Armchair Anonymous: Grateful for a Lie

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous, I'm Douglas McCarthy, I'm joined by Lily Reinhart.

I wish.

Why?

I love Lily.

Well, we love her, but wouldn't want to be her when you're, Monica, Lily Padman.

Well, I am Monica Lily Padman.

Oh, grateful for a lie, we could have, you could have lied just now and then been grateful for it. You could have said, hi, it's me, Lily Reinhart. Oh, and then, wow. Because that is the prompt for today's Armchair Anonymous. Tell us about a time.

Yeah, because, you know, lies get a bad rap out there.

They do, but we all know we got to do it occasionally.

Sometimes you got to do it.

It's the best course of action.

Sometimes you puke in the bed when you're little and you have to pretend like it wasn't you.

That's right. Or that you reached climax embarrassingly early as a teen and then pretended it was because you were taking ibuprofen.

Oh, is that?

Okay. Yeah. One time I did that.

Yeah.

Oh, man. Is that a thing?

No.

No, but I didn't know what to do. I was just so embarrassed. And the only thing that was, I could, that was new in my life is I had thrown my back out and I had like a ibuprofen 800s I was taking and I was like, I think it must be these ibuprofen.

How old were you?

Oh, 17 or 18.. And it was, I think it was because it was so out of left field. It was this really beautiful girl I went to high school with that I didn't really have much communication with. And then we were just at my friend Kurt's house one night and she, pretty much, yes, initiated with me and I just was like, ill prepared and too excited.

And you were on all that ibuprofen.

I was bumped up on 800s, yeah. And boy, did I, was I, I still, like. I get, even just telling you the story, I get a sharp pang of embarrassment.

Oh, my gosh.

Because here she came for me. She probably had high expectations and I just was so thrilled to be getting in there that I was done.

I have a weird, I wonder if I'm alone here. I could be, but I feel like that is so flattering.

Yes. Like, likewise, if I were to put it in a girl and she immediately exploded, I would be very flattered and I think there's room.

It's like a little crappy, because you don't really get to like have sex, but it's still very flattering.

It is. So, I think there's like probably a window of it being flattering and then of ultimately, you're going to be like, you got to hang in there, you know, take care of it just before we do it. You know, figure something out. It's only going to be charming and flattering for so long and then you're going to want to get yours.

Well, here's another big question then for-.

Lovers?

Yeah.

Young lovers?

Would you rather, if you're a girl in a heterosexual relationship, would you rather the guy come immediately so you can't really have sex, but it's so flattering or that they can't come?

Uh-huh. And they hump away for a long, long time and then just throw in the towel.

And then you come like seven times?

Well, I guess-.

We got to do that.

That's true.

You are experiencing the pleasure, but also your ego is probably a little bruised.

Yeah. Well, it's so funny. So, this is interesting. I'm sure it's an evolving opinion throughout the experience. So, while he's not coming and you're coming, which is fantastic, but now you're on the other side of coming.

Yeah. And you're ready to be done.

And he is. And now you're thinking with your normal brain. Yeah.

And if he's like really trying and can't.

Exactly.

And he's like breaking pencils off on the side and he's getting frustrated. And then you feel, I think- And then he pulls his phone out and starts scrolling through pictures of other people. Oh, my God.

That's awful.

Oh, God. And then he comes across your grandma in a wedding dress. Oh, ew.

I'm taking that picture down.

Why? You might be helping somebody.

No, I don't want them to be scrolling. Listen, I think it's an interesting question, because you should be in it for the pleasure.

Probably take the ladder. Yeah.

Yeah, but we're all egomaniacs.

And I don't think there's a should or not. It's really, what are you after from a sexual experience? Yeah. I happen to be after approval.

Yeah.

So, me blasting right away. Right. And then making excuses is not what I'm in it for. Yeah, sure. So, it's a big letdown to me.

Take a hike.

Yeah. That's a version, which is fine.

Everyone can do whatever they want to do. I just think that's an issue.

