Are You Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired!

2024-03-12 01:56:20

The Ramsey Show believes you can build wealth and take control of your life—no matter what stupid mistakes you've made with money. Join as Dave Ramsey and his team of experts answer your questions on the top problems holding you back. Listen now or ask your question live by calling 888.825.5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET. Learn more at www.ramseysolutions.com

1Speaker 1
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual, amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author and host of the extremely popular Dr. John Deloney show on YouTube and podcast, is my co-host today.

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as we answer your questions about your life and your money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. you jump in, we'll talk. Tayshia is with us to start this hour. she's in Columbus.

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Hi, Tayshia, what's up? Hi, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's going on in?

3Speaker 3
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your life? So I have been working my way out of bed. I actually found your page on tik-tok, which made me want to start working my way out of bed. So I have started my emergency fund, which I don't know if I'm working backwards. so I started my emergency fund first and I will say that I have now gotten myself out of overdrafting any of my accounts.

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Good for you. How long has it been since you've?

1Speaker 1
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started? How long ago did you start the overdrafting? Has it been like your whole life? Yeah, it's been my whole life thing. This is a breakthrough, isn't it?

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kid? The way to go.

3Speaker 3
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Yeah, it is. and then, once I found like your financial thing it's taken me about six weeks to save. I'm up to $3,300.. I have $3,000 in my savings account. I'm at my checking account.

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What do you make?

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So this is a thing. with one job I make $27.. So I work three different jobs. I work two full-time jobs, one part-time. About a year, I am averaging about $90,000 a year, but I don't really see any of it because of how much I'm in and how much my spending was out of control.

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Yeah, first the spending. yeah. How much debt have you got?

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So when I went to go try to file for bankruptcy, it was about $30,000.

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. Did you file for bankruptcy? No, I didn't, because they told me I didn't qualify.

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So how much is it all student loans? Most of it was. I have small credit cards that are like $600 and then. You.

1Speaker 1
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said was. Is it gone?

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Well, no, it's still there. Okay, so it is. then. It is. Yeah.

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So we.

3Speaker 3
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you have how much in student loans?

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I have about $15,000 in student loans. I have a car note which I have left, about $6,000, and then the rest of it is just credit cards that I messed up when I was younger. You 27?.

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I'm 33.

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. 33..

1Speaker 1
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Okay, yeah, you're in that range. That's where I figured. I was gonna say 30, but I didn't want to. Okay, good for you. Good for you.

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Well, so you're ready to go. You're ready to try new stuff because you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. Am I right? Yes. I'm proud of you.

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Good work. All right. so here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna put you into Financial Peace University, which is our nine-week class. I'm gonna pay for it, because you're why I do this.

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People that are like you. The first time in your whole life, adult life, you're not doing overdraft because we taught you something and now we're gonna teach you how to get rid of this debt and we're gonna teach you how to control this $90,000 and I'm gonna teach you how to be a millionaire. Would that be okay?

3Speaker 3
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Yes. Yes. I'm really crying right now. This is something I like. This has been my dream to talk to you, because it's just like this.

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I've never even saved, ever saved, $3,000 in my life. I literally have an account now that I get money transferred to and I don't need to look at that account until, like payday comes and I just check to make sure whatever money I have, the percentage is put there.

1Speaker 1
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It's not a bad start, but I want it to be even more powerful than that where you don't have to hide it from yourself because you're so freaking strong.

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That's where we're gonna go, okay? Okay. So, with the Financial Peace University, there's a thing called the EveryDollar budgeting app that we're also gonna hook you up with. We're gonna pay for all of it, and that's where you're gonna give every one of your dollars a name before the month begins and you're gonna make your, you're gonna tell your money what to do instead of wondering where it went for the first time in your life. and then we're gonna start working our way through these debts and we're gonna list the debts smallest to largest and making $90,000.

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if you will stay out of restaurants and not go on vacation because you ain't scared to work. You know how to work. I don't have to teach you that one. You got that going on. So you're gonna make $90,000..

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We're gonna use $30,000 of it and in one year from right now, you're gonna be a hundred percent debt-free for the first time in your adult life. Are you ready? Yes. All right. You can do it.

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You can do it because $90,000 minus $30,000 is $60,000.

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. You can live on $60,000 once you get your crap together.

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Right? Yes, I can. Okay. So we'll get the car paid off, cut up the credit cards. We're gonna get rid of those.

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We're gonna get rid of Sally Mae. You don't need a roommate named Sally Mae. She's an ugly woman. We don't want her in your house. All right?

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Okay. You're gonna make every dollar behave. You're gonna be thinking about every dollar before it comes and where it's gonna go, and it's gonna be on task and on goal, because Tayshia is not gonna be the same woman one year from today that she was four months ago.

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Okay?

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Okay. And the other thing is, John and I are here and anytime you need us while you're working on this, you just call back and we'll talk about whatever it is you're dealing with. Okay? Okay. All right.

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You think you can do it? I think you can do it. Yes, I can. I'm.

2Speaker 2
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excited. I think she can do it. Tayshia, I know you can. Hey, listen, as you get going, you're gonna have family members and friends calling out and saying, hey, now that you got all this money, can you help me out? And if they don't go on the budget, they don't go on the budget.

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Is that fair? Okay, it's fair. Yeah. How many.

3Speaker 3
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people you bail out on a regular basis? A lot?

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Majority is like my mom, friends who ask.

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I'm very much a loner and if they don't give it back, I'll just say whatever. But sometimes I don't understand, like, when I loan them money, I'm loaning something that I don't even have my own. I know. I can tell that's who you.

2Speaker 2
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are. And people who, people of character, who work as hard as you do, have leeches all around them. And part of you standing up tall for the first time, and Dave's gonna give you a path, he's gonna set you free, but he's gonna set you free in more ways than just your money. You're gonna have to learn to say no. You're gonna have to learn to say no, and you're gonna find freedom that you, you're gonna find strength you.

1Speaker 1
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didn't even know, you had.

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Yeah, but the answer is no. You're, listen, only the strong can help the weak, and you're broke. You need to quit, helping other broke people. Okay. Yeah.

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You gotta tell them, just say, no, I'm broke. Because you're broke. You got $30,000 in debt. You're broke. You're living on overdraft because you're helping other people.

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You're broke. So the answer, you're telling the truth. I can't help you. I'm broke. That's the answer all the time.

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No, I can't. I'm broke. I'm working on not being broke, and you can too. I'll show you how, but I'm working it. I'm not gonna do this.

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No. No is a complete sentence, Tayshia. You can use it on everyone, loved ones, and otherwise. Get them. Hold on.

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Austin will pick up. We'll get you signed up for all that. You call us when you need help. This is the Ramsey Show.

00:08:51.48 – 00:09:26.90

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com slash Ramsey. That's netsuite.com slash Ramsey.

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Dr. John DeLoney, number one best-selling author, host of the Dr. John DeLoney Show. Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Yesterday, we launched Dave Ramsey's Investing Essentials for sale.

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on May 21st and 22nd. I'm going to be doing a two-night event, two hours each night, virtually, and so you can watch it from the comfort of your little home or your big home, or wherever it is. you want to watch it. And we're going to walk through what I do with investing. This is stuff I've never done before, not in detail and length like this.

00:10:12.92 – 00:10:34.18

These are things that I've never done an event on it. I've shared this with wealthy people that I am coaching and I've got lots of friends that are, you know, net worth of a hundred million or five hundred million or a billion or whatever, and, you know, we talk about what they're doing. We share ideas back and forth. So what do you do? So we're going to talk about it.

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We're going to talk about what works, what doesn't, and why. And what. I open up my playbook, my real estate. I buy a lot of real estate. How do I do that?

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How do I analyze a piece of real estate? Under what situations do I buy real estate? Do I do cryptocurrency? A young man asked me that at the break and that kind of thing. So we get into every bit of that.

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Y'all know, I don't do cryptocurrency. That's already a given. So we're going to talk about the basics for a few minutes and get stuff like your 401k settled and that kind of thing. And then we're going to get into my personal strategies on extended investing things. A lot of people got a lot of opinions about investing.

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I actually do it. It's not just a theory. That's the difference. And it's got a lot, it's got some zeros on it. So we're going to help you.

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Go to RamseySolutions.

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com slash events. Tickets are $199.. May 21-22, Dave Ramsey's Investing Essentials. George Campbell is going to come along with me. Also, there's going to be a format where you guys can actually submit live questions while we go along.

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And I'll stop and interject and, you know, keep that moving. Keep a little bit of a conversation going, if you will, as part of it. It's not just going to be me yakking at a camera the whole time. So, looking forward to that. It's going to be good.

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Greg is in Boston. Hey Greg, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hey Dave, hey John.

3Speaker 3
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Nice to speak to you today. It's a real honor. Now I've been just a listener for a while and the total money bank over is a Bible in our household. So the backstory is my. my wife and I are in Baby Step 2..

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We have about $5,000 left on a credit card debt of $20,000.

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. We've spent the last few years putting that together and being more financially savvy. We've been paying about $1,000 a month for the last year, and we've been doing so just to chip away at it. Our household income is about $200,000 between my base and my commission and my wife's salary, and we have two paid-for cars and no other debt. Now.

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I had a good quarter last year. We received about $12,000, but we just had our second baby a month ago. And we have all these medical bills that are piling up, and my question is... All these medical bills? You don't have insurance?

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We do. We have a... So how much medical bills you got for a baby?

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So there's a long story to that. My wife didn't have insurance for that time. We had to deal with this whole appeal process, but the end result is that we got her back on my insurance, and our total deductible is $3,200 a month. I'm sorry, total is $3,200, and we have a $6,800 out-of-pocket maximum. Now we hit our deductible because of the labor and delivery, and the question is now, do I just pay off the debt that I've accumulated with my commission?

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I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You have... I thought.

1Speaker 1
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you got her back on the insurance and you met the deductible. What other bills?

3Speaker 3
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have you got?

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Well, we haven't paid our deductible yet, because the medical bills have piled up to the point of hitting our deductible. Oh, okay. We haven't.

1Speaker 1
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actually paid it off. So piled up is $3,200, and you make $200 a year? Correct. Okay, and you got $5,000 left on the credit card. So $8,000 makes you debt-free and you make $200 a year.

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How much is your commission check, dude?

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It was about $12,000 for the.

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. Write a check and pay it all off instantly. Why would you screw around with a small amount of?

3Speaker 3
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money when you make this kind of money? Well, I'm just a little concerned with, you know, how the market is doing, and I just want to... What's the market got to do?

1Speaker 1
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with you having $8,000 in debt and $12,000 in your hand?

