Bill Hader Returns

Hi, how are you? I'm doing alright, you're doing fine.

Oh, yeah, you're doing great. Okay, thanks for answering for me. Sure. yeah, I didn't really want to know.

I'm just checking a box here. Your eyes glazed over and Matt Gorley, you're doing fine, aren't you? I guess if you say so, you bet I do.

People want Pep, they don't want to hear about problems. I was gonna bring up major grievances today, but if you tell me I'm fine, I guess I got nowhere to go. Trust me, you're fine and quite happy with your salary.

Alright, we gotta talk about something today, which is actually it's a fun thing, it's just different. It's something called Conan O'Brien TV. Are you familiar with this concept? Matt Yes, I am.

Okay, unfortunately.

Isn't that your dream? Just more? Conan All the time, you're with me every day, making a podcast, but then you go home and you get to relax. And instead of watching one of your classics on the Criterion channel, you get to hear some more Conan.

But, you know, a lot of people would like this. I believe that in my mind. I got a new free channel and it launches on Wednesday. I believe that in my mind.

So, uh, kind of excited about this. That's crazy that you should say that because I do have that. I have a Samsung TV and that's when you turn it on, that's the first thing you see is Samsung TV. I can't escape you, you can't escape me.

And you know what, most polls show that people don't want to escape me. We weren't in those polls. Yeah, what a very strange poll to do, by the way.

Do you want to escape Conan O'Brien? Well, the polling's in anyway. To celebrate the launch of my new channel on Wednesday, May 24th, for my New York fans, there's a treat in store for you. I'm going to have an ice cream truck roaming around the city that has my face on it. This, by the way, was my childhood dream.

And you follow Samsung TV Plus on Instagram, or you can follow it on Twitter or Facebook for live updates. On where to find my ice cream truck? And listen, you think that I've gone too far? I have not, sir. Listen to this. Jordan Schlansky is going to be in the truck handing out ice cream pops.

Jordan Schlansky is going to be at the ice cream truck to meet fans, and I think Jordan has many more fans than I do. People are always stopping me and asking me about Jordan Schlansky. Find out for yourself if he's real, because he's going to be in the ice cream truck, handing out ice cream pops and guess what.

The pops are in the shape of me. Oh my God, you've jumped the shark. What is going on here? Did you make them do this?

You know what I did? I didn't just jump the shark, I got on a motorcycle and jumped the Fonz on the shark. Who is currently jumping the shark, who is currently jumping the shark?

We've gone that far and it says, right here, get your Conan pop while supplies last. And come say hello to Jordan Schlansky, my associate producer. Who's going to be in an ice cream truck with my face on it, handing out ice cream pops shaped like me all to celebrate. I want that put into popular usage, that when you do something so stupid, it's jumping the fonz, yes, and you've done it.

Yeah, I've done it. Yeah, Fonz jumped the shark. now we put a shark on a motorcycle and jumped the Fonz.

Anyway, very exciting and so check out my new free channel. May 24th launches Samsung TV Plus Ice Cream, Jordan Schlansky Ice Cream Truck, Twitter, Facebook. Listen to the words coming out of your mouth.

Wait, what's on this channel? It's all Conan all the time, some of my best routines and bits from over the years, Classic Conan, Great Conan.

Okay, are you high right now? I'm not high. You're just like, Hey, check out my channel and then there's an ice cream shop.

But what's on your channel, and it says it on this paper, and you're not telling people what's on the channel? You don't need? Listen, when someone says there's Conan O'Brien on a channel, that tends to be all they need to know. Are you dancing?

What are you doing to avoid that channel?

I'm telling people what they can watch on it. Well, you can watch classic interviews I've done with Jon Hamm, Ryan Reynolds, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Kevin Hart, Will Ferrell, Lise Kudrow.

I mean, you could go on and on and on. I've interviewed everybody that was ever born or ever will be born, anyone who's ever lived on Earth. I've talked to them and it's all there on Samsung TV, but it's all about that ice cream.

You've got to get the ice cream.

