Synced: Ross's Hot Dogs
2024-05-15 01:07:28
Hi, I’m Dax Shepard, and I love talking to people. I am endlessly fascinated by the messiness of being human, and I find people who are vulnerable and honest about their struggles and shortcomings to be incredibly sexy. I invite you to join me as I explore other people’s stories. We will celebrate, above all, the challenges and setbacks that ultimately lead to growth and betterment. What qualifies me for such an endeavor? More than a decade of sobriety, a degree in Anthropology and four years of improv training. I will attempt to discover human “truths” without any laboratory work, clinical trials or data collection. I will be, in the great tradition of 16th-century scientists, an Armchair Expert.
Hi. I love this sweater. Thanks. Is it really like an OG? I think so.
I got it at the Rose Bowl Food Market. Ooh. We were just talking about the Man Vs. Bear. I was like, do you think Monica hasn't seen it?
Well, I saw you did a newsletter. Okay, so you know about it. What were you saying? But do you know what the thing is? Like the prompt?
No. It was like an internet trend. Oh, what was it? Where this guy made this video and he asked these women on the street, would you rather be alone in the forest with a bear or a man? Oh, fuck.
That's a hard question. Right? You would think it's an easy one, and then you.
start thinking it's good. What would be your answer? I guess I'd probably rather have a man in the forest, because I could at least use manipulative tactics. But on a bear, they're just going to maul you. You can't manipulate a bear into- Exactly.
Submission. Respect.
Interesting. What would you pick? Or what did you pick? I think it's a great question. First, you want to say, of course, a man, but then you think through the options.
And I was like, oh no, like 100% a bear, because at least with a bear, I'll die. And with the man,
it's like, who knows what's going to happen? You'd rather definitely die than-.
Be kidnapped and put into someone's basement for 20 years.
No, but so we're for certain, this is a bad dude.
Well, I think it's the unknown of like it might be.
So you think it's a strong enough possibility that it's a bad dude that you would pick that.
Or that he turns into a bad dude. We're alone for an unlimited amount of time. I think it's not just like an afternoon. If I'm stuck there, I think the bear. I think the bear.
would be less of a threat. Interesting. So do you think all men will turn evil?
I don't think all men.
But all bears will.
No, a lot of bears. Okay. I love that you didn't even know about it. This is how much-. No, this is great.
It's been like a whole internet discourse, right? And there's been like many levels of it. So the first level was sort of this conversation. Then there was another level from women who work with bears or like, and women being like, I've encountered hundreds of bears in my life, and I've only been attacked once by a man. Stuff like that of just acknowledging sort of the difference in the likelihood and bear experts or natural wildlife experts speaking to that.
there are people who are attacked by bears every year, but it's not actually that frequent.
That's because the encounters aren't frequent.
No, but even proportionally speaking, like the fact that one in four women will be assaulted, it's not one in four people who interact with a bear will be assaulted.
But I don't think that's exactly an appropriate analogy, because the women are interacting with a ton of men and one bear.
Yeah, but it's the same proportion with the amount of, I mean, I guess-.
But it's not the same proportion, because the quantity is actually different.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, if it was pure numbers, then I think you're right, but it's proportionally speaking. So you have four guys and four bears. There's one of the guys that's going to assault you, and it's not one in four bears that's going to assault you. It's like lower.
How can they know that? There's no way to know that. Well, just so far, in the same way that we examine and observe men and, like, human beings, the likelihood of it happening. But again, to me, that's actually less important. What's really important is sort of the idea that, like, I'd rather die at the hands of a bear because then it'll just be done, rather than like whatever unknown I'm facing with a man.
And sort of just like how omnipresent the threat of sexual assault is, I think, for women. Yeah, it's everywhere.
It is funny because often, when we'd have these conversations, I do think it's an interesting role reversal, because I don't invite very many, like strange men, into my life.
But you do.
So it's kind of funny that you'll say you'll rather die when you kind of spend a life putting yourself in this forest all the time. That's true. And I don't, so I should be more on the side of the bear.
You should be more on the side of the bear. Also, so many men have been upset about this.
I would be, of course. I feel that this is a little extreme. personally. It's so interesting. Don't get me wrong.