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Right. Nothing? Nothing. Pay it. Cut up the stupid credit cards and stop screwing around with these people.

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Man, you make way too much money. It's not $320,000.. It's $3,200.. And you just told me it's piling up. See what it's doing to you?

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Yeah. Even your language says this is stressing you out, and I'm setting you.

2Speaker 2
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free and you're arguing with me. Help me out, man. What about this? are you scared of?

3Speaker 3
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It's more about, like, not having the cash on hand. We just had a few major issues go along with our house. We had a water pump that had to be replaced, and it was $3,000.. You know, my car just had to be serviced for an additional $1,500.. So there's just all these bills...

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Do you have an emergency fund? No, that's the problem. I wanted to use that money.

1Speaker 1
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Isn't your take-home pay $15,000 a month? Well, you know, pre-tax, yes. No, not pre-tax. Pre-tax would be $18,000 a month. Your take-home pay ought to be north of $10,000..

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You don't have any kind of a budget or spending plan that you and your wife are in agreed on, and so you're throwing money into chaos, and you're wondering why it's creating more chaos. You need to do your written game plan, and you will get peace from that. You will never get peace from stacking cash in chaos. Okay. And you need to write a check.

2Speaker 2
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and pay off this stuff today. What Dave just said, don't miss that. You are chasing peace by trying to get a dollar amount in an account. That is not where it will come from. The peace will come from...

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And we know that because teachers become millionaires over time. The peace is going to come from the plan, and then living out that plan. Yeah, laying out a detailed.

1Speaker 1
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thing and executing the detailed thing. And so there's an amazing thing that happens with money, that when you start telling it what to do, you will feel like you got a raise. I'm sitting here aghast that you're stressed and have this level of anxiety and drama around $8,000 when you make $200.. But what that tells me is, is you have absolutely no control over.

2Speaker 2
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your money. And that chaos is sucking up all of your money. You make $200,000, and you got a baby for $3,000.. This should be the most joyous time. You're rich.

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Yeah. But your words are indicating.

1Speaker 1
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your stress level. Because when you started saying medical bills are piling up, I thought we had a million dollar NICU bill, or something, the way you were talking about it. And it's $3,000, which is a lot if you make $30,000.. But if you make $200,000... So it's not the money, it's the drama.

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And the drama is, we don't have a plan. We're out of control. And so I can't see my way to taking care of the pump if it goes out, even though I'm bringing home $11,000 a month. And so yeah, you're going to be okay, but you're going to get on a game plan. Get the Every Dollar Budget app and get started with your spouse tonight.

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And write a check out of this and be debt-free tonight. And make this the first month of your life that you tell your money what to do, instead of wondering where it went. This is the reason people have too much month left. at the end of the money. No one sits down and says, I have a plan to be broke.

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No one plans to be deeply in debt and owe Sally Mae for 20 years. No one plans to have MasterCard be their master, or American Distress be their sister. No one plans for that. No one intentionally says, hey, let's go deeply.

2Speaker 2
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in credit card debt. That'll help us. Right. It just happens because there's no plan. There's no plan.

00:18:05.90 – 00:18:30.96

How often do you hear people, an undercurrent I heard in that call was, he had a plan for that quote, unquote bonus money he's going to get. And now it's got to go to paying off a credit card. And it feels like he lost, in addition to paying that debt, it feels like he lost that $12,000 because for the last quarter, he's been waiting to get that bonus so he could go buy a boat or a car or whatever. And it feels almost like a double whammy.

1Speaker 1
00:18:30.96 – 00:18:36.52

Yeah. It is. It is. It is because you've spent the money twice. You spend it in your head or.

2Speaker 2
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your heart. And most people spend it like three times. Well, if I have like a commission check, I think I'm going to get, and it ends up being half. It's still a stupid amount of money, but I feel like, oh, I got robbed. Right?

00:18:47.26 – 00:18:50.16

It's that, come on, man. Come on, man. Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:18:50.26 – 00:18:51.40

This is the Ramsey Show.

2Speaker 2
00:18:54.76 – 00:19:05.88

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1Speaker 1
00:20:11.10 – 00:20:29.74

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.. Today's question comes from Deborah in Ohio. My brother-in-law recently died in his sleep, and my sister had passed away in 2019..

00:20:30.28 – 00:20:56.44

When their children met with the insurance company, they found out my oldest son and I were named as beneficiaries. I think this may have been an oversight, because the children were minors when they got the policy. They still will get an IRA, a house, a car, etc. The kids are pressuring me to sign over their money. It would help to hear from someone not close to the situation.

00:20:57.22 – 00:20:58.52

What should I do?

00:21:03.38 – 00:21:28.14

Well, I think you need to make a decision of. was this an oversight. If it was left to you to take care of them when they were minors and they're no longer minors and he just hadn't been diligent with his estate plan and fixed his beneficiaries, then you are saying you accidentally did get money that was intended for them. If that's the case, I would give it to them.

00:21:30.10 – 00:22:08.12

On the other hand, that's what it sounds like, but if there's another scenario that's like, okay, he wanted to leave us some money and he used the policy to do that and he very clearly intended to do that. and they just feel like they're entitled to it just because it was their dad and mom, but dad and mom had a very clear intent to leave it to us, then they're just up a creek. You're not entitled to anything because you're kin. It's not their money. But if you truly do believe what you said, that you think it's an oversight, then on a moral basis, I'd give it to.

2Speaker 2
00:22:08.12 – 00:22:09.64

them. Or option three,

00:22:12.12 – 00:22:31.88

maybe these kids are hurt and obviously they've been through a lot the last few years, but if they're running to their aunt saying, give us our money, maybe there was some anticipated immaturity and we want you to do what's right with this money, that's best.

1Speaker 1
00:22:31.88 – 00:22:43.22

going to love these kids. Maybe not, but man. Yeah. I mean, again, I think you need to decide what your brother-in-law and your sister's intent was.

00:22:44.82 – 00:22:51.38

Legally, you can keep the money. It's not their money. Legally, it's your money. Period. No question.

00:22:51.86 – 00:22:57.06

Nobody's going to argue that. No court's even going to look at this. They'll dismiss it in 30 seconds. Okay. It's your money.

00:22:57.72 – 00:23:09.72

It's in your hands. If you think that that was a mistake, it was an envelope mailed to the wrong address and you do feel like it's rightfully theirs, then I would give it to them.

00:23:12.46 – 00:23:23.72

Just would. That's what I would do in that situation. you're asking. Again, though, if you, on John's point, option three is. the parents felt like the kids were too immature to handle this money.

00:23:23.78 – 00:23:37.90

And we don't even know how much it is. You didn't tell us. Life insurance money. So I'm guessing it's north of a hundred grand, but mom and the parents left it to you because they thought the kids are going to mess it up. They should have left it into a trust instead, but they didn't.

00:23:37.92 – 00:23:49.62

They left it to you and left you in an awkward position. Then you can handle it like you think they want it handled, which would be to dole it out slowly to the kids, like they might've done if it was left in a trust. That's a good point, John. Could do that.

00:23:51.64 – 00:23:59.28

Let's see here. I think this might have been an oversight because the children were minors when they took out the policy. That's what I'm going on.

2Speaker 2
00:23:59.50 – 00:24:16.48

Right. But I'm just thinking of my family members. And if I have a niece and a nephew, one of which is doing great, one of which is really struggling. And I know that my brother, sister, were they alive, would treat this differently. And they gave me the money.

00:24:17.54 – 00:24:22.34

I'm just thinking out loud here, but maybe I might say no for tuition. Yeah. But not for your.

1Speaker 1
00:24:25.84 – 00:24:33.80

I'm going to take care of you like they would have. There you go. And I'm going to love you. well. And you may not like that, but if you don't like it, I don't care.

00:24:34.22 – 00:24:54.66

It's not, you're not in control here. I'm in control. It's in my control to do whatever, but you can decide what was the, what I would go with is what your brother-in-law and your sister's intent was. If you think you, if you think you can anticipate that, was it to you, was it to take care of this and manage it for these immature adults? Or was it to, was it just, they screwed up and never made the beneficiary change.

00:24:54.66 – 00:24:55.42

That's simple.

00:24:56.96 – 00:25:34.86

And I don't know, I can't, you said in your email that you thought it was an oversight. And so that's what I'm going on. So, guys, this, this is why you go to momadatbarelegalforms.com and you get a will. And, by the way, when you die, the state that you're living in will do the probate, not the last state you lived in when you did your will at the other state. So when you move to a different state, when you go through a major life change, you need to update your will.

00:25:35.26 – 00:26:01.30

When the kids grow up, you need to update your life insurance policy and change the beneficiary. And you got to keep up with this stuff. And so, you know, this is what rich people do. They take care of the money, so the lawyers don't get it in some argument about something because they take care of business. And so I'm sad for the loss of your brother-in-law and your sister.

00:26:01.44 – 00:26:19.52

I'm sorry for that. But their job was to not have this mess. Your job is not have this mess, people. Your job is to get a will in the state that you live in, in the family situation that you're in. So as soon as your spouse passes away, you need a new will in the state that you live in.

00:26:20.20 – 00:26:46.18

As soon as you move or you get a divorce or the kids grow up, you know, we had one set of estate plan before, when our kids were minors. When they were no longer minors, we changed the estate plan and had a new will done. And so go to Mama Bear Legal Forms, go to your state planning attorney and get this stuff done. This is how families end up not speaking to each other. My aunt ripped me off.

00:26:46.24 – 00:26:59.08

She took all that money that Mama gave accidentally because Mama didn't fix it. And a bunch of freaking rednecks, you know. I can hear it now. I've grown up with them my whole life, you know. And shut up.

00:26:59.38 – 00:27:06.10

It's just white trash. Shut up. Don't be arguing about money. Love your family. Take care of your family.

00:27:06.52 – 00:27:31.04

And if you're going to cut somebody out of the will, tell them while you're alive, let them be pissed off at you while you're walking the earth. Don't leave it on somebody else to get pissed off at. So, you know, mad at my aunt, because she didn't, she executed the will exactly as it was supposed to be executed and was written. And she's the executor of the estate, which, by the way, means execute. That's what it means.

00:27:31.08 – 00:27:40.58

You have to do what the will says. And the will says you didn't get any money. So you're mad at your aunt. That's dumb. You can be mad at your mama is what you need to be mad at.

00:27:40.64 – 00:27:57.64

She's dead, but she's the one who screwed you out, not your aunt. Your aunt has to do exactly the way it is. So you folks, if you're going to do that stuff, do it while you're alive. We have a full-on estate planning meeting that goes two hours every year. Basically, if Dave dies this year, this is what it looks like.

