Shay Mitchell: Let Him Go, You Deserve Better [VIDEO]

I see it because I'm a crazy person, like there's certain things I need to...

Okay, this is passion fruit, Onda, but I made you a passion fruit spritzer, so I actually got passion fruit before coming over here. I'm just kidding.

I lied, I got it delivered. I have two kids. Okay, I love you, but like, Thank you, postmates.

So I had passion fruit, like the guts of it, I put in one whole one and then over ice and then just passion fruit. Onda. But like,....

Okay, everybody listening, let me give you a little backstory if you don't know who Kate Bailey is. Actually, this is what I was going to say.

The only reason it's appropriate. The amount of times that we've canceled on each other is because we have a mutual friend. Shea and I have been like, we're going to do it this month. I canceled on you, you canceled on me. I was like, it's good that we have a mutual friend.

Her name is Kate Bailey. Kate Bailey. Kate Bailey is my publicist. Kate Bailey is your very, very good friend. Of how many years?

Truly, every time that she's with you, I feel like she's having the best time unless she's with me. And I'm like, What makes you so fun? What is your social life like right now?

I say that and then I was just at a concert last night. I think what it is is my perspective on things may be good. So even if Kate's stressed out, I kind of am the opposite. I'm not stressed out or I kind of feed off of people's energy. And I want to support you.

I'm like a real energy person.

Or, like he does this profession, let's see what that's like. But as long as I was in control and it was my decision to do things and I felt comfortable, I was good to go.

If you were to look at the trajectory of my past, there is no type. It's a vibe, I love it, it's a vibe it really is.

Like, was there any theme after relationships?

I really have awesome experiences from my past and they were great guys. We just weren't right for each other.

I'm like, I still talk to Marlene King all the time and I'm like, thank you for saying yes in that callback, you know? And like, it changed my life, I could never talk badly about it. And I love it. And I love, you know, when they do the spinoffs, and I'm always like, That's amazing, that's awesome. I love the fact that I was a part of so many people's lives and a really important part. Like for me, like, watching the OC like, that was my thing, you know, Gossip Girl, that was my thing.

So when people come up and they're like, I loved you, you know, I grew up with you. I'm like, that's awesome and the fact that I got to play the character that I did is, like, even more amazing.

I don't love a title.

Like, I don't want to label my sexuality, I don't want to label my relationship, I don't like I never wanted to be a wife.

Like, I don't, I don't, I don't want to be put in a category.

But like in five or 10 years, I don't know, I don't know, I just I never know. And I never want to put myself in a position where I feel like constricted.

And that was the thing when people were like, how do you know how to play this? If you haven't been in a relationship with a girl like, what? How do I know what it's like to like somebody loves? Like? I hated those questions and that's what I would always get like, how do you know how it feels?

Or, like, how can you play this character if you're not a lesbian? Like, what, I don't know, I know what it's like to like somebody, it's the same shit.

And for you to be like, I don't give a fuck.

That was a loud gulp.

That was off, you did say that, right? Okay, thank you.

Okay, you're welcome. Okay, wow, my hand is cold.

Is the term baby daddy insulting to you? Because I feel like Nick Cannon really has put a little downer on that one for everyone, no one wants to be called a baby daddy anymore, so it's insulting to you.

He's not Nick Cannon, he's more than my baby daddy. And so I think that there is, like, I love the word partner, some people don't, some people don't love it.

Like, you're never going to please anybody, so let's just get that out of the way. Totally. For me, I like the term partner, he is my partner.

He's my partner in a lot of things, He helps me so much with my business. Obviously, we're partners in raising our girls together, he's my partner in life that we're living right now and I like it.

You know, and I'm always like, and not because I'm like, like, I want it.

Like, we weren't girlfriend and boyfriend at that point, but I love the I love, I love that, like I'm like his, I'm like his girlfriend, like we are friends.

Like, we were just talking, we found out that we were neighbors and we started hanging out. I'd go to his basketball games. Like, we just started hanging out as friends. And then, you know, we tried to, like, make it work in more than a friend way.

