"Kristen Stewart"

Hey, um, I ever told you guys my life story before? Okay.

So, Toronto. I don't know if we have it.

May, 1970.

Will, it's weird. Over here, I'm getting the red light for you.

Oh, that's enough.

They just want to start? Yeah.

Welcome to Smart List.

Smart. List.

Smart.

Smart. List.

Hi, you guys.

Now, so this is your new relaxed zone.

JB's in Brooklyn.

This is how I picture it. Now, JB's now in New York for a little, for a stretch. And I pictured you going there Saturday, and I asked you, because I was like, I know what you're, just hear me out. You get to your spot, you drop your stuff, and then you find the spot on the couch where you're perp and dick to the TV.

That is so true.

Yeah, but I already scouted that, though, and I had to pick the apartment. I had to make sure there was an L-type configuration in front of the TV. Sure. Rest of the apartment, I don't care about.

It doesn't matter.

I just need to know I've got a nesting spot.

Are you happy with the apartment?

I am. Yeah. Oh, good. I'm very happy. But, you know, it's, you know, I'm a soft guy.

How about that? Is that true, Shawnee?

Yes. I got Willie something for his ankles, and I got Jason. You did.

I mean, what did you, did you get him some running weights for his ankle?

No. No, he got me that thing to stretch my calves because I've been having my hamstring issues.

And I sent you slippers because I know that-.

But, Shawnee, as I said, in the text, you're not supposed to be well-raised.

I know I'm not well-raised. But neither of us are.

We were kind of raised by wolves.

But I think that's probably why, right? Yeah. But isn't it true, though? Like, because I was thinking about you being alone there, and I was like, isn't it nice to have just something soft like that, or whatever it is? Like, I texted you, like, slippers to me.

Or an L-shaped couch in front of me. Or an L-shaped couch. Or an L-shaped couch.

Sean, how come every time you say it's nice to have something soft, you seem to grab onto your belly, and you just give it a nice-.

Oh, the cookie pouch. I couldn't mail my belly.

The cookie pouch.

Cookie pouch.

Oh, I miss it. How are you guys doing? What's going on back home?

So, listen, my thing is- Yeah, so listen. I think I, well, Will FaceTimed me, and I answered it from the ER, right?

Not just that. We had been talking, I had seen him for lunch, okay? We had this lunch meeting with, and JB, you would have been there, but you were traveling. So we had this lunch meeting. I don't know, 90 minutes later, I FaceTimed Sean to ask him something, and he's on-.

He's in the back of an ambulance. No, dude.

He's on a gurney. He's on a gurney in the hall at Cedars.

Angel, what happened?

And I go, what the fuck is going on?

Yeah, no, I got the AFib thing again, and you guys know, and they just, I talked about it on the tour, and that's where Jimmy Kimmel gave me the nickname of Paddles, so I texted Jimmy, and I said, Paddles is at it again, and I took a picture, and I texted it to Jimmy of me in my gown, all hooked up to the wires, and yeah, I just said AFib, and so they put me out. They paddled, they zapped my heart out.

So for the medical Tracys out there, AFib is what? It's just an irregular heartbeat?

Yeah, it's atrial fibrillation, so some people are in it all the time, and they don't know it. I know when I get it, which is a good thing, because then I can go to the ER.

Here's the worst part, or the best part.

Your heart just races.

Here's the best part. So we're at this lunch, again, business lunch. The guy says, you guys want anything? You guys want anything. at the end?

It's noon, right? You can't have dessert for lunch.

It's noon, and he goes, Rick, he goes, just, by the way, just vanilla, just vanilla, and I said, and I said, and if you've got any paddles, bring them to the table.

Oh, no. Oh, my God, I forgot. you said that.

So, 90 minutes later, he's in the hallway at fucking Cedars and on a gurney, and I'm like, oh, fuck.

Those gowns are beautiful, though.

If he goes down from this today, and I've suggested the paddles, I'm really going to feel badly for a couple weeks.

So you get into the, okay, so you feel the heart is racing. I should get to an emergency room because things might unravel from here. It doesn't fix itself. You need to go in there, and you literally need to get a jump start to get it off.

Yeah, that's like restarting a car or something. But they put you out, which is great, and, of course, I always try to think of something. Oh, by the way, I read the thing. Wait, we'll cut out this air that it takes me to find that this is worth it. This is great.

We can have some music. We can play some music now.

