fashion identity crisis [video]

I'm wearing a Hollister t-shirt, I'm wearing a Pacsun beanie, I'm wearing cringy, weird sunglasses, you know, I'm dressing like a high schooler. The second that I left high school, I had a crisis. Why? Because what's cool in high school is not really cool in the real world.

When you're in high school, you're in a little bubble and keeping up with the trends is much easier. In a way, all of the people that you could ever copy are right in front of you. In high school, I was starting to become exposed to the fashion world outside of my school because of Instagram. But it hadn't quite seeped into my personal life because I was more focused on being trendy at my school and within my community. The second that I left school, everything changed.

I didn't go to college, so the second that I left high school, my community was now the real world and the internet. And.

What's cool and what's trendy is completely different. So I had sort of a crisis and it wasn't a negative crisis. Okay, I don't think it was unhealthy. It was more of an epiphany. Like, I want to get into fashion more in a real world type of way, so I started thrifting.

I started heavily pinteresting, I started developing my personal style, and I successfully did that, although it did take years and years, and years, and years. I had that initial epiphany, like, wait a minute, I need to change everything, but it took years to implement into my actual life after my initial epiphany. I really reinvented my style, like full 180. And then once things sort of settled down. And I kind of had a sense of personal style. And I had a wardrobe that fit me, you know, it, like, fit my personal style.

The style evolution from there was very gradual, it was consistent over time, there were no extreme shifts. I don't think, I mean, if you were to look at my closet five years ago and now, it looks completely different. But the process of getting it from five years ago to now has been very gradual. Like pieces have just naturally come and go. And I. I haven't hit a point where I've wanted to reinvent again, and, to be honest, I never thought I would.

I assumed that for the rest of my life I would have this sort of gradual evolution of my personal style. But apparently I was wrong because recently I found myself in another fashion identity crisis. I really thought it would never happen again, but wow, was I wrong? And there were some signs that it was coming, but I still didn't see it coming. For example, I've been wearing Strictly gold jewelry for years.

I mean, I wear silver jewelry sometimes, but in my personal life like it's gold jewelry, and then recently I shifted back to silver jewelry. In my personal life, I'm only wearing silver jewelry. And that was sort of weird. I was like, why am I gravitating towards silver jewelry? like I never wear silver jewelry anymore?

On top of that, I've been talking about how much I appreciate minimalistic clothing design and simple clothing design, and more timeless clothing design. And I've sort of been dipping my toe into that space after years and years of definitely not wearing that type of clothing, I would say my style over the last few years has been loud and bright and kitschy and much more playful. And so starting to lean into more minimal designs was kind of new for me. Something exploded in my brain and I realized that I want to change everything, I want to change my entire style.

Now when I talk about my style, I'm talking about my personal style. This is what I wear on a day-to-day basis, right when I go to a fashion show or a fashion event or something like that. I'm playing dress-up, it's sort of a reflection of my personal style, but it's an excuse to play dress-up. So it definitely represents a part of me, but it's not.

My personal style, like my personal style, is like what I wear to the grocery store, what I wear to get my nails done, what I wear when I'm going out to dinner with friends. I think what I realized was I'm an adult. Now I'm 22, I want to elevate my style a little bit.

I want to mature my style a little bit. And this is not rooted in a desire to look older or to feel older or anything, it's a natural desire, I think, to mature. What I'm wearing to represent the maturing that I'm experiencing in my life. And I'm not shitting on my old style because I clearly love it like, it's me, I align with it, it's.

It's not like, I'm saying now that shit's ugly now, not at all. I just need to do a major revamp, like, I'm just ready, I'm ready for a big shift across the board. And what's so interesting about it is that even though there were subtle signs that this was coming, I didn't necessarily see it coming in this big of a way. But I swear I woke up one day and I was like, everything needs to change. And I know exactly what I want to do, and I thought it would be easy. I'm much more experienced with fashion now.

I'm much more experienced in experimenting with clothes. I thought that shifting my style over would be easy, but I forgot how hard it is. It's a fucking bitch. It's a challenge when you make the choice to change your style, it's like a journey.

It's a whole journey and I'm actually at the beginning of my journey. Right now. I've barely even scratched the surface. I have a lot of work to do. And when you're someone who's into fashion, this is exciting. Okay, this is exciting. I'm excited about this, but I'm also a little bit overwhelmed.

To be honest, it's it's really overwhelming. Whether you're into fashion or not, you're probably going to experience a time in your life where you want to change up your style. Even if you're not somebody who uses fashion as a way to express yourself, you still will find yourself at periods in your life where you want to change your style, and so today I wanted to discuss how to change your style. I, I'm gonna give you a checklist.

