Shane Gillis In Studio, NFL Rule Changes, Shohei Speak + Mad Online

He is the busiest man in America right now. I think he's America's podcast guest and he was nice enough to do it. Everyone's asked him to go on the podcast. And he was like, You know what I got to do, your guys? So shout out Shane. awesome interview with Shane.

We're going to talk NFL league meetings, we got new rules that are going to be weird. We'll talk a little college basketball. Iowa, going to the Sweet 16, maybe a little preview for Thursday night.

What we got on tap, we got hot seat, cool throne. We have mad online, which also might have been part of your take. We got a little confused with that. Summer is the best way to run the way you want.

Dial it up with new challenges and programs and bring your workouts with you to make the most of outside sunny days with the beautiful summer weather. I've been trying to stay consistent with my fitness just to stay in shape for beach season. Summer is the best time to push your pace. It's the time to move how you want, enhance your fitness journey and feel like your most empowered self. Whatever road lies ahead, your training starts here.

Whether you're one of 298,000 people prepping for a marathon or just working to improve your pace, your training starts here. With Peloton Tread or Tread Plus, Peloton's programs and instructors take you to new heights. Tap into their expertly programmed workouts and real-time metrics like pace targets that can take your fitness journey to new heights. Peloton's classes challenge you to be your best. whatever your experience level, Peloton has classes designed to push your potential.

Call yourself a runner with Peloton at OnePeloton.

Com running, Okay, let's go.

Welcome to part of my take presented by DraftKings Sportsbook. New users can get five bucks uh, turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code TAKE. Today is Wednesday, March 27th and PFT. We've got some new rules to be mad at. RIP the swivel, hip drop tackle. Ah, you want to start there?

Let's start there, let's start there. Because, as we told you on the show, the hip drop tackle banning that would be a massive, massive mistake. I think you agree, right? A mistake. Yes. Oh, it's a mistake for many reasons.

Yeah, the first reason in my mind is we have just added a rule that is going to be debated. Similar to can't land on the quarterback. There will be a big, big game decided by this. The the hip drop. What is it? What's the penalty now?

Is it 15 yards? I actually don't know if it's 15 yards, I don't either. They kick him out, it feels like 10 15..

They did it in the name of player safety, they said. they banned it, but we don't know what the. I don't think it's an ejection. Yeah, it can't be an ejection. But either way, there will be a moment where this happens and it will end a drive. And people are like, this is bullshit.

That was football, and it's just another thing in the line of NFL tinkering with the game and making it worse. Well, they're making it. It's such a subjective call because you have to have like certain elements that are involved in the speed that the game's played out. You're going to have referees that are like, I think that was a hip drop tackle, I'm not really sure.

And to me, I think one of the biggest things that are not looking at with this is that it's a penalty that can be affected by the offense. So, like a quarterback getting landed on by a defensive player, that's all on the defensive player at least, right? Yep, but if somebody is getting tackled and you're trying to fight through the tackle and you shift your weight and you hit the guy back. You can throw the guy's body around and put him in a position where now he's making a hip drop tackle, yes.

And that's the way that he brings him down to the ground at that point. Yes, by letter of the rule. It is a hip drop tackle. The other thing is, you're going to have the most annoying people in the world screaming hip drop at the TV screenshots of hip drop tackles.

You're going to have people I don't want to name any names, but we sit next to a guy on Sundays named Jerry. And the Steelers have the ball. Every time somebody makes a catch, he's going to say, hip drop, yeah, hip drop. And not only that, but to player safety.

So there were a couple injuries this year with hip drop tackles.

The hip drop tackle was used 230 times last season. Okay, 15 players got injured. Also will be a 15 yard penalty potential fines as well.

Okay, so that's good to know because it will decide a game at some point this year. But similar to when they changed, you know, helmet to helmet, head hunting, all that stuff, which was good. The waterfall effect, rundown effect. Is that the right word?

Waterfall effect Unintended consequences, unintended consequences, thank you. The unintended consequences is guys now have to go after people low and at their knees.

And so you can't hit them above the shoulders, you can't hit them like super low, but like, there's nowhere to hit guys. And now you're taking away another use for the defense, making them even more difficult. I think it's going to probably add they're taking away injuries and there'll be injuries because of it, yeah.

Cause, think about this, you're a defensive player, you tackle somebody around the waist, sometimes you end up landing on their legs, right?

Even when you're not trying to do that, so guys are. I don't know are they going to stop trying to wrap up around the waist and instead just go for shoestring? I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen, but I think it's a big mistake to put a rule in place. Because the hip drop tackle, it wasn't a thing. Until, like, a year ago, year and a half ago, a couple people get injured.

Yeah, when you land on somebody's legs, they probably are going to get injured, but guess what, you get injured? Playing football, yes, it is a violent game.

I also think this now makes the tight end position even more valuable. Because a lot of the hip drop tackles are defensive back. Smaller guys getting beat a little bit and trying to slow down a bigger guy with a hip drop tackle. Where you try to, you know, don't ride on top of them and let them get a couple extra yards, try to stop his momentum and bring them backwards. Now that you can't do that, like tight ends are going to eat in the flat, that's actually a good point.

Yeah, cause like, how are you going to tackle a tight end, right? So it's like now every team should have the biggest, strongest tight end that can. Then you can't tackle him once he gets by you, or even when you get parallel, you can't tackle.

Yeah, you can't. How do you? How do you hit a guy from behind now? I don't know.

The N.FL doesn't want guys riding dudes from behind. I actually, you know what might start happening is, well, actually, you know, it's tripping. But it would be funny if they just started. If we just accidentally made soccer slide tackles. If people did slide tackles on tight ends, the ref should get cards.

They should get a yellow flag is 15 yards, a red flag is you're ejected. So the other rule, which is going to be weird to look at, but I'm actually in favor of this one, is they changed the kickoff rule. Shout out our guy, Sam Schwartzstein.

This is actually his baby. He created this in the XFL, they tinkered it with it a little bit, uh, in the NFL, which is a perfect N.FL thing. That's Sam, We know Sam well and we've had him on the show.

He, uh, he spent like years working on this, testing it, doing all of the data and everything. And the NFL, just like, watched one Powerpoint. We're like, all right, we're gonna do that, but we're going to change it. Not realizing that everything that Sam did was for a reason, so they they tinkered it and they took away.

Like, where the ball ends up, Sam had made it to a point where it's like, this is how you can get it. So that people will always return it and you get the return back in the game. They changed a little bit of it so that might not happen.

Well, what the N.FL did was they made kickoffs so shitty for the last couple of seasons that now we're welcoming anything that involves a return. Yeah, so the the the history, so people who are mad, let's start with this. It's going to look fucking weird. if you watch the XFL, it looks weird.

People will be mad. Week one. It looks weird, like, cause you, you have guys, you have both the offense and defense, or the, you know, the the return team and the kicking team. Standing 10 yards away from each other down the field. And no one can move until the ball is touched or hits the ground. So it's going to look weird, yeah.

And you have, you have the return team. They like backpedal, five yards, seven yards, to wherever their spot is, that they're set up to block. And it doesn't look like a kickoff because there's no big collisions. Yeah, and that's what we've seen over the years.

I just think people are good, I think people are going to actually like it. Because the one thing that the XFL did that everybody was like, Yeah, great job. Um, was higher kickers that are podcasters? The second thing they did was they had a return game that looked unusual and it offered like chances for reverses. And so there are going to be some teams that go like full heads, full steam ahead into figuring out how to optimize this kick return.

That will end up winning games because of the work that they did in the off season to take advantage of the rules on the kickoffs, right? There'll be other teams that are just like, Well, this is weird. Let's just try to run a normal kick return play, right?

And it's so for people who are gonna be like, Oh, this is weird, I don't like it. Uh, I would just say that what the N.FL has done in the last 10 years. I think 2010 was when they banned the wedge. So starting in 2010, they have essentially like, killed the kickoff because they banned the wedge. They banned running starts. They moved the ball, the kick up, and then this last year, then they moved the uh, uh, they moved the touchback to 25..

And then, finally, this last year, they added the fair catch, which essentially just killed the kick. There's no reason for you to return a kickoff, that's right, that's what I'm saying. The N.FL, it was a good job on their part in the longterm to make kickoffs unwatchable. And so shitty that now they add any sort of element that has a return game in it.

And people are like, Yeah, this rocks now, I do think people like it. The numbers are so less than 20 years ago. Uh, in like the 2005 season, 95 of NFL League kickoffs were returned.

It has dropped basically every single year. You can see when the rules come in, how it drops. When they move the ball up and they ban the wedge, it's dropped all the way to 37.6. Was last year kickoffs returned, and I think it even dropped more this year to like 20 or something around there.

I want to see kickoff returns. Yeah, we're going to get kickoff returns. We're not going to get surprise onside kicks anymore, which sucks I like, even though it only happens like a few times a year. I like the idea of a surprise onside. I'm okay with the surprise onside kick as well.

Like being banned because they brought back the unbalanced line. Oh yeah, you know. So the fact that, like, if you now have more onside kicks, actually be recovered, yeah, and and it's kind of there was only two last year.

There was two surprise on kicks in the entire season. I get it. The most memorable one of all time is the Saints in the Super Bowl. And everyone's like, we lost this moment. I understand that.

But the fact that they made it so that you could never return an onside kick, it was something crazy, like less than 5. I want there to be a chance that you can actually return an onside kick again. So if we have to give up a surprise onside kicks, that only happened two times a year. I think I'm okay with that trade. No, so the the, uh, the imbalance line. Did they put that out, like a few weeks ago, right?

Yeah, well, today's when they're voting on everything, so yeah, the the imbalance line, I like that. Make onside kicks a thing again, because at the end of the game, if you try to recover when the game's over, you have like no hope. I feel like it always happens where they try to do the onside kick and either it doesn't go 10 yards or it just goes out of bounds.

Or it goes directly into someone's hand. They should make it also illegal for the receiving team to swat the ball out of bounds on an onside kick. Yeah, and then recover it. I mean, I do think the perfect answer for onside kicks is you should just have it be a fourth and 20 play for offense.

