#1983 - Kim Congdon & Sara Weinshenk
2023-05-10 03:17:20
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
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Hey, we're going with Hi ladies, hi, what's happening? what's up? Good to see you.
Class of zero, What number were you guys of? Kill Tony? You guys are class of one.
We were ogs, yeah.
The real OGS.
Yeah.
Isn't it wild to see what it's become now? I mean, it's literally like the number one live comedy show ever.
It's insane.
It's insane. We started so long ago. That's where we met her and I, yeah, we met, and we've been working together ever since.
Yeah, so.
I've said it before, but I'll say it again, Tony's the greatest host of any comedy show ever.
I know he's the best, he does really good.
Nobody's better off the cuff, off the cuff.
Amazing, he's so fast, he's so quick.
We owe a lot to him, I feel like, because he really helped us get our start. We learned a lot from being on that show.
Well, yeah, being on kill Tony. When we started, we were like babies. That's where we met you, that's where we met.
I opened for Ralphie Mae because of that, I think Bobby Lee.
Wow, yeah, you opened up for me too in Florida.
Yeah, you.
When that started, I remember thinking, what a fun thing he's doing. It's kind of fun. Yeah, just go do a minute of stand up. It's a nice way for comics to get a chance to think about comedy, too.
Yeah.
Why is this guy funny? What is this? Sometimes people are just funny, and it's weird, weird mannerism. Theo Vaughn, Right?
Try putting that down.
So funny.
Put that down on paper.
You can't.
Imagine you could never.
My cousin got bit by a gay guy, so we'll see.
Write that down.
It's true.
If somebody wrote jokes for you, you hired them.
He writes some jokes for me, like, Bro, I got you.
Theo Vaughn is like how Trader Joe's makes snacks.
How does trader Joe's?
It's just like popcorn, but it's also like a chicken salad. You're like, what? But it works, and you're like, I love this.
That's hilarious. I didn't know about Trader Joe's snacks.
Trader Joe's They say that the food at Trader Joe's seems like it's Trader Joe's. Was made by an alien who didn't really fully understand grocery stores. All the food is like, really weird, it's just like weird combinations.
Yeah, no, they have like this. It's like sweet, sour, salty, something, popcorn. It's four different experiences. They got to get it streamlined.
It's made by Chet GPT, for sure.
Either savory or sweet, don't mix it all up like that.
Yeah, what are you trying to do to people?
TJ's.
Yeah, I try to eat healthy for the most part, but when we were in New York this past weekend, we went to the Bronx.
I saw that sandwich, Oh my god.
We ate this place, G&R deli, holy shit, it was insane.
I saw that sandwich, I sent that sandwich to my mom, and she called me. She said. The sandwich that Joe Rogan just ate looked amazing.
We got to go.
We drove to the Bronx just to go to that place. It's crazy. We went like an hour out of our way because we were staying in Manhattan. Then we had to drive to the Bronx and then go from the Bronx to the fights that were in Newark. We went, like, just to go to that sandwich shop just because I saw it on Instagram.
Yeah, the picture was one of the best I've ever seen.
It was pretty amazing.
He's quick.
Anyway.
Yeah, I love to take a detour for food. I did something really fat the other day.
Tell us.
Did something fat.
Can we say fat?
Yeah, you can.
She means ph fat, uh-oh.
Uh-oh, sounds like we're in trouble.
Did you see that guy got in trouble for just saying something? Be lizzo sized.
No.
Yeah, didn't that happen, Jamie? Didn't some sportscaster get in trouble? Oh my God, I'm terrible.
I've been in trouble for a few things recently.
Terrible.
I've never made one of those, to be honest.
Every now and then you look like a hero, yeah.
Yeah.
It's funny when you miss.
Well, it's different because you can't say Kobe now. It just makes everyone sad and that changes the shot.
Well, when I grew up in Boston, everybody would say, Larry Bird, really, yeah.
That's such a longer name to say.
Yeah, but it was like Larry Bird was the fucking man in 1980.
Right, look at that, get the fuck out of here.
That's sickening, it's so good.
Totally not good for you. Let's just get that out of the way. I'll do it again, it doesn't matter once a week.
