My Best Friend’s Horrible Surprise (ft. Laren)

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Every Sunday's Father's Day.

What the fuck?

That was pretty good, right?

Daddy gang, happy new year.

It is 2024 and it is your founding father back at it again

for another episode of Call Her Daddy.

I am sitting here with someone, a special someone,

one of your all time favorites.

Introduce yourself.

It's Laryn.

Laryn and I are back.

Daddy gang, we are sitting at my house.

Laryn just got in from her holiday vacation

and we are sitting in my living room.

The fireplace is on and the minute she walked in the door,

I said, don't speak a word.

Let's save it for the podcast.

I need to hear all about your adventures

and what you did on your holiday break.

So we're going to give a little recap today

of what Laryn and I both did on our winter breaks.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Hi, okay.

Hey.

Tell me everything.

How are you feeling?

What's your vibe right now?

I'm in like such a calm mood

because I feel like when you come back from new year,

like I actually, I was like watching on TikTok this morning.

So many people were like, I have the Sunday scaries.

Like I saw this girl.

Did you have Sunday scaries yesterday?

A little bit.

Like Matt was going to bed being like, fuck,

like I have Sunday scaries.

I like shoved an edible in his mouth.

I'm like, just calm down.

But I will say I was like, I don't know.

I think I had them, but weirdly I knew

because we were going to be together,

I felt less stressed because I feel like when you're alone.

We can ease into the week together.

I'm the type of person, if I'm like getting Sunday scaries

or I'm anxious about something,

like if someone's just sitting next to me.

Everything's okay.

Yeah.

If you just sit in your corner and don't talk to me,

but like, I feel your presence.

Yes.

I'm good.

I was, that's why I was actually happy too.

Cause Matt worked from home this morning,

which he never does.

He usually goes into the offices

and I usually am the one working from home

and he works from home and I felt so cozy

cause I kept just walking into his office

and he was like, why do you keep coming in here?

And I'm like, because we need to be together.

And we work at the same company.

Also, I think like coming off like the holidays

where you were with Matt, what 24 seven

and like doing stuff 24 seven.

So it's like, Oh, being alone.

Like I know, I know.

Like I had my flight today

and it was like a four hour flight here.

I was like, Whoa.

In like two weeks, like I haven't spent like.

Time apart from your boyfriend.

Yeah.

And I was like, Oh.

We, okay, so let's get into it.

So what did you do over?

I love how I like have no idea what you did.

Like, I know what you did, but I don't know what you did

because we purposely were like, let's sit for the pod.

Okay, what did you do?

Tell the daddy gang.

I went to St. Martin for a week.

I went on vacation with my boyfriend's family

which was so fun.

His brother and sister-in-law are my age.

So, and he's a little bit older.

I think the four of us get along so well.

That's so nice.

And his parents are amazing.

Like I love his parents.

There's nothing better than like,

I remember the first time that I met Matt's family.

Obviously it's not like you're like close

with your family when you,

like their family, right when you meet them.

And you also can't really fully tell the vibe.

But once you get closer with your like partner's family

there's nothing better when you realize you like them.

Oh, fully.

I think the past like seven years

it's just been me, my mom and my brother.

I want that feeling of like more than three people.

Oh my gosh.

I'm literally, how does this always happen?

I'm already getting teased.

Oh my God.

I thought you were about to start crying.

No, no, no, no.

I'm just like smiling that like, it was such a nice trip.

And it's just like so fun feeling

like you have a bigger family.

I've really been missing that for a lot of my life.

We get to St. Martin.

We had a villa for the six of us.

Bougie lair.

And I'm a boat hoe.

I.

You are.

I.

Have we told the Spotify story?

No, we haven't.

Okay.

I am like the not boat hoe girl.

Like you, daddy gang, I get the worst seasickness.

And so does Matt.

I remember one of the things that we like fell in love

is when we were in beautiful Italy together.

And we were going from like somewhere in Italy

to like go to Capri or Capri

or however the fuck you say it.

Our pronunciation this episode, we're going down the drain.