No, this is uniquely curated stuff as 30-minute collections of clips. I mean, that's all you should have to say. Okay, you know, it's like a Porsche.

It sells itself. You know, okay, I'm a Porsche, you think you're a Porsche?

Porsches don't come with Conan O'Brien in the back seat. Yeah, no, I'm not an actual. I'm just saying I'm akin to a Porsche in that I'm low-slung and packed with power.

Low-slung I'm manufactured in Germany. What is low-slung? What does that even mean? I don't like that.

If you have to go over a speed bump slowly when you're driving with me anyway, this is the bottom of fallout.

Anyway, I think, I mean, listen to this, this is going to sweep the nation, this is going to be all people are talking about. Yeah, and so wow.

This is going to, you know what they're going to do. Anyone who was thinking of launching a presidential campaign anytime soon is going to hold off. Until this whole Samsung TV. Conan pops in the shape of Conan Ice Cream Truck, Jordan Schlansky thing calms down. And then they're going to announce, you know what I mean?

Can you imagine DeSantis like announcing during this? And then his people come to him and say, Governor Ron DeSantis, no one knows you're running for president. But I told you to have a goddamn ice cream truck with my face in the form of pops. It's too late, Governor DeSantis, There's already an ice cream truck out there with Jordan Schlansky DeSantis.

Jordan Schlansky Nuke Disney.

All right, we got to get on to the business of show. We have a wonderful guest today, a fantastic guest, one of my favorites, a dear friend. My guest today is the co-creator and star of the Emmy award winning HBO series. And, by the way, one of my favorite shows, Barry, which is currently airing its fourth and final season.

I'm so excited to talk to him today. Just it's a joy every time I get to share any space with this gentleman.

Bill Hader, welcome.

I will say that when you come on the pod, or even when I just get the hang with you, I laugh myself sick. I get. I'm sore from laughing at the stuff you do and it's so much fun to be around you, whether we're recording it or not. And I'm remembering now I had this party at my house and you showed up and we hadn't even greeted each other.

Yet there's a bunch of people there at some holiday party and you show up over my shoulder. And you're a Germanic guy from the late 19th century, who had you laid it out immediately, and I knew exactly what it was. But you just came up to me. And use a guy from the late 19th century in Germany who had fought me in a duel over a woman and lost. But now you're putting a brave face on and you and your arm doesn't work because of the dueling. And you walk up to me and you were.

You were congratulating me on my house and my wife and trying to put a brave face on it, seething with resentment, Yeah.

And it seems like you've done very well for yourself, O'Brien.

I see and you would say, Oh, this is my son, you know? and I go, Ah, you have a son.

And you were like, Well, it's nice that you, I think you said, It was nice that you drove here. I go, flew, I flew here. O'Brien.

But you could try to take that as long as you can. And then, yeah, eventually someone's like, Will you guys please stop?

And I won the woman that he loved and he's putting a good face on it.

Yeah, stoic and maimed.

I would love a tuna stick or whatever it is.

And oh my God, when you get him laughing, it is he really gives it up. It's like, surprising when people go, What's Larry David like? I'm like, he is a laugher.

Oh, he laughs so hard at stuff, yeah.

It's like, if you just started yanking on the cord of a ventriloquist. I mean, up and down, that's his laugh and it's kind of crazy. But because his character is such a crank, you don't get to see him lose it. But I had an experience where Dana Carvey famously does this thing that I absolutely love.

But not too surprised. And he's very bossy about it, and it's you're crying when you hear it. So Larry, I'm talking to Larry and I do it for him. I said, This is Dana's thing and I do it for him.

And he was laughing. As hard as I've seen him, I'm going to die because his his jaw was, and so then I see him. A couple of days later, I run into him and he went, Oh my God, I.

I was at this party and Bill Hader did Dana's thing, and it's the hardest I've laughed. And I said, Fuck you Larry, that wasn't a party, that was my party.

And I was doing it for you, and he was like, Well, it seemed like Hader, it was really funny.

