Protect the Boobies [VIDEO]

We were hanging out tonight.

And I was kind of in like a shitty mood, I guess you could say.

I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist and I'm someone that has, like always, done like my yearly checkups, but I'm also someone that, like, I, haven't had the best experience with gynecologists. I feel like I've had gynecologists that are quite.

just like not loving about the way that they deliver information. Like I remember when I got bad news, like a couple years ago, and it was just like, yeah, so that's it. And I'm like, oh my God, like, this is terrifying. Like, so what do I have to do? And like, what procedure do I have to get?

And I got like a really just like scary procedure that I was like nervous. Like, is this gonna affect how I'm gonna have children? And so I feel like I've just had like, I'm just scared. Now I think I have this like scared taste in my mouth. That's not a taste, but you know what I mean?

And so, anyways, I've just been really nervous, daddy gang of like, what is going on? Do I have an ovarian cyst? Like, what is happening? And I think anytime any woman has anything when it relates to down under, anyone that has a uterus, like. it's just frustrating, obviously, because we can't see it like a dick.

Like we're like, what is inside there? What is going on? And so I've been doing tests and I just went for many different tests today and I had to get all this blood work and I was doing all these things and I was getting a CT scan. And so I came home and Lauren was like, you know, I feel you on a whole different level, because you have had your own medical journey that you have been going on for the past, what?

♪ Wonder who we are now? ♪.

like three years ago, but like maybe a year after, it took me like a fucking year to like settle into. like, who do I want, like my good doctors to be and stuff. And that makes a huge difference. So I got a new gyno and I went for like a yearly and she was like, have you ever gotten your hormones tested? And I was like, no.

And she was like, I think that'd be like a good thing to do just to kind of like, see baseline where you're at. Like. I wanted to go on birth control because I wasn't on it at the time. And she was like, let's test your hormones. Like, let's see where your levels are at.

So we can, like, make an informed decision of what type of birth control is best for you. And I'm like, wow, no one's ever offered to do that for it. I love that.

Like, I've never heard of that until you told me.

My aunt, on my dad's side, had breast cancer. And she was like, well, have you ever considered genetic testing? And I was like, someone brought it up, like in passing, like years ago, but like, does insurance cover that? Like, is it super expensive? Like, what is that process even like?

Oh, what was the process even like? What did I do for that? I was about to say. Yeah, what was the process? Really simple.

It was either blood work or pee. Cause it was just, that was just a big blood work and pee visit. She was like, pee in all these cups. We'll take all this blood and like test, all these baseline things.

And so I do all the testing and I go back to the doctor's office, probably like a few weeks later. And it's like a 9 a.m. doctor's appointment. I schedule it before work because I'm like, this is going to be in and out. They're just going to read me like, you're fine.

Your blood levels are fine. And I'll go home, log into work and like, have like a full work day. And I get to the doctor's office and like I can tell the doctor's being like a little like too nice. She's being too nice. She asked, like if I want some water.

She asked if I want to like sit in like the relaxation chair that gives you, like a little back massage. And I'm like, ooh, like I found a nice doctor's office. This is like a class service. Little did I know she was like trying to calm me down, I think before like dumping a load on me.

And I agree so much with you, like the doctor and like the gyno that you have, or doctors in general, makes like a huge difference when you have someone who's like empathetic and not a robot when they're going to read you like heavy results. And she called me into her office and she was like, I know this is about to be a lot. I'm about to give you a lot of information. Like, are you in a place right now like where you can receive this like information? And I was like, well, that made me smile more.

But I was like, that is so considerate.

A second criteria is having an irregular period. In my whole life, I've never had a regular period. Been irregular my entire life. So Mark checked box two. And she was like, from that alone, like I think you have PCOS.

And then she starts like listing all these symptoms. And like, I didn't have any of those symptoms. Like the first one, that, like, really scared me, she was like, it could cause not infertility issues, where I'm gonna have issues with my eggs, but difficulty getting pregnant. And like that alone is just like a scary thing to hear.

And so that was like the first big piece of news. that was like a lot, just like started, like my mind started going up like, oh my gosh, like what if I can't get pregnant? and like spiraling like down that hole. And then the second piece was like, okay, like let's go over genetic testing. And she was like, you don't have the BRCA mutation, which is the more serious breast cancer mutation.

