Flightless Bird: DMV Pt II

I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander, accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now in my constant struggle to become more American, I've been attempting to get my American driver's license while making Flightless. Bird. Dax and Monica have been helping me.

Dax, did you pass your driving test on the first try?

Yes.

Flightless, flightless, flightless bird, touchdown. in America, I'm a flightless bird, touchdown.

in America.

Hey, hey, oh my God.

I mean, it was someone's sort. of, what is it, say? the F word, it was someone's fault, wasn't it?

That's also an F word.

I mean, what are your memories of the last time we went?

I think it was a lot of people's fault, mainly someone who texts you and says, hey, I'm helping you out.

It was really kind of you to... Do. you have anything that I need to bring? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, kind of.

I often think about chaos theory when it comes to things like this, where all the little things leading up to this one event, and what led to the failure. What was it really? Could be the bug sitting somewhere in your car's honking mechanism that blocked the honk. It could be the bug's fault. We don't know.

Oh, that's kind of nice. It's sort of relinquishing control. Yeah.

Before we get into the sequel to DMV, part one, have you got any good driving stories lately? Any sort of experiences? I'm sort of thinking a lot about driving in America and what it means. I was sort of going through the states about where the most dangerous places are to drive. Ooh.

There's a whole digest about that?

There's a whole digest, yeah. In 2019, 3,737 people died in California from car-related deaths.

What about 2020?? Because pandemic, I am curious how that changed.

I don't have those figures in front of me. It was a drop from 2018.. I do have from Forbes the most dangerous places to drive in America, the most dangerous states. South Carolina, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, and North Carolina. Wow.

Wow. That's very interesting because none of those places are the places with the most traffic, which I would have assumed those would add up. The most traffic, would add up to the most deaths. Completely.

I mean, I was thinking Los Angeles, surely. And while their deaths are out of control, that's just because there's so many cars here. When you factor it in with population-.

Percentage-wise.

Percentage-wise. Have you driven in Texas before?

I've driven in Austin a tiny bit.

It's weird going from city or state to state, seeing the different styles of driving. It's definitely different driving in Chicago than driving in Texas, and driving in LA. even. Chicago, there's a level of street smarts that you're expected to have as a driver,

but you'll let someone in as long as they're not going to be slow and bad.

Yeah, there's politeness.

But in Texas, good luck changing lanes. No one will let you in.

When I was doing the barbecue episode and we started getting out of Austin more, and we're still very in Austin, but away from the hub, drivers were driving aggressively fast. People just hoon and go for it. Whereas I guess in LA, people are, I guess they're more aware.

No.

No, I feel like they're less aware.

Less aware here.

It's less intentional not letting you in, it feels like. Well, exactly. And I also think, because there is so much traffic, you can't go that fast.

Yeah. Because everything's just at a grinding halt. Yeah. Completely. Let's get into the fun bit.

We're going to fight. I feel it.

As you may recall from our first DMV episode back on February 21st, things didn't go so well.

Oh, fuck. They're calling me back over.

Look, to cut a long story short, Monica's horn didn't work. She had no horn. And with no horn, I'm not even allowed to leave the lot. It turns out. this test was like my first sexual experience after all.

It wasn't this beautiful... Mechanical...

Mechanical failure.

Fucking failure.

Monica's dirty Prius and its faulty horn let me down. I don't cope well with failure, so I could not bring myself to rebook my test. I went back to walking, Ubering, and pestering my friends for rides. That is, until a few months ago. I texted Monica, I think I'm ready to try again.

So, no, it's on the side. So, this is... No, no. On the side of the car.

Over here.

Yep, see the... Yeah, it's fancy. Yep. I know, so we're going to have to learn some stuff right now. Are we recording?

I was shocked to find that Monica's white Prius, once rendered unrecognisable by too much dust, was nowhere to be seen. She'd brought her Chariot, her Mercedes, and this car was unlike anything I've driven in before.

It's also on the side. Everything's like... Okay, what do I do? So, pull that up. Yeah, that's right.

You know what modern cars are like. And European cars. Everything's on the wrong side. Which is the right side if you're in New Zealand, but I've been in America so long it feels foreign again. Sunk into this plush leather seat, I wondered what had become of Monica's cute little Prius.

Yesterday, you decided that you wanted to take the Prius. After part one, you felt loyal. And I thought, you know what? Yes, this thing's going to get you through the finish line. This morning, I wake up, I go to get the key.

