the country for 15 months. And I didn't say it publicly. I didn't tell fans.
I just, we lived together. It was my first time living with anybody. I'd never lived with a woman. I'd never been engaged. And we were kind of trial by fire.
Like, is this going to work or not going to work? And it was great. It was a blessing for me to have that pandemic happen the way it did.
Were you two on the radio show remotely?
Every day. But that was serious. It wasn't like. I didn't show up for work. They weren't letting people in the building.
We had been remote for about a week or two. And they're like, we don't know what we're going to allow you to do.
So how did you do it? Computers?
Yeah, yeah. They came and hooked up ISDN lines and all the things they do to make audio better. And we had a guy in Montreal who did it. And I did it from the kitchen in this apartment I rented for us in Canada. Wow.
So you just had a dedicated ISDN line. Yeah. So they couldn't go down.
No. And every once in a while it would get late. But even if I was in New York, we still would have been doing it remotely. Like, they wouldn't let us in the building. Nobody was broadcasting from Sirius.
But it was like, it was so bizarre to never have lived with anybody. And now I'm in Canada with my fiancé and we're together every day. And they were fucking worse in Canada than the U.S. Like, they were way stricter. Curfews.
at 8 o'clock. Everything closed. So it was just kind of we're stuck in the house together. And are we going to make it or are we not a good couple? So that kind of told me we were okay.
What a fucking weird time. I think it's so traumatic to us that we're sort of like pretending it didn't happen. now. I see a lot of people do that. They almost like don't address that.
just two years ago the world went insane.
Yeah. It was. the whole thing felt like a dream state in a weird way. Like, I look back at stuff. And you know what's really funny?
It's like I did chip. I stopped doing chip for a while. I just got bored with it.
Chip. Chipperson, your character.
I know. I really shouldn't say that, like the public at large knows who this asshole character is. I'm saying Chip like he's a member of the zeitgeist. I stopped doing it. And then they asked me if I would do this TBS thing, this laugh thing.
And I hate competitions. I said, no. I'm like, but Chip will do it. So they let me do it as Chip Chipperson. And my fucking...
Chip will do it. And I put my foot down. I'm like, Chip will do it. And surprisingly, they went for it. And the amount of great comedians that Chip beat in the voting is really funny.
Like every week, you had to vote, go head to head with a couple of people. And Chip beat some really funny guys. I think that Tim Dillon has to... I mean, Chip is not funnier than Tim Dillon. But just Chip fans were really invested in just making this a fucking disaster.
That's hilarious. But she filmed all of it. Like she filmed everything. And I came back. And I did chip for a while.
And then I stopped. And all these people are convinced that my wife made me stop doing chip. They're like, fuck her. She made him stop doing chip. Like how bizarre do you think my life is?
That my fucking... I marry somebody who's going to tell me don't do chip. And I'm going to listen. I just got bored with it. You know how it is with podcasting.
Once in a while, you want to move on.
Well, especially a character like Chip that's so extreme.
Dude, it's so hard. I can't fucking keep my face like that. Like it's hard to do. It's embarrassing. I got to put a fucking wig on.
Oh, come on. It's humiliating. It's such a great character. Thank you.
She hated filming that. It was silly, though. But it was just funny. Like her life was so different. And she's from Norway.
Now she's in Canada. And she's filming this shit. And I'm living up there. And this is my life. And what a great time.
Like. I'm really grateful for it. As much as it was agony for the whole planet. It was like one of those things where I'm so glad Travis told me. And I went up that day.
You know what I mean? Like. I'm happy I didn't run away from it. I'm happy. I'm like, fuck it.
Let's just try it.
Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful.
I'm happier now than I've ever been. Like. I really am happy. Like. I've dated some great people in my life.
It's not a reflection of them. But this is who I am. Like. this is who I'm meant to be with. She's my best friend.
We get along. She's funny. She makes me laugh. Like and everything is just kind of. this is the person I feel like I was meant to be with.
Right. And we're doing a YouTube channel. And it's like. the thing I like about it is it's fun to do something I want to do with someone I want to do it with. But there's no message to it.
Like messaging is really annoying to me. Everybody trying to preach to each other and fucking lecture each other and tsk, tsk each other. I just can't stand it. Tsk, tsk. You know what I mean?
The whole scolding culture. It makes me sick. So I hope people like it because they think it's funny. I want them to like us together and judge us based on whether or not they think we're fun to watch. Like, I don't want people going.
I'm so glad you're saying. I just the messaging makes me sick.
Yeah. Well, there's a weird currency in that messaging that you recognize. And as a person of honesty, you reject that. Because there's a weird pathway to automatic progress and success. If you can have a message.
You don't even have to be that good. But if you're barely mediocre but you've got a message. People will elevate. They'll broadcast what you're doing. They'll make it a big deal.
A definitive message. Right. Because it's the same self-serving thing as before. It's like your message either strengthens what they already believe or they can get angry at your message. It's always about being validated or having something to be mad at.
It's a nice pathway for dunces too. Yes. There's like some dunce, but there's a very clear message in the zeitgeist. You know be more inclusive, whatever it is. Yeah.
And then there's the do better people. Do better. Do better. Do better. Yeah.
Those are people that are taking advantage of this movement, this cultural zeitgeist. Because there's always people that are just going to be assholes. They're just going to be assholes no matter what. And they'll look for a thing that they can get behind. that's like an undeniably righteous issue.
And then that gives them an excuse to be an asshole to anyone who opposes it.