And so when I would do that, which again is Dana's bit, we're all doing Dana's bit, it's all doing Dana's bit. But when Dana Carvey did that for me once and I, I fell on the ground, I was, Yeah.

Well, just a couple of fellows, yeah.

And then the line that I always remember was, Don't buck around now. I don't have a lot of play down there.

And he, it is an old Dana Carvey bit, but when he, he did that, I just when he came. He hosted when I was a cast member at SNL, and when he hosted, it did become a thing. Where I would just ask him, Well, could you do this? I mean, I was just following him around, like, Yeah, a puppy dog. I was doing all the stuff that you know, asking, asking about, you know the Hartman stories, and you know everything you know, that was the thing.

Oh, and it was so funny. And afterwards the writers were thinking, you know, there's that dynamic that you hear about where the comedian is funny on stage. But then if you see them off stage, they're like, Yeah, they can be quite dour. And you see that a bunch of times. And then there are these people that just nope.

Yeah, they just sit next to them on an airplane. And my wife and I once got on an airplane. And someone behind us was like, kind of heckling me and talking about, Oh, they'll let the Irish on this plane, and I guess they'll let any scum.

Do yourself a favor. Just that he was that age, I mean, he was really old, and when he'd be on your show, he was hilarious, he was so fast.

And he goes, what kind of what's up with these? what kind of question is that? And he goes off on that question and just zeroes in on it. And he's like, you make a billion dollars a year and you ask the most stupid question, and I, it's the best. If you could find him with Dick Cavett in the early 70s, it's really because Dick Cavett's trying to give it to him. Like, Oh, I like your act, but I always did, like Jackie Leonard.

You know what I mean? And he's like, Oh, all right, you know?

It's like, No, you were watching a clockwork, Orange or taxi driver.

I gotta go.

Where the hell you come from? I want you to get out of my house. Looks like we got ourselves a film buff.

No, but it was, it was more of a film buff. No, but it was, yeah, you would watch that or watch old movies, and it's just what you were kind of interested in. It was, you know what? The thing that you can't describe, the thing that you're attracted to, that is what happens. And when I would watch movies, I remember, you know, my mom liked actors and things like that.

And what always captured me was kind of the story or the way it was shot, or the design of it. And just recently, you know, I have three daughters and I showed them rear window and it was fascinating because it started. And they went. Yeah, this is like, old, you know, 13, 10 and 8, and they're just, This is boring. Why are we watching this?

Please, no. And then, as it went on, they were getting more and more into it, and then it gets to this point. Which is one of my favorite parts in any Hitchcock movie. If you can remember the movie where Grace Kelly goes and gets, she goes and gets in the Raymond Burr's apartment, yeah, the killer's apartment.

And he comes home. And then there's that great moment where she finds the wife's ring and she has the ring. And she's trying to show Jimmy Stewart across the street, like, I found the ring. And then the camera pans up and Raymond Burr is seeing that, she's doing that, and he looks right in the camera, he sees Jimmy Stewart across the street. So he now knows I'm being watched and I now know what's happening.

And when he did that, all three of my daughters just went, Oh, and I thought, Okay, this guy made this in the 50s, early 50s. And there's just nothing that you can do whatever you want in movies, whatever. But if you have good storytelling and good craftsmanship, this is what you get. It's timeless, you know?

And it really made me. That's why I keep going back to those, because it's just like it's just the bare bones craft of it, you know?

But I showed them not too long ago, I showed them.

Deep throat No, no, yeah.

In the 70s.

Just so I can say it, why am I blanking on? He gets dizzy when he, oh, vertigo, vertigo.

I don't know why.

And the nuns are like, No.

Remember the flagpole one more time?

Right where the tiles meet the eaves. Yeah, and my kids were like, laughing at that, and I thought, Okay, at least we have....

They're upstairs, like, you know, whatever, singing karaoke and, you know, singing Katy Perry songs or whatever, and then they came down. I was watching this movie called Jeopardy with Barbara Stanwyck. It's basically a story about this couple and their child go to Mexico, and the father, played by Barry Sullivan. Somehow gets stuck under, like there's a dilapidated boardwalk, and he gets stuck under like a piece of it, like a log. And the tide's rising. So he's like, you need to go get me help?