Because everyone would love that, they might, they might do that at some point. I think the Ravens were trying to do that. Yeah, they were, they put that out there.

But but yeah, I, I, I'm okay with the trade. I, I'm going to miss surprise onside kicks because they are, like, very electric. But if you tell me that there's a 15 chance now, you can return an onside kick. I think that's something I would take, just for the fact that you still have hope at the end of a game. So I don't know if that's the trade-off they made, I think the trade-off actually is.

Since they changed the normal kickoff rules, they had to then change the surprise onside kick. Because the way the players are set up now, you can't do a surprise onside kick, right? Because you have to declare, okay, we're setting up in this normal, what is now the new normal position to kick it deep.

Started talking, like you said. They started talking about the onside kick thing a couple weeks ago and it was like, we're taking away. Surprise onside kick, but you now have to declare, you now have to declare, and you get an unbalanced slot. Yeah, yeah, so you. There's actually no way that you could do a surprise onside kick if this is the new normal kickoff rule. The one thing that is going to be interesting. And I love the strategy behind all of this. Because I was talking to Sam earlier and like, congratulating him. And he's like, the only thing that I didn't plan for is these kickoff rules. With Tyreek Hill. Speed, yeah.

So if you, if teams start putting just their fastest guy back there, it's going to probably be most likely like they get to the 30 or above every single time. And then will it just be well, we'll kick it out of bounds, so is this? So it just goes back to touchbacks? Is this? is this giving us maybe an edge?

Maybe just take all the overs. Well, the the the the ball placement will be farther out there. Yeah, more points, yeah.

I'm in for it. Yeah, I mean, honestly, if you're the dolphins, you absolutely do need. Tyreek Hill returning kicks now because think about where he's starting and it incentivizes kicking it in bounds. And, you know, down the and also there's two returners now.

So you can have two returners back there, Well, I guess you always could, but you can. That's different than the XFL. XFL only had one, which definitely is advantageous for the returning team as well. The one rule I don't like that needs to be changed is that you can't advance a recovered punt, yeah.

Why not, why can't you? Yeah, like, how many times has that happened where a punt, like, hits off a dude's head? Somebody picks it up and then they run with it to the end zone. And then for a split second, you think you have a touchdown.

Then you remember, Oh shit, we got to bring that back. Yeah, I always get confused with college. yeah, is that college that I'm thinking of?

Do I know ball? I'm pretty sure that's college, I think it's both. is it both?

Yeah, someone fumbles a punt and you recover, I think if they fumble, if they have possession, then you fumble. You can pick it up and return it, but if it's a muff, I don't know if you can.

College and NFL have to get on the same page because we're going to watch old school kickoffs in college. Although I do like how college has one foot in bounds, yeah, I agree with that, because then when a receiver gets two feet in bounds, you're like, that dude can play at the next level.

Can someone look it up for us?

I know you can't return it in college. Yeah, I'm looking for something definite, but I don't want to speak without, nah, speak without it. Can you advance?

We literally just spoke without knowing it. I typed in Advanced punt football and the first thing is a Reddit thread, Why can't a team advance a muff putt in Reddit? All right, so you can't, so I don't know.

Type in best muff close-ups.

See what that comes up back with, I think that'll tell you. Jake. No, I think they can't.

Are you serious? Jake? Yeah, just gonna burn his computer, got him company computer.

I think you're right. There's also a rule change in baseball that they have been discussing, I guess, in the weeks leading up to the start of baseball season. Guys can't gamble on their own team. They're heavily considering reinstating Pete Rose before they announce the Shohei Ohtani situation. No, the thing they're looking at probably for next year, because we're talking about robot umps.

I just heard this right now on the radio. One of the systems they're thinking about, and I love this, they're thinking about giving teams three challenges for balls and strikes per game. Now, that's not that cool. What makes it cool is that the batter has to decide whether or not to use a challenge. They do this in single A and double A, and maybe even triple A.

I've seen this before, it's awesome because it's instant. Yeah, I love the player having to decide. You don't have a manager, that somebody is on the phone with him for a replay. That saw it upstairs.

It's like, you're in the batter's box. Did that look outside? And it's great because I've watched it happen. I don't remember what league it was, but it's not slowing down the game because the batter just taps her head, Ump, turns around, it's like a green or red light, and then they just keep going. Do they have a flag?

I don't know if they have a flag, I would rock if there was a flag, but yeah, whatever league is doing it. Because I've seen this video, it's very efficient and it adds great. I'm all for these type of rules that add strategy.

When are we going to burn these? Another N.F.L. rule that's being changed is the replay assistant can correct certain types of incorrect calls for roughing the passer and intentional grounding. So if there's a hit on the passer and it's not helmet to helmet, the replay official can instantly be like, not a penalty. Pick that flag up. I like that, I like that a lot.

That's a good one, as long as it doesn't slow down the game. I think that's because that's one of the calls that just is very subjective and pisses everyone off every single year. So, yeah, look, this is the video right now showing it. Yeah, he just taps on his head. Yeah, the catcher can do it too.

Okay, so the catcher waves up and then he calls it, it's maybe three seconds. Yeah, I like that. What are the teams playing in this? That's the Tampa Tarpons, which I believe is the Yankees single a.

Okay, so single a has been.

Look at that shout out to Single A. Just pushing it, pushing us to a better sports world. I'm okay with this.

We also had in the league meetings. Jerry Jones is just losing it, his scribble. What'd he do? Did you see the picture of him? No, I haven't seen that.

Oh my God, let me look it up. He was answering questions and I think diagramming, the cowboys being all in. And then someone zoomed in on his piece of paper and he was just scribbling nothing. That's relatable, though.

It is, but it also is very funny because that's his plan for the Cowboys. Being all in, it looks like he tried to draw a clock seven times. It is very relatable in that who hasn't had a piece of paper and a pen in front of them and just start making scribbles everywhere? I mean, this is great for anyone who's really talented at Photoshop. Put this one in the memes department for next season.

Yeah, he's just scribbling. Would it have killed him to do a little 3D box? Or the Superman S? Come on, man, oh the Super S.

Yeah, the Power S, the Superman S, is the best. What if he just accidentally did a swastika? what if he's like, what? It's a cool design.

Wait, I'm zooming in. Oh, there is some writing on there. Yeah, I'm getting there when you think of me.

You're just sitting back like a boss. But yeah, we have the league meetings, which I love. Just a bunch of football guys walking around in a hotel in Orlando, somewhere in Florida. Yeah, somewhere in Florida.

Just deciding the fate of the league. I also the vote for the new kickoff. I think there were three teams that didn't vote for it. Some packers, whatever I mean, they probably did a fan vote on Twitter. Losers.

And then the Raiders voted against it. So immediately I was like, this is a good rule. Yeah, Mark Davis is like, I don't like this. Well, I think Mark Davis just votes against anything because that's what his dad used to do.

Who were the abstain? Or the I know it was Raiders, Packers? I don't know who the third team was, but you can kind of tell once I saw Raiders, like, Yeah.

Niners, niners, that's interesting, they also they are smart. niners are smart.

That kind of throws off my theory. They also moved back the trade deadline. I'm not sure why they did that to when I think it's week nine.

Okay, yeah, sure, probably won't be a lot of trades, it's so arbitrary, and they're also just the NFL just doesn't have a lot of trades.

No, but it's actually nice that we can talk about like you can convince yourself that your team will do a trade. Yeah, well, it's bad for shitty teams, because shitty teams. Then you have another week of being like, Can we do this?

Yeah, another week of false hope, winning right before the trade deadline. Yeah, death.

Okay, let's talk some other sports. Hey sports fans looking for a new show to binge, check out Mr. Throwback on Peacock.

Follow Danny, a down-on-his-luck memorabilia dealer looking for redemption by reuniting with his middle school teammate. NBA legend Steph Curry That's right, NBA great Steph Curry goes from the court to the screen in this comedy mockumentary. That's pure gold. It's got basketball style and epic lie.

That's bound to come out eventually. You know what they say, ball, don't lie, but sometimes people do. Don't miss Steph Curry in his first scripted TV role, Mr. Throwback, streaming now only on Peacock.

Hank one, two or three topics, two, two. Kaitlyn Clark wins her last game, her.

At Iowa, down to the they're going to the Sweet 16 in Albany. I actually watched that entire game, it was electric. I loved West Virginia. Just being like, we're going to be the bad boy pistons and just muscle you.

But yeah, congrats to her. That would have been a hilarious, hilarious ending if they had lost that game. It was actually a really, really good game. And it also gave some ammo to people that think that this is scripted. To get the rematch of Iowa versus LSU, would that be in the elite eight?

Elite Eight when they play each other. There were a lot of fouls called at the end of the game, a lot of fouls, a lot of them intentional.

Some of them intentional. I saw some people posting like, in the last three minutes, West Virginia foul got called for seven fouls, Iowa got called for zero. They were intentionally fouling the last minute, they were fouling.

I don't think Iowa got called for a single foul, though, right in the last maybe two minutes of the game, there were a couple that could have been a foul. But Caitlin Clark not only did she win, she also got the all-time points record with those final two free throws on a hilarious foul by West Virginia. That meant nothing but meant everything to some of us. And hit the over for her points. Shout out Caitlin Clark.

Her, But yeah, imagine if they had gotten bounced. Did you see where? She told she told her home stadium to shut the fuck up? I love how much Caitlin Clark is like, she, let's just, let's just admit it, she's an incredible player.

When things aren't going well, she has a little bit of baby in her and I like it. Yeah, there was a I like it, there was a great take. I forget I don't have it in front of me. But the person wrote an article about this and they said, Why do we vilify Caitlin Clark for making big gestures like this?

And we talk about her and we have all these judgments about her. But we wouldn't do the same in a million years for players like Dennis Rodman or Pat Beverly. Yeah, yeah, you missed on that. We, we definitely do the same.