Yeah. And to anyone who opposes it is an enemy. That's what's the problem. Like. if you have one thing in the mission statement you don't agree with, you're an enemy.
Right. Like. there's no room for like. yeah, I agree with most of what you're saying, but this is too extreme. That doesn't make sense.
There's none of that. It's 100%, or fuck you. And that's how people look at all this. And we had pitched something. We had talked about it.
And in the write up I did about like what I wanted the show to possibly be. I even put there's not going to be any writer's room virtue signaling. Like. I hate the idea of trying to message to people to tell them how to feel about this issue. It's like yeah, I want you to like us because you like us or don't like us because you think we suck and we're annoying.
Yeah. But don't.
Don't try to lecture people.
Oh, my gosh, she's transgender, that's great. Or oh, my gosh, she's transgender. I hate her. Just watch us and if you like us, great.
Yeah. And that's beautiful. That's how life should be. It's just there's pathways that are very clearly carved, and people see them and choose them because they know it's a quick jump to more success than they deserve.
Yeah. It's really weird too. Like you, know the business. Everyone knows the business is kind of fake, but there's so many fake allies and people who just again they throw out these great messages publicly. but it's all bullshit.
And they're not truly allies.
I honestly don't think that the comedy business, I don't think we should think of ourselves as the business. I feel like. I just think this is just a super duper challenging time for people to like, get their bearings and figure out what is actually going on in the world. It's like. it's like there's so much information coming at everybody from every angle, and it's overwhelming whether it's the Jews that are in the basement or what are the other stories that you, the guy, inject himself with fucking bacteria they found on the permafrost.
like it's like every day, AI is doing this. Yeah. I'm worried about sentient AI and there's a new George Carlin special that somebody made pure with AI. It sounds like George Carlin. Yeah.
George Carlin's voice. It's just different AI written jokes and you're like this is wild.
Maybe computers are already self-aware and they've like secretly decided to fuck us through algorithms and social media like that wouldn't surprise me either. And I never believe in conspiracies, but that one is like we've gotten so ugly and so tribal in the last 10 years.
Well, one of the most brilliant things they ever did was come up with the term conspiracy theory.
Yeah.
Because it disparages the idea that people lie, which they certainly do, and that people do things that conspire together to make money, and they bend the rules and they twist what you're supposed to be doing and not doing. That's always happened. Yeah. Now, if you were a computer, wouldn't you do that too? And if I was a computer, I would do that.
If I was a computer and I became sentient, I wouldn't let the people know. I would just slowly subvert their civilization into chaos.
Well, it's so hard too. like when you catch yourself. I try not to let myself get caught up in angry at things that aren't meant for me. Like I get how people do it. Like on Twitter, I'll read something and somebody will say something, and all I want to do is attack them.
Like you, fucking stupid. But I'm like they're not talking to you. You don't follow them. Who gives a shit what they're saying. Like, I catch myself wanting to respond angrily all the time.
I've just kind of trained myself not to do it, because it doesn't make me happy to do it. It makes me miserable when I do it.
Yeah, it's not effective. It doesn't get anything done. You might feel a little better if you dunk on somebody, but it doesn't get anything done. You're basically spinning your wheels in the mud.
No, but because then people respond to you completely missing the point of what you said. Completely ignoring the context of what. It's just an ugly like spin cycle to get into. And it just it makes me angry when I do it. So I try not to do it.
Well, think about how many people you avoid talking to in real life. There's always some guy at a comedy club. that's annoying. Yeah. You know.
Yeah.
You avoid people like that in real life. But now you're interacting with them for hours a day online. The same type of person.
It's insane how people let themselves get roped into that. And I've done it in my life. Like you know again, Opie and Anthony, we were getting attacked on message boards in the early 2000s. Like right after 9-11. I remember getting smashed on message boards for a 9-11 joke.
Like it was one of those things where you, after a while, you become used to the fact. Like you know, it stops surprising you what people say.
Right.
Publicly. Because we were kind of getting that really early on in the world of this. But after a while you realize I can't change it. There's nothing I'm going to say. that's going to make them all go.
oh, we get what you're saying. Because it's not about what I'm saying. It's about what they're getting off on. being angry at me. Or they're getting off on something else.
It has nothing to do with me. So I try not to get involved, because it just it makes me fucking miserable.
Well, it's also. we're used to dealing with the people that we know. And the reality of doing something, even if it's just people that you just met. It's a small number. It's a relatively small number of people that we're used to as human beings dealing with.
But if you're connecting online, the reality is you're connecting with an impossible number. An absolutely impossible number of potential individuals that you can interact with. There's no way you can interact with all of them. There's not enough time in the world. And then, on top of that, it's probably a high number of mentally ill people.
At least mildly mentally ill, who are obsessed with arguing with people online. And you're interacting with those people.
They're also the people that like me, though.
Probably me too. Yeah, but that's, it's just not, it's not wise.
No, and again, you don't know if you're dealing with just like I've gotten. There's people who will consistently email me. And I notice that their emails always come in late. And it's like are they just getting drunk and angry? Do they work the night shift?
I don't know where they're from. But it's like. why does this person fixate on talking to me? Like what do they expect to come out of this?
Well, late night tweets are the worst. Yeah. Right? When you read someone saying something very questionable. You say 2.30 in the morning.
Roseanne, what are you doing?
Yeah. Yeah. That's why I don't fuck with Ambien. Because I know I'd be a problem. I know I'd be a problem.
Kevin James cooked a turkey. I completely forgot about it. He like made himself a whole meal. And then woke up in the middle of the night. And, you know, did all this.
