Synced: WOM
2024-04-03 00:53:24
Hi, I’m Dax Shepard, and I love talking to people. I am endlessly fascinated by the messiness of being human, and I find people who are vulnerable and honest about their struggles and shortcomings to be incredibly sexy. I invite you to join me as I explore other people’s stories. We will celebrate, above all, the challenges and setbacks that ultimately lead to growth and betterment. What qualifies me for such an endeavor? More than a decade of sobriety, a degree in Anthropology and four years of improv training. I will attempt to discover human “truths” without any laboratory work, clinical trials or data collection. I will be, in the great tradition of 16th-century scientists, an Armchair Expert.
Did you get a haircut? I didn't.
Oh. But I want to. I want to have your hair. Well, I'm getting a haircut. You are?
You're getting a haircut this weekend? On Friday. Do you like your hairdresser?
Yeah. I love her. But...
She's expensive.
Well, she's a hairstylist, but I just have known her for a long time because of Kristen.
Oh, so you have a good price.
It's free. It's not. I pay her, of course. But, like, she doesn't really do haircuts. Oh.
She just does, because we're friends at this point.
That's cool. You should start a hairline company. I would buy it.
I would be a cheat and a fraud, because I don't know any.
. Let's be honest. Okay. It's like when J.Lo is selling her olive oil and, look, I'm not saying she doesn't do that. I have no idea, and I like her a lot.
Have you watched the documentary?
I did watch the doc.
As a lover of J.
Lo, how do you feel?
I'm not, like, an insane lover of J.
Lo. I'm just not, like... This is gonna sound so, like, Pollyanna, and I'm not. Oh. I'm really not, but I am, like, done hating on things.
Oh, okay.
I just am. I'm sick of it. I don't like this. I don't like trying to take people down. I know there is a whole thing against her right now.
It's like no one allows anyone to, just, like, be happy. I'm not for it.
I'm just not for it. Okay, you're not jumping on the bandwagon.
No.
Even though, during the documentary, were there parts where you were, like.
This is a problem? I actually... I mean, I guess I was sort of, like, half watching, to be fair, but no, I was like, that's fine. Whatever she's doing is... She's doing it.
I also liked that she was, in her way, telling us she was a love addict. I think she is a love addict. And not that. many people admit that or know that about themselves, and I think it's more common than we talk about.
That's true.
So I like that. it's not harmful. We're coming up on an election where there's harm. There's a harmful person in the mix. So I am super uninterested in just calling everybody else out for no reason.
So you want people to be called out for.
. Causing harm. Causing harm, not for just being, like, annoying. Exactly.
Exactly, like, just don't watch it or don't pay attention if you don't like her or you don't like it. Right. Like, this Kate Middleton thing, I hope people felt like such pieces of shit. I'm sorry. If you were, like, so deeply invested in what's happening with this person you don't know, slash her photo shot, whatever, like, okay.
I'm with you. I think that we have to take into consideration the context of the royal family and the deception and the lies and the corruption of that institution. Like we are used to being lied to. Who cares? Again, I didn't even indulge in Kate Middleton.
I watched some TikToks.
If people don't know, which I actually believe it's possible that some people don't know, she was, like, not participating in some events and stuff. And so a bunch of theories started popping up asking, where is Kate? What happened to Kate? Is she dead? Did William cheat on her?
Is she leaving? Like, all these conspiracy theories and all of this craziness. And then there was a picture that the firm put out. It was her with her children and it was photoshopped, and people were, like, deep diving into the Photoshop. and, oh my gosh, this is so clearly ridiculous and, like, she's definitely dead.
And then it came out on Friday that she has cancer. Like, of course she does. Of course there's a reason she's not participating. And it's none of anyone's business. I'm just, like, I feel like it's scary to be.
But isn't no one.
. I agree. I think we agree, like, 99%. I just think the, like, shaming of people who had theories or sort of expressing concern publicly.
It wasn't concern, Liz. It was gossip.
Yes, but sending a photo that's edited to the AP and, like, to journalists and claiming that it, like, they're not supposed to do that. And again, the royal family, it's not like, oh, this is just a random celebrity. Like, they're figures of state. They do represent something and are expected to take part in certain activities. I'm not saying everything should have happened the way that it did.
I think the royal family should have, like, said something earlier. Like, it would have been easy for them to just...
But she probably didn't want to say anything earlier, and she has that right. She has children. Yes. Young children.
Like, you have to.
You do have to remember that, first and foremost, these are real people. I don't think even a president, which, by the way, is not the royal family. That's more of a position where they're ruling and in charge. I don't think they're obligated to immediately, upon diagnosis, but say something and don't.
send a Photoshopped photo to major news networks. Like, I think everyone is at fault. Like, I don't think it's just people are crazy and people are unwell. Like, there were things that the royal family did that, you know, were not helpful.