We, I mean, if you were alive. In the 1990s, half of the sports ecosystem was talking about Dennis Rodman every single night. The Yeah, I I hope Iowa fans, cause Iowa fans are very protective of Caitlin Clark. I completely understand she gets attacked a lot. So they have to always be, you know, guards up.

I even started a little. Should we have the debate? Pagy Buckets versus Caitlin Clark? People were not happy with that, me just throwing out the debate. Oh no, but you're not alone.

Gino Auriemma Gino Auriemma said If we're if we're going to live in an age of of advanced analysis and statistics, well, then we have the best player. Because all the numbers say she's the best. And she and and Paige Buecher did have, like a she had some very bad injury luck in her career. But so Iowa fans are very protective, completely, understand. I just hope that they can have a little sense of stepping out and being like, Yeah, maybe she does have a little bit of baby in her, which I like again, I I. She's a competitor, she wants to win so badly, but, uh, yeah, she. It was a great game.

So she threw the basketball into the stands after the game was over, and it was Nancy Lieberman, a former. Was she a coach or a player? But she said, If a guy does that, if a guy does that, nobody says anything. If Pat Beverly does it, or Russell Westbrook or Dennis Rodman does it, nobody gives a shit. No, I would, I would give a shit. We analyzed literally everything that LeBron has ever done his entire life.

If LeBron did that, it would lead first, take undisputed for three months. Yeah, shout out. The Kittles were there too. Also if LeBron he really got into a tight jersey, it was it was his wife's jersey.

But yeah, if LeBron did that and I was in the stands and got hit, I would check myself into a hospital. I'd be in a neck brace tomorrow. Um, Hank, did you watch the game? No, oh, you don't like women.

That's not true. Well, why didn't you watch the game? Name one woman, Katelyn Clark Oh, nice.

Name One woman not named Katelyn Clark.

My mom, that's a good answer, good answer, good answer, good answer.

Um, all right, so other stories. Should we talk a little about Thursday night, cause we're going to obviously record after Thursday night after we watch the games. Very, very excited for this sweet 16. The dust has settled a little bit and I just couldn't be more excited for the eight games we have on Thursday and Friday.

I'm most excited for UNC Alabama. UNC Alabama is going to be incredible. Uconn, San Diego State being the rematch from last year's Championship game and Danny Hurley finding a way. He is a master motivator. Being like, we got screwed with the time of this game, yeah. He says that the committee has done everything that they could possibly do to not let them repeat.

Yes, and I. But their game is at 6.39 central time still 7.39. That's a bad time.

They knew what they were doing. Also just going to say it, they're on TBS True TV Arizona, Clemson's on CBS. Isn't that weird? That is weird.

That's a little weird, you're going to try to get away with something. They're just anti-Italian discrimination again. True TV Nobody knows what channel True TV is.

No one knows I am rooting for Illinois. No offense to Iowa State, but an Illinois-Uconn Elite eight would be an incredible game. That'd be a good matchup because I think Illinois has that one. Like the fact that they have three studs that could go off at any time. I still think UConn's the best team and they can. Any problem you throw at them, they have a solution for.

But that would be a game that I'd be like, this is going to be a war. And who knows if Terrence, Shannon or Damask or Coleman go off? I'm excited for that game. But yeah, Alabama-North Carolina is going to be great. Yeah. So who do you think is most likely to win amongst the underdogs on Thursday, Clemson or San Diego State?

Because I'm not Illinois, I'm not going to say Illinois, and I'm not going to say Alabama. But the real, the real surprising ones would be Clemson or San Diego State. San Diego State, you think, would be most likely. That's my prediction.

Oh, revenge. I think Clemson is most likely because Clemson has been ignored by this podcast, and if we know anything about this podcast, we are the dumbest people in the world. So when we say we put out that graphic, listing every team, but Clemson has teams that could win the national title.

They have that bookmark. That will be the perfect ending to March madness. If Clemson wins it all. And we just have that sitting there, that would. What do you think the numbers would get? On that graphic? There'd be tens of thousands of retweets and quote tweets.

Yeah, it'd be pretty big, it'd be pretty big, but I might be rooting for it. But we could also give ourselves credit for for like, spurning them on to a national championship, yeah.

We do the we do the Long Beach State. Yeah, it was us, yeah, it was us. we were the ones who got them, yeah.

Listen, I didn't, I didn't. I'm not going to sit here and say that I did that on purpose, but it worked out the way I want it, I will say. The number one overall seed has lost in the sweet 16 in the last two years. Bless you, Hank's just sneezing. Bless you.

Exaga lost to Moss in Arkansas two years ago in the Sweet 16.

Last year, Alabama lost to San Diego State, San Diego State, San Diego State. It would be something if UConn just rolled through.

This tournament covered every spread well, do you see Dan Hurley? Just like they did last year, we're going to keep blowing these teams out of the tournament. I love it good.

Yeah, Hank, are you okay? Yeah, I may be allergies, I don't know.

That's not allergies. you're sick. I hope not. I hate allergies for that reason. What are you allergic to?

I don't know, I just sneezed three times. That's not common. Cocaine, No.

People should have to wear pins on their shirt. Wait, Hank, how do you know that you're allergic to cocaine?

Maybe I'm not, I don't know. It is the like the changing of the seasons is when allergies start, I understand.

But do you not agree that people love to do the? I'm like, Are you sick? No, I have allergies. They should have to wear pins that say like, I'm an allergy person, so you know, like, all right, if they sneeze, it's probably allergies. Or I can just tell you guys in the beginning, you know, I'm an allergy person.

Can you tell the difference in a sneeze between allergy and sick? Yes, because you sound differently. Oh, what did that sound like? Hank sounds fine.

No, like talking, Oh, you sound sick. Do you have allergies?

You lied, you lied well, like allergies to the seasons, like, you know, pollen and shell, you aren't allergic.

Everyone's allergic. I feel like allergy season's not a thing, you're just saying you're allergic to being alive. Hank doesn't have allergies.

He just said, allergies? Well, yeah, you know, pollen, and yeah, no, I don't. well, you're not allergic to those things.

Hank, You're not an allergy guy. Yeah, you're not. you're a strong man. I can smell allergy guy. Jake. Jake's an allergy guy.

Max sneaky allergy guy big time we were. We were talking about Cologne the other day, and Jake was like, I think I'm allergic to, I don't know, I don't feel sick.

That checks out with me. No, I don't care if you're sick or not. I just it's been a take for a long time that I just. I think people use allergies as a crutch, which you just literally proved it, you know, and it takes away from people who actually have allergies.

Yeah, right, you just took their culture and tried to pawn it off. I apologize. It's like real allergy. People are like T.J. Watt.

How's are you guys so far into allergies that you what Max, you're an allergy? It's a great podcast. No, it is. If you're here for Shane Gillis, we'll be done with allergies in a second.

Are you guys? do you guys check the pollen report? like, Oh, surfer would check, like, big waves? No. I just know I have bad allergies and so you're not like, oh shit, pollen's high today.

Got to stay inside. No, I like those allergy. People are freaks. Are you a believer in? Like the people that say that everyone's allergic to everything? But just some people are more mentally tough.

Yes, because I'm not allergic to anything, people who say it's mental, Yeah, I have an issue.

No, I think it's mental. No, it's not. I just I'm. I'm built different, my brain's built different. I went to, Um, I went to a museum the other day.

Uh, it's a color factory in downtown Chicago with the kids, and my mom was listening. She's allergic to shellfish and they, they said in the front there, cause there's like snacks, and the person was like, Is anyone allergic to anything?

And she's like shellfish. And the person responded, You should be okay, that shouldn't be the answer, That's good, you should be okay.

Shouldn't be an answer to that question. Yeah, Shellfish is one. It was the color factory, yeah.

You should know if you've got, you should know if you have crabs, and there's like, Oh yeah, we'll skip the sea, the sea life exhibit, you should be okay. It's not an okay answer, though. I was roommates with a guy in college that had a severe, severe shrimp crab allergy. But he loved shrimp and crabs so much. So once a year he would just eat shrimp and then just shoot himself up with no shots.

He's just like, Fuck it, tonight's the night. I think there was a I can't remember which bear it was. Who didn't want to do the conditioning test, and he just ate a bunch of shellfish before the conditioning test, cause he was allergic, that's awesome.

Yeah, but uh, yeah, the the. And then there was a little girl who was like, Who said penicillin? I was like, What the fuck, how are you alive? Also like, Yeah, what is? Isn't penicillin like a some of the like treated polio with? But I would, I would feel like the genetics that would get passed down to the generation with Penicillin.

If you, if you were allergic to penicillin in like the 1600s, 18, probably 1800s, when they discovered it, you probably would have died. Yeah, that's just not an answer, though, to, like a five-year-old, you'd say, yeah.

Yeah, like, you're probably scared of everything now. Yeah, they're like, the one thing that's supposed to save you you can't have, you're scared of medicine.

Yeah, uh okay, so that was allergy talk, um, that was number three on my topics show.

Hey, I believe him. Okay, I don't know why, the way that he's presented it, I actually think it's genius. Because there's not going to be any chance that they can prove that he's lying. If he, if, if they can, if him, he's like, he stole from me.

He said that this guy stole all the money from me without my knowledge. If he says that, and the interpreter also says that, and it turns out that, like, maybe maybe they are lying about it, maybe Shohei knew about it. But as long as they stick to those stories, you can't prove it otherwise. I think you can, though.

How forensic accounting? You can say that that EPA logged in No. I know I'm saying different.

Like, Shohei is now going down this path where he's like, This guy stole from me. Yeah, they're going to get a forensic accounting and they're going to show this is how this guy stole from me, yeah.

And if they do that and it's like, Dude, no one stole from you, I think he'll be in deep shit, but I think he's. I think they're going to take that path. Also. I just love the idea of forensic accounting, don't understand it at all, but it sounds cool.

That was my question, you were saying, you kept saying that word. I saw the word, I saw the word, I saw the someone, someone tweeted the word.

I was like, Ah, of course, forensic accounting, they'll do forensic accounting. I'm pretty sure Law and Order does forensic accounting sometimes.

