#2159 - Sal Vulcano

2024-05-31 03:07:49

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

2Speaker 2
00:00:01.74 – 00:00:09.52

Joe Rogan Podcast Check it out the Joe Rogan Experience Stream by day. Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.

1Speaker 1
00:00:13.18 – 00:00:15.80

What's up Sal? What's up brother? how you doing good to see you man. What's cracking?

2Speaker 2
00:00:16.32 – 00:00:17.54

Thanks for having me, man.

1Speaker 1
00:00:17.56 – 00:00:20.62

My pleasure, what are you doing out here, man? What are you doing in Austin, Texas?

2Speaker 2
00:00:21.84 – 00:00:26.42

My special comes out today, actually. oh shit, yeah, special called Terrified.

1Speaker 1
00:00:26.74 – 00:00:27.22

What's it on?

2Speaker 2
00:00:27.52 – 00:00:27.92

YouTube.

1Speaker 1
00:00:28.04 – 00:00:28.58

That's the move.

2Speaker 2
00:00:28.58 – 00:00:28.96

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:00:29.40 – 00:00:37.86

Yeah, I'm very happy when guys do that. It makes it easily accessible, it's the best thing for distributing your stuff, people share it easy.

2Speaker 2
00:00:38.02 – 00:00:42.58

It's nice that that's a good option now, because when everybody turns you down.

1Speaker 1
00:00:43.14 – 00:00:44.26

It's a great option.

2Speaker 2
00:00:44.34 – 00:00:45.64

It's still like, Well, I still got a good option.

1Speaker 1
00:00:46.14 – 00:00:56.32

I would think about it even if I had other options at this point, right? Just because I think it's the best distribution platform. As long as they don't fucking censor you, which is a little bit of an issue.

2Speaker 2
00:00:56.46 – 00:00:56.62

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:00:56.62 – 00:01:07.82

They're owned by Google. And it's just like, whenever you're dealing with these giant corporations and there's all these fucking woke kids working for them. It's a lot of sketchy things happen, yeah, but as far as a platform, it's the best.

2Speaker 2
00:01:07.94 – 00:01:08.38

It's great, right?

1Speaker 1
00:01:08.56 – 00:01:09.62

Oh, it's so good.

2Speaker 2
00:01:09.76 – 00:01:14.64

I don't really like, I'm not edgy like that, so I don't really have any of that. my edgier stuff is not that edgy.

1Speaker 1
00:01:14.96 – 00:01:15.42

That's good.

2Speaker 2
00:01:15.54 – 00:01:15.74

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:01:16.00 – 00:01:21.02

Yeah, that's lucky, yeah, because Ari Shaffir when he was putting his out, I was like,....

2Speaker 2
00:01:21.02 – 00:01:22.42

He executive produced it.

1Speaker 1
00:01:22.74 – 00:01:24.60

Oh, he executive produced yours. Yeah, oh, that's nice.

2Speaker 2
00:01:24.60 – 00:01:26.04

We're really tight, yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:01:26.34 – 00:01:32.38

We were just talking about someone gave him shit for releasing his on YouTube. I'm like, you're so short-sighted, that's so stupid.

2Speaker 2
00:01:32.52 – 00:01:33.10

I look at it now.

1Speaker 1
00:01:33.38 – 00:01:43.78

Yeah, it's fucking huge, what does it have, like 7 million downloads or something like that? Yeah, people are stupid, man, they just have this silly idea of these gatekeepers, these fucking institutions.

00:01:44.20 – 00:01:51.94

Which, you know, look, you get a Netflix special. It's great, like the Tom Brody Roast. Great, I'm happy, yeah, and Netflix is doing cool shit like that. It's awesome, but....

2Speaker 2
00:01:51.94 – 00:01:53.38

Did you watch The Throat? Three hours? No.

1Speaker 1
00:01:53.38 – 00:02:00.66

I watched Tony Hinchcliffe's set and Andrew Schultz's set, that's it. Did you see Nicky's? I heard Nicky's was awesome. I haven't seen it yet. I heard Nicky killed it.

00:02:00.76 – 00:02:02.18

Yeah, she killed it, yeah, she goes hard.

2Speaker 2
00:02:02.50 – 00:02:07.46

Yeah, she does. she kills those roasts, man. yes, she kills those roasts.

1Speaker 1
00:02:07.54 – 00:02:08.82

She's really good at roasts.

2Speaker 2
00:02:09.04 – 00:02:09.76

She's strong.

1Speaker 1
00:02:10.58 – 00:02:22.84

She's got strong delivery, you know, she's got. And even when she was shitting on Jeff Ross, I did see that part when she was apologizing to him while she was shitting on him. Which is so Nicky Glazer.

00:02:23.50 – 00:02:24.42

She's so sweet.

2Speaker 2
00:02:24.56 – 00:02:40.08

That Hinchcliffe one with the Liver King, you look like the I don't want to fuck it up. But the Liver King and the Tiger King had a baby that looked like Martin Luther King.

1Speaker 1
00:02:40.40 – 00:02:41.60

Beat up by Rodney King.

2Speaker 2
00:02:41.62 – 00:02:46.58

Beat up by Rodney King and bit by the Lion King, some shit like that, I don't even know. It was a ride.

1Speaker 1
00:02:46.92 – 00:02:47.98

It was such a ride.

2Speaker 2
00:02:48.18 – 00:02:50.12

By the time he finished it, it was just like.

00:02:50.86 – 00:02:55.16

If it was one King shorter, I didn't think it would hit as well, but that king was the perfect...

1Speaker 1
00:02:55.16 – 00:02:55.52

It was a monster bit.

2Speaker 2
00:02:55.52 – 00:02:56.60

It was Five Kings, I think.

1Speaker 1
00:02:56.62 – 00:03:01.22

It was a monster bit. And then the other one, with Jeff, is so Jewish he only watches football for the coin toss.

00:03:04.22 – 00:03:08.68

That's great, I fucking love a roast. I love a good roast joke.

2Speaker 2
00:03:08.96 – 00:03:20.56

You know what's so funny? It's like, you know the Jewish? it's like, you know where you're going with Jeff or Jewish or whatever, but it's like, you. Still, I still find a new way to be. Like, you watch it for the coin toss, you know what I mean?

00:03:20.60 – 00:03:25.26

You can tell that joke a million ways, but I'm still like, Oh my God, that's such a good way to tell it.

1Speaker 1
00:03:26.36 – 00:03:27.08

It's just.

00:03:27.46 – 00:03:32.08

I think people have relaxed more with comedy over the last year or so.

2Speaker 2
00:03:32.08 – 00:03:35.28

For whatever reason, it feels like it dipped a little bit that whole....

1Speaker 1
00:03:35.28 – 00:03:41.72

I feel like people are tired of it all, they realize that it's all just fucking sanctimonious. Horse shit. You want any coffee? I've got some coffee.

2Speaker 2
00:03:42.48 – 00:03:44.34

Maybe after this throat coat.

1Speaker 1
00:03:44.70 – 00:03:46.68

Oh, throat coat, have you been doing a lot of shows?

2Speaker 2
00:03:47.56 – 00:03:49.14

Is that what it is actually? I have?

1Speaker 1
00:03:49.16 – 00:03:49.84

Oh, you got the Covid?

2Speaker 2
00:03:50.66 – 00:03:54.78

No, my baby got me sick. Oh yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:03:55.54 – 00:03:58.28

That'll do it. Those little kids get sick a lot, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:03:58.42 – 00:04:01.20

I was fighting it for a while and then a few days ago, it just died.

1Speaker 1
00:04:01.42 – 00:04:02.12

Do you take vitamins?

2Speaker 2
00:04:02.60 – 00:04:04.42

Every single day and I get mocked for it.

1Speaker 1
00:04:04.74 – 00:04:06.06

You should not get mocked.

2Speaker 2
00:04:06.36 – 00:04:08.06

My dad growing up, he used to take.

00:04:08.06 – 00:04:25.00

We had one cabinet in the kitchen one and we opened it and it was basically a mini GNC, not like GNC. But it was just and every day. My whole life. I'd watch him throw down 30 pills and just swig it. But me, I feel like I have a weak immune system.

00:04:25.50 – 00:04:42.30

I've got a weak constitution, so I try to take the liposome. It's all like I take a D a B a C. I was taking a multi. And then you start hearing, Oh, it doesn't absorb, and you've got to take this one and that one. So I take all immunity stuff. Echinacea, elderberry.

00:04:43.54 – 00:04:44.70

What the fuck else do I take?

1Speaker 1
00:04:44.86 – 00:04:47.70

What do you think causes your weak immune system? Have you ever thought about it?

2Speaker 2
00:04:48.62 – 00:04:50.44

Yeah, I think about it my whole, entire life.