And I remember like, we realized in that moment,

like, oh my God, we're in beautiful Italy.

Like we're looking over the Amalfi coast.

And Matt and I were both like, I'm gonna vomit everywhere.

And we both just get so bad seasickness.

But I signed my spot of Hydeal.

And I remember Lauren and like gets me a gift

for like my big deal.

And she's like, I'm so proud of you.

And she blindfolded me with Matt.

I was like, I went to Matt and I was like, Matt,

like I wanna plan like a day for Alex.

Like I wanna do something that like

she wouldn't do for herself.

And like, I want it to be like an experience.

And like, I had a few ideas.

Like my first idea was that we rent,

because it was also COVID during this time.

It was like coming on the end of COVID,

like things weren't fully open yet.

And like, we also had no friends in LA.

Yeah.

So it was like, okay, like what's something fun

we can do just the three of us that's different

and then three of us just getting drunk in the hot tub

like we do every other night.

So true.

And my first option was renting a limo for the three of us.

Oh, just to cruise around.

Yeah, and we were gonna cruise around the limo.

Oh, living large.

Yeah.

And then I was like a boat, like who doesn't love a boat?

And I'm like, Matt, I have the best idea

in the entire world.

We're gonna rent a boat for the day.

And I was like, I might need a little financial backing

on this one.

You're like, Matt, you pay for the boat, but it's my idea.

Okay, so we can split the idea.

You just take the full check.

And he's like, okay, Lauren, sure.

But it wasn't Matt kind of like,

I don't know if Alex loves boats.

And you're like, no, no, no, this will be a good one.

If you put your credit card down big enough.

Yeah, I was like, yeah, like,

but if it's like big and just for us,

like if it's a big boat, yeah, she'll like it.

So I remember you guys unblindfold me

and literally I was like, oh, Lauren definitely got this

because there's no fucking way in hell

that this is Matt's surprise to me.

Like the fuck, Lauren?

And you were like, it's gonna be fine.

Like, you're not gonna get seasick.

And Matt and I end up getting so sick.

And Lauren is like jamming to Dua Lipa

at the front of the boat, like taking pictures.

She's looking so cute.

And Matt and I are like,

when is this boat ride over?

I wanna die.

Anyways, oh, boats, boats.

So you're a boat ho, I'm not a boat ho.

So you get to St. Martin, what happens with the boats?

I was just like really looking forward to like our boat day

and like we had like this boat day

and we like sailed around the island.

There was unlimited rum punch.

I really indulged in the rum punch.

Were there any snacks?

Oh my gosh, one of the best meals.

It was just like, they grilled on the boat,

but like they grilled.

Yeah, there was a grill on the boat.

What kind of boat is that?

It was like a big catamaran, it was nice.

Oh my God, there's a grill on the boat.

Yeah.

So they're grilling.

They're grilling, there's music.

I love floating.

I was floating in the ocean, we anchored.

There was all the big yachts anchored around us

that were like doing a day trip from St. Barts.

I am so proud of my ability to be the life of a boat

that for my hinge profile, I wrote on my hinge profile.

Back in the day, back in the day.

Yeah, back in the day, back in the day.

I'm about to have my anniversary.

Wait, what day is it?

Wait, yeah, because you guys met two years ago

on New Year's, right?

Our first kiss was on New Year's two years ago.

And then when did you guys officially start dating?

What's your anniversary?

January 29th.

Yeah, daddy gang, we're coming up on my two year anniversary.

I'm so proud of you.

That's a whole nother topic.

Okay, so you're the life of the party.

What did you put in your hinge profile?

Oh, I have a stomach of steel.

Nothing can get me boat sick.

Take me out on your boat.

I love the multiple tiers of like one,

you're looking for someone rich.

You're like, take me out on your boat.

Two, I'm the life of the party.

Wow, Lair.

Okay, so you were the life of the party.

Were his parents kind of surprised?

Like, had they not seen that side of you?

They have like a little bit here and there.

I just was gonna say, sorry to cut you off,

but we need to make sure we post the photo

if you're okay with it.