Everyone just needs to get what they want.

I mean, we have to be a little careful about sex for approval only.

It's still very enjoyable for me.

Yeah, but then...

I love it. Don't take it away from me. I want to be, I want to do it the way I want to do it. Okay, fine. Do whatever you want.

I guess.

Again, I'm not a sub, but some subs love being a sub.

Sure. People have all kinds of wants and desires.

This is not even the prompt. We're really off of planet Earth.

Stop.

Stop.

It's so literal. Okay, please enjoy stories about times. people were grateful they lied.

I am in Boulder, Colorado, in Weird Sim. I don't know if you remember talking to that adorable blonde nurse named Liv from the Heroes episode. Her mom got knocked out by the paddleboard when she was paddleboarding and she had to bring her to shore.

Yeah, this is sounding, this is actually a sounding player.

You know her?

Yeah, we're really close friends.

Oh my God, that's fun.

I thought you were going to say you knew the person that left Kyle. I went to college in Colorado and got in an Uber, and then the person next to them shit their pants and then they all jumped out of the Uber, including the driver. I wish you knew that person.

That was.

Yeah. I don't think I'll ever hear Colorado and not think of that.

I think the reason I blocked out a little bit of paddleboard is because I sometimes block out a little bit of the water ones, because they're too intense for me, because I'm so scared.

She's very nervous about her own swimming.

Is yours water related?

It's not. It's not at all.

All right. So you lied at some point and it turned out to be the right thing to do, or minimally, you were grateful that you had lied. Walk us through this.

So this takes place in second grade in Coron Elementary in South Elgin, Illinois, not too far from where Wabi Wab grew up. I was the new kid in school. It was about a month into the school year and there were these group of girls that I was absolutely infatuated with. I thought they were so cool and so sweet. They had the best snacks, just the trifecta that you want, an elementary school friendship.

Okay, really, just really quick touching with Monica. Is any of this ringing a bell?

All of that, but I didn't go a sympathy route because I wanted to be strong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the technique, but the shit. I want to invite them over, but I can't do that because you don't want anyone to come to your house. You want to be in the group. And you got to wait for them to invite you.

Totally. I think of a plan. I go to school the next day, super excited. I kind of cornered them at recess when we were playing together. I'm like, you guys, I have a secret.

Yeah. This is how Munchausen starts.

I was just about to say, this is first step towards Munchausen's.

Or Munchausen's.

Well, I'm going to, I think it's Munchausen's.

I appear to report that was the first and last symptom of it. Are you a nurse? I'm a pediatric PT. Well, medical.

Medical field. I know.

So I didn't really think through any of the details, like what would I do when they actually came to my house? Or how am I going to continue this live? But I did have the wherewithal to make them pinky promise me that they wouldn't tell anyone. And in my brain, I was like, they pinky promised, secrets locked in. And so the rest of the week, I was just absolutely on cloud.

Yeah, just so sad.

Shocked beyond belief that someone had broken the pinky promise and that news got out.

You're feeling violated, betrayed, embarrassed about the lie. All of the above.

Probably guilty because of the mom, like now. the mom feels like she's not good enough.

Yeah, totally.

I was just begging her like, okay, don't make me tell them. They are my friends now. And she's like, no, Kaylee, you have to tell them. I was like trying to bargain. like, okay, just give me a couple of years, like, wait till they know me better, so they like me.

Oh boy. Well, of course. Why? Well, because the parent knows this is completely untenable. It's going to come out sooner or later.

No, I would talk to the other moms and say, look, this is what happened. I'm her mom, obviously, but this is a lie she's chosen to tell to gain the affection of your mean, bad daughters who refuse to hand out love on its own, without lies. So I'm just going to let her continue.

Oh yeah. Or at least just let it fizzle out, like let it come out eventually, but I get it. I do respect the teaching moment and I was absolutely petrified the next day, walking into class. I remember being so silent, not wanting to look at them. They're probably over there thinking, oh, this poor girl, she's really in her head about her dead parents.

