PSA Presents: The 2023 Pundies

Welcome to Pod Save America, I'm Jon Favreau.

I'm Jon Lovett.

I'm Dan Pfeiffer.

Tommy Vitor.

The gang is all here.

Look at us.

It's time for our year-end tradition, the Pundies, where we relive the year's hottest takes and get angry all over again. Plus, we set our New Year's resolutions and see how well we kept last year's.

It's always fun. I truly don't remember.

I'm so happy I'm not on tape for that.

Yeah, well.

Suckers.

Let's start with the pundies and here to present this year's nominees in six exciting categories. Pod Save America writer Hallie Kiefer.

Hello gentlemen, how are you feeling? very good, festive.

So festive.

Good because we're here today with the actual start of the awards season. Yes, I said it, the SAG Awards, more like the Hag Awards, Gold Globes, more like this. Shit blows.

The Oscars could burn in hell.

All of which is to say it is an honor and a pleasure to join you in handing out these the most coveted award in Hollyweird. The Pundies. I'd like to apologize last year for when I opened the wrong envelope and gave best picture to La La Land, that was all on me. That wasn't even a category, and the envelope was my cable bill anyways. Best picture goes to Moonlight and best punditry goes to the winner of this year's categories.

Cutting.

From misguided predictions to baffling analyses, Beltway Media was full of memorable missteps that sparked debates, raised eyebrows, and perhaps even shaped the discourse. A word that makes me want to turn my back on the English language. Here are the moments that made us cringe, shuckle, and really contemplate the world around us. All right? First off, you know how money rules every facet of American politics, and rich people basically get their way 100 of the time.

Cream.

Have you ever taken the time to truly ponder whether that's a good or bad thing? Obviously not you fools, luckily. Washington Post columnist Dan I'm going to say balls.

Yeah, balls is correct. Well, there you have it.

How else would you pronounce it?

I don't know.

I was hoping there was another option. My eyes hidden, I thought there's got to be something else. Luckily, he addressed that very thing in an article titled The Mega rich are the new political bosses. Is that bad for democracy?

I guess you're making a good point, I think. Historically speaking, billionaires have often sought to be the bosses of politics and a lot of other things.

I hadn't thought of it.

Is this my only and one chance to defend Dan Balls?

Yeah, do it, at least in this game.

Okay, perfect Dan Balls, best political reporter of his generation, nicest guy on the planet. Funny name, yes.

Great name, great name.

Great name.

I think he was poorly served by his headline writer here.

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely, and so many reporters are so many.

He is a man from a generation that predates clickbait headlines for the Washington Post. And so we're going to talk. There are going to be a lot of bad people who are terrible, who know nothing about politics in this segment. Dan Balls is not one of those people.

Yeah, there's some Elijah working at the Washington Post that made Dan Balls have an SEO Clickbaity headline.

That's exactly it.

We are all Dan Balls to Elijah's Washington Post headline writer.

An Seo-neurism.

And today, we celebrate those Elijahs up next....

So I put an apostrophe on that name, too. Even funnier it is, you know what I'm saying.

In the possessive, something that he may have owned.

Do you ever wonder if Dan Balls and Dan Zak did a co-byline?

Wow.

That's real good, like a ball-zak.

Yeah.

Yeah, solid.

Something for 2024 gentlemen up next this year. Bidenomics could have really swayed public opinion if we just took the time to rebrand, take out the Biden. Replace it with Beyonce, Barbie or even Taylor Swift. Now we're talking, that's right, we're talking about Xeo's article Bay, Barbie and Swift saved the economy, just to read a quote. The blowout success of Taylor Swift's Heiress Tour, combined with the record box office juice of the Barbie movie, is helping to buoy the economy and prevent a recession. Thanks, Barbie for saving the economy and also letting me chew on your shoes as a kid.

I would swap their heads with Ken, my sister would get very mad.

You were ahead of the time, though you were thinking ahead. That's avant-garde.

Jennifer Dahmer Shit, though.

Our third nominee, John John Tommy, congratulations. Pod Save America has finally influenced a bad Beltway take finally.

So I just want to add a little something, because I do think. The political playbook conversation about Barack Obama's comments on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict included the line about his Nobody's hands are clean comment. They may even be quickly lumped into those notorious, evocative phrases politicians used in moments of passion, such as Bush's notorious mission accomplished. So Obama's saying, Hey, you know what, we all made mistakes.

