#2033 - Matt Rife

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Let's go, Matt Rice. Let's do it. Let's start off the show.

Are you still in L.A. right now?

Technically, yeah. Technically, you're on the road, right? I mean, I'm home three days a week, or three days a month, maybe.

You're just constantly touring.

Yeah, it's a dream come true, man. Careful what you wish for. But long time coming, you know?

Well, I don't know. It's not careful what you wish for. It's just, you just have to learn how to manage this new thing now. It's great, though. It's not careful.

Oh, absolutely. No, if I could sleep like a normal human being, I think I'd be just fine.

Yeah, we were just talking about that. You have serious insomnia. Have you done anything to try to mitigate that? Have you taken melatonin? Have you tried any herbal?

I've OD'd on melatonin, dude. I've taken 30 milligrams in a night. You build up a tolerance to melatonin. You have to stop using it for a little while. I do have to smoke every single night to even have a chance of falling asleep.

Wow, so you just get some of that. Be Real Indica, some of that Cypress Hill shit?

Oh, yeah, dude, until I just am deformed in bed.

And that puts you out?

Not really. Wow. I can stay awake on Xanax and everything. It's so interesting. If you picture a light switch to turn your brain off, I just can't.

Your switch doesn't work.

No, and I think it's like, after thinking about it for years, I think it's the same mechanism in my brain that allows me to think quickly on stage. that keeps my brain up at night. I just think about anything. It's not even anxiety. It's just anything.

It's just frantic thoughts just bouncing around in your head.

Yeah, anything from middle school memories to, like, man, it's crazy how leaves are green and then brown. sometimes. It's just fucking anything. My dick is like, please don't beat me again. I've tried everything.

I've tried everything.

I promise.

Wow.

I know. I know. It sucks because, obviously, as much as I work out, your muscles, don't get that time to recover because they can't build.

Well, and your brain doesn't get that time to recover. Oh, yeah. Your immune system suffers. Everything suffers when you don't sleep. I've made a really conscious effort over the last year to get a lot of sleep, and I've fucked it up quite a few times with the club, because there's been times with the club where, like, at least three nights a week when I'm performing, you know, I'm out until 2 o'clock in the morning, and generally I wake up around 8 to start working out.

I've heard.

You've got to try it.

I don't think I've even been in a REM sleep in five years, dude.

Oh, that doesn't make sense.

It's so not good. You'd be dead. I feel dead, dude.

But you're not. You feel alive.

I've stayed awake for nine straight days before. What? Yeah.

I don't even think that's possible.

I think the world record is like 11 or 13, because I looked into it, because I genuinely started to get, like, fearful for my own health. Jesus Christ. Do you agree with needing eight hours? Because I've heard so many different theories.

No, I don't think everybody needs eight hours. I just know I do. There's no way I could know what's going on in other people's bodies.

You mean case by case?

Yeah. I think it's like everything with biology. Biology varies so much by genetics and life experiences. What have you done leading up? Have you just been sedentary your whole life, or have you been very active?

And it changes over time as well, doesn't it? Like, didn't people evolve from sleeping in, like, four-hour increments or something like that?

I mean, I'm sure they did. I'm sure they didn't get a chance to just fucking chill. You know, they were getting eaten by cats.

Yeah.

You know, that's the, you know, the rub on people. It's like we still have these genetics that are from 10,000, 15,000 years ago, when life was very different, and those are still the same genetics. That's why we're still looking for, like, tribal leaders and shit. We're looking for, like, a president, a prime minister. We're looking for, like, one person still.

Leaders used to fight in wars, dude.

Yes, and that was how we sort of figured out what to do. We went to the person who had experienced the most, not the person who's been paid off the most, not the person who's got the fucking shadiest insider dealings with the party that has the most influence.

Oh, I know.

God damn it.

I'm so happy I take zero part in any politics whatsoever. Good for you. I'm the least politically informed person you'll probably ever meet. And I know I'm taking pride in naivety, but.

Well, for your own self-preservation, that's probably a good idea. I've always said that, like, voting and, like, politics in this country, is a lot like rooting on pro wrestling. Damn. It might make you feel better, but I'm not sure how much it affects the outcome.