Isn't every photo Photoshopped, though? Like, cleaned up. But it was made. I know there were weird ones, but it was, like, her pattern on her shirt. It was a specific picture of her and the kids.
Was it made? I have no idea, obviously. But one of the things, like, the trees, were, like, not the color. It's like claiming that this photo is recent when it's not. It's just stuff like that.
They're like, don't do that, you know? And I can't imagine what it's like to go through that in that kind of public position. But I just think, also, come on, it's the royal family. Like, of course, we're going to be skeptical of what they say. Should it have gone that far?
No.
The reason they did do that is because she just wasn't going to things. It wasn't that they were putting out a ton of Photoshopped things. She had a surgery and she was recovering, which they said that, clearly, she is recovering from a surgery. They did try to tell the truth, and she wasn't ready to come out publicly and say that she has cancer. So they did that out of desperation, and I hope people felt that.
I really do. Do not make people's lives your specific entertainment, unless it's, like, reality TV. If it's a reality TV show, I think, awesome, you can talk about it. That's a buy-in. People are choosing it.
But, like, leave people alone. I just think it's gotten really out of hand.
Well, it's the parasocial. I think we need a new name. It's past that point. It's really that we think we know these people, and we almost spend more time talking about them and talking about our own lives, right? Or, again, even with this J-Lo thing.
Entertainment Tonight, I saw, like, this, like, TikTok thing. Like, she talks about being from the Bronx a lot, and then there's a part of the documentary that people are, you know, sort of poking fun at, where she talks about it again. And Entertainment Tonight took, like, every time she spoke about the Bronx and did, like, a supercut of it. After that clip, almost, like, feeding the sort of commentary that's laughing at her, always talking about being from the Bronx, and people from the Bronx being like, we don't know you. Like, that's the sort of discourse.
But, yes, like, people are participating in it, and then get views and clicks. There's that element, too. They get attention from coming up with the greatest conspiracy theory about hate, right?
Well, exactly. That's why it's predatorial, because it's using somebody else for your own gain. Yes, it's for clicks. It's for likes. It's for, like, what's the funniest thing I can say right now, so I get the most attention at this other person's expense.
It's a problem. I mean, it's, I think it's a, I don't know, I just think it's bad. And I do think people who are, like, really happy are not doing it, are not posting, and are not taking a bunch of glee in other people's follies. Anyway, that's my take on that. But I have a more important thing to talk about, which is, I learned that Sephora has They do?
They've always had it?
I don't know if they've always had it, but they have it now, and it's a problem.
Oh, what have you done?
I've ordered multiple things at multiple times, and I just learned about it on, like, Thursday.
I kind of have been on a Sephora binge.
Have you found any new products?
Should we do a new product wrap-up? I mean, maybe. Actually, sure. But also, I have something important also. To talk about?
But it's on par with Sephora. Okay. I can go into it later, or we can talk about it later.
Okay, we can put a pin in it. Pin in it. What's made you get into Sephora?
Okay, so. Deep dive. I kind of came across this video on my feed with this makeup artist that was like, here's how to do, like, the lazy girl. Like, I needed that in my life.
Lazy girl.
The lazy girl makeup. Okay. Yes, what I have right now. It looks great. Thank you.
It's all of her stuff.
Do you want to shout her out? I don't remember her name.
There's no way. I remember her. Basically, she said it was all about SPF foundation, whatever that product is. That's like, it gives you SPF, but it also is like a moisturizer.
Oh, you mean like a tinted moisturizer with SPF. That's right. Great, great, great.
Thank you. So, I've tried a lot of different ones, but she recommended this brand. Oh my God, I don't.
Oh, no.
This is what's going to happen. Like, purple and cute.
Tatcha?
Probably.
Or Dr. Idris?
No, I think it was that one you just said. Can we Google it? What is it? Yeah, of course. Of course.
This is important. Tatcha's T-A-T-C-H-A.
Yeah, I think that's it.
It's like a nice brand. Was it expensive?
It's not that brand, actually, but I do love that brand. Damn it.
Is it, Dr. Idris?
No, it's purple. It definitely could have a T or a D.
Was it Tower 28?
? I think so. Yes.
It's purple?
Yep. Is it this? Yes. We figured it out. Okay.
So I got that one and I like it. Okay. It stays on, but it's not too thick.
It looks really nice.
It's great. And then she talked about doing brows. Brows were very important and obviously you know that. So she talked about a frozen brow gel.
Oh, sure. Anastasia?
Again.
Or Anastasia or Anastasia, Beverly Hills? Yes.
So I got the Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Freezer. And she talked about also how, like, you laminate and then you put... She had, like, a whole little strategy, technique. And then, interesting, so I never had a brow pencil. But she said to, like, fill out...
Yeah.
What were you doing just leaving it?
Kind of leaving it, like, I don't know. I don't know what I was doing, honestly.
You were going on that trip.
I was going.