Oh, moms, don't understand.

You're really on our side for this.

And I sit down and I'm already crying, and they're like, Kari, what's wrong? Are you missing your parents? And I'm like, no, I have to tell you, I'm not an orphan. My parents aren't dead. I just really wanted to be your friend.

Oh, kids have grace too.

Some of them.

Some of them.

In that one act of kindness, everyone was like, okay, I guess we're cool with this. And to this day, 20 years later, they're still my best friends in the world. Oh, wow.

Do they all remember you telling them that?

Yes. It's like the fun fact. whenever like, this is my friend, Kaylee. Guess what she said to get me to be her friend.

Well, and it's a testament to, when people admit what they do and they have some humility, that 99% of the time people are compassionate.

No, I would say like 23% of the time. I think you got so lucky that there was a Cassie in the group, because if she hadn't done that, the rest of the girls are waiting for one person to make a decision. And so if one person had made a decision that was like, well, we can't trust you anymore.

Yeah, but the foundation is so obvious and at the surface, which is this gal wanted to be friends with us, so bad.

As an adult, we can recognize that.

That's what I'm arguing, that I think, even like little people.

You've never been a little girl.

I haven't.

They can really be mean and like to say like, no, you're in it and no, you're not.

Yes, for sure.

So congratulations.

Thank you. It turned out really well. However, since that day, I cannot lie, because I'm petrified of them having to face the aftermath of telling the truth.

See, look at this. This is a big victory for the parents, because it ended up, you got to be best friends with them anyways and you never lied again. So worked out pretty well this time.

They rolled the dice and it worked out.

It did.

Oh, Monica, I can't wait to see you guide these situations.

Hey, I'm going to do great.

No problem. I'll be your aunt for the next six years. We'll move districts at the end of that and then you can start with the truth at the next school.

Yeah, I'll start all over.

Well, Kaylee, thanks for that adorable story. That one was high on cuteness factor. Thank you.

It was so great to see you guys with my eyeballs and not just hearing my ears.

This is so fun.

Right back at you. We have no idea what anyone looks like that listens, but every time we meet, I'm Cherries.

It's the best.

It's the best. Have a great rest of your day. You too. Take care.

Oh, my God. She's so cute.

What if that whole thing was a lie for us? If it was me? To be friends with us? She has a history.

I'm fine with it.

Okay.

I'm fine with everyone lying. Sometimes you have to to get through this life.

Sure, of course. Well, there's innumerable times where a lie is appropriate. They're well documented in your standard philosophy class.

Like the sand art and the cookies.

Right. And the throwing up hot dogs.

Yeah.

Hi. Hi. Can you hear us?

I can. Can you hear me? okay?

Oh, wonderfully. And we're going to call you Lillian?

Yes. I tried to do a little sneaky name change and Zoom said, no, we know you're not Lillian.

Okay. No problem. Okay. Lillian, you told a lie at some point and you are ultimately grateful you did that.

Yes. About two years ago, I met the sweetest, funniest, hottest human being on planet Earth.

Oh, tell me more.

At the time, I was coming off of catastrophic heartbreak. Like the kind where your worldview changes, and I was definitely still nursing a sore heart. But I met this person we'll call Liam, and the first date was the best date I've ever had.

What's the best date for any aspiring suitors?

Oh my gosh, do I have advice for this? Trivia night at the diviest bar you can find in your area.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah, it is fun.

Characters left and right. Trivia is fun because you learn a little bit more about the person than you normally would. You can also just be embarrassed if you don't know something and you just get a lot of stuff out of the way. Yeah. So I highly recommend.

Okay.

Is it risky, though?

Because if you don't know anything, for me, I'm so bad at trivia. They would just be like, you're stupid. You don't know anything. Yes.

But for me, I need to get that out of the way, because that's going to come up regardless. That's true. They're going to find out.

You're right. You don't know your geography. It's going to come up.

Yeah. That's really true. Okay.