That's a very good point.

It seems like, at the very end of the day, the same people are getting all the money.

Yeah.

And don't think about it in terms of whether or not you can vote in your party. You most certainly can. And don't think about it. They most certainly can enact social change, and they can do some good things, especially in relationship with the Supreme Court and a lot of other things. But at the end of the day, the real people that are running the show are the people that are getting these massive defense contracts, massive pharmaceutical contracts, the billions and trillions of dollars that's being generated by various industries.

That's what's running the show. Man, you're speaking Mandarin Chinese right now.

That's not the fucking old dude that keeps getting tripped by ghosts. He's not your leader.

Are you a big ghost guy?

I believe it's possible.

I'm obsessed. Are you? So a really weird side hobby of mine, I go ghost hunting. I've been, like, around the world. Yeah.

What have you experienced? Have you ever had, like, an absolute moment where you're like, oh, my God, I'm in the presence of a poltergeist?

Not.

Isn't the EVP, like, a radio, though?

No, EVP is just a recorder.

It's a recorder. What is that radio thing? I'm sorry, then. What is the one where they, like, listen?

There's a bunch of different names.

My daughter's heavily into this shit.

What does she watch? Heavily.

Sam and Colby.

You had them on, right? Yes. Great guys. So I met these other guys. There's another channel called the Overnight Channel, who are equally as popular as Sam and Colby.

So these kids, the Sam and Colby guys, just went into the Conjuring house.

I was just there maybe a month and a half ago.

You went into the Conjuring house, too?

By myself, Joe.

Okay. Do you believe that there's something going on in that house? The Conjuring movies are fucking great.

It's my favorite franchise.

They're fun. And there's so many of them. They really did it right. If you want to be smart, they branched off with the Nun. They branched off with Annabelle.

And I love the way they tie in the story in each one to make it all one chronological story. It's genius.

What do you think? So do you think a ghost is like the soul of a person that's left behind? Or do you think the ghost is almost like space and time, because of a horrible incident, contain a memory? And, like that, memory is almost like it like shows up in current time. sometimes.

Inanimate objects?

Yeah. That things contain memories. And this is one of the reasons why, like people kind of universally support this idea that if someone was murdered in a house, you must tell the people, inform the people that are about to buy it. You have to tell them, hey, somebody got murdered in this house. Like, maybe you don't want to buy this house.

Does the potential owner have to ask that information?

It's a good question.

I'd want to know. Yeah.

I think it's a good question. I think they should have to inform you, because there's something about someone being murdered in a spot that freaks us out. And this is my question. How you knew the conjured house was haunted, right? So you go there with this feeling and this expectation.

Yeah.

I think the way you think has an unmeasured effect in terms of like this. There's energy that you put out. There's connections you make with people. They're very, very unmeasured.

And you don't manifest your own perception of things, for sure.

Yeah. So what my concern is, is like, if you go into a place with a preexisting knowledge of ghosts, like you think ghosts are here, you think ghosts are real. You have this thought in your mind that you maybe experience a ghost in this place that's haunted. You're at this elevated level of anticipation. You're probably really nervous and kind of freaked out, and your imagination starts firing up.

I could see that being possible. But to me, that's what's so exciting about it is like you go hoping for those solidified answers. You're going hoping to witness something that you couldn't have possibly made up.

But you know why. I think that too? It's like you never see them in the daytime. Ghosts don't exist on the street. Yeah, but not outside.

They're never outside. That's a very good point.

That's my point. It's like you're always trapped. So you're always in this like weird space. Like if you had a wolf in your house, you'd be freaked out. You don't want to get outside.

Yeah.

Any time you're in a contained area, your brain has this heightened sense of like, being trapped in awareness. Yeah. And how do you escape? I mean, every horror movie is the same. You got to get to the door.

You know where that makes the most sense? We did the USS Hornet up in the Bay Area. Yeah. And we had the whole ship to ourselves, which I was so excited about because I love military stuff. I love history.

That totally makes sense. And I would imagine also the feeling of being underwater is an extra freak out.

I didn't think about that, but now I have anxiety about it.

I mean, literally, if you're deep enough in the ship, you're under the water.

That's a very good point.

And somehow metal floats? What the fuck?

