#2168 - Tyler Fischer

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No, it's all mono. What's crackin' brother?

Oh yeah, let me just get a little confidence here. I'm so small, this is like a large coffee to me.

They'll make you pee, they'll make you pee. That's one thing Nespresso's do.

I'm peeing right now, dude, I'm just gonna do the bite and just let it out.

Ari peed in that seat three or four times yesterday.

Yesterday?

Yeah, he pissed into Bud Light cans. He's so disgusting. Ari Shafir? Oh yeah, every time he's here.

Oh, I didn't know he was here.

He pees into things.

I'm trying to get him to move here.

He's not going to.

He's a New York rat. Yeah.

But he's here all the time. I mean, he might as well live here. He's here like four or five times a year.

Yeah, just good enough. He's good enough.

He should, he should move here.

He's so funny man, I love watching him at the Comedy Cellar. Because he's one of the guys that just fucking goes for it.

Yeah, he definitely goes for it. It's gotten him in a lot of trouble.

It all comes out in the wash, though, right?

Well, if you're talented, yeah. Yeah. And he's definitely talented. He's just a wild boy.

I watch the crowd when he's on. Because I like to see the crowd just slowly, kind of. He's working through stuff. He gets messy. I like that.

What is New York scene like these days?

Well, I'm here now. We'll say that.

With an American flag out on it.

It's what it does to you, man. Dude, before I moved here, I was a 60-year-old Jamaican woman. Look what Texas does to you.

It gets you in its bones. It's just a fun thing to be. It's fun to be a Texan.

Someone the other day on the street said, he goes, you look like Kid Rock, fuck Zach Galifianakis. I was like, yeah, that works.

Yeah, that tracks.

Oh, like two weeks. Wow. It's like a dream. This has been a weird, including this, it's all a weird dream.

How long have you been doing stand-up now?

I mean, I got on stage when I was 17 or 18 in high school. Started doing improv and stand-up on stage. That's almost 20 years. Oh, wow. And then I went to college.

That's cool that someone recognized that, because most of the time they don't.

It takes one person. It's insane.

It takes one person, and, you know, that one person literally can change your life, because you're in this part of your life where you're not, you don't know what the fuck you're going to do. No. And then someone gives you a direction and they say, hey, you're really good at this. This is your thing. Oh, my God.

Yeah. He had us first class. We had to dance on stage because he was like, you're going to fuck. Oh, he was wild, dude. He was a playwright.

Yeah.

Yeah. And he goes, he goes, we're going to humiliate ourselves day one. He goes, it's going to be so bad. So everything you do after this is going to be a breeze. And I and I've I've still used that to this day with stand up.

Oh, that's an interesting strategy.

Yeah. I'm going to break you down and go, you're allowed to fuck up. You're allowed to get messy. Yeah. And that's that's why I got a place here, because I went to your club and I saw Brian Holtzman.

Well, Brian Holtzman was like a hero of comedians in Los Angeles. But he didn't get good spots. Unfortunately, they put him on really late at the end of the show. And it was a wild thing to watch. You know, you watch like 20, 30 people in the audience.

I can't imagine him with any more energy than he has now, though.

It was the same. As a young guy. Oh, his energy has not waned at all, which is why he's so good. You know, like some people slow down. It sucks.

Just turn it up a little bit.

Yeah, you're a little too casual up there. I don't want to say lazy, but you're too tired. Yeah. You got to fire the fuck up. Holtzman never lost that kind of, you know, that fucking crazy.

He's got a cult following here. It's great.

He definitely does, yeah.

So that was it. I saw him once, and then I was like, oh, yeah. I went to like the open mic or whatever, you know. I was in town doing the Vulcan, I think. And then I go, I'm going to try to get an audition.

Yeah, Ari said it yesterday. He said, you made a festival here every week. It's like a festival.

It's a festival.

Yeah.

I wasn't sure if I'd made the right move. And then I'm on the plane, and it's Roseanne Barr, the next row back, Sebastian Maniscalco, and I'm right behind him. Wow. And I was losing my fucking mind.

