am i burnt out or lazy? [video]

Phase number one, wow, this girl is productive, wow, this girl does not stop, wow, this girl

is on fire, wow, she doesn't sleep.

And then cycle number two, wow, this girl cannot get out of bed.

She can't get anything done.

She has not gotten anything done in a week.

What's wrong with this girl?

Is she okay?

Since high school, I've been bouncing back and forth between those two phases nonstop.

I rarely find myself in between.

I'm either one or the other.

When I'm in a productive phase, I just feel like I have endless energy.

When I'm in a productive phase, working just comes easily to me.

I sit down, I start working on something, and I just immediately click into a flow state.

Things are just seamless.

When I'm in an unproductive state, it's the complete opposite.

I procrastinate beyond belief.

I feel intimidated to start projects because I'm not confident that I'll have the brain

power to complete them.

I think it's because usually when I'm in an unproductive state of mind, I'm physically

and mentally exhausted.

Not because I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before.

Not because I'm sick.

But because I just am, and there's no explanation.

I tend to waste a lot of time on social media, online shopping, things like that.

My addiction to entertainment becomes ten times worse.

I can't focus.

Like, I'll sit down and start working on something, and then I'll get distracted by my phone.

I'll get distracted by an online shopping website.

I'll get distracted.

Or I'll be like, oh, I'm hungry, and I'll go cook something.

I'm not hungry even.

I just distract.

I can't focus.

And my self-esteem suffers because I feel incapable of performing at the level that

I want to perform at, and it just makes me feel bad about myself.

And it kind of ruins every other piece of my life.

My social life is very important to me.

It hasn't always been, but it is right now.

I've gone through phases throughout the years where my social life is a priority, and then

it's not, and then it is, and then it's not.

But more recently, it has been.

And it's really hard for me to go and be social when I'm not being productive in my work life.

I feel guilt and shame, and I don't feel like I deserve to go and be social.

Whether or not that's a healthy mindset is a different conversation.

But my self-esteem goes down, which then ruins everything else in my life.

During these times when I'm struggling to be productive, I always need to take a step

back and analyze what's happening.

Why is this happening?

Why am I unable to be productive?

And what I'm always trying to figure out is, am I being lazy or am I burnt out?

Because laziness requires a different treatment, if you will, than burnout.

Laziness requires discipline and willpower to solve.

You know, it's about being a little tougher on yourself.

Whereas burnout requires a break.

It requires submitting to the exhaustion, submitting to the inability to be productive,

and allowing that to run its course a bit more.

Laziness can only be fixed by counteracting it with effort, whereas burnout can only be

fixed through taking a break.

They both require complete opposite treatments, yet they're so hard to distinguish.

They are very hard to distinguish.

And obviously, the best option is to go and, you know, talk to a doctor, talk to a therapist,

get help that way.

But sometimes we want to take matters into our own hands and figure it out for ourselves.

That's always what I do.

Today I want to talk about the difference between laziness and burnout, because they

are kind of hard to distinguish, but it's such a great thing to understand because it

helps you get through that phase of not being productive so that you can get back on track.

So first let's start out with the definitions for each.

What is laziness and what is burnout?

Laziness is not wanting to do an activity or exertion despite having the ability to

act or exert oneself.

Laziness is not always bad.

Sometimes we must be lazy to recharge, but at times we must be honest with ourselves

about whether we're being lazy in a responsible way or in an irresponsible way.

I think an example of irresponsible laziness is laying in bed and watching TV all day when

you really need to finish work and you know you could do it and you know it would be fine.

You wouldn't have a mental breakdown if you did it, but you don't do it anyway because

you're just so cozy and comfortable in bed and you're like, eh, I know that this thing

is due tomorrow or due in two days, but I just don't want to do it.

I think responsible laziness is laying in bed all day on a Sunday when you have nothing

better to do.

That's responsible laziness.

That's just being a human.

Like, we can't do shit every single day.

It feels so good to lay in bed and watch TV and recharge when it's responsible to do so,

and we should all do that, right?

It's irresponsible when there's going to be a really negative consequence for you being

lazy and mentally you know deep down that you actually could do it and it wouldn't harm

your mental state, you know?