I don't understand it whatsoever. I just don't get it. Because of the shape? What?

To me, it's always been like, what?

Yeah, a rock that size would fucking sink, right?

I don't know what's going on. I'm too stupid to figure out most.

Physics is so confusing.

Get a fiberglass boat. That makes sense. But they didn't have fiberglass. Get a wood boat. That makes sense.

Giant ships?

One of those battleships. Imagine if they had to make battleships out of wood. Dude. We have battleships, but they have to be out of wood.

Fuck. Let's go back to having to fight with swords while we're at it as well.

Did you ever do? Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland?

I've been one time, and it's fucking terrifying. No. No, dude. Are you scared of everything? No, I'm scared.

Right, like one of them would come alive. Yeah. But what I was getting to is there's a scene when you're going down the river, in the raft, where these two ships are shooting at each other with cannonballs. And it makes you think about what the fuck that would have been like living back then.

Oh, you had to be a man.

You're on a wooden thing floating around the ocean, and you're both shooting things that make holes in the woods to sink them.

Yup. And you're out in the middle of the ocean. Which would you have rather had done in that situation? Would you rather rely on the cannons, or would you hope they get close enough that you had to battle it out hand-to-hand? I like my odds hand-to-hand.

Both suck.

Yeah, they're not ideal.

Because it depends on numbers. It depends on experience. Have you had food lately? Have you been starving for the last week and a half, and then all of a sudden you get hit by pirates? A lot of those guys barely made it.

It's impressive. And also, the ocean's fucking terrifying. You ever see the videos of these giant ships in the middle of the ocean just getting vertical on these waves? That's terrifying.

And their food was nothing. It was garbage. They got scurvy. They got all kinds of diseases. There was rats on board.

No, I don't think I could have made it. Fuck. I would have stayed in England, for sure.

And by the time you get there, you're so worn out. I don't know how long it takes by sailboat to get from England to America. How long does that take?

Was it just sails back then, too? Yeah. Fuck, yeah. There's no propeller. Wow.

Those people were so gangster. They didn't even know what was over there. They thought they were in India.

That's so fucking funny.

Bro, they thought that they were in India. That's so wrong.

And they kept calling people the wrong thing.

To this day, we call them the wrong thing. Sailing from New York City to London takes about six nights and seven days, depending on your speed. That's because of the famous Royal Places, Big Ben, and double-decker buses of London. Yeah, but I don't think that's today.

I don't buy that.

I thought it took, like, weeks.

That's not that bad. No, I believe that number.

Yeah, 30 days is pretty good.

I mean, that's still so uncomfortable.

That's if everything goes well.

Oh, yeah. Do you ever see that video going around recently of those potential mermaids on the side of that ship in the middle of the ocean? No.

What? What are you talking about? Are you serious? Potential mermaids?

Jamie, you know what I'm talking about?

Is this some CGI nonsense? There is, like, a guy sailing on the back of the ship, and you can hear moans, right, sort of?

So there's, like— Oh, God. It's just a dude on a blurry cell phone video. It looks like a good cell phone video. And there's these things that are, like, racing on the side of the boat, that are going the same speed as the boat. And there's, like, a tail or something trailing behind them, and this keeps up for hours.

Let me see those mountains.

I need to see those mountains. You hear what sounds like one of them say, jump for me?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

How do you think this is real? There's no way this is real. Imagine if this is, like, the beginning of a movie, right? You and I are having this podcast. We're being super skeptical.

This is a fun world to live in.

Is it this one?

Yeah, this guy.

All right. So this video is a couple years old, but— Oh, okay.

No fucking way!

Wait. I just threw this overboard. Y'all saw me throw it overboard.

Are you fucking kidding me?

That did not just—. So what is this guy saying? He's got a couple videos.

It looks like he spent a lot of time out in the water. That looks like—.

So where are the mermaids?

And this is a much longer video than I've ever seen. Well, that was one of the sounds. There you go.

I didn't hear a jump for me. Did you hear a jump for me, Jamie? No.

It's one of those things that somebody did the subtitles for at one time, and that noise makes your brain register it a little bit easier.

He just has a few videos like this. But where's the video of the mermaids?