Right. So a lot of men are upset and saying, you know, women hate men. And I was like, no, we actually love men. Like the fact that we are willing to still, again, I'll meet up with strange men all the time in an attempt to connect and to be in a relationship with a man, despite a lot of negative experiences with men and the sort of threat that's over all of us. So to me, it's like this shows how much women believe in men and love men, that we're willing to do it regardless.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I think so.
So I'm afraid of men, but I still will like take a risk with them because I love them.
Yeah. So I think the truth is, you would pick the man.
No, I would pick the bear, but I'll still, I'm willing to put up with the risk of being hurt by a man to connect with a man. Women have been asking their husbands, if they have a daughter, like, who would you rather be in forest, be alone with our daughter, a man or a bear? And that's when you see a lot of men again, do the like actual calculation. Yeah.
Anyway, I love this kind of stuff. You don't think you could just like manipulate him?
The man? Yeah. How would you manipulate?
I mean, also, I guess, like, are we trying to get out or are we just like there?
That's a good question.
Because if we're just there, I feel like we'd just be like, I guess we're together now.
Oh, you would?
Your chances of survival are higher with another person in general. So I think you could sort of logically be like, time to team up now. Like if you're stranded on an island.
Do you mean sexually?
I guess probably.
Okay.
I'd probably be like, if I'm literally here forever, this is the person. Wow. And then they probably wouldn't be assaulting me, because I've just like, we'll be together now. You're my woodsy husband.
A lot of people in relationships assault each other, but you would be consenting.
Yeah. I would just like be like, I'm consenting now to this scenario.
Okay. So you would force yourself to like him.
I think. Yes. So I guess it's self manipulation a little bit too. It is to like survive. I mean, a lot of people self manipulate to survive.
Pretty much all of us do.
100%. That's a way to do it. And what would be a non-starter? What would you not be able to force yourself to like, like if he was...
What if he has the smell?
God. You'd probably like start liking the smell.
That's what I bet. I do wonder that if you made a full decision, like this, is who it's going to be. There's no other options in this life. At that point, you don't even want to be with someone you have to. So it is different than like our life, obviously.
So I bet you would start liking the smell. I bet the pheromones would start just smelding together.
Wow.
We could probably do that in life. Just make a hard decision.
Should we pretend like we're in the woods when we're on dates?
It's just hard, because there's much more than just that one person.
It's true. I mean, I've really tried. You know this. I really put in the effort to try and like people that I don't like.
Yeah. Well, it's hard when you can be without someone. Like we don't need people for survival. I mean, we need people, but we don't need a partner for survival in 2024 Los Feliz.
Yes.
But 2024 woods, only one other being.
That's a different scenario. I mean, it's sort of like how it used to be in the olden days. You just couldn't divorce. Like you were stuck with what you had. And you're like, all right, let's do this.
Have you thought any more about our date since we've been on it?
So much.
Do you have updates? Do you have updated thoughts?
A lot of people were excited about it. I feel like a lot of people were texting. I got annoyed after a while. Me too. I was like, I don't really want to.
I've already told it that story. I agree.
So many texts in the morning. How was it?
How was it? I just wanted to like, send everyone a video, but no, it was sweet. Okay. So I did learn new Intel, which I thought was sweet or like funny, which is that the LinkedIn guy, the main guy, not the main guy, but the guy who found the other, he went to dinner a few days before our double date with my friend who set us up. And he said that he was like nervous.
Like. basically, my friend was like, did you think the other guy was good looking? Like, were you into the other guy? And I was like, no, like. I was so into LinkedIn guy.
And she was like, oh, because he said that he was nervous, that you would like his friend more.
Oh, interesting. So, okay. That answers a question a little bit. Cause we were wondering like, have they, what have they thought about?
And it also is sort of similar to how we felt, which we're like, are we going to be competing? Is there going to be this weird energy? And so that's funny. I just never think that, guys, I don't know.
I know you don't give them very much credit. And in some ways you give them way too much credit.
100% accurate. I never do it when it's right.
And it's ruining my life.
But it's good, because now we learned that piece.
Yes. So I thought that was funny. And then he's traveling. He's like, I'll text you when I get back from my trip. Would love to hang out again.
Great. So I'm waiting for the text, but I'm confident.
No, that's great. That's where we are. That's where we're at. And what, do you have updated thoughts?
I have updated thoughts in the sense where I've been, like, is Monica gonna want to see the other guy? Are we all hanging out again?