You went to his family party in a shark costume, right?

Oh my gosh, so like, I really, really like his family

and like, I'm really comfortable

like being weird around them.

And the first time I met his whole extended family,

it was his family reunion.

And there's a talent show

that everyone has to participate in.

And my boyfriend was like, like, you need to do a talent.

Like people will look down on you if like you show up

and like, don't do a talent.

And I was like, okay, like I'm going in.

And I don't tell anyone what my talent is gonna be

except my boyfriend.

And I can do a dolphin call.

Wait, what?

Put your microphone a little away from you

and do it for us.

Oh my God.

Henry's like, mom.

The dogs are like, the fuck?

Wait, how did I not know that our whole life?

How did I not make you do that in our younger videos?

It was a new, I didn't discover it really till, yeah.

I didn't really discover it till high school.

I'm curious, Lauren, like how does one discover

to do a fucking dolphin call?

I think I was just like drunk and like being weird.

Okay, so.

So I decide like for my talent, for the talent show,

I'm gonna do the dolphin call.

But I can't just like get on stage and do the dolphin call.

The stage being his back deck.

And I'm like, I gotta ramp it up.

And I'm like, I need to get a dolphin costume

so I can walk out in the dolphin costume

and flap around doing my dolphin call.

I waited too long on Amazon

and there were only shark costumes left.

Oh my God, wait, yeah, it is a shark.

It's a shark.

So I got one of those like, you know how for,

you had the Christmas Santa blow up?

I got a shark blow up inflatable costume.

So I walk out on stage and I play like ocean sounds.

And I'm like, imagine, close your eyes.

You're sitting on the beach, sipping your pina colada.

You look out into the ocean and what do you see?

Oh, my fucking.

And then my boyfriend.

And no one knew.

And my boyfriend gets hard.

No, my boyfriend is in the corner with the hose,

spraying me with the hose, adding the water effects

as I'm jumping, doing the dolphin call.

I am obsessed.

I didn't know that part of the story.

I'm obsessed how involved he is.

So involved, so proud.

The crowd went wild.

I won the talent show.

Wait, what the fuck?

Oh, I also love how he's like, I got you, babe.

Let me do Baywatch for you.

Yeah, at first he was like full support,

like Mean Girls moms splashing with the water,

being like, yeah, that's my girlfriend.

But he's so competitive that once I won the talent show,

he was like, well, no, fuck that.

Like, you're just making her win

because it's her first year.

Like, I wanted to win.

Stop.

Okay, so, okay, but that, Ellie, you're right.

Like you putting yourself out there

and like being fun and goofy that,

his family has seen this side of you.

Yeah.

Overall, you would say St. Martin was good.

Overall, St. Martin was so fun.

And that was your first trip

with your boyfriend's family, right?

Yeah, and then we were there for a week.

So like, that's kind of like a long time

to be like in a house with like six people.

And like, that was the first time

I haven't spent Christmas with like my family.

So that was a big decision to be like,

I'm gonna spend Christmas with your family

instead of like my own.

So then you saw your mom though and your brother.

Yeah, so we were in St. Martin for a week with his family.

And then I still wanted to see my mom and brother

and her fiance.

So then we connected in Miami.

So then we drove up to Fort Lauderdale

and spent four nights in Fort Lauderdale with my family.

You know, something before we,

before I tell you about my trip

was something that I realized was I posted you,

I posted you like a month ago

or something when we were together.

And I feel like there's new listeners here

and they're like, wait,

like why does Lauren not have social media?

And so a whole nother part of why I don't know

what Lauren has been up to,

why she doesn't know what I've been up to

is like, we're not watching each other's social media.

And it reminded me because Lauren texted me on break

being like, oh my God, like my mom just showed me her phone.

Oh yeah, my mom, like when I,

it was like one of the rainy days in Fort Lauderdale

and like everyone's like sitting around on their phones.

My mom was like, oh Lauren, like you need to check out,

like take my phone and look at my Instagram.

Like you got to check out Alex's outfits.

Like she is popping off on her outfits on her ski trip.