For the rest of my life, I think it's just one of those things. You really shouldn't eat like that every day because you won't be able to stop. First of all, you'll be a full-on addict, and you'll be consuming 40 or 50 times more calories than you actually need.
Do you always give yourself a break, or do you ever go super strict and go like, no snacks, nothing good? Yeah, tell us your regimen.
No, no, no, there's no super strict diet.
Everything in moderation.
Yeah, I did one month, I did the carnivore diet very strict for one month to see what it was like. I lost a lot of fat, but it was boring. I like food.
I like fat.
And a lot of meat like that.
I like these people, I like their food, their culture.
Yeah, it's an experience. I like food.
Yeah, I like Vietnamese food, I like Thai food, I like food.
Food's the best, It's almost the best reason to travel is to try the different foods.
It's a great reason to travel, travel is awesome, but travel, and then eating people's food, eating Thai food in Thailand was fucking amazing.
We gotta go.
Thailand's awesome.
We wanna go.
You guys should go and do some fucking muay thai, let's go.
I know I know you can get into that, you're a mean girl. Oh, no, I stopped.
You can fucking check out.
I got a concussion and I stopped.
I got scared she's in her soft girl era. Yeah, that's good.
Don't do concussions.
No, she's a soft girl now, Joe.
Did you see Mark Zuckerberg won a gold medal in a Brazilian jiu-jitsu competition?
No.
Mark Zuckerberg is a fucking savage.
Can you imagine?
This dude has been training jiu-jitsu. This is what he did. He wore a Covid mask and he fucking put a hat on and he hid.
No.
And he used the alias.
Imagine you're right about to compete and maybe your first competition, well, just give it a try. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Worst thing that could happen is you get strangled by a super nerd in front of the whole world. I mean, that Zuckerberg is so embarrassing.
He's awesome, I'm very proud of him. That's wild. I think it's amazing. It's amazing that he did that.
There are a few people who have done that, Mario Lopez did that.
What's his name?
Tom Bain.
Tom Hardy Tom Hardy did that, Tom Hardy did that a couple of times.
Hot, Undeniable, undeniable.
He's a human warrior.
Hot as fuck, hot as fuck, you know what? He could be listening to this? I just realized that.
It's possible. Tom Hardy I'm not going to do that, but you know what I mean?
Tom Hardy, you could DM me, Tom Hardy, you got the green light? I said, Yes, DM me, mommy.
He was awesome, he was a warrior. I bought it, I bought it. Hook, line and sinker. There's certain dudes that can just be they become different.
People like he was a different person, that Venom movie, it's like you believed he was that sort of clumsy character in the Venom movie that got infected by an alien.
He's incredible just to pull that off, you know how hard it is to pull off. You're doing a movie with CGI, there's a CGI alien that comes out of you, a giant spider creature.
It's a different place you have to go in your mind at that point. But he actually pulled it off and he does it. Yeah, it was good.
See, he's got look at that gold medal. wow, wow, dude's fucking jacked.
Wow.
Strong like a fool, there's a blue belt.
We're both just sitting there.
Blue belts, too, that's like, by the time you get to Blue Belt, you're dealing with people that know how to submit people. It's just whether or not they can keep it together smoothly. And there's various levels of that. And when you get to tournaments, you get like, a lot of the levels are like the guys are really should be a purple belt.
They're really purple belt level, some instructors are stingy. So for him to win blue belt, it's very possible. He had, like, real skilled opposition, not like black belt opposition, but they know how to do shit.
For sure.
Look at Zuckerberg strangling bitches. Actually, that's pretty hot.
Zuckerberg If you're listening, my DMs are open.
He knows your DMs are open, you just fucking read them.
He's in them.
He doesn't even need the FBI.
He already heard us and this hasn't aired.
Your fucking phone is lighting up. Every time his name gets mentioned, it goes into a file. I'm super, I think that's amazing. I love when people like just he doesn't have to do anything, he's one of the richest people on earth.
And he just takes a chance and tries to get good at this thing and then goes and competes in this thing. We should all celebrate that, that's amazing.