So, I mean, it will solve every problem here. Forensic accounting. But even if it shows his computer was used to send the transfers, he can always just say like, EPA logged in on my computer. But I think if that is the case, there will be a lot of questions, like, I think the forensic accounting will come back and be like, Look, he stole from me.

He did it from his own device, yeah, he siphoned it off. Think about it when you, when you do a money transfer, if it's a big money transfer you. Your bank sends you a text message and says, verify this big money transfer using this code that we just gave you.

Yeah, so I don't know if he also had access to Shohei's phone, so that was the other part of it. Reading up more about this guy. There was a quote from a couple of years ago where someone interviewed him and he said Translating is only 10 of my job.

With Shohei, he was like his best friend, He was doing everything with him. He was he. Remember he? He, uh, was Shohei in the home run derby? I think he was, he caught for Shohei in the home run derby.

That, like he was his, he would do long toss with Shohei, he would go out to dinner with Shohei. He, I think he was so deeply embedded that it was like almost a brother relationship. And then it would make sense that he was able to do it and Shohei it. Also, people were able to figure out that Shohei for the longest time had his mom do his accounting.

So it's not like Shohei has been maybe the most. He's maybe been a little too trusting of people in his life. And not had someone else do all this stuff. So it leads me to believe this potentially could happen. So IPE also has another discrepancy on his resume, so in The Angel's media guide, IPE said that he graduated from UC Riverside in 2007. The school has no record that that happened.

So this guy just might be a liar, right? Uh, but is it? Baseball? Has his hands full? Yeah, I think, and I know this might be a cop out, but I just think like, I'm going to believe him. Until they do the forensic account, I'm waiting for the forensic accounting to come out.

So Shohei, I'm a big believer in it. Shohei also is going to have some trust issues with his next interpreter. I would say so, because this interpreter played the interpreter game very, very well. If you're trying to be sneaky, just like he exploited a weakness in the interpreter system.

Yes, which is, you have one client, you can lie to that one client about what everybody else in the world is saying. Yeah, and you keep that person. He like. At some point, maybe the power went to his head and Ipe thought, I'm Shohei.

Yeah, well. He also said he was Hideki Okajima's translator for the Red Sox in 07, and that just wasn't true. Oh, no one from the Red Sox remembers him.

He's not in any of the, uh, these are just verifiable facts. Like he had a different translator that was in the media guides, and the more I was reading about it, too, it again. I know I might be naive. Believing Shohei, but the situation that Shohei is in being in a country where he does not speak the language. And he has one guy in the clubhouse who he can converse with, you would end up becoming very close with that one person.

That's the only person you can talk to, right? That's a crazy thought experiment to be like, I only have one guy in this entire world, you know, obviously his family and stuff. But one guy day to day, when I go to work that I can speak with, that person would just become your best friend, yeah.

And I think that I think Shohei needs two translators now at all times. I was just hoping so they can, like, standing next to each other. Then you tell me what this guy just said to me and you both have to say it at the same time. I was hoping so bad that Shohei sat down and just spoke perfect English.

Would have been fucking awesome, Kaiser Soze, that would have been good, it would have been great. But yeah, I think his new translator is, uh, it was Kente Maeda's translator, who then worked for the Dodgers front office.

So possibly more trustworthy, just the idea of four and a half million dollars. Like multiple wire transfers going through, and him not knowing about it, like him, never getting a verification thing sent to his phone, to his email, getting a phone call from somebody at the bank. Yeah, it's weird, it's very weird, it is weird.

And if if you're the if you're the translator, you probably found yourself in a situation where you were saying that. Shohei is backing you up on all this. To your bookie, right? And then your bookie again, giving you that four and a half million dollars of credit. Or using your position as a translator to get inside information on the games, right? And I mean, just think about it.

Like, if if they're that close and he probably did have at least a credit card or some type of way to get money. It's, I mean, it's no different than memes. I'll lend him my credit card and I won't see it for two weeks. He's my IPE, yeah.

You know, so it's like that that will happen, right? Memes Yep, see, it could happen to anyone.

Uh, it could happen. I had a very dumb thought. I want to just be open with everyone. very dumb thought, probably sleep deprivation yesterday when he was doing his press conference.

I was like, man, it would fucking rock if I was a translator, like if I went overseas and translated for like, a base American baseball star. And then I sat with that thought for a couple of minutes. I was like, I don't speak any other English, any other languages, yeah.

But you speak English, it's just like I. Basically. My thought was just that I would go overseas and just be friends with someone and never actually do the job. It would be very funny, though, if you just made up what they were saying. Like, has there been a case of a translator that doesn't speak the language? That goes over there? And it's just like, Hey, uh, this guy says. This reporter wants to know, like, what your favorite cereal is?

Yeah, and then you just lie, Yeah, there's sign language, people that have made up their job.

Yeah, gone up and done the fake signs. I love, I love those people. Huge flaw in my whole plan to become a translator for a star athlete overseas. You know what else I was thinking about?

Interesting timing with the wife reveal of Shohei. He was such a private guy. We knew nothing about his personal life. We didn't even know his dog's name until, like, three months ago. And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh, wife reveal.

Four days later, five days later, biggest scandal in baseball breaks about IPE. You think maybe it was he got married and his wife started being like, Hey, where's all this money going? His wife might've found it out because they were under investigation at the time. Yeah, it's like, dude, you need to clean up your finances.

Yeah, this guy's just taking money, he keeps losing parlays. Yeah, like, Hey Shohei, where where this four and a half million dollars go?

We're going to buy seven houses. Yeah, and he's like, that's a good question. It's like, $2 million gone right after the Super Bowl, yeah.

It's just it's weird. The time I. My thought was that Shohei found out about the investigation, hired a crisis team, and then part of their crisis team was like, we need to get ahead of the negative publicity. Let's show everybody your superstar wife, yeah.

I wonder I wish we could get IPE's picks, cause he sucks. yeah, if he's down, be great to fade IPE.

Fade IPE Yeah, imagine if we just get me he? I wouldn't be shocked if IPE just ends up being a Twitter tout, yeah.

He's actually one of those things, one of those people that we think are bots in our all the replies. Yeah, 100 fixed on Telegram, yeah.

That's IPe God, I just block all those all day. Yeah, just never goes away. Ipe's a pussy in bio.

It never, yeah, pussy link in bio. I don't block those, no, those ones you got to keep.

Cause they might have the pussy in bio. Yeah, maybe close up, muff, you never know, okay?

Let's get to hot seat, cool throne. This podcast is brought to you by eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Have you ever been on a date where it feels like the other person is speaking an entirely different language, not actually a different language? But it's like you're both just completely not getting each other. I've been on a first date before with a woman that didn't like golf.

She was a workaholic, she didn't like vacations, and it was clear she didn't get my personality. And it showed finding someone who gets you as hard, right? That's because we're human and there's lots of different humans out there.

That's why eHarmony helps you bring out your personality on your dating profile so you can meet someone you can be fully yourself with. After you've completed eHarmony's Compatibility quiz, you see personality-based similarities you share with potential matches when you match based on personality. You're already one step ahead when it comes to meeting someone who gets you. So if you're searching for someone you can be yourself with, I'd love for you to try eHarmony.

Take their compatibility quiz to get started today. Eharmony Get who gets you Henry? Hot seat, Cool throne, my hot seat is Jaunte Porter. Oh why?

What happened? Raptor's Center is under an NBA investigation into Irriga. Ooh, yeah, big word.

It's a tough one. Slow down, irregularity. There it is, got it?

Irrigation. He's too wet. On his prop betting involving him. There was a couple times where he basically started the game, took himself out because of a eye injury, and on those games there was a bunch of action on his prop bets unders.

Unders Bad, very bad. So I saw the report. It said that it was the number one paid out prop of the night.

Yeah, both times that he did it right and both times he started the game, then came out with an injury. And he's not a guy that, like, we're not talking about a jokic or an embiid or a tatum. Where people are betting these star players, he probably doesn't get a lot of prop bet action night to night.

And then the two nights that he comes out of a game, it ends up being a lot of action on it. Was he a Stephen Che? Data play? I don't know. We got to look into that. I'm actually looking forward to all the revisionist history that's going to go on. Where people do. Deep dives into every single play that he's ever had in the N.B.A. and been like, Look how bad this shot is.

Had the under? Yeah, well, I think he was just not even shooting. There was one game where he banked in a three and then his face after you could tell he was like, fuck. And then the time he came out with a face injury, people were already breaking that down.

He didn't really get hit in the face, he got kind of hit in the neck. Yeah, this is bad, it's bad.

And yeah, the N.B.A. is in a very tough spot right now. Yeah, yeah, I don't know how. I mean. They'll have to find like, the evidence and see if he actually betted himself. Because I would assume it was him betting it himself or someone of one of his friends, betting itself, not him. Like telling everyone, because then that would have, you can't. That's something that would never be a secret for more than two seconds.

Right, today's media, right? Or he was kind of like, we're speculating with IPE, like in debt to a bookie, yeah.

Gave the bookie info I'm going to sit this one out, but this one was all public, though.

Ipe was a private bookie. Yeah, this one is they have the irrigation.

Irrigation irregularities on a legal sports book. Yeah, so yeah, it's bad. He's also active about crypto trading, like he talks about it, which is just a that's a. that's a red flag in itself.

Yeah, I mean, how many apes did he have on? He's active in social media about his options, crypto trading, and like, he's talked about, you know, I took 5K and turn it into 100k. Is crypto back?

Bitcoin is. I've been seeing a lot of you remember the shit coin craze of like 2021, when everyone was into what were those weird coins like Shit coin, Cum, Rocket, Moon coin, all that stuff? I've been seeing more new shit coins recently. Well, I think it just goes hand in hand.

Anytime bitcoin like pops, everyone who has not invested in bitcoin years and years ago is like, Fuck, I want my bitcoin. Let me just invest in fart rocket, yeah, or, you know, fart bucks.

Just let me know until we're on the moon. Yeah, okay, I need to know when we're at the moon. He's also Michael Porter Jr..'s brother.

That's true, so are we betting him too? Yeah, what, that's just a fun fact, that is a fun fact.