Right. These are great questions.
What are we doing? What are your updated thoughts?
I don't have that many. I mean, I did the next day think, do I want to see that other guy again? And I'm kind of neutral on it.
Yeah.
And because of the way this all was arranged, I don't have access to that person. So I'd have to, like, we'd have to go through some channels to do it. That hurdle alone, because I don't really want to jump it, to me, is sort of telling. But if we're all hanging out again, I'll be happy to chat with him more. I just am not like, oh my gosh, I really want to keep talking.
But he was great. But yeah. Yeah. That was that update. And just that I think I really liked that.
that is how I was perceiving all of it. At no point was I like, could I partner up with this person? Because I do really think that's the best way to go on a first date, is not have that ruminating thought the whole time, which is what we all do. But this allowed, and again, specifically this, where I was like, I was coming as your friend and he was coming as his friend. If I was in your position, it would have been a little harder.
More pressure. Exactly. A little more pressure. But for me, it was zero. And that was really nice.
Oh, I see.
You already had this sort of setup-y thing happen. So there was a little bit more pressure on the two of you to sort of like see if you liked each other. And it was like, and we'll just like, bring our buddies, which is less. It's like great if, for some reason, we just really hit it off like crazy. But other than that, it's just fun.
Okay. Because, yeah, afterwards I was like, when we recorded, you were like, I didn't even think about it. And I was like, wait, how did you not think about it? But you're right. We have different roles.
Like, there's a little bit different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. And so being, would you prefer being in the role of the setup-y or the setup-er?
I liked the position. But also if I was getting set up, I think I would maybe also like this.
It's different.
It's different. One thing I did not bring up in the episode, but I think is huge about what we did, is you could have things said about yourself that you would normally not say about yourself, that are like braggy, but the other person says it. And that is such a hack. Because obviously there are things that like would be cringy to bring up about yourself, but it's kind of nice for the other people to know it.
You have a hype woman.
Yeah, like built in. Because there was a couple of times, like, well, they had said that they had been to India. That's how it kind of started. They had said they had been to India. And then Liz said, oh, Monica just went to India.
And then they said, where did you go? And I was like, well, it wasn't, it was for work. And so it wasn't very luxurious. We went to, and I was like listening to cities. And then you were just like, she went to India with Bill Gates.
And they were like, oh, whoa. And like, that is. obviously I wouldn't have said that. Oh, right. But I was kind of glad you did, because it did clarify some of what I was like when I felt.
Yeah. So, so, like little things like that. And then I think you had said something and I was like, oh, Liz, like, wrote a book. That part's nice. And they were doing that for each other as well.
Were they? Yes. LinkedIn guy was doing it for his friend. Okay, got it. I noticed it a couple of times.
Oh, that's sweet.
I was like, this is nice.
Yeah.
It's just friends, but things you are self-conscious about saying, you don't have to say.
Right. I think it's the best way to do it. That was the best date I've been on.
Do you want me to stop by your second date? Yes. I just popped my head in.
I'll be sad when you're not there. But I also know it's like, it would be weird if I was like, I'm bringing Monica again.
I mean, I think we could all hang out again, but if you're interested, you should do a couple dates solo at this point. Okay. What are you guys going to do, do you think? I don't know. Tennis?
I hope so.
He likes to do yoga. And then I thought like, we should go to yoga. And I was like, no, because like sweaty yoga, hot yoga.
Hot yoga is too hot.
And you're like spreading like, guys, I've done it. And as soon as I am in it, I'm like, why did I do this? Like, you can go to yoga with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Husband or wife, really? I think you kind of need to be at that level. Molly and Eric go to hot yoga. It's really cute.
And it's adorable. I think that's so sweet. But not when you're trying to court is not the best, but I don't know. I'll see. He lives on the West side.
So that's like. the big question is like, where do we go?
We did have to drive far away for our date. We did. And they did too. But still. I know.
Anyhow. Okay. Yeah. So those are sort of updated thoughts. So I dropped you off after we recorded and I got home and I was about to start my period.
I was starting it. I started it since then, but you know, it was coming. It was like the next day it was. So I did feel a little, maybe it was just because our adrenaline was so high.
It was.
That I did feel a little down. Oh. And I was trying to sit with why. And I really think it was probably just mainly chemical. Like, again, we were like on all this adrenaline, then it's over.