. I guess. But now that I'm filling them out, it's so much more fun. And then she also was like, add a little line with your brow pencil to give yourself, like, a little bit of an eye lift. Like, I, like those little tips.
Sure. Because I would have never thought about doing that. And that's me. That's been my latest...
Wow. Yeah. You just stumbled upon it on TikTok.
Or you sought it out. No, she came up on my feed and she was just like, here's how to do it. There's a wealth of knowledge on TikTok about makeup. Yeah. It's a really...
It's kind of incredible, like, to think about how in the dark I was in my 20s. Or, like, I didn't know what I was doing. It was word of mouth.
Oh, yeah. I mean... Yeah. That was most things. God, the blue eyeshadow days.
Were you a blue eyeshadower?
I was a blue.
. I was a white line eyeliner, which that... Yikes.
Although, sort of recently, I saw a white eyeliner in the waterline. That was really nice. It was very brightening. I don't know if I've tried it, but I did get the liner.
I do nude down there and it's really brightening. And that was, like, a makeup artist that told me to do that. And it makes a diff. What'd you get into?
I went down a huge wormhole. Hung Van. Gogh. Do you know Hung Van? Gogh?
Have you heard of him? Don't. He is a makeup artist here in LA. Well, I don't know if he's based here, but I think he is. He does, like, a ton of celebrities for red carpets and photo shoots.
I don't know if you saw the Oscars. You did see the Oscars. And Jennifer Lawrence looks so good, right? She did. And she looks so beautiful.
She did. And she looked like she, like, wasn't wearing makeup.
And Hung did her makeup. Wow. Yeah. He does Selena Gomez. He does a bunch of people.
But he has videos on YouTube. He does tutorials. And every now and then, I'll, like, remember that he has those and I'll watch them. And it's so—it's like my cooking videos. I find it so soothing to watch.
And he always gives the models, like, a face massage with the moisturizer. Ugh. And I want that. The best. And he tries different products on different people.
So I watched so many makeup tutorials yesterday of Hung Van Gogh. And then I kept buying stuff because I was like, oh, that looks pretty. And I would buy it. And I don't even know what I did.
You don't know what you did?
I've been there. It was like I was drunk, but I wasn't. I was totally sober.
It's—I've been there. I mean, online shopping. Sometimes I'll—all of a sudden, it's just my cart is—I fill it up. And I just close it. I just close the window because I'm like, I don't know what just happened.
And then I'll freak out. But you didn't. You did the right thing and got it.
Well, we don't know yet.
We don't know.
And it's hard to—you know, I couldn't close out the browser because what was happening is I'd watch a video and then there'd be a product. There's this Chanel blush on one of them that looked beautiful. And he said, the thing I don't like about Chanel is that they discontinue their products a ton. So, like, they're kind of all limited edition. And I was like, oh, fuck.
So I, of course, bought it. And then I go back to the video and I'm watching more. And then maybe there's something at the very end. And I'm like, oh, I want that. So then I'll go somewhere else and buy that.
So I just don't know what I've done yet. Got it. You know, because it was like all day long. It was just random at different times. Like, I bought this perfume.
It smelled unseen—unsmelled. Unsmelled? Yeah. Inside, unseen.
Wait, did he talk about it? Yeah. Oh, wow. But I trust him. Like, I don't even know this guy.
But just based on what you've told me—.
No, he's very trusted.
Yeah.
Perfume is tricky because, like, everyone, has different tastes. Right. But it was like a blind trust. Oh, no.
I have never regretted buying something.
Me either.
Like, come on.
But sometimes you will go and you will leave $300.
. Yes.
Poor. Poor, yeah. It happens quickly.
Okay, so one thing I bought—this is bad. One thing I bought were these Shiseido cotton pads, basically. That's ridiculous, right? Because they're expensive and they're basically cotton pads. They're just, like, a little nicer.
They do feel really nice on the skin. But I thought I was buying single-use—this is really bad—single-use towels, basically. Sure. For my face. And I was never going to tell anyone in the whole world that I was buying that because it's, like, so bad for the environment.
But then it wasn't that. It was just these cotton pads. And I was like, ugh. So I am still looking for single-use towels. And the thing is, I'm doing it.
I know it's bad for the environment, but I need that to keep my skin clean because it's very volatile. And it's been very volatile for the past couple months. I feel like I'm coming out of it. And I do think it was related to egg freezing because—.
Hormones.
Same thing happened after the last freezing. There was this six-month period-ish of fine. And then I had a crazy couple months of major hormonal cystic acne flare-up. And so the timing is adding up after my last retrieval for it to be the same thing. So I do think it's that.
I think I'm coming out of it. But still, I'm so paranoid. Using all these fucking products and doing all this stuff. I need the clean towels.
But what is a single-use towel? Is it like—?
It's kind of like a nice paper towel, essentially, single-use. So there's like a box.
Okay, got it.