But that's probably why he's one of the richest guys on earth, because he just goes for it, commits, he's focused, he's streamlined.
You should be like an Instagram motivational speaker. I will. I feel like what you just said, right? There was sternation.
He just goes for it.
He commits.
Yeah, that's the thing, you just got to be that kind of person. Some people just that's their big problem, they don't know what to go for, so they kind of get stalled in the parking lot.
Like, which direction?
Where do I go? Because they don't have me giving them motivational speeches. You need a little shanky in your ear.
Shanky in your ear? Okay, I like something besides shanky in your ear, though I like shanky in your ear.
Shanky in your ear.
Actually, that's a great name for a podcast.
Shanky in your ear.
Yeah, it's good, right?
It does make me laugh.
It's got a catchy ring to it.
Shanky in your ear.
Yeah, if you ever want to do a fucking solo spinoff, and then we got to do the Kim Kardashian, remember when Kiss did a spinoff?
Yeah.
Kiss had like, I don't know if you remember this, Do you remember this?
They did a show.
No, kiss, kiss the band.
Yeah, I thought they did a reality show.
I'm sure they did that, too.
They did.
But they all released their own albums, like Peter Criss had his solo album.
Yeah, yeah.
Bill Stanley had his solo album, Oh shit, Gene Simmons had his solo album, Ace Frehley had his solo album, and they all just sort of competed with each other.
Do you want us to break up? I'm not saying that.
I'm saying, if we have shanky in your ear.
He's saying, Shanky in your ear is Beyonce and I'm Michelle.
You do your podcast together and then you get another one on the side.
I have shank.
Yeah, she has a podcast, Shank, it's called Shank, Yeah.
Why not shanky in your ear?
I guess I could rebrand.
Actually, Rogan and I had a conversation. The podcast is Shanky in your ear now.
People who like it now are mad. Shut up, shut up. It's terrible advice. it is terrible advice.
Don't listen to me.
It's funny for now.
I need to start my own podcast.
But like your mom's house, like names like that, they just stick, yeah.
You know, yeah.
There are certain good names like Caller Daddy, it's a great name.
We love our name, but it took us a second.
We had an issue, we had a bad podcast name, and we kept having to say it.
And we would get embarrassed.
Bad.
It was bad, what was it?
You say it, Kim.
Don't look at me.
I'll say it, I'll say it, don't wait. I want to take my ears off sticky Kimmy and Shank.
Okay, can we move on? That's not that bad.
That's horrible, that's gonna be horrible, Jamie. It's not the worst.
Jamie, How bad is it?
But now it's this bitch, you've done a much better job.
But now it's this bitch, and that's so much better.
This bitch is perfect.
Well, that's what we say to each other all the time. This bitch, I love saying that.
I love saying this bitch, this bitch is one of the most fun things to say, like this bitch. Say it to your friends when they say something nuts.
It is.
You know how many times I've said that to Tony Hinchcliffe?
We've got to get Joe our tote bag.
We've got a this bitch tote bag. oh, please get me one of those and a sweatshirt.
We've got to get you a this bitch sweatshirt, I'll wear that shit.
I'll wear that shit, I will 100 wear that shit, we say it all the time.
Yeah, it's a great thing to say, it's a great thing to say.
Yeah, and we get it on each other's nerves, so we'll be like this bitch.
It's kind of amazing, actually, that nobody else had a podcast called This Bitch.
Wow, you guys caught that, we caught it.
That's a good one to catch.
Well, after we had to say Thicky, Kimmy and Shank four times, it started haunting us like bloody Mary. We're like talking to people here, like, we're not doing one more ounce of work until we rename this podcast.
And it was bad. We were like, talking to sponsors and they're like, Okay, so what's the name? I'm like, Um.
We didn't know exactly what we did here. We were like, you tell them, there's been so many embarrassing things that we've done throughout the years.
Of course, but that's the beautiful thing is that you can learn on the air.
Yeah.
It gives people a chance to get good at something that wouldn't have got the chance. So if you were going to host a show on CBS or NBC, they'll give you a little bit of time. Like, you know, Sarah's the next big thing, we're going to give her the Sarah show. Hi everybody.