I'm gonna give you the full lowdown. This is what you got to do. This is how you change your style in a way that's efficient, smart, responsible and effective, that's it.

Step one figure out the root cause of this shift. As I explained earlier, the reason why I want to make this shift is because I'm growing up. I'm starting to feel like an adult and I'm starting to feel more mature. And I want my clothing to express that a little bit more. On top of that, I'm obsessed with outfits that are truly timeless. I love that challenge, putting together an outfit that won't look cringe in 30 years. I'm obsessed with that challenge and I want to create a wardrobe that is timeless.

And there are many great reasons why you may want to shift. Your style could be growing up, it could be a new budding interest in fashion. For the first time in your life, it could be a major shift in your life. Maybe you're moving cities and you're experiencing a new sort of community, and they have sort of a different style.

Maybe you just went through a breakup and you want to reinvent, that's totally hot. A major life shift can really make you feel inspired. I also think a fashion identity crisis can come naturally. As your taste evolves. The more that you consume fashion, the more that you see fashion, the stronger that your taste becomes. And sometimes, as our taste develops, it goes through like a major shift.

So there are many valid reasons why you may want to change up your style. There are also some potentially iffy reasons to change your style. Now. Hear me out, because you can do whatever the fuck you want, and you know that already. But changing your style is a financial and time investment, and you want to make sure that you're doing it responsibly. And there are some reasons that may not be as responsible. Okay, if you start hanging around some new people and you want to fit in with them, listen, you could make some new friends and they just genuinely inspire you and open your eyes to new things. In that case, it's not necessarily irresponsible.

But if you want to change your style just to fit in with this friend group that you might regret down the line. You know that might not stand the test of time. That might be slightly irresponsible, okay? Another invalid reason. Something goes viral online and suddenly you're like, Well, I need to participate in that. Let me tell you, viral trends are not always bad, they're not always irresponsible to follow.

Because something being trendy and viral doesn't necessarily speak to its quality. I, I compare it to pop music, right? A lot of people say pop music is trash, like all pop music is trash. Because it's popular and it's easy to digest, and it's not super complicated, but there's a lot of pop music.

That's really fucking good and deep, and thoughtful, and profound. It exists just because something's popular doesn't mean it's of low quality. The same thing goes for viral trends. Sometimes something going viral can just expose you to it for the first time. And you like it genuinely to your core. And you're not just blinded by the virality of it in a way.

I think a lot of times we see something going viral and we just want to be a part of it. For some reason. I think we just need to make sure that we're not changing our whole style. Because of a few viral trends, you know, the virality of a trend is so short, something becomes viral and is irrelevant in two weeks, if not a week. Okay, so you want to make sure that you're making a choice that's ultimately based on your taste. Did that rhyme, okay? In the last, potentially sketchy reason is you're trying to distract yourself from something else going on in your life.

When we're going through a tough time in life, we can find the most fascinating coping mechanisms, and sometimes changing up your appearance is a coping mechanism. The problem with it is when your moment of pain and discomfort is over, are you going to regret changing up your look and are you gonna kind of want to go back to normal? A lot of people, when they go through a breakup or something, will give themselves a haircut or get a new tattoo. And later maybe be like, Hmm, why don't I do that?

You know what I mean? So I think it's important to figure out the root cause so that you can ensure that you're making the right decision. Because the steps that follow are intense, okay, they're intense, and there's time, money, all of these things involved. You want to make sure you're making the right choice. Step two Major research phase you want to study.

Fashion like you're studying for the SAT or some other challenging and arguably important standardized test. You have to make mood boards, you need to go on Pinterest, or you need to find magazines, and you need to make mood boards. Okay, you need to figure out what the vibe is. I think what's valuable about making a mood board is that you'll start to see patterns, you know, like, recently, I've been doing a lot of mood boarding as I'm going through a style shift myself. And I've been noticing that there's a lot of black clothing on my Pinterest boards.

Like, I've never been somebody who wore a lot of black. Uh, apparently I need to pick up some more black pieces of clothing because this is something that I'm apparently now into. You know, this is a key detail, you know? But there are so many things that you're gonna notice. As you start mood boarding, you're gonna realize. Wow, there's a lot of brown leather details going on. Wow, there's a lot of gold details going on here.

Wow, I really like a 70s vibe, like I'm apparently loving the 70s, or oh, wow. I'm kind of going in a preppy direction, you know? There's like dress pants, and there's like collared shirts, and there's sweaters, and, hmm, I'm kind of going a preppy direction. You'll start to see patterns, and these patterns will allow you to shop smarter when that step comes down the line.