Yeah. Well, whenever you don't know if you should do something, and you want to do something, but then you have that little, oh, I don't know. Is this the right? You got to always go for it. You got to do it.

And you get better at that as you age. It's like you got to fuck up a lot, and then you go, I'm going to fuck up a little less this time.

Yeah. The fuck up thing. But it's also just like taking chances, going for things. It's very important. Every time I've ever done it, it's been good.

Sure.

Because I have a family, and I had a business. This podcast that requires guests.

Yeah.

I had all these people that already lived in LA. I had this built-in group of people that I would have on. And it's just like coming out here. But I was like, this is the move. And then opening the club, I was like, this is the move.

You get to practice your hour a couple times a week, and the road comes to you.

That's great. That definitely helps a lot. It just keeps you so much healthier. It's crazy how much better you feel when you don't travel every week. Yeah.

I just started touring this year.

It wears you.

Holy shit.

It's like getting drunk. Yeah. It's like getting drunk, and then you have a show that night, and then you have another show, and then you fly home, and you get drunk flying home. Because it feels like when you land, like you're hungover.

Yeah.

You're just like, oh, why am I so worn the fuck out?

And with the heat here, man. Yeah.

You get used to that.

I understand Biden a little more. I've been walking around just like, where am I? What is going on here? Shit in my pants. Hot.

Silly boy. I was telling you before this, this mayoral race in San Francisco, this might be the end. This might be, like, San Francisco is a failed city. I mean, it really is. But there's no better indication of how failed it is than listening to this debate, listening to these people argue about what's important in San Francisco.

You were at the debate last week and couldn't name any drag queens on your own. I was wondering if you could have, this is an opportunity to redeem yourself, and if you could name three LGBTQ advisors for your campaign and three drag queens in San Francisco.

Just imagine. Shut the fuck up. And that was the thing she was going to sit down on. This is the actual current mayor of San Francisco. London Breed.

Like famous, or just like Pixie, that does the kid's story hour down at the library?

I know Lexus. Lexus, yeah. Lexus, down at the clubs, does the burlesque show. What the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah. No, sit back and enjoy. This is sit back and enjoy the show. When wokeism just takes on this energy and it gets crazier and crazier. I mean, look at the sexuality acronym.

Yeah. Trudeau has them all down. But my favorite is 2AI+.

Plus. 2S.

Plus is like everybody's in this gang. that's not a white male. It's basically everything.

You mean the American flag? That would be a great flag to represent everybody.

Biracial, people of color. There's so many different things. Indigenous. There's two spirits in there, which is my favorite. I'm a two spirit.

Why not three? Why not four? Why not 45??

You're limiting yourself. And then A, which is hilarious too. How do they have any say? They're asexual.

Asexual.

How are they in there with the perverts? How are they in there with the freaks? How are they in there with the transgender people? How are they in there with fucking guys wearing leather thongs and G-strings walking down the street?

We don't want any part of this.

How are the A's in that? They just don't want to fuck.

My friend came out as bisexual, this guy in New York. And he goes, well, I've been so oppressed. I'm like, am I supposed to feel bad that you get to fuck everybody? Really? Just like, oh.

He's been oppressed. how so? I don't know.

I don't know.

I mean, how are you oppressed? It's a fun thing to say.

It's a fun thing to say.

Yeah. And it also gives you a position where people have to go, oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

You know?

What did I do?

George Bush was talking about pride the other day. And I was like, if he was— W? Yeah. Yeah, he was on some interview. And I was like, if he was president today, having to, you know, the LMAFOs, the HGTVs, the PB&Js.

Well, he is so reasonable now in comparison. I used to have a joke about Bush getting elected, about the Iraq War, and that there's people in the back of the room. And their idea was the only way to find out how dumb people really are is to have a dumb president and see if everybody freaks out. Because the only way they know that he's dumb is if they're smarter than him. Yeah.

Yeah.

And they were right. Yeah. They were so right.

Well, people act like Trump and Biden are the first—we had an autistic cowboy running the country for eight years. We wanted eight years of that.