I guess it could be a fun fact, but maybe he's involved too. I don't want to go and just implicate his brother just yet. Why not? Well, his brother, you wouldn't tell your brother if you were....

No, I probably wouldn't, because I would be trying to do it without telling anyone. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't. There'd be a nine-page article about it. Also, your brother would probably be like, Hey dude, don't do this, yeah.

Also, his brother's making like, stupid N.B.A. money, Jonte Porter's just making, that's true. Yeah, that's a fair point.

Yeah, also his brother's really good, right? and he's been playing really well, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

And then my cool throne is J.

J. McCarthy Yeah, oh, why's that? Congrats PFT.

Okay, speaking of Oz, J..J. McCarthy had a best. Harbaugh called it the best pro day he's ever seen. Yup.

Ever, and he's the best quarterback that's ever played at Michigan and his odds, that's not true. That's what Harbaugh said.

Okay, um. And his odds from being the second overall pick went from 2,500 to plus 400. So, um, yeah, he's getting a lot of talk, smokescreen. He is our late riser.

Yup, Harbaugh was so funny, I just love watching him talk football. He did a whole, like two minutes on how. The offensive line is the greatest football unit because it's the only football unit that doesn't rely on any other units. Mm-hmm.

And like, he's like, every single positional unit, offense and defense relies on the offensive line. Rugged individualism. yeah, collective individualism. everyone else needs the offensive line.

The offensive line just needs each other. Yeah, and it was great. Uh, but Hank, J.J. McCarthy, I want to just throw just a random trade out there.

You tell me if you'd be down for it. Patriots received QB Justin Herbert fifth overall pick 2024-2025. first round pick. Chargers received the third pick to draft J..J. McCarthy and also Juju Smith-Schuster.

Ooh, so you get Justin Herbert, I was with you and next year's first. Oh, okay.

You can't get rid of Juju. Because our colleague Nick Fasoli said, I think he said, I think I'm in. Yeah, I'd be into that, I'd be into that trade if I was the Patriots. The best part was when I was just like, Fasoli, what are you talking about, dude?

He's like, I got got. I was like, No, that wasn't a got. You just said, that was a good trade. I concur. I think that's a fleece.

Actually, his exact phrase was, I actually don't hate this. Yeah, I don't hate it either. Who would hate that? So, to your point, though, hank on J.J McCarthy being drafted second overall? I think a couple, one of the couple of things are happening here.

One, it's smokescreen season. So there might be a team out there that would be hoping that the Vikings might package a lot of picks to move up and take J..J. McCarthy earlier in the draft. Vikings are up to something, remember, yes.

Won't win horse. They're up to something. That's what I'm saying. Like, there might be a team, maybe even a team inside the division, like the Chicago Bears. That might be hoping that the Vikings trade up way too many picks to take. J..J. The other thing that might be happening, we have a new GM in D..C. Adam Peters, right?

One thing new GMs love to do is smoke out a rat. Yeah. So they like to give little kernels of information that might not be true to one person, hoping that one person leaks it to the media.

This is all, this is all facts. And how does that affect? J.J McCarthy? I'm saying, Oh, I think he's actually going to get drafted very high.

He will, but I don't think he's going second, he's our late riser. There's always one of these guys. I mean, remember when Baker, like when he drafted 1-1 going, you know, a month before, no one thought that was going to happen, yeah.

There are people that that climb up. Anthony Richardson was that way, too. Yeah, I think you can. Also just J..J. McCarthy is a perfect quarterback where you can look at it, and if you want to look at it, glass half full. He could be the greatest quarterback of all time. Because you can essentially say he played winning football. He made the throws he needed to make, and they also asked him not to do anything.

So there's so much more, there's upside. You can tell yourself that J..J. McCarthy is the guy, but let's rewind.

About 12 months ago, exactly to this date, everybody was talking about Will Levis going off the board. Yeah, in the top 10, too. So there's a lot of, like, misinformation that gets put out there this time of year.

Stay woke hank. Yeah, okay, stay woke, okay.

Pft, my hot seat is whoever produced the Patriots documentary. Yeah, because Robert Kraft is not happy with that individual. They asked him about it at the league meeting yesterday and he said, I felt bad.

There was so much emphasis on the more controversial and, let's say, challenging situations over the last 20 years. I wish they had focused more on our Super Bowl wins, our 21 game win streak. I felt bad there were players who gave hours and hours of interviews and they only felt the negativity. So a little disappointed that there wasn't more of a real positive approach. Especially for Patriots fans who have lived the experience with us.

We're all trying to find the guy who did. Whoever made that documentary, Robert Kraft, is not happy with you, not happy at all, and the most controversial comments used in the documentary were from Robert Kraft, Yes.

They threw Robert Kraft under the bus, and I don't think Robert Kraft was actually physically editing the documentary. But I would bet that he got to watch the final cut before it was made, and he was like, we nailed it. I bet Belichick's a scumbag.

I would bet that whoever produced it watched each episode one by one and said, Okay, yeah, this one looks good for episode one, this looks good for episode two. And then they kept all that information from Robert Kraft until, and Kraft LLC and Kraft LLC until it came out.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure if you wanted to highlight, you know, the 21 game win season, he could have probably made that happen.

He probably could have made that happen, whoever made the documentary could have, yes. Yeah, a lot of the players coming out being like, I think Rodney Harrison was like, I talked for five hours and all they used was like, one clip, yeah.

And one of the McCourty's, I forget which one, they share a Twitter account, so they're one person. Yeah, we're all trying to find the guy who did this.

We'll never know. Yeah, it's a shame they should take those interviews and make another documentary. I wish he had just doubled down.

You know, like he should have just gotten in front of the media and been like, Nah, that actually rocked Bill Belichick Schmuck. You know what they should have done, they should have released two documentaries, one for Patriots haters and one for Patriots fans.

Yeah, something for everybody, you need to, you need an extra cut. Well, that's coming, that's, that's. That is the takeaway, though.

Cause there is a lot of players and Belichick. It's like NFL Films is going to come out with a documentary and that's going to be the one. Yeah, okay, your cool throne, my cool throne is Birds in New York City.

So they just released the autopsy from Flacco the Owl Remember Flacco, or beloved Central Park Owl? The Spanish owl that escaped from the zoo? Who could forget? flew into the side of a building?

Yeah, felt like I flew into that building that day. Yeah, Bill's would like to sign you.

Um, so they did the autopsy on him and they said that he had rat poison and pigeon herpes in his system. Oh, he fucked, and the pigeon herpes infected his brain and made him a little bit crazy, which made him hit the side of the building. Oh, damn, so flacco, the owl was fucking pigeons.

He was promiscuous, he was promiscuous. I don't know, like, is that? that's is that beastiality, if you know cause?

He's a beast, he's a bird, yeah, and he fucked another bird, yeah.

That's, that's, that's fine. He was just getting, Yeah, that's fine, yeah, no, he just was very promiscuous.

Kind of a slut. Well, we don't slut shame, but he was. If you were to slut shame, you'd be like Flacco, the Owl confirmed slut. He was a whore.

Yeah, he was a man whore, you got to ask, so he was kind of good looking too, though. Was it girl or boy?

I think Flacco was a boy, Okay, yeah, I mean, he was hot, he was fucking.

Say that smoke show. Yeah, like everyone. The reason why he became such a viral sensation was he was good looking and then it went to his head. There was a bunch of just really horny pigeons, a bunch of really lucky pigeons in New York that got to be fucked by Flacco.

Yeah, but apparently if you fuck too much and you're an owl, it gets into your brain, disorients you, and then you just crash yourself into a window and die. Yeah, yeah, okay.

So Flacco, a slut? Okay, my hot seat is me. I've slept. I slept for the first time more than like five hours on Monday night, and I've come to the realization.

I'd like to apologize. I was a bitch all weekend, so I want to say I was a bitch. No real excuse. I actually called, I texted all the people.

I said, don't text me, I said you did nothing wrong. you can text me anytime you want. When my team suck, I think I was thinking about it.

I think it's because I've been so out of practice. With my team's playing in meaningful games, it's been very long time since they played in meaningful games. And, uh, in the past, like, I've done all the things that I've done to other people, like the World series when Dave dressed up in Indian's attire, the 2015 Wisconsin National Championship. When we did an emergency rundown directly after when Florida hit the buzzer beater, we did an emergency pod right after. Uh, I just had been out of practice of I gotta be able to eat the shit if I give the shit. So I was a bitch and I want to apologize. Is that directed to Hank?

No, it's directed to everyone, to the listeners. I mean, there's some people who probably hate me for life, but that's fine. I, uh, I was a bitch. What did Con say? When you texted him and apologized, he was like, Yeah, no big deal.

You don't have to apologize. Oh, that's nice, yeah, so I, you can, anyone can text. And I also got a little. I get a little confused because I eat so much shit on Twitter all the time that I'm like, and obviously other people don't see that.

So I'm like, I take a lot of shit, uh, but I'm I. People can, can, can talk, shit all they want. Yeah, my team suck and I got to do a better job of not being a bitch about it. I really just wanted. I just haven't had any happiness in sports in a long time.

And I just wanted so bad to have a little bit of happiness that it clouded my judgment. I took things personal. You're allowed to be a bitch when your teams lose. Yeah, but like we said, 24 hours, I think that's an appropriate amount of time.

But you can't take it personally. I took it personally, like when Hank showed up in a purple jumpsuit, I took it personally. It wasn't personal like.

I shouldn't have taken that personally. Hank was trying to be a good employee and support yeah, he was using the David Busters hashtag, Yeah.

So I, I took it personally, I was a bitch, no excuses, bitch, made baby back bitch.

So going forward, I don't want to be, I don't want to ever be accused of being a hypocrite, so I apologize. And I will eat any shit that I can eat whenever my teams are on the in the spotlight and I won't complain about it. And we will do that going forward. So when's the next opportunity that you have to get your hopes up? Never.

Maybe in the draft, Caleb Williams.