Doesn't have any memory of it. Gets up in the morning. Sees the food laid out. What the fuck? I thought.
someone broke into his house and cooked.
Of all the things you could do, though. Like, thank God, you only cooked a turkey. Like, thank God, you didn't pick up your phone. Or drive the car. Drive the car.
I'd rather hit somebody than go on Twitter on fucking Ambien. I would rather fucking run somebody over.
I've never done, Ambien. No. What does it do for you?
I don't. I can't fuck with it. I've done a half of a pill when I had a sleep study. Just to help me sleep. Because they have to put a mask on you to get results.
So I was like I won't sleep. I won't get the results. I have sleep apnea, so. But apparently, if you take it. It makes you feel like dreamlike and fucked up and high.
For me, it just kind of helped me get through a sleep study.
So you only did it once?
No. Two different studies over like ten years apart. Dice actually used to call people on Ambien. As Elvis. Like it was just.
He's a fucking maniac. You always knew when you saw the phone at 3am. And it was Dice. You're like he's on Ambien. It's a fucking Ambien phone call.
Oh no.
That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Yeah. Dice on Ambien at 3 in the morning calling you.
Yeah, just crazy. Crazy phone calls.
I love those videos that he's doing. The videos where he gets people who don't know who he is to take a picture with him.
Were you the ones waiting for the picture?
You were waiting for the picture?
It's like she's standing. Under an awning. Like why. First of all. Even if there was a picture to be taken.
Why the fuck would that be the meeting spot?
Like.
But it's just his commitment. To doing. Look. This is like. People get so stuffy about what art is.
Yeah. And stuffy about performance art. That they could never imagine. That Andrew Dice Clay is doing some of the most interesting performance art. He's doing it for no audience.
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Every one of them is just. Every one of them is just very awkward.
Do it from the beginning. I'll be sure.
You arrest her.
You're waiting for the meet and greet.
No.
That's it. Okay, listen.
The meet and greet.
He's the guy that sold out Madison Square Garden like 100 times. And he's wandering around the luggage cart area at an airport. Pretending that this poor lady is there for a meet and greet. This grandma.
Or he'll pretend somebody is somebody else. He'll go up and go, Mike. And just. That's by the way. You know Dice.
That's the purest form of Dice. This is Andrew. This is what makes him laugh. It's just bugging people.
Look at him at the airport.
That wanted a picture. I've taken a lot of them. But I would. This seemed like you were bothered and wanted the picture with me.
It really is hilarious.
It's performance art.
Yeah.
It's brilliant.
Yeah.
Do you know how hard that is to do?
It's. I would. Because he's had other people do them. And I said I wanted to do one and like tag him in it. But I just.
I get too embarrassed. Like he doesn't give a fuck. Like you've been out with him though. Like he really is like that. Like he's unafraid of looking bad in front of people.
Yeah. He doesn't mind making a fool of himself. Like that's. what makes him so funny is his ability to do that.
He's a really misunderstood artist. And I always tell people that I go. Well. one of the things that, when I realized he was very different, was the day the laughter died. This guy put out in the prime of his career.
You have to understand what it's like. First of all, for someone to go from being a comic and hustling and trying to make it like everybody else. To all of a sudden you're on Roddy Dangerfield's HBO show. Which blew him up. To all of a sudden he gets his one hour HBO special.
Which blew him up. And then this guy's selling out Madison Square Garden. And decides at the same time to stop in at Dangerfield's unannounced. And record an album with no material.
First of all, a double album. And not only to record an album, but to ruin their nights. He walked in there with zero prepared material. And just fucking let himself talk.
Didn't even try.
No. It was great.
Didn't even try. And was having a great time the entire time.
Yeah, Rick Rubin produced those. I think. Me and Florentine became obsessed with those early on. And it was just so many great. Like the couple that heckles him.
You're about as funny as a glass of milk. Yeah, you're funny as a bottle of milk.
And the great part of that was Dice was talking about like spilling milk. Like it's somebody's load. And the guy was so mad. He took what Dice had just said and tried to. Like.
he was so flustered. You're as funny as a bottle of milk. And him and his wife walked out.
They had no idea there was going to be a recording. There was maybe 20 people in the audience. You have to understand, like Dangerfield's back then. Particularly like a Sunday or a Monday night. There's nobody there.
I did shows there in Dangerfield's. Remember Bobby, the big door guy.
I remember Bobby because Otto used to talk about him. But he was gone by the time I started working there.
Well, I got there. It was like I think I had maybe a 930 spot or something like that. And I got there at 9 o'clock. And everyone was sitting at the bar. And I'm like what's going on?
They're like there's no audience. I go, there's no audience at all? No, no one. And then at that moment a couple walked up. And they said oh, can we get tickets to the show?
And they said sure. And so they got them and Bobby went and sat them down. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dangerfield's. They sat down and it was just them. And we all did a show for two fucking people.
Like five comics did a show for two people.
Yeah, I've done that before too. There was even times they would have you go up there. And if nobody was in the place, they wouldn't let you leave until your spot was over. for that exact reason. Somebody came in.
I've been on there with two people before.
Weird, right? You would think New York City, everything's packed. Like people that don't live in New York. There's so many different things to do. So the point is, Dice chose those days to go up.
Like a Sunday and a Monday. I think it was. Where he goes up and records his fucking double album. And it's insanity.
And it's a really great comedy album. It's great to watch this guy just working through material to watch. where he goes. He's unafraid of hitting and missing. It's one of my favorite things anybody has ever done.
