Want To Learn To Build Wealth? Start Here

Hi, Danielle. How are you?

We've done an itemized statement on a couple of them that he's been taken to court to. My question would be, as a godly wife, you know, I've been doing your program for like 13 to 15 years, so thank you for all your help. I've got a house, a car, and everything is fine on my end, but on his end, it is not. And I am not sure what is, like, my responsibility financially as a godly wife, and how to get him to talk to me about finances. He won't do it with you.

He just doesn't like you at all. I'm sorry. That's okay. But what do I do? You know what I'm saying?

They're telling me, the combined pastors are telling me that, you know, we're in there for sickness and health and richer and poorer and stuff like that. That's what we took our vows for. I don't remember that part, but, you know, I mean, I was a little nervous. But my point is, is that I don't know what I'm supposed to do, what I'm not supposed to do, how I'm going to get him to talk. You have any words of wisdom for that?

Because I don't want to share my accounts with him. if he's going to continue to pull out money and use it on whatever he's using it for, because it ain't coming here. I don't know.

That is not in there. Okay. It's not in the Bible. So what do I do? It's not in the Bible.

. The Bible does say, submit yourselves one to another.

All the money comes through my name, but it's our money, and we make all the decisions together. She has an equal vote with me on it. I've submitted to her. She's submitted to me. And the reason I did submit to her, by the way, is Proverbs 31 says, who can find a virtuous wife?

The heart of her husband safely trusts her, and he will have no lack of gain.

Isn't that interesting? So I've had no lack of gain once I started safely trusting the heart of my wife. Now, sometimes my wife gets bad pizza the night before and blames it on the Holy Spirit, okay? She ain't perfect. She ain't perfect.

Right. So we do have to sit down and talk through stuff. Sometimes we have a good hillbilly argument, but we, at the end of it, we're not moving forward with things that are destructive to our family, against the wishes of the other spouse. So you have a pretty serious marriage problem, kiddo. I think you need to go see a good marriage counselor, and a pastor that tells you to shut up and go along with stupidity is not a good marriage counselor.

He's 64 years old, and he wants to go through bankruptcy to get rid of his debt. That's not taking responsibility, and I'm like, do not do that.

Danielle, and Dave's right. You have a marriage problem, and I think this guy is exhibiting behavior of a guy who doesn't want to be married to you. And I do think the counseling is the way to go, because we've got to get an objective environment where he can't hide, and he can't bully with some statement, but I am afraid that he doesn't want to be married, period. And I'm not in any way trying to hurt you, but I'm going to speak to you, like you were my sister, and I would do the counseling with eyes wide open to find out if this guy really does want to be married. And I'm afraid he doesn't, and we're going to find out.

And I think that, again, I'm with Dave, I wouldn't tell you to walk out now. I would go all in and try. But you get to a certain point here where this guy either has to decide to heal his destructive behavior because he wants to be married to you, and at some point you guys are going to have to combine everything to finally be unified. But that's down the road. This is a dumpster fire, and I hate that for you, but I want you to at least know that.

You deserve better. This is the Ramsey Show.

Buying your first home is a big deal and sets the stage for your financial success. So, work with a mortgage advisor you trust, not just some random website. Churchill Mortgage is Ramsey Trusted because they help you avoid hidden traps and expertly guide you through every step. Learn more at churchillmortgage.com.

Brentwood, Tennessee 37027.

So, not only do you get the assessment, you get the book to teach you how to read the assessment and what to take away from it. So, be sure and pick that up at ramseysolutions.com. Jack is in New York. Hi, Jack. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

So, I'm investing in good-growth stock mutual funds that are growing like a weed, and you need to be. You're broke.

And so, I'm not trying to scare you. I don't want you to panic, but you do need to get with it, as you said, and you recognize that. That's why you called. So, what I would do is this. The thing I have figured out is there's two things that we are afraid of, and fear is a positive thing in these situations.

The number one thing we're afraid of is something we don't understand. So, the first time you sat behind the wheel of a car, I distinctly remember I was 12, and Dad said, move the car around back. I left no gravel in the driveway. No one told me you weren't supposed to press down on the accelerator all the way to the floor, because I didn't know what I was doing. So, driving a car, I didn't know how to do it.