Sorry, mystery guest. Just hang on. John's got props.

John's got some stuff that he wants to look up.

No, wait, so I said, I said, she starts going, she starts going, because this is what they do every time. The doctor in the ER. This is what they do, because I've been cardio version, right? It's called cardio version, and I've had this done to me like 15 times. So she starts gathering the anesthesiologist, two nurses, her, somebody else, I don't know.

And she goes, she's like, what?

Nobody's ever done that. She goes, yeah, now we're ready. That's how often I've had this done.

Oh, my God.

This is, God, you will do anything for applause.

What about, what about, is, is, what about maybe buying your own set of paddles?

Oh, that's a great idea. I know, I thought about it. And just doing like small, why don't you turn in the garage into an ER? Yeah.

Or just a section of it near the, near the washer dryer, where maybe Scotty can just kind of bang you back into rhythm.

Yeah, they can teach. They can teach Scotty.

Robert, I find Robert has paddles at his house, like a whole thing.

What, truly? Wow. Yeah. All right. Well, so I, I'd love to circle back to, and I'm sorry, guests, we're going to get right to you, but, you know, I'd love to get you to stop drinking ice cream for lunch.

I know.

You know, so let's just start to just kind of chip away at the, maybe the problem before.

Dude, he may, he's got the maker at home now. Now he's got the ice cream maker.

You forget. It doesn't have anything to do with that. It just has, it's because I had a gummy. It's a long conversation.

Oh.

Yeah. I, I don't, I don't stumble into AFib.

If it was, if it was because of the gummies, we'd be talking to JB, who'd be at fucking, he'd be at New York Presbyterian right now.

As would, as would the entire country, um, now that it's all legal and people are, you know, enjoying it.

But if you're prone to it, like I am, then it's like a trigger.

Listen, I don't want to mention, I don't want to cut in because we don't have a lot of time, because there's going to be air so far away from it. But I, instead of going there, I went to the all-star game and I coached Connor McDavid and I was the co-captain with Connor McDavid. That's right.

Let's get to Willie's all-star weekend.

I just, it's really quick. I had a hockey nirvana. It was a fucking, it was unbelievable. I finally met Wendell Clark for the first time.

That was the first time you met him? I was sure. So, Tracy, Wendell Clark is a very, very famous ex, uh, hockey player that Will is, uh, is so, such a fan of that your avatar on your, your texting is, is, uh.

I even know who he is.

I didn't, I didn't, I didn't tell. Even Sean knows.

He gets, he gets golf balls with just the 19 on them, because that was Wendell's number.

17. 17.. 17. JB, JB last year for my birthday, very sweetly got Wendell to make me a video and then sent me some signed stuff, and I was, that blew me away.

Cameo?

Not even a cameo. No, no, no. He went, got in touch with him and it was very sweet. So anyway, I saw him in an elevator. I said, I didn't expect that this was how it was going to happen, but I met him in an elevator and it was just unbelievable.

Yeah, were you down in, like the locker room, having to give, like a, a Rob Ross speech? Yeah, I gave a speech.

So I gave a speech. And so what I did was I just- So who?

Who was on your team?

Conor McDavid, uh, uh, Leon Dreisaitl, uh, we had, uh, David Pasternak from the Bruins. I had Brody Jenner from, uh, we had, we had fucking Conor Hellebuck, the great goalie, the greatest goalie in the league right now. And for a pregame speech, Peter Laviolette, the Hall of Fame coach, was next to me. And I said, let me give the speech. And I put together, from a different sport, all great quotes I strung together from Jurgen Klopp, my guy at Liverpool.

Did Wendell Clarke knew who you are?

Yeah, he, he, he did. actually. I will say that his, and his wife saw that I was like, and she, she nudged him cause he didn't see me at first. And then it was sick. And then I got to say to my dad, we walked down, I said, and I see Wayne Gretzky.

That's crazy that Wayne Gretzky-.

The whole weekend. That's the, the little guy makes good. He comes back home and-.

It's funny. you say that. So the last thing I'll say is so, Abel, you know, you guys know my 13 year old. He says to me the other night and he goes, look, I'm, I'm, I'm going to check and make sure he's doing his homework. And he goes, dad, I'm really proud of you.

You must have fucking fallen apart.

He's such a sweet kid. And he, I did fall apart.

You big softy.

That's very like, uh, um, old soul of him to say.