It might be a little frustrating, it might be a little exhausting, but it wouldn't severely

damage your mental state, right?

Burnout is a state of complete mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion caused by a lack

of adequate social support, taking on more than one can handle at work, school, or interpersonally

with family and friends, and poor self-care.

Burnout is much deeper.

I've experienced burnout many, many times, and it's so much deeper than being lazy.

When I'm feeling lazy, I'm like, yeah, I could go do that, but I really don't want to.

Like, what comes out of my mouth when I'm lazy is, oh, I really don't want to do that.

When I'm burnt out, I'm like, actually, I can't do that.

Like, I literally cannot do this or else I don't know what I'm going to do.

I can't do it.

When I try to work through burnout, I have a mental breakdown every time, a freakout,

whereas when I push through and work through laziness, I'm like, glad I did, and I always

feel better at the end, whereas when I'm burnt out and I work, it destroys me.

I'm an emotional wreck, I'm exhausted, and it doesn't get me back on track.

It actually makes the problem worse.

Now, a huge difference between laziness and burnout is that laziness can be irresponsible

or responsible because it's more of a choice in a way.

Burnout is not a choice.

It's never irresponsible or responsible.

It just happens to you, and it's so deep in your brain and in your body that you can't

just push through it like you can laziness.

Both laziness and burnout come into our lives at inconvenient times.

Why?

Because there's never a convenient time to not be productive.

I mean, sometimes are a bit more convenient, but even then, there's no good time to be

lazier or to be burnt out, but at least with laziness, it's something that you can push

through.

It's not easy.

I know I'm making it sound easy right now, but we all know it's not easy, but you actually

feel better when you push through.

So I decided to do some research specifically listing out what laziness looks like and what

burnout looks like because I had never done that before.

In the past, I've just gone based on feeling, you know, oh, I feel like I could push through

this, so I must just be lazy or, oh, I don't think I can push through this, I think I'm

burnt out, but I've never really dug into what they both look like.

So let's explore that together.

What does laziness look like?

To start, you have no motivation to start the day, but you feel rested.

Like if you were to get out of bed, you wouldn't feel like you were carrying a backpack with

bricks in it.

Like you'd be able to get up and feel pretty good, but your bed is just so cozy and it's

so warm, ooh, it's so warm, and you're so cozy, and your remote is right next to your

bed and the TV's right there and you just want to turn it on.

Like that's lazy, right?

It also looks like making a lot of excuses, saying, I can't do that because I have to

do this other thing later, so that means I can't do that.

Constantly making excuses.

I definitely make a lot of excuses when I'm in a lazy mood.

Like for example, if I have a doctor's appointment at 3 p.m., I'll be like, well, I can't really

do anything before 3 p.m. today because I have to make sure that I don't miss my doctor's

appointment, I can't be late to my doctor's appointment.

So I'm not doing anything before that doctor's appointment.

When you're in a lazy mood, you may also spend a lot of time entertaining yourself.

Social media, YouTube, TV, mindless entertainment.

When I'm in a lazy phase, I cannot stop.

There is no time in my life when I'm more addicted to entertainment because it just

allows me to forget about the shit that I'm supposed to be doing and it's so easily engaging

and it just kills an hour, it kills two hours, it kills three hours.

And I don't have the willpower to turn it off when I'm lazy.

Whereas when I'm in a productive phase, I'm like, it's no problem.

It's no problem.

I'm turning it off, putting my phone in the other room, not going to look at it all day.

When you're lazy, you may also settle for mediocrity.

You're not pushing yourself to produce your peak quality of work.

You're half-assing everything, doing the bare minimum because you just want to check things

off the checklist.

You're not trying to go above and beyond.

And I don't think any of us feel great about ourselves when we work in that way.

We're not proud of ourselves when we half-ass shit, but sometimes that's all we want to

do.

We don't want to put the full effort in.

We could, but we don't really want to.

Laziness also comes with the victim mentality, feeling like your life is too overwhelming

when in reality, that's not accurate.

There have been times in my life where I'm like, it's not my fault that I have so much

stuff to do.