And so she leaves her son there, she goes out to get help, and she finds Ralph Meeker, and she goes. And he is an escaped convict, right? So you're cutting back to Barry Sullivan? The water's up to his neck and he's talking to his son, going like, Don't worry, son, it's going to be all right.

Can you just set your pants on fire? Son, let's make a beacon and all this. And then she's with this killer and my kids. And then I turn around and like, more of these kids are coming in behind me and they're watching it. And they're just totally they go. How's she going to get back to the...?

You know what I mean, and I'm like, it's that simple, you know? And I came into the Edit Bay the next day at Barry and I was like, it really isn't that hard. If you just can, you know, tell a good story, that's what it's going to be. And so I get, that's why I get very inspired by that stuff.

I loved the way it wrapped up last season and I was very much fascinated with what's going to happen. And usually what happens is you might get sent an episode, but I got sent almost all the episodes.

And so what I did was I decided I'll watch One and a half without my son, which I did. And then I will watch the rest of the season unfold. And I was, I trust you, I trust you guys. I know that you know what you're doing, but you have painted yourself into such an incredible corner and I'm riveted.

I'm absolutely riveted, I loved it and I love where it's going. But you've put Barry in this impossible situation, not just Barry. But I don't want to give anything away. But these characters are in this position where you think I don't see a way out. I'm just enthralled, just absolutely enthralled.

That's it, right.

I said, No, we have a whole other season and he went, Why?

I go well, I think there's more story to tell and he's like, but it's done.

The pandemic happened and I went to HBO and said, Is it OK if we just write season four to have something to do? And then, as we were writing season four, we started to go back to season three. And so I see three and four as kind of one big season, it all kind of rolls into each other, but season four, yeah. You start off with him in jail and everybody he loves hates him.

And no one ever finds the stuff I find funny, funny. This doesn't mean anything but the opening of the season. Is Barry calling Gene Cousineau? And the first thing he says was, Did you trick me?

Wait a minute. He's got progressively dumber each season. And so, yeah, you start with him there and then it just turns into like, Well, what would happen? what would you do? And the character is kind of really dictated.

And so you kind of walk through all these steps and you take a lot of missteps, you go down avenues and it doesn't work. And from working on it, starting it live for so long and doing this where it was such an immediate thing. What was so nice about the show is you could create something and feel like good and then walk away from it. And then come back six weeks later and go, what the hell were we thinking? This has nothing to do with what the story is about, you know what I mean?

It's more about this, isn't it? And that was so helpful, so we had two years of being able to kind of percolate these ideas. And then, even with that, you're still on set going. Duffy Boudreau, who's the co-writer? And my oldest friend, we've been friends since high school. Yeah, because he's been my friend for so long. You kind of know how it is, where you're like on set, my show and so people are very nice and I feel like I'm a very nice boss. But it is kind of like, you hear the bill's on set, you know what I mean?

It's like, Bill's here, so it's like, Conan's coming up, Conan's car is here.

And I do the first take and I'm feeling, wow, I really brought it, you know, that was really good. And the door opens and Duffy comes in and goes, That's a lot of acting dude.

And I go what I go. Well, that's why it's called, you know, and you get into like a fight like you did with your friend from high school. Well, that's what I'm doing, man. I mean, look, I'm from Oklahoma, what do I know?

But it was a lot of like, Oh wait, oh wait, oh wait. a lot of like, hey, look at me, you know? And he just walked out and so I got mad and I'm like, all right, let's go again. And then, in the scene, I start hitting myself.

So the action? I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I start hitting myself and behind the wall, I hear there he is like.

There you go.

And then Gavin Kleintop, our first ad, and Ida Rogers, our producer. They got to that place too. And that's infinitely helpful, it's so helpful and our editors are like that. Where I go, Hey, you're not going to believe this scene. We did, and they look at it and they go, that's pretty corny bill, you know? And you need that.

You need somebody to say this doesn't feel like the show, man, I don't know what this is.