1Speaker 1
00:04:50.62 – 00:04:53.92

What do you think it is? Do you think it's just a genetic thing?

2Speaker 2
00:04:54.06 – 00:05:12.14

I don't know because no one else in my family is like that. So that's what led me to becoming a little bit of a germaphobe, because you want to call it germaphobe. But I just know that if I put myself in the way of, like, if someone sneezes, if I put myself in that, sometimes I can get a common cold. How long does it take you to get rid of the common cold?

1Speaker 1
00:05:12.76 – 00:05:13.34

Like a day.

2Speaker 2
00:05:14.14 – 00:05:17.08

Yeah, but you're like, you eat elk, and.

1Speaker 1
00:05:17.08 – 00:05:30.44

Yeah, I've had a few that last a couple of days, but it's usually one day before. I don't feel good. But I've only had a couple of those recently and I assumed they were the new Covid. Oh, really, yeah, I assumed....

2Speaker 2
00:05:30.44 – 00:05:31.48

And you got rid of it in a day.

1Speaker 1
00:05:31.72 – 00:05:40.04

Yeah, I assumed this last one I got was the new Covid, this last one I got. I didn't even do the IV vitamins, I was just too busy to sit down and....

2Speaker 2
00:05:40.04 – 00:05:43.16

What are they calling it New Coke?

1Speaker 1
00:05:43.18 – 00:05:44.84

There's so many strains, dude.

2Speaker 2
00:05:45.06 – 00:05:45.28

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:05:45.44 – 00:05:49.62

I think we did a thing where they were trying to.

00:05:49.62 – 00:05:54.50

We were reading about it online where they were trying to document all the strains and how many were they up to Jamie?

00:05:56.32 – 00:05:58.74

It's a crazy number, there's a lot of strains.

2Speaker 2
00:05:58.84 – 00:05:59.78

I thought there was like four strains.

1Speaker 1
00:05:59.92 – 00:06:04.80

No, no, no, no, there's dozens, yeah, and they keep coming around, new ones come around.

00:06:04.88 – 00:06:12.68

New variants come around. What they're saying is like, this is just how we're going to be forever. Yeah, that stuff's just out there in the wild now, yeah.

00:06:12.76 – 00:06:13.64

Those little gremlins.

2Speaker 2
00:06:13.94 – 00:06:15.94

So that doesn't bode well for me, but I.

00:06:16.46 – 00:06:24.14

Common cold one, two weeks min. Really. Yeah, I've had a cold like five, six weeks many times.

00:06:24.32 – 00:06:25.84

Wow, lingering, not like....

1Speaker 1
00:06:25.84 – 00:06:27.04

Do you ever do IV vitamins?

2Speaker 2
00:06:28.70 – 00:06:43.08

I've only done it twice in my life, it's so funny. I shot the special in December in Chicago and the day of. I woke up and I had a cold because I was just running myself into the ground, right? So I woke up. My throat was like it was hurting me.

00:06:43.14 – 00:06:52.46

It was like scratchy, my voice was raspy and I had like no energy. I'm like, Ah, freaking the fuck out, right? So I get to the theater and I'm telling them like, I don't know what to do, like, I feel so weak.

00:06:52.46 – 00:07:01.90

I got to do something. So Ari's feeding me these all day long, he's feeding me these Baroqa tablets. They're like these vitamin dissolving tablets, that....

1Speaker 1
00:07:01.90 – 00:07:02.96

Right, he's into those.

2Speaker 2
00:07:03.26 – 00:07:19.04

Yeah, they're like, a billion percent, whatever, right? So he's feeding me those and then I get to the place and they get me the IV and the guy gives me a B12 shot. Yeah, and then I had just started vyvanse, what's that?

00:07:19.24 – 00:07:59.62

It's for ADHD, so it's like an adderall. Almost. Oh, no, and I had just started it a few days earlier, so I'm like, not really, it hasn't really, like, I'm not really regulated to it yet. And I just didn't realize that the tablets Ari would give me. I looked back afterwards and they all had caffeine. And then I got this B12 shot 20 minutes before the first show and I was on the Vyvanse, which is Adderall, and it was the highest dose. I didn't realize that this was all happening to me. And like, three minutes before I went out, I was the most wired I ever was in my entire life of 40. Like, I just was, I was like, literally, and then I had the adrenaline just because it was my first taping.

00:07:59.62 – 00:08:00.82

You know what I mean? Oh my God.

1Speaker 1
00:08:00.82 – 00:08:03.10

And I was ready to stroke out.

2Speaker 2
00:08:03.30 – 00:08:05.14

I was holding my hand and it was doing this.

1Speaker 1
00:08:05.36 – 00:08:06.36

Oh, Jesus Christ.

2Speaker 2
00:08:06.36 – 00:08:13.30

And I was like, Ari, you gave me three of these fucking things today. Every one of them has 200 milligrams of caffeine. Oh my God, he's like, I didn't give you three, I'm like, you gave me three.

00:08:14.48 – 00:08:24.54

You didn't give me, How did you look me in the face? We were both there. It's not like I'm here in the second hand and then I think the B12 shot just put it over the top.

1Speaker 1
00:08:24.60 – 00:08:26.92

Oh my god, what a combination.

2Speaker 2
00:08:26.92 – 00:08:31.04

I didn't use one second from Show One.

1Speaker 1
00:08:31.14 – 00:08:32.50

Oh my god.

2Speaker 2
00:08:32.84 – 00:08:33.98

Not one second.

1Speaker 1
00:08:34.76 – 00:08:38.90

Is it like Adderall, or is it because it's Adderall?

2Speaker 2
00:08:38.96 – 00:08:41.40

It's basically Adderall, Yeah, it's like the same exact thing.

1Speaker 1
00:08:41.94 – 00:08:44.74

And why did you think you needed that? Why do you think you needed Adderall?

2Speaker 2
00:08:45.38 – 00:08:49.30

I mean, I suffer from ADHD and a little OCD for like, my whole life.

1Speaker 1
00:08:49.96 – 00:08:55.10

So what does that mean, like when you say ADHD, how does it manifest itself in your life?

2Speaker 2
00:08:55.10 – 00:09:13.28

So many ways, mainly the thing that affects my life is I can't focus. I can't focus on something for, especially if I'm like, up and down days. But I can't focus on something for more than like, if I'm trying to complete something, I won't complete it.

1Speaker 1
00:09:13.38 – 00:09:14.26

Like, what kind of stuff?

2Speaker 2
00:09:14.48 – 00:09:28.82

Like, if I'm writing, or if I have just stuff to do, anything at all, paying bills, anything. Where I have to use my mind. I'll plant my ass down and I'll be trying to write or send an email or whatever. My leg is shaking like crazy because I don't want to sit there.

00:09:30.96 – 00:09:48.00

It's helped because I can multitask like 500 things at once, but it also hurts because it's really hard to get something done. I can't remember anything, so I have like 50 lists in my phone, they're all labeled and prioritized. That helps me, but I have to use that, otherwise I won't remember anything.

00:09:49.40 – 00:09:59.90

Right, I have trouble reading. Like, I'll read a page and then I will be like, I have no idea what was on that page. I have to read the page again, so I end up reading really slow.

1Speaker 1
00:10:00.14 – 00:10:06.32

Is it with everything you read, or is it only some stuff? Is there anything that you read where? That's not a problem?

2Speaker 2
00:10:06.48 – 00:10:08.70

Books are tough, like long-form reading.

1Speaker 1
00:10:09.06 – 00:10:10.76

Like fiction or nonfiction.

2Speaker 2
00:10:11.18 – 00:10:16.16

Just a lot of pages in between two covers. The genre doesn't play into the fact.

1Speaker 1
00:10:16.16 – 00:10:21.96

There's not one book that just captivated you and you easily could read it.

2Speaker 2
00:10:22.36 – 00:10:29.96

Yeah, like I said, there's good and bad days. If I'm reading a biography or I'm really into it, I don't really read fiction.

1Speaker 1
00:10:30.72 – 00:10:31.24

Oh, okay.

2Speaker 2
00:10:31.50 – 00:10:33.26

Yeah, but I like biographies really.

1Speaker 1
00:10:33.64 – 00:10:34.22

Oh, okay.

2Speaker 2
00:10:34.26 – 00:10:44.52

If, something like that, but honestly, it's really tough. I really don't read as much, you know how many books I've bought? I have a lot of books, but so many aren't open.

1Speaker 1
00:10:45.34 – 00:10:46.74

You're like, one day I'm going to read that.

2Speaker 2
00:10:46.76 – 00:11:01.28

I have this guilt that I think about that I know I'm not going to do. I owe it to myself to read all these books and I just keep picturing myself on my deathbed, being like, the books, you know what I mean? I just want to read that book.

