Susie Essman

Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walk in blues, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there, welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a friend and I'm hanging here with Sona Movsesian. Hey Sona.

Hi Conan and Mr. Matt Gorley. Hi Conan. No, I don't know why I did that.

Hello, Mr. President.

And I'm just happy to see you guys, I have something I want to bring up to you. Actually, that sounds something this weekend that I realized, okay.

Did you hear? He just said he was happy? I know, I know, and I want to, because there's always....

It never lasts. I really was, I haven't seen you guys in like, I don't know, 10 days or something, and I was happy to see you, so there you go.

So anyway, let's hear your thing, what is it? what's up? No, now you just threw me off. No, no, no.

What is it? Let's hear it. No, I hate this.

And then we.

They learn about notable Armenians, and one of the most notable Armenian composers is Aram Khachaturian, who is, like, he's like, well-known.

Everyone has, like, heard of something he composed, like, what kind of stuff does he compose? Well, I will tell you, I will tell you.

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm coming in hot you are, because I just realized something this weekend that upset me.

You took his most famous composition, The Saber Dance, and you made it the theme for The Masturbating Bear, and I....

When I figured that out.

Yes, yes.

Out of respect for the Armenian culture, I just loved him. I think he's one of the great Armenian composers. But you got to admit, it works really well with a bear masturbating. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Wah dah weenie.

But it's not even like.

Right, and I think that speaks to this man's creativity. Also, saber could be a euphemism, and maybe he wrote it for masturbating. No, it's a saber dance, the people dance with sabers in it.

Yeah, okay, that's a euphemism, like I danced with my saber last night. It's a dance, yeah.

No, it's masturbating, no, but I remember he's in there dancing with his saber. I once said to Matt, We know how'd it go last night, and he said, Oh, wife's were out of town. I did the old saber dance last night.

That's right, and I remembered he was remember when he said that, Yeah, so bad, I couldn't sit down, yeah.

It's the grown man in a bear costume jerking it, No, no, he was real. he was a real bear. Oh, but anyway, I don't know why you're upset about this.

Honestly, I don't know why you're upset about it, because what? Because so many young kids know that song. Or some over the years. Because of the Masturbating Bear, which was a very popular character. And I mean, Eduardo, you would never have heard of the Saber Dance unless you had seen masturbating bear.

You have Dr. Kevorkian, Lando Calrissian, Lando Calrissian, you know? No, you have all kinds of dried fruits and apricots.

Oh my God, no, seriously, you have a beautiful culture. Don't say we have so little, you have so much. No, I think that you could have used it for any other bit.

And then you used it for the masturbating bear.

You work for me. This was one of my biggest cultural achievements. And you didn't know that this was the music that went. With the masturbating Bear. I have a bigger question, when was this written? Is this guy getting royalties from the masturbating bear? Or is it like-?

Oh, this is a long time ago. how long ago. You don't know anything about him? Oh, I don't know. He was during the Soviet era.

I know, so I think he was like, in the late Sixties, wait a minute, he was under Stalin's thumb when he wrote this.

He was under the iron jack boot. What difference does that make, though? Well, I'm just saying, you know, now I have different implications with that song. Can you change it? No, it's been done.

It's happened, it's over. Can I say something? His estate, I'm sure he's not around, I'm sure Stalin took care of him.

But I want to assure you that his estate has made a lot of money off of that. That they can use towards all kinds of cool projects to further Armenian culture. So you have no right to be angry with me, none whatsoever, and as the judge, here I find you.

Not only do I throw this case out, but I fine you for bringing it. Who made you the judge? I think you owe my entire community an apology, isn't it? Conan O'Brien needs a okay.

You should just apologize. No, how much am I? I went to Armenia with no, I went to Armenia with you. I've done everything I can to uplift and uphold I married you.

Well, no, that's not true. No, no, I christened your children in the Armenian church. I was okay, I learned lines in Armenian.

I have performed an Armenian wedding. Did I do that? No, well, yeah, you married my friend Christina Piss and her husband don't call her a piss.

Yeah, okay, so you're thinking I'm disrespecting people. Your good Armenian friend is named Piss. Yeah, but you took one of our most famous composers, took his music and put it for the Masturbating bear. And I just think that because I knew that that would spread joy everywhere.