Hollywood, I thought, full of swingers and sex parties. It was no surprise. car keys had been left in someone else's house. Who knows what had gone on the previous sweaty Los Angeles night.

So I go to the Mercedes, I think, this is probably going to be what it is. And it's a mess. So again, don't look in the trunk. Do you think they'll look in the trunk? I'm a little worried about that.

It is high tech. I press a button to turn it on. Who needs keys in 2023?? And suddenly the seatbelt tightens around me on its own, possessed.

Now here's the thing, David, when you get in, it does this weird thing where it moves on its own and then the seatbelt like, yeah, it sucks you. And then so you might have to readjust, but that's OK, because they'll like seeing you then adjust.

I feel panicky in this new car, but I try and play it cool around, Monica.

How do you feel?

I really like this car. My one slight problem is that I don't have a lot of awareness of how long it is. or like where I am. I feel like I'm in a bit of an alien craft.

Yeah, I get that. I still feel that way.

And so we sit parked on the street in the LA sun and Monica teaches me where all the buttons are.

I guess we just need to find the parking brake. They might make you do the windshield on the wipers. Yeah. So pressing it in is parked. So put your foot on the gas, like, let's start driving, OK?

OK, these are the flashers. I'm slightly taller than Monica, so adjust my mirrors using yet another confusing button.

I think it's the spinny. Yeah. OK.

Spinny for Cinny.

I remember that rule. Spinny for Cinny.

Spinny. for Cinny. It's time to go back to the DMV. Or we'll miss our appointment.

To park it. Yeah, press it in. Good. And foot on the brake. Good.

Perfect. Reverse. Up.

Yes. OK, you got that so fast. You're great.

Monica gives encouragement as I put the car in drive and take off. She's in a good mood so far, probably feeling guilty about last time, as she should.

And we'll need to practice honking to make sure it honks. OK. Yay, that works. It's OK. OK.

You know what makes a situation OK when you keep saying it's OK?

You really got it fast. I'm proud of you, Cinny.

Monica's being almost too positive. I feel like a baby being congratulated for finally using the potty.

Good job. Wow. Yeah. Wow, that was great.

As we drive along crowded LA streets, I notice that Monica does start sounding a bit cranky. Possibly something to do with the state of my driving. Oh, my God. OK, let's do one parallel park.

That's exit only.

OK, let's not do that.

Oh, is the parking brake still on?

No, I think I took it off. Yeah, I took it off.

It sounded bad.

You sound bad.

Oh, Christ. You have to put your foot on the brake.

My foot was on the brake, resting on the brake at least. I'm always ready to brake, as any good driver should.

I grew up with a not chill energy. Like, if my mom or dad was taking me, it wouldn't have been chill and I would have been angry. Like, I need them to chill.

Oh, am I not?

It says you should be going on, Franklin.

Finally, zooming along Franklin, I feel a burst of confidence. American confidence. Unbridled by the nagging New Zealander inside me who's always telling me I'm a massive failure.

Do you want to try practicing parking again? I got it.

Wow.

Super confident. Are we going to get coffee? Are you going to drive us to coffee?

There's no time for coffee, Monica. Maybe that was our mistake last time. Acting too casual about it all. The test is in 15 minutes. I put my foot on the gas, my pedal to the metal.

And if you're on the highway, do you know you're supposed to be... Like, if you're going 80 miles an hour, you're supposed to be eight cars width behind?

Didn't know that. Okay. Well. Monica is full of advice. After last time, I'm not sure how much I should trust her.

Yes. I think it's a 35, but honestly, I would just err. Err at 30.. Again, I get a little nervous that I'm saying things that are just rules of the road, but not rules of the law.

While Monica's been swapping keys, with her neighbours, getting up to who knows what kind of lewd behaviour, I recounted the stresses of my evening. I went to go to bed at about 11 o'clock. And then I started thinking about, do I know all the things I need to know? Do I know the speed limits? So then I didn't.

I did this morning when I couldn't find the key. I thought I've turned into my brother. This is how my brother used to get ready for school and stuff. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, just check the night before to make sure you have your stuff.

It's genetics. We're all a little bit in the family, all a bit related. As we ramble on, a pedestrian appears. A great opportunity to test the brakes. Good brakes, aren't they?

Whoa.

They wake you up. I realize we're still quite far away from the DMV. I've taken some wrong turns. But thankfully, it's allowed me to get used to this new car.

Double checking. I have. registration expires 2023.. That's right. Insurance.

The test is in 10 minutes. What could go wrong? All right, to Hollywood.