I was afraid, and I was really afraid after I screwed it up, right? But now, we all have been driving cars for decades, and we drive and don't think anything about it. It's like muscle memory. So, you learn how to do the thing, and you're no longer afraid of it. The second thing you're afraid of is something that will legitimately hurt you.

If you're standing in the middle of the interstate, you should be afraid. an 18-wheeler is going to turn you into a bug, right? And so, yeah, a bear is standing in front of you. You should be afraid. That's a good thing, but the other is just.

you're afraid because you don't know how, and that's the investing thing. That's wisdom, but it's something that can be overcome. I don't want to overcome my fear of bears. They will eat you, but I do want to overcome my fear of things I don't understand that can help me, and the fear goes away with knowledge. So, sit down with a good SmartVestor Pro, click that at Ramsey Solutions, and let the guys that we recommend begin to teach you and gradually start to understand, and as your confidence builds, then you'll easily increase the amount of money you start pouring into retirement-type investments, and you won't have to worry about the whole idea of conservative versus whatever, bullcrap, something you read on the Internet, right?

Lack of knowledge will knock you out, man. I mean, that's ridiculous. You can just stick your head in the sand, and I'm not talking about Jack here. I'm just saying in general. But, yeah, it's a big deal to know new things all the time.

Angela's with us in Knoxville. Hi, Angela, how are you?

I purchased FPU at that event, never did anything with it, like a dummy. And so, basically, I'm in $30,000 in debt. About 18 of that is my car and another seven in credit card debt, and I owe five to a family member. And so my question is, I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about, once I get to Baby Step 2, because I'm going to be finishing Baby Step 1 next month, and then in August I'm going to start tackling the debt. My car has about 250,000 miles, and I use my car right now to make a living.

And so my concern is if I start tackling the smaller debts first, and then my car breaks down and the transmission goes out or something, and I can't fix it, and I don't know if I should be saving more in my Step 1 for that. That's kind of where I'm stuck, and I just wanted your input.

Okay. No, I mean, we're worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. It's a reasonable thing to worry about, because those things may occur, but I'm not going to change the game plan here. If you have a problem, you may have to stop your baby steps and address the problem, but until you do, you were already broke before you started this, and now you're just running broke trying to actually do some good and climb out, right?

They just didn't need me anymore, and so I've been door-dashing like 72 hours a week ever since. Wow. And I have another job that I started, but they're just trickling me in with work. I'm not full-time with it, yet. Once I do, that should be about 72 a year.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Selling a house the Ramsey way, buying a house the Ramsey way makes homeownership a blessing instead of a curse. The Ramsey Trusted Program is the only way to find a real estate agent you can trust to keep you on track with what we teach here at Ramsey. Now, we do not put real estate agents in our endorsed program unless we have vetted them and they're high-performance, high-octane. It's not your Aunt Sally who got her license last week and she was selling Pampered Chef right before that.

Now, this is somebody that actually sells a lot of houses. They actually know what they are doing in order to become Ramsey Trusted Agents. So, if you want to find out who we recommend in your area and get your place sold, or maybe help you get something bought, check it out, Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agent. You can do it for free, RamseySolutions.com slash agent. Melanie is in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Hi, Melanie. How are you?

She moved in from Vermont, didn't have a place to go, and so my husband let her move in to that house. 2020 hit, my husband's in the Army, didn't get a certain something that everyone was demanded they were told to get, and he lost his job. He said he was going to sell the house. She told him that God told her it is his job to take care of her because he is the son. So, he bought a new house in the town down the road, and she still lives currently in the same house.

We are expecting our second one in October, and I'm self-employed. My husband's still in the Army, but we came mutually to the decision that in August, because my job is pretty physical, that I'm going to stop working, and then I'm only probably going to go back maybe one or two days a week. And so, it would be very helpful to have an actual income coming in from that house. She pays half of the mortgage. My husband pays $450,000, and his one brother gives $150,000 worth it.