That is not only the worst take in that category.

Lifetime Achievement Award.

For Playbook, which has had some real doozies over the years, even though I read it every morning and oftentimes it's very good, that is maybe one of the top five worst playbook takes of all time.

Yeah, well, it's already not lived. The take is already a brown banana because it has not captured the amount. It's like it isn't mission impossible.

One of the many reasons it wasn't like mission accomplished is because he wasn't president when he said it.

Right?

So, of course, it didn't matter beyond that.

I thought the foundation's decision to put it on a banner behind us was a mistake, but other than that,-.

I also had multiple politico reporters that I was talking to say, Yeah, that was absolutely terrible.

It's a rare win. Tommy dishes the tea.

I'm not naming names. Get him, Tommy.

Original reporter I'm not naming names.

I'm not naming names.

Dylan Byers in the House.

I'm getting nervous, booed.

No, you're getting booed, I was saying, booed, booed, booed.

Booes and boos can sound pretty similar.

Love it, but they're different.

I love the shit.

A lot of things sound similar, but are different.

Remember when the Bruins had a goalie named Andy Moog and everyone should say Moo, and it sounded like Boo?

You remember that one lived up the street for me?

Do I remember a Bruins goalie?

Well, next category, it's usually-.

Oh, that we're calling out the winner.

Well, I want to say, unless it's, Oh.

Do we want to read them again or are you guys? No, no, no.

It's playbook.

Playbook.

Also, there's a lot of evidence that Barbie and Taylor Swift and Beyonce did have a big.

Influence on the economy did have a big influence on the economy.

That was a great take, and then the dating thing was just sort of funny and silly.

I think that the I did not. I did not enjoy the take of the dating article because it's a little bit like, you know, every once in a while. The New York Times will do a story about how somebody, a progressive, will win a small town mayorship. And then some MAGA people will, like, you know, throw rocks at their house. And then the headline of the article will be like, A nation divided, can it come together? And it's like, that article is a little bit like that, because it's like, Hey, a group of men have made themselves undateable freaks. Will marriage survive? Probably not for them, but for the rest of us.

Yeah, bad news, gentlemen. Great. So it sounds like it is a universal playbook. Congratulations.

I do remember.

Including us, specifically, us and everyone listening. Vermin, just vermin, all the way down the vermin. Line. Prompted an entire media cycle saying that Trump was channeling the spirit and tenor of a well-known historical figure. As Reid put it in his document, Adolf Hitler, Remember him, gentlemen.

You know, they say that Donald Trump is like Hitler.

He's using the same words that Hitler used, well, Hitler used the word chair.

OK, I sit in a chair that doesn't make me right, you see, but they don't stop, do they? Yeah, is this a problem?

So good. Hitler used conjunctions.

Just a dumb fucking. Let's just say, just think of the people that worked on. What a good point, what a good point.

I like that you could even hear him go, uh, like, in the middle of. He's like, I know I'm just about to bail, but he can't up next, almost nothing riles the right, like reproductive freedom. But as abortion has become an achilles heel for Republicans in elections. Right wing pundits have started to get creative with the ways they argue that abortion shouldn't be banned. Because they're liars, of course.

Abortion is based on a fear that is greater than the actual reality. And if you don't believe me, talk to somebody who had a baby and then think about how they were before they had the baby.

That's called a transformational change, right?

It's the best anti-abortion argument out there, and no one is making it. People do have their reasons for abortions. But underneath all that is a fear of this transformational change.

And if you, what?

Jesus Christ.

I don't, I just I don't understand the take.

I think the idea is that if you scream at a woman and say you'll be happy after you have a baby. And you're like, I guess I'll put aside all the other considerations, right?

Like, life threatening.

You don't know what's good for you exactly, you're going to be so psyched.

You might have a life threatening complication with your pregnancy and could die.

But but if you let Greg Gutfeld into your hospital room to scream at you, maybe you'll.

Be good, yeah, put on the five.

Up next, we hear the pundies. We don't want to just celebrate mainstream right wing media outlets like Fox or Newsmax. No, we know there is a great, big cesspool of far right commentators swimming in the vast ocean of the internet that are well worth being made fun of. And that ocean, of course, is a toilet.

Not since Jefferson dined alone.

Here's what Fuentes had to say about. Of course, a topic that we all want to hear a way in, and the Birds of the Bees.