I say, if you're feeling brave, get it out of the way, go to trivia. So we did that and literally closed out. They had to ask us to leave because the vibes were immaculate. I, still in the back of my mind, was like, is love dead? But you know what?

Butterflies. Is it IBS? What are we dealing with here? A hundred percent.

Every time I looked at this guy, I was getting butterflies. So it was definitely not setting off alarm bells until disrobe, getting bad sweats.

Oh boy.

Okay.

And then chills. Uh oh. And then I'm pretty sure I gulped. It was one of those things, you know, where you're like, oh, now I'm having to pay more attention to the guards at the front and back exit. Yeah.

It's occurring to you. You have food poisoning.

Something's happening. I didn't know for sure what it was from or what caused it, but it wasn't dating jitters.

Right. And you're fully nude.

I was in my skivvies at this point.

Some barrier. All right.

Yeah. But I wanted to keep the good vibes going, because it wasn't like we were snuggling up to go to sleep.

It was ramping up. Yes.

My primary issue was that the head of the bed butted up against a very thin wall. that was shared with my tiny bathroom. No.

Oh.

His beautiful, beautiful, curly haired head was laid to rest on just the other side of where the toilet was. And I could tell what was happening was not going to go quietly into the night. It was going to be a ruckus because I even tried to do a little, I'm going to go to the bathroom really quick and do a little tester. Yeah. You can like do a little, oh.

Get it together.

Yes. Yes. A lot of heat. Yes.

So I still felt like a gust of wind could throw this relationship off, you know, when you're in that early phase where you're like, if he doesn't like my middle name, what if that's the thing? So I could tell this was more than a gust of wind and channeled my college education and determined I'm going to take a shit in the communal apartment laundry room. Great. Because that's the only place I could think of that was not there and that I could get to and from quickly enough to not cause a scene.

Yeah. First of all, incredible good fortune that there's a public toilet in the laundry room. That feels very rare.

So that would be rare if it were true. Oh, there is, however, a small bin for lint.

Oh, no.

A trash can for lint.

And you're calling a trash. can a bin, right?

It's a small trash can, yes. Meant to be emptied every couple of days from lint. So I grabbed a paper bag. Yeah, it was not my trash can. So I grabbed a paper bag, and this was where things get blurry for me, memory wise.

I also got to say you're being a little optimistic by grabbing a paper bag and not a plastic bag. But maybe that's all she had. There's a lot of optimism in that decision.

Quick decisions are being made. And the one thing I know for certain before leaving the apartment is I told the first lie of the relationship, which is that I left something important in my car and I'm going to go find it.

Yep. Great.

Have you decided what that important thing is, in case he asks or you're just like, well, hopefully he doesn't ask what's so important.

I wasn't getting into specifics. I hoped he wasn't going to ask. I tried to make it into kind of like a steamy thing. Like you. wait right here.

Sure. Building a little anticipation.

Okay. Yes. Because that would ensure that maybe he wouldn't go. Wait a minute. Let me put all my clothes back on and go find her.

And no one was in there.

No one was in there. The laundry room itself is probably like six by four. Only enough to put the two machines in there and then for you to open the doors. He never came out to find me. Wow.

When you took this dump hovering over a small trash can in a four by six laundry room, did you feel great relief or did you sense that's just the first volume?

Mostly, I think, my absolute determination and will stopped it from becoming an issue later in the night. Oh boy. Bagged it up, dropped it in the big bin that's out front of the apartment building, tucked it away a little bit.

Trying to be polite about it all. Yeah. Have some discretion. Wow.

Oof.

I'm in our shared house now and I love vulnerability. I love being your full self. I stand by this lie.

Yeah. I think you should. I think it was the right move.

I just am wondering, if I'm him, we're about to make sweet love and she has to go to her car. I'm like, is her vibrator in the car?

I think that's the hope. you'd want him to think that.

You'd be like, oh cool, she's going to get her toy. But then, when she returns with no toy, no.

I couldn't find it.