Yeah. Very old soul. I'm going to cry too. So I'm going to stop.

I love that. Really lucky.

Now, they weren't there with you, were they?

They couldn't. No, just cause of school. It was too many days away from school and, and they're in middle school and high school and-.

But you filled them in. Yeah.

Oh my God. I FaceTime Abe from the bench as the game was going on and I was just like, I can't hear you.

Are they hockey fans, Will?

Ish. Not as much, cause they grew up in California, but yeah. Anyway, we've taken up so much time of our guest and our guest doesn't deserve to have me ramble on, but-.

It's pretty awesome, though. I bet you the guest is crying right now. They need a little time to get it together.

I don't. I doubt it, but I don't know. But this person-.

That's pretty cool, Will.

Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. It was, it was, it was once in a lifetime. and, and, uh, it was extraordinary.

Appreciate the pronunciation on that.

Yeah.

Thank you. César. César. César. Uh, for the-.

One cigarette.

Clouds of- Yup. Two coffee. I take, I take one cigarette. I wait. I meet up with my lover.

Good research. Good for you. I know. I know. I'm sure the studio's thrilled right now, as you're reaching for the date.

No, I know, but-.

She's got a great laugh. Yeah. We know that much.

She's dying to appear.

I'm literally trying to think-.

I bet she's got the date. Why don't you introduce her?

You numb nut? No, they gave me the date that I want to get, but it's, but. the trailers look so amazing. Love Lies Bleeding. It looks so amazing from A24..

I know.

What are you doing saying yes to this podcast?

I know.

You're a nice person. I'm just sitting there. What are you doing with a bunch of ding-dongs like us?

Why are you a publicist?

I know.

Tortured, sitting through our torture.

I know. I'm so sorry to put you through that.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi. How's it going?

My heart is pounding now. I don't know if it's like the initial conversation about your shitty heart, but mine's not like-.

Mine's pretty shitty.

Mine's pretty good. Well, just listening is interesting. You sit around and listen to the podcast and you forget you have to go on it, because it's like fun to listen to you guys. And then you're like, oh no.

This is not that great. It only gets great when the guest comes on. Yeah. It's the fun part now.

Yeah. Welcome, Kristen Stewart. So nice to meet you. Thank you for doing this.

Oh, does she have a coffee drink, Kristen Stewart? Oh, yeah. Oh, what kind of coffee is that?

Is it or is that a shake? Is it green?

No. No, there's little flowers on this cup.

Oh, they're cute.

You know what I was thinking about this, Kristen? Walk us through your coffee routine in the morning, if you will, real quick. What's your go-to?

I'm so into the start of this.

Yeah, don't worry.

It won't be hard hitting at all. It's a bunch of garbage.

No, coffee is like only something that I kind of recently got into. I never used to have any morning beverages. I just would barrel through, and then I realized how fun it was.

Oh, yeah. A little stimulant.

So do you wake up and go immediately downstairs or wherever into the kitchen and make coffee, or do you have a gap, and what kind of coffee do you make? I am very interested in this process.

So, for a while I would try and make espresso, but I'm not good at it. All of my pulls are watery and weird.

Yeah. First thing in the morning, too, you don't have skills.

I'm kind of a bing out of bed. I need to be quiet in order to not kind of infuriate my family.

Oh, really?

Because when you wake up, you're ready to go.

Yeah, I can wake up having like a full conversation like, oh, hey, what's up? What have you been doing? What are you thinking about?

My wife's exactly like that.

Christian, I'm like that, too. I'm very much like that.

I'm not like that.

Well, Sean, let's not get into your sleep hygiene. It's a fucking disaster. It's worse than your heart. You got to get out of your bed.

You got to go downstairs. You got to get in your car, drive over to where Scotty lives.

Is it just regular coffee, JB?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So it's just right. So I got it, I don't know when, maybe two years ago, and I thought about it this morning. I was like, fuck, I'm such a creature of habit. I never deviate.

Oh, yeah, I was going to say, what's the kettle for? Yeah.

And then, so a little hot water.

Just so it looks like country.

No, no, no. No, just because, I don't know, Nespresso has made it so easy. I don't know if you've tried Nespresso. I mean, instead of trying to make espresso, Nespresso is pretty good.

Are you with him, Kristen? He's looking for a free machine. Just indulge me.

I'm not. I don't need, I got 160 bucks.

