Synced: Mommy Issues
2024-06-19 01:01:22
Hi, I’m Dax Shepard, and I love talking to people. I am endlessly fascinated by the messiness of being human, and I find people who are vulnerable and honest about their struggles and shortcomings to be incredibly sexy. I invite you to join me as I explore other people’s stories. We will celebrate, above all, the challenges and setbacks that ultimately lead to growth and betterment. What qualifies me for such an endeavor? More than a decade of sobriety, a degree in Anthropology and four years of improv training. I will attempt to discover human “truths” without any laboratory work, clinical trials or data collection. I will be, in the great tradition of 16th-century scientists, an Armchair Expert.
Hi. You were out of town, I saw on Instagram. Yes. Welcome back.
Thank you. I went to Arizona. It was kind of a last minute. Tell me everything. I got invited to, there was an abortion rally on Saturday, and then pro, or?
Well, I know, I'm still on the fence. I'm still undecided. Pro, definitely pro. But then I saw that Trump is doing his first rally, coming straight out of his conviction, and so...
My God, what a sentence. What a stupid sentence.
Yeah, it's not okay. That just came out of my mouth. So I saw he was doing a rally on Thursday, and then I was like, well, if I'm going to go to Arizona, I'm going to go to both. And so I ended up going to the Trump rally and interviewing a lot of men.
Trump supporters?
Yes, Trump supporters about women's bodies. I quizzed them on women's bodies, basically, to see how much they knew. And I didn't get a single no from anyone. Oh, wow. So I was pretty heartened by that.
I don't know how much you want me to get into it.
I'm curious.
First of all, I'm just going to say it. He's going to win. Like, based on just the experience I had and how similar it is to like 2016,, where just, there's so much enthusiasm for him. And it was so normal. Like, it wasn't like the fringe.
Like in 2016,. it was like, you were like, why are people so angry? Like, who are these people? Where are they coming? You know, it was sort of these fringe groups of people who have never voted before.
Obviously, there are a lot of people who have voted before, who voted for him, but it was sort of a radical kind of movement. And now it was just teenage sons and their moms and families, and a diversity of ages, a diversity of everything. And it just struck me. And then I've not been to a Biden rally yet, but the enthusiasm gap is scary. I'm very scared as well.
I mean,
I do feel, though, that sort of, generally speaking, how these parties divide. Republicans generally are quite enthusiastic about their candidate always. And I do think there's generally a portion of Democrats that are very enthusiastic or like loud, but there's also a big portion that's just kind of being quiet. I just hope those people, you can stay quiet, but you have to vote. It's just a numbers game.
I mean, there are more Democrats and Republicans in this country. If we were required to vote, it would be no question, but there are so.
many hurdles. Yes. So many. The whole theory of like the right treats their, they don't treat their voters like voters. They treat them like fans.
Yes. Like wrestling fans. A hundred percent. In 2016,, people were enthusiastic about the first female president. Like, there was enthusiasm, but there was also a lot of people who weren't.
For sure. But I feel like now with Biden, like everything that's happening in the war, I'm worried. Yeah. I'm.
worried as well. Anyone who's like the war, if you think Trump or any Republican would do anything different or make it so much worse, like you are kidding. He is going to make it worse. Yeah. If you're a Democrat and you're like, Oh, I don't like what Biden's doing with the war.
I understand, but this is a binary choice. If you must look at it like this, which I personally don't, but it's a lesser of two evils. Like this is the way we have to approach it. I'm not so much worried about the Republican. I'm worried about Democrats.
I'm worried that Democrats are just going to be like, sit it out. Exactly. And there's.
nothing that Trump could do at this point that would make those people not vote for him. I mean, he's a hundred percent at this point, like, but Biden, there's a lot that he can do, right? There's a lot to. basically, Trump has very little to lose, unfortunately, and Biden has a lot to lose. And we'll see.
It's going to be interesting. But that's why, again, we're focusing on abortion rights and on women's rights. And I think, when you focus on those issues, yes, it's a very scary picture. If a Republican is in the White House, it's already. Yeah.
And he's single handedly responsible for overturning Roe, and he'll keep doing.
crazier and crazier. Yeah. OK, but was it fun? Yeah, it was. It was.
It was. I like it.
Yeah. You're in your element. Yeah. I like being out in the field. It was so hot.
Oh, 50 people passed out. Oh, my God. Like pull down stretchers. Like. I interviewed the firefighters because they were hot.
And yeah, it was kind of mayhem. It was 110.. Oh, they probably weren't drinking their element. I forgot my element, actually. And I have been chugging it since I've been back.
Yeah. Element required. But yeah, how was your week? My week was good.
Well, I do think I ate too many chicken burritos from Arowan. Oh, I was eating them exclusively. For how long? Like two weeks, maybe more. I didn't count.
Maybe just two weeks. I want to keep eating them every day exclusively. I love them. But then I had one dinner that was not Arowan chicken burrito and my body, like, could not handle it. It got so accustomed to only eating Arowan chicken burritos.
It was rejecting itself. Oh, God. That's an expensive habit. I know. So then I thought, oh, shit.
And my pee was smelling kind of weird. Like chicken? Like chicken burrito. Chicken burrito pee? It wasn't chicken burrito pee, but I was like, huh, I wonder if I need to, just like, add a little bit more variety back into my diet.
Based on your pee. I don't think I've ever eaten something that's changed my pee. Oh, no, that's a real, that's very real. You can eat certain foods that will change, also just your whole vaginal pH. For sure.
That I know. Lemon, obviously, is very good. Asparagus. Asparagus is bad. Well, it's not bad.
It's good. Yeah. Have you never done that? I don't think I like. assess my pee.
Oh, my God. Asparagus pee is very specific.