To Hollywood.

No.

Exactly what I was thinking, Marvel.

It's really a lot of setup. This is part two, and we're back to setup again.

I feel so stressed out.

You were looking stressed. It's a thing when your audio is taken from an active situation and then edited together.

Yeah, and you're editing me into a monster. Yes. Manipulated. First of all, you've totally lied. I didn't.

OK, I want you to clear anything up.

OK, you did give me dates. I said, how about this day? Then later, I said, oh shit, I might be out of town, but maybe I could come back or something. And then you said, well, I could always change it. And I said, OK, wait to change it, but maybe I might need you to.

It wasn't an issue.

You didn't have to change it.

Yeah, I was being a bit dramatic there.

Yeah, dramatic effect.

Yeah, a little bit dramatic.

Yeah. Well, this is all part of your narrative, to make me seem high maintenance, which now is a thing.

I mean, what surprised me when I listened back, which I hadn't heard at the time, was how you were treating me like a big baby. And just like, good boy, good boy, good job.

Down, down.

It was really incredible. I love that. And then, yeah, but as expected, when I'm suddenly driving in this car, I'd never driven, you were just a bit more on edge, which is natural.

Maybe your love language is not words of affirmation. Maybe that's not how you hear love, because that's what I was trying to do for you.

And I appreciate it. And again, you were the only one that would take me out for my test. So I'm really, I'm really grateful. And eventually.

I'm nervous.

We got back into it.

OK.

We're not allowed to record inside the DMV. And so you can't hear the bit where a DMV staff member requested Monica's registration and Monica pulled out the wrong one. My thought process when she said to me, this registration is expired, was fuck this. I'm getting someone else to do this with me next time.

I understand. I understand. I understand that.

But I take it all back now, because it's all under control.

I mean, what's upsetting is I pulled the wrong card, the wrong registration. I have the right registration, but I just grabbed.

Just for fun?

Like I got so nervous. Both of us are feeling extra nervous because of last time. I think that's why. Like, we're primed. So when she said you have the thing, I didn't even think like, oh, yeah, I probably have it actually where it's supposed to be.

You went direct to panic stations. Look, I don't quite understand what happened, but the problem's now sorted and we're back sitting in the car ready to pull into the test line. My armpits and forehead are a bit sweaty. Now, I noticed something that you did with the one that you disposed of. is that you just flung it in the back seat.

I put it in this part, though, so it's a trash area because it has personal information on it. So I want to dispose of it properly. I don't want to just throw it in the general garbage. That's something you should know about America. People will steal your identity.

Identity theft. My God. Another Flightless Parade episode coming up.

What is your anxiety level right now? You said you're sweating a little bit.

I had sweaty armpits that I clocked before, which is a true sign that I'm stressed out. And I get clammy hands. I've got clammy hands still, and I've got less sweaty armpits. So I'm about a 7 out of 10.. Okay.

Oh. I should have put it out of water.

I had to give a speech at school once when I was 14. And my mouth was so dry, all you could hear at the mic was like...

Oh, that's interesting. Maybe your body's just trying to retain water.

Millions of years ago, my mouth would have been dry because I was in a cave, hiding from the sun or a saber-toothed tiger. Now it's dry because I'm waiting for my second attempt at the DMV. Now I've been accused of not interviewing enough experts for this show. So, to silence the critics, I've gone straight to the top, getting Steve Gordon on the line. Steve is the director of the State of California Department of Motor Vehicles.

I don't know if I have a good bird's-eye view into every state and every jurisdiction, but I like to think we're in the top four times if we're not in the top of the top. But I've got some really great peers. They really understand the statutory framework. Each state is very different about what they do and what they don't do. In California, I have driver's licensing and vehicle registration.

He would say that. But you know what? I trust him. Since becoming boss, he's put a lot of the annoying standing in line stuff at the DMV online and wait times have plummeted.

We took that from 28 minutes to a little under 10 minutes and were able to actually take that out into the field and essentially almost triple productivity by going from 28 to 10 minutes for real ID transactions. And all of a sudden, the lines for those transactions went down dramatically. And now it runs routinely about eight minutes for a transaction, sometimes even hitting seven minutes. Although, I mean, look, when all said and done, if I look at all the things I've done at the DMV services, it's very rare that I need to go into the office, as I mentioned before. You know, this little baby.

You can't see this, but he's just pulled the phone out.

That's everything. So I can renew my registration. I could buy a car. I can transfer a title. I could do it all on a mobile device.