It was a part of the same one we were just watching, where you heard the squeal.

So in there, there's a mermaid?

Yeah, I think it's before this.

Somebody cut it off. Because what I have found is that Smash cut off a few videos this guy made.

Yeah, this is like a compilation. You know what? It could have been a whale. It could have been.

It was definitely mermaids, bro.

You know what? Whales do make that sound.

Whenever one dude in multiple videos is encountering mermaids, I get suspicious.

Your reaction right now is why I love to believe in ghosts, aliens, cryptids, bigfoot, mermaids, all that kind of shit. Because imagine this dude had a real experience.

I love the idea of all of those things you just mentioned. I really do. I love that. you love that stuff. I fucking love nonsense.

Yeah, and I imagine you've had that encounter and the rest of the world thinks you're a fucking psychopath. That would feel so lonely.

But that moment only lasted like 15 minutes. The weed wore off a little bit. I was like, that shit is so fake. This is a similar one. I don't know if you know anything about this.

I haven't seen this.

I've seen this video multiple times. Supposedly this guy saw a giant on the side of a hill. A giant? Yeah, I'm trying to find it.

So high?

He thought he saw it, so he goes back and he's looking for it. It looks like it's someone walking on the side of a hill. The perspective is very strange. Let me change the angle. The giant one is a fascinating one.

I don't know if I saw anything in the video.

Where's the giant? This is also a guy's making an edit about this whole story. He's trying to find this very specific video. So he's driving in his truck, and he sees a giant? Yeah, he's driving in his truck, and he sees something on the side of the hill.

I mean, it looks far as shit, but I also don't see anything.

The one you can find, I'll try to find it while I'm talking. What are you looking at? Do you see something?

I don't see anything.

Is there someone moving there? I'm trying to find the very specific thing. It looks just like this, and you can see a person. You can see the silhouette of a person on the side of that hill. It's weird.

I'm going to be completely honest. I don't know what I'm looking at in that video.

Yeah.

I saw the zoom in, but the zoom was in the sky.

It doesn't make sense to me either. I'm looking at it, and I'm like, I don't see shit. Where is this supposed to be?

The fact that that show has been on for so fucking long.

They're still finding bigfoot, bro.

They're working really hard. How do you get renewed with no results?

Here's a picture of what the video is.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, that could be a six foot tall dude up there.

Yeah. Also, humans are six foot seven, seven foot sometimes.

That's not that big. They're claiming this guy died, actually, apparently. The mountain guy up there? Apparently, no. This is an update.

Admission it was a hoax?

Then he died.

I would imagine so.

A lot of people are doing that, making these hoax videos. I'm sure.

That's a product of DMT, for sure.

That's how it goes viral. You've got to fake things. There's a lot of people faking things, for sure.

Make some kind of compelling case.

Yeah, Les Stroud is the shit. Survivorman, that guy's awesome. That guy did legit things. Do you remember seeing that show, Survivorman? I don't think so.

When was this on?

It was a while back. He used to go legitimately by himself with a very limited amount of tools. He would live in wild places, really dangerous places, and figure his way out and survive. A lot of times, you could see on the show he was losing 15 pounds, got really sick.

You watched that show alone on Netflix?

Yeah, it's similar, but this was one guy with his own cameras doing this everywhere.

So cool.

Remember when Bear Grylls had a show? There's multiple camera people and they're filming him doing wild things. That's what they wanted to do with him, and Les was like, uh-uh. This is the real thing. Les is obsessed with Bigfoot too, so he went looking for Bigfoot, but on one of the episodes, they're looking at this footage, and I'm looking at footage that looks to me like a guy in a monkey suit.

You'd shit your pants, man.

Yeah, but watch this. As I'm looking for it, he's looking for him again recently. No.

Here's the thing, though. Is it one?

If it's real, and he's right, then we look stupid.

Is there one, or is this a species?

Bro, there's so many people out there in the wild. You know who doesn't see Bigfoot? Hunters. The people that are really out there in the wild, they're not having these experiences.

Do they really? Like grizzly bears?

Especially black bears.

That's fucking terrifying.

Walking through the woods on two legs.

I've seen it. There's hunter videos of that.