00:27:57.64 – 00:28:23.38

It's all laid out for the whole company, leadership, publicity plan, traffic control, everything. It's all discussed. It's ridiculous, because I love my family so much that I don't want them, in a situation like that, to have to deal with crap that I was supposed to deal with when I was alive. That's called doing a will. Did I get fired up about that?

00:28:23.92 – 00:28:25.62

No, I'm kind of waiting to.

2Speaker 2
00:28:26.62 – 00:28:49.44

hear the whole thing. Just so people know, this is not academic. I had an opportunity to get a will done by one of the great wills and trust professors in the country, Jerry Beyer. He walked me through it, did my whole thing in Texas, and then I moved. One of the first things we did when we got to Tennessee was Mama Bear Wills.

00:28:49.76 – 00:28:50.48

We did a will there.

00:28:52.02 – 00:28:59.34

It's not going to do my whole estate plan, but I had to have something on paper that is valid in that state because I'm a responsible.

1Speaker 1
00:28:59.34 – 00:29:09.72

parent in that state. Estate planning is state law. Probate law is state law. It's not federal law. Louisiana law is way different.

00:29:09.88 – 00:29:25.16

It's French-based. California is way different. It's granola-based. I'm telling you, the laws in these states are dramatically different. You need to do a will in the state you live in right now.

00:29:25.56 – 00:29:26.74

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00:29:30.04 – 00:29:54.56

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00:30:32.80 – 00:30:43.20

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Joseph is in Greenville, South Carolina. Hey Joseph, what's up? Hey Dave, how are you doing today?

00:30:43.46 – 00:30:44.48

Better than I deserve.

3Speaker 3
00:30:44.48 – 00:30:45.22

How can I help?

00:30:47.08 – 00:31:14.16

Just a little background. Back in 2015,, I was in a terrific car accident where I sustained a severe traumatic brain injury. For four years after that, I underwent many surgeries, one of them being one of the world's most dangerous surgeries, the craniotomy, which required the removal of half my skull for several months. I had that done a total of three times. So life hit me hard out of nowhere.

00:31:15.08 – 00:31:35.88

So the question is, and today I'm doing, and I just want to say I'm not your typical severe TBI survivor. I'm very blessed today. I have a beautiful family, two daughters, beautiful wife, and a job and a house. So I'm very blessed today. But the question I have for you is, how do I embrace the present moment to its fullest potential, while also ensuring that I prepare for my future?

00:31:36.46 – 00:31:51.88

Being as someone that knows how finite life can be, how quickly it can end, I just don't want to put myself in a place where I'm so focused on saving for the future to one I might not have, if that makes sense. Yeah, but it sounds like you've.

2Speaker 2
00:31:51.88 – 00:31:56.80

made a mutually exclusive. What's the difference between living in the moment and preparing for?

3Speaker 3
00:31:56.80 – 00:31:57.72

your financial future?

00:32:00.76 – 00:32:13.74

I've been tackling debt, but I want to make sure that when I have vacation time, I go on the vacations, I want to make sure I enjoy the money I have now, but I also want to be saving it for the future, for my kids.

2Speaker 2
00:32:17.50 – 00:32:24.48

Okay, and you feel like you're missing out on something. if you don't do it in a spectacular fashion? Let me tell you the thoughts that are going through my mind.

00:32:27.20 – 00:33:06.04

We had the opportunity, for the first time ever in our family's history, to do an out of the country, all four of us and my wife and the two kids went, and it was a magical trip, and it was pretty cool, and we did that last year. If you were to ask my two kids what their favorite trips, what's your favorite vacations? They would name that one, and they both would point back to this time. we caught the giant catfish. What they don't know is the giant catfish was at a KOA, and we put a line out over water, I mean overnight, and we got up and fought that blast, and then we ate the catfish.

00:33:06.06 – 00:33:22.10

It was a whole thing that we did together. My point is, it didn't cost any money. And so it's this idea that, YOLO, it has to be shiny, and we have to get on jets and go across the world versus the most precious resource you got is time.

1Speaker 1
00:33:24.40 – 00:33:35.98

Yes, I do agree with that. Okay, so then there's no strain between your vacation and your debt reduction, or between your vacation and your savings.

3Speaker 3
00:33:37.68 – 00:34:00.62

Well, I understand the, you know, obviously you can have fulfilled moments without money. You can do these things without money and stuff, but I also understand, you know, if it's hard now, it's easy later. So I want to make sure, I, you know, with my job, get as much overtime as I can, be able to save as much money as I can, but at the same time, I want to make sure I'm not working so much and I'm not seeing the moments just pass by.

00:34:02.16 – 00:34:03.92

Yeah, you got to have a plan.

1Speaker 1
00:34:06.48 – 00:34:26.14

So here's the thing. You're projecting these concepts as if they never ebb and flow, as if they're a straight line. Like, I'm going to work overtime for the next 25 years and I'm never going to see my children. That's not how it works. Not how life works, number one, but it's also not what we suggest.

00:34:27.44 – 00:34:32.10

So, but would I work overtime, even in your situation, where you've had this tremendous?

00:34:35.46 – 00:34:51.08

drama that you've been through, this legitimate, that makes you value every precious moment? And I get that. That's a clear perspective, right? And so what does that do? And it's like going to one of my good friends' funeral the other day.

00:34:51.20 – 00:35:08.44

It's like one of the pastors said, it's a tuning fork. Funerals and births are a tuning fork that causes us to reset our lives and be very careful with what we're doing and thoughtful about what we're doing, instead of just wasting away our lives. And that's what this event did for you. And that's what you're bringing up. And that's very wise.

00:35:09.16 – 00:35:34.02

That's a positive result from the horrible thing you went through. So I'm aligned with you on all of that. But, you know, when we say live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else, it's a sprint so that you can get in the rhythm of a marathon. And the sprint is the only thing that's in question. And so, you know, you got 18 months to get out of debt and you're going to work like a crazy man overtime, and you're going to pile up some savings, get your emergency fund in place.

00:35:34.26 – 00:35:36.48

But I don't want you doing that for 18 years.

00:35:38.26 – 00:35:41.70

Can I flip it around, Joseph? Few people.

2Speaker 2
00:35:41.70 – 00:35:47.40

in the world understand, like you do, that you can be taken away from your family in a blink of an eye.

00:35:49.58 – 00:36:14.22

And you and I have both accepted a responsibility as providers for our family, that we're going to put them in the best possible situation, not if, but when we go. Dave has too. And so, you know, if I'm in debt, if I'm behind, I'm going to work with all I can to get caught up so that I leave my family in the best possible position too. Yeah. So what I would do, what I would do, is say,

1Speaker 1
00:36:14.22 – 00:36:18.72

let's map this out. Okay. How much debt have you got as an example? Let's use that as an example.

3Speaker 3
00:36:19.08 – 00:36:31.76

Okay. So I just recently finished paying off my wife, our student loans. And so right now, I'm about $1,000 in credit card and I have to finish paying off my house and car.

1Speaker 1
00:36:32.06 – 00:36:33.28

Okay. How much are you on the car?

00:36:34.96 – 00:36:36.04

About 10,000.

00:36:36.26 – 00:36:41.54

. Okay. So you have $11,000 to be debt free, other than the house. That's what we call baby step two.

3Speaker 3
00:36:41.54 – 00:36:44.18

So, and what do you make a year?

00:36:45.98 – 00:36:53.76

About 70 to 80,000 a year, depending on if I'm wanting to put in the grind for overtime. Yeah. Okay. All right. So I'd put in the grind.

1Speaker 1
00:36:53.76 – 00:37:13.80

for overtime until I cleared the car and the credit card and cut the credit card up, be on a budget. And then let's get in steady mode and say, all right, part of our budget is enjoyment. Part of our budget is 15% of our income going into retirement. Part of our budget is we're going to throw a little extra at the house. Part of our budget is travel.

00:37:15.30 – 00:37:29.54

Part of our budget is life. And you just start segmenting that out and you can do all that. But I would go on a short sprint here and knock that car out and that credit card. That's an example. And then, here's the thing.

00:37:29.68 – 00:38:00.28

If you lay it all out, you can save for long-term, you can save for college and save for Christmas and save for a trip, all in the same budget. There's, there's room in your budget to do that with what you just described, but you're gonna have to be very intentional about it and very careful. And you might look up and go, oh, we need to buy a mom, a different car. So I'm going to go work overtime for a month and save up that little bit extra and knock that car out. You can do that.

00:38:00.30 – 00:38:21.26

You can, but it's a come and go thing. It's, I never have in my life personally or subscribe, prescribed for someone else, the idea that you work 80 hours a week your whole life. But I've worked a lot of 80 hour weeks in my life. And I'm not a bit ashamed of that. My children are not in counseling because of that.

00:38:21.56 – 00:38:32.62

I didn't miss out on their childhood because of that. None of that crap. Okay. It's a bunch of whining. And so, but I have worked some 80 hour weeks.

00:38:32.90 – 00:38:52.62

I also have done went periods of time where I don't do anything. And so I just got back off the longest vacation of my life. I've never done that before. And so I'm not opposed to that, but you know, the point is this stuff is ebb and flow. The problem people have, John, not Joseph, but other people on this whole subject.

00:38:52.78 – 00:39:10.22

And we'll just finish that up is that they, that they're never where they are. That's exactly right. They're at work and they got one. they're halfway at work, not paying attention. And if they're operating powerful machinery, they're a danger, because they're thinking about, they ought to be at home.

00:39:10.22 – 00:39:30.24

And then, when they're at home, they're thinking about, they ought to be at work. And then, when they're on vacation, they're thinking about, they ought to be at home at work instead of like, Hey, why don't you be where you is? Turn your stupid phone off, throw it in a basket or the lake, one of the two and be where you is. And then you start to get.

2Speaker 2
00:39:30.24 – 00:39:40.62

this life balance. that's real, or don't work an 80 hour a week indefinitely because you think chasing something's going to solve you or heal you or make you some sort of superhero work 80.

1Speaker 1
00:39:40.62 – 00:39:45.56

hour weeks when you got to get a job done. Yeah. And then, when you get it done, stop, stop. That's right. Yeah.

00:39:45.72 – 00:39:50.28

Move on to the next thing. It's called being an adult. Yeah. Back it off. But it's an ebb and flow.

00:39:50.50 – 00:40:14.72

The tide comes in, the tide goes out. This is not a still lake where the levels never change. This is the Ramsey show. live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual, amazing relationships.

00:40:14.96 – 00:40:23.70

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. We're glad you're with us. Dr. John is a number one bestselling, author and host of the Dr.