Okay. Maybe you just don't eat it very much. I kind of do. I eat a lot of green vegetables. Is it all the green ones or just asparagus?
No, it's asparagus, specifically. Interesting. Asparagus pee,
it's very common. Maybe we didn't get it in Canada. Like periods in the water. No, I think more people definitely know about asparagus pee. I agree.
Maybe you should try it tonight. Eat some and then see if you smell it. It's very, very distinct. Okay. Got it.
I wonder, though, if it's also kind of like cilantro, where some people don't have it, but I'm pretty sure it's something in the asparagus that causes a smell. Anywho, I'm adding some diversity back in to my diet, that's.
on the docket. Did you hear about Eron's sunscreen smoothie? Ew. I saw it last night. What is it?
I would have sent it to you. I didn't know you were on. Eron. I'm on a kick. Okay.
So it's Eron's new sunscreen inspired smoothie by classic, it's like a brand. Is it Vacation Brand? Yes. Oh my.
God. Vacation Brand, Smoothie. Whoa. First of all, I love that brand. I do too.
And we just interviewed for Armchair Anonymous, someone who works for that brand. Okay. Which is so weird. Weird. There's been some sim glitches lately.
That is one. My friend Molly, she has a very distinct face. She's beautiful. She has like this gorgeous face. And a couple of weeks ago, Jess and I saw a woman at L&E, shout out L&E Oyster Bar.
And she looked just like Molly. Like she had the exact same face. And I first noticed it because she's half Ecuadorian. And so she has like a beautiful skin color as well. And I saw this woman and I asked Jess, is that the same color of Molly's skin, or is it a little lighter or darker?
And he was like, I think it's the same. And then I was like, whoa, her face also looks exactly like her. And he was like, yeah, weird. But she had like sort of this gray streak in her hair. She was really cool looking.
Gray streak is like bucket list. I hope one day to be cool enough. And I was like, whoa, this is so weird. She looks just like her. And then I told Molly, I was like, oh my God, we found your like doppelganger or your twin or something.
And then yesterday I was with Jess again at Spina. We tried Spina. You finally did it? Yeah. This really good Italian restaurant in Glendale.
And I looked through the window and there's another Molly. What? Yes. I was like, I think that's that girl from L&E. Right.
But then there was no gray streak. And so it was a different Molly. So it's evidence that there's just like this cookie cutter that The Sim, The Sim is just making like replications and then making small changes, like adding a gray streak, long hair, big boobs, small, tiny adjustments. But it's the.
same. Yeah. To see, if you're aware. I think it's an accident. Oh, it's an accident.
Okay. Okay. That makes sense. Yep. So it was trying to do Molly.
Like. I wasn't supposed to see that person.
I wasn't supposed to see three Mollys. Whoa. That was a glitch. Sure. Eric says, if we pay too much attention to the glitches, they're going to unplug The Sim.
So it's like a little scary.
The fact that we're talking about it, The Sim's going to be like embarrassed. Yeah. And then like.
unplugged. Right. Like. we're getting onto it too much. I know, but I can't help but be aware.
Sure.
Sure. And then talk. Well, do you think that it's a thing where? now, because you're like seeing Molly everywhere, you're going to see her everywhere? Well, I hope not.
I mean, I love her.
face, but it's unsettling to see it everywhere. Maybe it was the girl and she dyed her hair.
and grew it out really long. That's possible. Or she's wearing a wig. Or it's Molly. Just.
talking with you. I know. It could be. Okay. I'm sorry.
Back to heroin sunscreen smoothie. What's?
in it? Good question. Let's see. I was on Instagram. LA mag.
I'm guessing it's like a.
pina colada kind of situation. Coconut base, creamy tropical flavor, sea salt, blue spirulina. Sure. Are you interested in trying it? I think I have to.
Okay. Right. I'm not so into their like collab smoothies. Yeah. Even though I think it's cool.
and if they want to collab, I'm availed. I am tech availed. Wait, what would be your smoothie? Ooh. Probably something chocolate.
because I'm brown. That makes sense. That's all I have. They don't have a chocolate one. Yeah,
which is great. I mean, they have, but not a collab. Not a collab. So they could. The chocolate ones are always the best ones.
Maybe I could do like a mint chocolatey one. That would be good. With actual peppermint. Like tea. Peppermint tea.
Oh, you love tea. I love tea. Yeah. Mixed with cacao. Probably some sort of protein.
Maybe like a little almond butter in there. Yum. I don't want to give this away for free, but there's going to be other pieces to this. And heroin, if you're listening, I'm here for you. Does heroin just exist in LA?
I think so. Wow. Why aren't they branching out? Expanded. I don't know, but it's kind of a good move, because when people come here, they want to go.
It's like a tourist attraction. at this point. I was just looking, speaking of that, I was on Emily Sundberg. She has a popular sub stack called Feed Me. And she wrote something about C.O.
Bigelow in New York, the pharmacy. And I have had those, like rose salves and the little things from C.O. Bigelow. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, okay.
What is it? C.O. Bigelow. I thought you would know because you're a New Yorker. It's like C.O.
Bigelow. It's a brand. It's a pharmacy, but they also have their own brand. So they have this like rose salve. that was really popular.
I think it maybe is still really popular, but you can kind of use it anywhere on your lips or anything. And it's like in a little tin. It's really cute, but they have other products as well. I didn't even know that it was a pharmacy. I thought it was just a brand and turns out it's this pharmacy in New York and it's really cool.
They have all these cool products and they have makeup and hair and you can order some stuff online, but not everything. And it's really smart. because now I'm like, when am I going to New York? next? I have to plan a trip so I can go to C.O.
Bigelow. I've never heard of this place.
I know. I'm shocked. Whoa. Wait, I want to Google it and see like the logo.