I've seen it in person, with my own eyes. I've watched a black bear stand on his two legs and walk.

How tall can a black bear get?

Seven, eight feet. They're big animals, man.

I think a grizzly bear is the number one thing I'm afraid of in the world.

That should be right up there. They're a massive killing machine.

I remember being a kid at the Columbus Zoo. They have an exhibit there where you can go inside their cave. That's where they spend most of their time. You can see them up against the glass. Laying down, it's like four and a half feet, five feet tall.

What is this one?

Oh, my God. No.

It looks like Teen Wolf. When you see it in the show, it's like the guy zooms in on it and he gets a close-up. Bigfoot's just staring back at him. All these years, Bigfoot's been shy, but Bigfoot's like, it's time to let these motherfuckers know. Time to let these motherfuckers know.

Which one of these was Joey's?

This one right here.

I'm going to spark that back up.

It's. just, imagine if it is real. Imagine if that video is real, but it doesn't look real. In my limited experience, most things that look fake are fake. That looks fake as fuck.

Ah, damn it.

That looks fake as fuck. Look, his hair looks perfect. Nice and slick back.

It's so perfect.

Recently applied hair.

That literally looks like Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf.

He looks clean.

If that was a homeless dude, I wouldn't give him money.

Bear hair looks different than that.

I don't want to meet a bear up close. That's fucking terrifying.

They're a terrifying animal.

It's not great.

You're in this thickly wooded area. It's literally like a box of Q-tips. That's what the trees are like. They're stacked in there. Have you ever been in the Pacific Northwest?

That literally looks like a guy in a costume. That's crazy.

China sun bear. Right.

I will say no swinging arms, though. That would be the only sign that would make me think bear or not bear.

That bear had a wound, though. That bear was a bear that was missing one of its paws. One of the other bears probably bit his paw off.

Didn't somebody have their hands pulled off by a chimpanzee?

Yes.

That's fucking terrifying.

They're so strong. We can't even imagine. They're so strong and they're so aware of the things you want. Like your fingers. They bite your fingers off.

That is the most caveman shit I've ever heard of.

It's far beyond. They're so different than us, but yet so similar. Have you ever seen Chimp Nation on Netflix?

I don't think so.

Gotta, watch it. It's wild. What's up? Don't show me it.

Can I see it? Fuck, I'm sorry.

Just put it on screen. I don't want to see this lady's face. This is a lady that her friend had a chimpanzee. that was a pet.

That's what she did look like?

She went to visit the lady and the chimp tore her face apart.

Oh. She looks like a belly button.

Yeah, he tore her face apart. Holy shit. And he was just upset at her because she was cock blocking him.

Shut up. No.

Yeah, she used to sleep with the chimpanzee. She gave the chimpanzee Xanax and wine. This lady was nuts.

Was this Michael Jackson's monkey? This is living the best life ever.

It was way worse because it was a full grown male. And it was really big. It was like 200 pounds. Because it was eating well. How big was the chimpanzee when they shot it?

Very jealous.

They didn't even.

process, that emotion of jealousy. Such a human knew.

how to get out of the cage. Somehow or another.

So they probably knew the whole time.

I don't know if somebody fucked up and left something open and they noticed it and tore the guy apart. It could have been in the process of when they were getting the other chimp out so they could give him the cake that they saw this. So she knew the chimp. She knew the chimp, yeah. She came out with a Tickle Me Elmo, and the chimp lunged at her.

Oh, my god. I fucking hate Sesame Street.

It was the chimps favorite toy. Oh. She tried to steal his favorite toy. Oh, no. Oh, no.

That is fucking brutal.

How big was the chimp?

Almost domesticated.

Yeah, well, I think he's like I run this house. I shit right here. This is the living room. There's plenty of room in here.

Is there any kind of...

Is that him?

God damn.

He was massive.

That's one of the fattest chimps I've ever seen.

There was a photo of her when you get to see the perspective of the full grown chimp next to a human.

No, this looks like a drive through.

Trying to get in the car? Yeah, it does look like one of those. It says it's a 911 call from the chimp attack and that was describing the same thing. Oh, that might be him out there. Oh, look at the cop cars.

Can you imagine being the cop showing up? You don't know how to handle this fucking thing.