And you were, did you style yourself?

I had a, well, a lot of them were like looks

that I had like put together.

Some of them were styled myself.

Some of them I had like styled previously

that I was like, where should I wear this stuff?

And then I'm like, ooh, let's go to the snow.

That white outfit.

So cute.

Do you own those fluffy boots?

The big fluffy boots that you wore with the tight suit?

Yes.

Like a little cat woman, bear woman vibe?

I know, I was so annoyed

because people were commenting saying I like Photoshopped it

and I looked insane and I was like.

Photoshopped your body?

Yeah, and I was like, I did not Photoshop my body.

Like, fuck you.

But I love that outfit.

The outfits were- Do you own the boots?

No, I don't own the boots.

But the outfits were popping off

and I was just laughing thinking about,

first of all, that your mom is my hype woman

being like, Lair, you gotta look at her.

You gotta check her out.

But can you remind everyone,

like one, why don't you have social media?

And two, how long has it now been without social media?

It's been over two years now with no social media.

I didn't realize it was that long.

Two fucking years?

Yeah.

Damn.

I know.

So you must really now just be so used to it.

I'll backtrack.

I haven't had social media now for over two years

and I deleted it because when we moved to L.A. together,

I got a ton of random followers of just that time

and I got up to like, I had like 200,000 followers.

So like, I was like-

That's a lot.

Yeah, yeah.

And through that, I was spending like

a disgusting amount of time on my phone,

like on Instagram and reading comments

and just being so obsessed with like what I was posting

and what I was doing.

And I think I jolted awake when I moved to Chicago

and like in L.A., everyone has followers

and is into Instagram and is like posting looks and outfits.

When I moved to Chicago and like no one does that,

I was like, oh, like what?

Like what?

Whoa, how did this get to this point?

And like, what is this?

And like, I don't wanna do this.

And like, so I deleted social media

and it's been over two years now.

And I've never like considered,

I haven't had a moment where like,

I've wanted it back since.

But this past Christmas, it was like a rainy day

and like everyone was sitting on their phones

like scrolling social media.

And I was like looking over my mom's shoulder

and I was like, oh, can I like take your phone?

And like, cause she follows my friends.

Like, I'm like, can I go look at my friends like Instagram?

It's like, I don't even know

what like my roommate's Instagram looks like.

Cause like, I don't-

Right, you don't, you don't have social media.

Yeah, like I don't see people ever.

And like, I was like stalking people

and like even sitting there in like that little moment

of like stalking people for 10 minutes,

I like started comparing my vacation

to what everyone else was doing for the holidays.

And I was like-

Dude, that it's literally-

Like 10 minutes.

Cause it's just comparison.

And as Kelsey Ballerini says,

comparison is the thief of joy.

Amen.

That's so wild.

Two years and then you're like,

wait, let me see.

And you're like,

you're getting insecure about like your trip.

Yeah.

And like, my mom will post when we're together.

Cause like, she likes to like post for,

and like show off her kids and stuff.

And like the week before, when I was in St. Martin,

like no one was like posting anything

and I was wearing like no makeup.

Like I like didn't care.

And then when I realized like getting ready for a dinner,

like, oh, my mom's gonna take a picture.

My mom's gonna post it on social media.

Like, I guess I need to put on makeup

or like, let me do my hair a little bit more.

And like the whole week prior,

like I wasn't thinking about that once.

And it's just like, oh, like I know people are gonna,

like I know that I'm gonna be photographed tonight

and that it's gonna go to like friends

who don't see me often.

Like it literally, I was thinking like,

oh, like my college friends,

like my high school friends who like don't see me often

and like literally might not know

what I look like right now.

Or gonna like see me and like judge me.

And like, right.

I wanna look good.

I wanna look good.

But like, normally like people just don't have access

to me in that way.

And it's like so beautiful.

It's enviable, honestly.

Like, it's so fascinating hearing you

just for 10 minutes being like,

I immediately was.

And that's, I think something that I don't need to preach.

It's just like anyone listening to that, there you go.

If you're spending too much time on social media,