And it's like, no, you don't.

You have nothing to do, you have barely anything to do.

You just don't want to do it.

And being lazy makes you feel bad about yourself.

And when you feel bad about yourself, your ego is being threatened.

And it's so much easier to be like, I'm the victim of my life when in reality, your life

is not bad.

You know, like you don't have that much to do.

You just are lazy.

I totally do this sometimes.

And I try to snap out of it fast because I don't like complaining when it's not warranted

like that.

I don't like complaining because my ego is bruised, because I'm lazy and I feel bad about

myself.

So I try to catch it in the act, but sometimes it slips out.

When you're in a lazy phase, you may also find yourself afraid to start a project because

you're scared you're going to fail.

I know I mentioned that earlier because that happens to me a lot, but I feel like there's

this sort of hamster wheel dilemma with laziness because lazy behavior lowers your self-esteem.

You don't feel good about yourself.

But then when your self-esteem is lower, you don't feel confident to start a project.

So then it's like the laziness makes you insecure.

And then being insecure makes you not want to start working on what you need to work

on because you're scared you're going to fail.

But then that leads to more laziness, which then you see what I'm saying?

It's a hamster wheel and it's very hard to get off sometimes.

It's also very hard to stick to any habit that requires discipline when you're in a

lazy phase.

Work, exercise, challenging hobbies, etc. are all put on the back burner.

Stuff that's easy, like hanging out with your friends, going to a party, that stuff's fine.

But like anything that requires discipline, no, not happening.

Although I did mention the parties and hanging out with friends being easy.

That's not necessarily easy for everyone.

And some people are too lazy at times to go and be social too.

Everyone's sort of different.

Last but not least, many people experiencing laziness are kind of messy during their lazy

phase.

Their house is a mess.

Their room is a mess.

Their closet is a mess.

You know, things start to pile up.

Now, that's what laziness looks like.

There's not one perfect picture, right?

It definitely looks different for everyone.

Now that we have a vague picture of that, let's dig into what burnout looks like.

Genuine exhaustion, physical, mental exhaustion, getting out of bed in the morning is challenging.

It feels like you're carrying a backpack full of bricks.

It's sometimes excruciating based on my experience, but it's not just physical.

It's also mental.

I can't explain it, and if you haven't experienced it before, humor me here, but when I'm in

a stage of burnout, I literally feel like my brain cannot process anything else.

I can't think.

Like I try to think about something, and my brain is just, it feels fried.

It's so tired.

It's so fatigued that I can't process a thought.

All I can really do is lay down and stare at the ceiling empty in my head.

During a phase of burnout, you may find yourself unable to put full effort into everyday tasks.

Like you have no motivation.

There's no motivation left.

I would say the difference between laziness and burnout when it comes to motivation, at

least based on my experience, is how it feels impossible when you're burnt out.

It feels like you truly can't do what you have to do.

Burnout also causes you to feel dissatisfied with the level of work that you're getting

done.

It brings a sense of failure and self-doubt.

It's almost like no matter how much you do, no matter how much you get done, you never

feel satisfied.

You never feel like, oh yeah, I'm done.

I'm accomplished.

I'm proud of what I did.

For whatever reason, you never feel satisfied.

And this is sort of a hamster wheel as well.

You're burnt out, but you push through and you get work done.

Then you don't feel satisfied about it, which then makes you feel like you're doing all

this work for nothing, which then makes the burnout worse.

And then you're like, oh, I have to keep working.

So then you keep working, but then you still feel dissatisfied.

You see what I mean?

It's another hamster wheel and the burnout just constantly gets worse.

People with burnout also experience emotional outbursts.

I really, really, yes, I have experienced that.

I know I'm burnt out for sure when I start working because I'm trying to push through

the burnout.

And then I have a meltdown, crying, panic attack.

I have an extreme outburst and it always happens in private.

You know, it's not like anything anyone ever sees, but it totally happens to me.

And that's when I know I'm burnt out because when I'm lazy, when I start working, I am

like, wait a minute, I'm like feeling more motivated now.

Burnout can also cause depression and anxiety due to feeling detached or alone in the world,

feeling drowned by one's own life.