Not only that, he might rip the door right off the fucking car like it's made out of cardboard. He definitely could put his hand right through that window.

Do you think you even try to tase that? Do you think that does anything?

Yes. Tasing would work.

You think so? Because I've seen humans take a...

You use bullets. If the fucking chimp is eating people's faces and you see him on the street, you gotta put that motherfucker down. If you miss... She was taking his toy. How the fuck did she not know that that was his?

I don't think she just registered how primal.

dogs get with their toys. Dogs are trained. You're not training a chimp.

She could have been picking it up to give it to him.

I think it said she was leaving with it.

Also, why the fuck are you taking the toy in the first place?

Maybe she was trying to fuck with him. Maybe we're not... Maybe there was something going on.

Has anyone taken this stance from the monkey side?

No. The chimp plays for keeps. Taking the Elmo doll means you don't have a face anymore.

Just, whoa.

No. I like pets as pets. I appreciate wild animals for what they are. I think there's something real weird about owning them. And if you want to, I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to, but there's something fucking, very strange.

I want a pet otter.

Yeah, that's very strange.

They're fucking adorable.

Right, but wouldn't it be cooler if you saw an otter in a river and he's out there chilling, doing otter things.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Catching his own fish and eating them.

Cracking the fucking clams on their chest and shit. The cutest.

The cutest. Holding that fish and fucking eating his head.

I know. I just want a pet one so bad.

You see that lady's face who got fucked up by an otter?

Somebody was telling me about this. Is there a photo? Yeah. Jamie, I'm sorry to make you keep bringing up gruesome shit, but I gotta see this, because it's an unhealthy obsession I have with otters.

I don't know what happened.

Small. I've seen cats do worse. That's fine.

Yeah, but that's a fucking wild animal. Dude, if a squirrel was trying to fuck you up, But look how cute he is. Look, they're very adorable. They're absolutely adorable.

Little sea weasels?

Yeah, they're cute. If they were really domesticated, I don't know if you can domesticate them. I really know nothing about domesticating otters, but if that's possible, I think they'd be the cutest pets ever.

I'll find out.

They're adorable.

Have you seen the videos of them showing humans how to pet them? That's the cutest shit ever, dude.

That's pretty, fucking cute.

I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna do my research.

If that's really what they're like, if you domesticate them, that's pretty cool. I bet you can't have an aquarium.

Or you can and treat this motherfucking otter to a buffet whenever you want.

That's what it would be.

That'd be my ideal house.

Fighting and ripping.

Oh, but puppies, do that.

Yeah, puppies, do that. How do you teach an otter?

Maybe they're smarter than we think.

I don't know, man. Maybe it's just a thing they do when they're scared. Maybe that person was treating them wrong.

Yeah, I've seen people miss it. You ever see somebody who thinks they're really gentle with animals, but they're so rough? They pet dogs.

Oh, yeah. Some people slap dogs. Hey, buddy.

Or one hand pick them up in an awkward way. And you're like, I know you don't mean well, but you're doing this terribly.

Imagine being a chihuahua. Everybody's going to carry you.

Oh, I would hate to be a small dog.

What a fucking torturous life. Everyone has to carry you everywhere.

You have a dog, right? You have a golden retriever?

Yes. He's great. He's the best.

I want one so bad.

They're the sweetest dogs of all time. He's just a sweetheart to everybody. He's just a big old love sponge. Super sweet, friendly.

I want a golden retriever, a German shepherd. I would love to have.

So beautiful. So smart. Those are dogs that need activity.

Yeah, they need stimulation.

They need activity. You can't just have a German shepherd and keep him in a little yard going out of his fucking mind like he's in prison.

Also, what a waste of talent. They're so smart and so impressive.

They're very smart dogs. Very smart dogs. They're a different kind of dog. That's a working dog.

People want different things than a dog. I just got my mom for Mother's Day last year this tiny little thing that's literally the size of this coffee mug. You could accidentally squish it so easy. Also, what does that come from? That's not a descendant of a wolf.

It is.

How does that happen?