I think you'd recognize. C.O. Bigelow. Oh, they've sold some of the products other places. I think they used to sell it at Bath and Body Works, the little rose salve, which is maybe when I first.
When I do images, it just pulls out Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo. Oh, that's different. Are you spelling it right? B-I-G-A-L-O? E-L-O-W.
Oh, I was writing Bigelow.
With a W at the end too. Bigelow. It'll self-correct. Oh, I know this brand. Okay,
yeah. It's like in hotels and stuff. But it's a pharmacy. Okay. I didn't know.
it was like a big.
deal. Yeah. So now I got to go. Okay. Well, let's go to New York.
Go to New York. Go to the pharmacy. Go to Crooked Deal. Yeah, for real. Oh, for real.
That rhymes.
Heroin is sort of the C.
O. Bigelow of LA. If you can only get the Hailey Bieber smoothie in LA, people are going to come get it. Unless, do you think people, oh man, I wish you had asked at the Trump rally. About heroin?
About heroin, about Hailey Bieber. Do they know as much as we do about, okay, do they know about the Hailey Bieber smoothie in middle America? That's a great question. Middle America is an offensive term. I'm not going to say that.
Flyover State.
Much better. Yes. No, you know what I mean? I do. If we polled America, how many people know?
about the Hailey Bieber smoothie? I would say 50-50.. I think a lot of people do now because.
of TikTok and stuff. That's the thing. I feel like. I know it because I'm online. Who knows?
Hailey Bieber period? 70-30, I think. Because of Bieber. Because of Justin Bieber. 95% of people know Justin Bieber.
Wait, I saw this video. I can't remember. It was like finding people who don't know who Trump is and just talking to them. Oh, I wish. I know.
It'd be kind of interesting. Actually, I was on another phone date last night and the guy was like, I was on a date with a woman, and it's great, but she didn't know that there was an election this year. And that was a deal breaker. Would that be a deal breaker for you?
That's tough. How hot would they have to be?
Oh, my God. Pin in that. Pin. in that. I guess I would be interested to know more.
Whoa, how? Where do you live? What do you do? Are you actively trying to be totally removed? Because then that's kind of could be interesting.
But if you're just an accountant who doesn't know,
no. Yeah, it's weird. I think it's almost like you have to really try. Personally,
I don't think anyone's hot enough to not know that there's an election. Although, what is going? Okay. Are the Olympics happening or not? Yes.
Why are you saying it like that? Because I have seen zero about the fucking Olympics. It's summer and it's the summer Olympics. What's going on? Why haven't we seen anything?
I have not seen any videos of training, of promos. Notoriously, I cry at Olympic promos. I haven't cried once because I haven't seen anything. Then I was like, is it getting skipped? Like, where is it?
It's in Paris. I know it's in Paris. That was a mini crossword clue, and I got it because I know that. But where is it in the world? I'm saying like, why isn't anyone talking about it?
Do you think it's?
because we're not watching TV and we're not getting ads? Why isn't it on social media? You're right. It's weird. I wonder if it's like the war stuff.
Right. I wonder if it's getting overshadowed by the war and the election. There was this really bad election. The European Union voted. Worse than Trump, I think, like Marine Le Pen, this super right wing party is going to win in France.
This might come out in a week, so it won't be relevant. But they did very well in the European Parliament election. And so now they're going to have a French election and she's probably going to win. So there's just like a lot of stuff going on. But to your point, I think this could.
maybe bring people together. We could use an Olympic event. This year, could really use an.
Olympic event. It really could. I think you should do something for the Olympics. I think you should call them up and I can be their hype man. Yeah.
I mean, you should do gymnastics coverage. Like, are you going to do stuff? I would love it. You should watch and do live coverage. Well,
I guess maybe. I don't know. I don't know if I have time. Be the change you want to see in the world. Like be the Paris Olympics.
Well, that's once it starts. We need to get people excited about it. That's what we're doing now. That's what this is about. Our show is now about the.
Oh, my God. We should do a segment each week leading up to the Olympics, getting people hyped up. I like that. We're definitely going to do that. I'm going to do an Erewhon smoothie.
The Olympics should have a smoothie. Exactly. If sunscreen can have a smoothie, why can't the Olympics? I mean, oh, my God. They need a new marketing team.
The Olympics. Yeah. Some things, God. Okay. Also, no, I won't say that's bad, but I wish it was more available.
I mean, it's on Peacock, I guess, because NBC. I think that's partly why. I know. I think that's what's going on. How can you watch it?
I need to talk to them. I got to get in there. Do you have like a vibe of? if you were an Olympic athlete, which one would you be? That's a great question.
I think you should tell me what I am. I think you would be a runner. Oh, I love that. I do run a lot.
That's cool. I want to say gymnastics, because I know how important it is to you. Magnificent seven. Magnificent seven. But that's too obvious.
But I do see you like doing the thing with the.
ribbon. Oh, no. Rhythmic gymnastics. No shade. That is not for me.
Not for you. You're more of.
a bar girl. It's just like dancing around. Exactly. No. Okay, this is aspirational.
This is, I think, what I want for you, for myself. I think this is selfish. It's like, because then you would do TikToks with me. Oh. We could do one together.
That would be a dream come true. Rhythmic gymnastics.
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Quince. It is vacation time. It's summer vacay time. And that means shopping time. Quince is such a good place to go.
For me, for summer, I like to have some things in my wardrobe that I don't normally have, like some kind of more fun items, some more colorful items. And it's great for those.
really beautiful main pieces that look like they're really expensive, but obviously they're not because you're getting them on Quince. So you're getting them like 50% to 80% less than.
similar brands. Yeah, because they cut out the cost of the middleman. And so they're passing on the savings, which is so awesome. They have these amazing European linen dresses and shorts, and they start at $30.. It's so cute.