Yeah. Yeah. But people didn't want it at the end, which is why Obama won. Yeah. Which is what this country always does.

How now, though?

Well, there's still—with gay people, for sure, there's still people that are homophobic, especially religious people.

It's too complicated now, because it's like, well, there's that, and then there's gay guys who dress up as women, who want to read to kids. And then there's those who cut their dicks. It's too—my dad came out of the closet when I was seven, so I was raised in this stuff. Came out as racist, but he— No, he's gay. I've got a gay dad.

Do you say this on stage? Do you talk about it on stage?

I talk about it everywhere. Yeah, people started booing me when I started talking about this in New York City a long time ago. It was the first time where I talked about my personal life, because I have a crazy—everyone has a crazy life.

What were they booing?

Well, they're just like, you can't talk about—you can't—that's their life. You can't talk about what it's like to be a gay person. And it's like, when I was seven, I was hiding it from my friends. So I was living like a closeted gay guy. Oh.

But— When I was in middle school, my friend Josh, his mom, was gay, and he didn't tell us. And nobody talked about it, but I—.

Lesbian moms are a little cooler, though.

I mean, she had the whole thing. Like, she was wearing the sleeveless vest with the big arms. She was a big lady, and she had a girlfriend with short hair that was always over the house. It was like the whole—like, you'd go, who's that lady? Oh, that's my mom's friend.

That's exactly what happened.

It was one of them things. But I lived in San Francisco. And so when I moved to Boston—I moved to Florida for a few years, then we moved to Boston. Like, I, had been around gay people from the time I was 7 to 11.. Like, my neighbors were gay.

That's way cooler.

Yeah. I mean, she just loved the fact she could just be naked around guys, and no one cared. But it was just this thing where, like, the whole neighborhood was gay. Everybody was gay. So gay was super normal to me.

For men, I think it was associated with AIDS. Oh. So I remember I was in the car, and, you know, we would, like, raise money for AIDS runs and all this stuff. And my friend's like, that's the AIDS thing, right? Yeah.

When did everybody figure it out?

I never told anybody. Wow. Yeah. I think I was in college the first time I told somebody, because I was a theater major. So it was like, I was safe.

And it also gives you, like, social props.

It does, yeah.

Street cred.

Yeah. I'll take whatever I can get now. When you've got resting. January 6 face, man, you need something.

Do you think you have January 6? What do you do with that hat?

Resting January 6 face.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't care. I was raised to hate America, all that bullshit. I fucking love this country, man.

It's a great country. I love it. There's no reason to hate America.

No.

We should always hate bad behavior in all groups of people, left and right. Yeah. Shitty, evil people on both sides. That's what we're supposed to hate. We're not supposed to hate America.

And the history, it's history. You've got to honor it. Even, like, the stuff growing up with my dad and stuff. I had a lot of resentment about that. But I thought, you know what?

Which is interesting, right? There's different groups of gay people. We associate gay with people who behave in a very specific, exaggerated way. Yeah.

Well, they're the loudest ones on the floats, with their dick out and a four-year-old's face.

Well, that's what's weird. It's like. it's not just gay pride. It's overtly sexual behavior, pride, you know?

Those things should have nothing to do with each other.

They're so different. I know so many gay guys that are just like, you would never know, unless they told you they were gay. They just seem like men.

Do you think people are actually homophobic? Or do they have an issue with it getting sort of convoluted into this sexual thing that our kids are seeing?

I think people who are homophobic just lack nuance. They don't understand that there's weird people in every group. Would you be heterophobic if you found out about people that are child molesters? If there was men that wanted to date 14-year-old girls and have sex with 14-year-old girls, you wouldn't be heterophobic because of that. Just like you shouldn't be homophobic if there's gay men that want to groom young boys.

That's how you become gay, by the way.

Blah! Bitten by a vampire? Yeah. But a lot of these molested guys wind up doing it to other kids, which is fucking insanely evil. Their life got destroyed, and then they wind up destroying other people's lives.