Didn't? We tried it a couple times, didn't work and then we took some time apart and then I think it was like four or five years or something.

And then randomly, a mutual friend just kind of connected us together together, and it was like, Third time's a charm, so.

And my parents have been married for like, 38, maybe even 40 years, and they've had an amazing relationship. But it just wasn't something that I wanted. I didn't feel the need to, like, I didn't feel that a piece of paper and a big celebration and a ring would like justify my love.

And I'm like, if a man was saying that, they'd be like, Oh, he never thought he was going to get married. Like, Okay, dope. I like that you're saying it, though. Because it's really healthy to not just keep doing what the fuck came before us and not questioning it.

For all of those people, I love it and amazing, but I feel like for me, it just wasn't necessary. And that's not to say that I don't believe in something. I like, Hey, I'd love to have a commitment ceremony, maybe in like, I don't know, 10 years, whatever the like. If it ever happens, I could look at him and be like, Hey, we should have a celebration.

Cause we just did that look at our girls, or, like, in high school, and like, we crushed it.

We went through storms and we are here and we are standing and we're like, high five. Cause we just did that. Like, let's make a commitment to this family and to raising these girls and or kids at that, whatever. But like, I would be all up for that because sometimes I think the celebration happens before you've even been through some storms.

Matt works with Drake.

Take me back to, like, more beginning stages of, like, building trust around this type of lifestyle.

It's hard because I love what we have, you know what I mean? So yeah, it's like, it's difficult. But then at the same time, we just talked and they're away in South America and I'm like, Are you having fun? what are you guys doing?

Like, there's also that element, because I feel like in the same way that I have with my friendships. Like those are so successful because I trust them. And there's communication and not that it's the same. But like, there's trust and there's communication with us. And it's not always perfect by any means, but there has to be trust.

And I can't think about other scenarios or like, think about hypothetical situations if it ever were to come out or anything. There's like, deceit, any of that then, like, I'll deal with it then. But I also can't live my life worrying about what he's doing, he is living his own life. We are two individuals that have come together and chosen to, like, have kids together and like, have a family together.

But at the same time, he is like doing his own thing, and I love that for him. Like he's having fun, he's crushing it, he's so good at what he does.

And I love that he's with his friends, getting to work and have fun, you know, totally, so I love that. But like, as long as there is communication, once that is broken for me, then it's done.

And that's a known thing that we have. So as long as he knows that, and I know that, like, I feel like we're good.

We're having a great time. Like, and he's going to do what he's going to do. But then there are, like, the spiral moments. I remember I used to, if he was like, in fucking Milwaukee or fucking Texas, or, yeah, they always would go to like, the worst places. But that's when I know, like, you're desperate.

Like, you're going to find some type of like. So I would always be like, Oh, if they're going out tonight, I would like spiral and like, look up. Like the bar that I knew they were at, and then I would go to like the Instagram and then I would be like, Oh, who's like at the bar? And if they tagged anyone, I would go to that girl's Instagram and like, look for him in the background and then be like, Oh my God. There he is, like, he's standing next to that girl, like, he's really close to that girl.

Like, what's happening? And then I would text him and be like, Hey, like, how's your night? and like, it's a normal. Like. I always used to be embarrassed to admit that. And I was like, I was in love with this person, I was in a relationship with this person and I cared about this person.

And I think jealousy and anxiety in relationships is can be normal, depending on, like the level of it. So I'm wondering, like, because this is like a very public touring facing situation. How do you not spiral in moments? And I don't even mean now, I mean, like, beginning, Oh my gosh, no, no, no, no.

I could do the exact same thing, but it got to a point where I was like, Okay, so if he did, then what? or if anybody at that point, if he did, then what? I'll be okay, I'll keep it moving. And it wasn't meant to be. But that is how I live my life.

And once you think about it like that, I don't want that, then if you can take him from me, then he's yours. I'm good and I can keep it moving. Be there for my kids. Or that's another story, but like, in terms of us, then our story ends, and that's okay.