You should not seek sex because if you seek sex, you will become gay, because sex is a gay act.

Famously straight.

Yeah.

What the that was wild? Okay, I never heard that.

I want to hear the remaining contenders, but I kind of know what's going to happen.

Finally, here in California, we love overpriced smoothies wearing shorts year round. Love it, I'm talking to you. And, of course, a great workout, especially yoga, but Candace Owens has her own ideas about a different kind of yoga that we all should be doing.

So let me tell you why I like conspiracy theories. I like conspiracy theories because I view them as mind yoga. Very important to bend your mind like a pretzel sometimes to make sure that you actually have a mind. You know what I'm saying, I actually do believe that if you don't use it, you lose it.

That's a tough one, too.

What was the first one again?

Well, I'll be happy to recap. We, of course, have Newsmax's Greg Kelly, Hitler also said. Chair, we have Greg Gutfeld. The transformational change of forcing women to have children.

I will say, for that last point, I do think you gotta have one, you gotta have one, you gotta have one that you believe. I, for one, personally believe that. Fidel Castro is the father of Justin Trudeau.

Yeah, we do know that.

We all need one.

That is yours.

Yes, yeah, I do, I do. The timelines add up.

This is another episode, if you want to go check it out.

Oh, we did this once, didn't we?

We did.

We certainly did, anyway. I'm sure there are votes for Fuentes, but I personally think the Gutfeld take is the more kind of fulsome, terrible.

I think I'm with you.

Yeah, I just think this idea that a guy hosting a low-rent fallon for conservatives, telling women that they don't understand what's good for them, is the story of America in 2023.

Some truth to that?

Okay.

I do think the Fuentes thing is instructive in a similar way. And just, it's a reminder that a lot of the worst people in politics in the United States and all over the country are just sad, pathetic men who can't get girls to talk to them. And it leads them to this place where you're an actual Nazi.

Right, just have like just very confused and untouched.

Intel culture.

Well, on that note, congratulations Greg Gutfeld for winning the pundie for dumbest conservative outrage.

Allowing Americans to loot, allowing Americans to shoplift up to $900, not prosecuting street level theft. Is this the establishment's way of paying reparations without admitting it?

Wow.

Okay, off to a great start. Wow up next we have. Speaking of the holidays, Jesse Watters has thoughts about the Nutcracker and Santa Claus.

Gay Nutcracker, complete with a rainbow hat, a trans flag, full price, $12.

I, of course, have two of them here with me.

So that's the gay nutcracker. But do we have the Um? The other one I think is is, Oh, no, do you? Are we going to play the the Santa one?

No, but there is. They also have, uh, come out against, uh, black Santa in a wheelchair.

So, so, one of the So as part of the war on Christmas target, and this is part of that clip, is that they're selling a Santa who is black and use a wheelchair, and that is being that that is part of their war on Christmas coverage. But, of course, it's not anti-Christmas because it is Santa, it's just anti-wheelchair.

Well, but Megyn Kelly famously told us that Santa is white, so it's a war on Christmas.

Because you're changing with your Santa eye.

Right, right, just okay. Sorry pal, I get it.

Anyway, reparations is still in the lead for me. I don't know if we have another.

No.

Um, up next again. In July, the world was eagerly awaiting the start of the Women's World Cup, and Jesse Watters, unfortunately, was too.

Some people have told me that I have actually done more for women's sports than Megan Rapinoe has done that. Maybe she's a traitor in the war on women, and I have fought valiantly in that war. Yeah, obviously on the women's side, and that's not me saying that.

That's funny. I'm sorry if that was funny, that is funny.

He's not saying it, he also does disagree with it.

Um, just a quick reminder that Jesse Watters flattened his now wife's tires so that he could do a damsel in distress thing and give her a ride home. To an intern at the time, Yeah, what a good guy. He let the air out of her tires.

He told this story on television He told this story on television. They were like, But it's okay because we're married now.

And everyone was like, Ah, yes, you're a serial killer.

And finally, Jesse isn't just an advocate for women's sports, he's also a paragon of masculinity, with a lot of thoughts about how men should drink liquids. Let's hear that clip.

Joe Biden used a straw. Now, if you've seen me on The Five or on Primetime, you know. I recommend that all men refrain from using straws. It's unbecoming the way a man's lips purse the size of the straw is just too dainty the way your fingers clasp on it.