Yes, I was going to say, just think of all the joy that that song has given people. Also, I will say we've had many musicians on this podcast not to go against you. SONA I'm sorry. But and they've always said they create a song and it goes out into the world, and then people bring their own meanings to that song. In this example, that meaning is a bear masturbating, but I'm just saying, you know, it's people bring their own meanings to the song.

The song doesn't belong to them. He's turning in his grave, he's turning in his grave from what you've done grave. Stalin didn't.

When he shot people in the basement, they just went away, there was no grave. I'm sorry, I'm fine with using the music. This is going too far.

Well, anyway, Sona, I'll apologize off mic. or will I? you'll never know. apologize, you'll never know listener.

Apology accepted, we got to get into today's show. My Guest Today played Susie Green for 12 seasons in the hit HBO series. Curb Your Enthusiasm. And I'm very excited that she's here today because she's absolutely lovely and hilarious.

Susie Essman Welcome.

It's funny, the reach of the curb. Your enthusiasm is incredible. Because, I mean, ever since I did that episode, which was, I think, third from Last or something episode of the run of the show. Larry needs Conan clearance, so many people come up and say, I know I don't have clearance. But would you like some French fries with your burger? So that's been going on.

You allowed yourself to be an asshole.

My go-to is this antagonistic guy. And it's so funny because I was raised to be so polite and I do really want people to be happy. I mean, I'm a people pleaser. But one of the things I love about the job is that when there are moments when it's comedically necessary, you can go to town.

But anyway, when I went into that episode, my thought was, because I've done a lot of improv, was, Oh, I get it. This show is whatever Larry wants, don't give it to him.

And Larry made him the asshole, you know, and he was not aware of it in the beginning that he was the asshole.

And I would go home after a screaming scene, which is almost all of them, and I would sleep really well that night because it was like a primal scream, yes.

So we could be, you could use guilt, and you could use sarcasm, but there was a lot of attempts to hide anger and displeasure. And then I found, when I got into comedy, that being able to just. If I shared an office with Bob Odenkirk and I could just go to town on him, it was. It's so much fun, it was fun and it's this miraculous thing where you're playing so no one gets hurt.

I say that all the time, you scream, you yell, fuck you, and you're an asshole, and nobody gets hurt.

You did a TV show, oh, that's true, and you're delivering monologues, you're doing sketches. What do you think it is? It's not like, you know, you're not Meryl Streep.

Yes, he is acting, that's not who he is in real life, right, you know?

When I masturbate, I'm just like, Oh God, I love you. I think everybody probably assumed that about you.

I do think the one thing I got very good at was sometimes because you're doing a volume business, you're interviewing someone who you're not, you're talking to three people a night, five nights a week.

No, it's a long story. Sona, please.

You are a real person, you haven't. Some people in the business kind of calcify a little bit. You are so emotionally available, you are so nice and so we part company. And I immediately text Paula Davis, who you were hanging out with beforehand, and I said, we have to get Susie Essman on the podcast.

And, of course, she texts right back, I love Susie Essman.

But that is the effect I think you have on people. Thank you. That's nice, but it's so funny that you've what most people know you from. Even you've been successful and you've been in comedy. And I mean, you did Carson in 1989..

And I think I was a little bit too blue for him, or too. I looked in his eye and I grew up on Carson. I mean, you know, I'm older than all of you combined. Maybe not, Aaron, but.

Aaron Blair So young.

Well, he grew up on Carson, Carson Daly. yeah, Carson Daly, yeah.

And David Steinberg was the guest that night next to me, who then became my friend because he directed so many curbs. But he was incredibly kind and gracious to me. But it was, I was never so scared in my life. I remember going on, there was no moisture in my life, in my life, in my mouth, and it was just really scary. And it didn't go well.

But when I first met him, when I was a writer at SNL, I was expecting the Steve Martin that I idolized when I was in grade school and high school. He's quiet, he's guarded, he's very serious, and, you know, he's like a surgeon who's gonna get ready to do a very big operation. And then you meet Marty Short, and Marty Short will do 45 minutes, right, right?

So I very quickly realized, Oh, I'm the Marty short type, but also I will say in my defense, I'm I, I, and sometimes-.

She's since passed, but she was so funny on her own, but also so great with Bob Newhart. And then Bob was telling a story and it was getting late, and then she just said, All right, Newhart, let's wrap it up. And I thought, Wow, she's like, Liza, I love this.