And typically they do recommend for that one, like you get a double mastectomy. And so I had a newer mutation that when my mom got tested, like 10 years ago, they weren't even looking for this one yet. So that's why I was like, I'm safe. I'm in the clear, like my mom doesn't have it. Like I'm probably good.

So they have this new one now they check for, which is called CHECK2.

. And I had the CHECK2 mutation, which means when you have like a set of genes, you have two copies of every gene. So I'm missing one of these copies of this gene. that's a protective factor that helps me not to get breast cancer. So it's not like I have cancer in my body.

I'm missing like one of my protective things that helps me not to get cancer. So she hands me this like big packet of information and I open up the packet. It's like a 30 page, like booklet. So I'm from the genetic testing company. It's just like all of this, like all the tests.

they ran, all the results, like. it's like very heavy, like scientific language. And I opened the page. and the big number, like front and center, is 68%. And I'm just like looking at this huge number on the first page.

and it's just like bold and black, 68%. And it's like, you have a 68% chance in your life you will get breast cancer.

I would have like thinking about like how I would have responded, because I was so nonchalant going into the process. I even was like letting myself like toy with the idea, but like not really, but like a little bit, like if I have the gene, like, like.

No, but not anymore. I'm having a lot of therapy.

Like I was thinking of, like every worst possible thing. I was like, I am gonna get cancer. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna have to get chemotherapy. I'm gonna lose all my hair.

Like your mind goes to stuff like that. Of course. I'm gonna have to like not work for months. Like how am I gonna support myself? Like my family, I'm gonna be a burden to them.

Like, oh, and the kicker, I had just started dating my boyfriend two days ago.

And then I remember I walked to the backyard and I called you.

I don't fully know what that means yet. I know that there's a chance I'm going to have maybe difficulty getting pregnant. I now know I also have this breast cancer gene and she's kind of throwing a lot of information at me, but like doing a good job of like, I know you're probably not going to retain any of this. It's going in one ear, out the other. Like, let's set a meeting next week.

And like, I'm going to like, retell you all of this. Your doctor? My doctor. Yeah. And she was just like.

so amazing. Like, I didn't feel like I was like being rushed out of there. Like, she was like, I will sit with you. Like, let's like, ask me anything you need.

so like, I don't know what that, you know what I mean? Like, you don't know what these things are until you have to know what they are. And so I feel like sometimes they deliver you information and then they just stare at you as if you're supposed to be able to comprehend anything that they're saying. And then when you ask, like, wait, I don't really understand that. Like, it's, a lot of doctors have a really hard time breaking it down.

So someone not only can understand it in that moment, but can retain it and leave feeling okay. Like, I can't tell you the amount of times I've left a doctor's office. And I don't know if anyone else can relate to this, Daddy Gang, but like, I feel almost dumb. So sometimes I avoid asking questions and then I'll get in the car and have a fucking breakdown. Like when I had to get that one procedure, I was freaking the fuck out when I got the news because I was like, I don't understand it.

And I thought it was gonna affect my fertility.

And so you're getting this information and then it's so important, especially as we're getting older and we're thinking of even having kids, like. it's terrifying. So I empathize with you and I'm so sorry that you had to like be doing that alone. Okay, so your therapist talks to you and then you call me.

And that's like the one good thing about like having an expensive ass. therapist. Like you kind of have the ability to be like.

I lapped around the block, the city block. I think I lapped around the city block for 45 minutes, like on the phone, like talking to her. And my first thing I said was I'm near panic attack, but how do I handle the fact that I've been dating for someone for two days? And like now I'm like panicking that I think I might get cancer one day. Like that's a really bad buzzkill two days into a relationship.

And like, for more context, like we moved kind of fast. Like we met and started talking and like dating within two months. So like this wasn't like a long drawn out thing where, like we've gone through stuff before. We've had, like difficult times. Like this is the first hardship or the first like not fun thing that we've ever dealt with together two days into dating.

Like how does he handle it? How does he show up and support you? And like, how does he respond?

And at first I was like, no, like avoid. Like. I wanna avoid, like. I don't even wanna think about this. I wanna go home.

I wanna shut this folder. I don't wanna do anything. I don't wanna think about this. And I think that was causing me more anxiety actually, because, like, this is now something I have to handle and something like I have to be proactive about and like do something.