Yeah, I mean, we're going to draft Caleb Williams, but yeah, whenever, whenever. I, whenever people can troll me, go ahead and I mean, I get trolled all day, but again troll away like I. I deserve it, I deserve to eat shit.

Okay, uh, my cool throne is I got two. uh, speaking of Caleb Williams, he's got a cool pink phone. Oh, that's nice, probably the coolest thing ever.

You guys probably were dying to have a quarterback with a pink phone. I honestly guess what? He's mine, I haven't seen that is that part of, is that part of the Caleb Williams news cycle?

He was at the USC game last night. He has a pink phone. Got people really upset. I say, Uh, maybe think differently. He's so advanced.

He knows that pink phones are cool. Is he supporting breast cancer awareness? Guess what? You probably won't lose a pink phone, yeah.

It's, it's, it sticks out. I had a red phone. it was sick. Yeah, I, I only had a red phone, cause I wasn't secure enough in my sexuality to have a pink phone.

This is going to really suck if the Bears don't take Caleb Williams, cause I've just gone all in on defending him. And as everyone knows on this podcast, I've always said, pink phones are the most masculine thing you can do, yeah.

No, I I think it's a pretty much set thing that you guys are going to take. CALEB WILLIAMS Max, what do you think about the pink phone? I saw your face there, you loved it.

No, I just wanted you to talk about it. Yeah, I loved it, I loved it. I thought it was so cool.

I never even thought you could have a pink phone, it had, like the pink wallet, attached to it. He might've even had pink fingernails, which also so cool. Who doesn't match their fingernails to their phone? I also think that may not have been his phone.

It could have also not been his phone, but if it was whoever's phone, that was. I'm looking at it right now. He might, I think he's got a pink, sparkly wallet, too.

Yeah, it's a sparkly wallet, that's cool as fuck. Jerry McCain paints his nails. That's fucking cool.

Might be the best player in the league, yeah, in the tournament. Also. Great dance moves in this video.

Yup, oh, there was a there was a guy on Duke that had painted nails, too. Jerry McCain Yeah, he's good, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, McCain, yeah.

Yeah, he dropped like 40, he couldn't miss. Yeah, he's a TikTok star.

He is a TikTok star. Yeah. My other cool thrown is Andrew Huberman, who had a hit piece out against him from the New Yorker. Which. Who is he? A podcaster? Scientist? Uh, like bro scientist, he's the world's preeminent bro scientist. Geared towards Will Compton and Billy Football.

Yeah, he's, you know, like Ben Shapiro for science. I don't know. no, I don't know about that, I don't think he's too political.

Andrew Tate for Science No, I'm saying, but like, Bro, yeah, well, I think he's, he's Joe, Yes.

Joe Rogan is the is the Venn Diagram like a big circle? He's, you know, cold tubs like healthy living, no alcohol, that kind of stuff. So the New Yorker wrote a hit piece about him, which is very funny. Because I would say, the amount of people that listen to Andrew Huberman and subscribe to the New Yorker is zero. But either way, uh, the big like gotcha moment was that he has like six or seven girlfriends, uh, which I don't know.

I feel like that's a ringing endorsement for his lifestyle because he's like 48 years old. And to have the energy to have six or seven girlfriends means that he's doing something right with his, like, healthy living. Yeah, this guy gets laid too much, yeah.

Real problems. I mean, it's scumbag behavior to cheat on. Uh, you know, a scene of another. But again, like, he 48 years old and be like, Yeah, I have the time for seven girlfriends. Do the girlfriends know about each other? They I? This the article kind of revealed it and like, you know how it all unfolded, also very funny because people are going back. And he had, uh, a life hack.

Was one of his life hacks was to have a second phone just for working out that only has music on it? I feel like that second phone might've been for others. That's, yeah, that's, that was, that was his pink phone, if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, was he married? Did he like preach? No, I. He probably. He probably is a little bit of a hypocrite in that respect. But again, he's 48 years old and has energy for seven girlfriends. I don't know.

Maybe cold tubs work? Okay, so this is pretty funny. He was dating a woman named Sarah. Uh, that, not a real name, but that was that was the name they used, what they're classifying as girlfriend.

And they they asked her a question she would return, and the answer would be on an old phone. She stood up, left for only a moment, and returned with a box labeled Old phones. Yeah, so it sounds like his girlfriends had multiple phones, too.

Yeah, the the hit piece was essentially like, He's not a great guy, which I don't know if anyone I wouldn't have. Like, if you told me age Andrew Huber is not a great guy, I'd be like, Okay, sure, like, don't make a hero out of a podcaster. So it's like, he the. The one part that was, I thought, was like, Oh, this guy's a scumbag.

Was I think Sarah, his girlfriend was going through IVF to try to have a child while he was cheating on her? That sucks like, that's a shitty move, yep.

That's fine, but again, it wasn't. I didn't, I only skimmed it, so I might've missed something either way. Uh, I just saw the fact that he had seven girlfriends and it's 48, and it's like, how could you have the time to do that? Yeah.

So insane. So I've been watching some of his videos and listened to his podcast just in the past, like a couple of weeks. Because he came across my desk via Billy Football. Um, he's a big cold tub guy. Yeah, big cold, to the point where now I want to get a cold tub.

I've been, I'm going to go back and forth, back and forth between sauna, cold tub, sauna, cold tub, and then all my problems will go away. Yeah, and then it just gives you a natural high, yeah.

But I'm in, I'm in. I don't want to have seven girlfriends, but I'm in on everything else. seven girlfriends would be exhausting. That's what I'm saying. It would be proving that his method works because I don't know anyone who's above the age of I.

Actually, I don't know anyone who could handle seven girlfriends. It would honestly. Now I'm kind of backtracking on Huberman because it led you to a point where you think that having seven girlfriends is a good idea. Yeah, yeah.

It sounds like he's got a messy personal life, and okay, yeah, he's got a sex addiction. addicted to sex, come on the pod.

Addicted to sex? We would have him on the pod, right? Yeah, oh, by the way, can everyone please follow? If you're listening to this right now? Can you follow us on Spotify? I guess they make those numbers public.

So let's get those numbers up. Follow us on Spotify. if you listen on Spotify. Do it, do it, do it.

Uh, okay, Jake, your hot seat, cool trunk, my hot seat is. The Arizona Diamondbacks, they play at Chase Field. They had their penultimate spring training game last night and it was called due to rain.

The crazy part about that is they have a retractable roof and they just never closed it. Oh, they forgot that one guy rules that he just like, woke up, it's basically Max pressing the button. Yeah, like, he just woke up.

He's like, Wait, did I forget to close the roof? Yeah, close it mid game. But they probably should have seen the forecast before. So yeah, biggest poor guy, biggest roof close. Failures. Arizona Diamondbacks.

Number one JFK, number two. Yep, that's it right there. Yeah, so that was interesting.

My cool throne is Christmas Day. Yeah, football is taking over once again. We have another Christmas Day game, it's even on a Wednesday this year.

So they're willing to go the distance. Yeah, we rule, they're going to take over the NBA, we do.

I feel like it is a win for us, it's a big win for us. We did it. I'm not a ratings guy, but I do. In these moments, I'm just like, suck it, NBA.

Yeah, we're watching football. So the NFL said, I think in the last year that they would not do a game on Christmas Day this year because it was going to be on a Wednesday. Yeah, and then they're like, Yeah, you know what, though?

The ratings were pretty good. They said everything. Because they, you know, the rule is that they never do Friday nights because of high school football. And then they broke the. It was obviously Friday during the day, the Black Friday game last year. Yeah, I like it.

They're just cocky, they're like, we'll play football anytime and everyone will watch. At this point, the NFL could invent a day of the week in between Saturday and Sunday. And just be like, Yeah, we're doing satunday now, and that's when we play football.

We're going to do three games on Satunday and we'd be like, Yeah, I guess there's eight days in the week and I'm going to watch football on the eighth one. I kind of. So the teams that play on Wednesday are going to play on Saturday the week before, so they'll have. It'll be exactly like a Sunday, Thursday. It's kind of, I mean, you get a pretty big break after that, an extra buy.

Yeah, cause you go Wednesday, then all all the way to the following Sunday. So I I feel like I would, if your team is good and you want to, like, have that extra buy right at the end of the season. Yeah, I'm in, yeah.

I'd be in on that. How do you think the N.B.A. is going to counteract this? Because Adam Silver's cooking something up in his lab right now? A one day tournament. Either do the breakaway baskets.

Oh yeah, breakaway baskets. Or a one day tournament, the N.B.A. Christmas Cup, where every team plays multiple games that day. And there's only one way, like an AAU game, yeah.

Like an AAU day, 8 a.m. starts, 8 a.m. starts, and then there's one winner. The Cup game tips off at like 11 p.m.

Yeah, you know, what they could do is they could just the N.B.A. could just be make it John T. Porter Day and everyone wins their bets. That'd be nice, people would tune in.

Yeah, they make John T. Porter plays on every game, in every game, they make the rims a little bit bigger, so every, every over hits, that's that would be smart.

So we would have Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday NFL and then the next two days are college football playoff quarterfinals. Beautiful, that's great, love it.

It's great, can't wait. God bless America, can't wait, okay?

Let's get to our interview. We have Shane Gillis on the show Long Time coming. Shane's the man he has probably the busiest schedule on anyone.

And he made time for us, came by when he was in Chicago. Before we do that. PFT, you got a quick word from one of our sponsors. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.

Only one Reese's Peanut Butter Lovers Protein Bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one. Hershey's Cookies and Cream Protein Bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits. While delivering 18 grams of protein and three grams of sugar, one bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day. Whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings, or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.

One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler. Find all One bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com. The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices. Stop searching all over Google for your next tee time. start searching multiple courses in your area from one app.

It's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online. Just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times, plus, the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group. Earn Golf Time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews, and then you can redeem those rewards for free. Barstool Golf Merch in our store. Download the Barstool Golf Time app now.

Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times Barstool Golf Time app now. Now here's Shane Gillis.

Shane's here, awesome to have you. thank you very much for coming by. I mean, you did fuck with me last night because you had a show. you're in Chicago for Chicago Theater shows.