You're going to look so great. I got these one pieces.
because I love a one piece, but sometimes, you know, they're not comfortable or they're not made, like. they can be a little cheap, you know, and then you're just not going to wear them. But with Quince, I know that what I'm getting is really high quality. So I got this like really beautiful, kind of like dark forest green onesie. And then I got a short one too, like a shorts onesie.
Like a romper. Cute. Like a romper. Yes. And predictably, they're awesome.
Pack your bags with high quality essentials with Quince. Go to quince.com slash sync for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash sync to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash sync. Today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program.
Liz, you're around pets right now.
I'm around pets right now because, as you know, if I'm in New York, I'm staying at someone's house and very often I'm staying with their pets. And so there's two doodles right now and I am terrified. Anytime they bark, anytime, like I'm just always worried they're choking on something. And so I just can't imagine having a pet and not having pet insurance to make sure that, you know, if something happens, that they're covered and that there's someone to take care of them.
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You'd be a great diver, actually.
Oh, my God. It's like. you've never met me.
I know, but now it's not connected to anything about you. It's your body and I think just as long as someone catches you when you fall in the water.
Before I get to the water. Actually, I mean, yes, aerial-wise, because I do have some experience in that, I see what you mean, but I think my boobs are too big to be a diver.
They push them in. The baiting suits are intense. You're almost flat.
Ow, that would hurt.
You're right. Yeah, which sport do you have to have? the small?
You're allowed to have big boobs.
Or like it would be helpful.
Never helpful for any sport, I don't think. For the most part in sports, you kind of have to like, strap them down.
Wait, what about floating? Does that help you float? Couldn't you be a really good?
floater?
Floater, like water polo? You'd be good.
Does that help you float?
I don't think so.
For sure. It's pockets of... But it's fat.
Oh, I guess. Yeah, I was going to say pockets of air.
And mammary glands. It's definitely not air. Although there's different densities. Some women have denser boobs than others.
Are yours dense?
I don't know. I think maybe. Well, how do we know?
Have you touched other boobs?
No, but I've seen other boobs. I mean, I assume mine are probably similar to my mom's.
Does it get this down? Of course. That's crazy, because my mom has giant boobs and me and my sister have no boobs. I don't think it's genetic. Maybe there's...
Okay, Google that.
We do need to know if boob size is genetic. Boob size. Breast size, because let's try to get some science. My mom, I have bigger boobs than her, but she has good sized boobs. And I think my grandmother as well.
And what about butt? Because me and my sister both have good butts, no boobs. And I'm like, did we get that from my dad? You could have got more of your body. We got the boobs and the butt from your dad.
Without a doubt, genetics form the cornerstone of breast size determination.
But expand on that.
Our familiar lineage blueprints many aspects of our physical form, including breast size. You'll likely manifest this trait if you've inherited genes for excessively large breasts. What the hell? It skips a generation. It is two people, so maybe you probably got more of your dad's body.
Or my dad's boob genes.
Boob genes, yeah. But I also think, generally speaking, there's body type. You often match a parent's body type or parts. Have you ever looked at a part of yourself and been like, I am looking at my dad's blank dick?
I'm kidding. But my legs are very similar to my dad's.
Okay.
And sometimes I look at them and I'm like, wow. I 100% got that from him.
I have the same thing with my dad. We have a bump on our shoulder. I have an extra bone.
Like a sit. Oh, a bone.
It just sticks out. My sister has it. My dad has it. And I have to check if Mila has it, actually. My niece.
But we call that the plank bone.
Oh, that's cool.
And sometimes throughout time, me and my sister look so much like my dad. But my sister, as she's aged, now, starts looking like a lot like my mom when she was her age. They both have like the cheekbones. It's interesting how you can, you know, your face changes.
Yes, for sure. Okay. The pin.
About being hot? Yes. Okay, great.
I watched Challengers this weekend.
How was it?
Have you seen it yet?
I wanted to go see it. Remember we were, I bet Lena was like, she's seen it.
We were going to go see it a long time ago, then we didn't. But then I rented it. Oh, you did?
Yes.
And oh my god, it's so hot. I've heard.
It's like a sexy movie.
Before it came out, I heard it looks so hot, right? It was like, so sexy. I was excited about it. Then, when it came out, I heard mixed things. And so then I lowered my expectations.
And I was kind of like, I don't even know if I want to see this. But then I had time on Saturday. So I rented it. Oh, my god. I thought it was so hot.
Oh, the boys are so hot in that movie. And back to a couple weeks ago, or maybe it was last week when we were talking about rodent boyfriends, which I really, that's the last time I'm going to say that phrase, because I don't like it. I think it's very rude.
To brats or to men? To men.
Like who wants to, if they said rodent girlfriend, I personally would not find that flattering. I can't speak for everyone. But I see what people mean. And I am doubling down. That is my type.
Oh. I find it's that look so hot.
Tell me more about the look.
I mean, it's sort of how you described it. It's not cookie cutter, pretty. But yeah, I find it so attractive. And then I watched the Italian movie that I've been trying to watch for also months, La Chimera. I rented that as well.
And that has Josh O'Connor, the brunette guy in Challengers. So I had like a whole Josh O'Connor evening.
Oh, interesting.
He's so hot. And you know, he also plays Prince Charles in The Crown, the young Prince Charles,
which I need to Google him.
I didn't realize until I was told. So I had a whole Josh O'Connor evening. It was all extremely hot. La Chimera is incredible. It's such a good movie.
It's very odd. It's very Italian. It's artsy. But it's beautiful. And about death and longing and lovely.
Wow. I recommend La Chimera and Challengers.
Were you surprised by how attracted you were to this type? Or were you like, oh, that's always been my type?
Yeah, I think I'm like, yeah, duh. That's your type.
Wow. Oh, that's not my type at all.