Like, Ellen, you'd be like, Sarah, yeah.
Whoa?
They'll give you a chance they might give an upcoming talent. But if it doesn't go well at first and they lose sponsors or the ratings dip, cut, what else we got? Oh God.
Dancing for dollars? Whatever the fuck they can put on there, that's going to make money.
Yeah.
But with the internet, you can sort of fuck around and find your thing, find your voice.
Yeah.
And it's amazing because the barrier to entry is pretty fucking small. Like, in comparison, like they're fucked studios, camera trucks and fucking lighting and trust in this, and grips and everything. It's like every show that gets made by Hollywood, so much money just to put it on. We just do it and get better at it, yeah.
Yeah, it's amazing, it is, it really is.
Even like during the pandemic, I would just be talking by myself in the room, I'm like, if I was going to have a threesome by myself. Because we didn't know if we could hang out with people.
Well, the good news is, Alexa was listening.
And your boyfriend, Mark?
Oh yeah, my boyfriend Mark hears everything.
So you're talking to yourself with him in the same place.
I was talking to myself, like, just trying to buy up time on a 45-minute solo pod.
Oh.
And I started talking about cartoon threesomes because I'm straight out of content. I'm like, Okay, Betty boop, would Felix the cat?
I think that's a particularly unique muscle that, like Bill Burr has and Tim Dillon has, yes, and Giannis Poppins has. There's people that can just rant about a subject.
And go all really good at that.
And find themselves solo.
Yeah, that's hard to do. Yeah, no, and you know what?
It makes your stand-up so much better, and it makes your podcasting better. If you could just talk by yourself, it makes you feel mentally ill. When you're done, you don't even recognize yourself.
Oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah, that's so funny.
Yeah, the pandemic was a moment.
Yeah, Kim lived another life.
The Zoom shows I left, I went to Florida and partied.
Zoom shows were wild, they were like, why didn't anybody tell you not to do that? Yeah, don't do that.
Don't do that, no, I didn't do one Zoom show.
I did one Zoom show and I think about it every now and then. It haunts me.
It was like, I was just like, why are we doing this? It's too much, it's too weird. If we're all stuck, let's not do stand-up then for a little bit.
How about that? I thought it was such junkies, though.
Yeah.
You know what? The weirdest thing was late-night talk shows where they're doing them from their webcam.
Oh, and nobody was laughing.
No one was laughing. It's so nuts.
I was like, Why are we watching this?
It's like someone practicing new jokes, it's like if you had a friend who wanted to run some ideas by you.
No.
I would let them you wouldn't do that for your friend.
If it was my friend, yeah, a comic friend. okay, yeah, yeah.
They go, listen, this is just an exercise I'm trying to do. I wrote these premises down and I'm going to say that was what it was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
It was like, What happens if Walmart closes all their stores in San Francisco? Does that suck?
And you'd be like, That one sucks. Yeah, we could just go over them.
My apples taste like clorox, it's like, stop wiping your groceries with bleach.
This is looking sad. It was a sad time.
It was a weird time, right?
You know what? I actually really enjoyed staying home. And just like me and my sister started baking. And we bought a bow and arrow. And then she almost killed a bird, and we never did it again. She just pulled out. She's like a prodigy.
She just pulled it out, we just put it together. We're like figuring it out. It's like going in the ground for me. She shoots it once, almost gets it right in the middle.
She's like, Oh, okay, she pulls it out. We see a bird as a joke. I go kill it, and she goes and clips its wing and a feather flies off and it keeps going.
And we both were like, and then we just put it down and we were like, we're going to go inside.
Maybe you're like a natural born archer, maybe this is like a movie.
Not Irish.
People just give her the bow and they're like, Oh my God, how long have you done this for? That's actually the third time I ever did it.
That's what it looked like.
And then they just go, Oh my god, she's a natural. It's like Paul Newman in that movie about baseball.
She's the rain man of Archery, yes.
Imagine.
You just have a natural gift. Oh yeah, I don't know if I can do this. Like in another life, you were an archer.
That's so cool. During the pandemic, I got a mini trampoline. I was just bouncing at my parents house in their backyard. Whoa, that's a lot.