Say Nespresso, one more time, you'll get one.

I've got 160 bucks. No, I'm not, by the way, Clooney owns part of Nespresso, I think, so, like, I'm not going to give Clooney any more dough.

Let's do a guest talk, huh?

I know. I know, sorry.

Kristen, where are you today?

I'm home. I'm in LA.

In Los Angeles? Yeah.

Did you grow up out in LA?

I did, actually. Yeah, I was born, I mean, like, my first house that I ever lived in was, like, in Topanga, like, the base of Topanga.

No way. On the valley side or the beach side?

The valley side, obviously.

Oh, really? That's literally, that's right where I grew up. I grew up, like, so, you know, Gary's Market there on the corner of Dumetz and Topanga.

Oh, my God, you freak. My house next door.

No way.

Literally, my backyard, like, my fence, overlooked the, like, parking lot, and I would always, like, peek through the gate and be, like, I'm spying on people.

That was my loop with my bike. I lived in a house between Dumetz and Canoga, or, sorry, between Topanga and Canoga on Dumetz, like, until I was 15, 16..

This just sounds like a Tom Petty song.

So, we're Woodland Hills kids. See, the valley's, not that bad.

I take great pride, actually. I like being a little scumbag who literally, like, gets high off the smell of a 7-Eleven.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was an old van store right there.

I just saw JB's face, Kristen. You just made him so happy because he used to tell stories about being in Woodland Hills with his skateboard on the bus, right, JB?

Yeah, and I live in the 7-Eleven store. I learned how to play Pac-Man, Asteroids, everything in there. I love that. I just live in there all day long. Little hostess, you know, cakes.

What was it like growing up, Chris? Like, Jay, did you have a skateboard? Did you play video games? Did you have siblings?

All of those things. All three of them, yeah. I would sit outside of my brother's room and watch him play video games until he would,

like, let me enter.

Really?

Did you go to school out there? Did you go to Serenia or Parkman or Taft?

This is so weird. I feel like you talk about the valley, but it's a big place, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I went to Serenia Elementary School and I walked there every day.

That's where I went to grade school.

Get out of here, that's so cool.

Guys, guess what else? You were both child actors.

There's something in the water out there telling you.

We'll be right back.

And now, back to the show.

I wanted to get to this because I love, I love, because J.

First Jobs, Little House on the Prairie.

Did you have to, did your parents drive you to like a million auditions over the hill?

Yeah, and yeah. So I just grew up on the Ventura Freeway, you know, lots of traffic on the way. But that's, I learned how to drive. I paid attention. Freeway driving had to merge late, you know?

From jump, you've just been a passionate young man.

Was that your experience too? Like you're going with your folks to audition, because your parents were both, worked in entertainment as well, right?

Yeah. My mom really hooked me up because she's, she was a script supervisor. And so if she wasn't on a movie, she would be the guy taking me around, which is a total bitch. It's just constant. And like, yeah.

You wanted it, though. You wanted to be an actor. Yeah.

No, she was forcing me into it. I was begging, I was, I was begging her.

You will contribute to the bottom line of this house. So for Tracy, the script supervisor is the, is the person who keeps their eye on the script, make sure the actors say the lines correctly, helps the director and the camera department with screen direction. And if things match, et cetera, like if you're using your left hand to pick up the glass in all the, you know, first three takes, and then the next take, you pick it up with your right hand, that's not going to cut. So she'll say, so, are you, did you grow up being incredible at continuity? Like, would you always match your action?

No, no. I think it's sort of the opposite where I was always like, that. shit doesn't matter.

Yeah.

I was like, if that's what you're paying attention to, then you're really not doing your job right.

You got bigger problems. Yeah.

No, I would drive her crazy. We've never worked together.

Oh, you guys haven't.

Oh, you haven't.

What dad do?

Uh, stage manager. So he did like, he, he did TV, which we always gave him like a bunch of crap for it, because we were pretentious movie people.

So stage manager, so multicam for like studio audience shows.

Yeah. He was like, yeah, super into the kind of, he always told us that making movies was like watching paint dry. Oh yeah. Cause it's boring and it takes forever. And he's like running the variety shows.

Yeah. Did he ever do any sitcoms? Would I have worked with him? Cause I did a bunch of those back then.

I feel like he did, mainly like game shows, like fear factor, a lot of like reward shows and also talk shows. Like. I bet you've worked with him a lot, but like not on anything long. You know what I mean? Like.