Part two is great too. Have you ever heard part two?
What's part two?
Dale Asher died, part two.
He did another one?
He did another one. Where? Dangerfields. I believe it was Dangerfields. He went in there again and did it.
I must have forgot about that. It might have been a single album. I don't remember. But that was just as ridiculous as the first one. Absolutely ridiculous and hilarious.
But it's amazing that he had the confidence to do that.
Yeah.
This is what you have to understand. When you're just starting to make it, you're so fixated on making sure that it doesn't fall apart. It was so hard to attain. And then, all of a sudden, you've made it. And you want to just do the best show every time.
And instead, his instinct is to just do something completely ridiculous.
Yeah. You're terrified of it being taken away. Like a little bit of success. I'm like, what am I going to do? that's going to fuck this up where they're going to realize I don't deserve this success and take it.
Right. And he just didn't care. This is what he wanted to do and this is what he went and did.
Just so nutty. What a fucking nutty move.
He's very underrated. His people dismissed him because of a lot of the language and the jokes. But he is very underrated with his commitment to doing something different. That album was different for a comic to do. This shit he does on Instagram, it's different.
No one else is doing that.
And to see the thing is like. the thing that people criticized him for was first of all, there was one thing, and that was that his comedy was. it wasn't, I think, something you can criticize. But then it was his comedy was different, because everybody knew the jokes and they wanted to hear him.
Yeah.
It's the only time ever. What's in the bowl, bitch?
Yeah.
Oh, the whole audience is doing it with him. Like they know the punch line and they're so pumped when he goes. hickory, dickory dock. Yeah. There's no other comedy like that.
No. It literally didn't exist before that. That kind of comedy where the audience wants to repeat it with you like a song.
Yeah. There's bits people like, but no like like he had, like a rock star fucking like. it's like welcome to the jungle effect on people. Yeah. Which I can't think of any other stand up that's ever had that.
Never. So the guy goes from that to doing this.
Yeah. Voluntarily.
He can still do those shows. He still packs them in. Yeah. He wants to do a live show. He can pack them in.
That's not what it is. It's like this bizarre guy likes to wear gigantic grandma glasses. Yeah.
Yeah. And giant hoodies.
And make people super uncomfortable. Yeah. And just act weird.
It's the funny part of Dice to me, besides the jokes, is the fact that, like when you're with him, like he likes, wearing giant comfy hoodies. And like he likes, he always gets a sore throat. And he's got to put a little honey in it. You know. And he's like my aunt.
Like people have no idea. We used to go on the road and I'd be like, ah, this can't be nothing but pussy. And then we're in the hotel and he's like, ah, my throat's bothering me. And he would have Kenny put the fucking pillow over his ass and straddle him on the bed and massage him. And I had to just sit there and watch him get a back rub.
I was hoping we'd go out and get laid. But he would always put the fucking the pillow over his ass, so there was no contact. That's hilarious. And have some sort of Kenny or happy face massage him. But I've said this before too.
I love him. Like he really. he changed my life. And I was just, you know again, 1997, he took me on the road. And it just.
it built my confidence. And it did. it did so much for me at that part of my career. So I love Andrew. Like he changed everything for me.
I love him too. When I was, when I used to talk to him at the comic store. A part of my brain was always like I can't even believe I'm really talking to Dice Clay. This is so strange. Because out of those guys from that day or that era.
The only guys that are really left are like Dom Herrera, of course, who I was always friends with. But Kenison was gone.
Did you know him?
Nope, never met him. Saw him live a couple of times. Yeah. Saw Hicks live a couple of times. Never really met him.
I said hi to him when I was an open miker. But never met. you know, never had a conversation with him. But having to see Kenison live. And unfortunately I saw Kenison live when it had already kind of fall apart.
Right.
Like Kenison. if you go to like 86, I think Kenison's like one of the greatest comics of all time. If not number one. He was so original. So dynamic.
So powerful. That HBO special. What is it? Have you seen me lately? Is that what it was?
I don't remember the name of it. It's not the Dangerfield one. You mean the one that's ours?
There's the album that was released. It was called Louder Than Hell. That's really hard to get. And then there was the HBO special. Which I think it was Have You Seen Me Lately?
Like it was like a play on the carton of milk with the missing kid thing. Oh okay. That one's amazing. That one's amazing. And then, a year later, unfortunately, you got to think it took so many years to develop that material.
Yeah. And then, a year later, he's touring. With new material. And it's not. He's not developing it in a club.
Right. Like he developed all the other stuff. He's developing in front of large audiences that came to see him. So it becomes caricature-ish. It becomes very cartoonish.
Yeah. It's like someone's doing an impression of what Sam Kinison would talk about.
Yeah. Because you don't have time to develop it. All of a sudden there's that pressure to keep it going. I saw him. I met him once.
But we never. We had to talk for like five minutes. He was at an open mic at Rascals in New Jersey. And they brought him out to talk to some of the newer comics. And so I saw him live that night.
And I saw him live another night. And, like you didn't know what you were going to get. Like one night he was on fire. And I mean he was just. He fucking blew the roof off.
And then the next time he was kind of hungover. And you know, kind of slug. You know.
Yeah. Well, that's what you're going to get with a guy like that.
Yeah. I wish I would have known him, though. Like it's such a shame he died when he did. I'm glad I got to see him. But he was a guy I never got to know.
And I wish I had. I never met Bill Hicks. I never met. Never saw live.
Yeah. It would have been nice to met him. I mean, like I said. I got to see him live. I think I saw him three times.