00:11:01.40 – 00:11:02.44

It's wasted money.

1Speaker 1
00:11:02.90 – 00:11:06.12

It is, but it's also nice to have books in your house.

2Speaker 2
00:11:06.32 – 00:11:06.94

It is.

1Speaker 1
00:11:07.10 – 00:11:17.20

I have this weird theory about books that I haven't read that are cool. It's like, at least they're near me. At least I'm getting the energy off of that book, that really good book, whoever wrote it, whatever it is.

2Speaker 2
00:11:17.20 – 00:11:17.86

Yeah, I can see that.

1Speaker 1
00:11:17.88 – 00:11:19.74

I know that book's awesome, it's sitting right there.

2Speaker 2
00:11:19.88 – 00:11:24.76

Yeah, yeah, I can't even listen to audio. Do you think audio books would be the solve? It doesn't help you.

00:11:24.76 – 00:11:30.34

No, I can't listen to someone unless it's really, really good, but it's hard to listen to someone drone on.

1Speaker 1
00:11:31.16 – 00:11:37.66

It's hard, but a lot of them are really good at it. There's some really good voiceover actor guys.

2Speaker 2
00:11:37.80 – 00:11:38.12

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:11:38.84 – 00:11:46.44

Including they do fiction, so they do a bunch of different voices. It's a real art form now, it's almost like old timey radio stories or something.

2Speaker 2
00:11:46.80 – 00:11:53.14

Yeah, that I love, I love it. My buddy I do a show with, he has a bunch of books published.

00:11:55.08 – 00:12:07.80

One of the things we have, when does this come out? I don't know if I'm supposed to say we keep a lot of secrets from each other and then surprise each other on the show. If you don't know, people don't know, it's just called impractical jokers. It's me and my buddies of 35 years.

1Speaker 1
00:12:07.80 – 00:12:09.76

Fucking huge show dude, it's gigantic.

2Speaker 2
00:12:10.02 – 00:12:10.60

It's crazy.

1Speaker 1
00:12:10.76 – 00:12:11.06

Congratulations.

2Speaker 2
00:12:11.50 – 00:12:12.42

Thank you so much, thank you.

1Speaker 1
00:12:12.56 – 00:12:24.92

I remember when guys were talking about it in the parking lot of the store, when it was just blowing up. And people were talking about your shows that you were doing. You guys were doing shows and they were just mobbed and everybody was like, that show is huge.

2Speaker 2
00:12:25.42 – 00:12:28.58

Yeah, it was wild, not expected or anything, it was on True TV.

1Speaker 1
00:12:29.06 – 00:12:37.10

Yeah, which is not a network where people really blow up from. There's a few, though, but it just shows you if something's fun, people find it.

2Speaker 2
00:12:37.36 – 00:12:52.94

Yeah, there was nothing like it, they only did, they had no joke. They had two different pawn shows. This is when we got on, they had two different pawn shows, three different towing shows and two storage shows.

00:12:53.76 – 00:13:05.36

And then they showed the stupidest criminals of all time, and that was it. We were the first comedy, so I guess it kind of resonated on the channel because we were, like, alone in that manner.

1Speaker 1
00:13:05.54 – 00:13:07.66

I heard a lot of those storage shows are for gazing.

2Speaker 2
00:13:08.90 – 00:13:10.60

So much of all the reality stuff is.

1Speaker 1
00:13:10.88 – 00:13:12.24

Oh, a lot of it is, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:13:12.26 – 00:13:13.74

I mean, I'd say 95%.

1Speaker 1
00:13:13.74 – 00:13:19.40

There's a lot of finagling going on behind the scenes with the truth, just for narratives and stuff.

2Speaker 2
00:13:19.42 – 00:13:23.32

If you pause the credits, like, there's always like that fine print in the credits. Oh yeah, I think they have to say that.

1Speaker 1
00:13:23.68 – 00:13:42.58

They're allowed to, like, they use it to create a theatrical piece that's not necessarily representative of what actually happened. I mean, bro, they've been looking for Bigfoot for nine seasons now. Well, no, it's more than that, right? How many seasons of finding Bigfoot ghost versions of the show? That are like refinding him or resurfacing him?

2Speaker 2
00:13:43.08 – 00:13:46.40

Refinding him, refinding him. Looking again, there's so many.

1Speaker 1
00:13:46.82 – 00:13:50.30

So many fucking dorks in the woods looking for nothing.

2Speaker 2
00:13:50.44 – 00:13:53.16

Even ghost, it's like, I mean, people.

1Speaker 1
00:13:53.94 – 00:13:56.92

I'm more interested in ghost than I am bigfoot.

2Speaker 2
00:13:57.30 – 00:13:57.66

Me too.

1Speaker 1
00:13:57.66 – 00:14:12.82

Because the thing about Bigfoot is like, I think it was probably a real animal. And I think there's some ancient stories that are passed down for thousands of years. Sure, I think that's probably what it was, but ghosts are weird because they're in every culture, right?

00:14:13.00 – 00:14:23.00

And I haven't experienced a ghost, but I imagine if I did trying to explain it to someone and not sound like a fucking maniac, like just a crazy person. Oh, I saw a ghost.

2Speaker 2
00:14:23.22 – 00:14:23.70

Let me try.

1Speaker 1
00:14:24.02 – 00:14:24.74

Okay, you've seen one?

2Speaker 2
00:14:24.94 – 00:14:27.54

Didn't see one, but here's the thing I don't believe in ghosts.

1Speaker 1
00:14:27.74 – 00:14:28.24

Oh, okay.

2Speaker 2
00:14:28.32 – 00:14:31.56

But then I had this happen to me and now I don't really know what to feel.

1Speaker 1
00:14:32.22 – 00:14:35.92

Cue the spooky music, any spooky music over there, Jamie.

2Speaker 2
00:14:36.34 – 00:14:52.14

My family believes in ghosts, they're all for it. My sister had a thing, she lived at home, and she came home one day. And she opened the door to her room. And every single one of her closet drawers were open, every single thing that could be open in the room was open.

00:14:52.46 – 00:15:05.80

And it freaked her out a little bit, and she asked if anyone did it. It was just my stepmom and my dad. They said no, and she felt uncomfortable about that, and then she closed everything and then whatever she used to lock it after that.

00:15:06.18 – 00:15:18.04

And then she locked it, and one day, like months later, she had locked it. She came home, she opened it and they were all open again. I tell her I don't even believe, I don't know what, She's not lying to me, but I don't know what to make of it. But I don't think it's a ghost.

00:15:19.34 – 00:15:20.02

But my grandpa?

1Speaker 1
00:15:20.10 – 00:15:21.90

That's not that spooky, that's like the hulk.

2Speaker 2
00:15:23.66 – 00:15:25.34

I was about to get a massage.

1Speaker 1
00:15:26.18 – 00:15:28.96

Yeah, that was like waiting for the candles to be lit.

2Speaker 2
00:15:29.64 – 00:15:36.88

But my grandfather died in the house. But like, I don't know, but that's not what I was saying one night I was home.

00:15:38.58 – 00:15:40.66

There we go. It was foggy out.

00:15:45.02 – 00:16:00.52

So I used to live alone and I'm in bed, and I'm laying in bed. My television is on and I do lock. Even when I live alone, I lock my bedroom door when I go to sleep, I lock my bathroom door when I'm taking a shower. I always have.

00:16:01.28 – 00:16:07.00

So my door is locked and I'm laying there and I'm watching TV and I sleep with a CPAP.

00:16:09.58 – 00:16:21.84

So what's good about that is I can go all the way under the covers like a cocoon. And I still have a form of debris. So I like, wrap myself like a fucking burrito, for real, it's so delightful. Look at the CPAP.

00:16:22.86 – 00:16:24.48

You're breathing, you're scuba diving.

1Speaker 1
00:16:25.26 – 00:16:28.68

You're scuba diving in your sleep, that's so crazy.

2Speaker 2
00:16:29.88 – 00:16:42.94

So I love it, so I wrap myself over my head and everything and what I really do. What's really fun when you're in there is to, like, just poke out a foot or a hand, that's really fun and just get like a cool breeze.

1Speaker 1
00:16:43.28 – 00:16:45.58

And then wonder about what's under the bed is going to bite your feet.

2Speaker 2
00:16:46.10 – 00:16:49.64

Sure, a little bit. It depends on the night, right? But like, you know.

1Speaker 1
00:16:49.82 – 00:16:52.40

That foot's out there dangling. I don't like haunts.

2Speaker 2
00:16:52.52 – 00:16:56.02

I will tell you that I don't believe in ghosts, but like haunted houses and scares, we can get into that later.

1Speaker 1
00:16:56.24 – 00:16:59.02

Wait a minute. What's the difference? What are they haunted by?