I've noticed this as well when I'm burnt out.

I feel trapped in my own life.

I'm like, there's so much that I have to do.

I've already done a lot.

I feel trapped.

I feel suffocated by my life.

I feel like I have no space to just breathe and be silent and recharge.

And that has caused me depressive episodes and anxious episodes for sure.

A lot of people also isolate themselves when they're burnt out.

It's interesting because I have had phases of burnout where I've isolated myself big

time, but I've also had phases where it's really helped me to go out and be social because

I had fun, you know, like there've been times when going out and being social has helped

ease my burnout because I feel loved and supported and I'm having fun.

So I think it depends.

Burnout is usually caused by an overwhelming life.

A particular person might have a lot of time pressures, due dates for things, deadlines

for things.

They might have a massive workload.

They might be experiencing emotional turmoil.

There's something or some things in this person's life that overwhelms them to a point where

they're empty.

They don't have any gas left in the tank.

We all can handle a certain level of challenge, difficulty, but we all run out of gas at a

certain point and we burn out.

We're not machines.

We're not robots.

As much as I wish I was a robot, I'm not.

So keep that in mind.

And last but not least, burnout cannot be cured through vacation or time off.

This is the worst part.

There have been periods in my life where I've been experiencing burnout and I've gone on

a vacation so hopeful that it would make it all go away.

And then by the end of the trip, I'd be like, fuck, it's exactly the same.

Like nothing has changed.

I'm still burnt out and what the hell am I going to do?

There are definitely a lot of similarities between laziness and burnout, but I think

there are enough differences that it's not impossible to distinguish.

It's hard to distinguish, but it's not impossible.

I think the hardest part about figuring out which you're experiencing is you can convince

yourself that you're burnt out just because you want to be more lazy.

Like you can use the excuse that you're burnt out when you're really just lazy, and I've

done it.

That's why I'm saying that.

I've done that.

I've been like, oh, I'm burnt out.

It's like, no, Emma, you're not.

And you know that.

You know what burnout feels like, my love.

You're not burnt out.

You're being lazy.

You know what I'm saying?

It takes brutal, brutal, brutal honesty with oneself to figure out what you're experiencing.

And you really have to analyze yourself almost in third person and figure out what's really

going on.

But it's way easier said than done.

It's so easy to just be like, I'm burnt out when you're really just being lazy.

It's so easy because the irony of it all is like burnout looks almost identical to laziness.

There's definitely some differences, but it looks very similar.

And yet to solve both are completely opposite.

If you convince yourself that you're burnt out when you're really just lazy, then you

just get to keep being lazy because in order to heal burnout, you have to rest.

I mean, it's not just resting.

There's more to it, but resting is a part of it.

It's not fun to admit to yourself that you're being lazy.

It's a huge blow to the ego.

And I mentioned earlier, it's not always bad to be lazy.

Sometimes it's a responsible thing to do.

But what we've been discussing today is irresponsible laziness.

It's a different type of laziness, but the plot thickens because sometimes you'll be

convinced that you're not in a productive phase.

You'll think you're lazy or you'll think you're burnt out because you feel like you're not

getting enough done.

But sometimes you have neither laziness nor burnout.

You're just experiencing hustle culture.

Well, what's hustle culture, you may ask?

According to Talkspace.com, hustle culture is when a workplace environment places an

intense focus on productivity, ambition, and success with little regard for rest, self-care,

or any sense of work-life balance.

If you're in an environment that has hustle culture, or you self-inflict hustle culture

into your own life because of the internet or societal pressures or whatever, you may

feel like you're lazy when in reality you're normal and you're doing great.

Hustle culture inspires us to believe that having a work-life balance is being lazy.

And I experience this all the time.

I experience laziness, burnout, and hustle culture all at various times, and it's so

overwhelming to try to figure out what my issue is because the way to solve each one

is so different.

I may get all my work done for the day and then decide, oh, I'm going to go out tonight

with my friends.

We're going to go get a little drink.

And I'll feel like a lazy piece of shit.

Why?

Because I know deep down that I could have kept working into the night.

I'm self-employed.