So then, when you're drying your face, or like patting it dry, you're not reusing your towel.
I also heard recently that you're not supposed to use a towel on your face. Also on TikTok, which might be a lie. But that it's too rough for your face.
Well, you're supposed to pat— Do you pat dry or do you smash?
No, I definitely smash.
Yeah, you're not supposed to smash. You're supposed to pat dry. And if you don't have very temperamental skin, which I don't feel like you do. You have beautiful, wonderful, pretty consistently even skin. You're fine with a towel.
Okay.
And I'm probably fine with a towel, too. But right now, I feel like I need it. And then I also remembered that I drink out of plastic water bottles pretty much all the time. So then I wanted to ask you, what are the— Like, those are the two things that are sending me to hell, right?
Oh. Well, not really. Okay, so, as your friend, I'm always going to defend you to the end of the world. Eating meat, which you do. But I eat meat.
Okay, it's not—.
You only eat it. sometimes. You only eat half the chicken when you make it.
So you waste it, which is even worse.
No, but you don't travel a lot. You don't go on private jets. I don't—okay. You know, you could be doing far worse things. Look, I'm more worried about your health drinking out of plastic bottles.
Oh, no, but I use Zen. It's a specific water brand, and— It doesn't have plastic leaching.
It doesn't have plastic. But still, could you get, like, a water—.
Yes, of course. I could get anything. I have so many reusable water bottles, and I won't drink water.
Out of them. Yeah.
Because it's just, like, not happening.
Have you tried? Yes.
Over so many years. And then I also, like, then I feel guilty, and then I'll try again, and then no water. Drink. Okay. Drink all day.
Mentally, for me, it makes such a big difference in my water intake. Oh, one other thing. I hate, like, carrying around the huge fucking things of—like, Molly has this huge water bottle.
Oh, I know, but that's not sustainable. And where do you put it?
Like, I have, like— Yeah. And then it's, like, you walking around with it. It doesn't fit in my purse.
What if we found you a Tumblr that you really like? that's very stylish?
I also feel like there's definitely mold in these. Even when you wash them really well, if you smell them later, they smell. Like, and I use, like, a copper sponge. I don't trust it.
But out of my coffee— Yes, you always have a mug.
I do. I use mugs. I don't use plastic cups for my tea. But I don't like using the top, because I think that's where a lot of, like, the moisture gets trapped. And the germs happen.
Wow. I just, like, carry it in this cup.
But don't the germs get in, then, if it's just open? Doesn't that also—?
Well, no, that's just like drinking out of a mug.
But it's like an open-air container. If you're just concerned with germs, then they just get in.
I'm not concerned with germs as much as mold, the weird growths that happen.
Your feeling about Tumblrs is how I feel about bottles of water. Like, plastic, there's, like, a physical aversion to it.
Well, that's good.
But that's what we could build for you. What, if we, like, found some data that showed that the plastic does something to your brain because you're afraid of brain cancer?
I am. But, okay, if it was like there's a direct correlation. Like, 100% causation. Causation. It can't be a correlation.
Okay. I might. I've looked into this. Like, it's not— It's fine. Or it doesn't necessarily have to be— Like, it could be liquid death, which is a can.
Or it could be box water, which is paper. I just won't use a reusable. It's single-use. And so the single-use issue is going to, like, you know, it's going to send me to hell. And, look, I guess I'm going to be fine with that.
Well, a lot of people are going to be there, too.
All my friends are going to be there. Yeah.
I'm going to hell.
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It's beautiful.
It is definitely longer than it has ever been.
It's growing. I've never seen your hair grow this fast.
It is growing really, really fast.
Really insane.
And it's, not to brag, but it's staying healthy and, like, thick. It looks good. I'm pretty pleased. And I do think a lot of that has to do with Vegamour, mainly because it's cruelty-free and doesn't have, like, the harmful chemicals and parabens and hormones and stuff that I do think over time deteriorates your hair.
100%. You don't want to be putting so many chemicals in your hair. I've totally switched. I used to put all those, you know, those shampoos that I knew were bad for me. Yeah.
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We love it. I had a subscription that would come in every month, and then I didn't even know how to cancel it. Right. Like, when I got in touch with the provider, like, no, you actually have to go to this other thing.
I didn't even know how. I- Oh, they make it so hard. They make it so hard.
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So, again, because so much of our money is going to all these subscriptions. Yeah. And it's super hard to keep track. Exactly. And they make it so easy.
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S-Y-N-C.
What is sending you to hell?
Oh, that's such a good question. What do you do?
Like, things like this that are very problematic. You know they're problematic. You know you're not supposed to do it, but you do it. Yeah. Like, do you leave the water on when you brush your teeth?
I do. I do, too. Because it makes me feel like it'll end quicker. Me, too.
Me, too. Me, too. I'm like, come on.
I anticipated ending because I have an electric, but then it, like, keeps going and I'm watching the water. I'm like, but it's over. It's over. It's over. And then it's not.