2Speaker 2
00:16:59.26 – 00:17:07.32

Well, like, you know, like fake ones, even. I'm saying, I don't even like the go-through. No, I don't like that shit, but it's less about.

1Speaker 1
00:17:07.42 – 00:17:10.96

That's funny because a guy likes to play jokes on people, you would think.

2Speaker 2
00:17:11.24 – 00:17:15.24

Yeah, I mean, well, do I really play jokes? I don't know what I do really? pranks.

1Speaker 1
00:17:17.12 – 00:17:18.24

It's fun, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:17:19.32 – 00:17:20.76

It's crazy shit we did, but.

1Speaker 1
00:17:21.22 – 00:17:24.84

You don't like a good, haunted house. They jump out of nowhere and scare the fuck out of you.

2Speaker 2
00:17:24.86 – 00:17:26.14

I'll tell you how much I don't like that.

00:17:28.22 – 00:17:37.34

We went on the show, they know I don't like it, so they created. One time, they put me in a cornfield and they made it haunted, and I had to navigate it.

00:17:37.40 – 00:17:47.50

And then the next time they upped it and they got an old mansion and they completely built it all out and made it haunted. And then just put me in there, lock the door and made me alone in the mansion.

1Speaker 1
00:17:49.30 – 00:17:55.72

Did you want to really see a collection of shit that'll freak you out? Go to Zach Bagan's Thing in Vegas.

2Speaker 2
00:17:56.54 – 00:17:58.98

Oh, is that that thing where they get really weird with you?

1Speaker 1
00:17:58.98 – 00:17:59.78

He's got this.

2Speaker 2
00:17:59.80 – 00:18:02.52

Like, it's a visceral thing, like they put a gun in your throat and stuff like that.

1Speaker 1
00:18:02.54 – 00:18:14.76

No, no, no, no, no. He's got this crazy mansion in Vegas that's like a museum of haunted shit, a museum of like, they have Dr.

00:18:15.14 – 00:18:25.46

Kevorkian The van where he killed people, they have the van. Yeah, they have a bunch of stuff that Ted Bundy owned and a bunch of stuff that Ed Gein owned.

00:18:25.94 – 00:18:28.84

Yeah, it's a creepy fucking place.

2Speaker 2
00:18:28.86 – 00:18:31.30

This is the one I had the thing on my, this is the.

?Unknown Speaker
00:18:33.16 – 00:18:33.92

He's stupid.

00:18:35.62 – 00:18:36.56

Oh, you're gross.

00:18:41.96 – 00:18:42.32

I.

2Speaker 2
00:18:43.54 – 00:18:43.90

Yeah.

00:18:45.92 – 00:18:52.16

See, now I know I had to threaten that girl because I know, look, here's the deal. She's not a ghost, I know she's not even.

00:18:53.42 – 00:19:00.56

I'm not crazy, I just mean, I just don't like the jump scares, I don't like it. Like in the Cornfield, they've had a little girl, right?

00:19:00.58 – 00:19:08.94

And I was 20 minutes into this cornfield with little label laws here. This girl's just standing there, waiting for me, she's in like a dress, she's a little girl, pigtails.

00:19:08.94 – 00:19:20.14

And I see her in the distance and I go, Is that a little girl? And then she just raised her hand and pointed at me. And I had to follow this path that they laid out and it went past, it had to go past the girl, right?

00:19:21.00 – 00:19:27.06

I don't know how to explain it, man. I know I know that they did this to me, right? But yeah, I was like, I will.

00:19:27.22 – 00:19:37.62

I know you're a little girl, but I will fucking punch you. I told him. I think when I went past, I'm like, I know you're a girl. I was like, Look, I know I can beat you up, don't jump, scare me because I'm liable to punch you.

00:19:37.64 – 00:19:38.32

I'm letting you know right now.

00:19:42.48 – 00:19:44.58

But wait, so I'll double back on this one.

1Speaker 1
00:19:44.96 – 00:19:47.06

Corn is fucking scary to get lost in.

2Speaker 2
00:19:47.22 – 00:19:48.94

Corn Maze Yeah, it's terrible.

1Speaker 1
00:19:49.22 – 00:19:58.58

It's really weird. There's a place in California where they have a farm and they have a corn maze. You can walk around this maze. It's fun because, you know, you can eventually get out.

2Speaker 2
00:19:58.60 – 00:19:59.42

Going at night alone?

1Speaker 1
00:19:59.74 – 00:20:08.72

You get lost in this maze, you get really lost, and it's kind of confusing. And now, imagine this is thousands of acres, right? And you're in the center of it with no water.

00:20:08.72 – 00:20:12.32

And you have no idea, you might be walking around in circles, you really have no idea.

2Speaker 2
00:20:12.50 – 00:20:14.78

You may as well be on, like the mountains, when people die.

1Speaker 1
00:20:15.16 – 00:20:18.04

People die in Cornfields, man, that's a real thing.

2Speaker 2
00:20:18.14 – 00:20:24.54

I mean, I feel like, yeah, it depends how dense it is. I mean, if I was ever in that situation, I just go straight and not stop.

1Speaker 1
00:20:24.96 – 00:20:34.02

I wonder how many people over in history have died in Cornfields? Just heat exhaustion. Eleven get lost.

2Speaker 2
00:20:34.18 – 00:20:34.80

Eleven Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:20:35.00 – 00:20:35.50

That's what you think.

2Speaker 2
00:20:35.50 – 00:20:37.34

We had looked it up for real, no.

1Speaker 1
00:20:37.86 – 00:20:39.56

Let's guess, let's say a guess.

2Speaker 2
00:20:39.66 – 00:20:41.46

I want to guess, but then it's going to suck.

1Speaker 1
00:20:41.66 – 00:20:48.28

I think 11 is a solid number. I think 11 is a good guess, like 11 people over the course of America have died. In Cornfields, No.

2Speaker 2
00:20:48.34 – 00:20:49.14

Back in the day.

1Speaker 1
00:20:49.42 – 00:20:49.76

A lot.

2Speaker 2
00:20:50.44 – 00:20:51.30

Think about that.

1Speaker 1
00:20:51.44 – 00:20:54.34

But they didn't have monocrop agriculture back then.

2Speaker 2
00:20:54.36 – 00:20:55.28

I don't even know what that is.

1Speaker 1
00:20:55.42 – 00:21:08.80

That's like these giant cornfields, okay, where, like in this country right now, look this up because I think it's true. I think 5 of the land mass of the United States is being used for cornfields.

2Speaker 2
00:21:11.92 – 00:21:12.80

That's crazy.

1Speaker 1
00:21:13.02 – 00:21:17.16

That's wild, that's so crazy. I think that's correct.

2Speaker 2
00:21:19.16 – 00:21:21.50

The guy on my show that I was.

1Speaker 1
00:21:21.50 – 00:21:27.18

By the way, I just read the headline of that, I'll be real clear. Yeah, I didn't even read the whole article, I just read the headline.

2Speaker 2
00:21:27.18 – 00:21:28.88

Oh okay, okay, well, this guy....

1Speaker 1
00:21:28.88 – 00:21:29.86

So this might not be correct.

2Speaker 2
00:21:29.86 – 00:21:37.16

He put a cornfield in his yard, He has five acres. He built a cornfield registered as a farm so he could get tax breaks. He has to sell $50,000 worth of corn in order to get it.

1Speaker 1
00:21:38.08 – 00:21:38.40

So.

2Speaker 2
00:21:38.40 – 00:21:39.28

I'm trying to do that right now.

1Speaker 1
00:21:39.38 – 00:21:41.08

How much corn is $50,000 worth of corn?

2Speaker 2
00:21:41.08 – 00:21:43.08

No clue. It feels like a lot to me.

1Speaker 1
00:21:43.30 – 00:21:45.84

Isn't it funny that the government subsidizes corn?

2Speaker 2
00:21:46.34 – 00:21:46.84

It's wild.

1Speaker 1
00:21:47.06 – 00:22:03.84

Well, you know where it all came from, it came from World War II, so during the war. Like, people need food, and they wanted to make sure that in the future they would have stockpiles of food. You know, like the war just ended, but who knows what's going to happen now with Russia? We could be into it again.

00:22:04.00 – 00:22:10.38

Let's prepare. And they started subsidizing corn production, then they just started using corn for all kinds of extra stuff.

2Speaker 2
00:22:10.56 – 00:22:10.74

Right?

1Speaker 1
00:22:11.10 – 00:22:16.68

That you're not supposed to use it for, like, oil, yeah, you know, or, you know, corn syrup.

2Speaker 2
00:22:16.68 – 00:22:16.98

Corn syrup, yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:22:16.98 – 00:22:17.74

That stuff's.