And then afterwards, he came into my dressing room and sort of shut the door. Like, he just wanted to talk to me and see how I was doing. And he said to me, Well, how's it? You know? how's the staff? how are you guys? You know? Do you feel good about it? And I said, Yeah, I do.

I really have excellent people. And he said, Do you feel like you have too many? Like, yes, men or something? And I said, Gary, I would kill for just one. Yes, man. He was laughing at that, but it was true.

That's the kind of family I grew up in. There's not a lot of, I mean, people just sort of make jokes, and I know that we all love each other, but we make a lot of jokes. And so there's not a lot of. Hey, I just have to tell you, your work really inspires me. That's not the environment I would be comfortable in.

Just thinking about it, you're laughing. What if I said that to you? I was like, Conan, you really inspire me. Yeah, yeah.

So good, I would say. How much money did you get paid? Where's the camera? What's the joke? You really inspire me to do the opposite.

To nap.

And they go, What's it about? What do you say? You know what I mean? And it's like, Well, it's about a guy. And that order, that information is how we should probably lay the story out.

And what will be interesting is they'll tell the story and it's going smoothly. And then you'll go, that's great, but you've never once mentioned fuchs, so we've got to go back and make it. So he's, you can't talk about it without mentioning him, you'll talk about the whole thing like, that's great, but you never once mentioned Barry. Which happened season two. We had a whole episode that I wasn't in, and Alec Berg and I went, You're not in the show.

I'm Barry. People are always like, what's it like working with Henry Winkler? And it really is all about the cake that he brings to set, He just brings bundt cake. I'm like, Henry, you're losing your mind in this scene and you're on the verge.

And he's like, And then after that, can I give the crew the bundt cake?

Like, Robert, Wisdom is going to scream at you and make you cry. And he's like, Right, right, while I have the coffee and the bundt cake.

Right over, and he has a story about everything right over in this corner, you know, Gene Shalit attacks me.

Or whatever it is, he wasn't attacked.

A With Greg Daniels in 1985, we went to some thing. And one of the first celebrities, not the, but one of the first celebrities. And you have to remember, you guys are too young. But happy days in the 70s was the biggest thing in the world, and the Fonz was the biggest part of Happy Days. And you know, in my school, in my English class, there was a big poster of the Fonz on the wall. The teacher had put it up just to, like, try and pacify us.

He was such a big thing. So I get to L..A.

Here's one of the three stooges. Oh, no, the Fonz.

Look at them, sir.

It is him, No, he's the sweetest guy on the planet, very nice guy, and so he's a guy that you can. Also when you're, you know, I was, I would on set be kind of overwhelmed or whatever. He would always be like, I just want you to know you're doing a wonderful job. And he would walk away and I was like, That's sweet.

It's almost when you start down this path and I was loving it. The tone starts to gradually change, but it's subtle. And now, if you look at where we are now, you can't believe the arc, you can't believe where you started. Which, to me, is a real achievement.

We're on a boat and we're trying all these things and we haven't sunk yet, so let's try that we can go in that direction. But a thing I always thought of as we were moving forward was the movie Rosemary's Baby. If you watched that movie, it starts off very purposely, like a Doris Day movie, it starts off there's nothing overtly creepy about it. It's like a very nice couple buying a place, an apartment at the Dakota, and it kind of moves it forward. And then, as it's happening, the tone starts to slowly shift in a way. And so that's always stuck with me in that to what you're talking about, but then I don't know about you.

You've experienced this, too. When you're writing something, you're kind of like, it's how you meet people, too. It's like we're writing the character and you're meeting all these characters, and it's how you meet somebody. It's kind of superficial and you have your initial take on them or impression of them. And then as you hang out with them, you start to get to know them better, and they just become slowly and increasingly more complicated. And it's just trusting that. And then also, I think the other thing I'll say is when you're dealing with murder. It was very hard for me to be funny about it. It could be strange, but it was hard for me to have someone get the Janice Moss character get killed and then kind of forget about it. And I was like, No, no, no.