Yeah, so you're like, oh my God. But you're like, you know what? Like, starting there, oddly, can help you feel like more calm, because you can get a better grasp on it.

So like, I have like a basic understanding. So like, I really empathize with someone who's like, I don't even know like what a gene is.

And so I called a genetic counselor. And so, like the company that did my genetic testing, was like, we have a counselor that you can call. that can help break it really down for you, explain to you what you should do and explain your options.

You were like, I remember exactly.

I need to first go research like what's going on. I was like, okay, but then call me. Yes, yes. Okay, so you talked to your boyfriend.

Like, feel so fortunate that you know this. Like most people, like don't have this information and they don't have the ability to like be preventative. So now, every six months, I have to alternate between getting a mammogram and an ultrasound on my boobs. Like that's one thing. on like today, I would get like a mammogram and an ultrasound.

And then, six months later, I would get an MRI on my breasts. And then six months later, and I would keep going back and forth every six months for the rest of my life. Which is like, really like daunting to hear that, like, you have testing every six months for the rest of your life. And like, I think even at that point, it didn't really set in because they were like, oh, like, but like, it's so great that you have access to, like, insurance will cover it. And it's so great that you have access now to like get the MRI.

Because if you get an MRI and an MRI catches something and you're up to date with your testing, like you're most likely catching it in stage zero. So I was like, okay, like, that's amazing.

And then they were like, but you do have a decision. Like you could get a preventative mastectomy.

And I think my first thought with that was, well, I'm in a new relationship. I can't chop my boobs off.

And you are right. Like you're in this relationship. Like you wanna get married one day. You wanna have kids. There's things to think about before just being like, yeah, rip them off.

And it's like a big recovery. It's not just like the same as getting a boob job.

So I think then that was kind of something that was like, oh, that is a huge decision that I need to make. And I know that I want to do it because, having gone now for the past two years or so, like doing this testing every six months, it just like sucks. Like the days leading up to it, like, fuck, I have to go do this. And then like laying on the table and like having them check and then sitting in the waiting room, like waiting for them to. like read the results.

Like, okay, like, do I have cancer? Like, are they about to come out and tell me I have cancer? And they were like, I think most people burn out and then just stop testing.

Oh, and like another difficult part was like figuring out how to like tell my mom. Because my mom had, like, really bad breast cancer when I was a freshman year in high school. She had either like stage three or stage four breast cancer. It was like really, really serious. And like full chemo, full radiation, double mastectomy.

And like, it was scary for a while. And I know that she still lives with that fear of like having gone through that and like wondering if like, it's ever gonna come back. And like, am I like safe now? And like then for me to like call her and tell her like, oh, now I have to deal with this. Like, I knew that would be like really hard for her to handle and my therapist gave me really good advice there.

that I think is like applicable for a lot of settings. Well, one, I called her fiance first and I told her fiance and I was like, can you help me find a time when, like, it's gonna be the right time for me to like drop this bomb on her? And can you like be home when I drop this bomb on her? Because if I can't be the person that she processes it with, because I'm processing it myself. So if, like, she needs to hang up and have someone like, I would like you to be there to help her process it.

And my therapist was like, tell her, like, what you need from her. So I, like, called her and I was like, hey, I'm gonna tell you something and I need you not to have a big reaction. I need you to be calm, because otherwise that's gonna be really hard for me to bear. If you need to process this, like, I need you to hang up and go, do it with your fiance and, like, call me back.

And like, and was like amazing. And like, it was like a bonding moment for us. Cause she was like, I completely know where your mind's going and what you're thinking.

Yeah. I went through this and we were going to get through this and you're going to survive and you're going to be fine. But I also think, just like for daddy gang, I think you're right. Like taking that moving forward is such good advice. Even whatever you're going through to like half the time.

I feel like people have no idea how to handle a situation, because the person coming to them, especially if you're emotional, most time, people are like. I have no idea what this person wants me to say. Yeah. Am I supposed to freak out? Am I supposed to get-?

And thank you for sharing that.

So you told your mom, and when did, how long did you think about, like deciding for the mastectomy and everything?

Like the two years you think for the mastectomy?

it was like a thing. Like she did, like a preventative, like mastectomy. to like, and like my mind went.