But, of course, for some things, you have to visit the office. Like me right now, panicking about whether I get a kind or a mean DMV examiner. I was having debates with my friend about whether the person taking you out for your license really wants you to get it, is on your side, or if there's this battle where they're really putting you through the wringer and don't want you to get that license and pay again and come back.

Yeah, I don't think there's any merit to, well, this is a revenue ploy. Let's see how many people we can fail so they'll have to pay again. First, taking your test again, you don't have to pay again. So it'd be silly for us to raise our expenses when keeping our revenue flat. No one in their right mind would do that.

That was on us, definitely.

Yeah, but that was great. I'm glad you watched the car, because it does talk about having visibility through the windows. But I don't think that our license registration examiners are trying to get people to fail. I think they're trying to make sure that people follow the rules, they turn left, they turn right, they back up, they do the things they're supposed to do and they do them safely and consistently, with safe driving.

Steve tells me that close to three quarters of Los Angeles drivers pass their driving test. Would I make it three quarters in one? Time to find out.

Good luck, Sinny. Thank you.

The examiner has booted Monica out of her own car. I hand her my microphone as she departs. I feel naked, without it. Like me, the instructor is confused by Monica's fancy car seats, so I help them fiddle with the buttons to get comfortable. And then I'm off, listening like a hawk to what I'm told to do, gently, pulling out of the parking lot.

OK, so that was really bad, because he kind of almost hit a pedestrian and the guy saw.

She's not talking about me. At least I don't think she is. It's funny listening back to her alone in the car park with a mic, commenting on the action she sees in front of her at the DMV parking lot. I'm scared.

The guy seems mean. Fingers crossed for Cinny.

Oh, God.

The car just made a bad sound. I'm walking away. I cannot watch this. Now, serving F041 at window number 10.. I've been waiting a while and I have not seen David come out.

Meanwhile, I'm out doing my test. I'm told to turn left. I'm told to turn right up ahead, change lanes. The examiner commands me like her pet poodle and I play along. I notice she's making a lot of notes on her pad.

I think I see the car pulling in.

Oh, my God.

The tester's getting out of the car. I see her. Now serving F052 at window number 13.. Oh, my God. This is so nerve-wracking.

Eventually, the examiner allows me to leave the car and I walk over to Monica, who looks incredibly worried.

What happened?

What's your take? What do you believe happened? Tell me about your experience while you were waiting for me.

Okay. I was really nervous at first, because it took you a while to even come out. And so I got anxious about that. And then I was a little worried because you almost hit that pedestrian.

Oh, so, she was talking about me earlier. I didn't even see a pedestrian. Oops.

But then I saw you pull out. I was like, okay, this is great. Things are going great. And then I was like, it's kind of long, but I don't know how long it's supposed to be. What happened?

So I'll say that I passed.

Yay!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I think my instructor was a good one. She was kind. She was a primary school teacher, but then the pandemic happened and she had to shift into taking people like me out to get their driving test.

Oh, my God. That's so sweet.

But I do want to say that you can get a maximum of 15 things wrong, and I got 14 things wrong.

You passed!

I'm so proud of you. That was very scary. It's taken me over a year to do this. I've put it off so many times. We had that huge failure last time, and I have you to thank for that, because you've been here every step of the way, through the failures and the passes.

I can't believe it. She was talking to you for so long.

I'm so happy. Yay! It's another month until my license arrives. When it does, I tear the letter from the DMV open and proudly hold up my brand-new license. Staring back at me is the most truly deranged photo they took at the DMV.

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say if it was. Surprisingly, my last driver's license photo turned out great.

Oh, lucky for you. You have a nice face. That's good.

Well, thank you for that. I know this is an issue with some folks. We would love to at some point. We're not there today. But with a U.S.

What he's telling me, I think, is that it's more my face's fault than the DMV's cameras. And, fair enough, my face is definitely partially to blame. There was another strange thing I noticed on my license, something that would never happen back in New Zealand. Something I found fascinating about the California license is that it lists my weight and my height on there, which is something that we don't have in New Zealand. I was curious about the reason for that.

Every jurisdiction is different. I mean, there are requirements for us to be able to identify somebody. But I think those requirements are fairly broad. So it's a great question. In essence, you have a height and weight along with your photo, your hair color, your eye color.

Final question. Did you pass your driving test the first time you took it?

That was a long time ago. And I passed both the written and the driving tests, yes, on the first time, on the day that I turned 16..

Straight out the door, straight into that car. The true American.

Very American experience, yes.