When she dies, it's for the whole show, you can never forget about her, every episode she's mentioned. Because I think that's what happens when someone loses somebody. And so you would be in the writer's room and everybody's going well. This is a comedy. And it was like, No, no, no, but we got to hold on to that. We have to hold on to that and just trust that it'll work.

Oh, I've done just about every shitty thing you can think of.

They reintroduced me to shows that were canceled. I went, I went to.

And said, Bonnie, let me tell you about Barry. And she said, I don't have a show. And I was like, Listen, Katie Couric, she doesn't want to hear all these people, they don't know, they don't know me.

And said, Why didn't you get the episode?

When you talk to a man, you look at him.

No, but, but. But it is a thing you get a lot of, which is, is this a comedy or not? And it's like, Ah, we're just telling a story.

And I, and so to me, this idea that things can be incredibly dark, but then you can, and to me, it makes the funny much funnier.

That's what he's wearing, which we always thought was very funny. So it's always like, when it comes out of honesty, it kind of works. And the things that wouldn't work was when we would, I would, you know, Hand of God, you know. Comedy nerd try to come in and create something that wasn't coming organically out of a situation or the characters, and that was usually the stuff we would lose.

Why am I talking like Jim Signorelli?

And I, I never, and the band was really loose. And I remember thinking, I guess that's the way you're supposed to wear a watch.

That is still my favorite thing that Fred and I would do is, yeah, yeah. Obama at the base of the Capitol Records Building. Just talking about his time in Los Angeles, he's like, I went down to Pink Hotdog, where a writer from Grace Under Fire said Mr.

President, what are we going to do about this WGA pilot contract?

I was like, I went down to Venice Beach. We're in the sixties, a band taught us that if we work hard, we can break on through to the other side.

They let me run background, which is.

Fred did this and I fell. He's like, it's when people are, you see the people in the background talking. Now, they're not allowed to speak. So you got to tell them, Hey, you go in there now, you come out now, you're eating, you're drinking coffee.

You two are married now, you go now, you can't talk at the same time.

They're all trying to get the throne and different families, and there's rivalries and there's battles and a lot of sex. And they just come off. They go, you know, Mr. President sounds a lot like, and he's in the meeting with his, with Mrs. Obama and Mr. Obama.

That sounds a lot like a game of thrones. Well, fuck me mish, what do you got?

And that was my favorite part. Fuck me mish, what do you got mish? What do you got mish? what do you got?

Poopy can't fucking think.

Mr Poopy now is in the car.

They just were up late going. I would just want to hear Lorne have to read through all this.

And walks Bill, and you're like, Oh, Jesus.

Moving on, moving on, kill it, kill it, cause it's just like we had stuff like that happen all the time where it would.

Just me and Will Forte. I remember we wrote my first table read Ever wrote a sketch called Emmy Attire. And it was me going. It was him. I'm trying to remember what it was, it was him.

And and when biking attire? And then and then I'm in the other room and I go, Hey, you ready to go to the Emmys? He goes, Sure am, and I go, What are you wearing? He's like, I'm wearing biking attire.

What do you mean? You know, he's, you know, the, you know, the helmet, the shorts, the fingerless gloves. Biking attire and I go go change, and he goes, Why? and then I come out in biking attire.

I go because I'm wearing biking attire to the Emmys, I like that, and he goes, What? Yeah, and then Jason Sudeikis came in and Viking attire.

And we were like, Oh, this is very nice. Are you going to the Emmys? You know? He's like, you know, I thought you guys said biking attire, I thought you said Viking attire, and it was this whole thing.

And at the end of the sketch was, it was like, this voice came in and goes. What you've just witnessed happened four years ago in my mind. And then a thing said from the desk of Jimmy Carter.

And it goes. Hope you enjoyed it.

And it was my first table read. And I just remember the look on Tina Fey's face was like, What the fuck was that? and I just was like, Oh, okay, all right.

And Barry, as I said, I've. I watched the first episode and a little bit of the second one. And then I made myself stop because I'm watching these with my son and it's it's really brilliant, I'm really proud of, I'm proud of you.