It's kind of a sticky situation. There's six siblings between all of them, and everyone else has had their opportunity to grow and expand their family. My husband is the last one out of the six to be married and have kids. So, we don't want to kick her out, but she….

Okay. We'll help her do that with a little bit of money, and we'll use some of the money from the sale of the house. You need to sell the house.

And I said, no, he didn't. He didn't tell you that. He said, what do you mean? I said, he absolutely did not tell you that, because if he had told you that, he would have told me, and there would be a van sitting out there for you. But he didn't tell me.

So I'm always interested as a Christian for people who play the God card with such authority, and all they are is a manipulator. This has nothing to do with honoring your mother. When they say honor your father and your mother, it doesn't say honor their misbehavior. It says honor the office of motherhood, the office of fatherhood. If your mom does cocaine and wants you to buy it for her, that is not a godly act.

She's got issues.

Yeah, I like that.

But you have milked this cow, and it is dry. And you're not milking anymore, Mom. We're done. Well, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap. No, Mom, you're confused.

I said we're done, and I wasn't kidding. We are done. You are moving. You're either going to move gently and kindly with my assistance, or I'm going to set you in the street with the sheriff. Now, do you want to play this the easy way or the hard way?

You've reached the end of my patience. I am done. I love you. I'm going to help you as best I can. But you living here is not going to happen anymore.

He needs to have the backbone to say that.

And you don't need to be in the room.

You're losing respect for your husband. He's losing respect for himself because he won't stand up to this mom. that's out of control. And it's not biblical. Automatically, you have to write checks for somebody who doesn't do stuff.

I mean, I want him to take care of her to the point he can. That'd be sweet. It's a charitable act. But it is not a biblical mandate. God did not tell her that he was to furnish her a house.

That's an absolute load of religious crap. That's what that is. And, man, I love my brothers and sisters in Christ, but some of you people are over-saved. This is The Ramsey Show.

I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly, and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through, how am I going to pay my bills? How am I going to eat next week?

Yeah, in the middle of all that grief. It's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids, that I'm so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much, because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies.

It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You've got to say it out loud, and you've got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. It costs no stinkin' pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282..

That's 800-356-4282, or go to zander.

com.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. We could use your help, folks. If you want to help us out, we need your help. Click, subscribe where you're listening or follow where you're listening and follow the show, subscribe to the show. It helps big time.

The numbers enter into the algorithm on these platforms, and it causes them to push the show forward and push it out to other people. And thank you. When you subscribe and when you follow, it's a big deal. When you share the show, if it's got a share button, do that, or just cut the link and send it to somebody and say, check this out, or just tell somebody about us. We appreciate that.

We know you're doing it, because our numbers are way up. So thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the movement and the spreading of the word. We're here to help you. It's what we do.

And the more people we can help, the better we like our lives. And so thank you so much for that. And, of course, leaving those five-star reviews, those are helpful too. Valentina is with us in Atlanta, Georgia. Hi, Valentina.

How are you?

I did not buy it the Ramsey way, so I only put 5% down. And so I have a PMI.

I didn't pay the 20%, so that's basically my question.

. That's the total.

If I visit you three years from now, are you going to be making a lot more, a little more, or no more?

and even if you did some things to create some extra income until your income comes on up, your house payment's probably manageable. Is there another reason you're selling the house other than you feel like you didn't put enough down or the house payment's straining you?

But the house didn't keep you from doing that. Your husband didn't want to leave.

Did he?

He doesn't want to live by the beach. You didn't take the job because your husband didn't want to leave.

And then you turn around, well, the house kept me. The house didn't keep you there. You could have sold the house and left. If both of you were jacked up and jumping up and down and, you know, fireworks going off and you're so excited, you get to go to Miami beach. Life is great.

That house would have been gone. And you would not looked in the rear view mirror once.

And I don't think if we were to run those numbers, it would make any sense for them to sell and just move into renting. No. I think that's actually a bad decision. You're not lowering your cost, your budgetary items. So I like the advice you gave there.

I think that's a better play, allows them to continue to build equity.