This is what we need, we need partners who-.

They exist.

It's fiction.

He would like, you know, Relish, that the man loves to be yelled and screamed at. I mean, loves it. He like, lives for it.

Right, reacting and looking a little sad and downtrodden when it's appropriate. And so Larry's so good at when he's being eviscerated, the way his face falls.

He's getting her drunk, he's getting us kicked out of a country club, he's stealing a salad dressing recipe. It's not that it's not like a big method acting thing, I gotta do, you just have to be in the scene.

And it's like, Look, what these fucking assholes are doing now?

Yeah.

And when I told them I was gonna be a comic, they were just, Hmm, yeah, you know. But then once I was successful, it wasn't once I was. Once their friends recognized that I was successful, then they were okay with it.

And if my sister started to do it, she would, I could see her tense up. That's not ladylike, that's not ladylike.

So I have women who feel I feel as though Susie gives them permission to embrace their anger in a certain way. But stand-up in the 80s was very, very difficult, and I kind of was breaking a little bit of a mold there. The women who came before me, which you could name on one hand, you know, Joan, Phyllis, Toti, couple of others, Jean, Carol. I felt as though they all had to be self-deprecating, or the audience would not accept them. You know, Phyllis dressed up in the crazy outfits.

Toti was obese. Joan was just talking about how, you know, my thighs and I'm so ugly, and she wasn't. She was adorable. But it was almost as though they had to be that way and I didn't connect to that.

I didn't want to do that at all, that kind of material.

But she was just like, first time I saw her, I was like, Oh, I see. It's just like I'm sitting around the kitchen table with my girlfriends and women at that time. I don't know if it's still the case. Would be funny around their girlfriends, but not around the boys, you know?

I'm not gonna do that.

And I was so confusing to them because they would, you know, I was cute and, you know. And they would look at me. And they didn't know whether they wanted to fuck me or laugh at me. They were so confused by it, these old guys.

Please welcome Susie Essman. Jesus Christ, that was the intro.

And there was, like, this woman I needed to become, that. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that she was there. And I started doing standup, which was friends kind of forced me to do it because I was funny. And after about a month, I was like, Okay, this is what I was born to do. And then I just was, you know, just focused and just moved forward, but it wasn't easy.

You know, they wouldn't put more than one woman on a lineup in those days, it would just be male, male, male. One woman. You couldn't have two. So you tried not to be competitive with the other women because you were all always fighting for spots, right?

But, you know, it was hard.

And then I would try to do it, the I would try to do it the Jerry Seinfeld way of sitting and writing bits, and then I would try to do it. Okay, I'm going to start with this material and set up a whole. And it was so boring to me. I had to be all over the place, which ended up serving me well. Because I became an improviser and then I got the part on curve to improvise. But after I would set a routine, I was able to do it that way.

But to write it, I would have to find it on stage, yeah, which is terrifying.

I mean.

Could you guys clarify exactly what, how this whole transition happened? I mean, that was pretty much it. What was that? Are you doing a joke? Yeah, I was doing a little bit of a bit about how I don't care.

Yeah, no, Susie's giving me, Susie's giving me the strength to really shout at both of you. Go ahead, baby, I know I know, go ahead.

Fuck faces.

Yeah, because I'm having so much fun. And I'm, you know, there's a seat empty next to somebody and I'm like, Well, wait a minute, what happened to this? Oh, she couldn't make it. Well, where is she call her?

And it's just, I love that, yeah.

We have a-.

And my favorite meals are, you know, corned beef sandwich, just all of it, potato latkes, potato pancakes, cream soda, yeah.

And I think it's an oppressed group. I mean, I felt that about them. They had been so oppressed by the Brits for so many years, and I just felt that sense of being a part of an oppressed group.

They figure out this other way, and they figure out whether through music or comedy or writing. The Irish, you know, bent and twisted the language you get James Joyce, because it's almost this like, Fuck you, we're going to do it this way, right?

I always felt like she was doing Munchausen by proxy and trying to kill us all, you know, because that's what it felt like. But yeah, she was not. You didn't want to eat her food, okay?

And I was like,-.

Oh, that's cool, it's so delicious.

I'm glad he's getting a shout out. Yeah, I love Rodman, you love Rodman, I do.