And it was over. And then I was kind of like, it's over. And there's nothing. a little bit. Not that there was nothing.
We had like a great night, but I don't know.
I would see why that would happen, because now I get to, I mean, I got to continue. And unless you take the step and do it and want to do it, it is like, oh, that happened. And then now it's over. It's like the morning after Christmas. Yeah.
But we can go on another double date. We can.
I would do it again.
Or you could hang out with that guy again.
I could.
It wasn't like sparks. Yeah.
Which sometimes is not.
But yeah, I don't know.
I hate that part of like. when people are like, you're not supposed to feel sparks. It's confusing.
Like. how many sparks? Can you feel like some? About like two and a half. Yes.
Because I felt some little sparks and I was like a little high off of that. And then I was like, is that bad?
Little sparks, I think is good. It's fine. But I do think it can, depending on our tendencies, I don't think it's great when it's like, oh my gosh, I'm dead. I'm head over heels after two hours of generic talking.
But it's like.
But some, but like a little, I get. Like. I get the sense of, yeah, like he's great. I definitely want to see him again. He seems really, really cool.
That's great. And oh, like this is exciting. But full like I, really like him, is, I think, where to dial back a tiny bit.
But then I will like sober up and believe that. And then I'll watch like the idea of you. And then I'm like, I can have this. This insane.
Did you watch the whole movie?
I surprisingly did. I could not stop. It was late, but I couldn't turn it off.
They shouted out all time, which I love.
It's huge. After I started to hear a story, I decided to watch it. Oh, yeah. What did you think? I'm so curious.
Well, you know, I'm such a rom-com girl. That's my bread and butter. I love them. It was like very Notting Hill vibes. So I enjoyed it.
I'm pretty much gonna generally enjoy a romantic comedy. I mean, I didn't feel so. you watched it and you were like, you were excited by it. Because I watched it and I was sad after. Oh, my God.
How are you sad?
I was sad. To me, it was sad.
It ends so well. Well, it ends with them being together.
I know, but that's very convenient writing.
Yeah, and apparently that's how the book, or like they made it better than the book.
So it's based off this person's real story. But I think the book is still an imagination. And then this is an extra level.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, I think this woman had an encounter at Coachella and then that was it. But then she created this book about it. Yeah, and then the movie. But for me, yeah. For me, the takeaway is like, sometimes you just can't have what you want.
But five years later and I mean, I'm not saying because I'm not watching that and then I'm not taking that as literal. I'm just like feeling the vibe of the whole thing. And my takeaway in general, after seeing something like that, is life is hard. Sometimes things just don't work out or you can't have what you want, or timing is bad.
Ageism, and if the genders were reversed, there would be no problem. Yeah, they would have no obstacle.
Yeah, less. Okay, if people don't know, the premise is a woman ends up taking her daughter to Coachella. She's 40 or 39 and she goes to the bathroom and she accidentally goes into someone's trailer and it's the guy from a boy band and he's 24.. So they have this kind of like little interaction and she then starts dating him basically. And it gets really complicated because he's a huge star.
And then this age factor, and it's interesting.
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What did you think? Did you like it?
At first, I didn't. I was like, this is so. every Backstreet Boys song that has led me astray. This whole idea that I will do anything for you. Everything I've ever done is about you.
You are my everything. That is such a...
Yeah, that's bad.
And it's often not going to happen.
No, that is not going to happen.
And I've dated a musician, and there were parts of it that I just was like, that would never.
. Or maybe not never, but in my case, it was the opposite experience of feeling the least important, where he sings a lyric about her. So I was a little bit rolling my eyes, or even the fact that he clearly has never stopped thinking. Five years later, he's singing this song about her.
Yeah, that's not reality. No. No, but it's a movie.
Exactly. But I love the fantasy, and I 100%, for most of my life, believed in the fantasy. And it still fills me with a lot of giddiness. That's why I couldn't stop watching. I was like, oh my God, this is my, not kryptonite, but my crack.
maybe. I love this kind of stuff. But I know it's not real. I legitimately used to think that that was possible six months ago.
I was going to say, you're right. If I was susceptible to that feeling, that would be probably a hard movie. But I guess that's sort of what I mean when I turn it off. I'm not thinking about the specifics of the movie. When you're saying it ended happy, yeah, sure, the movie ended happy.