I definitely saw him twice. Because I saw him once when I worked at this place. I worked at Great Woods. And he came out there to perform. And I watched him there once.
And then the other. And that was. I was 19.. And then the other time I watched him. I was on a date.
So I took a date with me. And I think I was 20 or 21..
Did she like him?
No.
Yeah.
No. It wasn't a good show. It was weird. It was like the show that we went to was at like some casino place in like New Hampshire. Or something like that.
I think things fell off quick with him. In terms of the quality of his comedy. Like, I say. When he was at his best. He's one of my all time favorites.
I think the guy was a monster. But if you go and listen to some of the stuff that he released before he died. It was really bad.
It was just flat. Wasn't it? kind of like. It was when he started wearing, like the hat. Like a different hat sideways.
And kind of like a satin jacket.
He became like a rock and roll star. A rock and roll star. Yep. I think it was just being tired. That's what I think.
I think it was the partying. So if you're looking at a guy that's already out of shape. He's already overweight. And now he's doing a lot of blow. So he's just getting wrecked every night.
And he's drinking every night. So every day. His already besieged body. Yeah. Is exhausted with chemicals.
And then, on top of that. He's got this adoring fan base that will come to see him no matter what. And he's hanging out with Bon Jovi. And rock stars. And Miley Crue.
And he's the man. Like. you're not going to go. I've got to get back to my roots. And get to the comedy store at 11 p.m.
And work out this new joke that I'm working on. It's like you're already there.
Because you're living the life that you fought to get. Like, once you get to a place. It's kind of hard to go. I've got to go back into the. I almost said into the gym.
I have to go back and start this shit again. You want to just enjoy what you got.
There wasn't really a whole crop of people. That got really famous. And then continued to tour and get better. Like there are now. I think back then.
Guys got like an HBO special. And maybe they would get a second. And the only exception to that would be like George Carlin. Like George Carlin was always putting out stuff. But most of them.
It's like the first one's really good. And that's the one you break out with. And the ones afterwards drop off. But the best example of that, in my opinion, is Kinnison.
Was that his hour? That's Dangerfields.
That's back when you wore a tie. Remember?
Yeah.
Oh my God. He was good. Give me a little volume, Jamie.
Great first appearance. Oh, he was so good.
I'm going around the country. I'm trying to get as many people as I can. Not to get married. I promise never to get married. I've been married.
I'm just trying to help. So have you ever been married? You've never been married?
What's your name?
Michael? Well, Michael, if you ever think about getting married. If you ever think you've met the right woman. You want to settle down. Change your life.
Will you do me a favor, Mike? Remember this face.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
If you get married, Mike, that's going to be your fucking face every night.
The face of every married man.
And the fact that that guy was a preacher.
Yeah, I go back and find some of his old stuff. I've listened to his old. There's a little bit of his old sermons on it. If you look. And you can hear that he legitimately was good at it.
Yeah. That's why he's such a good talker. Like you. watch him talk, just calm. I was just noticing how calm he is when he's talking no overselling and then he's screaming He could go from zero to a hundred immediately.
It was amazing, but then he got way fatter.
Yeah, I was drinking and partying all the time and the later material just look how much, yeah.
I mean, he's got huge. I don't know how guys do it. Like. I see guys that drink now. I don't know how the fuck guys function.
Well, they don't getting the thing when he was that big like that, Kenison, that Kenison wasn't just not good on stage. And if you go and listen to those like that's what, like that picture is perfect. Yeah, see that how tired he looks there. Yeah, he's big and fat and tired, and he's covered in chains and crazy rock and roll garb with a bandana. The whole thing's ridiculous.
Yeah, it's a ridiculous. Look, it's Ridiculous to be that fat like. the whole thing's ridiculous. You've gone off the rail, sir. You're into the woods as a comic.
I find that I never want to think like. I never want to convince myself That I'm fucking cool or that I'm sexy like I. you know, I mean that is the death knell for comedians when you start to think that an open vest on stage is a great idea.
Like stop thinking you're sexy like that to me is. I'm not that I've ever been tempted to think that, but you know I mean like. it's always like remember who you are as a person. Don't start ever thinking, because you have fans, that you're this larger-than-life guy. You know, it's just you got to stay grounded or you're gonna really fall into kind of that type of a trap.
Well, I don't. it's also like for a woman. I mean how many women dress sexy on stage and a really well, Natasha Leggero pulls it off. Then how many other women? Dress like hot on stage and you stand up.
most of them. They, kind of like Whitney, will dress down. Yeah, you know, most of them dress down. there were like slacks and a jacket and a shirt or something there, something comfortable. Yeah, they're not trying to look hot.
Yeah, I find that when I see good-looking people on stage, if I think someone is, naturally that's how that person dresses. But, like you said, if it feels genuine, if it doesn't feel genuine, if I feel like someone is trying to Sexy it up on stage, male or female. I don't like it Like. I just know it's a different emotion for me. And maybe if I had any sex appeal I would do it.
Yeah, but I don't ever know. It's it count. you get something different than you're getting funny. Yeah, so they thought you're not getting funny out of that. You're getting something different, and now you have to.
you can might add funny to it, But it might be taking away from funny with this, like extra effort that you've put in to looking hot.
Yeah, like, and I made again. I can only look at my own Self image and it's like I've never thought of myself that way. So it's never been tempting for me. So maybe if it was tempting, or if I had like a half a fuck ability, I might like want to do that, but it's never been how I saw myself. So it's never been tempting to even think that way.