Um, are they excited for you? I mean, your, your success is not new. Were they excited for you? Are they, or was it just like, yeah, we're all in the business. It just kind of just happens.

Uh, no, I, they, they were stoked and tripping on it.

They're always my favorite people on the set, though.

Well, they're either like the best or the worst, where you're just like, Oh, she's gonna like, she's a stickler. She's going to kill me. Or you're like that, that, you know, the keeper of, or you just want to impress them.

Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. With the way you match your action.

But you said it was perfect. We only had to do it three times.

They must be super thrilled with the way you've been able to transition, though, from, um, from being successful in childhood into a young adult and then into adult. Um, cause. as you know, it just doesn't happen that often.

Yeah, it is weird. I know my mom, like, uh, before she was nice enough to cart me all over town, she was like, do you really want to do this? Like, we have to pay all this money for headshots. And, you know, you got to pay me back if this ever works out. And I was like, I will.

Like a poster with a kitten saying, hang in there. Yeah.

A bumper sticker. But it does, it works, though. That's great.

But she totally was like, Oh no, I'm going to watch my kid.

The adult pressure.

You don't get the job. Yeah.

But also like, I talk about this a lot too. Like you, and Jason have this where you're not, I imagine, in awe of, of things that I would be in, like, having not grown up and wanting to be in the business when I was older. It's like, well, I still am in awe. Like if I meet certain actors or celebrities or whatever, I'm just like, Oh my God, I can't believe. like today, I can't believe I'm meeting Kristen Stewart.

It was like a fully functional brownstone built on a soundstage in Manhattan beach. It was every outlet worked. It was mind blowing. It was like in a time where, I guess, people do this. You just have to be like one of five men who are allowed to do it.

Let's build it.

But all those walls were, they could fly all those walls, right? Because all those intricate camera moves, they had to, I would imagine, right? The whole thing was like on hydraulics, I'll bet.

Yeah, I mean, I think there were like also different, but we had like five actual, I mean, I don't know if it was five, but we had like different Panic Rooms that were detached from the whole house. And then there was one embedded in the actual house that was like totally practical. And then like, there was like, yeah. It was just the most elaborate playground for...

Sean, that's what you call when you, in the pantry, when you run out of Snickers, you call that the Panic Room.

Panic Room, correct.

It was different, like, because I was now being spoken to. It's like, I guess I grew up on movie sets, like eating Snickers and stuff, but I wasn't actually like in front of the camera and being like, hey, what's up? How's it going? What are we going to do now? So that part was like, it was crazy that all of a sudden I was like part of the process, because I grew up hanging out with my mom on set all the time.

But for you, was it like kind of how it was for me, where you, like, had I been older and understood all the adult responsibilities of rent and taxes and all that stuff, the stakes of auditions and the stakes of performing well when at work would be so much higher than as kids, we were like, oh, this is great, fuck, I get to take the day off from school and we're just kind of like playing around. And so the stakes were lower, it was more fun. And so therefore it wasn't quite as anxiety inducing. Yeah?

Absolutely. I mean, I think I like, grew into that. I think when I was, yeah, you know, when you're little and you're just like, yeah, I can do this and everyone else thinks I can.

Well, my anxiety came later.

It's not to be a weirdo, but that's definitely just comes with the hormonal surge of like, oh, no, do I need to consider like having sex now? And I have to consider it. And you're like, well, now my life's complete. I'm debilitated.

But, JB, what age was it, JB, that you also had the thing when you were a kid of like providing. So like doing the work was a way of contributing.

Yeah. I mean, it was difficult.

But you didn't know about that.

I did. I was keenly aware of it and it was fucking stressful because, remember work permits?

So what you were just saying wasn't true.

At the start, though, at the start, it was all kind of fun and games. But then, as I kind of got into, like 14, 15, 16, 17, and school got harder. and, you know, remember, with work permits, you had every six months your work permit had to get renewed and they would renew your work permit based on your grades. You had to hold at least a C average, and that's not difficult. But if you know you have to, it becomes difficult, especially when you're looking down.

to keep your grades up, kind of dipping in and out?

Because I was really good at cheating. Because when you're on the set doing school, it's only three hours a day and it's just you and the tutor and you can kind of, like, you know, hide a bunch of notes.

In college, I would be,

You ruined your peripheral vision from cheating. So then, Kristen, so then, how old were you when you did the first of the Twilight films?