He's so charismatic. He's so hot. I think my type is, upon first glance, you might just be like, oh, yeah, that's a nice looking person, whatever. You're not thinking twice, really. But there's so much personality infused.
You build a charisma. They both were very charismatic, but he especially really hot. And then it led me to ask a bunch of my friends if they'd ever had threesomes.
OK.
And pretty much no one had.
Wow.
Yeah, which I was kind of surprised. But have you had one?
I've never had one. And it's so off brand for me. I really want to. So I have a friend of mine that laughs at me all the time because I've been in a lot of situations where he was like, that was a threesome. You left the room, but that was a threesome.
Gonna be a threesome.
And I didn't get the memo. So I think there's a certain kind of vibe that I don't pick up on. I've basically missed out on a lot of threesomes that I could have been a part of.
OK. Now, in the threesome world, in this zone, because when I was watching this, I mean, it was just a threesome makeout. It wasn't a crazy sex scene or anything, but it was hot. And I did think like, I should probably do that before I die. That seems like something I want to do.
But it's so specific. I only want to do it if it's two guys and me. Oh, OK. And they're just both really into me.
Yes, that's the ideal. Yeah.
So you have to plan it so specifically.
I think you could find that in a second. I don't think that's going to be hard for you. Maybe.
I'm not soliciting. I'm just for our listeners. This isn't like, I'm not putting this out there to strangers.
I mean, put it out in the universe.
I am putting it out in the universe. I think I want to know them. No, no, no. I don't want to know them. I don't want to.
Do a submission form for a website. Like, I definitely don't want to do that. Then I was talking about this. I started talking about it with friends. And people had different opinions of who they would want to be in the threesome.
A lot of people want to come into a couple, which I found interesting. That's not for me.
Would you rather be the couple?
If I had to pick between those two, I'd rather probably be in the couple. But I don't want to be in a couple. I want it to be all singles. This has to happen before there's a relationship. All singles and those two single men are attracted to me.
Yeah.
That's what I want. And they're not doing stuff to each other.
They might do a little. They kissed a little bit in the movie and it was hot.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
You have to watch it. It was one big mix. They're all making out at once, at one point, which was kind of interesting. And then she's sort of manipulative in this movie. She's a very interesting character.
But so they're all making, like, they're kissing her. And then she sort of, like, backs away so that they end up just kissing each other. So who do you want to be, if you could design it?
So I have a lot of different roles that I've thought about. So I would love to coming to a couple, because it's the best case scenario. You're just, like, they're, like, so happy to see you. You're just there for the night. And then you leave and you don't deal with any of the emotional stuff.
You're just this, like, fun little treat. I would love that. And I also have a weird... I have this fear of being cheated on and also a fantasy of cheating.
Do you think they're related? Maybe. Because of the fear? You know, like, why we like horror movies. Right.
Because, like, we're scared, but we kind of want to live that out in a way. And, like, in a way that you have control over.
Yes. Oh, that's a good idea. Okay, that's probably it. Because in the fantasy, it's happening, but I'm, like, in control.
It's not happening to you.
You're doing it. I'm doing it. Oh, that's interesting. Okay, you help resolve that for me. So I have that, too.
But I don't have a preference in terms of the genders. I think I would just be excited, whatever's happening. But I like the idea. I do think there's something very luxurious and, like, I don't know, pleasurable, indulgent about, like, two servants. I know.
Yeah.
That's how it felt in the movie. Like, they're just obsessed with her. And I wouldn't love that practically. But sexually, that would be fun, of course.
Right. Practically, it would be annoying. I mean, would you take—?
Well, it ends up getting very complicated, as it would be, yes.
But I think it's a thing where I think I haven't been— We have to be open to it. That's all.
Well, that's true. I would probably have to be fairly, like—.
Planted out?
Kind of, because I'm not open— I'm not thinking about that ever in life. I'm not thinking about sex at all in life, walking through it. Generally, unless something exciting happens. So, I don't know. They'd have to be so hot.
It would just be for sex. Like, obviously, that's the only purpose of a threesome. It's not for falling in love.
Some—.
That seems so complex. That's exactly. what I don't want, is emotions. Because then the whole thing gets fucked up.
Yeah. I think what feels stressful about being the couple and bringing someone in is that you have no idea. And I think that's my fear with it. That I might think it's fine, and then something happens in there. that then means I'm not.
And then it, like—.
And watching your partner. I don't know about that.
I'd have to be sure that they really don't— Let's say we're bringing in a woman, that her personality is not good. Like, I have to know that there's no way they're going to get along beyond this.
For me, I just want it to be two guys, always.
Okay, so you're not interested any other way around. There's no world where, like, that would happen. What? Where there's another woman. And a guy.
I mean, it might— Probably not, because the point to entry for me doing this in general is, like—.
Hot guys?
Well, no. It's just, hi. It's going to be hard enough for me to find myself in this situation to begin with. And if I'm already, like, eh, then I'm definitely not. Since I feel eh about it being two girls, that's not going to happen.
Okay, got it, got it, got it, got it.
Right? You know what I mean?
And you've never seen a woman that you're like, oh, she's— Like, you're really, like, on the Kinsey scale, like a zero.
Well, I don't know if I'm a zero. I mean, I definitely think women are pretty, but— Yeah, I don't.
You're not— Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not interested. Yeah.
But also mixed in with that is, I don't want to feel like I'm competing. And if it's two women, I don't think you can help but do that. I think men, they might have that sense of competition, but they also, like, have big egos, and I feel like they could get over it. Especially if they're strangers.
Sure. Do you think that guys fantasize about that, or is that just, like, a pure female fantasy? Because, like, guys fantasize about, I think, threesomes with two women.
Of course. For sure. Yeah.
But that one of, like, two guys just like— No.