I still have my life to live. I cannot live my life like I did in my twenties. Because I did do that. And it's like, for what, I wasted so many sleepless nights, for what?

Did that change how we acted? No, you're going to do the guys, the girls, whatever we're going to do, what we're going to do.

Regardless if you're staying up at night, not sleeping, stalking and Instagram. He's still going to do what he's going to do. He's not going to be like, Well, Alex is probably up looking at the club's Instagram, trying to, like, you know, zoom into this. That's not going to stop him. So like, what is that? You just lose sleep.

And I do, and if that's not with me, I don't want to force that.

And I love your advice too, cause I know Kate has always said, like, you are like, almost like the friend therapist, like all your friends go to you. And I feel similar with my friend group of like. You have to almost like back out of it and look at it like from a third pov of like, what would you tell your friend? And I feel like a lot of women listen to this podcast being like, Yeah, but Shay? Like, I'm so in love with him. But I just had that like feeling almost every time. He's always doing boys nights, he's always kind of like, out.

And I just feel like I'm not fully a part of those moments and I sit at home. But like, when we're together, our relationship is great. But he makes me feel really insecure, like, What do I do?

Like, it's healthy, whatever we get it, but like, you shouldn't be feeling that way in a healthy relationship. And if you are, then maybe it isn't the right one.

I don't want to constantly be living in a state of anxiety, wondering where they are, what they're doing. I actually love the fact that he's traveling with the biggest person and like, you get to see all of that. And if you still come back, then, like, I'm the baddest bitch, you know what I mean?

Like, that's what I feel like, and if I don't, then like, cool, go be with her and then I'll keep it moving too. Like it just wasn't meant to be, and I'm such a believer of that.

I feel like that's why my perspective on life and different experiences. If I miss a plane, I was like, Oh, there was a reason for that. Like, that is how I live my life. And let me tell you, it's a lot more peaceful than what it was before. I had this sort of like real realization about how it works for me and how it should be.

So, like, there's always, if you break it down. Like, I wanted to be with him because of the status and the money and the lifestyle. And I loved it and I didn't want to lose it. And I was willing to maybe look the other way because, like, I love that.

Now, in hindsight, I'm like, that was perfect for where I was in that moment. I absolutely loved that moment in my life. Now I would never put up with that.

Like, then I'm taking away my time and living my life. And like, spending quality time with friends or people that are here watching somebody else's move. They're going to do it if they're going to do it, and I can't stop it. So, like, it's not healthy, we need to cut it out.

It's too short. I don't want to look back on my life, dedicating so many of my, like, freshest days to doing that.

Did you always picture you were going to have kids?

No, I knew that I wanted to experience that.

Did you ever lose yourself in the beginning stages of trying to navigate? Like being a mother, being also Shay Mitchell independent, successful woman that wants to have both.

I was like, No, a piece of me is dying. I'm going to be a mother. Like, I'm now going to be a mom. And she was like, Okay, like, that's amazing. I was like, No, I'm a mom now.

Like, I am a mother, she's like, Okay, amazing. Like, not understanding. And I think what I had to come to an understanding with is that, yes, old Shay did. A part of me did have to be put to rest. I am a mother now.

I wasn't beforehand like, and it does change. There's a leaf that turns when you get pregnant, and like, from the moment you see that you are pregnant on that stick, it changes. And that life that you lived before is over.

And that's okay, because there's a new life, like there's a new chapter, like a new relationship, and that's it's fun and it's exciting.

It's also scary, and, you know, at that point it was also a little bit lonely. Because, like, your partner won't understand. They don't go through the same thing, they don't understand the changes and the sacrifices that we make.

Especially being somebody who also, you know, was very active, like in my work and you know, my social and everything. It was like, I have to take a pause. I was fortunate to be able to act up until the point where I was like eight months, but still, I had to take a moment.

I had to take a break whereas he didn't, and so that was really difficult for me when I was pregnant.