If you only put a blazer on your mood board once, then maybe you shouldn't buy a blazer yet. If you put ten collared shirts on your mood board, maybe you need to pick up a few more collared shirts. Do you see what I'm saying? It's almost like doing a subconscious hole in your mind, but also on your mood board, figuring out what you like the most, what you should go out and buy.

What are key pieces in your new style? you know, like, what are those key pieces? Is it a classic pair of jeans? is it like a pair of black dress pants? like? what are your new wardrobe backbones?

Vertebrae, you know, I also think, more than anything, it just helps you solidify your own idea of what your new style is. It helps paint that picture for you, quite literally in the form of a mood board. But on top of that, you should follow fashionable people.

You should go walk around in stores that you like, just absorb as much fashion as possible. The more you expose yourself to clothes, the better understanding you'll have about how you want to reinvent your own style. Next step before you even go shopping, you got to do a closet clean out, okay, you got to do it now.

For some of us, this is terrible, and for some of us, this is fine, This is therapeutic, this is enjoyable. I hate cleaning out my closet.

Like, to be honest, I hate it. It is therapeutic in some ways, but it uses too much brainpower almost to be therapeutic for me.

I closet and figuring out what I want to get rid of. It's like an emotional battle. I'm like, but I wore that like my first meeting in Los Angeles, like it means something to me. Shut the fuck up, get rid of it. You're never gonna wear it again. Or like, Oh, I only got to wear that like a few times, like I feel like I didn't love it enough.

Somebody else will love it, you're gonna donate it somewhere where somebody else will get way more use out of it, and we'll love it. Stop, stop keeping things you don't need but see. Imagine me in my closet doing that for like, two, three hours. It's hell for me, so I hate it. But it's a crucial part of this journey because number one, you need to make space for the new stuff.

That's obvious, but number two, I think a big part of changing your style is fully immersing yourself in that experience. There's something so incredible about going to a closet with only pieces that you adore. I would rather walk into a closet with one shirt, one pair of pants and one jacket that I am obsessed with, then walk into a closet with 50 shirts, 50 pants, 50 jackets. That I'm not that into, you know, it's absolutely quality over quantity.

When it comes to what's in your closet 1,000, you don't need to have a closet packed full of new clothes to change your style. You could literally buy a few new things and then keep a few old things that still fit your new vibe and have a full new wardrobe. You don't need a full closet, you don't need that.

You just want to have only things that you are really, truly gonna wear consistently. The truth is, when you go in and do your closet clean out, you're gonna find things that will easily transfer over to your new style, especially basics. It's a button-up, it's a white tank top, it's a white t-shirt.

It's a black t-shirt, it's a black pair of pants, simple, it's your favorite pair of jeans. Like, there are a lot of things that are gonna seamlessly carry over, but there are definitely gonna be a lot of things, especially more trend heavy things, that are gonna go okay. So now that you've made your mood boards, you've studied fashion, and you've cleaned out your closet, it's time to make a list.

Okay, you need to make a list. Start with your mood board, figure out what are key pieces for your new style. Let's use an example preppy. When I think of preppy, I think you need a really solid collared shirt.

You need a really solid sweater, you need a really solid pleated skirt. Maybe one that's like longer, so it's more wearable for day to day. Like one that maybe goes to, like, mid-calf. You need some scrunchie socks, maybe ones that have little lines on them, like the little stripes on them. And you need a loafer or a boat shoe or something like that. Okay, make a list of all the things you need now look in your closet.

See what you already have, cross out the stuff you already have. Okay, well, I already have three great sweaters, I don't need to go out and buy a new sweater.

These sweaters will work perfectly for my new style. Cross it out. I actually already have a really great collared shirt. I don't need to buy that. But I don't have a pleated skirt, and I don't have the loafers, and I don't have the socks, okay?

Well, now you know what you need. I think the key when shifting your style is to start out by buying the basics, the building blocks. You don't want to start out buying crazy statement pieces that are unwearable. For example, let's say you want to start dressing a little bit more vampy, grungy, punk. You don't want to go shopping and buy a massive heavy.

Leather trench coat that has spikes all over it immediately because you're not gonna wear that. What you do want to go by is a black turtleneck, my love, you want to go buy a black turtleneck, you want to go buy a black skirt, you want to go buy black boots.

Great, now you have building blocks, you'd be shocked at what you can do with just the basics. It's all about how you do your makeup, how you style your hair, how you accessorize things. You can really get the ball rolling with just the basics. And I think it's safest to start there because when it comes to building a wardrobe, it takes time.

It's like collecting. You can scour through the internet all day and all night, and you might not find things that really, really, truly speak to you and excite you. Sometimes it takes going to vintage stores every weekend for a month to find pieces that speak to you. You don't want to rush that process, you want to take your time and collect things as you find them. Because that's how you create a wardrobe that you're excited about.