But both of you need to be excited about where you're going and quit looking at jobs and areas he's not going to go to. So the two of y'all ought to talk about it before you start talking about interviewing for something. But don't interview in a city that he says, I'm not going to. So the two of y'all got to talk this through. Something's got to give here.

And you've got good possible career moves that you can do in Georgia or not in Georgia. And, but you got to get on the same path here. There's a lot of wandering around in this conversation.

Because that, to me, turns into a lot of tension, a lot of resentment, and the money tension, the lack of margin, makes all that worse. It's kind of like pouring a little kerosene on that, on that leaf fire out there, to get it to go up. And that's what I'm concerned about in this particular situation, because it's real.

And then the two of them sit there and look at it and go, we're this far apart. We start there. Then, I think, a godly marriage counselor, a pastor or an actual therapist to go, we have two very different futures in mind. And now we've got to figure out what life looks like when we want to be together, how we get there. Can we both get there at the same time?

Probably not. But this is a piece by piece walk through. Okay. We decided to get married. We love each other, but we both want different things.

And so how can we meet in the middle here and actually get both of those things? So is it Miami? We put that on the list. He's going, no, I want to be in the Georgia mountains. I'm making that up.

And we, okay. All right. What are we actually talking about here? Well, she wants to be near the ocean. You, you want a rural situation.

Yeah. How big of a deal is it? Who's sacrificing on what, what are our professional goals? Where do we want us to put our money? How do we want to invest?

What do we want retirement to look like? I think you got to get all that on the same page and see how far apart you are and then go. All right. Where are we going to give a little bit? Because both people have to give something.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual, amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. He's a bestselling author of several books, including his latest. Find the work you're wired to do.

The get clear assessment is included. Now we're going to be talking about your life, your money, your income, your outgo and anything else you want to dig into. We're here for you. The phone number is 888-825-5225.. Nathan's, in Springfield, Missouri.

Hey, Nathan, how are you?

So if, in fact, a company's healthy and there's a good outlook, then the raise conversation isn't happening in August if it's been made clear that they're not doing that this year. So now it's, what does it take? What do I need to do? Where do I need to grow? What skills can I add to my tool belt in order to be a candidate for a promotion and for more responsibility?

That's the question you have to ask. That's a humble question. That's not in any way arrogant, because it's got to be about, hey, as my leader, where do you see that I have an opportunity to add some more tools to the tool belt, which one specifically could be valuable to this company? As you look at me and my 13 years here, my last review, I want to be a guy who is growing, and that's in my skill, so that I can add responsibility. And with added responsibility, we hold more compensation.

So if you come at it that way, you're not going to look like a jerk. You're not going to look like a pinhead. And you're going to find out if you've got a pretty healthy leader that has some margin in the company to go, okay, here's what you can do. That's what you're looking for. Now, if you don't get a good answer there, meaning there's not a whole lot of things you can do, there's not room for growth.

That doesn't mean that you throw your hands in there and leave. What it means is, is you've got a couple of options. You look for a place where you have some room for growth. And the other thing is, is in your line of work, my friend, freelancing is a really viable option for you. As long as there's no conflict of interest or, or a non-compete, this is above board stuff I'm talking about.

That's valuable to the company. And two is what are you worth in the marketplace? And so I, the reason they put a 2% cap on raises is either they're not making money or they're trying to run their stock price up before they take it public, or something. Okay. They're trying because payroll is your largest expense in any business.

So they're trying to limit the increases. However, they have another problem. Let's say that you were in one of the explosive areas of technology and your marketplace value went from 90 to where you'd have 20 different companies offering you 150..

Well, they're 2% raise. idea. That memo is worthless, because everyone that has your job is going to leave. If they don't violate the 2% rule that they put on, that they made up out of thin air. Okay.

And so if a marketplace is dictating that you are worth 120, 150, they're going to lose. everyone that's in a similar position if they don't adjust to market. And so, you know, and they may, they may be willing to do that. I don't know, but you're, you know, one way when you're in a job, one measure is always, what can they replace you? for?

If you leave and they have to pay somebody 120 to come into the role, then you're, you know, your, their replacement cost on you is 120.