I think it's something like 30% become molesters.

Crazy.

My priest, and I don't know the backstory on this, but he blew his brains out when I was 8 years old.

Jesus, dude. Yeah. 7 and 8 was rough for you.

7, was dad coming out, and then.

What did the priest do? that he wanted to blow his brains out?

I don't know, but I always.

Was he Catholic? I don't know what he did.

He didn't touch me because I wasn't a part of it. Catholic? Methodist.

Methodist. Interesting. Are they allowed to get married?

Yeah, I think so.

Huh. The Catholic ones.

They're allowed to blow their brains out. He did it at the altar.

Oh, my God. Yeah. In front of everybody?

No, off day. Thank God. But I remember going back in the next day, and we just had a new guy, and he had a mustache. He looked like Ned Flanders, and I'm like, no, I can't do this.

Did they tell everybody what happened? Yeah. Did he leave a note?

Give me a problem. Maybe. I don't know.

Does anybody know what was wrong?

No, I Googled it. It's been wiped. I can't even find the story.

Oh, boy.

I know. Yeah. They're good at wiping that.

Well, there's a horrible thing that people connect priest with child molesters. Because, you know, just like we're talking about other things, there's a group of them.

Well, I wonder if by occupation, if it's the most. I can't say for sure.

It's certainly associated the most. It's not like NASCAR drivers. Imagine if that many NASCAR drivers were molesting kids. They'd shut NASCAR down in a fucking heartbeat.

Sure.

Meanwhile, Catholic church gets tax exempt status.

Right.

You know, they're literally guilty of moving people who are molesters to another place where they can molest new people instead of turning them in. That's what Pope Benedict got in trouble for. It's one of the reasons why he stepped down.

Really? Yeah.

He was responsible for moving this one guy that went on to molest 100 deaf kids. Yeah. Yeah. They would move these people to places where they could get away with it instead of turn them in. And I don't know if they gave him counsel.

You go out and make Midnight at Paris after that.

Yes. Well, he never went to jail.

No, I don't know if he did.

Well, he did something.

I went out with a girl. She goes, I feel like I'm hanging out with Woody Allen when I'm hanging out with you. And I was like, I don't know if that was.

What year? Woody Allen? Annie Hall?

You're giving me an existential crisis. You're not even Asian. I'm trying something different.

Have you ever listened to his old stand-up?

Yeah, I like it.

It's so pervy.

Yeah, he's very pervy.

But it's hilarious how openly pervy he is.

Yeah, yeah.

And then you have to think of the time in which he was doing the stand-up. This is the 1960s.

Yeah.

So he's doing this, like, weird sexual thing.

Yeah, I was fucking a moose, you know. The moose had me mounted on the wall.

Well, he's talking about girls. Yeah, yeah.

He talks about girls. I loved girls. His voice is so, to be a, you know, he really, this is really what his voice is. You're a knockout show. You really are.

And he's like, aw, dude.

Yeah. When you're funny, though, you can be, that's your currency. He's an ugly, weird-looking guy, but if you're funny, that's what you do.

Yeah, up until the whole child-molesting accusations.

Yeah, she was a bit of a batshit crazy lady. I mean, both of them deserve whatever happened, they both deserve it. She was adopting kids and returning them. What? Yeah, oh, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah, I mean, all the kids have come out with different stories, but, you know.

Well, if you're fostering kids.

They deserve each other.

If you're fostering kids and taking care of kids, you're taking care of kids that have already experienced, like, some crazy shit. You know, so these kids are probably already fucked up.

A lot of them didn't speak English. They'd bring them in from different countries, China and stuff. They didn't speak English. They'd be, like, disabled. And then, Woody Allen's, like, you, want to go for a walk?

They're pretty good. They're not that good.

They're not that good, but what I love about it, it's a different, nobody could do that now and go, I can go make a movie a year. You're going, I'm going to see the Rogan movie. I'm going to see the, I'm seeing the Shane Gillis movie.

Did he really make one a year? Yeah.