I was like, I'm going to live stream on the trampoline, I'm going to live stream and hula hoop. I'm going to just trying to keep myself busy. I was very mentally ill to be live streaming and hula hooping.
It was tough on everyone.
Yeah.
It was tough, I was in the live watching.
Tough as a country. There were some moments where I didn't know if I was ever going to do standup again, me too. In the beginning, in the early days, when we hadn't done it for months, I was like, maybe this is it, maybe this is the new world.
Maybe standup is gone, because back then you didn't really know how deadly is this going to be.
Yeah.
Everybody was really worried that it was going to get worse. Yeah, there was a lot of weirdness going on. There was people that had it and nothing happened to them, people that had it and got fucked up.
What is this? Standup is not worth it, let's not do standup. I remember I canceled one of the last shows, I think it was the improv.
We were supposed to do a show at the Improv the day the comic store was shutting down, the day everything was shutting down. I was like, maybe we shouldn't do this. This feels like, if we're going to shut down tomorrow, why are we open tonight? What's happening?
Yeah, are we in danger if we go out? Is this fucking stupid?
There's something about comedy and comics where they fucking need it. They're like just one last one before we go.
One last one before we die.
I don't know, I don't really feel that way. I love standup, it's my favorite thing in the world to do, but I didn't feel like I was needed.
I did window sets, I did window sets at the comedy store in the window, like a little sad dog at a pet shop.
I looked like a whore in the window, people were throwing money at the window.
It took me a good solid two and a half years to not freak out when someone sneezes, Oh.
Yeah, I'm still sensitive about it.
Now, if someone coughs and sneezes, you're like, eh?
No, now people still look. If someone coughs, the whole room looks up, and that used to not happen.
But it's not the same. Look up like we're all in danger.
Yeah.
I was in an elevator with a guy who was coughing in Vegas. In the heart of it, this old dude was coughing. He was like, Jesus Christ, I'm holding my breath on the elevator. It was like an exercise.
I'm like, I want to hold my breath.
That's how I used to do school when I was younger.
You'd just hold your breath for once again.
I would, instead of paying attention, I would just watch the clock and try to beat my last record. Oh.
During the pandemic, did you see Jamar? Jamar had on like big goggles? And he went to the CVS and he got kicked out of the CVS because he had on like snorkeling gear.
How come you can't do that? I think you can do that, you know what? someone told me?
That's so funny.
Someone told me that you catch respiratory viruses from your eyeballs. Is that true?
Ugh.
I don't know, but you know what? Someone told me that their grandpa got stung in the eye by a bee and it cured his diabetes.
What that sounds like some folklore, what are you talking about? That sounds like some fucking Appalachia.
Beekeepers live longer than like the average person because they get stung and stuff. Where did you learn this? And if you have Lyme disease, there's people that take bees and they put it into their backs and it helps all their symptoms. There's something about bee stings.
I have heard people getting a positive benefit from bee stings, but I think it was arthritis.
Don't come for me, Big pharma. They cut my throat because I talked about the bees. I keep forgetting that there's a—.
I'm watching this new Netflix thing called—What is it, Chimp Empire? is that what it's called? Before I get too far with the viral infection of Lyme through the eye, can you?
You can, that makes sense. Pathogens that are known agents of ocular infections, such as HSV. Wow, what's?
HSV often cause severely impaired vision and blindness viral infection of the lungs through the eye. Holy fuck.
I'm going to start wearing goggles.
So in that case, they should have left Jamar alone because he was doing a smart thing.
Yeah.
He was wearing goggles to avoid fucking evil shit. And you can keep your eyes covered.
I bet there's some sort of paperwork that says that the people with glasses get less viral infections than other people.
I bet my favorite was the people with the shield, but then you could reach under the shield and say, Hey, buddy. It's like a cat hiding under the bed with its tails out there. What are you doing?
My favorite video was just someone going outside with a mask on in the winter and blowing, and it was just all the air you could see. With the mask on still going, you could see exactly where a breath would go. It's so stupid, and it was just everywhere and muffled.