I just do. I told you you love him. I didn't ask you, I told you I know you just said it, but I do.

But I don't like you forcing it on me and you're gonna love his Matzo Brie, whether you want to or not.

Okay, I like French toast there you go and I love Matzo.

What was this? It was like a death Matzo cookie. I don't know, I'm just saying, Have you ever heard of, ever had a Matzo?

That really just-.

I'm not denying your experience, but I've never had it.

And then he'd, you know, and he was always very fussy about it. You can imagine my dad just having. And then a little cup of something else that was gross, some liver, oh, angry at him for eating, sorry.

I'll have a little minced liver and then I'll put a little oily fish in my mouth and then I'll drink this blood juice. He's just eating, no, he's not. Borscht is good, too.

Sorry, it is.

But this was something else in it. There was something that sucked moisture out. It deprived me of moisture. I went blind because all of the liquid in my eye went down into the matzo.

And I couldn't see for three days, but I wrote beautiful music. Come on, man, I'm an idiot, you're so stupid.

You'll never do anything this funny again. Well, he's right.

But, you know, I got to write all my own lines, I got to create the character, I got so just. And being in a creative collaboration with him. It's just, you know, I'll never have anything like that again. It was joyous.

They were letting awkward moments play as awkward.

And then a kid puts his, a little kid puts his fists on his-.

Right, you know, we. I mean, I grew up with some brilliant sitcoms out there, some crap, but some brilliant ones too. But yeah, I mean, look, comedy is a reflection, as it should be, of the culture. One of the things that Curb has done, which I think is remarkable, it is not given into any kind of political correctness.

Yes, in any way, and how we get away with it on that show is remarkable, given the environment that we're in.

He's, I do think it's healthy when great things come to an end, you know?

I mean, I think he just felt that, especially after Richard died, too. It really felt like it was just over. I can't imagine doing this show without Lewis, I just can't imagine it.

But it feels it doesn't feel sad to me as much as I feel. And not to be Pollyanna. I just feel so grateful to have done it, yes.

Now it all gives me well, it's possible. It's not true, though. Well, I know, but there's a possibility.

Happy to be here, No, but it's I love this, though. You sit in so rarely and you sit in and suddenly he gets, you're just getting blasted.

Susie Aspen turns to you, What?

Nothing, I'm not going anywhere. See, you're a ticking time bomb, honestly?

It was the schtick I did that. I accidentally ate the foreskin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. I know someone looked at me with horror, but I did that schtick at nine different brisses. It killed every time. Yeah, I can't believe.

I looked at you with horror about an eating foreskin joke. Okay, oh, come on, sorry. And there's a single one.

What because the calamari is there one? there's one on the plate. The guy just got confused.

Anytime.

Hey, I heard you met someone special.

Yep, I did. I'm leaving my wife and I'm moving in with Monica.

That's your intro to this, yeah, and I'm sticking by it. Okay, a couple of not that long ago, like two and a half, three weeks ago. I believe I'm in New York. And I get a text message from the very funny comedian Jim Gaffigan and it says, Can I meet you? Can I call you?

Which, you know, I know Jim, but it's not like we talk a lot or anything. So that I was a little freaked out in the moment you thought you were in trouble. Oh, I thought, he said, Can I call you? and then your mind races, and I thought, maybe Jim needs money.

You know what's going on? Did I do something? So I call him, and he basically says that. The Vatican is interested in inviting a bunch of comedians to meet with the Pope. So Jim Gaffigan was one of the point people, because he is a good Catholic fellow. Stephen Colbert also was calling people.

So the next thing I know, I think, well, you have this chance to go to the Vatican, meet the pope. This sounds cool, so I say, Well, I'm in, let's, we gotta do this, let's go.

How much advance notice did you have? Not a lot, couple of weeks, but not much, so maybe two and a half, maybe three weeks, maybe three weeks. But you don't need to prep, you just show up.

Yeah, exactly. Every time I've met the Pope, I haven't prepared and so so anyway, we get ourselves to Rome. My wife and I, my son came along as well. It was fun because we all had kind of a dinner the night before.

We got to hang out a bunch of us, not all of us, but a bunch of us. Which was just nice to get to hang with some of these people and talk about what is gonna happen. But then the next day we show up and they said, be there really early. And I'm mentioning things that I'm sure Stephen will have talked about this, and, you know, but my experience was the first thing they said is be at the Vatican at 6.45. And I'm like, Am, am.