Straws are just baby dicks.

When you think about it, he said, they're too dainty. If he had a big fat straw, it sounds.

Like, he'd be like a PVC pipe, some real circumference on that. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing.

There's something that is very frustrating to me about this. It can't be that the woke liberals are taking away our straws, and straws are just for fags and kids. It can't be that you have to just pick one.

Good point.

Well, she didn't play the second part of the clip, where he said The only thing gayer than a plastic straw is a paper straw.

I was going to say, that is pretty believable.

I just think it may not come up in the polling, but just underneath. Some of Biden's challenges related to age are. Every time you're handed a paper straw, a little part of you is like, I could vote for Trump. I don't know if it'll stop this, but it couldn't hurt.

Without my gentleman.

Or they don't give you a straw at all.

Yeah, I got it, yeah.

How am I supposed to drink this thing?

In Los Angeles, you have to ask for the straw, I know.

I think it's a city ordinance, right?

Yeah, it is a city ordinance.

You bet it is?

Welcome to L.A.

Yeah, thanks, Garcetti. Where are you now? Is he in Mumbai or not?

He's taking all their straws away.

He took away our straws one way ticket to fucking Mumbai. Adios man, get out of here. Every time I go to Starbucks, I got to ask for a straw, my dentist told me to.

It's like when Shane Gillis says learning too much about World War II is early onset republicanism.

It's a very similar vibe.

So, gentlemen, just to recap, we have is looting reparations gay nutcracker bad? Some people have told me I have actually done more for women's sports than Megan Rapinoe. And, of course, Biden, using a straw, it's more than a little gay. Which of these should win the illustrious Jesse Watters Bonus Award?

For me, it's reparations by a mile. It's not often you just get like, pure, uncut racism like that.

If that was said at a group dinner, jaws would drop.

Right, shocked?

People would leave.

There's no debate over that one. It's just right there, yeah.

Reparations Jesse Watters.

Congrats, Jesse.

You stink.

Suck.

Category four Worst take by a pod save American. That's you guys.

I think I know what mine is.

You guys aren't in the prediction business. I can't read, come on, which is funny because you made a lot of predictions this year. OK, Here are the nominees for worst.

I was using the long span of history.

Yes, the long arc of justice.

There was one great mistake.

Dan taking it down for having too much faith in Tommy Tuberville.

It was short for a baobab treat.

Up next, while Love had got a lot of heat for supporting Tim Scott, our very own Jon Favreau made an even bolder prediction back in June.

What, I don't know what this is.

Vivek Ramaswamy would beat at least Ron DeSantis.

I'd say that.

Obviously, Vivek's star has since fallen rapidly.

Hey, the votes have not been counted.

I was going to say.

There's still plenty of time.

Remains to be seen.

I think it's just so he could smile, and you're like, well, one of them could smile. It's going to be that one, but then when he opens his mouth, it's all bad.

That's ridiculous.

I'm not saying anything else is true about what he said. I'm saying if she did, do it, if she did it.

That's my bad take. I've had so many worse takes than that. Gwyneth was innocent.

In a court of law, can you just convey a worse lovett take than that?

All of a sudden, we believe in the court system, okay?

I didn't pick these. I think we're going to have to pretty soon.

Much like how Warren Beatty didn't write all the envelopes. I am simply hosting the pundies I was given this, and I am posting, gentlemen, who's taking home the award for worst take?

Wait, we don't have a Tommy take, we have an entire Tommy round.

It's a surprise.

You should have let me say something obnoxious first, to set myself up.

Damn it, it was so close, it was on the tip of his tongue.

I will nominate myself for Mike Johnson.

Okay, ugh.

That's fine. End the lesson, which means I may-.

He cares too much.

I may fucking fag.

So, gentlemen, who is taking home the award for worst take by a Podsafe America host sans Tommy Round?

Yeah, it's definitely a fight for my heart.

I do think that was tough, that was tough. I mean, we'll see with the Vivek thing.

Yeah, exactly plenty of time.

Also, you have two takes from me that are clearly wrong, one from John that is likely wrong, but not yet wrong. So we can hang on to that. And then one where you're just disavowing the American justice system.

That's true.

Devin, would you say mental yoga right now?

I believe very much in mental yoga, actually. If you don't, you're the one who's crazy, Dan.

Anyways, category five.