00:40:23.80 – 00:40:35.00

John Deloney show, where they talk about relationships and all kinds of mental health issues. Yeah. A lot of fun. Very entertaining. It's on the Ramsey networks and you can watch it on YouTube as well as pick it up.

00:40:35.00 – 00:40:46.06

where any podcast is sold. Open phones at 888-825-5225.. And you people know the podcasts are not sold. All right, let's go to Heather in Indianapolis. Hi, Heather.

00:40:46.18 – 00:40:46.38

Welcome.

3Speaker 3
00:40:46.38 – 00:40:50.84

to the Ramsey show. Hi, Dave and John. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up?

00:40:51.74 – 00:41:17.44

My husband and I are debt free, except our house. And I'm wondering how much we should have in our emergency fund. I'm a stay at home mom and my husband gets paid about half of his annual income in one bonus check. So we save a large chunk of that to be put towards the next year's big expenses, like the property taxes, home and auto insurance and medical, because his monthly take home doesn't leave a lot of room for those. So would you still recommend having an additional six months of?

1Speaker 1
00:41:17.44 – 00:41:26.42

expenses saved up on top of that? Yes. Or. OK. Now, the emergency fund is a vague fund for unexpected events.

00:41:27.40 – 00:41:36.50

What you're doing is you're just planning your cash flow. I've got to pay property taxes. There should not be an emergency. You know, it's coming. Christmas should not be an emergency.

00:41:36.50 – 00:41:47.68

It's always in December. They don't move it, you know. And so you plan for those things. Emergencies are not things you plan for. They're called emergencies and they're unexpected events.

00:41:48.00 – 00:41:58.22

The tires going out on your car is not an unexpected event. We can predict. the tires are going to go out on your car. You need a fund to be able to put tires on your car. You need a fund to pay your taxes.

00:41:58.44 – 00:42:15.12

In your case, you're having to manage that very carefully and have been very wise to do that because of the wild cash flow that you guys face. It's almost like you're farmers or something. You know, you get two crops a year and you got to live on those crops the other time. Right. But I mean, that's how a farmer does it.

00:42:15.22 – 00:42:24.74

Exactly. They get two or three times a year. They get a big check and they got to pay bills for the rest of the year with those checks. And so you got to. you got to budget it all the way out.

00:42:24.80 – 00:42:28.58

That's all you're doing. You're budgeting that out. That's different than emergency fund. You see what I'm saying?

3Speaker 3
00:42:29.26 – 00:42:34.72

Yeah. You're doing a good job, by the way. Is there a? is there a recommended place to put that? so far?

00:42:34.86 – 00:42:43.80

We do the cash envelope system. So I just take everything out, put in envelopes and save. And I mean, it could take out about fifteen thousand each year from that check. So

1Speaker 1
00:42:43.80 – 00:42:45.72

is there a better place? I could put that?

00:42:47.32 – 00:43:06.22

Yeah, if you, if you use the every dollar app, you can use that. We have a system in there we call sinking funds, which are basically little mini savings accounts for different subjects. So you'd have a sinking fund for taxes, a sinking fund for this sinking fund for that. Then you could set it over and it's just a separate savings account. And you would.

00:43:06.36 – 00:43:21.40

But the reason you're doing that is you're breaking it out when you get it. You're allocating a little envelope for taxes, but the taxes aren't due for nine months or whatever. Right. And you got a little envelope for Christmas, but it's going to be, you know, another six months before Christmas or whatever. the number is.

00:43:21.40 – 00:43:27.72

Right. And so you're doing the envelopes just to keep it categorized. Am I correct? Yeah. Yeah.

00:43:28.00 – 00:43:46.80

So, yeah, you would. you could do that in every dollar, really easy, and then just put the fifteen thousand in a savings account. Now, I would keep it separate from your checking, because I don't want to accidentally spend it. That's why it's what you're doing. And the other thing is, I would keep it separate from your emergency fund, because this is not really your emergency fund.

00:43:46.86 – 00:43:51.78

This is just we're we have. we're setting aside the money to do something we need to do in September.

3Speaker 3
00:43:52.60 – 00:44:01.20

That's all it is. Your monthly take home is only about four thousand. So it doesn't leave a lot of room for a family of five. So we have to save it ahead of time and make sure we got those bills.

1Speaker 1
00:44:01.20 – 00:44:06.96

covered. Very wise. Very wise. You're doing a great job of thinking this through your. you've done a.

00:44:06.96 – 00:44:15.74

you know, you've been the whole process. It's not severely broken, but you called and asked for some help. And so all I'm doing is tuning you up a little bit. But you're really playing.

3Speaker 3
00:44:15.74 – 00:44:21.84

the right song. OK, that makes sense. Yes, it does. Thank you so much for your help. Way to go.

2Speaker 2
00:44:22.50 – 00:44:41.42

Good stuff, John. They tell you. they tell you that one of the keys to having a good life is marrying well. And one of the keys to having a very challenging, hard life is not marrying well and then not putting the effort in. And whoever that guy, that guy married well, is what I'll say.

1Speaker 1
00:44:41.42 – 00:44:49.10

Yeah, yeah, he did. She's, she's a star. She's gold star. So, yeah, that you're exactly right. And, you know, you and I've been talking about this all fair a little bit.

00:44:49.14 – 00:45:16.76

There's because we've got the marriage and money event coming up that you and Rachel do. And the tickets are on sale now, just to segue into that. But that has caused the whole subject of marriage to come up more and more and more. And all of the data that we've seen in the financial world for years has validated that that. Two spouses on the same page have a higher probability of building wealth than a single.

00:45:17.94 – 00:45:34.08

They also. Yeah. Or than a shacked up or than a whatever. I mean, you just call it. I mean, but but this committed marriage relationship, the data is in.

00:45:34.20 – 00:45:48.20

It's not. it's not a moral construct. It is a moral construct. But in addition to that, the data is in. And there's a socioeconomic proof set in the research that is showing very, very clearly.

00:45:48.48 – 00:46:02.16

And we found it again in the, in the millionaire research. We didn't find hardly any millionaires that did it in spite of their crazy spouse. Right. They did it with a supportive spouse, two horses pulling.

2Speaker 2
00:46:02.16 – 00:46:09.08

a plow together. Which which I've heard you teach. that lesson accelerates the, the, the, the.

1Speaker 1
00:46:09.08 – 00:46:16.14

pull force. Yeah, exactly. I mean, because or amplifies the pull for the synergy. It's, it's very, very real. Yeah.

00:46:16.50 – 00:46:40.06

And you really, and we see it all the time. And, you know, some years ago, when I first started the show, 30 years ago, they the the sociologists would call it the marriage advantage. And there was a whole book of research that was old back then. But we've seen another round of the same type of research starting to come in because there seems to be this discussion.

2Speaker 2
00:46:40.06 – 00:46:53.32

that marriage is no longer needed. Well, I think the the the bill of goods that we've been sold is more important than having a good marriage. is. you need to make a bunch of money. And the best way to do that is do it by yourself.

00:46:53.74 – 00:47:13.92

And you don't even need to be married to give a child the best situation. Right. And I think the sociologists, I think everybody, the anthropologist, everybody circling back around, going, oh, maybe this having a rooted structure here that everybody can anchor into and say, come hell or high water, we're going to work hard. We're going to fight. We're going to call.

00:47:13.98 – 00:47:19.22

We're going to make this thing magic. We're going to make this thing work, has all sorts of.

1Speaker 1
00:47:19.22 – 00:47:30.62

benefits from financial to kids, to health. Yeah. Just occurred to me. I watched a preview of a Irwin Brothers did it. They did the Jesus Revolution.

00:47:31.72 – 00:47:44.70

And they live here in the community and friend their friends. And so Andy sent me a link and Sharon and I watched Unsung, and it's about small bone family, which is Rebecca St. James. Yeah. And it's exactly this.

00:47:44.76 – 00:48:00.36

The mom is the unsung hero in the movie. And that's the story arc is really powerful on this. And the family has gone. I mean, king and country is the boys. I mean, the family is going to be unbelievably successful, but it came out of this really hard time.

00:48:00.60 – 00:48:12.80

And then the mom and dad locking together and the mom doing these things. And it's, it's powerful on this exact point. So you guys, if you want to see an illustration of that, when that movie comes out, go see it, it's called Unsung. I'll give it a big plug. It's really good.

00:48:13.46 – 00:48:18.06

Made me cry, but I cried Applebee's commercials too. So there you go. This is the Ramsey show.

00:48:23.68 – 00:48:34.26

Dr. John Deloney Ramsey, personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at triple, eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. Michelle's in Long Island, New York. Hi, Michelle.

00:48:34.26 – 00:48:38.46

How are you? Hi, I'm good. Thank you. Sure. What's up?

3Speaker 3
00:48:39.72 – 00:48:55.30

So my question is, I have three large outstanding debts and I'm trying to figure out which one to tackle first. Okay. I have my car payment. That's 16,000, student loan. That's 30,000..

00:48:55.34 – 00:48:58.16

And another one that's 45,000.

00:48:58.32 – 00:49:00.28

. Okay. We address them smallest to largest.

1Speaker 1
00:49:01.78 – 00:49:14.92

Okay. So everything you've got no life, no eating out, no vacations, work all the time and throw it all at the car until the car's gone. And then the 30,000 until it's gone. And then the 40,000 until.

3Speaker 3
00:49:14.92 – 00:49:25.44

it's gone. Okay. What do you make a year? My thought was I make 120,000 and my husband make 140,000.. Oh God.

00:49:25.56 – 00:49:37.00

So you're gonna do this fast. I'm trying. You know, I started your plan when, in January, we paid off 30,000 of credit cards. so far. In two months.

00:49:37.22 – 00:49:42.26

We're getting there. In two months we used our bonuses too. Okay. Very good. So you're on it.

00:49:42.28 – 00:49:47.60

You're in attack mode. Way to go, kiddo. You're doing it. You're doing it. Don't slow down.

00:49:48.08 – 00:49:49.58

Don't slow down. Get it, get it,

2Speaker 2
00:49:49.64 – 00:50:00.08

get it. No, you make enough money. And that tells me that y'all are real smart. And in about two months, y'all are going to start trying to overthink this. Don't.

00:50:00.58 – 00:50:01.14

Just keep going. No,

1Speaker 1
00:50:01.22 – 00:50:04.02

she already did. That's why you called. You knew better. You already knew the answer to the.

3Speaker 3
00:50:04.02 – 00:50:09.86

question you asked. Just go. I do, but he wants to pay the student debt first because he figures.

1Speaker 1
00:50:10.48 – 00:50:20.98

he's the broke guy that makes a lot of money. So his opinion is really not relative. He is a rich, broke guy. He makes a lot of money. He has no money.