I am my own boss, and I make my own schedule, and I can work whenever I want at any hour

I want.

And sometimes I feel like I should just never stop working because there's always more to

do.

But I need to go hang out with my friends.

That recharges me.

That refuels me.

And so in moments when I feel guilty about having a work-life balance, I have to be honest

with myself.

Are you actually getting your work done, too, and then doing fun stuff, or are you just

doing the fun stuff?

And if I'm doing both, then I can conclude, like, okay, this is the hustle culture voice

speaking in my head.

This is not reality.

So now that we sort of know how to distinguish one from the other, let me share with you

how I personally handle each one.

When I determine that I'm dealing with burnout, I allow myself to rest first and foremost.

I move around my schedule to the best of my ability.

I can't always move everything around, but I'll move as much around as I can to lighten

things up a little bit.

And then I'll figure out what it is in my life that's causing the burnout.

Is it work-related?

Is it relationship-related?

Is it friend-related?

What is it?

What's happening?

What's the root?

And then I'll figure out what I need to address there so that my life doesn't feel as overwhelming

and suffocating.

And it's not always an overnight fix, but I think the best way to heal burnout, at least

based on my experience, is to actually change your life, you know?

Change something in your life.

And again, it sucks because it's not always something you can do overnight, you know?

But I think that's the only way that you can heal it for good.

I also think with burnout, talking to a professional is very helpful because it's a much deeper

issue than being lazy or believing in hustle culture.

It runs so much deeper.

And for some people, just resting and, you know, making a few tweaks to life isn't enough.

And so I think burnout needs to be taken the most seriously because it just runs way deeper.

When I determine that I'm being lazy, my first step is to ban entertainment for the next

48 hours minimum.

Entertainment just feeds the laziness.

It's so easy to procrastinate.

It's so easy to distract yourself.

So when I own up and admit to myself, you're being a fucking lazy bitch, the TV's off,

the computer's away, the phone, well, the computer's not away because I might actually

have to work on the computer.

The computer stays out, the phone goes in the other room, I'm focusing.

And I find it's also helpful during phases of laziness to make a checklist and to commit

to completing the checklist to the best of my ability.

And I might put the bare minimum on my checklist, but I force myself to put 100% into that shorter

list of things to do.

Because I found that it's harder to come out of a phase of laziness and then try to do

everything all at once to the best of your ability.

That's just too much.

So I try to do the least amount I can to get by, but put 100% effort in.

And then that starts to build my self-esteem back up.

And then I start to feel more confident in myself.

So I'm like, okay, now I can go and I can do more tomorrow.

But it starts with putting the entertainment away.

I'm not kidding.

That changes everything, everything.

When you're in a lazy phase, you turn the TV off, you put your phone away, you put the

book down, you do all that.

And you just lay there quietly for a minute, you'll be out of bed, you'll be ready to go.

I think during phases of laziness, it's still okay to watch a little TV before bed.

But like during the working hours, off, right?

That's what I do.

I don't know.

And last but not least, when I determined that my issue is hustle culture getting into

my head, it's a matter of being proud of yourself for what you did accomplish.

Realizing, hey, wait a minute, I did get shit done today.

And hey, wait a minute, I'm establishing a healthy work-life balance to avoid burnout

in the future.

I'm doing the right thing.

And there's nothing wrong with having a work-life balance.

In fact, that is the best thing you can do, right?

So it's more of a mindfulness activity, replacing the negative narrative that comes from hustle

culture with a positive, confident narrative.

Like I'm doing great, I'm getting my shit done, and I'm having fun.

This is what life's about.

And that's kind of all you can do when it comes to the hustle culture of it all, because

the way that you're living your life is not flawed, actually.

It's just your mindset.

You're actually getting enough done.

You're not being lazy.

You're not burnt out.

You're actually doing great.

You actually are very balanced.

You're just listening to the wrong narrative.

And that's all I have to say for today.

That's it.

That's all I got.

I hope you enjoyed this episode.

If you did, come back.

Come back on Thursdays and Sundays and hang out every week if you want.

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Thank you again for listening, and I can't wait to talk to you soon.

Love you.