Up next now, you might all be wondering, not a single bad take from Tommy all year, and that's true. He was on an absolute heater. Okay, John, John and Dan, you could learn a thing about discipline and consistency from Tommy.

What was Tommy up to?

Here are your nominees for the What was Tommy Up to Award? First tweet at Gavin Newsome Off to a great start. Put politics aside and name Ben Shapiro, your emergency flood coordinator. He'll have this place bone dry in no time.

That's good.

That's a good take, you guys don't know what that's referencing.

That's just funny, that's a good take.

Up next, being over 40 means you will never understand why everyone is tweeting Kevin James photos. That's okay, this is my Twitter serenity prayer.

That meme made no sense.

I still don't understand that.

Kevin James Everywhere, even the people tweeting Kevin James didn't know why they were tweeting Kevin James, I know what you mean.

I don't know either.

Look at her, does anyone know here?

I'm sorry, but I do know.

Can you explain it?

Well, it's because he's making a real funny face and it's like, what if he's the DJ? what if he's the DJ? The idea is, who put that terrible song on? And then you cut to Kevin James being like, Oops, it was me, Kevin James.

That's the lesson that love at once to impart to all of us Don't overthink it.

Don't overthink it.

Up next, this might be the least relatable article ever written. You gorged on your European vacation but lost weight? I also saw that I didn't understand it.

I think it was in the New York Times.

Could that possibly be true?

It was some bullshit about, like, preservatives, I think.

Oh yeah, our food's bad. I think it was the point.

Yeah, it was insufferable.

Oh, the idea that you can go to Europe, gorge for a week and not gain weight. Because in America we have xanthan gum in our fucking food. What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

Does that ever happen?

I think that might be my one conspiracy theory.

Because you walk through the cities the whole time.

Oh, that's your cerebral cortex, cat-cow over there.

Oh yeah.

I feel it working out. You're the dawdward dog up in here, thinking about all that bread. And finally just got a phone burner auto-generated email message that started Happy New Year to you and your family. Get your shit together, people.

I think the last one maybe.

Yeah.

I think is the award for like, what is?

Yeah, they've all got a real like.

The first one's the funniest.

A lot of like, Where's my schnippers Deli? kind of.

Ooh, I hadn't thought about schnippers in a while.

That is referencing a infamous but famous also John Podhoretz tweet where he yelled at a hamburger place and he drove himself off Twitter.

And then came back and then went off again.

I think the broader point here is in the year in which many Americans took Twitter off their phone, tweeted less. Tommy leaned in, he really leaned in.

He did, didn't I? I twitted more, I sheryl sandberged that shit.

So again, tweeting at Gavin Newsom about Ben Shapiro's WAP opinions.

That's my winner.

Ben tried to explain, And boy, that was a tough walk.

There's some holes in this one. That's pretty yelling, that's a pretty, that's yelling.

I think the auto-generated message.

That's what embarrasses me. That's one step away from being like, Southwest. You technically didn't board the B group in order.

Fabulous.

Postmates stop with the robots.

I hate the robots.

I do, too.

Tommy, Great job, thank you. Keep them coming. And finally, this is the last category and we've had a lot of fun.

That's one of the best stories of the year.

That is a very self-aware story.

At least the pulitzers or the pundies.

Well, let me just read a quick quote. He is, of course, interviewing the Twitter clothes reviewer Menswear Guy, I love that guy, and the quote is When Guy. The menswear writer watched a video of Desantis cycling through four different facial expressions in about three seconds. During a news conference, which we've all seen before, he said something disturbing. What he said was, Oh, God.

Yeah.

But that's that man's journey that's complicated.

You should have got Dan's balls on the byline. Straighten that story out.

At the very.

So awkward.

It wasn't just the first.

It's really.

He's so awkward, I'm still pulling for Vivek.

The jaw is dancing like he's been at Studio 54 for a couple hours.

A lot of teeth grinding.

That's all I'm saying.

A lot of teeth grinding.

Another timely reference.

I'm not here to give NewsNation advice, but they were trying to make a little extra income. On top of the 55,000 viewers a night, they get premium Desantis Cam.

Yeah.

Five extra bucks you get Desantis the whole time never leaves them. Dan just saved the news business.

I love that. Five more dollars, just the feet.

Desantis feet.

Yeah.

Up next, we have Peter Baker in The New York Times with an article titled Trump flourishes in the glare of his indictment.