It's so weird, it's so weird that we went through that for that long.
Yeah.
But we learned along the way, see like nobody knew, like, why doesn't a mask work? Like in the beginning? It seems like a smart thing to do, and plus it makes people feel better, like you're doing the right thing.
We're all just trying to be safe. But at a certain point in time, most people should have figured out that doesn't really work. Like, you can't have a bandana on and stop a fucking deadly virus, you can't have a face shield on.
We love face shields.
Like, where's that air coming from, bitch?
Face shield.
You don't even have a filter on your face.
The face shield was rough.
It was weird.
And when I saw someone with a face shield, I didn't know what to make of them. The first face shield I saw in the wild. I was like, Oh, shit.
Reggie Watts had this hilarious getup that we ordered a couple of them, these fucking things. It was a space helmet, and you put a space helmet on and you cinch it up to your neck, and it's got like filters inside and everything.
And it cools you off, too.
What like a fan?
So there's a little fan in there.
I like that.
I'm into that. Isn't there a fan in there? You know, I don't, I will say.
Yeah, there's a fan in there. Yeah, here's Reggie, look at this.
Mask, you know, like.
Reggie was traveling on airplanes with this.
No, yes, well, I would like that, because I do feel like airplanes make you really sick.
Well, if there really was an issue, like a real serious issue, here's a question. Like, if there's some fucking evil alien virus, there's no known cure.
Yeah.
Are you going to walk around with that on?
No, I'm going outside.
I'm going.
Are you going to just take it in?
I'm going.
I'm actually going to rhinestone mine, I get that and I glitter it up.
Yeah, like a hot girl on a motorcycle. Yeah, I make it my own.
Yeah, I get it.
I get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I don't know, it's just like, who knows? Yeah, I was nervous when it happened, but now if something happens again, I won't take it seriously.
I wonder what's going to happen? Yeah, did they cry, wolf?
Yeah, they cried, wolf on my ass.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
But nobody knew in the beginning, right? That's the thing like everybody always wants to point to, like, this person's got it wrong or that person, but nobody fucking knew in the beginning. The thing is.
There was so much like guesswork.
There's always a threat. If it's not that, it's climate change. If it's not climate change, it's homicides. If it's not homicides, it's something else. There's always a worry.
Yeah, yeah.
It's never going to be perfect.
I saw the nicest sticker the other day on a gas station, the grossest gas station ever. I was terrified. And when I got out, it was just a sticker that said, Think of something beautiful. And I was like, That's kind of the nicest sticker I've ever seen. It's not corny and it is really nice.
And it kind of helps.
Isn't that sweet? She's in her soft girl era, I told you.
I think the mushrooms are kicking in.
You know what I hate?
I hate when Kim takes mushrooms because then she won't let me talk shit about guys. She'll be like, he's just a man.
Yeah, she'll call me and I'll be like, Well, maybe he went through something.
And I'll be like, Oh, you're on mushrooms.
Yeah, it stops the gossip from me.
We're all just people and I go, Okay, yeah, that's true.
It is true. Imagine if everybody was on mushrooms and that was just the prevalent attitude.
Yeah, you wouldn't care if you've been wronged.
Isn't it crazy that, as a mass experiment, if everybody just took a minor dose, what do you want, that stuff? Yeah, let's see what that is on the air.
Okay, put that away, okay, Jesus Christ.
Going to get us all in trouble.
No, it's nothing.
If there was legal psilocybin and it was regulated, so you knew what it was, it's tested safe doses.
Yeah, and everybody decided to take it all at once.
Everybody, the whole country.
That would be beautiful, you know what happened?
A bunch of dudes who are criminals would say they were going to take it and then wait and rob everybody while they're on mushrooms. It'd be the worst case of love doesn't find a way.
It's a great movie. They convince everyone about world peace, but it's actually just a trick.
And they just rob everybody blind, they break into the stock exchange and fucking clean out all the bitcoin.
Damn, and it's just like the worst trip ever.
It sounds like a Guy Ritchie movie.
It's great.
I'm watching.
Cut that out, keep it.