17.

17.

I mean,

and talking to the extent of, quote, Jason, to the extent to which you're comfortable about, like that process of being part of something.

Yeah, now you're famous.

Yeah, famous in a way that.

You can't go out and around.

But also like in a way that very few people experience, especially at that kind of rate.

Yeah, that was, and also 17 is like the most awkward age ever.

Right, right, right. It's like me saying, where do you live?

It's like, are you guys asked about your first like partners? Right. Every time you do an interview about like, obviously like the series comes up, it's where I come from. It's like, oh, well, what about that? And you're like, it's crazy that people are still asking me about that first, dude.

Well, yeah, you know, I, I didn't, I didn't have that and I didn't go to college either.

And I'm the dummy that has like, and now I want to ask who is the dude? Like? I have no idea.

I don't either, by the way.

Like. it was such a phenomenon. I, as I remember, I apologize. I have not seen them. Everybody got famous really fast.

I mean, like we were all so different. I don't know. I think about that. I'm like, like the first picture that I ever saw of myself in a like newspaper was in the Post. It sounds like so old school too.

Yeah.

But I just thought that was such a big deal.

Was there a moment there where you considered like things would be. so this was fun, but things would be so much easier if I got back to anonymity.

I have to say I felt like at the time that I could have like redirected energy and like become an academic.

Singularly focused, yeah.

And you had your eyes on the end of that tunnel. when you're done with your obligation on the franchise, you could start doing other movies that were a little bit more exciting to you?

Well, we all kind of, if we were able to, like, tried to like slam one in in between, and so that was why it was kind of like such a loaded period, because we were like either promoting one of these movies, making one of these movies or trying to shove in something that gave you some like variation, and not in terms of what it like, was like for other people. but just so you could like do something other than play that one part for fucking six years.

But then, at the tail end of that, did you find yourself like was there sort of a moment of like relief or just like, I'm sure it was a great experience. I don't mean in that sense. I just mean that, like just the absolute kind of you know, making five films in four years and everything that comes with that and all the exterior pressures and all the, did you find that moment of like fuck where you could just kind of exhale and kind of take a second?

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

I bet.

And then the great news is that you did start to make, you know, films that were not to disparage those films at all, but films that were very, very different and, it seems, a little bit more on your sort of.

It's incredible. Especially Spencer. I thought you were just incredible. I know.

So, so, so good. I couldn't agree more.

Unbelievable.

Nice to say all that. Thanks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, truly.

I mean, you're thought of as just one of our great actors, you know, and like that's like not a lot of people come out of, you, know, franchises like that and then get the kind of credibility that you have earned. and so it's just, it's just, it's awesome.

Well, it feels like, Kristen, like you've had kind of like three careers in such a, or like four, like you've had, you've done so many different things and now you've got this new film coming out that look, like I said, I obviously haven't seen it yet. It was just at Sundance.

I can't wait to see it.

Right? How was the reception at Sundance? It must have been awesome.

It was really fun. It was cool because I hadn't done like a, I think we, what was called like a midnight screening, and I was nervous because I fall asleep in movies past 7 p.m. Like no matter what. And I was like, we have to screen our movie. Like everyone's gonna be sleepy and sick, and like altitude sick, and like it was just like a cesspool.

Oh, wow.

We'll be right back.

All right. Back to the show.

So what do you, what's the kind of stuff that you do look for now? because you have, like you are kind of doing lots of different kinds of films, and so, as you kind of think about what, what's, you know, you know, the things that, that, that attract you, the things that, that excite you in terms of filmmaking. Like what, what are the, like? what are the things that are out there, that you're like, fuck,

it's so hard to answer that all the time, you know what I mean? Like, especially as an actor, you're like, you know it when you see it, and then you feel like a crazy person because it's like, do anything to make it happen. but then, before you see it, you're just sort of floating in this liminal, like, I want to want something. But I, but we're kind of starting to,

for small movies.

Yeah. Is this, but this is not the film you're directing, though, right? This is different from the film that you're directing?

This is the one I'm trying to direct.

This is the one you're trying to direct. Okay, so you have talked about it. This is, this is Chronology of Water.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And would that be?

the first film that you direct?

Yeah.

First feature. Yeah, first feature. Oh, my God, how exciting.

I was going to get to that, J.