00:50:22.08 – 00:50:32.20

Yeah. Yeah. Let's, let's change that by doing something that's proven. It really doesn't matter as long as we end up out of debt. But the difference is, is that people will actually do the stuff that we teach.

00:50:32.20 – 00:50:39.78

where his theory, people bail out. Yeah. But the bottom line is, you need about 80,000.

3Speaker 3
00:50:39.78 – 00:50:45.40

bucks and you're done, right? Well, I need 80,000 actually. And then another a hundred.

1Speaker 1
00:50:45.40 – 00:50:57.40

thousand for his student debt. Okay. Well, we're married, so we have $180,000.. And your household income total is two, is about a quarter million, right? Yeah.

00:50:57.64 – 00:51:05.76

About two 50, right? Uh-huh. Okay. And so you need 180 and you make two 50.. So, not counting taxes.

00:51:05.96 – 00:51:18.22

If you lived on 71 year, you'd be debt-free in a year. So you're not going to quite do it in a year, but you ought to do it in 18 months to two years. 18 months to two years. Okay. So that's like, that's like $15,000 a month, which is actually the track you're on.

3Speaker 3
00:51:20.08 – 00:51:30.44

Yup. Because our goal is to move. once we paid off all of our student debt. Once you're debt-free. Once we're debt-free, then we want to move to another area.

1Speaker 1
00:51:30.44 – 00:51:35.90

That counts the car too, not just the student loans. Yeah. Okay. You're doing it.

2Speaker 2
00:51:35.90 – 00:51:37.88

Hey, and by the way, Michelle, it's going to be awful.

00:51:39.48 – 00:51:46.64

Terrible. It's going to be embarrassing. Your husband's going to be like, I make too much money to, I know, but y'all dug a big hole. You.

1Speaker 1
00:51:46.64 – 00:51:56.92

got to get out of the hole. Yeah. You have a dadgum mess. And if you do not address it with a level of intensity, you will never address it. So the start that you've got is the right start.

00:51:57.36 – 00:52:08.52

You came out of the gate hot. Now just put the pedal to the metal and push it through and finish it. And don't screw around with this other stuff, but you get that car gone. You'll never car payment again. The rest of your life.

00:52:08.72 – 00:52:17.12

This is the last time you're done. You pay it off. Then you knock out and you got a 30 and a 40 and a hundred. And then we get after them, just in that order. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:52:17.46 – 00:52:23.60

And we just keep firing away. And that hundred is going to be the hardest one. Not cause it's the biggest, but because it's the biggest. Hey, this occurred to.

2Speaker 2
00:52:23.60 – 00:52:42.48

me a few months ago, Dave, I was preparing for a talk, and it was just like a light bulb went off for me. My dad was a policeman. And then, about halfway through my childhood, became a minister, and finances were a big stress for us. I've talked about that. But my response to that was to go make a bunch of money, go get some degrees and go get some fancy jobs.

00:52:43.26 – 00:53:01.48

And without a plan, what that allowed me to do was to dig a hole so deeper than my dad could have ever dug, because the banks wouldn't have given him that much money. And so, without a plan, you can end up making a quarter million dollars and you find yourself $180,000 in debt. So bad off. That's after paying off 30.. They were 210 in debt.

00:53:01.66 – 00:53:11.80

Right. Whereas if you made 85, it wouldn't even occur to you to take out that much money. Right. But since we mix, I know, I know on this show, we get people calling. I mean, student loans, are, you know, can wipe you out.

00:53:12.38 – 00:53:19.30

But man, it's. if you don't have a plan, doesn't matter how much money you make, you can just get more and more and more out of control and dig yourself.

1Speaker 1
00:53:19.30 – 00:53:32.50

such a massive hole. Yeah, that's exactly right. And you add to that, the student loans are loaned to an 18 year old. Right. You know, and so you loan an 18 year old $100,000 with no collateral and no business plan.

00:53:32.92 – 00:53:42.74

Yeah. Business plan is what? I'm going to play beer pong. That's my business plan. And so, yeah, this is a genius system and we wonder why it didn't work.

2Speaker 2
00:53:42.74 – 00:53:53.56

I saw my still one of my top five of all time favorite memes was, or maybe it was, a comedian said, I was really, really pissed off when I was 17.

00:53:54.38 – 00:54:03.60

. And the guy at the tattoo parlor wouldn't let me get my Limp Bizkit tattoo on my leg. And four months later, they gave me $150,000 to go to.

1Speaker 1
00:54:03.60 – 00:54:11.32

college. I was like, come on, what are we doing? Yeah, this is your Congress on drugs.

00:54:12.90 – 00:54:18.62

Lois is in Orlando. Hi Lois, how are you? Well, not too bad for an old lady.

3Speaker 3
00:54:21.36 – 00:54:28.84

Here's my question. My husband and I are in our eighties. We have three rental properties.

00:54:30.66 – 00:54:36.60

and we're debating, would we be better just to sell them while we're alive or leave them?

1Speaker 1
00:54:36.60 – 00:54:40.34

to our two children to inherit?

00:54:42.32 – 00:54:45.88

Mathematically, it would be better to leave them to inherit.

00:54:48.50 – 00:54:53.20

because let's take one of the rental properties. What's it worth today? Just give me an example.

3Speaker 3
00:54:53.20 – 00:54:58.16

One of them. Oh, like $175,000.. And you paid what for that?

1Speaker 1
00:55:01.10 – 00:55:02.22

$43,000.

00:55:02.34 – 00:55:11.30

. Yeah. And you've depreciated it down. So your basis is probably close to zero. So if you sell it today, you're going to pay capital gains tax on $175,000..

00:55:11.74 – 00:55:25.48

Understand? Right. If they inherit it, their basis is the value at the time of your death. So if they inherit it, their basis is $175,000. if it happened today.

00:55:25.82 – 00:55:33.34

Okay. And they could sell it for $175,000 and have zero tax on it. So if you sell it, you get taxed on the whole stinking thing.

3Speaker 3
00:55:33.44 – 00:55:35.74

If they sell it after your death, they get zero tax.

00:55:37.62 – 00:55:41.32

Okay. That sounds like a good plan.

1Speaker 1
00:55:43.96 – 00:55:49.12

Now, that's the math answer. Then the other answer is, are they competent to pull this off?

3Speaker 3
00:55:50.28 – 00:55:56.54

Yes. They are. They're two responsible adults. Good. Very good.

00:55:56.68 – 00:56:02.76

Well, you did good then, didn't you? Way to go, Lois. What they want to, that's the thing.

1Speaker 1
00:56:02.98 – 00:56:14.48

Yeah. Well, what I would tell them is say, listen, I'm going to leave it to you. You can keep it or you can sell it. But if you sell it within six months of my death, you will have no taxes on the money. Okay.

00:56:14.70 – 00:56:34.92

So that's six months. Yeah. The IRS assumes that the value at time of death is the same inside of six months of death. But if they sell it six years later, they'll have to go back and figure out what the value was at the time of death, and they will pay gains on the difference in that value and six years of growth.

2Speaker 2
00:56:36.34 – 00:56:52.62

Okay. Lois, one thing that Dave said is really important. If you don't care, tell your kids, we don't care if you keep these houses or if you sell them. Because one of your kids may feel this innate sense of obligation. These are mom and dad's houses.

00:56:52.82 – 00:57:01.30

Somehow, mom and dad's spirit is in these houses. We got to keep them. And if you say, I don't care what you do with those houses, then let them know that upfront. That'd be such a gift to them.

3Speaker 3
00:57:03.70 – 00:57:07.70

Okay. Okay. That's real good advice. Very cool. Good.

00:57:07.76 – 00:57:08.78

And make sure you have a will,

1Speaker 1
00:57:08.90 – 00:57:35.46

of course, that's up to date and accurate for the state of Florida, which is where you live. The great news is there's no probate tax either in Florida. So there's no taxes in the state of Florida on an estate, which is why a lot of people move there in their retirement years. And there's no income tax in Florida, which is why the economy is booming. Note to you, policymakers in these other states who thought you were going to tax the rich, and they left and went to Florida.

00:57:35.84 – 00:57:38.86

This is the Ramsey Show. Dr.

00:57:43.98 – 00:58:00.70

John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host. We invite you to stop by our studios anytime here in Franklin, Tennessee, just south of Nashville, right on the interstate. Very easy to find. The cookies are homemade and they're free. The coffee is awesome and it's free.

00:58:01.32 – 00:58:21.18

And usually 50 to a couple of hundred folks are sitting around watching us on the glass, do the show. right now. There's a handful of folk out here and that's free. It's worth what you pay for it. But we do the show from one to four central time, Monday through Friday, every week, every single week.

00:58:21.18 – 00:58:42.28

And two of us are sitting here. Two of the Ramsey personalities are sitting here. I'm usually here Monday through Thursday, unless I'm doing something else, which would be like when I'm out doing speaking or doing an event somewhere. Also, in that same lobby, is where the Debt Free Scream stage is. On that stage, Ryan and Madison are here.

00:58:42.38 – 00:58:46.34

Welcome, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Good to have you guys. Where do you live?

00:58:47.10 – 00:58:58.36

We live in the middle of nowhere in Utah. In the middle of nowhere, Utah. That's an actual town. All right. And so welcome to Nashville, the Nashville area.

00:58:58.48 – 00:59:05.36

How much debt have you paid? We paid off $160,000.. Wow. How long did that take? It took us 39 months.

00:59:05.50 – 00:59:15.60

Good for you. And your range of income during that time? Started off making around $80,000 and ended up making around $140,000.. Excellent. Way to go, you guys.

00:59:15.78 – 00:59:17.12

What kind of debt was the $160,000?

00:59:17.94 – 00:59:30.48

? So $60,000 was consumer debt, $41,000 in auto loans, $15,000 in credit card debt, and about $4,000 in student loans. And then $100,000 was our mortgage. You paid off your house. Yeah.

00:59:30.96 – 00:59:39.30

Looking at weird people. How old are you weird people? I just turned 30.. And I just turned 26.. And you have a paid-for house.

00:59:39.42 – 00:59:47.66

That's so strange. What's the house worth? It's worth about $225,000.. How does that feel? You guys are amazing.

00:59:47.76 – 00:59:55.08

You're heroes. You're so weird. I mean, none of your friends have done it. No. You're just strange.

00:59:55.46 – 01:00:03.14

I mean, it's a wonderful, weird, but way to go, y'all. Thank you. Wow. One in the world. What kind of hold did you 39 months ago?

01:00:03.58 – 01:00:11.22

When did you get married? We got married on September 11th in 2020.. Okay. So you immediately started this then, basically. Oh, yeah.