But my takeaway about life and relationships is it's hard.
Okay, I see that.
So is your takeaway, I could have it? No. For me, it's like- I could have this 24..
It's like watching Ocean's 11, where I'm like, oh, my God, this is so exciting. Like, oh, if I was in this, this would be, but I know that that's not going to happen. To me, it's like that. Or watching reality TV show about a super rich family, and it's like fun to see. I mean, I don't even, it's kind of a weird thing.
Like wish fulfillment. Yeah, wish fulfillment, but not, oh, this is possible for me, or something I should try and achieve.
Well, that's the other thing is it was sexy. Like, he's so sexy, and she is too.
Yes.
And they had good chemistry. But I wasn't wanting what she had. In no world, sorry. Sorry, 24-year-olds, you're great. You're going to have a great life.
But I'm not interested at all in getting swept off my feet by a 24-year-old. I couldn't really click into that other than like, oh, this is like sexy and sweet, and oh God, it's hard, and ah.
I mean, I've been exploring with younger men. 24 is intense, but there are scenes where she's like hanging out with his friends, and like that, palpable, and I, you know, have definitely been there where you're, and again, I felt that that was well expressed of just, you can be super connected with someone, but then you're in their life and their environment, and suddenly you're like, right, this is, these are children. Yes.
Well, that's another reason. the double date thing is helpful. You immediately get to see them with people they're actually interacting with.
That's such a good point. And they probably got way more information about us from like who I'm, you know, that we're friends and how we are friends. Like I loved how they were friends.
Yeah, me too. You know, it was sweet.
There was like something pretty deep about their friendship, which I felt like was attractive.
Yeah. Okay, also, there's a part in the movie, during the movie she's wearing this blue bikini, and then she's at the pool with him and his friends, and so she like, gets out her blue bikini, and then she looks out the window, and she sees all these young girls in hot bathing suits, and so she puts the blue bikini away and puts on a one-piece, and I don't know, maybe this is why I was sad, because I'm like, I'm old as fuck, because I want that one-piece. So bad, and it's so much cuter than the two-piece blue thing.
I agree.
It was so cute. I was like Googling, trying to find this bathing suit. I found it. Obviously, I found it. How did you find it?
It's on screen for 35 seconds. I know, I took like so many pictures of it, and I was Googling, and I was like, Anne Hathaway, one-piece, the idea of you. Nothing was coming up, but then I texted Nicole, our stylist friend. I sent her the picture, and I was like, I want this. Do you know what brand it is?
And she texted me this morning with the brand.
Wow, that is some expert investigating.
They don't have that style print combo, though. They have the print in a different style, and the style in a different print, so I haven't taken action yet, because I want the one she has. It doesn't exist. They probably made it for her. But anywho, so I was like, fuck, and again, I don't know if this is age or probably not age.
This is just life.
I was like, she's hotter, so much hotter.
I don't want to compare hotness, but it was sort of weird that she was looking and feeling like less than, although ageism is a thing, and I get it. I think this happens a lot when you get older. You look at younger people, and you just immediately think they're hotter, but objectively, no, because she comes out in this big shawl or something, like jean shawl. Which was also kind of cute.
It was cute. Again, she was more stylish and cooler.
Oh my God, her outfit. in the whole movie, she's wearing the ruff. She was so much cooler, really, than those young girls, and so it was kind of hard to get on board with her feeling bad.
But you know, what's so funny about that is they subtly do that the entire movie, where, well, not to spoil her,
but at this point,
her ex-husband is older and just comes off as less attractive. He's an attractive actor if he's hot, but in the movie, they just dress him older, and then he cheats on her with this younger woman. Basically, I think they do it a little bit on purpose, where she is older, but hotter, more stylish. She is defeating that sort of stereotype of what you would expect of that hierarchy, and that's kind of part of it, but I agree with you that then in those moments, you're like, dude, you look cooler than them, which is, again, probably true in many cases. Yeah.
We just make those assumptions because of the way that we think as a society.
And to be fair, what's cute and cool to me is maybe not cute and cool to a young 24-year-old guy. Sure. Like the row and this really cute one-piece bathing suit. That was so flattering.
I agree. I didn't Google the bathing suit, but I agreed that she was. so... I know. She's stunning in the movie.