00:22:17.74 – 00:22:24.76

I can't find the percentage which I'm trying to get to, but I've got 97 million acres, which is about the same size as California.

2Speaker 2
00:22:25.72 – 00:22:30.90

What? Wow? Oh, there's no shortage of that, then.

1Speaker 1
00:22:31.02 – 00:22:39.06

There's so much corn, okay? So like, what percentage of that is? California's got to be more than 5 of the country, right? Nah, you think so.

00:22:39.16 – 00:22:46.94

Because, I mean, they're not counting Alaska, right? Alaska's so big, Alaska's like way bigger than Texas, and Texas is enormous.

00:22:47.26 – 00:22:49.54

I think Alaska's like three Texas's.

2Speaker 2
00:22:50.28 – 00:22:54.10

Really, what percentage of that corn do you think we're consuming and what's going to waste?

1Speaker 1
00:22:54.10 – 00:23:04.32

I don't know if it's a waste thing. It just goes because you can use it for so many different things. You can use it to make alcohol, you can use it to make corn syrup.

00:23:04.44 – 00:23:15.36

You can use it to make oil. You know, I think they're just it's like a money racket, it's like they've cornered this market. And people were better off when they were using actual sugar.

00:23:15.90 – 00:23:28.76

And people were better off when they weren't eating corn syrup. In fucking everything, it's just not good for you. And then you know what people think is corn or canola oil, that's not canola oil.

00:23:28.80 – 00:23:40.38

That's rapeseed oil, that's an industrial lubricant that they figured out a way to refine. Down to the point where human beings can eat it and not die immediately. And people fucking put it on everything.

2Speaker 2
00:23:40.60 – 00:23:51.50

This is the first time like I've really, like in the last like 10 years or whatever. When I was a kid, we didn't eat it, I mean, like my parents, like I love them, but like we didn't eat fresh vegetables, we had canned everything.

1Speaker 1
00:23:51.50 – 00:24:08.90

It says about a third of America's corn crop is used for feeding cattle, hogs and poultry in the U.S. Corn provides the carbs in animal feed, while soybeans provide the protein. It takes a couple bushels of American corn to make corn-fed steak. By some estimates, a beef cow can eat a ton of corn if raised in a feedlot.

00:24:09.44 – 00:24:39.32

Both dairy cows and beef cows also consume silage, which is fermented corn stalks and other green plants. So, a third of the corn crop is used to make ethanol, which serves as renewable fuel additive to gasoline. The rest of the corn crop is used for human food, beverages and industrial uses in the U.S. or exported to other countries for food or feed. Use. Used to make breakfast cereal, tortilla chips, grits, canned beer, soda, cooking oil, biodegradable packing materials.

00:24:39.58 – 00:24:41.82

Have you ever watched that documentary? King Corn?

2Speaker 2
00:24:42.28 – 00:24:42.52

No.

1Speaker 1
00:24:42.62 – 00:24:43.12

It's great.

2Speaker 2
00:24:43.12 – 00:24:44.14

It's a good one.

1Speaker 1
00:24:44.30 – 00:24:54.38

It's a good one to watch. It's a giant industry that's not good for us. It's like all the things that it does, like you can do with other things, and you'll be better off.

2Speaker 2
00:24:54.40 – 00:24:55.16

Right, right, right.

1Speaker 1
00:24:55.36 – 00:24:56.54

It's captive.

2Speaker 2
00:24:56.82 – 00:24:57.88

It'll never change.

1Speaker 1
00:24:58.00 – 00:25:00.14

Also, corn on the cob is fucking delicious.

2Speaker 2
00:25:00.22 – 00:25:02.40

That's the best corn, it's great, that's the best form of corn.

1Speaker 1
00:25:02.54 – 00:25:08.14

There's nothing wrong with corn. I love corn on the cob, corn's great, I like cream of corn soup.

00:25:08.28 – 00:25:09.44

Cream of corn soup is great.

2Speaker 2
00:25:09.44 – 00:25:10.74

I haven't had that. Oh, I love that.

1Speaker 1
00:25:11.74 – 00:25:14.30

I love cream corn. you ever have cream corn at a steakhouse?

2Speaker 2
00:25:14.50 – 00:25:14.94

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had it.

1Speaker 1
00:25:15.06 – 00:25:16.66

Corn's great, don't get me wrong.

2Speaker 2
00:25:17.04 – 00:25:20.02

But on the cob, it's like the sweet corn, it's the best, that sweet corn.

1Speaker 1
00:25:20.04 – 00:25:28.14

Oh, with butter, butter and salt, when you take the butter, and the butter takes on the shape of the corn cob. Because you're just reckless, you're running a whole stick of butter around that.

2Speaker 2
00:25:28.18 – 00:25:32.84

You fill the whole, that's how I do it. Oh yeah, you hold the stick and go like this, Oh yeah, yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:25:33.24 – 00:25:39.78

Dude fucking sweet corn fresh off the grill with butter. Oh, one of the best things in the world.

2Speaker 2
00:25:40.00 – 00:25:40.32

It's just like a typewriter.

1Speaker 1
00:25:40.32 – 00:25:42.02

Oh my God, so delicious.

2Speaker 2
00:25:42.40 – 00:25:43.24

Three, four of those things.

1Speaker 1
00:25:43.42 – 00:25:43.74

So delicious.

2Speaker 2
00:25:43.74 – 00:25:49.76

I don't know why they're better and you take that same exact corn and you kind of put it, just take it off. It's good, but it's just better on the cob.

1Speaker 1
00:25:49.80 – 00:25:59.80

It's also you're getting the melted butter in all the kernels, and it's in your mouth while you're biting into it. Oh yeah, do you know what else? They used corn cobs for? what?

00:26:00.10 – 00:26:03.28

In the 1800s, pipes before toilet paper.

2Speaker 2
00:26:03.88 – 00:26:04.24

Whoa?

00:26:06.24 – 00:26:07.80

Jesus Christ to wipe their asses.

1Speaker 1
00:26:07.80 – 00:26:10.18

Can you imagine how rough their assholes were back then?

2Speaker 2
00:26:10.46 – 00:26:13.32

Because it catches. Why? because of the shape.

1Speaker 1
00:26:13.56 – 00:26:23.72

Because they had it, I think, because they just were just dummies, they were living in a dumb ass time. Early North American sailors used corn cobs. they were abundant, soft and easy to handle.

00:26:26.58 – 00:26:41.24

Look at this. Sailors used something they called a tow rag by the way back then, they didn't even run in water, so it's not like they washed these things off. You're a sailor with a corn cob, you're going to use that corn cob over and over again. They were smearing new shit over the area, over the old shit.

00:26:41.36 – 00:26:43.60

To dry it up, they dangled it in the water to clean it off.

00:26:45.28 – 00:26:49.18

A bit of a dangle, fix it up, lad Aye.

2Speaker 2
00:26:49.64 – 00:26:54.72

You ever think about how people would have sex back then? how would people still fuck back then?

1Speaker 1
00:26:54.76 – 00:26:56.08

They were disgusting things.

2Speaker 2
00:26:56.10 – 00:27:00.42

Think about how many years, it's only the last hundred years that people aren't disgusting.

1Speaker 1
00:27:00.52 – 00:27:04.96

Yeah, we were talking about St. Agnes, who went his whole life. Was it St. Agnes? Yeah.

00:27:04.96 – 00:27:09.18

His whole life without having a bath.

2Speaker 2
00:27:10.60 – 00:27:12.36

His whole life, he copped to that.

1Speaker 1
00:27:12.78 – 00:27:20.76

Once a year, it was a lot. No, it wasn't even that it was like you were supposed to do that. Oh yeah, bathing was thought of as a ridiculous thing to do.

2Speaker 2
00:27:21.44 – 00:27:24.80

I mean, day three, it starts to be a problem. How long did he live?

1Speaker 1
00:27:24.80 – 00:27:35.08

I don't know what happens, I wonder what happens, what just happens. If you never bathe, we just assume that you have to bathe. Maybe that's the source of a lot of our problems.

00:27:35.32 – 00:27:41.90

We're not covered in dirt and bacteria all the time. We're supposed to be like a normal animal. Maybe that warded off interacting.

2Speaker 2
00:27:42.12 – 00:27:43.62

Maybe that warded off-.

1Speaker 1
00:27:44.06 – 00:27:49.06

I bet it. No, it didn't do that, no, it didn't stop, right. No, not at all.

2Speaker 2
00:27:49.06 – 00:27:50.70

You don't think a T-rex would be like, ugh.

1Speaker 1
00:27:50.90 – 00:28:02.84

I don't know how we made it so far. I really don't. I really don't. I don't understand it. I mean, I know it was the invention of weapons and tools and stuff and building houses. But god damn, we're so weak.