I thanked Steve, and I let him go. I have to say, apart from my own incompetence, my experience at the American DMV was a good one. The nightmare six-hour wait times of yore were long gone. And as I glanced at my license, I realize it won't be long before I'm back there again. My shiny new license expires in exactly one year.

Yeah, we're going to do it.

It's a prolonged series.

Oh, that was a ride.

It was a ride.

You know, I want to confess something to you.

Please.

When we got back in the car after the kind of registration almost issue, that wasn't an issue.

No, that was okay.

And you said, as you kept in this dock, I thought, fuck this. I'm bringing somebody else.

Fuck Monica. I'm done. Done with this shit.

That was upsetting.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Monica, yeah.

I know why that was your thought process. I understand it intellectually that this woman is incompetent, and this is the second time she's let me down. But it did hurt my feelings. Oh, no.

It's so funny you say that. And I'm sorry because I don't want to hurt your feelings. And you're not incompetent.

I know you don't.

In a future episode I'm working on at the moment, I revisit Rosabelle, who I crack the egg on her head, and I try and get some closure on that for her and for me. Oh, I can't wait. And it also created more of an issue in her life than I knew. And what I've learned from what you've just said just now, and, Rosabelle, sometimes your actions and words have consequences. I'm just revisiting a lot of the things I've said to people and thinking what impact did that have on them at the time.

I want to let you off the hook a little. It wasn't mean.

It elicited something in you. It did.

I think it made me feel I could just easily be discarded.

Oh, no. Monica, I would never discard you. Well, except next time you will.

You'll bring somebody else.

But you know what? Together, I've been putting this off for years now, and I finally have. I'll pass it over to you. Let me see it. I have my Californian driver's license.

Wow. Wow. Oh, wow.

And look at that. And I've got it for a whole year, and I used it at a bar.

You did?

The other night. She had to get in. I'm going to bars now. What bars? Oh, no.

With your new wallet and condoms.

My new wallet. I'm leasing a car here now, which is another thing. You don't really lease in New Zealand, but I didn't want to buy, and you can sort of pay monthly, and you can have a car. And I'm loving being able to drive around California. It's really good.

I think it's cool. Is this your signature? Yeah. Is this our signature down here?

It should be.

It's raised.

Embossed.

Oh, that's cool. And that's cool.

Oh, that is cool. It's also my real ID now, which America is obviously rolling out, so I can use this. You'll need it to get on planes and stuff to fly around, so I've got my real ID now.

Yes, I have a real ID as well.

So I'll be in the air.

Yeah, yours says limited term on it.

Limited term. Yeah, but it was. When I saw that, actually, it was a reminder that, as home as I feel here, sometimes, America is really hard to keep a grip on it, because I got a three-year visa with you guys, so I could work with you. Once that runs out, I've got to apply again to immigration, resubmit paperwork, and it's up to them. Ultimately.

Yeah.

Which is crazy when you like ship back to New Zealand.

So then, why are you going to all these bars and acting reckless?

I'm just going crazy. Just like, this is ID. Having an ID. Oh, my God. I'm like McLovin.

Have you gone on any leisurely drives?

I've been to Joshua Tree. I drove out there. That was fun. I've been to the Rose Bowl, the pool. I'm swimming at the pool.

Oh, my God. Did you drive here today?

I drove here today.

This is the first time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to get a code off Rob to get in and everything. Because usually I'm wandering around the streets.

Oh, you're not allowed to park here.

Oh. No, I parked up the street. Oh, okay. I parked up the street. Imagine day one, Dax tows me.

Exactly. Gone. Wait a minute. What color is your car? What kind of car?

It's white. It's a white car, and I'm really excited about it.

And you don't want to tell us what kind for some reason.

I'm going to give it a mystery. It's an Audi. It's an Audi. I want to give it a mystery. It is?

It's a white Audi. I love it so much. Dang. Nice.

That's why I didn't want to say it, though.

Because it's fancy.

Yeah, now it sounds like a snob. I pay my monthly fee, and I get a little car to drive in, and I'm really excited.

I'm really glad you did that, because you didn't put any of this in, but you showed me a car you wanted to get.

Yeah. The boxy one? Yeah, I was very into the Honda Element for a while. Once you see a Honda Element, you won't unsee them.

Well, that's better. Mine have frequency illusions.

Oh. I've never heard that before. That's amazing. Yeah. Once you hear a thing, it's everywhere.

Oh, wow.