Finding their like, regaining their identity after they just like, gave birth now they've, like, their kid's alive and well, and they're like, Fuck, who am I independent of being a mother?

Like, my heart beats in them. But I also need to continue to do things for myself and for me to feel rested. For me to feel like, you know, I've done what I needed to do. Because then I'm a better mother when I can come back and like, I feel good, you know?

And I think that that thing, it is really hard, especially after, like, I always say, I love a baby shower. I think that's great, even though I did mine at like, magic, Mike, what?

I also think there needs to be like another, like a postpartum sort of baby, like a mama shower after, because it's all fine and dandy. When you have that celebration, when the baby's in your stomach and like, things are cool, there's a million beautiful flowers and friends and all of that around you.

There needs to be something after when you're in the postpartum, when you're in the bed by yourself, or maybe with your partner. Like in and feeling like a mess, feeling like if you're breastfeeding or you're feeding them with a bottle.

Like, you just don't feel your best, there needs to be a celebration for you. At that moment. I'm like, I want to start, you know, the mama shower, something where you have all your friends come. I needed a flower crown then.

When the babies were crying, when Atlas was screaming, when the house was a mess. I need that, like, you know, that kind of like group and party then.

This is like ASMR because I'm crunching these passion fruit, is it?

Um, independence means that, like, I can make my own moves and do what I want to do, and like, when I want to do something, I do it. I don't know. Listen, let me tell you something.

This is.

When I was how old driving age when I got my first car, my parents got me a car.

And I was so excited, drove it around everywhere, me and my girlfriends. I'd pick them up. You know, as you do, you're like, just got my license. Let's drive to McDonald's.

And then one day I came downstairs and I was like, Where are my keys at? and I couldn't find them? And I was like, Wait, hi mom dad? Like, Where are my keys? And he's like, You don't have your car today? I was like, Wait, why?

Is it in the shop you getting it washed, you filling it up? Like, what's going on? He was like, you just don't have it today.

I took it and I'm like, Okay, so he's like, you want to drive it? can I drive yours? like, what's going on?

He's like, No, I bought it, I own it, it's mine, you don't have it. And I was like, Wait, what?

You bought it, it's my car, He's like, It's not your car, I bought it for you and I can take it away. And I was like, I didn't even do anything.

Then I'm like, trying to think, I'm like, did I do something last night? like, did he go through my? like? What is happening?

Nothing had happened. He just took my car away because he wanted to prove a point that, like, he bought it and I didn't own it. And just because, you know, he had got me the car at that point, like, he could also take it away. And I was so annoyed by it. But then I also was like, You're right.

He did buy it for me, but like, this is so fucking annoying. And from that moment, I was like, I don't ever want that to happen because I actually had to go somewhere that wasn't a drive-through.

And I needed my car at that time, so I was like,....

There was a bigger message with that. That was just really like, I need to own my shit because nobody can take that away from me. And everything just feels better. When I like, I did that, you know, and like, I don't need somebody else to do that for me, and so I've always been super independent.

When it's come to that, like, if I want to go to dinner, I'm going to dinner. I don't need to wait for somebody to invite me. Or like, No, no, no. If I want that on the menu, I'll order it. Because I bust my ass to do that. And I think there's such a power.

And with that, everything just tastes sweeter, it feels better, you rock it better when you're wearing that bag that you got. And again, gifts are nice and I'll always take them, and I love that.

So if you get that like, good on you and amazing, however, I feel like independence gives you a freedom to live your life.

As authentic as you want it to be. Like, I can do things that feel right to me without any sort of hesitancy. That, like, oh, so-and-so might not. Oh, this may get taken away from me, or if I act this way, I'll get kicked out. No, I don't want that, I never wanted that.

And I don't want my girls to ever do that. You will be independent, you will own your own shit, and you will always have it. Nobody can take that away from you.

And then it, like, offers up more questions. Then I can genuinely be like, What did you do today? You know? Totally different strokes for different folks. Like, again, this is just how it is for me. I've also seen it on the flip side, where like it works.