But that's the route I'm going to go.

I think also something that you talked about, that I think is important to highlight for anyone listening today, is like, I think that most people who may, and maybe this is like, you know, I know this is like a privilege, but I do know, like, obviously like even Planned Parenthoods and stuff, like women, I think it's like a terrifying thing for some reason for us to like, go and just get checked. And I think there's a lot, there's a lot of reasons why some women wouldn't, like whether you've been like, whether it was like sexual abuse and you don't want to open yourself up to someone like going into your body, whether, like, you're just not, like, you didn't get the tools for education to like, know, you should do this. And like the amount of women that I've even seen. sometimes being like, I've never been to the gyno is like, it's terrifying. And anyone listening today, like, I promise you, it's more terrifying if you find something out because you avoided the gyno than like go, like you said, there's amazing doctors that will sit with you and hold your hand through the whole process, but, like, don't avoid going, because it's like anything in life, the more you push it off, the worse something could be getting.

And, like, you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself. And like, sure, doctors can be annoying with the way and like a little insensitive in moments, but not all doctors like that. And even if they're insensitive with the way that they deliver information, you can take that information and go find a new doctor, but at least you have the information and you have autonomy over your own body and your decisions. rather than like leaving it up to fate and being like, I don't wanna look, I don't wanna look. Like, please, daddy gang, if you haven't, like, you should always be going to your yearly, you should always be going to a doctor.

and, like checking and making sure you're good. You should do breast exams on yourself. Like, I think, for a while, like I remember, I went through a period.

Cause I know you're gonna read everything on it. But, like you said, that's not everyone's experience. Like, do you have any advice for anyone that maybe is terrified and to even start this process and like, is maybe avoiding it?

And like, they're so paralyzed that they're just like, I can't do anything about it. And like, I think just my advice to that would be like,

I know like, it sucks and I'm so sorry.

But like, and it sounds so fucking corny, but just like knowledge is power. And like, you have like the tools now to like.

And, like, when we first spoke, of course, you were like all over the place, as any human would be. Like, what do I do? And what am I, what's gonna happen? And now even, I mean, I think that's also like a part of why we waited to even talk about this. I knew this was something you were so passionate about.

We were like, we need to tell the women that listened to the show like about this.

Like you have a plan, and that is all you can fucking do. So thank you for sharing this, Daddy Gang. We didn't mean to get depressing this week, but I do think it's like being a woman is a lot, like having a uterus. And I think that there's so much, like even just you having PCOS, like it's a whole thing. Cause, like you, what, you tried to go on birth control.

I was like, I was kind of only wearing sweats and like I would maybe only put jeans on like once a week on the weekends, like go out to dinner. And it was like slowly, like my jeans are getting tighter. And then it was like, okay, like, maybe like, I'm, just like, I feel, like I'm always bloated. And then it got to the point where, like none of my clothes fit me. And I was up two entire jean sizes.

And like, I had to buy an entire new wardrobe. And that was really hard to feel like my body wasn't my own body.

And since I've gotten off the pill and gotten an IUD and like, that's been much better for me. But like, that was an experience of itself, of like, just feeling like my body was just like out of balance and out of whack and not my own. And like having like self-esteem issues. and just like when you don't feel good about yourself, like it affects so many other things. I was like, I don't want to go do that.

I don't want to have sex. I don't want to like go to a place where I have to wear real clothes. And like, I know everyone, like I know the classic disclaimers, like I know, like, I probably still had, like a normal body type for people, but like, it just was not mine.

And then, like, with this stuff, it's like you just sit and you feel like the only people that you can connect to in these moments are women. And I love Matt so much. And he's like, oh, I'll cancel my, like my meetings. And he wants to come to the gyno with me. And he's like, I'll just sit in the lobby.

Like, I wanna be there for you. And they're so supportive and they're amazing, but like, no one understands this, like women. And it's terrifying, but I think speaking about these type of things is the way that can, hopefully we get one woman off the couch today to be like, you know what?

I can only imagine how many people are going to write into me and I obviously you don't have social media. So I will be screenshotting and sending all the DMs. Everybody flood my DMs and send Lauren love for sharing her story. But thank you for sharing, because I know this is going to help so many women. And it's like me even saying that is like underrated probably what this is going to do.

So thank you. I love you.