. Then they have a real reason to do that. That's right. That's what I'm saying by marketplace study. And so I would go in, like Ken said, with some actual comp studies and go, look, guys, here's what this is happening.

And I'm willing to work with you. I want to, I'm not trying to blackmail anybody. I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I'm just saying that this position now, it looks to me like, am I looking at it wrong? Tell me if I'm looking at it wrong, but it looks to me, like this position is paying 120, 150,000 somewhere else.

And, um, they may say, go, we'll go, take it. And in which case I would, I would, if they say that, but, um, but, but they may also just not be informed because the technology sector, uh, we've experienced it here at Ramsey. The, the comp studies, we do them quarterly. Then it moves, it moves rather rapidly up and down. And the, um, there was a time that it was just shooting straight up.

And then there's a time where it kind of adjusted backward a little bit. So, um, you know, just look at it and ask them, this is what I'm seeing. What are y'all seeing? And they're probably not even looking at it. So I agree.

I'm just looking at this. and what are y'all seeing? Tell me, tell me what's happening here. And you know, how can I help? And how can I add more value?

I'd love to be a blessing to this place. And, uh, tell me, Hawk, and very few people get mad at you when you're doing that. This is the Ramsey show.

And you have to do the same thing too. Together. We can show up and be strong in all of this chaos. So don't skip the things that matter to you, including therapy. And when it comes to therapy, call my friends at better help.

Better help is a hundred percent online therapy staffed with licensed therapists. It's convenient, flexible, and suited to fit your schedule. Therapy can help you learn positive coping skills, set boundaries and learn ways to find peace in the chaos. Be sure to put your oxygen mask on first and never skip therapy day. Call my friends at better help.

Visit better help.

com slash Deloney today for 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P.com slash Deloney.

It includes the get clear assessment. Now, the get clear assessment has helped almost a hundred thousand people that took it, um, learn what they are good at and what they love, and how to put all that together, who you are, the way you're wired and what you want to do professionally, how to get there. All of that comes out of this assessment. And the book is there to help you read the assessment and properly apply the findings from it. It includes the get clear assessment.

So don't, you don't have to buy the get clear assessment separately anymore. The best way to do is buy the book, and it comes with the get clear assessment, comes with a code. And, Ken, you can take the assessment, and what about 20 minutes,

And, um, then the book itself is, like me, coaching you with your results. Now, you know who you are. So the book comes along and says, all right, now let's see where we can do this thing, that I'm really good at. The stuff that I love, where in the world work. So it helps you with the where and the how, and, uh, it's a really fun little project.

So super simple.

This book does that with the, with the assessment results,

com. You can find all of our products and books and assessments and all kinds of things there. And the find the work you're wired to do. The get clear assessment is what we're talking about. Be sure and check it out.

Grant is with us. Grant is in Tampa, Florida. Hey, Grant, welcome to the Ramsey show.

Yes. I'm going to recommend you step, get the boat closer to the dock,

Yeah.

Yeah. But grownups have to wait.

And I don't have to leap.

Okay. Yeah. And, and then your emergency fund doesn't come into play, because you're not creating an emergency. You create one when you leap, there is no emergency when you step. And so let's get this thing going.

You guys go over there and just really, really work on the jobs, and let's get them going, man.

this day. Job is the stability and the boat that is going to get me to the bigger boat. It's a mindset shift. And if you do that, you'll find that the patience is extended, but it is a complete mental game right now for you. And that's what will keep you patient.

Otherwise, if it's all emotion and I keep thinking about how much I want to work for myself and be with my bro and never work for the man again, you will never be able to wait. Your emotion will rule the day. You've got to reshape this deal.

Hey, Brandon, what's up in your world?

I am have a medical retirement, but I can no longer work and I will no longer be able to work. And so our concern is how do we set ourselves up over the next four or five years to ensure longterm financial independence?

It's. I hear wisdom right now. I don't hear desperation, but if you start panicking about it, then you're going to go do something stupid in an effort to try to leapfrog.