They work and they have the same friends and all that, and that also works. I agree, this is just how it works for me.

Like, my biggest insecurity is, I mean, I can be in rooms. Just recently, I was in Paris and I was around a group of people that were speaking so many different languages. And I was like, Oh my gosh, that is amazing. I feel like I could be spending more time educating myself instead of doing some other things. Maybe if I cut down some social media, I feel like I could have learned another language. I get on myself sometimes for that for education.

So I'm like, Okay, I need to work on this. But then I download Word of the Day and I feel like, Okay, I've done something, I'm trying. I feel like that's what, yeah, I mean, I think every day there's like different things.

Of course, I'm not like the most confident, most secure person. The reason why I sound like that is because I'm a big believer of.

Saying things and like, manifesting and words, being very powerful. You will never hear me say, Oh gosh, I'm such an idiot, or like, Oh, dumb me. I don't speak like that. I don't ever say like, I'm starving. I don't ever say like, I'm very careful with my words because they are very powerful.

And I am a big believer of manifesting. When I was doing bottle service, I had a cork board in my kitchen, had Teen Choice Awards, I had Blake Lively and Gossip Girl. It had a white Range Rover, it had palm trees. A lot of that has come true.

And I believe, like working hard in addition to just manifesting, but I am a very big believer of manifesting. And there's a difference with just saying, like, Okay, I will come into success, I will meet the love of my life. No, no, no.

You need to believe it, and you need to own it, and if that at the beginning is called delusion, then let it be. Because I was delusional when I was doing bottle service. But when I was rocking to your table asking you if you wanted Kettle One or Grey goose. I thought I was the biggest actress, like playing a bottle service girl, and I walked with that.

And I walked in the snow in my eyes. Like, to my office, to the bottle service place, being like bottle service place, to the lounge, being like, I own this. Like, No, not today. Like, I was an actress and I was living in the states, and I was, you know, I felt it so like delusional, manifesting all of that. I'm a big believer of saying and putting out there positive energy.

And so I don't know what the first thing was that you were asking me, Oh yeah. So it may come off as being super confident and secure. But even like Rihanna, like that TikTok that was going around where she's like, sometimes you don't feel confident, you just get up and you do it.

You do and you own it and you have that, because if you do and other people feel it, then like, you become that.

Also, I wasn't a good waitress, like I'd forget things. Hostess crushed I could always offer up a smile and take you to your table, but bottle service was just it was like, fun.

It wasn't fun, I actually hated going to it. No, I actually hated it.

I'm not good being disrespectful, like not that anybody is, but that like, I will not handle disrespect.

And then when you get into your twenties and your thirties and your forties and on. Like, it is a motherfucker of. Like, being selfish of your own shit, being there for your friends, like, what kind of friend are you?

I love women, I really do, because I just there's such a like, beautiful sensitivity and vulnerability to women and I love that. And I and I see it like through all ages, and now having two little girls like, I see it in them.

But then I also see the fucked up part where I'm like, we're watching these Disney movies. And like, everything is about, like, finding your happily ever after with like this prince.

Like, if you don't want to end up in a relationship at all, you don't have to like. I'm like, constantly doing this, cause I'm like, hey, like, she owns, she loves this Princess life which I want her to live. But I'm also like, this is a kind of fucked up when I'm watching this. Like, Happily, ever after doesn't mean you always have to end up with somebody, it doesn't always mean you have to have kids, you know? And so I always forget what I'm talking about.

What was the January? Oh, what kind of friend are you? No, this is great, okay, so on the friend level, like, I love my friends are my family.

They are, and I have a very small group of friends, I have a lot of acquaintances, I have a lot. I love people too. But I have a very small, tight knit of friends who I feel like have are my, they are my family. And they've, like, just held me down.

And why I feel like I can be the way that I am, it's because I have such a solid support group of people. You know, and they are there for me no matter what. And I feel that they are like that. Because it's a two way street like, I am there for them as well, and if anybody needed me, like any my girl, I will be on that plane.