I have a special box. It was very easy to make it like a, I couldn't find that thing, but nevermind.

You still have backups.

Oh my God. You guys have been together for two years. Does he now know that you shit in the trash? can? He must.

This prompt brought it up for me. I love Armchair Anonymous. I listen to it all the time. And when you mentioned this prompt, I was like, oh man, I have a story for that. And we were in the car listening to it together.

No, no, no. He'll love it.

He'll love it. Not anymore.

He'll love it. He'll recognize. his gal will do what needs doing.

Yeah. He's not the person you think he is. if he does, leave you for this.

Doesn't love the fact that you shit in the laundry room. I think that's a big bonus. That's a feather in your cap.

That is such a great point.

Well, Lillian, what an incredible story. I admire your bravery, your resourcefulness.

What's up? And your sphincter control.

I know, because I'm worried about once the lovemaking starts. I even know this one. You're getting a massage and you've got some toots. You know, you're making sure you don't have a toot on the table. And then they start rubbing in an area where you're like, I think I'm going to have to clinch my butt cheeks to keep this in at this point.

I was a giver for the evening.

Oh, OK.

All right. You were in control. You maintained control of the sitch. Oh, yeah. Well, thanks, Lillian.

Here's Taylor. Taylor.

We're going to find out if it's a boy, Taylor, or a girl. Taylor. Taylor, can you hear us?

Hey, guys. Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?

Oh, beautifully. You've got a whole sound set up here.

Using the blankets kind of worked out, I think, as a sound barrier.

It sounds perfect.

Yeah. And why do you have such a good microphone rig?

It might look good, but it's very deceiving. I think there's just like thirty five bucks on Amazon. I use it just to game with friends.

Oh, OK, great. I had a hunch. it might have gaming as part of the explanation.

All casual, though. Not trying to do anything too crazy.

Nothing pathological or addictive.

Yes.

So, Taylor, you told a lie at some point, but you're grateful that that happened.

Oh, yes, I am. So. this took place when I was in college. It was the summer of 2012.. That's between freshman and sophomore year.

Where are you at in the country? I feel like I want that for color.

I live just outside of Baltimore, Maryland, and I also went to the University of Maryland.

Go, what is it?

Go Terps. Yeah, turtles.

Oh, my God.

That's a rough mascot, because they're famous for being slow.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow.

It is tough. A lot of times when Maryland plays another team, you'll see animations of like turtle soup.

Oh, this is so embarrassing.

That would be like a team called the Nebraska Quitters.

Yeah, I always thought it was weird. My mom, she grew up in upstate New York and her high school mascot was the Fighting Quakers.

Oh, that's antithetical. Yeah, right.

That just doesn't make sense.

The Peaceful Fighting Quakers.

At the end of the day, maybe it's good because it's something more memorable than, you know, a lion.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. We just learned that the Rhode Island School of Design, that their hockey team was called the Nads. You scream, go, Nads, go, Nads.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's real. OK, sorry. You're at the University of Maryland. And what happens?

My parents have been separated since I was very young. So I was taking my then girlfriend to visit my dad, who lived in Ohio at the time. We were going to spend a week there. And most of my other step, siblings and friends who are in that area happened to be out of town that week. So my dad and stepmom were saying to us, you know, it's going to be kind of slow this week.

Right.

You can only talk about so many things for so long. So we got to the point where it came the morning of, and I think my nerves had gotten the better of me. And I just had a headache that morning. And I just said, I'm just going to say I'm sick and bail. So I told my friend, hey, I'm not feeling too well.

Nice, nice.

Playing a little fear. It's about them. Make it about them.

A little bit chivalrous, too, because I think a lot of guys would blame it on the girlfriend. And my girlfriend's throwing up this morning. Yeah, she's weak. Not me. I'm indomitable.

I totally get that. I don't know what it was. I just decided this was the easiest out. And he fully bought it, of course. I completely understand.

Wow. They really threw the book at them.