That feels really true to you. When you rush that process, you end up creating a wardrobe filled with items that are disposable. In a way. You know, they don't connect with you on a deeper level, so you're not really attached to them. So then you just end up not wearing them and getting rid of them, and then it's like, what a waste, you know? Next step, you have all the basics down, you're working on collecting some pieces that are special, maybe a little bit more statement, but that's a process and you know that, and you're being patient.

Maybe you're leaning into your hair and makeup to sort of elevate the vibe, sort of, um, bring the whole thing together. It's time to start playing with accessories, you need to go have fun with the accessories, because as you're building this collection of pieces, you need something. In the meantime, you need something to hold you over. And that's where accessories come in. Because accessories are much more affordable, they are much more versatile while still packing a punch like. One pair of sunglasses can be worn ten different ways and feel different in every single way.

I don't know not every pair of sunglasses, but I think it's important to play with accessories because it's almost like a safe little playground. And it's also much easier to find because you don't have to worry about size as much with these items. So you can go to a thrift store, for example, and find so many incredible options. Great price, and you're not sifting through the racks trying to find your size. I just think that accessories are a great place to play, and and accessories really take your style to the next level. It's like the clothing itself is one thing. But you could just wear basics every day and style yourself all the way with the accessories. And that could be your style. And that is absolutely a style. You know what I'm saying?

So I think, as you're building your wardrobe and as that takes a lot of time, you're really having fun with the accessories and you're really leaning into the accessories. Next step, do a little check-in. Okay, how are you feeling? are things?

Going the way you want them to go. Are you feeling like yourself, playing around with this new style? Do a check-in and be honest with yourself. Because it's better to figure out that it's not working sooner rather than later. And this is a process, this is a process that takes months and months, and months and months, and it's almost like a hobby.

To be honest, I think of styling myself as a hobby. In a way, it takes a lot of time for some of us. Because if you're really into fashion, it's collecting, it's researching, it's understanding yourself, it's all of this.

If you're making a less passionate shift, you know, maybe you're changing jobs and you just kind of want to shift your style to fit your new job a bit better. Like, these steps still all apply. Don't get me wrong, but it's different. It might not take as long, you know? Like there's a bit less self-discovery in that, there's a bit more of a manual for that. Like, you can just look and see what the people at your next job are wearing and sort of start there. I don't know.

There's a bit more guidance in that type of situation. When it's less emotional, less of a hobby, less of a form of expression, and it's more of a necessary shift due to your circumstances in life. But that's how you do it, that's how you change your style. And you might be thinking, Emma, this is obvious.

Well, if it is, sorry, genius, okay, Mommy only has so much to offer. Alright, I like, I'm not, I'm not made of ideas over here. Okay, I'm not fucking Einstein, what? I'm a retired YouTuber. Okay, what do you expect from me?

It's not that I'm retired like I. who knows, I don't know what my future holds. I'm not, I'm not, actually. I don't know if that's true, so don't get mad at me.

But anyway?

I'm excited to shift up my style because I really feel like things are about to get interesting for me. Like, I don't know, things are about to get a little bit darker, a little bit vampy. Er, for me, I'm wearing the silver jewelry, I'm kind of in that vibe.

I'm wearing a lot of silver and black and maroon, and like navy. I don't know like I can see it in my head, but I still have more work to do. I'm currently in the stage where I'm, I'm doing the mood boards and I'm cleaning out my closet. And my God, do I have a journey ahead of me? We'll see how it goes.

But Emma's personal style is shifting and it's gonna be interesting. I think it's exciting. I think when you get the inspiration to shift your style, it's sort of the beginning of a new chapter. It's kind of beautiful and I'm excited to see what my brain does, so we will see.

Anyway, I hope that this was somehow helpful to someone out there and I just appreciate you hanging out. Okay? I mean, come on, don't we just have the best time. If you enjoyed this episode, tune in Thursdays and Sundays, listen to Anything Goes Anywhere you stream podcasts, watch Anything Goes exclusively on Spotify.

Follow Anything goes on Instagram, Anything goes. Follow me on Instagram at Emma Chamberlain. Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain coffee. Okay, we might be in a store near you, so check out our store locator on Chamberlain Coffee Comm.

See if we're in a store near you, and if not, just order us online. Chamberlain Coffee. Calm again. I love and appreciate all of you and I'll be talking to you soon, so don't forget about me.

No, you can't. actually. you can totally forget. that is absolutely fine, by the way, you should forget that's totally okay.

So let me rephrase, talk to you later, maybe if you want, and you can also forget about me. But I love and appreciate all of you and I can't wait to talk to you soon. If you want to talk soon. Okay, love you.