Shane made me do the voice of God and I just fucking blew it. I blew it. I thought you were going to be all energy. I blew it. How do you do the voice of God?

Like, like, being like ladies and gentlemen, like, please no flash photography. And I just blew it. Yeah, so there's, yeah, there's a microphone next to the curtain where you make the announcement. And I was like, here's all you gotta say. Like, if you're gonna take a picture, don't use a flash, don't film anything. And then introduce Nate Marshall and he, I was like, and then say whatever, like, add whatever you want, like, be like, Chicago, what's up?

He literally was like, Hey, everybody, if you're gonna take a picture, don't use a flash and don't film anything. Give it up for Nate Marshall.

Right away I was like, Motherfucker, that was. That was one of the worst ones ever, that was a bad one.

I said to Nate after I was like, I'm so sorry because I feel like I fucked you. He's like, No dude, actually. Like it was good because you were so bad. It made me laugh and like, put me at ease going out there, Yeah, it was funny.

Yeah, do most places have their own voice of God, or do you just you deputize? No, you have to do it. Yeah, usually if somebody's with me, I'm like, you want to do it, it's, but no, or I have to do it, which is terrible. I'm so bad at it.

Maybe I'll show up tonight and give it a second chance. Yeah, get pumped next time you're in New York, it should be frank. The tank, Oh, that'd be incredible.

But he would just be like, the New Jersey transit is is delayed. It'd be incredible to get him going while he's doing it. Yeah, be like, Yeah. The Phillies rule the Mets over the voice of God. 10 minutes of it.

He does it, he comes to rough and rowdy for every rough and rowdy. Just to get in the ring right before and just say, is everyone ready to get rough and rowdy? Well, that's not it, that's not it at all, it's it's.

Are you ready to get who's ready to get rough? who's ready to get rowdy? Are you ready to get rough and rowdy? Yeah, that's pretty good.

Yeah, you did better than what I did. He's Bruce Buffer. Yeah, yeah, all right. So you're here. Thank you for coming on.

Dude, you're, you're. I don't want to because I know you, we're friends and I know. Like, the thing about Shane is he is just a regular dude and it's like, this last. Whatever stretch for you has been probably mind-blowing. I don't want to suck your dick because it makes you uncomfortable, but shit man, you're killing it. Thanks man, you guys are too.

This place is beautiful. Yeah, let's just suck each other's dick the whole time. You guys are awesome. That's what you do to get famous in comedy, right? You have to suck two dicks at once.

Yeah, I will start with something easy. Uh. All-time favorite Notre Dame player Oh, Shane is a diehard Notre Dame fan. Diehard, I'm gonna forget.

That's a tough one it could be. It doesn't have to be the best. Samarja was, Samarja was up there.

That team was, that was a big team for me. Samarja was Quinn. Yeah, yeah, Brady Quinn.

I mean, we've, we've had him on the show. Darius Walker The best spiral of all time. Yeah, he was.

That spiral was so, so sick. Yeah, that team was good, the safety was. Zbikowski, right, Zbikowski.

Every time he'd be on TV, they'd be like, he's a Golden Loves boxer. So tough. And then Samarja was a really good receiver, and then he goes pro as a baseball player, that rocks.

It made a lot of money and he played forever. Yeah, yeah, he's on the cubs. Okay, so you're Notre? how are you a Notre Dame fan?

How'd that start? My grandpa played for him and my cousin played for him. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you go way back.

So my whole family's obsessed. Do you like the the tradition, the, uh, you know, the whole Notre Dame-ness of it? I do you get really into that?

But there's also a part I didn't go to the fucking school, so like the academic standards, I don't care, that's always like, it's like, who cares?

Just fucking win. What's up, what's up, man? He's gonna be on in a minute too.

No, yeah, yeah, sit, yeah, yeah, sit down, sit down, sit down. all right. He's gonna go shoot hoops. Uh, yeah, so you've been a Notre Dame fan your whole life? It's, uh, I hate Notre Dame, you know, people hate Notre Dame like hate.

Yeah, Notre Dame. Not as much as they should. They used to, like growing up, they, they hated them. yeah, because they haven't been. They were so good.

Yeah, now people are starting to be like, I was cheering for Notre Dame. It's like, Damn you, you suck. You have the the people, and I count myself as one of them being like, I don't like Notre Dame. But they're good for college football, which probably it's kind of like a pat on their head.

Yeah, it's like, I kind of wish they were in the mix, yeah, but they've been in the mix a little, yeah.

They're all right. Are they going to join the big ten? I don't know. I think they might have to eventually, I think they should.

I would like it, yeah, that'd be fun, it would be sick. USC being in there helps.

Now, yeah, yeah, and then bring back the Michigan rivalry. I would love to bring back the Michigan rivalry. I know, fucking hate Michigan.

I know that would be a great one. The, Uh, I think actually Wisconsin plays Notre Dame in a couple years at Lambeau. I want to say they were supposed to do that, yeah, and then Covid.

Yeah, yeah, and I went to the game at Soldier Field and Notre Dame, that was nice shit out of, yeah, it was like a pie game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, Oh well, Drew Pine came out of nowhere, started dealing.

Dude Drew Pine, all like five, ten of them. Yeah, he's hitting the McGregor strut and shit after throwing, Yeah, so wait, would you rather have a Notre Dame national title than an Eagles Super Bowl?

Yes, without a doubt, no doubt, no doubt, yeah.

Okay, I mean, you have to. Everyone has that, like, you know, they rank, like, where it is, it's Notre Dame.

Yeah, and yeah, the Phillies, yeah, I'm not gonna say it, never mind what.

No, say it. I was gonna say, like, if they died, I'd be for a national title. The Phillies died, the Phillies program, it's our team died.

The whole team died. I'd I'd trade Bryce Harper for, like, a knockoff ring. No offense to the Phillies, no offense to the Phillies.

I love the Phillies, but so it goes, it goes. Notre Dame Eagles Sixers. Are you sixers guy? I would probably say Phillies over the Sixers.

Yeah, yeah, but yeah, the Sixers, flyers, whenever they're good, that's fun.

Yeah, they've been bad forever, so I stopped liking hockey. Yeah, speaking of the of the N.B.A. you.

So you met Steph Curry the other day and he like, was like, I know who you are. Yeah, that was crazy, that was so, yeah. That has to be one of those moments, because, like I said at the start, like, you are a regular dude.

You have not changed much, even though everything's happened to you, like, does that happen? You're just like, How, how does Steph Curry know who I am? Yeah, that was wild and it was like.

You've said, in those seats, there's like courts. I couldn't move, right? I was like, uncomfortable the entire game. I didn't move because I'm too big. I'm sitting like on people's laps, just uncomfortable the entire game. And at the end of the game, I walk over and I'm like, Hi, I'm Shane Gillis.

You guys nailed it, whoever did the lip reading got it perfectly. I was like, Hi, I'm Shane. He was like, I know who you are, dude. I was like, sick.

What's up? And then he was like, he said, he was a fan. I was like, Damn, that's crazy, that is nuts.

Yeah, the courtside seats are weird because you, to me, the biggest problem is you don't have any place to put your beer. Yeah, and you put it down by your feet and you know you're going to kick it over. I'm going to spill it onto the fucking Warriors bench.

And the game's going to stop, and they're going to bring a guy with a towel and the camera's going to zoom in. And he'd be like, look at this alcoholic spilling his drink everywhere. Yeah, that's, that's a nightmare, that's the worst case, absolute nightmare. Uh, so when you were in New York, I the only question I have about SNL is, Was there any part of you? That was like, I'm not going to host it?

When they offered it to you because it would have, yeah, so you, you were like contemplating it. Because you're like, no, fuck you guys, I'm bigger than you guys, you're coming back to me now.

It was more of it's the funniest thing possible, right to say no. But then I realized I would have to publicly say they offered me and I said no.

And then no one would know it's not like they publicly offered it, right, you know? And that makes it corny to be like. They actually asked me, and I said, No, yeah, there's. You need that to be leaked somehow.

Yeah, we would have leaked it for you. Yeah, that happens again.

But it's, I don't know, there was. I was like joking about it, we'd be hanging out, I'd be like, it'd be so cool. If I didn't do it, I might not do it, and then back in my head, I was like, I'm definitely doing it, yeah.

I'm absolutely going to do that. Did they call? Did Lauren call you directly? No, so what?

They just reach out to you, Yeah, yeah, yeah, and and you were you like, this is a prank. At first, no, because I'd heard rumblings of it for a while, like a year.

Yeah, of like, they might ask you to host. It must have. Like, when you walked in the room, was it awkward at all? or were you just like, Hey guys, like, remember?

Yeah, day one was awkward, day one was very uncomfortable because it was offices that I hadn't been in since since then. Yeah, wait, I didn't, I didn't realize you would like.

Actually, did you do a full day of work there? I did. No, I didn't do any work. Yeah, it was just damage control.

Right, right, different offices, right? But yeah, I was in there a lot, you were in there.

Yeah, and so I was just sitting in offices where the worst thing, the worst thing possible, yeah, back, like, Hey, this is it.

Yeah, did you think about doing the the norm Macdonald joke in your monologue? Yes, a lot, but then I don't know. I think the best way to handle it is to just do comedy, yeah.

For me, like Norm got fired for making fun of O.J. right, his was a lot different. We can say Norm was right.

Norm was right. Yeah, yeah, dead right. we can publicly say Norm was right.

Yes, yes, and he was on the show and the fans there liked him. You know, if I got out there and I was like, Yeah, fuck this show, yeah, it'd look crazy.

And then I'd still have to do the show, right? Yeah, you'd be like, Fuck this show, like in the monologue, if I was like, Yeah, whatever, this show sucks.

I'm crazy and then I have to do sketches where I'm like, Yeah, did they sucks?

Like, how involved in the writing process did they let you? Because I know that you're you, like, write, sketch, comedy. I brought McKeever. Yeah, he's the one who does a majority of the writing.