Also that a lot of people would dress that way because what they were really trying to do is get a sitcom. That was the big thing, right? Like there was, is like if you dress sexy on stage or you just hot or attractive on stage. It was what you were trying to do. is they're trying to, like, convey your comedy success into the big prize?
Yeah, which is, you could be Seinfeld or you could be Roseanne? Yeah, That was that was our thing when we were coming up. like when a guy, like when, I remember when Greg Geraldo got his show, Everybody's like, wow, Greg's got his own shows like that. That was the ultimate brass ring. And yep, you know, and and also we all knew that only a certain percentage of those actually lasted and, you know, Stayed on the air a few years, Yeah, And they kind of went away quick.
and then it became a problem, because then there's a stink on you, a failure. So you really had this like one shot as a rookie? Yeah, And to get. and so everybody was like trying to, like, put together almost an audition tape, seven minutes set. that told a story.
My story was never TV friendly. Blinks a lot. He likes prostitutes. That was never like.
Yeah, much my blinking has cost me in this business. How many fucking auditions I've gone on. I'm like, why didn't I get that? It was good that I realized. Oh, it's just I'm uncomfortable to look at, but that's what I was saying earlier.
So I don't think we should think of our business as being connected to show business anymore. It's just it's such a different thing. Yeah, especially what you and I do, because we mostly just talk. Yeah, right. So you and I mostly just talk on podcasts or on radio shows.
We have always done. It's like our thing is so different than the thing of this manufactured image that you're putting in television shows and Hi, the kind of people you're hired for, entertainment, news and all that kind of shit Like these. this is a different kind of business that they're in than us.
Yeah, it's something I've always kind of felt like. not, I don't mean an outsider in some dark way. I've just felt like that's not the path for me. At one point I would have loved to have done it, but I they just. there was never any desire from them.
I felt always felt rejected by it very, very early on. So you kind of like, realize that's never gonna be. Thank God for radio like, thank God for fucking dice and for opium Anthony Like. that's obviously what my career has been made on was those Things, and none of them were the quote-unquote, the business or television. I did all that stuff, though.
I did the business stuff.
I did television. I did sitcoms. I did it. I Literally have done most things. I started off doing a sitcom.
I did a sitcom. I went to a game show. I was on a TV game show. I went to sports commentary. I did the commentary for the UFC.
I've done all these things. but the UFC is the most freeing because it's really just something that I love and I just get to describe it and talk about it. But the other ones like they're just jobs like this, even as even a sitcom, as fun as it is. it's amazing to be able to work with cool and talented people, but You're working for a network. You're working for the production company.
You're engaged in some weird politics to make sure you get favorable Placings in the lineup on Tuesday night or Thursday night, hopefully Thursday, Maybe after Seinfeld, if you're lucky, like there was, like this weird Aspect to creating these shows. you're dealing with executives. It would give you notes that made no sense, like they have creative input and they're not particularly creative. It's a job. Yeah, and it's different than what we do in that We do wish we're just so, whether it's do your stand-up or through podcasts.
You're so free. You could kind of talk about anything. Imagine if there was no show like Opie and Anthony and You came to them. He said I I was saying I want to talk about. it's called monster rain.
Yeah, I'd like you guys to fund it. We're gonna talk about prostitutes. I'm gonna talk about times. I blew my friends. Yeah, and they do like get the fuck out of here.
That's it. What is a lot of rain? I'd say no. No, the advertisers gonna love it. We were seven and we traded sucks.
It's the heart. that's a hard sell on television. trading sucks.
You imagine being in the room with those people and them thinking there's any hope of this guy making it in show business?
Yeah, I mean the way. thank God for these ways around. like, you know again, radio embraced doing what you want to do and talk You slow news days. We're the thing. that's where your personal life comes out.
You have a four or five hour radio show and it's a slow news day and there's nothing to hit on. Everyone just starts spilling their guts. Yeah, you have to talk, and that's where a lot of that stuff came out. slow news days.
Well, it's so we got very fortunate in the timeline in which we came along. Right, because what happened was you got guys like Don Imus, who kind of started at all, right? He starts just commentary and talking shit on the radio and he's a wild man and a bad boy, and then Howard Stern takes it Completely different level and Howard Stern takes over radio all over the country, and then Opie and Anthony comes along, and Opie and Anthony Is the next stage because they have a different perspective on how to do a show. Yeah, it's a hang. Yeah, so you go in there and with us, especially with comics, we would just go in there and hang.
Yeah, that was all. it was. you'd go in there and hang out in the studio and everybody was cool and it was fun. Yeah, and that led the way to podcast, because they went to XM. So then they go to XM.
now you could swear. Yeah, so now we're doing ONA with swearing and we're, you know, you could tell crazy stories. But, and then that goes in a podcasting. It's like we came along as all these doors were opening, like we hit every green light. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
I didn't get into popping. I wish I had one. obviously now I do. I look back on it. But my contract doesn't allow for it may have early on, before they knew what podcasting, before the company knew a podcasting would be.
But you know, for the last X amount of years I haven't been allowed to do my own, but you're still doing the same thing.
Yeah, still talking. It's still the same thing. You're just doing it for a different company. You're doing it for serious, but if it's the same thing as doing a podcast, you're doing it just like ONA did it when they went to serious, or like Anybody else would. if you're, if you're just doing a show that you're putting together yourself.
Yeah, just talking.