Selective breeding. There's a thing that happens with animals. We don't totally understand it, but they've done this study with foxes. Where they took foxes and over a period of not that many generations, what they did was, any time a fox displayed any aggression towards people, they killed it.

gets thicker all over the body. Just instinctually.

Now they know they're on their own and their body morphs. Wow. So their appearance, morphs.

That's an incredible genetic. It's crazy.

So there's different kinds of pigs, but they're all the same animal. It's all, I think the genus is called Seussgrapha and that, when you see a wild boar, a lot of them could have descended from domesticated pigs. Because people have pig farms and pigs get out, fences break, and the pigs get loose. And some of those pigs they just keep having piglets, but they're wild pigs. Yeah.

happens. Very quick evolution.

See if you can find how much time it takes for a domesticated pig to start.

This is what I love about you and your show. You're very insightful on a lot of things. I find very, very fascinating. You're like a Bill Nye, the Science Guy, I offer people DMT. I got plenty of stupid information.

that fascinate me. But, if you look at it that way, right, if a pig becomes harder in the wild and a wolf becomes softer with domestication, if you just kept doing that, and like, softening it, like, when you associate those little tiny fluffy dogs, what are you associating with? Like, some lady who's got a nice house and a nice car and she's got a nice little fluffy dog that sits next to her. Like, they've taken that wolf and knocked it down to that. For thousands of years.

It's funny, I feel like the same thing happens to humans. I mean, like, when we got trapped inside for two years, softened the fuck up.

Yeah, and also society. The needs of, like, society, especially society like ours, it's not engaged in war on our shores, where there's not, like, a physical threat of actual violence from the enemy. You know, you tend to soften things up. And the same sort of experiment is going on with male human beings. It's going on with dogs and wolves.

I've heard that quote on this show so many times. Hard times bring hard people. Hard people bring easy times. Easy times, easy people, or whatever it is. I'm paraphrasing.

Yeah, hard times create hard men. Hard men create easy times. Easy times create soft men. Soft men create hard times. Vicious cycle.

That's...and how many piglets do they usually have, like eight? That's a good question.

I think it's about six, if I had to guess. It might be more. What is the average litter of a pig?

Is that what they'd be called? Litters?

I think. I'm just guessing.

They're so smart, too.

Yeah.

litter. Man, the amount of tabs you have open at this browser is so funny.

7.5.. The average litter size is 7.5.. It's not uncommon for a sow to have 12 to 14 pigs per litter.

How do you have a half? Just one little midglet?

It's just an average. You know, some 15, some 13,, some 12.. Thank you, Jamie. That's pretty nuts, man. That's pretty nuts.

Oh, of course.

Wait,

What Bible chapter is this in?

They missed that part. Hippos, scare the fucking shit out of me.

Oh, I mean, that's a dinosaur.

They are so insane.

And aren't they relatively aggressive?

Oh, super aggressive. And they go after boats. They take people out. You know, the thing about hippos is it's one of those other animals that, for whatever reason, when we anthropomorphize, when we give them, like, human characteristics, we make them sweet. Hungry, hungry hippo.

Klondike bars. So aggressive. They're terrifying. No, fuck all that.

We do that with so many terrifying animals. You know, fucking Yogi Bear. We turned one of the scariest animals.

in the forest into your buddy. Hey, boo-boo, let's get us a picnic basket. Remember that?

Yeah.

Dude, Yogi Bear was, like, this sweetheart. And how many people grew up thinking bears were their friends because of that stupid shit? And then these dummies, you go out in the woods, and you're like, oh, no. People used to look at bears for what they are. And then teddy bears came around.

Yeah. And then Build-A-Bear's, responsible for a lot of deaths. Oh. People, don't talk about that enough.

I don't think Build-A-Bear's responsible. But the teddy bears. By the time Build-A-Bear came, it was already Disney movies. It was already too late. Yeah.

Oh, my God. They're on your side. Have you seen that video of somebody hanging in the background of the Wizard of Oz?

What?

Oh, this is very popular.

Now, I remember. I think it is. I think that's like...

Some people say it's a bird. Some people say it's a bird in the background.

I thought it was, like, somebody who worked on the set.

They said it was one of the little people. Yeah. They were the first person to go on Sackstrike.

Oh, no. Unpacking the myth.

of the hanging monster.