I mean, for, what is the draw, Kristen? Like, do you, are you attracted to the sort of holistic, sort of four corners, you know, you got to do it all kind of thing, as opposed to just the acting lane and playing a character? Because that's kind of what's the draw for me, and more interface with the crew.

I feel like on movies that I really love making, I, you get to be a part of the crew and, like, directors that let you into that process, it's like, it doesn't always happen, but sometimes you're sort of like, we're all making this. Right. Even though there's, like, clearly somebody who spearheads and, like, obviously, the perspective that's being maintained comes from a singular place. It still feels like everyone's hand is in a balanced way supporting, like, the weight of that and so, like, as an actor, I always feel like the director's in the scene with me, or at least, or I don't always, but when it's good, I feel like we've done it. I don't know.

And have a plan and communicate that plan to a team and be a motivator. and just, I got you guys. Here's what we're going to do. and just, maybe trust me, if you're not seeing it, you will and, like, are you, are you like that in other parts of your life? Like, are you, are you the one that comes up with the great idea for where, where we're going to throw the party or where, where we're going to go to dinner and who should be at the dinner, where they should sit?

Type A.

Yeah, I'm like a total control freak. I'm like, if I could just design everything all the time. Truly? I have to, I have to hold myself back from being like, this is what everyone should do. Yeah,

but I feel like the control freak, I know you're kind of, you're being sort of self-effacing there, but it does kind of get a bad rap. It's, we have to come up with a better term than control freak because it's such, such a pejorative when really it's like.

you're like a fucking rebel rouser. You're like,

you're like somebody.

who's like, let's go, man. Like, let's, like,

follow me. I got an idea. You're going to love it.

I recently was, I was like, I was hitting, I was, I was at, do you guys, does anyone play golf? You guys seem like so.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hell yeah, let's go.

Will and I have a sickness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too,

but it's so, I'm like fully, I totally fucked up my ring finger because there's this like bump on it that I hate so much, but it's not going to go anywhere.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Are you serious?

You're a golfer?

I have made a hole in motherfucking one.

Kristen Stewart, we're making screws today. This is crazy. I've never had a hole in one. I hate you. I've been playing.

Jason shot a 70.

It was.

Oh, I've never, I've never shot a par. I mean, I'm single holes, but I've never parred any course, like not even the one that I'm, not even the one that I live next to, which is weird. Like it's like the Bermuda triangle, because I've like birdied, birdied, birdied, and then, just like fucking shit the bed and like ruined it and just like,

is this, are you naturally gifted or have you, have you studied this? Have you taken lessons?

My dad taught me how to swing when I was little, and then I didn't play until a pandemic, and then I started playing.

all the time. That's what, that's what we did.

So wait, so you're out there at public courses. there? You're going to like Wilson, Harding and, and, and Balboa. Yeah. Have you not?

Oh, my God. She's showing us a,

she's showing us the, the, the, the crest from the local public golf course.

Yeah. The par three down the street. As a tattoo.

on your forearm, you are a badass.

Wow. That is so,

it's big too. I really went in. I was, me and my friends like finished up and we had this great game and we had a bunch of beers and we're like, let's go. We're best friends. We'll be best friends forever.

Wow. Wait a second. You got that tattoo after a few beers because I was literally just scouting today, a tattoo place here in the East Village, and I said to the guy, I said, what are your hours? usually? He goes, well, you know, you're supposed to stay up until about two in the morning, but they get too many drunks in here that want tattoos and then they come back the next day and they say, hey, can you take this off?

No, because it like thins, your blood and you don't make, you know, choice, choices, but he was a friend of a friend and he's an idiot, and so here we are. But I still like it.

I don't know if I've made bad decisions at drinking. Let me think about it.

Wait, Kristen, I really want to play golf with you. one day. I'm going to get a hold of you and one day we're going to, I'm going to take you out to,

JB's out of town. Kristen, you can come play with me because I'm, he's not at the club right now, but I am. Yeah, I'm going to play golf.

until October.

Well, after you guys golf, Kristen, I read somewhere a while ago that you like cooking. I love cooking. But wait, Sean,

you can't change the fucking subject.

Why not? What else are we going to talk about golf for? You swing the ball in the middle of the hole.

and you move on?

You can't just hijack the conversation. Dude,

you get really hungry playing golf. Yeah, We just have dinner after.

That's what I'm saying, chili burgers or whatever. Yeah,

you're speaking Sean's language.