01:00:11.36 – 01:00:16.80

Almost. Well, yeah. Not long after. So I actually- Got a COVID wedding. Yep.

01:00:16.92 – 01:00:28.34

Pretty much. Yep. Kind of a long story. But we got married about 60 days or so after we met. There were circumstances that kind of sped up the process.

01:00:28.94 – 01:00:42.00

She was pregnant. And I realized that I love this woman, and I was ready to marry her. And then I needed to step up right away. And I had already started my debt-free journey. Good for you.

01:00:42.30 – 01:01:04.28

And I was working three jobs at the time, trying to save up and stash cash for my baby. And I had paid off about 10 grand of my own debt and saved an additional 10 grand. So I came to the marriage, debt-free. I've seen your face on my bookshelf for the past 15 years of my life. My dad started his debt-free journey when your book first came out.

01:01:04.62 – 01:01:13.60

So, yeah. So you're a financial peace baby. Yep. And then you guys get married, or you're getting married. You're planning to start this life with this baby on the way, the whole thing.

01:01:13.84 – 01:01:22.06

And you go, okay, game on. We're doing this exactly to the T. Is that how it happened? I mean, what happened? Yeah, kind of.

01:01:22.86 – 01:01:31.58

He came to me and said, do you know Dave Ramsey? And I was like, oh, man. God, there's another one. First dad, now him. So he sounded just like my dad.

01:01:32.04 – 01:01:47.68

And from then on, it was just, he had told me that he had just started his journey. And so I said, I'll support you and do whatever you need me to do. And we kind of just kicked it off from there. And about halfway through the journey, he said, why don't we pay off the house? And I was like, okay, we can do that.

01:01:47.82 – 01:01:54.06

So we did, we started paying it down and finished it faster than we thought, right? Yeah, faster than expected.

2Speaker 2
01:01:54.88 – 01:01:58.14

You guys almost doubled your income. What happened? Somebody get a job?

1Speaker 1
01:01:58.64 – 01:02:11.10

He worked his tail off. So yeah, I moved into a new position, working for the company that I do now as a control room operator of a coal-fired power plant. Okay. Wow.

2Speaker 2
01:02:11.48 – 01:02:19.98

Hey, do you mind if I get a little bit sideways here for a second? I was just reading before we came on air. I was sitting at my desk reading some nerd stuff.

1Speaker 1
01:02:21.14 – 01:02:21.32

No.

2Speaker 2
01:02:21.54 – 01:02:37.74

And I know, right? And the number of men who walk away from the very situation you found yourself in, it was a staggering number. And that you're not a statistic. You turned around and walked straight in and said, I've got a responsibility. I love this woman.

01:02:37.80 – 01:02:52.74

I'm gonna take care of this baby. And not only am I going to do that just in name and certificate, but you, freaking, went to work. And that's what changing legacy looks like, my brother. So it's an honor to get to talk to you and see your face and shake your hand here in a minute. That's amazing.

01:02:52.80 – 01:03:00.72

I just happened to be reading that and I couldn't believe it. It was such a, it was an embarrassment for men. And you're the opposite of that. Good on you.

1Speaker 1
01:03:00.92 – 01:03:01.36

Thank you.

2Speaker 2
01:03:01.38 – 01:03:02.06

Good on you, man.

1Speaker 1
01:03:02.24 – 01:03:08.40

Thank you. Well done. Well done. Very well done. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?

01:03:09.40 – 01:03:19.62

I think our biggest thing was just making sure that we were on the same page and being able to say no. Self-control is a huge thing when it comes to getting out of debt. What was the hardest thing? you said no to?

01:03:21.96 – 01:03:23.14

Probably fast food.

01:03:25.46 – 01:03:26.62

That's my love language.

2Speaker 2
01:03:27.66 – 01:03:32.30

Wow. This is a pretty low bar. I was looking at him. I thought he was going to say protein.

1Speaker 1
01:03:32.30 – 01:03:37.12

powder. I was going to say pork. Oh no, that was part of the budget. We got to keep these going.

2Speaker 2
01:03:43.82 – 01:03:53.16

I love it. What's the biggest disagreement you had as a newlywed couple trying to get out of debt, managing pregnancy and a little baby?

1Speaker 1
01:03:55.16 – 01:04:11.54

Oh man, I don't even know. That's hard to say. First year marriage is rough for everybody, right? And I mean, not even to mention that we did the first year of marriage, the first baby, the honeymoon phase, all in one shot, plus COVID. So I don't know.

01:04:11.82 – 01:04:12.46

I can't think of a biggest disagreement.

2Speaker 2
01:04:12.46 – 01:04:15.52

Yeah, that's not even a fair question. Y'all survived that, so congratulations.

1Speaker 1
01:04:16.44 – 01:04:16.96

No, not really.

2Speaker 2
01:04:17.20 – 01:04:18.70

I'm still speechless. At 26,.

01:04:20.42 – 01:04:25.38

I borrowed $300 from my little brother for a down payment to a house, and y'all are debt free.

01:04:27.36 – 01:04:28.80

Good for you, man.

1Speaker 1
01:04:28.90 – 01:04:33.04

Thank you. Thank you. Way to go. Way to go. You're absolute heroes.

01:04:33.28 – 01:04:39.84

Well done. So proud of you. Who was cheering you on? Dad had to be. Yeah, my dad was definitely also the voice of reason too.

01:04:40.20 – 01:04:47.92

If we called him and had a question of like, hey, should we do this? He's like, yeah. Yeah, you should. Or no, no, you shouldn't. And it was awesome.

01:04:48.82 – 01:04:55.82

His parents were really cheering us on, and we had friends who were like, how did you do that? And we'd show them, and they're like, I don't want to read a book.

2Speaker 2
01:04:58.58 – 01:05:00.10

He's on TikTok too, y'all.

1Speaker 1
01:05:01.84 – 01:05:02.68

Oh, God.

01:05:07.10 – 01:05:19.08

We had a lot of awesome supporters. That's good. That's good. Way to go, you guys. Hey, we've got the one-year subscriptions to every dollar, a couple of them, one for you guys and one for you to give away.

01:05:19.44 – 01:05:31.24

So you'll be able to make sure you keep your budget going, because you're heading towards millionaire, for sure. And we want you to hit that Baby Steps millionaire level pretty quick. here. You're on your way real, real fast. And you brought the kiddos.

01:05:31.36 – 01:05:38.26

Now there's two? There are two, yes. All right. What are the names and ages? So Grayson, he is three.

01:05:38.66 – 01:05:48.32

And Colton, he will be two in a couple of weeks. Way to go. Some good looking guys there to go in the mix. Excellent stuff. Very well done.

01:05:48.38 – 01:05:56.32

I'm proud of you guys. Way to go. Way to go. Man, so whack. Not even 30 years old, paid for houses, paid for everything.

2Speaker 2
01:05:56.68 – 01:05:59.70

Dave, you know me. I'm speechless, and that's a rare thing.

1Speaker 1
01:06:00.10 – 01:06:09.92

This is really good. Really good people. These people are amazing. All right. It's Ryan and Madison, Grayson and Colton from Utah.

01:06:10.46 – 01:06:19.32

$160,000 paid off, house and everything, and they're not even 30.

01:06:20.22 – 01:06:27.70

. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free!

?Unknown Speaker
01:06:30.10 – 01:06:30.60

Yay!

1Speaker 1
01:06:31.94 – 01:06:32.50

Wow!

01:06:34.56 – 01:06:35.90

Absolutely amazing.

01:06:37.74 – 01:06:52.10

So I was doing an interview with NPR this morning, and the lady was asking me the question 63 different times, different ways, how it is possible for young people in our world today, with real estate prices being what they are, to survive.

01:06:54.46 – 01:06:57.74

I think we just explained it. This is the Ramsey Show.

01:07:00.42 – 01:07:20.96

Hey guys, are you ready for the secret to help you reach those money goals that you've been dreaming about? It's simple. You got to get on a budget. With our budgeting app, EveryDollar, you'll get intentional with your money and build the habits that will make those dreams a reality. And we'll be with you every step of the way, from your first budget to that retirement home on the beach.

01:07:21.22 – 01:07:30.14

Download EveryDollar for free on the App Store or Google Play. Remember, today, download EveryDollar for free on the App Store or Google Play today.

01:07:33.14 – 01:07:49.66

Thank you for joining us, America. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, where you can hear all about boundaries and relationships and mental health issues. like you never have any other way.

01:07:49.70 – 01:07:56.96

I can tell you that. It's a blast, and you learn a lot. And I do. I love listening to it. And people are just plain entertaining.

01:07:57.10 – 01:08:10.32

I can tell you that. So check him out. It's all on the Ramsey Networks, anywhere great podcasts are heard, and certainly on the YouTube show as well. So anywhere you are. By the way, if you're listening to this show, we thank you for that, and we can use your help.

01:08:11.26 – 01:08:44.66

If you would subscribe or follow, or whatever it is on your type of podcast or YouTube, that would help us immensely. The numbers change dramatically when you do that, because the different algorithms spit the show out in the face of people that need it that way. And when you don't subscribe and don't follow, we don't get that. And when you leave a five-star review, we get that. And when you share the show, some of the different platforms have a share button where you can simply share it, or a way to just do a drop down and share it or click the link and send it to a friend.

01:08:44.90 – 01:08:55.38

Or, if you listen on talk radio, thank you for that. Tell your friend where you're listening. Share this show. You are our marketing plan. When you do that, it makes a huge difference.

01:08:56.28 – 01:09:09.74

Last week, we were number two and number three in all of Apple podcasts. There's about two million of them. And Joe Rogan was sitting there at number one. NPR was in there at number two or three. We were in there at number two or three.

01:09:09.96 – 01:09:21.48

And that's because of you guys sharing and telling people about it. Thank you very much. We appreciate you. It's really important because we don't have a stadium named after us. Like somebody or somebody like that, right?

01:09:21.56 – 01:09:26.14

Excuse me. I got an allergy. But all right. Steve's in Salt Lake City. Hey, Steve, what's up?

3Speaker 3
01:09:27.14 – 01:09:41.34

Hey, guys. I've got a short-term question and a longer-term question for you guys. The short starting taking a family vacation. So I'm a single income earner of our family. We have seven kids.

01:09:41.40 – 01:10:07.50

My wife homeschools our kids at home. We've not taken a vacation in probably eight or nine years. And recently, we just got done doing a big home renovation, spent about $50,000 out of pocket, cash flowing that. And the last little probably $15,000 or so, we had to take out of our six-month fund to finish the project. But of course, it always ends up going more expensive than you thought.