Okay. So, um,

it's hard, it's hard for me to speak intelligently, cause I don't know what she's doing, but I will tell you this. I think you rationalized your butt off on this car. You need to get rid of this car, man. That's bogus. If the only way she can have influence is to be stupid and $60,000 car, then that's a bad idea, man.

So we gotta, we gotta be thinking about some other way to get at this and start getting rid of this car debt. I don't know what kind of money she's making, but if she's making a couple of hundred grand or something, pay the stupid thing off and keep it. But we're not going to finance our way into influence. That's a way to make this temporary, for sure. Um, because your influence is based on hypocrisy, then.

So, um, no, you don't want to go there.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my cohost today in the lobby of Ramsey solutions. You can come by and watch the show anytime you want. We're on every day, Monday through Friday, from one to four central time. Usually have 50 to 200 folks out here eating our free homemade cookies, drinking our free coffee, and I'm watching the show for free, and it's worth every dollar you paid too. I'm just saying.

So. in the lobby also is the debt free stage, and that's where Kyler and Stephanie are, because they're debt free. Way to go, guys. Congratulations. Thank you, Dave.

Well done. Where do y'all live? Chattanooga, Tennessee, Chattanooga, just down the road. Nice little trip. day trip up to Nashville, then.

And how much debt have you guys paid? 123,000.. Very good. And how long did that take? Uh, just over two years, Dave.

Good for you. And your range of income during that time? About, I think it started at 90 and now it's 160.. Cool. What do y'all do for a living?

We have two of the most boring jobs ever. I'm an accountant. And I'm a data analyst, and Ken actually gave great advice and helped me move into this role. Um, about a year and a half ago.

Uh, about 70.

. Okay. So you almost doubled your income because of Ken Coleman. Yep. So what's your cut, Ken?

It's pretty good, man.

How long y'all been married? Uh, just over two years. Okay. So about the time you get married, you looked up and said, this has got to go. Tell us the story.

How's your, I've had it moment unfold. Well, so I was kind of, it took me longer to get on board. The accountant. Yes, I know. But, um, Kyler had actually found your podcast before we got married and then we kind of talked about it before.

I didn't really think he was serious. You hope he wasn't right. I was like, maybe he'll forget about it. But we got married. Um, and then we tried to cashflow a wedding and it was super expensive.

And then we were kind of at a point where he was really pushing it. And I kind of was like, well, I've kind of worked a lot and I kind of just want to enjoy it at first, if I'm being honest. Um, but then I was like, I was remembering when we were trying to cashflow our wedding and I was like making good money, but I was like living, paycheck to paycheck. And I was like, this is miserable. Yeah.

So I kind of thought back on that time and I'm like, we make good money. We don't have kids yet. Like, why don't we just go for it? So, with his help, we kind of started it. It took a lot of, uh, difficult conversations, but also, you know, a lot of graciousness from both of us to be able to come together, and really that was the cornerstone of it all.

Yeah. And as soon as you turn that corner and join arms, boom, game on. Right. Exactly. I mean, but until then it's like, it's pushing the boat, pushing a rock uphill.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Way to go. Very cool.

What kind of debt was the $123,000?

? Uh, just normal stuff. Credit cards, car loans, student loans, um, and the wedding. Of course. Some of the wedding day.

Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Very cool. Very cool.

Yes. Dialed in the numbers for sure. Yes. Cause. I mean, you blew up.

I mean, you did 60K a year for two years. That's pretty impressive. Uh, probably the larger in the back half as you got some raises and stuff, but, but still the average on that strong, uh, starting out at 90 and, and now the one 60 way to go. Y'all way to go.

Cause a lot of people go, man, I don't know if I want to do that. And you did it and you upgraded, which helped you get through quicker. I'd love for people to hear what the psychology was for you going through that switch. Sure.

But, like I said, the job I had, I didn't hate whatsoever, but I'm very blessed with the job that I have now. But you, you were,

So I guess, when you go through like scary stuff like that, I think the best comes out in your partner. So that's cool. Very nice. Very good. Good for you guys.

So what are you going to do now that you're debt free? We're going to actually take a vacation.

So where's the cruise? I think it's to Mexico. Okay. We're just going with a few friends. It was a pretty cheap cruise.