00:28:03.14 – 00:28:16.26

How much different were we back then? We are so fucking weak. I just can't imagine us without the houses and the weapons. How did we even make it that far? How much of a change was it once we developed the houses and the weapons?

00:28:16.76 – 00:28:32.76

We are so bitch ass as an animal, even if you're fit and in shape, even if you're a UFC fighter, you're like Islam Makachev. To compare to the nature world, our animal species is so bitch ass.

2Speaker 2
00:28:32.94 – 00:28:34.56

Right, right, right, we're so bitch ass.

1Speaker 1
00:28:35.08 – 00:28:36.98

It's insane that we made it this far.

2Speaker 2
00:28:37.12 – 00:28:38.64

Yeah, it is, I guess just.-.

1Speaker 1
00:28:38.66 – 00:28:44.32

Just the fact that we even survived to the point where we made a bow and arrow, like how?

2Speaker 2
00:28:44.66 – 00:29:00.66

How did everything not just run up on us and eat us? I don't know. I always think about this, too. There's always the first time, first person. There was one person who was like, Oh shit, hold on a second, I guess.

00:29:00.78 – 00:29:01.28

And now-?

1Speaker 1
00:29:01.64 – 00:29:11.10

I guess they probably stepped on things and cut themselves with it and then realized they could pick those things up and cut other things with it. And then they figured out how to make those things.

2Speaker 2
00:29:11.16 – 00:29:13.22

Yeah, and then we got email.

1Speaker 1
00:29:13.70 – 00:29:14.32

Then we got email.

2Speaker 2
00:29:14.42 – 00:29:14.98

Fast forward.

1Speaker 1
00:29:15.14 – 00:29:16.28

Fast forward, you got AI.

2Speaker 2
00:29:16.62 – 00:29:16.94

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:29:17.08 – 00:29:27.36

Fast forward, Yeah, I mean, could you fucking imagine being born in Africa 500,000 years ago?

2Speaker 2
00:29:27.66 – 00:29:34.38

If you put me in Africa now, if you put me in the forest right now.-.

1Speaker 1
00:29:34.42 – 00:29:34.88

In the Congo, right?

2Speaker 2
00:29:34.88 – 00:29:43.86

If you put me anywhere right now, I'm done. I don't know any, I don't know how to make a fire, I don't really, I don't know how to. I don't know anything, I can't explain anything, I can't explain to you how mirrors work.

1Speaker 1
00:29:43.86 – 00:29:59.80

Because some places, like I was reading this thing, no, it was actually Paul Rosalie, Paul Rosalie was talking about this. If you get caught in the Amazon. Do not try to make a fire because you won't be able to, and it'll break your spirit like you're not going to be able to make a fire.

2Speaker 2
00:29:59.80 – 00:30:00.76

I didn't think that's where you're going with that.

1Speaker 1
00:30:01.20 – 00:30:05.78

If you're lost in the Amazon, forget a fire, it's not going to happen.

2Speaker 2
00:30:05.82 – 00:30:08.28

Your broken spirit will kill you before the elements.

1Speaker 1
00:30:08.28 – 00:30:23.30

You will realize how hopeless your plight is when it is impossible for you to make a fire. So now you're going to realize that everything that you eat is going to be raw, and you're going to have to catch things and eat them raw. To stay alive. And now you're an animal.

2Speaker 2
00:30:23.82 – 00:30:30.06

No, I don't even know like I'd be on the trying to catch a small animal and strangle it. What am I going to do?

1Speaker 1
00:30:30.12 – 00:30:43.90

And the likelihood of them finding you is so small if you just go on a walkabout. If you're like some wacky dude who goes off his meds and decides to go on a walkabout in the Amazon, they're not going to find you.

2Speaker 2
00:30:43.92 – 00:30:46.46

So many walkabouts just don't turn out well.

1Speaker 1
00:30:46.66 – 00:30:47.70

A lot of them don't.

2Speaker 2
00:30:47.92 – 00:30:49.64

Why keep walking about it?

1Speaker 1
00:30:49.66 – 00:31:00.62

Well, why are walkabouts so romantic to us, you know, like that movie with the kid who, uh, what was the movie called? Where he lived in the bus in Alaska? Yeah, into the wild.

2Speaker 2
00:31:00.86 – 00:31:01.50

Oh yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:31:01.70 – 00:31:08.98

Into the wild It's so romantic to us for someone who just goes out into the wild. And even if the dude dies out there like that guy did.

2Speaker 2
00:31:09.22 – 00:31:19.02

Maybe there's some type of like, whether it be just finding yourself or like, just being at one with these elements as much as possible. Feels like something romantic, I guess.

1Speaker 1
00:31:19.36 – 00:31:25.24

Yeah, it feels like this understanding that we're disconnected from the rest of the world because.

2Speaker 2
00:31:25.24 – 00:31:27.16

Of what we've created, it gives perspective, for sure.

1Speaker 1
00:31:27.58 – 00:31:37.28

Perspective, I mean, it does give perspective. It's also like, the more disconnected we are, the more ridiculous we behave, like, where do people behave the most ridiculously?

00:31:37.46 – 00:31:47.94

In big cities, the most disconnected from nature, the most you're living in concrete jungles. Honk, honk, fuck you, you're living in New York City like you're disconnected from nature.

00:31:48.12 – 00:31:51.60

Period, fuck your park, park's cute. Yeah, that park's cute.

00:31:51.70 – 00:31:59.06

It's surrounded by New York City, like that is, it's so unnatural, it's so contained, it's actually contained by the city, the park is contained.

00:32:00.34 – 00:32:04.38

It's peaceful, it's peaceful enough, right? It's a nice park, it's a lovely park.

2Speaker 2
00:32:04.52 – 00:32:05.68

Have you been through it all? Have you been through it all?

1Speaker 1
00:32:05.86 – 00:32:07.66

Yeah, I've been through the park, it's lovely.

2Speaker 2
00:32:08.04 – 00:32:19.42

Because it's like I thought I went to it, but then one day I, like, really went to it. It's like I went to like every area, which is, there's so many things I didn't know, it's really big, there's like 50 things like places.

1Speaker 1
00:32:19.68 – 00:32:35.32

It's a beautiful thing about New York City that they have that park in the center of it. It really changes the dynamic of the city. It does, I think it makes the city a more, a more livable place, a more friendly place. I mean, it's crazy that you have this insane urban environment and then inside you have this massive park.

2Speaker 2
00:32:35.50 – 00:32:37.40

It's like another world in there it is.

1Speaker 1
00:32:37.56 – 00:33:03.66

There's, there's, but the difference between that and the woods, the actual woods, like the Colorado Rockies. The difference being out there, in the waking up and just looking. And all you see in front of you is mountain peak after mountain, peak after mountain peak. And it just goes on. That is a different feeling, that's the real feeling. That feeling is, I think that feeling is like a thing we're supposed to get.

00:33:03.82 – 00:33:16.24

I think that's a supposed to be, it's my heart. I think it's a part of our requirements of being a human being, that we connect with the earth, that the earth sees us. We see it, we're out there in it and we realize our actual place.

00:33:16.32 – 00:33:40.40

We get all cocky in a fucking Uber in New York City, get now buying a slice and you think you're all disconnected. We think we're better than we just trapped in our own little fucking zoo, the little zoo that we've created. But when you go out in the world, you feel so vulnerable, you go out into the woods, you feel so, so minuscule and and but connected, connected.

2Speaker 2
00:33:40.48 – 00:33:47.30

But you're right, you start to feel where our places, we are, not as as we are. Bitch ass, Yes, that's right, that's a bitch.

00:33:47.36 – 00:33:51.02

That first wave that comes over you is a bitch ass wave, right?

1Speaker 1
00:33:51.02 – 00:33:53.10

Compared to all the other things, bitch ass.

2Speaker 2
00:33:53.22 – 00:34:06.90

I don't think I'm catching anything, I don't think I'm going to kill any. I. What do you think you feel like when you? You're not even at a point where, like, it just happened? But you know, you ain't getting out of it. So it's like your survival mode is going to kick in. How long you last, I don't know.

1Speaker 1
00:34:07.08 – 00:34:10.78

You probably go into shock, right? like a bear grabs you, you probably could just go into shock.

2Speaker 2
00:34:11.10 – 00:34:15.54

Well, I had this conversation yesterday actually. So would you be able to play dead?

1Speaker 1
00:34:16.12 – 00:34:28.80

It depends on what the bear wants, man. See, there's two types of bears, black bears and brown bears. Black bears are more likely. This is two types of bears. in North America. there's the Black bears.

00:34:28.96 – 00:34:39.20

They're also brown, too. A lot of black bears are very even blonde. They look blonde. Sometimes they're called color phase bears, but they're more like black bears are more likely to try to eat you. Oh, I thought they were.