And the temp. Oh, yeah. I need the temp to get warm, for then my face wash. So, it's like the time I use for it to get warm, but I'm sure it's too long.
We're so lucky. I mean, I have a fireplace in my room. It's an electric one, and I use it in the summer. I put my hotel room at 80, and I don't put it down when I leave because I don't want to be cold when I come back. Right.
Like, that's not good. That's going in my file.
Well, I guess it's true. We are supposed to, like, energy save.
It's very bad. My dad definitely thinks I'm going to hell for that.
I know. But dads are like.
Yeah.
That's too conservative about it.
Do you think that if you're a single mom, like, you, take on that role? Like, you're always monitoring the temperature, like, to take it on because there's no dad to do it?
Yeah, I think so. I mean, you have so much on your plate. as a single mom. Maybe you just say, fuck it. Right.
But also as a single mom, you're paying for everything on your own. Right. So, the waste. Ew. What is on my hand?
There was mud out there. I kind of almost. Is that mud?
Probably. I mean, it splashed, I guess. Oh, yeah. There's mud all over my. Shoes.
The fuck?
No, there was, like, muddy. I didn't. I don't know. Did it rain? I don't know why there was.
It rained yesterday. It did. Anywho. So, that's it?
No. There's stuff.
Say it.
I feel like this is bad. In my 20s. I wasn't a home wrecker, but, like, there were situations that I was in, that I regret.
Sure. Sure. Sure.
It's dark. Because it gave me such a bad outlook on marriage, too. I was like, married. guys are dicks. Like, yeah.
Pigs. Because they all want to fuck. Yeah. Not all, obviously. But, like, so many of them.
On a dime, you're like, wow. And so, I regret just being, like, a weird participant in that. I think I'm going to hell for that, for sure.
Now, let's turn the tables. I think that's, like, something to learn from, obviously, in life. But I don't think you're going to hell for that. I think that's a very human learning lesson. Not for everyone.
Not everyone has to learn it. But a lot of people do, of, like, this. approval feels really good.
Yeah.
And it feels really good because it's like, well, if they like me and they really shouldn't like me, I must be so likable and lovable. Right.
That's a good point.
You only need that if you feel so lacking in that.
And there was an element where, like, it was also perfect for me, because I was like, I'm just this thing you can't have and, like, this, like, thing of desire, and I don't have to, like, hear about your problems with your mom and see you take out the guard. Like, it was a very, it allowed me to kind of avoid intimacy. I didn't do it, like, but I did it more, like, more than I feel proud of, or I feel proud for zero of it. But just allowed even flirtations to go, right? Like, even if nothing happened, like, ew, that's low quality, Liz.
Yeah. We do things in our 20s that are dumb. What's the dumbest thing you did in your 20s?
That's such a broad question. I was in college. Like, we did so much crazy stuff. I don't know. Other than, like, the usual.
Right. Just, like, drinking a ton and driving, like, I'm sure. Although I actually think when I was in my 20s, I was much more cautious of those types of things than I am now.
Interesting.
Which is weird. Drinking and driving was instilled as the worst thing. So, when I was early into my drinking days and because it was always binge drinking. So, there was no option to drive. Or I guess some people did, but it wasn't like, oh, maybe I can swing it because we're so drunk.
Right. But now. Right. There's a weirder fine line where it's like, well, how many drinks before I'm drunk is, or not even drunk, but before I'm, like, even crossing a legal limit. I don't know.
I do want to test that, actually. I want to get a breathalyzer. Oh. And see how many, like, glasses of wine before I am past the legal limits. I don't know that about myself.
And you're so little.
I am little, but I have a high tolerance.
It's true. I've never seen you. Wait. This is crazy. I've never seen you drunk.
Actually. Really? I've never seen you drunk. I've seen you, like, loosen up. Yeah.
I'm happy. But I've never seen you drunk, even on your birthday. You weren't drunk.
What do you qualify as drunk? Like, sloppy?
I mean, like, it reaches, like, a limit. Like, you're just being goofy. I feel like I've never seen you, like, goofy, silly drunk. Or maybe I was drunk, too, but I don't remember. No.
We've never gotten drunk.
Yeah, I've never seen you drunk, but you stopped drinking, like, quickly.
I know. I ruined it for you.
When have we drank together?
Well, we would drink a lot with dinners and stuff like that. We would go for wine. Oh, yeah. When I was drinking, we would... I was like, when I'm with Monica, I'm drinking.
We would drink.
. But for me, like, two or three glasses is a lot. Because I'll feel it the next day.
I feel like you never, even when we.
. When you were drinking, you never, like, really drank more than one.
I would try and keep it to one or two. Yeah. Yeah. But I would often drink more than one because I was with you. No, but, like, it was fun.
I feel bad. Don't.
Maybe this will send me to hell. No. Actually, it won't, because I think people are making their own decisions.