Maybe not all at once, but if it was available to everybody and they realized the benefits, especially like a micro dose, it's just perspective enhancing benefits. It helps so many fucking soldiers.
So many guys get back and experience combat.
They're all fucking racked by all sorts of emotions and thoughts and lost friends. And that in MDMA seems to, really.
I was just going to say, I had a roommate in L.
A Who did MDMA? She did like a weekend camp therapy with only children of childhood trauma, and she came back like a different person.
Wow.
And she said It literally changed her life.
Well, they know that it's, you know, whatever it does, that that experience of letting go of all your inhibitions, and.
Yeah.
For some people, it can sort of just reset the way you see the world. Yeah, so for soldiers, for so many people that have experienced violence like that, is so important for them. Like the bike, why won't?
Why don't we make that available? That could literally help the world? And through Maps, you know, Maps is doing those studies with with soldiers, and they're all very promising. It's very interesting stuff, but they're doing it the right way and they're doing it. You know, I love politics.
And because Joe, then we can't gossip.
They need us to gossip, that's how they control us.
When I did MDMA, I fell in love with the P.
E teacher for 24 hours, 24 hours, I got this p..e.
Teacher.
Yeah.
When you sober up, you know, maybe it wasn't love.
What would the world be like if, you know, I mean, think about how many people that are on various medications, what would the world be like if? They just came up with something and called it like, Calm? And it was a micro dose MDMA that everybody took all day long.
Wow.
So everybody is like, almost like they're tripping, almost like they're rolling all day long. Everyone's nice to everyone, everyone's lovely, everyone's friendly.
People are giving you hugs.
They want everyone to do well, I want you to be happy, everybody wants you to do well, imagine.
Imagine.
Those two things.
I love that.
We talked about psilocybin and MDMA, they're real, we're not making this up. Yeah, like fake things that, you know, some people have talked about on internet forums, but they're not real.
They're real and they're illegal. It's like, that alone should make us go, what the fuck? When is that going to change?
How are they illegal? But like, Delta, that weird.
Delta 9..
Is legal like, how is that a thing?
I don't know, that's a weird high.
I haven't smoked it.
It's like a neighbor of weed, It's like I'm weed's neighbor. Let me tell you what.
Come on in.
It's like weed will be here soon.
Will it? It doesn't seem like it has any of the ideas that weed has. Yeah, it's like it just repeats weed's ideas. It doesn't do such a good job of telling them.
Well, one time, when he was 13, his stepdaddy was a real piece of shit.
Oh, weed makes you uncomfortable. Yeah, you don't want to stay for Delta, it makes you uncomfortable.
It makes me like, it's just it's an odd, it's an odd thing. It's weird that they can do that, though it's weird that that's legal.
Yeah.
I bought weed one time in Harlem from this guy. Can I say that?
Back then, it was probably illegal.
Yeah, no, I mean, this was probably three years ago.
When did it get legal in New York?
Recently, so it was probably illegal, then still criminal. Yeah, I was doing bad things.
A bad bitch.
But I had always bought from this guy and I was right before I recorded my podcast. This was when I was living in New York. And I rolled a joint of it and I smoked it with me, my co-host, our guest, all the producers. And then, while we were smoking it, like before, the joint was even done. I was like, I'm done. And then I was like, we should do a new segment and we should rap, and everybody's like, what? and I was like, we should like, start rap.
I think it would be a good idea if we started. We became like a rap thing and then I just started going off about rap. And I was like, going crazy. And then when we got on, I was like, we have to start the show now because we have to do this thing before the idea goes. And I started getting crazy and then I'm like, breathing all heavy and my heart's racing.
And one of the producers, who is like, Does a lot of drugs? literally said into the mic. I'm the highest I've ever been. And then that's when it hit me that I was like the weed, like there was, this is not me. Like, I realized something happened and we were on air already, I was pulling up rap lyrics and dancing to them.
It's those joints that they sprinkle the THC crystals on.
I know exactly what it was.
What was it?
Okay, I after I came down and had them almost call an ambulance on because then I freaked out. On the podcast, I cried, I was like I was. We were looking up the symptoms of fentanyl on the podcast, No.