00:34:39.24 – 00:34:47.66

They're more likely, no, they're more likely to try to bite you and kill you, to eat you. Whereas brown bears, for the most part, when they're killing people. Grizzlies, yes.

00:34:47.96 – 00:35:06.40

Brown bears are the big ones, are the ones that are the coastal bears because they have access to all the seafood. That's why those are like those Kodiak bears, enormous, enormous grizzly bears, but it's the same bear, it's the same species. It's just you have the inland one, which is eating mostly animals and berries and shit like that.

00:35:06.42 – 00:35:09.20

And then you have the coastal ones, just gorging on salmon.

2Speaker 2
00:35:09.38 – 00:35:12.70

And so they're fucking huge. They put me in a cage with two of them.

1Speaker 1
00:35:12.70 – 00:35:27.92

They're actually less likely to try to go after you because they have an abundant food source. Like, there's people that, like, camp out by the river and watch these enormous fucking. Bears just eat salmon, but the bears don't want to have nothing to do with you, they're just eating salmon.

2Speaker 2
00:35:28.60 – 00:35:43.66

But like the Revenant, right? I don't care what kind of bear it is. If there's a bear coming at you, the bear has bad intentions. Black, brown, white. And they tell you to lay down and just stay there. Like, I know that, like, the bear's going to catch you if you keep running. But you could, you think that you could play dead in that moment?

1Speaker 1
00:35:43.80 – 00:36:03.24

No, it doesn't matter, it'll just start eating you. So why is it? because if it's a mama bear, so if a mama bear goes after you, because her cubs are there. If you, you stump and you scare her, like, if you come too close and she doesn't know you're there, she thinks you're a predator, she may charge you.

00:36:03.26 – 00:36:12.74

She charges you and bites you, and you should play dead. You should play dead with her because she's not trying to eat you, she's just trying to protect her cubs.

2Speaker 2
00:36:12.98 – 00:36:13.76

She wants a knockout.

1Speaker 1
00:36:13.84 – 00:36:16.26

But it doesn't mean she won't eat you either, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:36:16.40 – 00:36:19.50

It doesn't mean she won't eat you. How do you play dead when she's chomped through this?

1Speaker 1
00:36:19.60 – 00:36:27.28

Sometimes she just wants to eliminate the threat and then get her babies to safety. Yeah, so that's why playing dead works with mama bears sometimes.

2Speaker 2
00:36:27.92 – 00:36:28.86

So you're just hoping for a mama?

1Speaker 1
00:36:29.00 – 00:36:38.52

But it's a big sometimes, it's a big sometimes because sometimes they just eat you like they're bears. We don't have like a fucking like treaty with them, right?

2Speaker 2
00:36:38.52 – 00:36:42.24

That's why my strategy is just not to put myself in a place where there are bears.

1Speaker 1
00:36:42.56 – 00:36:43.36

That's a good move.

2Speaker 2
00:36:43.44 – 00:36:45.26

You know, and that'll help you. It's worked so far.

1Speaker 1
00:36:45.34 – 00:36:46.78

That'll help you a lot in this life.

2Speaker 2
00:36:46.90 – 00:36:47.20

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:36:47.64 – 00:36:49.94

If you want to avoid getting eaten by bears, don't go to a place where they live.

2Speaker 2
00:36:49.94 – 00:36:51.90

Have you come across one like that? Like, just in the wild?

1Speaker 1
00:36:52.16 – 00:37:07.42

The scariest thing I came across? I've talked about it too many times on the podcast. But to tell you, I saw a big mountain line from about 30 yards away. But I was inside my friend's truck and he spotted it. It was about dusk, it was in Utah in the mountains.

00:37:07.42 – 00:37:28.68

And we were taking this corner and he hits the brakes, he goes, Look at that cat and we look in. About 30 yards away, under a tree is this enormous, enormous mountain line. With like a head, like a pumpkin dude, and these giant forearms. And just sitting there were like, Holy fuck man.

00:37:28.78 – 00:37:35.68

And I had binoculars, so I pick up the binoculars, so I have these 10 power binoculars. I'm looking in its face, Oh shit.

00:37:36.00 – 00:37:41.22

But I'm protected, I'm inside the car, we have a gun, I'm protected and I'm shitting my pants.

00:37:41.30 – 00:37:50.34

That's crazy, like I felt like some primal fear, some primal recognition of an actual monster, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:37:50.72 – 00:37:52.60

Yeah, that kicked in from the inside.

1Speaker 1
00:37:52.80 – 00:37:57.40

From inside, a truck with a gun with the binoculars.

2Speaker 2
00:37:57.42 – 00:37:58.26

Yeah, yeah, dude.

1Speaker 1
00:37:58.72 – 00:38:00.94

You look at this thing and it's eyes were kind of.

00:38:01.20 – 00:38:04.06

Because it's dusk, the eyes are kind of glowing a little bit.

2Speaker 2
00:38:05.04 – 00:38:06.58

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:06.62 – 00:38:08.08

No, thank you, no thank you.

1Speaker 1
00:38:08.20 – 00:38:09.94

Those are the real monsters.

2Speaker 2
00:38:10.64 – 00:38:15.54

I had a collie dog bite me once and I was that scared, so it's like, I'm not going to go, hey bro.

1Speaker 1
00:38:15.62 – 00:38:17.86

If your cat wants to fuck you up, that's a real problem.

2Speaker 2
00:38:17.90 – 00:38:19.32

Yeah, yeah, I don't do cats.

1Speaker 1
00:38:19.54 – 00:38:22.18

But imagine a cat that's 170 pounds?

2Speaker 2
00:38:22.88 – 00:38:23.18

Yeah.

1Speaker 1
00:38:23.34 – 00:38:24.90

Dude, it's so scary.

2Speaker 2
00:38:25.18 – 00:38:25.70

This is like.

00:38:25.70 – 00:38:29.30

It's so big, you ever see these guys on like Instagram like they live with lions.

1Speaker 1
00:38:29.76 – 00:38:30.68

Those guys are.

2Speaker 2
00:38:30.68 – 00:38:34.60

Like, on the couch, and they're like, come over and they just feed them, like a sandwich, and.

1Speaker 1
00:38:34.60 – 00:38:34.88

They.

00:38:34.88 – 00:38:36.92

Melanie Griffith grew up with Lions.

2Speaker 2
00:38:37.32 – 00:38:37.86

No, what?

1Speaker 1
00:38:38.02 – 00:38:41.08

Her whole house was filled with lions, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:38:41.56 – 00:38:42.74

How does that?

00:38:42.74 – 00:38:46.82

That's not something everybody knows. Her house was free roaming lions. We've tried to get the news out.

1Speaker 1
00:38:47.20 – 00:38:55.82

No, no, no, they had pet lions, I mean, enormous pet lions. There's all these photographs of her as a child in California, right?

00:38:56.12 – 00:38:59.22

Wasn't it? Her family was kooky.

2Speaker 2
00:38:59.74 – 00:39:04.86

These were just kooky lion pets. Yes, it wasn't like they were like carnies or something.

1Speaker 1
00:39:05.64 – 00:39:13.64

No crazy lion people, and they did a movie with these lions, and the movie is supposed to be like the dumbest movie of all time. Illegal?

2Speaker 2
00:39:13.78 – 00:39:14.56

Was it illegal to do that?

1Speaker 1
00:39:14.56 – 00:39:18.18

This is the movie, What's it called Again? Roar, What is it, Jamie? Roar?

00:39:18.36 – 00:39:24.40

Roar So these are all their lions. And a bunch of people got fucked up in the making of this movie too, by the way.

2Speaker 2
00:39:24.42 – 00:39:25.48

No shit, I don't believe it.

1Speaker 1
00:39:25.52 – 00:39:33.20

Because they used actual real Lions, man and so like, Wait, Melanie Griffith is in this stupid movie.

2Speaker 2
00:39:33.20 – 00:39:35.42

All these clips of these actors right now.

00:39:35.42 – 00:39:39.78

Yeah, interacting with their pets, those are real lions, yes, every one of those people....

00:39:39.78 – 00:39:42.96

Yes, how was that? What was the insurance for that?

1Speaker 1
00:39:44.22 – 00:39:47.44

Insurance and schmorence get the fuck out of here with your insurance.

2Speaker 2
00:39:47.44 – 00:40:00.54

They locked me in a motel room with a tiger, a Bengal tiger in The Joker's movie. They pushed me into a roadside hotel room, closed the door behind me. I turned around, there was no knob on the inside and I just was like, What is this for?

00:40:00.94 – 00:40:11.90

And I heard a grumbling and then literally I was like, guy, I plastered up against the wall because I was like, Dude, it's just a white tiger, just comes out of the bathroom.