Yes, of course, dude. We had this running gag of, like, when I would look at my bank, I knew when I was with you. Because I would just be like, oh, my God. Oh, this is funny. I'm sweating.
But, again, like, it would be so fun, and I would love the time we spend together. I think we should get drunk together. I think you should know I'm pretty fun. I think we should do it.
Well, you tell me. You're the one who's not drinking. I drink pretty regularly, so this is really on you.
How many drinks does it take to be drunk?
I think it depends on the alcohol, and it depends on how long I've abstained.
Okay.
I'm trying to think of the last time. I mean, like, I've been drunk with Anna and Jess many times. Like, when we go to Foreman's and play poker, and then we go to Don Cucco's and have burrito. Like, it's a whole thing. I'm definitely drunk by the end of that often.
And do you ever get, like, impulses to do things, like, when you're drunk? Like, do you ever, like, impulses to do bad things?
No.
Like, what? Like, jump in a hole?
Like, what?
Text someone you're not, like, or, you know, say something that has been on your mind, and then it comes out.
I actually do think, when I am drinking, I think I've hurt people's feelings.
Well, I know I have. Like, one time. They've told you. Yeah. One time was a full disaster.
Not that long ago, actually. Well, it wasn't a full disaster, but it was, I just said my truth. Usually, that's not a good thing. Yes, it is, though. It is.
It is a good thing. This person was also drunk. That's the thing.
Oh, right.
Everyone's drunk, and everyone's drunk in a different way. If I'm in, like, I'm gonna share my truth, and they are in a, like, emotional headspace, it's not a good match.
Right.
But there were other people there. that validated my thought. What did you say?
What'd you do?
Oh, God. Okay.
So bad. And it's extra bad because I don't feel that bad about it.
Okay.
Okay. It was somebody's birthday.
God.
Me telling. the story is complex because there's a huge history. Got it. There was an ask of me that I felt was too much, and it wasn't too much, but it was a part of this history we have where it was building for me already, where I felt like the asks were becoming too much in general, and that there was a little bit of a, I felt a little bit of an entitlement around me. And what I was giving.
So then I, like, snapped in that moment, because when you're drunk, you can't really control yourself. And so that's how it happened. And then they cried, and a couple other people were there, and they were also kind of fighting.
Oh, amongst themselves? Yes.
And so the whole, like, it, was a bit of a disaster. Wow.
It was like a eight-year-old's birthday party. It was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or a, ew, there's a dingleberry on here. What? On the mic. Why is there dirt everywhere? I don't understand.
Sick. So close to that dingleberry for itself. Ew, why didn't you tell me? I can't see that.
Okay, this is another reason I'm going to help. This is for sure.
What?
Not dingleberries. I don't tell people when they have something in their teeth or on their face, or I don't. I just look down. If you see me looking down, there's probably something going on with your face.
You wouldn't tell me if I have, like, a green.
I want to, but I can't.
Yeah, yeah. I say it one out of four times. If there are other people around, the responsibility is completely diffused.
Yeah, it's not on you.
Okay, if I'm about to go somewhere and I have something green, would you tell me? Oh.
Monica! I hope, I hope. I don't want to promise you, because I'm just not so sure. If I was going on a date, you have to. Okay, I would.
If you were going on a date, I'm pretty sure I would.
Come on. Okay, what if I had, like, period, blood on my pants? Oh.
Going on a date or regs? Regs. I probably wouldn't say it. Monica!
What?
I know. I don't know what it is.
Dude, that's like a feminism faux pas. You have to tell any woman, even if your archenemy has period blood. My nemesis. I'm never telling my nemesis. I'm just kidding.
You must. That will get you straight to hell.
I know. You know what? This is horrible. I'm probably more likely to tell a stranger.
Interesting.
Or a nemesis. I think there's something about, like, I can't have you feel embarrassed right now.
I get that. I do.
And I don't think people feel that embarrassed around strangers. You feel more embarrassed around people, you know.
Interesting. What if it's a family member?
Like, if it's my dad and he has food in his teeth, yeah, I'll tell him.
Okay. So it's just the friend zone.
I guess.
Wow.
My God, you wouldn't tell me about period blood. I'm sorry.
Maybe I would. Maybe I would. Maybe I would. I've never been in that position, so I don't know. Maybe I would.
How would you say it? Let's role play. It's me who has it.
Okay.
Blop.
Blop. Monica, you have period. I would— There would be no—.
You would say it like that?
I would be like— Because it's also— Right away. We got to find you pants. We're going to figure this out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like, we got a situation.
Would you say period blood? You would say it like that?
Well, if it's— If it's obvious? I would say like, there's blood on your pants.
Oh, that's better.
Yeah, there's blood on your pants.
Because it could belong to your knee. Murder.
Yeah. Or murder. Or just anything.
Or murder. And then I say, okay, I guess I should tell you.