That's what we're doing too this year. Okay. That's great. Good for y'all. Well done.

That's fun. That's fun. So you started the whole thing off, Stephanie, saying, in a sense, I make too much to be this broke. There's a little bit disgust. was your why I'm disgusted with this.

I'm not going to live like this. And that's what finally helped you turn the corner. Now that you're the other side of it is, does that, does it feel like you thought it was going to? like you're free? I think it feels better.

It's like we have so many opportunities in front of us now that we wouldn't have before. I mean, right now we're, we're a Dinkwad family, dual income, no kids with a dog. So like that puts our like future family in a better position too. And like the next move is for us to purchase a house. So it has opened that door greatly and it's just like lifted a whole different burden off our shoulders.

for sure. You can for sure stack cash right now. I mean, you're in a great place. How's it feel to be free? It feels well freeing.

It's, you know, it's, it's really nice. It's reassuring that all the hard work is paid off and we can confidently go into our future and know that we don't owe anybody anything right now. And once we do buy a house, I'm sure that will be paid off as quick as possible too. Yeah. We didn't want to like, you know, we kind of got, I was what 27 when we got married and I kind of felt like that was a little like later on in life, but having like this pause and this reset to like, get us on the right track was better.

And we knew, like, we wanted to set our marriage up for success and we saw the like statistics on like finances being like a huge contributor and divorce. And we were kind of like, that's not going to be us here. Yeah. We're going to, we're going to go ahead and tackle the number. If that's the number one thing, let's get that off the plate.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Very, very good. All right, Stephanie, talk to the person out there who just got married and their husband or their wife is a little Ramsey crazy and they're driving them nuts.

Tell them whether they should do this or not. 100%. Yes. Or I wouldn't be here, but I mean, I would say just hear them out. because truly, like you, guys are on the same team.

If you're married, you're on the same team. If you're working towards that, you're on the same team. You have the same goal or you should. Right. So, like when he was trying to convince me, I kind of had to put, like my internal like thoughts aside and I was like, okay, Kyler just wants the best for me.

He wants the best for us. And if I can put that aside and really see like why, his why on it and his why was just to set us up better financially than it was like a no brainer at that point. So just kind of get all the outside voices out. Whether that be yours or like people who think your other spouse, your spouse, is crazy. Just get it out the door and look at, because truly it's going to come from a place of like.

he has your best interests at heart or they have your best interests at heart. So way to go. Very mature. Good word. Good word.

Well done. Well done. You guys are heroes. Way to go, man.

Touchdown. Yeah. All right. Kyler and Stephanie Chattanooga, Tennessee, 123,000 paid off in two years, newly married and set baby. 90 K to one.

60 was the income range counted down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt free.

Yeah, baby.

Today's question comes from Brian in Washington DC.

The problem is, I don't think that's sustainable longterm. I'm not really sure where to go with regarding my work life balance and taking care of my family and doing something I enjoy. Okay, this is one of those tricky situations where it's almost impossible to answer this question the way it's worded. On one hand, Brian, I'm glad that you saw that the assessment was accurate, but you quickly went from the self-awareness that the assessment provides, the clarity to, you actually got so focused on your circumstances that you've taken your eye off the ball. So the way that the assessment is designed to work, and what actually needs to happen for you in your life is, you've got to see other opportunities for you to step out of government work.

This is sucking your soul out of your body. I mean, it's very obvious to the way you're wording this, and you just are at a point, though, where you're so exhausted, you're so demotivated. There's some other stuff clearly going on to where you just want to stay there and get some other gig and scrape by. And you're accurate to say that that is not sustainable. That's a dangerous mental and emotional place to be.

And that's going to only end up causing destruction in multiple areas of your life. So what you have to do here is you have got to get back to your results and go, all right, where in the world of work can I do what this purpose statement says that I'm supposed to do? And, by the way, it's a job description. And so if you apply that and you say, okay, I can get out there and do this. Now, what qualifications do I need, if any?

And then begin to make the connections and you get out there. But this is going to take you kind of shaking off this really horrible experience that you've had. And really, Dave, I feel like there's some depression going on here, but it's just really hard to read in a lot to what's really going on.