Wow. He made them real cheap, didn't pay himself. And, uh, we'll never have that again. I even remember when I was in my teens going, I'm seeing the Woody Allen movie. You didn't even care what it was.

Like, they were always good, right? Like, how many does he have? Oh, my God. Look at how many movies he has, man.

Yeah, absolutely.

He's still making them?

That one's good, Rainy Day in New York. It's good.

Where does he live now?

He lives in Manhattan. Still? Yeah, same place. Upper East Side. Wow.

I wonder if he gets fucked with. Like, can he just walk around?

Probably. He's old, man.

Yeah.

He is old. I don't think people would recognize him.

Really? Oh, come on.

Not the younger generation.

I think they know who he is.

He never lived with Mia Farrow, I found out. Oh, really? They never even slept over each other's house. They were never married.

Oh, no kidding. Yeah.

Doesn't make it less weird that he started fucking her daughter, but no.

It does not.

But, you know.

Especially since he knew her, since she was like two.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, not good. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he looks like now. Yeah. Yeah, they'd recognize him in a heartbeat, dude.

Well, she's older now.

Yeah. He's 88.. Wow.

Goddamn. He's done. The pandemic, I think, finished him.

He's 88.

Finished him.

Well, I mean, just life is finishing him. He's 88 years old, man. I mean, that's just, and he still does a movie a year. What did he get arrested for there?

That's from a movie, Take the Money and Run, I think.

Oh.

Yeah.

He had some great fucking movies, man. He did.

But he's a real germaphobe, neurotic guy. The pandemic ruined anybody that had that type of personality.

Oh, I know a few people. Oh, God. Yeah.

Done.

Yeah, they're not coming back.

That is a tragedy. That's the tragedy of our time, man.

Yeah, there were people that were barely hanging on. Oh, yeah. They were riddled with anxiety.

Yeah, I was one of them, but it was more because I didn't get the vaccine and couldn't take part in society. That was a fun little experiment we did, that we're just going to pretend like never happened.

Yeah, that was an interesting thing.

Interesting little thing, yeah. Yeah. We had segregation in this country based on medicine, and then we're back to pretending like it never fucking happened.

Well, at least now they're having hearings on it.

Yeah, nine years later. Fauci was on TV the other day going, you know, it could have come from the lab. It may have been a leak. I want to stay open-minded. And on CNN, they're like, yeah, okay.

Yeah, they'll drop their ideological bullshit when they can't work. It's been shown. when you make their lives difficult, they'll drop their ideological bullshit.

Just give them another booster. Boost them up.

Imagine saying that about people's jobs, that you're going to force them into making a decision with their own body. And not only that, but mandate it. And not only that, as a doctor, know that some people are allergic to some of the components, some of the actual ingredients in this vaccine. Aaron Rodgers is one of them. Yeah.

And some people have immune systems that work pretty well. Yeah. And maybe you don't need to start jabbing them. with experimental stuff. I mean—.

Yeah, it's a wild thing that happened. And so many people are still defending it because they defended it previously. They're not defending it from a position of, like, objectivity, like, here we are, 2024, let's look at the data. No, they're defending it from this weird place of, I defended it three years ago, and I shamed people three years ago, and we were right. Oh, yeah.

There's no way to tell.

Because the number of people that actually die from COVID is so grossly exaggerated. Most people think it's a very high number of people that died from COVID. It's less than 1%. It's like, was it 0.3?? Is it, like, one-third of 1%?

I don't know one per—I mean, I know people do. I know a couple of people. And some people, you know.

I know a couple of people that died from it.

But it's not what—I remember, I was watching CNN. I was kind of like a brainwashed, woke person until the pandemic. Really? Every day I was on CNN watching, watching that death ticker, that, like, the stock market. And then, when I made my decision not to get the vaccine and I lost almost every friend, every job, and was called, like, a far-right Trump supporter, I go, okay, this is—we've never done this before.

What was your decision? Why did you decide not to take it?

Well, I mean, I'm not getting something—first of all, it wouldn't have been made that—Trump's really good at pushing things through regulations very fast. If we had any other president, there's no way. That's what warp speed—you remember warp speed, Joe, right? Nobody can do that. We call it warp speed.