I remember this story, this is one of the worst stories of the year, and I'm going to say.

I'm assuming he needs a flourish of his hand after he backhands a maintenance man for not ruining his boxes of confidential documents with pool water. Here's an excerpt from the article. He has spent the days since a grand jury called him a potential criminal, milking the moment for all, it's worth savoring the attention as no one else in modern American politics would. That's not good.

So I do think we need to say I think the Harry Enten take was just a fine look at the data. It was just trying to find an argument. I think that this is, and the Ben Taras story, I thought, was a great piece. So I think this is very clearly between the Republicans Saved the Republic and the Peter Baker.

Because we're basically in the take program, which means any take I make right now isn't eligible for next year's take of the year. Very smart, Dan. So the take I'm going to offer is Harry Enten right then, still correct right now.

Wow.

Damn Daniel, Alright.

What does that mean?

Doesn't get a current Kevin James meme, but damn Daniel, Tommy's like, what if my vine isn't working? is anyone else having problems getting their new vines?

Ben Taras famously smoked out Tim Scott's girlfriend, too.

He did.

And wrote that amazing piece on the Conway marriage, where they let him into his house.

I was, by the way, so confused, I was like, Ben Taras smoked weed with Tim Scott's girlfriend.

Now I read that article.

There is something about there is a kind of handshake between the Peter Baker. Trump flourishes under indictment stories, and the Trump is a dictator standing astride history because indictments can't stop him and normal politics can't stop him. Which is this idea of Trump as a magical figure who hangs above everything, like a fucking fart? And I just sort of, I just think there's something that unites the anti-Trump and non-partisan media in how they sometimes talk about Trump. That's just an observation I wanted to make.

That's a good observation.

And no one embodies that better than Peter Baker.

Absolutely nobody.

His stories are all bangers in that regard. I gotta go with Henry Olsen, just because, yeah, it's the Republicans, the Republican Party, the elected leaders of that party, just famously backing away from Trump at all the right moments.

Well, it's just sort of like, here's the thing.

This is the axis dancing bear thing. He leveled it up with a trampoline.

Wait, what?

Have you ever heard Axarod say that?

Dancing Bear on a trampoline.

No, when a bear is dancing, you don't critique the bear's dancing, you just say, What the fuck's a bear dancing for?

Oh well, cool, great minds. I also think Joe Biden's too old.

Also a prick.

Wow.

I feel like that's the take of the year, gentlemen. Holy shit.

Holy shit, unbelievable.

Somebody get the kevlar.

What the fuck? Well, congratulations.

It was right before our bus review.

I didn't know what I was on to. It's the fucking holiday.

Jesus.

Congratulations to Peter Baker, Henry Olsen, of course, John Favreau. For those takes, gentlemen, this was this year's pundies. Thank you for having me.

Alley keeper.

Crushed it all, right? A few quick housekeeping notes. 2024 is a huge, super high-stakes election year, and there's so much to keep track of. You've got important voting deadlines, volunteer shifts, emergency therapy and apparently you still have to go to work and stuff.

Slash Store now, it's very funny and good.

That's cool. I didn't know we were going to sell that.

I love when John learns the housekeeping for the first time.

It's every time. Also, if you're looking for something to binge this holiday season, Friends of the Pod subscribers now have access to a new limited-series feed where you can listen uninterrupted to this land. Dreamtown, Adelanto and another Russia. Right now, three fantastic limited series that we've done here. Check them out. Head to Cricket.com, Slash Friends to sign up and listen.

Don't we start with the previous year's resolutions? Don't I get to hear it? Oh, sorry, you turned to me to talk.

My mouth was open to say another sentence.

It didn't seem like it.

Leave it in.

Leave it all in.

LOVEtt Let's start with you. Here's what you said last year.

Thank you, I want to start more books.

I don't need to finish them. No, no, no.

It's specific I want to start more books because I feel like there's this pressure. Abdul made this resolution about finishing more books. No, no, no, that's wrong.

How'd you do?

I fucking crushed. My audible is a graveyard of first chapters. I did it. Remember early in the year I was talking about how I was reading that book, Rise and Kill first, about the early days of Israel and the Mossad.

It gets up to 2012.

Once it got morally ambivalent, I got out when they were hunting Nazis. I was fucking in. By the time it got to the part where this is a deeply, deeply troubling situation, I was like, fuck it. Time for some fiction.