1Speaker 1
00:40:11.90 – 00:40:14.78

How can they predict the behavior of that thing?

2Speaker 2
00:40:14.82 – 00:40:16.48

Yeah, that's what I fucking said, too.

1Speaker 1
00:40:16.58 – 00:40:17.60

Bro, that's so dangerous.

2Speaker 2
00:40:17.84 – 00:40:19.28

And if you're freaking out?

00:40:19.28 – 00:40:20.98

It's on a chain which is....

1Speaker 1
00:40:20.98 – 00:40:22.00

What are you talking about?

2Speaker 2
00:40:22.18 – 00:40:25.32

It's chained to the pole in the shower.

1Speaker 1
00:40:25.46 – 00:40:27.72

Bro, I also want you to look at that bitch-ass chain.

2Speaker 2
00:40:28.32 – 00:40:30.06

I thought you were going to say, look at that bitch-ass in the corner.

1Speaker 1
00:40:30.06 – 00:40:32.48

Look at that chain, you don't think he can break that chain.

2Speaker 2
00:40:32.66 – 00:40:34.54

I know he could, I was saying it....

1Speaker 1
00:40:34.54 – 00:40:38.04

Bro, that is so crazy. that's such a crazy thing to do.

2Speaker 2
00:40:38.24 – 00:40:44.62

I just forgot about that until this moment, too. Fuck those things, man, I said to them, Fuck those things, this isn't funny.

00:40:44.66 – 00:40:52.76

It's not even funny, it's how to make the movie. The first thing I said on camera is, Do we have insurance? It's in the movie. I couldn't even play it up and I just....

00:40:52.76 – 00:40:57.26

It stayed in the fucking movie, dude, fuck that, but Roy, Roy.

00:40:57.50 – 00:40:59.24

Look at that guy, that guy that was creed and Roy.

1Speaker 1
00:40:59.66 – 00:41:04.08

Yeah, same thing. He raised that, right, ....Tiger from the time it was a baby.

00:41:04.36 – 00:41:04.76

And he would tell you.

00:41:04.76 – 00:41:13.88

They don't even know why it had. There's all this speculation, there was a lady with some crazy hat on, apparently, and they think that maybe the tiger was agitated by the lady. But it's all just....

00:41:13.88 – 00:41:15.64

The tiger just decided to bite him, yeah.

2Speaker 2
00:41:15.68 – 00:41:25.94

If that's all it takes, is that tiger to get agitated by a lady. I mean, you're playing with Russian roulette your whole life. He would tell you a billion times over it's safe, it's safe, and then he gets his throat cut out.

1Speaker 1
00:41:25.94 – 00:41:31.02

I don't think it tried to kill him, though I think it was carrying him away like a cub.

2Speaker 2
00:41:33.36 – 00:41:34.70

Yeah, I think his limp body.

00:41:34.70 – 00:41:35.30

Did they show that?

1Speaker 1
00:41:35.42 – 00:41:39.06

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't think they showed it, but I think they have it. I don't think anybody's seen it.

2Speaker 2
00:41:39.06 – 00:41:40.48

He didn't die, though, right? oh, he died.

1Speaker 1
00:41:40.62 – 00:41:43.02

He died eventually, but he was paralyzed from it.

2Speaker 2
00:41:43.02 – 00:41:46.96

Like, a few hours later or no, he was paralyzed, yeah, and he kept the tiger right.

00:41:46.96 – 00:41:47.84

He was like, I figure.

00:41:47.84 – 00:41:49.86

Yeah, I mean, it's the lady's fault.

1Speaker 1
00:41:52.26 – 00:42:11.40

You can't trust those things. I was just, Yeah, because when it goes, you saw the one where the guy was, he had a trained grizzly bear for a movie, it had been in a few movies. And he's doing this thing with it. And he just bites this guy's neck off, just jumps on this guy's neck and tears it apart in front of everybody. And there's nothing anyone can do about it.

00:42:11.70 – 00:42:19.36

The bear just jumps on him for no reason. dude's just standing there, just totally standing still, and the bear just decides, I want to bite you.

2Speaker 2
00:42:20.32 – 00:42:28.20

Imagine what you feel in that moment. Knowing that you're going to die, knowing that it's going to be this way, knowing that people are watching and can't help, and you're going to die in front of.

00:42:28.20 – 00:42:30.18

Like, your whole life, when am I going? How's it going to happen?

1Speaker 1
00:42:30.44 – 00:42:37.12

It could have all been avoided. Don't do that, don't get out there. This is just not, it's not 100 kids.

00:42:37.20 – 00:42:38.12

Even if it's 99.

00:42:38.12 – 00:42:53.86

9. That little, tiny one. When the bear decides to just do what nature wants it to do, they want to kill things. Man. It's part of the fun of being a bear, it's part of the fun of being a tiger. It's part of the fun they like to kill things.

00:42:53.86 – 00:43:07.54

That's how they survive, there's a reward system that's built into their DNA. And we have this stupid belief that we could just slide steaks under the door and they'll be cool with that. And then eventually they just want, I want to get my own meat.

2Speaker 2
00:43:07.78 – 00:43:09.54

Yeah, like, you're not the boss of me.

1Speaker 1
00:43:10.00 – 00:43:13.60

So the tiger never attacked him during the Vegas show. He saved my life.

2Speaker 2
00:43:15.18 – 00:43:17.16

I don't know Roy, I don't know if we're picking it up.

1Speaker 1
00:43:17.46 – 00:43:36.12

Why does he think the tiger saved his life? I don't know exactly how it happened, but he said that, like, instinctively, Oh, he said he might have been having a stroke. Hold on a second. Roy maintains that Monacor was really trying to drag him to safety after seeing him felled by what he thinks may have been a stroke.

00:43:36.66 – 00:44:06.88

He said He instinctively saw that I needed help and he helped me. Oh, he was taking medication for high blood pressure for years, said he recently began to suffer dizzy spells, and this one spell unfortunately occurred in the presence of a very large tiger. He said. I started feeling weak. Still speak slowly, but has recovered most of his German accented speech since. I fell over, Monacor saw that I was falling down. So he actually took me and brought me to the other exit where everybody could get me and help me. He knew better than I did where to go.

00:44:07.36 – 00:44:11.86

So he's saying that the tiger fucked him up accidentally while it was dragging him to safety.

2Speaker 2
00:44:11.98 – 00:44:16.22

Did that come out right away? I don't know. I mean, it's amazing if that's what happened, but....

1Speaker 1
00:44:16.22 – 00:44:22.84

Tigers don't understand, you can't just drag a dude by his neck and not break it. Yeah, exactly because we're bitch ass.

2Speaker 2
00:44:22.86 – 00:44:24.24

Yeah, he's like, Lenny, some advice in there?

1Speaker 1
00:44:24.36 – 00:44:34.70

Yeah, you could do that to a puppy. Two gaping puncture wounds to the neck before passing out, Recall said. Leave Monacor alone, bring him back to his brother and sister, let him be happy. These guys are so crazy.

2Speaker 2
00:44:34.70 – 00:44:35.90

I picture Roy being drenched.

1Speaker 1
00:44:35.90 – 00:44:41.34

Suffering from severe blood loss, this picture of just blood squirting. He's like, Leave Monacor alone.

2Speaker 2
00:44:41.76 – 00:44:44.66

Thank you, thank you. Leave him alone. just thank you.

1Speaker 1
00:44:44.66 – 00:44:57.36

Bring him back to his brother and sister. Oh my God, oh my God. Suffering from severe blood loss and shock, he was considered medically dead at one point when his heart stopped. He also suffered the stroke that would ravage the left side of his body.

00:44:57.74 – 00:45:05.26

So, was the stroke before, or was the stroke because of him getting bitten? I mean, if it was, he might be rationalizing.

2Speaker 2
00:45:05.44 – 00:45:09.88

Yeah, yeah, he could have just had the stroke and that would be bad enough, but he could have just had a stroke.

1Speaker 1
00:45:10.08 – 00:45:24.22

Do they know when he had the stroke? I don't see what he's saying. Makes sense, though. If that cat loves him and the cat sees him faint and the cat wants to drag him to safety, it's just they don't know, they can't deal to bite you.

2Speaker 2
00:45:24.52 – 00:45:26.74

You ever see the reunions with these?

00:45:26.74 – 00:45:43.00

The reunions of the trainers and they haven't seen him in years. Like these zoo guys that raise tigers and set them free, and then they reunite them in the wild, they reunite them. And these tigers. Just come charging at the guy, jump up and just start licking him, you see that?

00:45:43.48 – 00:45:51.76

I think that's bad press to put out there, really. I tell you the truth. Why? Because it's making it look like a domesticated house cat. The thing looks adorable.

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