So you would tell me in a murder situation, you don't want to tell me about period blood on my pants. Okay.
Okay. No, I think I— I think I would. You would.
I think you would.
I think I would, but I am being very honest with you. I won't about the food. Unless you're going on a date, I guess that's like a different scenario. I've never been in that position. Right.
Okay. Tell me.
I feel scared to say it. Say it. But I was in a situation sort of recently that's been haunting me, where I was with a friend.
and—.
I feel like I can't say it.
You have to. You did your laugh face. that's like, I know this is going to be so good. You're going to start crying.
It's really bad. Okay. I was with a friend, and they were a little sick.
Oh, my God.
No, don't take pictures of this. Don't take pictures. And this person coughed. Oh my God.
They like turned to cough.
It's not—it's like with the V8.
There's no reason to be laughing with that. Monica's crying right now.
Okay. So when they turned back around, they had like— Oh no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no. Oh, no. You didn't tell me.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Okay, they had something on their face. Oh no. Like phlegmy phlegm on their face. But also, we were eating, so I didn't know if it was phlegm or if there was just like food.
Oh, my God.
Oh my God. There was hummus. Oh my God. It could have been hummus. No.
Anyway. I didn't know.
I didn't know. But I just went to the bathroom.
That's helpful.
Yes, because it was helpful. You know why? Because I went to the bathroom. When I came back, gone.
Wow.
I think that was the best thing to do, because that person can go on in life thinking maybe I just didn't see it.
No one ever knew.
And that they themselves caught it before anyone saw.
But, okay, what would have this been on to you?
It really has, because I keep thinking about it. Like I get, like, I have like PTSD from it.
Yeah, war flashbacks.
Yes, I'll get like a flash of their face with the thing on it. Oh my God.
I know I should have said something, I think. So it is haunting me.
It seems like it ended well.
It didn't. But like, was it the right move? I don't know.
Okay, where was the phlegm?
It was on their face.
It was like on the cheek or something. Like right in the middle. It's really embarrassing. It is.
It's so embarrassing. Like I couldn't handle that. It was just like I got to escape this right now.
Right, right, right. Okay, this is what I would do. I would grab a Kleenex or like a napkin. I'd be like, oh, you have a little something. That's the move.
You have a little something here, means you have a booger like in the middle of your face. Because if it was hummus, I would say, oh, you have hummus. But if someone says, you have a little something here and they do it, that means there's something embarrassing happening. It's like a euphemism.
Okay. For booger. But then are you just handing them a tissue?
You could do that. You could be like, oh, you have a little something. But I would probably just wipe it. That you would? Unless.
it's like a work dinner or like a work lunch. If it was you, I'd just start laughing.
No.
It's so funny. You have a booger on your face. No.
See, this is why I'm going to Helen and why it's hypocritical. Because I, of course, I'm like, you. better fucking tell me immediately. We're not friends if you don't. So I understand being on the receiving end and feeling like you've got to, but I don't know what happens in the moment.
I feel paralyzed.
Yeah. I get it. That's why I asked about your parents, because I feel like that was a big trigger for you of being embarrassed. And so it's probably that. But you don't have it with your parents because you're close.
But maybe there's remnants of that feeling.
Maybe. And I hate embarrassment so much. Yes, you do. So. maybe I'm projecting it.
Well, you're feeling embarrassed.
I'm secondhand embarrassed.
You're secondhand embarrassed. And you are now part of the phlegm-like situation. Because it's a two. Again, if there's more people at the table, you can diffuse responsibility, like, okay, someone else is going to tell her. But you, in that situation, it's on you.
The phlegm is on me. You've been involved. Implicated. You're an accomplice. You're implicated.
You're an implicated agent. And so you are put in the situation where you're like, neither option is good, right? You're either sitting there while they have the phlegm on their face.
I know. That's why you go away.
But what if you had come back and it was still there?
I know. What would you have done? Well, I was so worried about that. I was like, what am I going to do if it's still there? And if it was still there, I think I would have had to say something.
But it was like probably a full minute before I went to the bathroom. There was time where it was a sitting on the face. Oh, my God. And I thought maybe they'll figure it out, and they weren't. So then I had to go to the bathroom.
That's why, like I, get so stressed with swimming with people.
Oh, because boogers?
Because there's boogers. Or like it'll happen to you, and you don't know it. I know.
I know. At Synchronized Swimming, did you guys just have boogers everywhere?
We had nose clips at all times, which, honestly, probably helped. How'd you breathe? You don't. That's why it's crazy.
Wait, what?
You don't know this?
No.
That's the whole sport. You go underwater. You're not breathing. You come up. You breathe with your mouth.
But you're not breathing with your nose.
At all underwater.
No. How did you think we breathe underwater?
You do breathe underwater normally. when you swim. You breathe out your nose until you need more air.
Breathe out, but not breathe in.
Yeah, breathe out.