Oh.

It really does, that's crazy.

I can't.

Nor is today my birthday, I thought you said, Today's your birthday.

It is more or less your birthday. But now I started off with this feeling of generosity and everything and I, and now I don't have it anymore. Wait, I'm just curious, No.

I'm going on, the price is right for my birthday.

Yeah, when I was younger, yeah, well, I'm turning 50, I mean, this is your 50th birthday tomorrow.

Can we just say it's today? Sure. Also, people don't listen to podcasts necessarily on the day. look at this guy telling me how podcasts work well. Maybe someone should.

Wow, they don't necessarily listen the day that they're put on air. Well, you lost it, you lost it, it's okay.

You tried? No, no, they don't. You know what I mean, this drops, but then someone might be checking it out tomorrow and guess what?

If it's the 23rd, then happy birthday Matt Gorley. Thanks boss, and it's the big five away. Yeah, that, nothing.

Yeah, that ain't nothing, I don't know. what are you talking about? I don't know.

I feel it, you know, 50 is, I mean, with all the advances in science and everything, 50 is the new 49 48. You know, you can't worry about it. I know that you're first of all, you're a very youthful chap. Well, you come across as very young. You were getting kind of upset when we'd mentioned your 60th birthday.

Yeah, that's because, and I'm upset now that you brought it up again. I'm trying to get it out on Wikipedia that I'm 51 or 49. Okay, I'm also trying to get some other stuff out there too.

What that I was in porno for a while, in porno, in porno.

Yeah, no, people who are in who do porn don't say I'm in porno. This was a long time ago when people said in porno, No, I think porno was in you. No, it was 1981..

Oh, that's a good porno time. Yeah, I was going to say, that's my favorite, and back then we called it in Porno, did you?

Yeah, sexy, yeah. Someone would say, Hey you, what's your score? and I'd say, I'm in porno.

That's the game, that's how people talk back then, wait.

What was the plot? What's that? what was the plot? Oh, there's this guy and he goes to get his zipper fixed, he wears these really tight corduroy pants, and this guy's packing.

Let me tell you, is there any sex in it at all? I wouldn't call it sex, what would you call it? But there is an extended segment where the just the penis just keeps coming out and out and out.

And it's called Look out Unzip.

Well, look for it. And then there's a little, you know the way, sometimes there's a title underneath a little. It's thwabida, habida, thwabida, habida, thwabida, habida, thwabida twice, or is it just the one? Thwabba, thwabba? It depends on which country it's released in. I've seen ones that were, you know, I saw a copy that was being sold in the Canary Islands.

It's thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba, thwabba. But it depends on where you get it. But all of this is my way of saying Happy 50th birthday Matt Gourley, and you know what? You should feel grateful? You have a beautiful wife, you have a lovely daughter, and a gorgeous home.

I mean, and you get to work with Sona and Conan, and that's a pretty rare. yeah, I get to work with Sona, yay and Conan.

And Sona and Conan, and Sona and Conan, all right, buddy.

It's the three together that make that work.

Two pals, two pals and another guy. I'm gonna go sit on that two-legged stool and see how that goes. Is that another one of your in-pornos?

Yep, well, that was one-legged stool.

That's the other one I made, which didn't do as well. People were disappointed in the ending. One-legged, upside-down stool, where I'm just sold as a stool, and then I'm just, it's a long sequence of me erect.

And people are having coffee using my back as a table, I'm at a French cafe and they're on really tall stools.

No, it's not. Yes. You can gather the wife and daughter around the radio that plays podcasts.

Well, happy birthday, seriously, happy birthday Goral, Thanks you guys, thanks, we all did. Would it kill you to lean into the mic and say happy birthday?

Happy, Well, he told me, it was the 22nd, I know, but so what, we let that go. You're still nursing that.

Let's get out of here.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien. Sona Movsesian and Matt Gorley Produced by Me Matt Gorley executive produced by Adam Sachs. Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering by Eduardo Perez. Additional production support by Mars Melnick, Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brick Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

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