I don't care, I will be there for you because life is crazy and it's wild. And sometimes you need me more than I need you, and sometimes I need you more than you need me, and so it's a beautiful relationship.

It's like a teeter totter of, like, I don't know, it's a teeter totter, like, I just feel like that is how my friendship is with people.

You don't know if they're all talking shit about each other. Like, if you have two solid friends, that's amazing, and like, own that, you know, and be thankful you have that. I have my childhood best friends and the amazing part is that I talked to them the least out of everybody else.

My best friend. I talked to her like once every three months and it doesn't even matter. I pick up, I talk to her and she's like, Cool, cool, cool, we got it. She gives me what I need, I give her what she, and I'm like, boom.

Like, I didn't even talk to her for the past three months.

And I'm like, Okay, go and she gives me the rundown. And that is like, I think should be more normalized. Like, you don't need to talk to someone every fucking day, you don't also need to feel like you need 15 people around you.

Because that also usually means, like, well, who's your? who's your one?

Truthfully, I didn't respect certain decisions she made. And I think once you lose a respect in any relationship, it's over. And I don't know if that's the Aries in me. Probably. I follow this account.

That's like Aries Facts or something, and like, every time they post, I'm like, Fuck, that's so true, that's me, I am an Aries. Um, but yeah, it sucked.

We were friends for a long time. And it got to a point where I just kind of like, you know, when you're like, with a guy, you're dating a guy and you like, see something that's so unattractive. It could be anything. It'd be like, I don't know his hands, or like hair in a certain place, and you're just like, and it's done.

It was, it happened. And, you know, we had a good amount of years together as friends, but I had to cut it again. Life is too short. I have a very limited amount of time that I get to spend with people and I want that to be quality over quantity.

And you're either in or you're out and like, same thing with me, you know, who's to say like, her life isn't better without me? But whatever, it's just, it wasn't meant to continue, and that's okay.

Then you go to a new part of your life, where you have kids and you meet friends who are your kids parents. And it's like you're always going through new iterations of your life. And welcome it, exactly.

And they haven't heard from that person all night. I think we kind of talked about this, yeah.

Like, Hey, just.

And also we have two kids. I want to know like around the area of what you're doing. So I can be like, if anything were to happen, I don't want to be like, I don't know where he is. Like, tell me the country you're in, you know, maybe the hotel would help.

I don't need to know anything else, but, like, I need to know certain things. So it depends what your boundary is like. Did you set it? So you're like, Hey, I want to hear from you in this amount of times.

Or, like, is it okay if they text you when they go to bed, like, what's your boundary? So it depends on that.

He's actually respecting. Have the best night. I just want to know you're safe, that's it. I'm like, what a great boundary.

That's it. But if you're so triggered by seeing him on the internet of like stalking him again, like, I go back to that version of myself. That's your first real red flag to be like, why are you so stressed? Yeah, because that's probably, you know, he's actually doing something. Shady, totally.

I don't have a doubt in my mind. Like right now with the partner that I'm with that. I'm like nothing, right? But when other relationships, I'm like, I knew we always fucking know you, always in your gut, kind of fucking know. I truly believe it.

If there's certain shit that they're doing, I think most of the times you do.

I don't want to keep you in a little room with blindfolds on, like every time, please go out there and see.

Like, this ex was there.

If you don't, we'll figure it out.

I want to talk about my part about it. They're nervous.

The wrong person might run from it and then let him run. It may seem like I'm like, let him go, let him free, but also like, Yeah, because if it's the wrong person, why do you want to waste your time with them anyways?

Do you want to go with Timmy, Tony, John and Frank all day long? You can go. I'm not holding you back. That will never be the life that I live, where you feel the need that you're last....

All of this is like, Shay's got it all together.

But no, in my 20s, all my friends would be like, wait a minute. Sammy has been there with me through like, thick and thin. And she knows those times where she's had to, like, sleep over. And I'm like, convulsing into a paper bag. I'm like, he did this.