Straight men probably don't fantasize about that. But I think they do it. I don't think they're like, ew, I would never. I think that's still— Because it's, like, a heightened sexual experience, I think they do it. Do you know anyone who's had one?
A threesome? Should we call them?
Well, Jez has. I asked him, he was like, yeah, I've had a lot.
My friend just had one at Burning Man.
How was the genders?
It was the couple and her, and it was, like, during the whole mud situation, too, so it was high stakes.
Oh, they thought they were gonna die.
Yes, which made it even better. And then she just was, like, hanging out with them, and then they ended up back at their camp or tent or whatever, and then it just kind of happened.
Did she like it?
Yes, she did, actually.
Interesting.
Yeah. I mean, do we have a question? Not really. We're just gonna call them up and be like—.
Yeah, probably. I don't want to put anyone on the spot, either. Also, there's, like, no— There is no question. It's just, like, oh, wow. Anyhow, so that was my hot pin.
I love it.
It was fun. I definitely recommend the movie. I think La Chimera is a better movie, probably, but Challengers was hot. I think it's good to watch.
I'll watch it. I saw your couple's therapy, the new season.
Oh, my god. Oh, speaking of— Well, not really, but they have a polycule.
Exactly, that's what it made me think of.
But that's not a threesome. Exactly. We have to be clear. Right. Orna told us that when she was here.
They're not a throuple. Right. Because they're not all together.
Do you think— Okay, so, if you have a wedding invite and you get a plus one, but you're in a trouple—?
Oh. Or a polycule.
Are you entitled to a plus two? Or is that, like—?
No. No. Definitely not. No? But that's an interesting question.
The polycule is different because the three aren't hanging— I mean, sometimes they are hanging out, but that's not the point of the relationship. The point is these two are a couple, and then, separately, these two are a couple.
Yeah.
But a throuple, that's different. And if you're— What would you do if— Yeah.
I feel like if I was in a trouble and my friend was like, here's a plus one, I'd be like, are you really my friend?
No. It's hard enough to even invite, have a plus one. Each individual person at a wedding costs so much money for the people throwing the wedding. It's expensive.
But I think it should be no plus one or bring— making you choose which partner you're going to bring. I mean, that's a tough convo.
I guess if I was in a throuple and I was invited to a wedding, I had a plus one, I would tell my boyfriends. They would have to decide.
Wait, I kind of love this for you. You should have two boyfriends. Have you ever thought about that? No. I don't even have one boyfriend.
How can I possibly have two?
I think you should entertain it. That just sounded right to me. Coming out of my mouth. It just sounded correct.
My boyfriends? Well, it probably sounded correct because I talk about Ben and Matt as being my boyfriends.
But no, it felt right on a visceral level. Anyway, something to think about.
Well, who knows where this life will take me. But I would put it in their hands. I would say you two— I have a plus one, you two decide. If you both don't want to come, I'll invite Jess.
Sounds like a fun plus one.
I know, he's the best plus one. Yeah, I thought about that after we went to Carlsbad that I thought was Palm Springs. on our little 24-hour adventure, Jess and I. I was like, man, well, this is so funny because the first thought I had when I was going and I was like, I don't want to go. And it was before he had offered to go.
We talked about this here. I was like, this is why people have partners. So they can just like have a buddy all the time. And then Jess came and it was incredible and it was so fun. And then I was like, if I had a partner, I wouldn't have brought Jess.
And that sucks. And then what happens if I do have a boyfriend or boyfriends? They're just going to have to be fine with Jess coming to everything.
I think that's normal. Also, there's plenty of— I mean, it was on a weekday. Your boyfriends might be working. It would have been totally fine for you to— not fine, but like even great that you bring, Jess. You don't have to bring your boyfriends everywhere.
My boyfriends might get— I don't know how they're going to feel. They could get mad because I might be like, well, Jess is coming to everything. Oh, because you prefer—.
But you're comparing—.
Well, I don't know who they are.
Yeah, exactly.
I just mean Jess is a staple and like I'm not gonna not have him around or like go to dinner with him a lot or like go do things with him. My boyfriends can come too, but that's going to be part of the package a little bit.
That's great. I think that's normal. You shouldn't stop hanging out with your friends just because you have two boyfriends.
I'm going to be so busy.
You're going to be busy. That is the thing.
Yeah, there's a lot of people in this scenario.
If you had two boyfriends, would you want to be all living together, or are they separate? And do they have other girlfriends?
No. In this case, no. I don't like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that we all live together.
I see it.
I don't see it. I mean, like this is so not— It's not for me. In couples therapy, even the polycule, which is not a thruple, seems so complicated and hard. And spoiler, he's sitting there with the two of them and he has his hands on both of them and, like sometimes in the middle, will like kiss one of them. And I'm like, what?
I mean, I'm old and, I guess, really conservative. It's just hard for me to imagine feeling open in that situation.
You have to talk so much. Already, being in a relationship, you're talking all the time about your relationship. I mean, good and bad, but like double that. That's so exhausting. And you're talking about the other relationship with the other relationship.
It's a lot of talking. I commend people who can do it.
Me too.
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All right. Well, let's do some questions. Okay. Oh, this is good. Okay.
This is from Anonymous. My husband is calling his mom mommy and it's giving me the ick. Hey, Liz and Monica. My husband and I just moved in with my in-laws and we've got one little girl and another one on the way. We've been figuring out the new dynamic.
It's honestly been so nice to be with them and I've always gotten along great with his parents. As we've been trying to establish boundaries with our daughter, my husband has gone back and forth between calling me mom with her and referring to his mom as mom instead of grandma. I get that it's probably confusing for his brain, since she is his mom and that's what he calls her. However, he started to call both me and his mother mommy occasionally to our toddler, and now it's happening more often that he calls his mom mommy when he's talking to me about his mom. It's not the end of the world and I could probably just point it out in a joking way and he'd stop, but it gives me such an ick to hear this 30-year-old man call his mother mommy and be so casual about it.