Yes, because I was like, it could be fentanyl. I've never felt like this on weed. And then I looked at the bag and there was a little bit of cocaine in the bag that he sold me the weed in, so I had smoked.
Crack, basically crack.
And did a podcast, a full podcast, trying to be a rapper.
So you would have been a rapper if you had done crack 100, 100, 100%.
I think I would also be a rapper if I did crack.
Rhyme Shank.
That was my nickname for a while.
Rhyme Shank, I like it.
I was rhyming and I was like, Yeah, no one could be around me.
Make sure your weed dealer doesn't also deal coke and reuse the baggies.
Imagine if there's like certain drugs that make you want to do certain activities, it's like crack and rap. Or just like, you know, if you have, like, some lost kid from the suburbs, all of a sudden he starts rapping.
Well, yeah, I smoke weed because I'm a comedian. I feel like if I would have drank more, I would have been like, like a mom, someone would have gotten me pregnant already.
There's a lot of funny comedians that are drunks.
That's true, that's true. I feel like we all smoke weed, most of us.
A lot of us, it's comedy steroids.
Yeah, it really is.
It puts you in like a different state of mind.
That's like what Brody would say. He was like, 90 of comedians smoke weed, 90 and the rest they're not funny.
I've gotten some calls from people that, like, we used to be like, super straight laced. And then when it became legal in California, like 2016, people are like, Oh, it's fucking legal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe a gummy will help me go to sleep.
Yeah.
They started asking me questions like, What's the difference between Sativa and Indica?
They text you at 420.
You're like, dude.
Come on, fucking rookie.
Come on, man, we're smoking out of apples and shit.
I was that rookie at one point in time, too.
We all were, Yeah, we all were.
In the beginning, you can't believe people don't know about pot. When you first start smoking weed, you're like, How is everybody not doing this?
When I first started smoking weed is when I started dating this white hippie dude that had dreadlocks from Portland. No, this was different. And all we would do is get high and eat pies. And I think I gained like 15 pounds because I was just smoking weed with him and eating pies.
Do you guys know the story of Jack Harrow?
Oh, the.
The emperor wears no clothes.
The Hemp guy Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The Emperor, Yeah.
He's a famous marijuana activist and researcher, and he wrote this book. This guy was like a Goldwater Republican and then met this lady and they were smoking a little marijuana together, hanging out. And like, all of a sudden he gets it and he goes, Oh my God, this is good for you. Like, this is like, he has all these revelations about it, and then he goes into the history because he's a very smart guy.
He says, like, how did this happen? And he starts delving into the history of, you know, Harry Anslinger and William Randolph Hearst. And they conspired to make it look like there was this new drug that was causing all these Mexican guys, excuse me.
I thought that was, I thought that was that the drugs were doing.
I wish they were saying that it was causing Mexicans and Black men to rape white women. They were writing stories about this, and then they came up with the Reefer Madness, propaganda films and all this, calling it marijuana.
They tried to emmett till weed.
Yes, that's right.
Marijuana was like a slang for Mexican wild tobacco it had nothing to do with.
That's why, sorry to cut you off, but that's why I have. Like one of my Black friends told me that Black community likes to call it cannabis, not marijuana, because it's associated. Marijuana is associated with that negativity.
Really, yeah.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the word marijuana. I think it's a cute name. Marijuana sounds good. Yeah, my daughter smoked some marijuana.
But I also like cannabis, too. It's like the names are important, what's important is like, that people like this, Jack Haragai see if you pull up that book.
It's a very good book where he talks about. He actually had this video that they had made in. Like the World War One or World War Two, it was hemp for victory, and it was telling farmers to grow marijuana.
Like marijuana, like the plant, marijuana is also hemp.
Yeah.
Right, so what marijuana is is a psychoactive female version of a very similar plant. So now they've kind of engineered hemp, so it doesn't have any THC in it, you can't smoke the hemp.
But that hemp is what they were fighting, they weren't really fighting marijuana, they were fighting hemp. Because it's a superior textile, it makes the best, most durable clothes, it makes a far superior paper.
You could use it to build houses with.
Why doesn't everybody use hemp then?
It should be.
Why not the switchover?
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