And I said, 6.

45.

No.

And also, I think the sense I got is that this Pope gets up really early, and that's immediately because I've toyed with the idea of being Pope. No, okay, but this, this was a kill, this killed it immediately. He works out, probably in the morning, I think he works out.

I think he's riding his bicycle all around Rome, he goes to the market to see which fish is in.

In his Pope hat, in his Pope hat, yeah, and and so he's, you know, whatever he's. He's up really early and I think we were not the first thing in his day.

Other stuff had already happened. So we all show up, they take us into the Vatican. And I mean, I think people know this by now. But Whoopi Goldberg, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Stephen Colbert, Tig Notaro, David Sedaris, Jimmy Fallon, myself, Chris Rock, Mike Birbiglia, Stephen Merchant. Who's hilarious? Stephen Merchant was there. And I identify with him because he's like six, seven and mostly leg, and so we fought each other with our legs, which was fun.

And then the pope broke it up, knock it off with the legs, got it out, you two.

So they bring us into this room and then is he even Italian? Yeah, no, you know what it is, he's, he's. He's from Argentina, but he speaks Italian, because I think he grew up speaking Italian. So it's okay, it sounds. It's okay to slander him that way.

I'm not slandering him, I'm doing an impression of what he sounds like. He was like, I'm making a pizza pie in Argentina, and so anyway, it's a me Mario, it's a me Mario.

And I was born in Buenos Aires. But anyway, the Swiss guards come in, that was the craziest thing. Swiss guards come in wearing these multicolored uniforms that you've seen, yellow and purple. And they do this whole choreographed thing, which I don't think was taped or anything. Where they're, they have these long. And, of course, Colbert knew the name.

He's so Catholic. Is it a Halbert or a pike? It's a Halbert? Yeah, I didn't know the name, and he was like, Well, of course, they've got their Halberts.

And I was like, How did you know that? I thought a halbert was a nut you could eat, and that's a filbert anyway. They come in and they start, they do this whole choreographed thing with their halberts, these basically long sticks that have like an ax head at the end. And then all these dignitaries come in and you're looking at. Some people are wearing these really elaborate costumes, and there are people with vestments, and there are people that are wearing all kinds of metallic. There's all these chains around their neck.

One guy looked like a sommelier, he wasn't a sommelier, but he has that thing where they have a spoon around there. You just see all these people coming in and out. And then the pope comes in and sits down. And he spoke to us in Italian, but they gave us the text of it.

And it was really, quite lovely what he said. He talked about how humor brings people together and the importance of it. And it was very well-written and very thoughtful, and I thought, kind of interesting. And then you get in a line and you shake the pope's hand.

That is very brief, I have to tell you, and there's no moment. I never had any illusions about this. But there might've been the occasional celebrity there comedian who thought the Pope will go like, Now you. He might know Whoopi, I think from Sister Act. Oh, right, but it's not, yeah, just because she was a nun.

I think no, and also Whoopi's, I mean, Whoopi's so iconic, she's been around for a long time. But I don't think I had no, not for a second. Did I ever think he's going to go like Conan? It's a good to see you, you know, you come out and you did the thing with the strings on your hips.

The dance, Do it now, do it now. Yeah, yeah, that's it, I never thought. And so it's a quick handshake. What did you guys exchange any words?

I thought I saw footage of you saying something to him. Yeah, I said to him. It's called Conan. O'Brien needs a friend and you can get it. You're going to love Matt and Sona. I'm already a fan of them, yeah.

And oh, and I, yeah, and I said, you know, if it's not Miller Lite?

Nice, Yeah, I did. I mentioned Miller Lite really quickly and he went, You know, it is, it's. It's good, it's not so filling, but it tastes great.

74 calories or 94 calories? Yeah, he said. Is it 94 calories? I said, Yeah, that's all it is, and then the Pope said, and I'm, well, this is a quote.

You can see he's talking to me, it's really animated. At one point he goes, You know what, I'm hanging out with my fellas, you know, my guys?

And we're sitting around and we're shooting the shit, you know? And I went, Yeah, and people were saying, your holiness, and he said, Your holiness, maybe you should move, and I. He's just like, No, no, no.