How do you guys think I should go about bringing it up? I don't want to cause ripples or make him feel dumb, but it's so weird to hear him call her that. Can't wait to hear your thoughts and what the sync squad has to say. I get it. That would ick me out.
But because it's new, I think you could call it out. If it's an old thing, then I think you'd just have to kind of be like, hmm, this is weird, but this is what their relationship is. But since it's new, I think you could just be like, do you notice? you've been calling your mom mommy a lot? I would just say it like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hope everyone can laugh at it. Who knows where that'll go? He might be like, yeah. Is that a problem? You know, who knows?
Yeah, I would just straight up say it.
Same. And I think you're so right. Do it early. Because what's hard is that if you suppress it and then it goes on and on and on, then he'll be embarrassed that he said it for that long. Cut it early.
What about daddy? Is daddy less bad than mommy?
I think it's less bad, but that's because we're women and that's probably unfair. It's not less bad. Really? Yeah, it sounds just as gross to me. Okay.
I call my dad, I still call him daddy.
Is that bad? It's not bad.
But see, I don't say mommy. To me, daddy is like, daddy, it's like a fun, playful. And with my mom, I don't say mommy. Like, that's. so, I don't know, it has a connotation of like being a baby.
Right.
I mean, they both have connotations. Yeah, they each have like, also weird sexual.
Oedipal stuff. Yes. But none of us are having sex with our parents. It's fine.
But I would have to say something. Okay, what if you were dating someone? and then they said, Liz, you call your dad daddy? Would you feel embarrassed?
I would. But then I would be, I would be like, oh, it would make me a little sad that I had to give that up. Yeah, it feels in a way of like, there's like a deep meaning to it. I think of like, oh, I'm still a kid. And somehow if I'm old now, then that means my dad's going to die.
It goes real quick.
Yeah. To like, oh, you're.
But do you have, okay, Kat from like the age of literally like the first grade called her parents by their first name. No, that's insane. Swear to God.
When she was little? Little. She still does that.
Of course. But like when we were little, it was never mom and dad. It was like.
I know people who called their parents by their first name when they're talking about them. And it's a little bit in jest, but I don't know anyone who calls their parents by their first name to them.
Yeah, it's funny, right?
Very funny. If my kid did that, I would kill myself. That would make me so sad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should do a prank to our parents when we go home and just calling, hey, and then film them turning around. Because you've seen students have done that with teachers where they prank their teachers by being like, hey, Brandel. And then he, like Mr. Robinson, turns around.
He's like, it's Mr.
Yeah, well, that's just disrespectful. It is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't you think most parents, well, sentimental parents anyway, probably remember when their kids stopped calling them daddy or mommy? I mean, I think I would remember.
What do you call your mom? Mom. Okay, mom and dad. Interesting.
I think that must have happened, young, I think.
Teenager?
Oh, earlier than that. Really? I think.
Oh, my God.
Probably middle school, maybe like fifth or sixth grade. I can't remember the last time I called my dad daddy. I really can't. But I definitely did. It probably coincided with the times that, like I used to like before bed, like go find my dad and like say good night and kiss him good night.
And then that stopped too. And it probably all happened at like the same time. What a horrible day for him.
That's so sad.
It's part of, I mean, I never stopped, though.
If you start saying dad now to your dad, is he going to be so sad?
My dad doesn't notice a lot of things, but I think you would notice it.
When you talk about your dad, you say my dad. I've never heard you say my daddy.
So my daddy, I mean, that would be weird. Do people do that?
Well, my guess is they do, if that's what they're used to calling them.
Well, that's his name to me, but I'm not like, and probably honestly, no. Even when I had boyfriends around, I still would call him dad. I was like, I just can't call him anything else. Weirdly, what I did when I was around that age, I started calling him poo-poo.
I swear to God. And like poops, like make it short. I just call them poops.
And he did not like that.
Of course.
Who wants to be called poo-poo?
No one wants that. French is papa. So I think I just made it fun, like poo-poo. And he just was like, I don't get it.
Wait, so did you call him by the French?
Both, you know, because I speak English and French. And I think there's that too, of mama. There's not really a shorthand for that in French. There's not like a cooler, like dad.
Well, in England, and so then in India, my mom called my grandpa papa and then her mom mummy. And that's English. But that didn't feel kidlike. But remember, on the Princess Diana casket, there's like a card from the boys and it says mummy on it, or mom, or something. I know it's so sad.
Oh, I guess mom.
Yeah. Anyway, that's really sad. But yeah. Okay, so, bring it up. I think you can bring it up, since it's new.
He'll want to know.
But the thing is, if he says it's really important to me that I call her that. Like. if you say to your boyfriend, like, it's really important to me that I call him that because he might die if I don't. Then you're going to have to be like, okay, that's it.
It seems like it's just a, there's a lot going on. Yeah. And he didn't notice. Feels like it's that kind of situation.
Okay. How are you going to feel if you have kids with someone and they start referring to you as mom? Like, this is common, right? That everyone does this.
That's what my parents do too.
Yeah. Like dad called, mom called, whatever. It'll be a weird shift, I think.
I never thought about what that was like for them. being a kid. You don't think about any of it. You're just like.
There's critical moments where these things shift over. I think I would feel, I'm going to feel mixed about it. Oh, this is sweet because we're family. I'm mom. This is dad.
This is baby. But also you don't want to just become mom to your husband and vice versa.
I think it does happen. And then it can, you want to preserve the relationship, you know?
Rob? We don't call each other mom and dad. But you would say to Calvin, like, go see mom. Yeah.
It's in the vernacular.