Right. You already had COVID, which is really important.

Yeah. So why risk that?

What was the—what version of COVID did you have? The earliest one?

I had the first—the OG, the original.

And how bad was it for you?

It was like—I get the flu every year. I'm tiny. I'm a sickly person. You know? I'm allergic to fucking cigarettes.

Yeah, sure.

Why not? One of these. I quit smoking when I was 12, but—.

But you smoked a cigar?

I started when I was 10.

Nice.

So let's start now. Sorry.

I would have—.

No, it's fine. It's fine. It's just—God damn.

How did I know that you had quit cigarettes?

Nah, you wouldn't know that.

Somebody—I think somebody brought it up.

Well, I put up a sign when I was filming the special that—like a no-smoking sign. Pull that down. Oh, yeah.

A no-smoking sign?

Like a Mark's Brother when they're fucking—. Well, I had a—I had a—when I was—I filmed the special last week, and we were live editing it. So I put up a no-smoking sign in the green room, because I had all these—I had all this camera crew and stuff in there.

Mm-hmm.

What do you hit? This thing?

The other side. The top. that's flipped, the way I handed it to you. Turn it towards you. Turn it towards you.

Oh, like this?

Yeah. There you go. This is a company of errors.

Oh, I was good at this when I was 12.

Under counters?

Yeah, I'd sneak under the counter of a drugstore. Oh, God. Because I was so small. And then I'd come out with—and we would sell them on the street.

Your gang sold stolen cigars?

Stolen cigars, and we grew weed in my backyard. Yeah, yeah. It was a real—it was a gang. I mean, somebody stole our weed. once.

What part of Connecticut?

New Haven. Okay.

I know New Haven.

It's called Gunblazing. Everyone's like, oh, you're so privileged. It was a, you know—.

New Haven's a sketchy place.

Sketchy, yeah. We had gunshots every night. Every single night.

I used to do the Joker's Wild Comedy Club in New Haven. You did? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that still around?

I don't know. It's where I did my first open mic.

No shit. You did your first open mic there? Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah.

Actually, no. First one was the cafeteria at college.

No.

Stuff Happens. It was in the West End in London. It was all actual quotes from George Bush and his administration. The whole thing. And it's fucking amazing.

Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The war on terror. Weapons of mass destruction. All the whole...

Yeah.

Biden pulling out, leaving billions of dollars of.

Shit behind. Yeah. If you just compared Biden to George Bush, George Bush looks like a fucking Rhodes Scholar. Yeah. It's amazing.

Yeah.

And now look at the two choices we have. You're like, yo, Bush would be like the wise choice at this point. Yeah. You know?

Oh, yeah. Did you ever watch the clip when they're like, asking him, I think, about Bin Laden or something? He's like, yeah, we're going to find Bin Laden. But first, watch this drive. Watch this drive.

It was a good drive. Yeah.

And it was a way of keeping people calm. and like, he's so American. He just is. We're dumb. We're fucking stupid.

Yeah. He's a transport to Texas. You know, they're from Maine.

He was born in New Havens, you know?

Was he really?

And he denies it.

Oh, he denies it?

The bridge that goes into New Haven is the George W. Bush Bridge. And he denies. He was born at Yale, New Haven Hospital.

Wait a minute. Why would he lie about that?

Because he wants to be.

Nobody knows. they're from Kennebunkport, Maine.

Born in New Haven. Really? Oh, yeah. Interesting. They're like, fuck you.

Is it American? Hey, baby.

New Haven.

Yeah. New Haven, Connecticut. So, at one point in time, he was hiding this? Is that what it is? Isn't that funny?

I would vote for him for a third term. 100%. In a second.

Come on back, George.

Yeah. We need a laugh, buddy.

And bring that Darth Vader fucking, fake heart, motherfucker, with you.

Dick Cheney? Yeah. Is he still alive?

Yeah. He's literally in the Bible. He had no pulse at one point in time.