01:10:08.24 – 01:10:31.26

So my question is, first of all, we have a kid about to go off to college. In about four months, or whatever it's going to be. And we want to take that vacation before he is obviously gone. I've only saved up about $1,500 for a vacation over the past few months or so. Obviously, that's not going to get it done to take a family of nine on a vacation.

01:10:31.42 – 01:10:51.52

We probably need $6,000 or so for that vacation. My question is, do we pause on rebuilding that six-month fund, back up to about $60,000 and put it for the vacation? Or get that full six months back in the fund and then focus on a vacation?

1Speaker 1
01:10:52.86 – 01:10:55.52

Man, that's so dangerous. That's just so dangerous.

01:10:57.38 – 01:11:07.84

I mean, you completely rationalized spending all of your vacation money and some of your emergency fund on the renovation. And so you chose not to go on vacation when you did that.

3Speaker 3
01:11:11.30 – 01:11:11.70

True.

1Speaker 1
01:11:12.40 – 01:11:22.84

Yeah. So you traded. Because you had the money to go on vacation. You just didn't do the renovation. You chose the renovation instead of the vacation.

3Speaker 3
01:11:24.80 – 01:11:30.02

Yeah. Basically, we bought a house that did not have a built-out basement. And we had half the house, basically.

1Speaker 1
01:11:30.24 – 01:11:40.24

Yeah. So that's when you chose. When you bought the wrong house, that's when you chose to not go on vacation. Because you chose to do a renovation, because you chose. But see, these are all choices.

01:11:41.20 – 01:11:58.40

It's not like somehow somebody stole something from you and you put the money on one thing and now you don't have it to do the other thing. That's how it works, right? Yep. Correct. And having nine kids and no emergency fund or a limited emergency fund, dude, you're asking for trouble.

01:11:59.92 – 01:12:05.84

Okay. That's so scary. I'm scared for you. I don't care. It doesn't matter to me.

01:12:05.90 – 01:12:12.66

You're the one with the nine kids. I don't have to feed them. You do. But I'm scared for you. Okay.

01:12:12.80 – 01:12:20.04

And I want you to get to do the things you want to do. I'd love for you to go do that. You can do whatever you want to do. Y'all are adults. You can make these choices.

01:12:20.14 – 01:12:27.58

You've been making choices. But I want you to realize that when you're choosing one thing with money, you're choosing not to do several other things.

3Speaker 3
01:12:29.08 – 01:12:29.40

Sure.

1Speaker 1
01:12:29.74 – 01:12:45.32

Okay. And so you're choosing, but if you choose to go on vacation and have a limited emergency fund, not if the emergency occurs, when it occurs, because it's going to occur, we have nine opportunities for an emergency here at all times.

3Speaker 3
01:12:45.68 – 01:12:45.72

True.

1Speaker 1
01:12:46.34 – 01:12:59.76

And so when it occurs, then you've chosen to leave your family vulnerable. And the trade was for a vacation. That scares me. So you guys do what you want to do. But I think I'm going on a $1,500 vacation.

2Speaker 2
01:13:00.66 – 01:13:11.24

Yeah. And I think I, man, Dave, I'm totally with you. And working with parents who were dropping their kids off at college, there's always this illusion that we got to get this last thing in. We got to do this thing.

1Speaker 1
01:13:11.46 – 01:13:12.06

It's not over.

2Speaker 2
01:13:12.34 – 01:13:22.76

No, it's not over, number one. But often, that last thing, we don't really care about the kids. We need to do it for us. It's almost like this, guilt-induced, this, is it. We got to do a thing.

01:13:22.86 – 01:13:25.30

And we got to, everybody's got to come do this thing. And it is.

1Speaker 1
01:13:25.30 – 01:13:27.68

But we've never had a vacation in how many years?

2Speaker 2
01:13:28.18 – 01:13:30.14

Right. In 17 or 18 years.

1Speaker 1
01:13:30.16 – 01:13:36.90

And we chose to do a renovation or buy a house that required a renovation, used up all our money instead. That's right. So the vacation obviously was not as important.

2Speaker 2
01:13:37.08 – 01:13:41.36

Wasn't a priority. That's right. And now it's this end. And now there's this sense of, oh, we're about to lose them. It's going to go away.

01:13:41.40 – 01:13:49.34

It's the last spring break. We got to do this thing. And so I would invite the kids into a room and say, we have this much money. Let's get as creative as possible. We're going to make our own snacks.

01:13:49.38 – 01:14:00.72

We're going to go to a KOA. We're going to have a blast. But this is the money we got. And I promise, if you do it right, the kids will have a great time. Now, whether you go and feel guilty because it's not in Cabo or something, that's on you.

01:14:00.80 – 01:14:12.20

But you chose to spend that Cabo money on a renovation or on a house. But bring the kids along, man. And let's try to get as creative as possible and let them be a part of the planning. And so we can come up with.

1Speaker 1
01:14:14.06 – 01:14:14.42

Yeah.

2Speaker 2
01:14:16.48 – 01:14:19.32

You seem distressed. Just to just, uh.

1Speaker 1
01:14:19.54 – 01:14:40.66

Well, I just, I want him to be able to do this. Yeah. But I can't, as an adult, say it's a good idea. I guess there's, I kind of, I kind of get it. But, but I, the other thing, I think that you're pointing out something that's very right, because we had some of the best vacations with our kids that we ever had while they're in college.

01:14:41.12 – 01:14:41.46

Yeah.

2Speaker 2
01:14:41.94 – 01:14:42.84

It's not over.

1Speaker 1
01:14:42.98 – 01:14:54.60

As a matter of fact, on the front of a cruise ship one night at happy hour before dinner, they decided, as adults, to start telling us all the stuff they had done as teenagers that we didn't know.

2Speaker 2
01:14:54.60 – 01:14:56.28

I would have paid money to be there for that.

1Speaker 1
01:14:56.70 – 01:15:12.96

And, um, I left that room feeling like a total failure as a parent, because I had been deceived by these three brats repeatedly throughout their teenage years. And I had no idea. I thought I was so on top of it. And I completely had no idea what these skunks had been into.

2Speaker 2
01:15:13.20 – 01:15:22.30

Well, here's, what's going to be fun at the, at the Ramsey cruise. Um, we're going to do it again. I'm going to get Rachel and Daniel and do it again. Things that have happened in the last decade that you probably don't know about. Oh, I don't even want.

01:15:23.22 – 01:15:25.92

And we're going to, we're going to go through them all again, man.

1Speaker 1
01:15:26.12 – 01:15:40.02

So, yeah, it was a great cruise other than that particular evening. But yeah, it was, um, but they were adults, Daniel. I think, uh, maybe Denise was out of college and Denise and, um, well, no, I know, I guess Denise and Rachel were both married. Come to think of it.

2Speaker 2
01:15:40.20 – 01:15:45.84

Here's what y'all did. And we've all heard the statistic about, um, we do stuff together with them as adults.

1Speaker 1
01:15:45.84 – 01:15:47.86

That's better than it would have been when they were 13.

01:15:47.88 – 01:15:48.70

. I can tell you that.

2Speaker 2
01:15:48.88 – 01:16:03.16

Well, and that's the thing. There's a statistic going around that you get 19 years with your kids. You get 18 with them at home in the rest of their life. All added together as one year. And I think that we just go, yeah, but it's, it's your twerp as a parent.

01:16:03.34 – 01:16:10.28

It's one of those cultural, they're just gone. And I think, nope, if your intention on you build relationships and you're somebody, they want to be around.

1Speaker 1
01:16:10.60 – 01:16:15.24

Yeah. Then it's kind of like, what stage of children did you like? the best? All of them.

2Speaker 2
01:16:15.30 – 01:16:15.82

They're all different.

1Speaker 1
01:16:15.88 – 01:16:19.54

And I don't want to do any of them again, but I liked all of them.

2Speaker 2
01:16:19.78 – 01:16:21.46

That little boy who just reached out to.

1Speaker 1
01:16:21.66 – 01:16:24.94

Oh, he's great. He's great. As long as I can hand him back. That's what, grandparenting.

2Speaker 2
01:16:26.14 – 01:16:27.48

Yeah. My son's humongous.

1Speaker 1
01:16:27.48 – 01:16:32.86

I don't have to do the potty training. I can just do the hugs. Okay. So that, that's great. That's the way it's supposed to be.

01:16:32.88 – 01:16:49.58

So, you know, if I don't know how great grandkids are going to be, I'd have been nicer to their parents, but you know, that, that's a different thing. So, but I'm, I'm loving this stage. Right. I'm loving the other stage and I've loved every stage. I don't, yeah, it's, um, so embrace the toddlerhood, embrace the teenage years, embrace.

2Speaker 2
01:16:49.58 – 01:16:53.52

them leaving for college, but every expense is a choice at the end of the day.

1Speaker 1
01:16:53.92 – 01:17:07.94

And you're choosing. the thing you got to remember is called opportunity cost. in the finance world. You're, you lose the opportunity to do B when you do a, when you do B, you lose the opportunity to do a, it'll only do one thing. It won't do both.

01:17:08.52 – 01:17:36.22

This is the Ramsey show. live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual, amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one, bestselling, author and host of the Dr.

01:17:36.34 – 01:17:49.06

John Deloney show, where you can get help with any area of your life. He's my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.. Linda is with us in Cincinnati. Hi, Linda.

01:17:49.16 – 01:17:49.70

How can we help?

3Speaker 3
01:17:51.84 – 01:18:06.74

Well, I feel really broken. I have acquired some personal loans, credit cards, and medical bills that my husband is not aware of. They total in about $60,900 to my dollars.

01:18:08.90 – 01:18:19.68

I really don't know how to confront him about it. And I guess I need to know what my next steps after I would do that would be.

1Speaker 1
01:18:21.42 – 01:18:23.50

It's pretty scary. Yeah.

2Speaker 2
01:18:23.58 – 01:18:24.76

What happened along the way?

3Speaker 3
01:18:26.90 – 01:18:46.88

Well, we've been married. It'll be 29 years this May. I'm 50 years old. I'll be 50 on March, the 23rd. This happened one other time that I had got some credit cards, and it was in 2012..

01:18:47.92 – 01:18:52.14

The quantity of that was $7,774.

01:18:54.00 – 01:19:13.64

We bought a home in 2000, and we ended up refinancing it in the 2012,, and we were able to get that caught up. He was upset, but this time, the quantity is much more.