Yeah, did you guys actually bring your own shit to them, or were you like, Hey, we're gonna do this? We brought a couple sketches, but day one was when we had to pitch them and it was a very uncomfortable day.

And then we got in a room with a bunch of the writers and we're like, here's some ideas we have. And we would tell the jokes and they would be like, we were immediately like, all right, we're not pitching anything else ever again. We suck, you guys are right.

Also, just use the good shit for yourself. Yeah, there's also that, yeah, there was a tweet.

One barstool employee, after your monologue, tweeted this Shane Gillis on SNL, saying Gay, retarded and cracker is exactly what we needed. Do you think? Is that tweet We saved America? That felt good?

Honestly, would you say that tweets more gay or retarded? I would say, that's, you know, who tweeted that, who?

Will Will Compton We're like, dude, it was. it was Will who was retarded.

Will was just like, Shane Gillis just saved America. Yeah, there was a lot of pressure on that fucking monologue, did you? So? The big question, though, is.

Hold on, there's one here, this one's my favorite. It's like Shane Gillis bringing back calling things gay and retarded on SNL, like we used to in middle school, and it's.

Oh shit, I'm airplane mode, it's the it's this Michigan fan. It's like, this shit means something to me, man.

Like a guy, crying like it means something to me. The the big question is, though, was there ever even, like, a small part of you that was like, Maybe I should do the bud dwyer, because you said you were going to do the bud dwyer?

Yeah, I said I was going to kill me. If I ever got back, I would say, live from my mouth, this fucking gun, kill myself. But obviously I don't want you to die.

I would have been the, Yeah, that would have been the coolest. But was there a small part of you? That's like, What if I did?

It's like, almost like getting on the top of a tall building, like, what if I jumped? Yeah, yeah, there's obviously I understand the.

I would be the coolest guy of all time. But if I got back on SNL and blew my head off on live television, that would be. That might be the biggest entertainment story of all time, it would be.

It'd be up there, right? I mean, Bud Dwyer was huge, yeah, and that was just some fucking guy.

Yeah, whatever he was, that would have, I mean, there was a small part of me watching it, being like he wouldn't mind.

I actually think I think they would have had to cancel it, like they would have canceled SNL. Yeah, yeah, no shit.

I canceled NBC, I think the entire Yeah, I got to, especially because you said you were going to do it too, you like, telegraphed it.

They're like, why wouldn't he let him on? There's no live television ever again for anyone. The gambling sketch you did felt very pointed. I that had nothing to do with me.

I didn't write that because I was, I was watching it live with my wife. She literally was just staring at me the entire time that sketch was going.

Yeah, she's like, huh? and I was like, what, what, what? Yeah, that was a good one, yeah.

I liked that, yeah, so I mean, yeah, you're your stuff is.

The stuff you guys you do with McKeever is incredible, and you have a new show coming on Netflix that you paid for yourself.

Yes, which is awesome. Yeah, so you were just like, fuck it.

I'm going to, I'm going to do this show, I don't want my friends to be in it. And like it, was there ever a doubt like you would get to this point where it's like, I can?

I can now bring all my friends along and pay for this shit. Well, the the reason I'm friends with them is like, they're good, all right.

You know, I have a bunch of friends that I didn't bring along.

Sass is like, listening to this right now. Francis, Oh, Nate, fuck you Nate. No, Francis is in it.

Francis is actually in it. Yeah, no, it wasn't like that. I mean, like these guys.

It's not like I'm bringing that, they're, they're great, like McKeever and the guy that's in it, who's like.

Actually, the main character is Steve Girvin and people are going to love him. He's as funny as it gets. Yeah, yeah.

It's easy, yeah, it's easy to work with those. Was it, was it?

Were you feeling like there's a big risk to fund it myself, or like, it's, I know it's going to be funny? No, because we did it with Gillian Keeves, I funded that.

Yeah, and it was like, we can just put it behind a paywall and I'll make, I'll at least make it back, right.

Or close to make it back right. And then with me, it's easy, because if we put all these sketches out, even if I didn't make the money back.

It'll result in ticket sales, right? And I'll make the money back, yeah, right.

That way, it's also nice to just run it yourself. So nobody, yeah, has any chance of telling you, like, Hey, take this out.

Don't do this, yeah, or, like, get embarrassed if somebody doesn't like one of the sketches that you do. Yeah, that's a nice bit of freedom.

That that's hard, that was hard about SNL is having zero creative control, really, right?

Because I never work with other people, right? It's always me and my friends. Or stand up, yeah, it's.

I don't, I really am not trying to be this guy. Being like, you beat the system, but have you had that thought?

Like, I kind of beat the system because, like, now it's like, Netflix is like, Oh yeah, we want to put your show on SNL's, inviting you back, like all this stuff.

That's, I think that's a lot of your story arc, where people are drawn to you because, like, you beat the system, you did it your way, yeah.

And and people ride for an underdog like that. I think, though, now that is the system. Yeah, now it's you're right.

That just is the system now. If you want to do comedy, it's like, you kind of got to make it yourself, yeah.

Yeah, it's like, we're talking to STAVI about that. Yeah, STAVI's another guy doing your own thing and having all that control.

It's really the way to go. Stavi also, I don't know if you heard the episode he did with us, but he's obviously a big Baltimore Ravens he's in.

He's in tires. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot.

Yeah, yeah, he, he. He had his brain set on the Ravens winning the Super Bowl on his birthday this year. And then it took him like a week to process the loss. He's just locked up in his apartment or his house in Baltimore.

Just eating ice cream all day, like just in the dark. Thank you, he didn't need that fucking Ravens loss to eat all that ice cream. I'm so depressed.

I think we were the first people to talk to him. We had him on on like the Thursday after they lost. Yeah, he was having fun this season, yeah.

Yeah, he was like the face of the Ravens, I know. It kind of became that it built up to this point where he was dead certain that his birthday. They were going to win the Super Bowl.

Then he was going to party with the team and become best friends with everyone. Then when they lost, just it crushed him. If you're anything like Max, who's also an Eagles fan, how's that Nova? They're actually coming back.

He's 37.

Dude, I told you, yeah, we're good out of game, we're good.

Out of game, Max Max was not that same way. When the Eagles lost, he saw that coming like a mile away. As an Eagles fan. Were you like, did you have any hope this season, this year?

No, yeah, I mean, when they were 10 and one, I was like, Yeah, fuck.

We're doing it again. 10 and one. Yeah, it was way different than last year, though last year they were fucking, or the year before they were fucking people.

It was like, magical. Yeah, yeah, this year was very like struggling a lot, that was obvious.

Yeah, but then, you know they get in the playoffs, you're like, Hey, maybe there's magic, yeah.

Maybe they got a chance, I think I bet on them against the Bucs. I was like, they've been there, It's like, So fucking stupid, it's like.

Yeah, you've seen, the writing was on the wall, with that, they were falling apart.

The entire the second half of the season was crazy. Soon as they lost Big Dom, it was over, yeah.

Big Dom was what kept it all together. He's the man, yeah, the uh, so, all right, so eagles. The one thing that I feel like you have a cheat code. To most comedians, maybe I'm wrong, but a lot of comedians aren't like huge sports fans.

Is that I feel like that's fair? Like, Yeah, for sure, obviously. Bill Burr is a huge sports fan.

We have him when we have, or we have him on. He just like rants about sports or like, Yeah, great, didn't you have something to plug?

But you get like, I feel like all the all the athletes are like, drawn to you because you're like. I'm a huge sports fan. I talk about sports in my set. Yeah, like all these guys can relate to me, yeah.

It's nice, no other comics really talk about playing football, right right? Everybody played high school football.

And you get to, like, just eat it all up. Yeah, it's nice, it's fucking sick, it's easy.

Every city you go to, it's like, Oh, there's the entire offensive line. yeah, it's always the other line that feels good, it's always out.

Love seeing the big dudes. Yeah, you played it, was it? Elon? Yeah.

You played at Elon, I played one year, I sucked. what was that like? Playing there? It was awesome.

Other than getting my fucking ass kicked every day. Yeah, it was a cool school it is, so I've heard a good thing.

I had a bunch of friends that went there because I grew up in Virginia. So like the the good athletes, if they don't get into, like Virginia, tech doesn't hit them. Yeah, like, Elon's a good place to go, but like, did you start there?

No, I went well, pretty much. Yeah. I went to Army for three weeks, okay, which is hilarious because your your story about quitting Army is like the most relatable story ever.

Because I just like, if I had, if you put me in West Point for a week, I'd be like, I want to go home right now. Dude, I quit. Did I ever tell you that with a parade? No, all right.

So day one, when you get to West Point, they drop you, like your parents, drop you off at like five in the morning you go through. It's called our day, I think, and so that's where they like, shave your head, give you fucking uniform, teach you how to march. And then, at the end of the day, all the parents lined the road and all the new the cadets march past them.

So they see their kids becoming soldiers. And my mom was waving like a little American flag, and I was like marching past him, and I was like, I'm leaving, I'm quitting.

Right when I got past him, I was like, I'm fucking quitting, I'm out of here, I hate it. My mom was like, I just watched her lower her flag.

Was it like, day one, you got there and you're like, Uh, I knew I was. I don't think I knew. I was fucked. Like, three months before I got there, I was like, Damn, I'm fucked. On this. They gave you like, you know, any football program gives you like a workout program for the summer. Didn't touch it.

Gains fucking 40 pounds. Did you get your head shaved? Yeah, Oh, I still have to get my head.

I got sworn into the military. You got to swear in. So you were sitting, you were like, flash forward, like three weeks, and you're sitting in your parents basement with your head shaved. Being like, that happened. No, it was, uh, I had to go straight to Elon. Oh, okay.

Cause I quit you, I was. It was early enough at West Point. Bootcamp starts early before preseason football, so I got, I got to leave Bootcamp to go to fucking preseason.

Oh, okay, so that's the least summer. No, that blew. That was way harder than fucking West Point. Do you, uh, when you watch, like the Army Navy game, do you find yourself rooting for Army?

Uh, no, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. Yeah. At first I was, there was still a part of me that I was like, Yeah, that's part of the make a friend.