Yeah. In terms of their long-term punishment, of course, these types of things went on their record, that they were caught underage drinking on federal property.

This lie bore fruit almost instantly.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You knew it. Gut instinct.

Your girlfriend at the time, what was her reaction to you, lying about this?

I'm going to be completely honest. I kind of lied to her as well about how much I was feeling sick.

Okay, great. I've had a hunch. there was something in there.

Because you thought she might push back?

Yeah.

Well, you were probably a little bit embarrassed that your anxiety was winning and you didn't want to let her in on that, that you have some anxiety around this. Yeah.

For sure. My anxiety does win a lot of times, but my wife now, she is definitely the most helpful person that I need in all these situations.

Amazing.

At that time, of course, not only did I feel completely saved that I didn't have to go through what they went through, but on top of that, because it goes on your record, for me personally, I was studying journalism and I went on to be a television reporter. To get a public figure-esque type of job with that is not great. So I'm very glad I did not go.

Unless you're an actor, then it's better. Yeah, yeah. The more times you've been arrested, the better.

Oh, yeah. In fact, if we want to go down the whole butterfly effect, I likely would have never met my wife because of this situation. If my first job potentially saw this on my record and said, no, we're not hiring you, I wouldn't have gone to the television market I went to. And she worked at the opposite station as a reporter.

Oh, wow.

We met kind of as like a Romeo-Juliet situation.

Oh, I love it. Rival reporters.

Wow. She was NBC. I was CBS at the time.

Oh, my gosh. The peacock versus the whatever we call CBS. The eye?

I don't know.

Yeah, the peacock versus the eye.

The circle thing.

Well, Taylor, thanks so much for telling us that story. This is a big win for LINE.

My wife and I, we absolutely love your guys' podcast. Would it be possible?

Get her in here. Let's see her.

All right.

Hi, guys.

Hello. How are you?

I'm good.

I think it's adorable that you guys were rival reporters and you found one another. We were.

Did you tell them?

I did not tell them our names.

My name is also Taylor. Oh, cute.

Oh, my ding, ding, ding. Oh. Ding, ding, ding. How convenient. Taylor v.

Before we signed on, we were wondering, I wonder if this will be a male Taylor or a female Taylor. And it was both. And now it was both. It was both. Story of our lives.

Well, so nice meeting you.

So nice meeting you guys. Thank you so much.

All right. Take care. Bye. Taylor and Taylor.

Taylor and Taylor. That's when Taylor Swift was dating. Taylor Lautner. Hi.

How are you?

I'm great.

I was just closing my door.

Is there a full-size Barbie behind you?

Yeah, what's happening behind you with this mannequin?

I was going to keep it naked, but my son told me that I'd probably get canceled. So I decided to put a dress on.

Not on this show. you want it.

Yeah, I know.

Are you in your closet?

No. So my house is under renovation right now. So this is my room with a Peloton in it. My husband's office is kind of everything. And I have a dress company.

And then over here, I made a fort.

So I kind of did half fort, half closet. I love it. And I put the mannequin in front of it to make the fort look more realistic. It's so funny because all I do all day is tell my kids to go build a fucking fort. And they won't.

Sarah, when mushroom trips go bad, it looks like the environment you're in. Was that a doll behind her? And then there's an inordinate amount of beautiful dresses hanging. That's confusing. And then there's, is that a fort?

There's a lot going on in this room, for sure.

OK, so Sarah, you told a lie at some point in your life. And you're grateful for it, though.

I am. This is like 2015.. I had a two-year-old and a five-year-old at the time, boys. And it was the summer. I live in a nice suburban neighborhood outside of Charleston.

You do what you can.

So I reached back into the playroom. And I was like, Lola, thank you so much. You made the spinach tortellini. She's like, no, I didn't. And I was like, what do you mean?

Oh, my goodness. A toy?

A toy. No. A pink one. My husband gave it. I mean, it's, yeah.

Oh, it has sentimental value.

It's not like I take that around.

No.

I went in my husband's bedside table, and the loop was gone.