01:19:17.30 – 01:20:26.44

Unfortunately, I met a—well, fortunately, I met one of your preferred coaches back in 2017, and I wanted to get finances in order, not live paycheck to paycheck, and at the time, I didn't have any credit card bills. I just had a few loans, and I feel like my husband has neglected some of the emotional support that he should give, and so the coaches said, you know, you need to be a team. Your husband should come, and my husband did go one time, and during that time, you know, we talked about our situation. He didn't show a lot of emotion. I cried and begged for him to take over the money, and so the next time I met the coach, he said he could tell that my husband wasn't totally involved, and we continued to meet for less than a year, and I felt like I could maybe do it on my own, and so here we are.

1Speaker 1
01:20:26.44 – 01:20:33.32

So you're handling the whole household budget on your own, or your finances are separate, and you on your own have gone into debt.

3Speaker 3
01:20:34.56 – 01:20:58.00

It's all together, but he gets paid weekly, and a lot of times, he will cash his check, and he will take some of that for his lunch money, and he does smoke, and so he has like, he takes that money. If I take the check, I will give him like $120 for that next week.

1Speaker 1
01:20:58.00 – 01:21:04.50

But you're supposed to be managing all the money, and so the only reason he doesn't know about the debt is he's not involved in the money.

3Speaker 3
01:21:05.76 – 01:21:06.22

Correct.

1Speaker 1
01:21:06.48 – 01:21:12.98

So why was he upset when he gave you the money to manage, and then you didn't do it? because he doesn't help?

3Speaker 3
01:21:15.84 – 01:21:27.46

Well, I guess, I mean, I take responsibility. I shouldn't have done this, but I do feel like he should have stepped up.

1Speaker 1
01:21:30.66 – 01:21:46.42

Yeah, both are true. Yeah. Both are true, and they're not, you know, no, you shouldn't have gone this far in debt without talking to anybody. You should have raised a stink a long time ago, but now here we are. So it's $61,000 in debt, and what kind of debt is this?

3Speaker 3
01:21:48.56 – 01:21:50.74

$11,000 of it is credit card.

01:21:52.36 – 01:22:00.20

$27,000 of it is like little personal loans, but they're terrible. High interest rates and stuff.

1Speaker 1
01:22:01.24 – 01:22:08.36

So, basically, you come up short in the household budget and go cover it with a credit card or a payday advance loan or something like that.

3Speaker 3
01:22:09.38 – 01:22:10.40

You are correct.

1Speaker 1
01:22:10.62 – 01:22:10.82

Okay.

01:22:13.54 – 01:22:33.96

It wasn't like you went and bought something for yourself on the side while he's completely running the household budget over here, and you just lied to him about a credit card. You're running the household, and you're not doing a good job, and that got you guys into debt. He just doesn't know about that. Am I correct, or am I missing something?

3Speaker 3
01:22:34.74 – 01:22:36.60

No, you are totally correct.

1Speaker 1
01:22:36.82 – 01:22:42.52

Okay, all right. And the rest, so $27,000 is the bad personal loans. How much was credit cards again?

3Speaker 3
01:22:43.72 – 01:22:44.68

$11,000.

01:22:44.78 – 01:22:45.02

. Okay.

1Speaker 1
01:22:45.08 – 01:22:46.00

What's the rest of it?

3Speaker 3
01:22:46.74 – 01:22:52.86

I have a 401k loan that $270 comes out of each paycheck.

1Speaker 1
01:22:52.86 – 01:22:55.36

What's the balance on the 401k loan?

3Speaker 3
01:22:56.52 – 01:22:57.12

$5,200.

1Speaker 1
01:22:58.62 – 01:23:01.06

Okay. And what's the rest of it?

3Speaker 3
01:23:01.66 – 01:23:04.54

The medical bills are $7,400.

01:23:04.96 – 01:23:09.32

. I mean, it's like $7,407.72,, but I'm just kind of giving you the rough.

1Speaker 1
01:23:09.40 – 01:23:16.86

You're fine. I don't think the pennies don't matter. at this point. I'm trying to get the concepts. So who got sick?

3Speaker 3
01:23:18.22 – 01:23:40.70

It was my daughter that's in college. She was having a major stomach pain, and it took two emergency room trips. So $4,000 of that is, well, it's $2,600.. Both of them are about $20 difference for two different hospital emergency room trips.

1Speaker 1
01:23:41.30 – 01:23:54.62

Okay, all right, Linda. And then- Here's the thing, here's the thing, okay? You've got some financial problems that are solvable, but, more so, you have a tremendous marriage problem.

01:23:57.02 – 01:23:57.50

Massive.

2Speaker 2
01:24:02.24 – 01:24:03.60

Do you agree with that?

3Speaker 3
01:24:05.56 – 01:24:07.72

I do. Okay. I really do.

2Speaker 2
01:24:08.36 – 01:24:28.20

When something is this big, you have a data point. And that is when you sat down with them and said, hey, I've been managing this all by myself, and you're not helping. And I have driven this car off the road into the ditch to the tune of $7,000.. You've got a data point on how he reacted.

01:24:29.86 – 01:24:49.40

Now you're eight and a half X that, or eight X that, eight times that much. I recommend you get either a couple or a pastor, somebody that you trust to be a part of this conversation, because it may be combustible. Are you going to be safe? Is he going to overreact? Is he going to yell and scream?

01:24:49.52 – 01:24:52.30

Is he going to hit you? Is he going to run out of the house? What do you think his reaction is going to be?

3Speaker 3
01:24:54.22 – 01:24:56.48

He's pretty much passive, aggressive.

01:25:00.10 – 01:25:09.26

And I do fear, emotionally more than anything, the rejection. I think I could take better if somebody punched me.

01:25:11.96 – 01:25:14.04

He doesn't beat up on me or anything.

1Speaker 1
01:25:14.66 – 01:25:17.74

Okay, you need to sit down with a marriage counselor.

2Speaker 2
01:25:18.36 – 01:25:18.68

ASAP.

1Speaker 1
01:25:18.92 – 01:25:26.92

Now, the debt thing, you can work out with one of our coaches, and you actually know how to do that when the two of you get on the same page.

2Speaker 2
01:25:27.12 – 01:25:34.90

Hang on the line here. I'm going to hook you up with three months of better help for free, and at least give you somebody to call. Right now, today, licensed counselor, hang on the line, and Austin will get you taken care of there.

1Speaker 1
01:25:38.42 – 01:26:08.02

Listen, tickets for the Live Like No One Else cruise are selling fast. This is the ultimate debt-free vacation, and I can't wait to celebrate with all the folks who've worked their butts off and changed their family trees. We will be sailing through the blue waters of the Caribbean with the Ramsey personalities and other special guests. A bunch of cabin options are already sold out, so hurry and reserve yours with a $600 deposit today at RamseySolutions.com slash events.

01:26:10.78 – 01:26:35.12

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. So, John, we wanted to let her off the hook because she had so much weight there, and we'll help her offline a bunch of different ways. Come clean with a $61,000 that she hadn't told her husband about. that is really derived from her being saddled with managing all the money by herself and doing it poorly.

01:26:36.16 – 01:26:55.18

And too ashamed to say I'm not doing it for the money, I'm doing it well, and I can't do it by myself. I asked you to help, but you didn't. And then, instead of bringing that forward, she just wallows in it, and it spirals and gets worse. So 100% of that is a marriage issue, not a money issue. Right.

01:26:57.96 – 01:27:36.06

And so, I don't know, let's kind of reverse engineer that a little bit. If somebody's in the earlier stages of something like that, what, okay, like the first, okay, she took him to the financial counselor, and he was disinterested but sat there. Then he continues to just basically dump the entire responsibility of the household finances on her, with no emotional help or help of any kind. As a matter of fact, quite the opposite, a cloud looming over. If you screw this up, I'm going to be mad and reject you.

01:27:36.98 – 01:27:47.92

So what should she do and where? If someone's facing something similar, where, in that storyline, should the direction change in how she's handling this?

2Speaker 2
01:27:48.18 – 01:28:01.16

Well, she did it in the right order. She went and met with a professional, one of our Ramsey coaches, who then said, I'm not going to meet with you. You got to do this together. So she brought her spouse in. Spouse looked at her and said, I'm uninterested.

01:28:03.22 – 01:28:20.06

And we see this happen a lot with my friends who work as personal trainers. Like both couple, the couple comes in, they're both going to get in shape. One's like, I'm not doing that. So now you've got a choice. Are you going to poison yourself because it's easier?

01:28:20.20 – 01:28:44.04

Because it's, it basically, she chose over a period of time, I'm going to cash in my integrity. I'm going to cash in my, I'm not going to seek extra help. I'm not going to raise the flag here because he's not helping. Right. And at some point, when somebody, when you're, when your person, you're married to cashes out, you have to make a choice to, I'm not going to further dig a hole and punish myself.

01:28:44.16 – 01:29:00.28

I'm not going to live a more miserable life because you're not participating. I'm not going to take misery plus misery here. And so I'm going to control the only thing on earth I can control, which are my thoughts and my actions. And I'm going to do the best I can with what I got. And if you're not going to help me, then I'm going to get a coach to walk alongside me for the entire duration of this thing.

1Speaker 1
01:29:00.60 – 01:29:05.48

Yeah, I'd get a coach, but I'd also, then, every time it comes up short, I'm going to dump it in his lap.

2Speaker 2
01:29:05.94 – 01:29:07.46

Every single time. Yeah.

1Speaker 1
01:29:07.78 – 01:29:15.32

Every time. The first time I'm doing the budget and we don't have enough to cover everything, I'm going to go, we're out, we're short.

2Speaker 2
01:29:15.64 – 01:29:20.68

Or I'm going to go put a, I'm going to get a realtor and put a sign in the yard, because we can't afford this life that we're living.

1Speaker 1
01:29:20.82 – 01:29:22.10

Yeah. There's, you know.

2Speaker 2
01:29:22.18 – 01:29:23.94

I'll put a sign in the two car windows.

1Speaker 1
01:29:24.08 – 01:29:39.98

This idea that you're going to give it to me to handle, and that's suddenly going to make you not have to deal with it, isn't going to happen, because you're going to deal with it every time it comes up short. I'm going to dump this in your lap. We're going to turn Mr. Passive-Aggressive into all the time we're talking about this, because I'm not going to carry this by myself.

2Speaker 2
01:29:40.22 – 01:29:42.90

I'm not going to drown just because you won't swim. Yeah. Right.

1Speaker 1
01:29:43.20 – 01:29:50.04

And I'm not going to allow your inaction to cause me to hide everything. Right. Out of shame.

2Speaker 2
01:29:50.26 – 01:29:50.90

And here's the other side.

1Speaker 1
01:29:51.08 – 01:29:57.30

Just put it in his lap, put it in his lap, put it in his lap, put it in his lap. Every single month. I can't do this. I'm not doing it right. It's going in the hole.

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