Your identity is changing, though, when you have kids. So you're taking on mom and dad. So it's kind of natural feeling.
It's like an additional role, not a replacement.
But I think in many dynamics, it is a replacement.
Yeah.
And that can get tricky, I think. For sure.
And the kids become everything, and preserving the relationship is hard. Yeah.
You know what's funny? It's like, I never hear my mom address my dad by his name. When she talks about him in public or something, she'll say his name. But to him, she like, doesn't address him.
They don't say each other's names?
My dad does. My dad calls her Nimi. He has a nickname for her. But she never says, like, Ashok. I think she just says, like, hey.
If she's, like, shouting to him, she is just like, hey.
Really? I think so.
That's so funny. It's not great. I have very little memories of her saying his name out loud. Wow.
I think also nicknames are fun. So my niece, for some reason, I think she would hear me and my sister say daddy. And so she started calling my dad Addy. Oh, that's cute. And so now we all call him Addy.
It was, like, a few years into this. And we're like, do you mind that you're Addy? Like, Mila, would do these placemats or, like, these, like, letters. And then Addy would be there. And we were like, do you mind that?
And he's like, no, I kind of like that, like, my own nickname. Yeah. For everyone, it's, like, standards. Adopted dad. But, like, you, have a special one.
Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. What does she call your mom?
Mamie and Addy. Mamie is, like, the French version for grandma.
Oh, it is. I think nicknames are cute.
I like nicknames a lot.
I also like nicknames that evolve over time. Yeah. Like, there's a group of people in my life who call me Mon. And that's indicative of a time. And now, like, the pod, calls me Monnie, which is indicative of a time, and a group.
Like, it's interesting how it bops around. And maybe I said this, but, like, once, I was dating this person quickly, and they tried to call me Mo. And I was like, nope, that's not. Gonna work for me.
Mo is not you.
It's really not me at all. What are yours?
Ellie. Well, because...
Is that your nieces?
No, that's my nickname.
Your niece is getting all kinds of nicknames. Ellie.
Ellie. Because it's Elizabeth, and the shorthand is Ellie. And Ellie.
People call you Ellie?
Everyone calls me Ellie. Yeah, in Quebec.
Is it weird to be Liz?
I think it was weird to them. For a while, they were like, hey, Liz. Like, it was, like, a joke.
Stupid, American Liz.
At the same time, I chose it. The first times I went on TV, and they were like, what do you want for your car on? I think I did a poll with my friends. I was like, do I say Elizabeth Plank, or do I go by Liz Plank? And they were like, Liz Plank is better.
When was this?
When I moved to America in, like, 2013.
So you've only been Liz since 2013.
Pretty much. I mean, I went to university in English, and there, people started... Even though I never called myself Liz, they would kind of call me Liz, but I never introduced myself as Liz.
You would say Elizabeth.
Elizabeth. I mean, maybe by the end of university, so many people were calling me Liz, that maybe I started... If I was speaking to someone in English, I would say Liz, but it really started when I moved.
It's a new name.
Kind of.
Do you feel like you've embodied it?
I don't know. You tell me.
I mean, it's hard to know what's, like, chicken or the egg, but I do not see you as an Elizabeth.
Actually, me neither.
Liz feels very accurate. So that's great.
Did you have a nickname growing up?
Mon. But my parents didn't. They call me Monica. They've always... That's it.
There was no.
. Pet name.
No pet name. Mon happened with my friends, and that was very standard. Like, they all call me. that still. Like Callie, and...
It's funny on the connections chain, because it's Callie, Max, her husband, Robbie, who's my friend from home as well, and Dax and me. And so Robbie and Callie call me Mon, and Dax calls me Monnie. And so, like, so they're all saying it, and it's funny all in one place. I like it, though, when... Specifically, because I don't see Robbie all the time.
He lives in Georgia. So when he says it, it's a reminder of that time, and I like it.
It's such a sweet.
. You're right. It sort of harkens back to a time. There's like a warmth and a specific feeling, right? That is brought up.
Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Okay, let's see. Okay. In-laws gifting my husband a house and explicitly keeping my name off ownership.
This is from Natasha. Hi, Monica and Liz. My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 11.. We have three children together and own two properties. My in-laws are planning on gifting a house to my husband and explicitly keeping my name off ownership.
I know the gift is part of distributing their wealth now rather than after their death. My issue is not the gift being given to my husband, but rather the sticky situation of me contributing to whatever mortgage is left on the property, unknown to me, ongoing repairs of the property, and my contribution to an asset that ultimately won't belong to me. We are in our late 30s, so we have a long time left to care for this property. I also assume this arrangement is being put in place in case my husband and I divorce, which makes me feel icky. I have moved internationally to be closer to my husband's family.
I work full-time and make a good wage. This situation has really bummed me out. What are your thoughts on this? Thank you. Of course it bums you out.
Of course. That would really bum me out.
Yeah.
I'm sure they're just trying to be extremely practical. Yeah. This is very, like, lawyerly. It's like a prenup. It's the similar thing where emotionally it feels horrible, but practically it's kind of like the smart thing to do.
I'm sure that's the way the parents are looking at this. Like, practically we should just put it in our kid's name. But of course it hurts your feelings. And then the contribution part is tricky. If you're paying into the mortgage and then it's not technically yours, that's weird.
Well, why are you paying into the mortgage if you don't own it?
Does it technically matter if they get divorced, it's still shared assets, whether it's in her name or not? If it's an inheritance, then no. That is probably why. They want to make sure that it's his regardless.
I feel like inheritance is different. It's a little bit like student debt or, like, I feel like there are some things that are kind of separate. I understand you feel left out, but it feels like that's okay to be separate.
You think this is different from an inheritance?
Well, isn't this an inheritance? That's what it sounds like.
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