Like, I've had those moments a thousand percent, but sometimes I think I brought them on me because I'm dramatic and wanted to experience that. Like, I don't know if I was listening to a song and I was like, I can't relate to this, let's relate to this, and then I'd go out and cause shit.

Because I was like, I'm telling you that tattoo is white, not because I wanted to get it for you to see. I wanted to feel it like I am that person where I want to feel it, so like I wanted to cause shit sometimes and I would.

And that was just me experimenting at that age. So like, I had so much drama in my life. And I would do things that would put me in like situations where I'm like, Oh, that wasn't fair. But like, let's see how it rides out, you know, and then that's going to be a story to tell.

And yeah, I did it because I wanted to be able to have that story.

I think that's in a weird way. I think it's healthy, because then you do experience shit where you're like, I don't want that, I want this. Looking back on your single days, what's one piece of dating advice you can give my listeners straight from the Shay Mitchell playbook? Oh my god.

Something you haven't said yet to all the single ladies.

But I got to live out a lot of different experiences and I had a lot of fun. I loved that. I thought that these were the years where I will be able to do this. And you can still do it later on when you're married. Blah, blah, blah. But like, it was fun.

It was fun to go out one day with this guy and then another with this guy. As long as I was in control, you know, like conscious control, all of that. It was like, on my terms, I loved it and I thought there was nothing wrong. Because I learned so much about myself through each of these relationships, and that's what I loved.

I was like, Okay, if I date this person, I wonder how this would be. Well, let's find out, let's see how I can deal with his lifestyle, let's see how I can deal being taken on, you know, in this way or like that. Like, I loved learning about myself through other people.

So like, sometimes you have to put yourself into weird fucking situations, like if you're sitting at home. Being like, I haven't been going on dates. Like, I've been kind of like, put your like, listen to Shea, like, put yourself out there, create a scenario. Even if you get the fucking story, it's ending up creating a better version of yourself. Cause you're going to learn what you like, you're going to learn what you don't like.

And you're going to be like, invigorated to find the next story, find the next thing for yourself. So you can look back and be like, Holy fuck, I lived it, I did it. And then when you find the right person, there's no doubt in your mind, it's the right person. Cause you've been with so many different people in different settings.

I don't mean sleeping. You've fucked so many people. But it's like, you know your shit of like, I don't like that, I like this. You're a kid in a candy store of like, you know what you want and what you don't want.

We don't need to experience that. But if you can go into like a respectful relationship, hook up, whatever with somebody, then do it. Experience it, explore it and learn about yourself. Now's the time.

But like, if you are going into a relationship and experience with like self-respect, you know that that person has respect for you. You are aware, you are conscious, you are all of that. Then I think there is like, no harm in that. You are learning about yourself through that, and I love that.

I love. I wouldn't take away the experiences that I've had, and the other thing is, I would never take away the experiences that my partner has had. I don't talk shit about any of the people he's been with. Because all of those people that he was with made him the person that he is today. You know? And sometimes I'm like, Well wish you could have had a couple like, you know, like there's like those times, but like, I never talk shit about that. Because thank you.

So live your life how you want to live it. Don't worry about somebody else. Because you're worrying isn't going to change the outcome, It's not going to change the outcome. I can promise you that they don't care if you're worrying or not.

Live your life, do what makes you happy and do what you love, like, do what makes you happy. I don't want to waste any more days. I did that enough in my 20s, like I said. But like, for those listening who are in their 20s, save yourselves, learn from us. And like, don't waste your days worrying about somebody else, let them be.

Every day he comes home, I'm like, Hey, there you are, you know what I mean?

I think there's something so romantic about that, like we don't need anything else to like, define our love or relationship. At this moment, we have two beautiful girls. We are very fortunate to have the life that we live and we recognize that.

And if that ever were to change, and we'll deal with it. But like nothing that I can do. Or especially like signing the paper or getting the right like confirms that we confirm it. You confirm it in your relationship, and don't let societal, public pressures, parental, religious, deter you from doing what you feel is right.