So you make a very good point there. I think what's going on is this is a guy who,

he does not want to do any more hard stuff. And it's hard to transition out of government if that's all you've ever done.

And he says, I'm really good at process stuff, detail stuff. Okay, great. Well, do you enjoy solving detail problems? He's probably going to say, yes. Then I'm immediately going into the private sector and I'm going, all right, maybe look at project management, which is a viable career path that can lead you all the way up to a C-suite.

That's how versatile project management is. It's just one example.

That was the exception. You know, the highest paid government employee in history was, uh, Anthony Fauci.

What's up?

And when I'm 65, it's supposed to double on paper and I'm supposed to be able to receive a 6% per month. Payout, which is supposed to be about a thousand a month approximately for the rest of my life.

Um, my ex says, if I don't take his offer, it just shows how greedy I am.

on, on broken hearts or emotions, or anger, or revenge, or anything. Okay. Or name calling or anything. Okay. So it's pretty simple.

So you get $12,000 a year till 27.

. So you got 36,000 coming there, right? Right. And then this annuity is worth what it's going to, it's supposed to pay you.

Okay. Okay. So if you had a hundred thousand dollars invested at 12%, that'd be a hundred, that'd be $12,000 a month, a year, right? That'd be a thousand dollars a month. And so it takes a hundred thousand dollars to replace that, but it doesn't kick in for five years.

So we would need a hundred thousand dollars five years from now and 36,000.

. So his offer is not bad.

Here's what's going on in my head. Okay. The concept in money, would you rather have a hundred thousand dollars today? Or would you rather have a hundred thousand dollars five years from now? Well, you'd rather have it today, because of what you could earn on it during that five years.

Agreed.

So if you get a hundred in your pocket now and invest that now with a good smart investor, pro, um, you're probably going to end up with more money. I might go back to him and say, I think I might be close to doing this. If you go a little higher and just see what, see. if he'd come on up to a hundred and a half, because he might, because he, I think he's trying to get, uh, you, distanced. I'm going to try to negotiate it up and then go to a smart investor pro.

live from the headquarters of Ramsey solutions. It's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual, amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. This is a baby steps, millionaires theme hour. If you're unfamiliar with our baby steps, millionaires theme hours, this is when we talk only with millionaires, regardless of how you got a million dollars or more, we want to learn from you where it came, from, who you are, so that some of us out here can be like you.

And so it's a lesson in, uh, from real people that have really done it. Uh, we need to start with the idea that we're going to define millionaire. It is a, an accounting definition. It's a math definition. A millionaire is not someone that makes a million dollars a year.

A millionaire is someone with a net worth of $1 million or more. A net worth is determined by your assets, things that you own of value minus your liabilities, your debt, what you own minus what you owe. And regardless of what it is, if it is a value, it is an asset. And so what you own minus what you owe, when that equals $1 million, you are a millionaire. Well, nobody should be a millionaire.

It's not a moral construct. It's a math formula. Well, $1 million isn't enough. Maybe, but that's a different discussion. It's a math formula.

You either is or you isn't. What you own minus what you owe. It's not an emotional thing. And your little left wing, crazy professor, communist professor in college doesn't get to redefine it. It is simply a math formula.

You either is or you isn't. Is it enough? Probably not. And it's not as much as it used to be because of inflation. But it is more than most people got.

There's about 26 million millionaires in America today. And we talk to them all the time. So if you are a millionaire because your grandmother left you money, because you hit the lottery, because you've worked your tail end off for 842 years, whatever it is you did, that made you a millionaire, we want to talk to you and learn from you how you did it and see if it's something that is replicatable for other people who have not done it yet. to build a level of wealth. This is the first level of wealth where you would start to say someone is, in air quotes, wealthy.

Now they're not billionaires. They're millionaires. A billionaire is a thousand million. They have five houses, a private jet, and seven cars. Millionaires have two cars and one house and fly commercial.

Okay. So let's just keep, let's keep in mind how this works. All right. And so don't get confused about what this stuff is. David is our first one online in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

David, what's your net worth?