I don't remember that that was your resolution, but I did the same thing this year.

Good, I'm proud of you.

I started my Kindle, just a ton of books where there's 10 done, 8 done.

Anyway, big Amazon over here.

What's your resolution for this year?

I was thinking a lot about where my resolution was going to be, and here's what my resolution is. As everyone listening knows, I have discovered a new kind of emotional and psychological discipline around diet and exercise, called experimental pancreas medicine.

Great, good luck, thanks.

As long as I can keep this novo Nordisk, keep this shit rolling off the fucking assembly line, I think I'll be fine.

Next up is Dan.

Sometimes the diabetics get all the medicine and gotta wait.

Next up is Dan Dan. Here's your resolution from last year, dan you got one for 2023, in 2023, my.

Resolution is to not mail in the year's resolution section of this podcast, which I do every year.

Yeah, we really do come up with them in real time.

Okay, well, that's it, huh? Well, you know what? The playback next year is not going to be as weird.

Debatable. I'm going to set some context, which is two years ago. I went first and my resolution was something very basic I was going to start playing pickup basketball again. Then, right after, we went. Lovett, who gave a very extensive, vulnerable take on how he's improved his mental health and how he wanted to focus on it.

It was post-pandemic, that was post-pandemic.

Coming out of the pandemic, it was very thoughtful. Then we get to our show last year and they played Lovett's first and then mine, which did not age well.

Mine was to find joy and meaning in the small things. And Dan's like, dribble, dribble, dribble.

I want to shoot more.

But then I will admit that 90 minutes ago.

I'm so glad.

Here we go.

First, I asked John if he would tell me what my resolution was. Because, like the Nerdy is, he prepped for this by listening to last year's pod on the way to the studio.

And I was about to tell Dan, but then he's like, because I just, I can't do it last minute again. And then I was like, You know what, I can't tell you?

You already have done it last minute, I have, I already failed.

I already failed. I think this is going great.

So next year, I'm not going to do that one again because I will fail it again. So I've got to say something I have at least a slightly greater chance of.

This is the most meta resolution I've ever heard.

In my life, just like looking through mirrors.

Yes.

The thing I really want to work on this year is regaining some semblance of my attention span.

Oh, that's a great one.

Yeah, because I really have felt, trust me, I looked at the order in the script.

That's great, I like that resolution. alright, here's what I said last year, resolution for me.

It on a regular basis, if you have a non-profit organization, a charity, whatever.

A worthwhile cause.

If you need Jon Favreau's time, message him on social media Hey everybody.

Can you just hear that silence? That's the sound of soup not being ladled.

I just want you all to know I have never whiffed on a New Year's resolution as hard as I whiffed on that one. I did zero volunteering. Oh, buddy.

That is not true. I went door-to-door.

I didn't cut that as volunteer.

Yeah, I was the set of footprints next to you.

We did the taste of home thing with Emily and Hannah.

I thought about that, that was two years ago, that was for their birthday. Two years ago, I had the same thought, Tommy.

Look.

There's one thing I learned myself in 22 years, I can't help others, maybe I can help myself.

That's where you have to start. How are you going to love somebody else if you can't love yourself, as Rupaul would say?

Part of my resolution is similar to Dan's, which is my attention span's gone. I have a strategy, which is I want to take a walk 20 to 30 minutes a day, maybe a couple days a week. Realistically, where I don't bring my phone and I don't listen.

To anything, it's like on TikTok the silent walk.

Yeah, the silent walk, I've done it a few times over the last year and it actually does clear out your head, makes you feel better, slows everything down. And I think next year, especially with the election and about to have two kids, I could use the time. I'm going to hopefully take just a little time for myself to just walk around with my thoughts. Can I ask you one question?

Just so we put safety into this. Sure, do you remember the time you went for the walk and you fell and broke your shoulder?

Yeah, no, I'm still.

Dealing with that today did you limp home or did you call for help?

Uh, I limped home.

Okay, alright, can I ask, Can I add something to your resolution? I'd like to issue a challenge right now, and here's my challenge. Can you promise to us right now that in the year 2024..?

I was going to say, I've walked into the bathroom and have seen you use your phone.

At the urinal, what's the opportunity cost there? Like a little gander at your own dick. What are we missing out on?

Thoughts, thoughts.

It's a perfect time to look at your phone.