I haven't read the whole Bible. Maybe you heard my priest blew his brains out when I was eight. I kind of stopped reading.

But I mean, if you're going to have like a demon incarnate, you'll probably have no pulse. Jesus. I would imagine.

I mean, watching Biden in a cult, like when he freezes up now. Oh yeah. That's crazy. You think he's gone, man.

Well, he's going to go. But also he's freezing up, medicated to the tits. Like whatever they're doing to keep him alive. IV vitamin transfusions and fucking hormones and amphetamines. Whatever they're doing.

He could be the first president to be assassinated by time.

Yeah.

I mean, I just.

He's not going to make it. I just can't believe they're running him. It doesn't even make sense. The more he flails about in these speeches, the more he fucks up, the more it's almost like he feels like he doesn't want to do it. So he's trying to get out of it.

They're calling them cheap fakes now.

But wait a minute. There's a video of the show where, look, I don't think that's a big deal. The thing's over. He gets led off the stage. Like who cares?

He always does that.

Yeah. But this was a wild one. That's just him walking off with Joe Biden, with Obama. Like, who cares? That doesn't.

I think it was the like, he gave him a little pinch on the arm, like you do to your grandma. Oh, he's looking at the crowd. Let's go.

He's just looking out at the crowd, which is odd.

He does look frozen though. Yeah. Yeah. She's frozen.

Yeah. But whatever. Yeah. That's the least of the things that have gone wrong. The thing of, have you seen the video of him yelling, Jamie?

He yells and then he does that whisper. He's like.

It's hard to believe it's real. It's hard. It's almost like we're being punked by China.

Oh, yeah.

They definitely doing that. They're definitely doing that.

COVID was a bit of a punk.

A little bit. A little.

Yeah. Minor worldwide punk.

That we funded.

That we funded.

Yeah. Our tax dollars.

How about reparations for everybody who got fired for not getting the COVID vaccine? I think everyone should get a fat check. $100,000..

That's not a bad idea. Yeah. That's not even enough. How many people lost their fucking jobs?

Dude, people. It's destroyed people.

This isn't it. Not it. Let me hear this, though. Let me hear what this one is.

Donald Trump, when he was commander in chief, refused to visit a cemetery, a U.

Is that how his son died? Why is he saying his son?

His son. The death of his son changes by the day. It's like.

Yeah, but what is he saying there? Is he saying his son died as a military person?

Yeah, I don't think he died in war. He mixes it up.

Does it say how he died? He died from cancer.

He'll link everything to his son dying.

Oh, no, no, no. Exposure to military burn pits in Iraq. Okay, that makes sense. Okay. Oh, so what did he do?

Yikes.

Yeah. What the fuck, man? And what was his son doing? When his son was in Kosovo? Was his son serving?

I think so.

Is that what happened?

It's amazing how Trump, he looks like, he looks so young and energized compared to Biden now.

Yeah, but it's just compared to Biden.

Just compared to it.

He was in Kosovo after 1998-1999 Kosovo war. Working on behalf of the OSCE to train judges and prosecutors for the local judicial system. 2004 became a partner in the law firm of Bittoferrato, Gentilotti, Biden, and Bailick. Where he worked for two years before being elected Attorney General of Delaware.

Like Brian Regan has a joke about being president. Every morning you wake up, someone's like, Problems, sir, lots and lots of problems. Any of those jobs.

There's not one day where everything's like fucking yeah.

Do you think they should have an age cap on the politicians? They got a minimum, right? 35 to run.

If you want to be a fireman, you have to show that you're physically competent. You have to complete a physical fitness course. Sure. You have to, you know, because you might have to do things. If you are a president, I think you should have to commit a mental fitness course.

I mean, I think Mitch McConnell had two strokes in a very short amount of time.

He locks up whatever that is. I don't think it's a stroke, but he definitely locks up like Windows 95..

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not good. It's not good and he's not stepping down. These people are so old. They're so old and they shouldn't be doing anything. They certainly shouldn't be running the world for future generations that they are absolutely not going to witness.