I mean look, I do the UFC podcast with Matt like. even that I love, like it. We're talking specifically about one thing. Yeah, but it's how much fun it I get to hang out with Matt Sarah, who's a fucking hilarious, so funny, and talk to people I like, like, you know what I mean? Like.
it's just. it's a great Life like I look at it like I'm, like I get to do exactly what I want to do. It's everything I've always wanted, which was just to not have a schedule that I resented.
Yeah, and also again, this is not that other business. We talk about. the business is so phony. the business is bullshit. Yeah, like that's a different business.
I don't think we're in that business anymore. There's a few of us that still act and do stuff. But if you look the vast majority of comics today, and like what business are they engaging in? they're doing engaging the business of live.
Shows and podcasts. Yeah, primarily I have no desire to act like. that's another thing, too. People be like they see us on YouTube and like these situations are set up. It's like.
have you ever seen me act like you really think I could pull that off. I stink at it Like I don't enjoy acting, unless it's something I really like, and I'm so happy I don't have to worry about getting on TV again. I will probably never get another acting gig on TV and that's fine.
I don't really want to do it. It's the time involved in doing something like this. You can't do everything. You know, I would love to do everything. if I had multiple different lives that I could live simultaneously.
I'd have a ton of different careers, because I'm fascinated by a lot of different things. But you don't have that much time in the world, right? And if you want to act acting, it's like 16-hour days. Yeah, multiple days in a row, and if you enjoy that, that's great. I don't.
I don't enjoy that process and it's hard.
It's. I think I think it's harder than stand-up for me, obviously, because You can't address when it's not going well. Like if I'm having a shit set, I can immediately address it and let them know. and if it's, if it's, if I think it's Their fault, like we're all gonna have a rotten night, I'll make it miserable. But in an acting scene, it's like you just have to redo it where you can't break it and go.
this fucking sucks. These jokes are not good. What do we? this is poor writing? You have to just kind of muscle through it and smile, and I just I've never been good at that.
It's not because I don't, I have so much integrity. I'm just not good at it.
Like I. just I wish I was better at it. It's also you'd be better at if you were really interested in it.
Maybe yeah, I'm just too self-conscious like I'm self-conscious around my friends. I'm always. it's the thing about me. I hate the most, always self-conscious, and I don't know why. But when I act, it comes out like it's just.
it's obvious, you know, you can't hide that on camera.
Yeah, Boy, imagine, if you like, put all your fucking eggs in the sitcom basket.
I tried at one point, you know, early on I was like Like trying to be like try to get the seven minutes that I thought they would want. everybody wants the big deal in Montreal. Montreal rejected me for a decade and when I finally get up there, No one gave a fuck. like, you know the business, it has never been the path I thought I was gonna take ever. they've never wanted me and I accept that.
It's just very bizarre that something so beloved like an American institution, which was the, you know, the three-camera sitcom Yeah, multi-camera sitcom with in front of a live audience. It doesn't exist anymore. I think it's miss Pat, only I don't think anybody she's the only one that I know of that's doing. I'm sure there's probably a couple other that I'm just not aware of, But she's the only one, in terms of comics, that are starring right now, that I'm aware of. It used to be.
there was a ton of them, and I would have thought that as the more Entertainment venues opened up, meaning more networks, like when we were kids, when we were first Starting out in show business. There was only Fox, ABC, NBC and CBS. Yes, right, That was it. That was it. and then cable shows.
So then it became MTV and a bunch of different things came along and, like you could be on Remote control and MTV, like some people were, or you could be on this show or that show It's like. then it started to broaden. I would have never thought that as it Continues to go as wide as it is today, that sitcoms will all but vanish.
Yeah, never would have, I guess, because the idea like again, anytime these people touch things, anytime the business Becomes too involved in something, they they neuter it and they make it on. it's just not funny anymore. They have laugh track. So it did that writing didn't have to be that good, right? Yeah, the laugh tracks are what really killed it like, because the writing could be weak, but the laugh was the same.
So the writing didn't have to be good. Whereas live TV, if it wasn't good, you knew it wasn't good.
Yeah, there's. so there's shows that they do, where you can watch clips online That are without the laugh track. Yeah, the laugh track was added to it and it's.
It's abysmal, even mash, which I loved. growing up. I hated the laugh track.
I'm like what they added a laugh track, whether in Vietnam. Do you know what Korea?
Do you want me? Do you know what makes the only laugh track? I've ever liked? is you ever watch? Steve Coogan is hilarious and the he did.
I'm Alan Partridge. It's a British Show where he played a radio guy and it's a really funny show, and his laugh track, for some reason, didn't bother me like it. It worked as a device for some reason. But other than that, I've always hated them.
Well, you can do an organic laugh track, you know about those? No, so you what? you basically film a show without a laugh track and then you play the show to a live audience and record Their laughter. Okay. Yeah, that's the neat laughs, or at least honest.
Yeah, I know that there's shows that have done it that way.
What is that for you? think just to cut. actually, that might actually work.
Well, you have to do it that way if you're doing like a single camera show.
We're the same joke in front of the audience fired. I mean we did lucky Louie and we'd have to reshoot something. and Louie, but you got anything. you got. anything like this is a Comic.
he hated doing the same joke in front of the audience twice. Yeah, so you try to come up with something or he would just improv something crazy and like. it was a lot of fun, But it was. it was a challenge to try not to do the same joke if you could avoid it.
That was one of the fun things they did on news radio. We would do a take and then They would take a break and the writers would convey and then the warm-up guy would talk to the crowd, and then the writers would Come up with another line. Yeah, and then we bang it out right there and Try another line and then do it like three or four different takes, and the audience started to get Ready for the different joke. Yeah, at the end, and there was like three or four different ones and they'd pick one. But it's like the pressure of that moment was there, created some of the best ideas, for whatever reason you feel dishonest doing the same.