14?.

So then I go in the boys' rooms, and I look in their piggy banks, and all the $1 to $5 bills or whatever are gone.

Oh, my goodness.

So I went in my closet, and I noticed I don't have any matching underwear or whatever. But I had one red fancy lingerie thing. That was gone, and the thong that went with it, red. And I'm like, oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Yeah.

And you're going to tell her about your vibrator missing and some lubricant.

So I call the mom, and before I even finish the first sentence, she's like, oh, no. And so I get the sense that this is not the first time.

Isolated. Oh.

She's like, I'll have her come over tonight and talk to you and bring you everything. And I'm like, OK. So that night, I was having some neighbors over, having a small dinner party, just four of us. So it's now 930.. And the mom texts me that they're on their way over.

Sure, sure. Yeah.

I start talking to her, and she breaks down in tears. And she has this plastic bag. And in it are the bra and underwear and costume jewelry that I didn't even notice. And, like, a pink tank top and some other tank tops. And the money and all the checks I'd written her.

It's not the sign of someone that's thriving.

Exactly. So. she left, and I went back to the dinner party. And I was like, well, she didn't steal the wedding ring. And they were like, you're so dumb.

Yeah, that's risky.

I was pure pressured into it by my husband and my friends. And kind of the logic was making sense. She was dressed up in my underwear. And she's playing with a dildo. Yeah.

All boundaries have been crossed.

Sure enough, I came back on Sunday. They sent me a text. And they didn't say what was going on. So I was a little nervous. I went to their house.

So no, nanny. You didn't have any nanny cams. So yes, that's the lie.

I did not have any nanny cams. I thought about doing that forever. I just always felt like you should trust the person in your house anyway.

As someone who's nannied, I appreciate no nanny cams. I agree.

And if you do have them, they don't even have to be a nanny cam. But if you were to have a camera, I would be like, we have cameras in our house.

Exactly. You should disclose that.

That's why it's a lie that I was not very proud of.

Now you know how the police feel when they're interrogating. They're like, we have your fingerprints. They don't, right? Or that we have footage. They do that.

The mother actually emailed me a few months later and was like, hi, I just wanted to apologize again. Thank you so much for being understanding and sweet to my daughter. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which is horrible, but also a good thing, because then they can understand what's going on and treat it with therapy and medicine. So that's a step in the right direction for her.

Yes, yes, yes.

She might have not understand what these feelings were about. And maybe it was sort of a catalyst for her getting more help, as opposed to just getting in trouble and stealing things and no one understanding why.

Right. And I don't know how consistent this is, but I do know a few different people have had bipolar episodes and impulsivity has been a part of that. I know a few people that have bought cars out of nowhere.

They spend too much money.

Yes. There's like some major impulsivity. So that sounds related. I'm sure it was. Right.

That's true. Yeah. And their manic phase. And then there are other phases. The depression.

The ramp up phase. You go buy a cool car. From the outside, it would appear that I've had a lot of those spells, I guess. Too many cars around here. Well, you were a blast.

Bye.

Well, have you told any lies? you're glad you did?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I know. I know.

Told some whoppers straight to cops.

Yeah. And I got you free.

Yeah, that's right.

I don't not like that. I lied about the hot dog.

Right.

Like it didn't bite me in the ass that I did, that. It just didn't work.

You lied on my behalf once when all the appliances were stolen out of the duplexes right before they got rented. Oh, yeah. And the new tenant noticed. And then you had to quickly say, I forget what you said.

Yeah, I said like, oh, we're replacing those with like. really nice blah, blah, blah, blah.

Oh, ones that aren't stolen.

Oh my God, I forgot about that.

Yeah. That's when I knew you were down.

I was so scared.

That was a trial by fire. You passed. All right. Love you.

Love you.

Do you want to sing a tune or something? Oh, okay.

Great. We don't have a theme song for this new show. So here I go, go, go. We're going to ask some random questions. And with the help of arm cherries, we'll get some suggestion on the fly.