Apparently, it was also marketed very heavily to drummers, because they could fit all that kit in this car. And the most amazing thing about it is that you can open it up, and you can hose it down. inside. It's all plastic. It's plastic?

Oh, my.

But yeah, the Honda Element, I kind of fell in love with it, but I ended up going with a little Audi. And I just love it so much.

Oh, I can't wait. I want to see it.

Take you for a little drive. And I know I got 14 out of 15 things wrong. I live life on the edge.

Do you want to tell us what you got wrong?

A lot of it was to do with Monica's car.

Thank you, Rob. That's absurd.

And there were a few moments where, when I was turning, I would cut over the middle line, which is a common problem that drivers have, where you drive too tightly, and so you sort of cut across the other side of the road. I'm basically just wildly going out of my lane.

No, no, no.

That was a me problem. That was a me problem. But you know, your car got me there.

Yeah. And you did say that the woman who was administering the test was really nice, and she was laughing a lot at you.

She was laughing a lot. Yeah, she was like laughing along with some of my driving. She was comfortable. She might have been marking it as incorrect, but she wasn't stressed out with my driving. She was like comfy.

Yeah, the downs is when you wanted to abandon me.

Well, it was. But, you know, memories. You know, we got there. And we fucking, much like a Marvel film, we triumphed.

I am proud of you. I'm not going to do the thing where you're a baby, because I hear now you don't like that. You don't like words of affirmation.

Gaga.

But you did a great job. You were resilient. You did almost hit a pedestrian. That is real.

That alarmed me.

As it should.

Probably alarmed the instructor, too.

It alarmed all of us. You know why? And this really will get people in trouble. This is what happened. We were pulling up to the point where you're supposed to get checked.

Yeah.

And you weren't paying attention, because you were just so focused on what the lady was telling you.

Yeah, because I was like, she's the instructor. I need to listen to this woman. Yes. And I just didn't look at my surroundings at all.

Yeah. And then a pedestrian crossed. And another instructor was with them and screamed, you didn't see that? He got angry. And I did not like that situation.

Yeah, yeah. That was shitty. I mean, I should have been looking everywhere. But I kind of felt like she set me up, because I was really fixated. I want to be in the right place.

Now, do you think you do a good job of taking responsibility for stuff you do wrong or a bad job?

It can go either way. It depends a lot on the situation, I think. Sometimes I can take responsibility. Sometimes I desperately don't want responsibility. And I'll just put blame on anyone around me.

OK, that's honest.

And I like doing that with your horn.

Yes.

Because it's sort of like a funny thing.

Well, that is my fault, ultimately. I did get it fixed.

Oh, congrats.

How much was it to get it fixed? Well, I got it fixed for you before we did this test, even though we couldn't even take it.

How ran out?

And now it's still dead.

How's your... I think, maybe just scrap it.

No, I can't. It means too much.

Keep it in a little cube. How's your boot doing? Is there any more ordered? I know Rob's witnessed your boot when we had our Thanksgiving episode. Yeah.

I've cleaned it since Thanksgiving, however, like I said, I put a bunch of shit in there for your test. I don't think I've looked at it since then. OK. So my guess is it's not doing great.

Maybe have a little look in there and just maybe say, look, it's your car, your choice.

Now I know. My body, my choice. My hard body, my choice.

I would love to take you for a drive somewhere. Maybe, Rob, we can pick up, Rob. Oh, we're getting pizza on Friday. Why don't I pick you up and take both of you to pizza?

Deal.

Do we want that? Do we want to sing to my music, though? OK. My driving.

I'm nervous.

I'm confident. OK.

I'm ready. Let's do it. If we don't make it, this will be a posthumous episode. And that will be eerie.

Oh, I can maybe put some sad music in at the end. Oh, right. Well.

OK. Well, this was super fun. You're definitely, I mean, there's no question that if you have an American driver's license, you're more American.

I'm on the road.

You're on. Oh, God, you're on the road.

Hello, USA. You know what?

You are going to be so, because even the fact that you drove here today makes you so American, because you used to walk everywhere, because I guess you kind of had to. But also it was part of your identity. And now you so quickly have shed that identity. You're just driving around in your hot rod.

I am. I'm driving around in my hot rod. I will still walk because I love walking. But you're right. The second you have a car, those little tasks, suddenly you're driving.

America. 100%.

Thanks for helping me, Monica. You're welcome. I appreciate you. Thank you. And I appreciate you helping me get my license.

It's a big... I feel grateful to have been a part of it.

I've got it for a whole year.

I'm so proud of you.