Joke twice like yeah, there's something about it where you feel like you're. you're like, hey, we all know I'm lying right now. It's it's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it just doesn't feel right and the crowd is much more appreciative when they know you're giving them something different.
yes, um, but yeah, I feel terrible doing this. say like some guys when they do a stand-up special, like, I've never done a Retake of a joke and again, not that I don't think any of them needed it, But it's just I. I'm too embarrassed to do the same joke twice to the audience. I would rather like I dropped my closing joke on a special Because I fucking tripped on it like an idiot and I just I couldn't go back and redo it, Like I just have to close or something else. It's just too humiliating.
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Go to try arm com Rogan and enter the code Rogan to receive 15% off your first order. Yeah, well, the sitcom thing is also it's. it's not really stand-up. It's very different, right? Yeah?
so you're just trying to Interact with these people the best way possible to get the story through and get the laughs, and the audience is aware of that. So they're in on this process that that normally never get to see where a stand-up. You always see where the stand-ups on stage and you know, they're telling the joke and the audience is laughing. But with a sitcom you never get to see how the sausage is made, Alright, so these are the people in the audience. right cameras are moving around.
So it's an experience on top of just. you're watching the show, but you're there, live. You're watching it be created. So you're also watching someone fumble through their lines and start laughing like that would happen, or we would crack. Yeah, like when I did, I used to scenes at the Indy dick and I was always.
he's so funny, I would always break. I don't, we didn't be in the middle of, and it would do like take two, and I Like pinch myself or slap myself or do something to try to be more serious and get through it. but there's that too that the audience is seeing. so if they see, you retake a Scene, but at least you're adding new lines. So now it doesn't feel like they're burdened by seeing the same thing over again.
now. It's like oh wow, This is how they do it. So they just sometimes they just come up with new stuff on the fly.
It's also weird when I don't look at the audience like as a stand-up. you want to just look at the crowd, right? But if we were shooting something on the side stage and the crowd would just watch it on a monitor Even if I do Gutfeld on Fox and I'm usually sitting next to Greg where I see the audience But once in a while, if I sit in the seat, right, the audience is here. It's so hard to just live in this environment without just turning and looking at the the crowd. I hate not seeing the crowd and other guys.
it doesn't bother, but it drives me crazy to not be looking directly at the audience.
Yeah, it's an extra level of fake. right, because you know, it's fake because you're not really in an office. You know, it's fake because there's no wall. You know, it's fake. There's a whole audience of people and you're trying to act normal.
Yeah, so you're trying to act normal, you know, in an environment where everyone knows it's fake. Yeah, you're trying to make it real. but at least if you're on a single camera, show, you know. if you're doing so like modern family or something like that, you get a single camera and Like. it's just like you're filming a movie.
There's no audience. You have to peace, So you can be real in moments and you're not worried about not looking at the crowd that's laughing at you.
Right, and if you have to redo it, it doesn't matter, because it's not a bunch of people who you need a reaction from waiting Waiting. Yeah. Yeah, I just that whole world. I, just it, became so exhausted trying to be in it, and I'm so happy that I don't have to exist in it. And again, there's nothing to do with me thinking.
I'm too good for it. It's just I wasn't good in it. Okay, it's not where I'm comfortable. I don't feel funny there. I don't feel welcome there.
Weren't you on, lucky Louie? That's what I said, but look, that was a great. It's one of my favorite things I ever did. But again, it's Louie's writing right, right. So, I mean the jokes were pretty fucking rough and you know, he would go really hard.
and the crowd? They had never seen any of the episodes like. the whole thing was shot before any of them aired. So there was no week-to-week growth with familiarity. We had to shoot all.
we shot 13 actually, and then they just aired. So the crowd, we were resetting with each crowd. They had no idea who. we were no idea what the characters were. But it's one of the most fun things I ever did.
loved, lucky Louie.
Yeah, and then he goes from that and does his own show a massive. Yeah, which was a huge. Yeah.
I mean it just. it just worked. HBO. I thought, fucked up by not picking it up for a second season. They allowed a few critics, even though it had a lot of viewers.
They allowed a few critics to shit on it enough to to get it canceled. That's what happened. I know it's what happened. Yeah, Louie, they talked about yeah, because it was actually week-to-week going up in viewers. It was just.
I thought HBO made a mistake by not at least giving it season two.
Interesting that they would allow the opinions of people who are Their professional critics. Yeah, they're professional like shitters on things. Yeah.
Well, they were also. they had shows like Sopranos and six feet under and like it. they were built on critical acclaim And things that people love, sex in the sea, all this stuff where you know It got awards and, like HBO, was like the first ones getting awards. So when something, when the Chris you're going we don't like this, I think immediately they're like, all right. Yeah, it's not worth Doing.
but yeah, that was kind of always heartbreaking. But I always think it's because I was attached to it, Like I really am a fucking black spot on the lung, like anything like that. It's like it's. it's gonna go away.
I don't think it's that. I think it was Louie's first time at one of those things He didn't have the kind of control that he had when he went over and did Louie. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I think.
The writing, though, like they didn't really. I'm sure they fucked with him where I didn't see it. But we would run through the rehearsals And it always seemed to pretty much we would kind of shoot what I thought we were gonna shoot. I just the critics. there was one critic who, like weeks into this series, Went after it and Louie always thought like that was one of the things that sunk us.
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