It's finally I'm talking to a guy about Miller time, but I'm hanging with my guys.

Cold you suck, so anyway, then you move on and then this. I hope he doesn't get mad at me for saying this, but I thought it was just a very cool moment. We all we sit down, but there's comics from all over the world and there's a lot of people still filing up.

And it like, our moments over and there's a long line. And so we're all sitting there. And Chris Rock is sitting right in front of me. And I noticed that he has these little earbuds in, and I'm like, he's listening to something, what's he listening to something? And I lean over his shoulder. And we're in this beautiful, like, gorgeous space with this. I don't know if it's from the 1500s or this 16th, and it's just like filled with these gorgeous murals.

And it's very everyone's wearing these elaborate costumes and we've just had this. We're meeting this man who's the leader of this very massive church all over the world, and you're thinking about all the significance of it. And I'm leaning over and I look at Chris is holding his iPhone in his lap, and I see that he's listening to the soundtrack just straight out of Compton.

I'm not kidding, and so I nudge him and he looks at me and I point down being like, really? And he takes one of your butt out and he goes. I like the juxtaposition between being here and listening to the straight out of Compton soundtrack, and I'm like, that's cool, I like that, so.

How do you think that they chose? Was there a hundred precisely, or how many people got to go, how many comics? Was there a committee that decided who these people would be? I don't know how it all worked.

I don't know much, I know that, I believe. When I looked at the final list from America, I don't know how many of us there were, but maybe 15 from America, something like that. You look at the list and I don't know how they came up with those names, but you look at the list. And then you'd be like, Oh, I mean, England, it was only Stephen Merchant, I believe, and you're like, huh?

You know, so there were people who weren't there, I know it's because they were asked but couldn't come, or who knows, I don't know. But then you'd look at the different countries and there were people from Germany. I know this is a comedian from Switzerland, and this is a comedian from, and then Italy, tons of comics from Italy. But I have to say I was raised very Catholic and my parents are very Catholic.

And so there was a lot of meaning in going to the Vatican. And I did get you get they give you a rosary that's blessed by the Pope, which I'm gonna give to my mom. Aw, well, I won't give her the actual one, he's gonna sell it to her.

Yeah, I'm gonna sell it. No, what I was gonna do is I'm gonna keep the real one and say this was blessed by the Pope. Aw, man. And so I'll give that to my mom. But I have to say, one of the most meaningful things to me was meeting all these comedians from around the world.

Some of them are stand-ups, some of them are talk show hosts, some of them are improvisers. And I loved that because there was something sweet about it, like, we're all in this kooky.

I don't know, we're on this weird profession, we've all got something wrong with us, I'm sure. And we were all together in this beautiful room. And so I took a lot of selfies with people from different countries, met a lot of comedians from all over the globe. And I thought, Oh, this might be the part of this that is getting to me the most, which I thought that was, I thought that was really neat.

And I did. I mean, there were people that were saying, like, say hi to Sona and Matt. I'm like, what? Who the Pope? No, not the Pope? Yeah, No, the Pope was like, Tell Sona and Matt, it's mirror time.

I'm like, Please, Pontiff, can we let this go? No, no, it's just that it doesn't fill you up.

Well, I'm sitting with my bishops and we've got a holiday and I want to relax. I like to crackle. Hey, we gotta get paid for this now. I did a riff, man, they're getting this for free.

But anyway, it was remarkable, it was kind of a remarkable thing. And I have to say. In my career, my favorite thing is when I just pop up places I shouldn't be, and this was definitely a place I shouldn't be. And I'm always looking for those moments where there's like a couple of years ago when I was asked to be at the Do something for the Nobel Committee, like some kind of show.

And then they said, And you can come to the Nobel Peace Prize, which is done in a very small room. And I sat there with James and other guys from my camera crew and we quickly put suits on them and these guys, I don't think James had ever been in a suit before. And we're all sitting there, practically in the front row, watching someone get the Nobel Peace Prize.

And people watching it on C-Span, or wherever they watch these things. It would be like panting across the room. And I had people say, like, what?

And that was quite an experience, and yeah, that's all I got. God bless you, you know what? That now means more to me than anything that happened.

Thank you, thank you, a blessing from this Satanist right here.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien. Sonam Mufsesian and Matt Gourley Produced by Me Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs. Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes.

Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

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