Have you just been playing the public courses or have you gone around to all the country clubs too?

I've been taken to like one or two really fancy courses. It's a completely different vibe.

It is, right?

Yeah.

There's some good and some bad.

Oh, you don't like middle-aged white guys?

I like you guys. Yeah, but pervasively I will say sort of on the whole.

Yeah, that's good.

Anyway, that's so cool. That's so, so, so, so, so, so cool that you do that and we came to play with you.

Shawny, a food question?

Yeah, yes. So do you cook with butter or oil?

Oh,

actually, it's very weird that you ask that, because last night I made a pomodoro and I used a bunch of butter and I was like, I know you're kind of kind of bit of a cheat, but if you like, emulsify the shit out of it. it gets all frothy and amazing and you miss this. And it was really incredible, but this morning I thought, you could probably do that with olive oil, and it would be just, it would be different, maybe less rich, but you still could get that frothy kind of.

Right, Sean? Sean, does your chef agree? So, I mean, do you agree?

It's all about that pasta water.

But wait, why would one want to go with olive oil instead of butter? Because it's healthier or a different taste?

Well, it's also a little more Italian to use oil than butter. That's the thing.

Because at least in America, we did butter.

Please, take one coffee.

I like the oil.

And they're also, they're smoking.

Are you one of those people, because of your self-described kind of, quote, control freak, like you said, do you cook for all your friends and like groups of people? Like, do you like to command the kitchen?

Yeah, yeah, I did Thanksgiving this year.

Oh, you did? By yourself?

How'd that go?

Me and my girlfriend did it. Like, and then people brought stuff, and it was so annoying because we had, we were so inundated with food, and mine was, like, ours was really great. And then we had all these, like, dishes, sort of muddying the waters. And I was like, what is all this bullshit?

Which is, sounds mean. In their shitty pots, in their tacky pans.

Again, it's not control freak, it's Dream Maker. I think it's Dream Maker.

Yeah, that's right. Did you do the turkey and everything?

Yeah.

I hear that's not easy.

I have a, I really figured it out. You have to get it in pieces. Like, to do the whole thing is really difficult. But if you get it in different pieces, and then, like, the neck and back are, it's really gnarly to talk about meat in this way, but are, like, detached, and get that dry brine going, and so it's, like, all encrusted.

So you've done this before?

Yeah.

Wow. Now, how did you get the cooking bug? Did mom or dad cook when you were growing up?

Yeah, they did a bit. I'm just, like, I'm kind of a stoner, and I'm just really food obsessed. So, like, I-.

You get a little snacky, and you want something nice.

Yeah, and I like playing in the kitchen. But do you guys cook, too?

Yeah, well, I started baking because I started with a cheesecake, and I was like, I want, because I wanted a piece of cheesecake.

His cheesecake is so good, by the way.

And so I'm sitting there craving a piece of cheesecake, and I'm like, well, why don't I just get off my ass and make it? So I just made it.

It's so good.

Because the chef didn't show up yet. She usually shows up at four or five. And Sean's doing real well, Kristen.

Real well. Do you ever make shit food like Sloppy Joe's? I make Sloppy Joe's a lot, too.

Yeah, I have, like, I'm definitely low and high. I'm just making fun of the Slop.

No, no, wait, you have low and high? Is that what you said?

Yeah, like, I like to be fancy, and also, like, you know, scuzzy.

You go low and high.

We're Sloppy Joe's scuzzy?

How are you, now, you know, Sean is in great shape. He's a beautiful man, super handsome. But he does have his little cookie pouch.

Yeah.

And that's from all of the fun food that he eats. Why do you have no cookie pouch, Kristen? You're talking like-.

I have a cookie pouch. No, you're very fit.

I guess what I'm getting to is, you don't have, like, a huge workout regimen that offsets. Like, you don't work out so that you can eat.

I mean, I have gotten, as I've grown, into a reasonable adult who's not a total shit show, I actually do exercise and, like, cook healthy food and try not to eat the meat, and, like, I've incorporated some, it's like, I'm either eating Sloppy Joe's and, like, drinking Coors and playing Los Feliz three times a day, or I am, like, working out constantly and, like-.

Yeah, yeah.

Right, and depriving yourself yummy stuff for a week or two.

Yeah.

Yeah, like, or just more, I don't know, I kind of like going, like, all in on whatever I'm going in on, so, like-.