Okay, yeah, yeah. You breathe out with your mouth if you want. With your mouth? How? Like bubbles, but you don't really.
You're not really breathing out because you're fucking.
Oh, my God. How long can you hold your breath?
Kind of a long time. Wow. But it used to be way better.
Wow, that's cool.
We could do it together. No. Okay, wait. Before we go into questions, my pen.
Oh, your pen? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry. No, there's been a lot to cover. So my dad discovered a new relative. That's my dad's favorite hobby in his retirement is discovering relatives.
Like from history?
From history. This is all he does all day. It's crazy. We laugh at him. I talk to dead people.
That's my dad. He's just like constantly talking to dead people and interacting and discovering them and learning about them. And there's a new relative and her name is Monica. And she is a therapist who lives in London. She's divorced, which could be aspirational for you.
Oh, God. Is this my future? Is this another rip in the time space continuum?
I do feel it's weird. It's Monica, because it's like the Hungarian way. My dad was like, it's Monica. Like he like, said it and me and my sister were just laughing. We're like, it's Monica.
Like, it's so funny. Like you're not acknowledging how funny this is.
How do you spell it?
That's a good question. Oh, my God. Eleven, eleven.
Stop.
And my text, three, three, three, three. What is happening? Monica, with a K, Bacconi, and her mother, Irene Erzsébet Plank. Erzsébet is still Elizabeth.
Oh, is she dead?
Monica's alive. Her mom is dead. Elizabeth is dead.
Oh, no. It's all good. Okay, so she's a therapist. Is your dad reaching out? Of course he is.
That's all he wants at night. Really? Writing emails back and forth of Monica. And that's all I know so far. It's very new.
Oh, my God. So do we think we're going to learn about my future based on her?
For sure. I think there's going to be a lot of information coming through this channel.
This is so, sim, because Callie had a dream a couple nights ago that I ended up with a British person. What? For real? No. Yeah.
Wait, I love this.
I know, but, you know, I notoriously, I love London. It's one of my favorite cities, but a lot of Americans are obsessed with British accents. It's true. A lot of American women are obsessed with male British accents.
I mean, of course.
Like, immediately attracted to. Not me.
Wow.
I don't have that. It's not my thing. normally. I told her, you know, that's not likely for me. And she was like, I know, but it's going to happen.
Wow.
Then I thought maybe they were born in London but moved to America.
I feel like that's what's going to happen for you. That'd be cool. That makes a lot of sense.
But then we moved to London together for like a fun country home, and then we get divorced and I become a therapist.
Yes. I mean, would that be that bad?
That sounds cool.
It sounds pretty great. Or maybe it's not your future. Maybe this is who you could have been.
Or another me.
Another life. Yeah.
Just like the girl in the Indian restaurant.
She's also you. Wow, that's so special. I want to know more about her. I'll find out everything. This is my dad's entire love language and I never care, but now I'm infested.
And in this other, are you my mom?
Yeah, that's a weird one. Why is your mom, Elizabeth?
I don't think that's our relationship.
No, at all. I think it's the other way around. I don't think anyone's the mom.
I don't either.
But you're definitely the bigger sister, even though you're younger.
Oh, yeah. I think that's right.
I'm glad we don't have a, that's a dynamic that I feel like I've been in. And it's creepy. It's bad. Yeah. And even with boyfriends.
One of my ex-boyfriends was like, okay, this is getting dad territory. So I'm glad we don't have that.
This starts to feel unequal. in a way. There's a power dynamic.
There's a person that's in charge.
Sure. You know, there's a person that's calling all the shots.
Calling, and de facto is the authority a little bit.
Yeah, oh, that's interesting.
You know, but I think I indulged in. I'm the kid too.
Everyone played their part.
I think I liked that.
I've had that too.
You have?
It can be not great.
Yeah.
Also, I think the times where it's not great is when you break the paradigm. When you're the kid, but then in a situation, you're like, well, I'm not a kid. Like, you break it. You become real life. That's hard for the dynamic, and that's hard for the other person.
It is. And when that happened with me, explosion. And mom is mad.
Fuck.
I did something bad. But thankfully, I think when I saw it, I mean, it took me a while, but I got out of it. I look out for it. When I'm playing that part, I'm like, why am I doing it? Yeah, what's happening?
I'll just notice it.
I do think, because you are so nice, you defer a lot to people. So I would see that being a common trap for you.
Interesting.
Because you often give people, not power. I mean, I do think sometimes you give people power, but you're just easy going. I think you just defer a lot.
Yes, that's true.
It's a great quality, honestly. At your birthday dinner, someone said, you lift everyone up around you. That's very true. You're kind of constantly trying to lift people up, which is so lovely. But then I don't know that you necessarily get all that back, because that's not everyone's MO.
Sure. But you deserve to get it back.
Thank you. But I hope I don't expect it back. I'm not doing it so that I get all this validation.
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