Every scene. Yeah, she's stunning.
She's also my style icon. She is? She's been my style icon for the last year and a half. Not full. Oh, recently.
Not full, because obviously Mary-Kate and Ashley are my style icons, but she is a style icon for me.
She's had like a renaissance.
She has. She got a new stylist a couple years ago, Erin Walsh, and she's been killing it ever since. Wow. Killing it.
I mean, she kills it in this movie.
The Met Gala's today.
It is, I know. I wanted to ask you about it. What do you do?
I don't have plans. I didn't plan it. I didn't plan a party.
Should we watch it together? How do we watch it? I don't... I think like on the internet.
I think it's just pictures. Oh, you don't watch it?
I tried to watch it and it didn't really work out, and so I just looked at pictures.
Wow, for someone who's so obsessed with the Met Gala, I would think you're.
I know, but I don't know how to watch it in a good way.
Well, there's live streams, but then you have to listen to all the covers. I don't know. I like hate, watch it a little bit.
Look, I think it's hard. Live shit is hard. I've never done it, so I can't sit on anyone who's doing it, because there's a lot of moving parts that are happening on a red carpet, and I think it can get discombobulated quick. So, you know, god, now I'm excited, but I have a lot to do. I mean, what time does it start?
I think on the early.
. I think it's at 5 Eastern or something like that. So for us...
5.
30 Eastern time. So it's 2.30?. The red carpet, yeah. Oh, god, okay.
Because the actual gala is not happening. Or it's not a thing.
Well, what do you mean?
There's no cameras inside.
Oh, right, exactly, yeah. I did put a story out asking people for first date questions before our date.
You did?
And people gave great questions.
Really good ones.
We didn't really ask any, unfortunately, because it got loud.
I think that's why.
Okay, it was a little too loud because I don't remember a lot.
Me too. Okay, I was going to say, like, was it because I was nervous?
I couldn't hear a lot.
I couldn't hear a lot, too.
I know.
Because I was like, have fun on your dad's trip. It's like, maybe that's not happening.
Like, maybe I.
. Yeah, a few people said, like, asked me questions about them, and I was like,
I know we talked about that,
but I don't know the answer, because it was loud.
It was loud. The acoustics were not ideal.
Okay, but I do want to read a few of the first date questions that people said. Well, Kristen sent one. She said, Crafter Velveeta, which I thought was funny. Okay, this is from Nobody's Listening, right? My favorite podcast.
I really do like this one. If you could go on a two-week vacation anywhere, unlimited budget, where are you going?
I love that.
What would you pick?
I would go to Tokyo. I've always wanted to go. It's so far and so expensive, but I think I would go to Tokyo. Or like a super, like,
full, luxurious resort beach kind of thing. Like, I think those would be the two. What about you?
I want to go to an Amman. Yeah. I've never been to one. I don't know which one, but yeah, somewhere like remote and cool. Or Paris.
Oh, fun. I love Paris.
I also love London, and I love New York.
Oh, like an all-expenses trip in New York could also be really fun.
So fun. Okay, let's see. Oh my god, I didn't even... I didn't see this. Eric, what is wrong with him?
Oh my god. He wrote various questions on the theme of poop eating. If you had to eat someone's poop on the show, Friends, whose shit would you eat? Also, definitely ask if they had to, would they... Oh, oh, this is like within the pod, this like horrific question that we have all discussed, and it's disgusting.
It's awful. I can hardly... I don't even know if I should even bring it up.
What is it?
It's if you had to, and not in a trauma way. We have to separate this out.
Okay.
Would you either suck your dad's.
. Oh my god.
Or eat your mom's? Oh. Yeah. This is a conversation that, unfortunately, we've had many times in the group.
Where do you fall?
It's horrific. I mean, it's all so bad, but like...
But.
. Mom.
100%. Yeah. Because it's not sexual.
Right. And mostly it breaks down this way, right? Where the genders kind of break down like that.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, like the guys end up picking their dads, because.
. Same thing. Even though nothing sexual about...
Oh, the guys have to go down on the mom.
Right.
Oh, okay, I see. Exactly. Okay, got it. I thought the guys wanted to... Okay, I was like, wow.
No, they do what we just did. Like reluctantly pick their same gender.
And then what's the poop eating?
Oh, just various. Just talking about eating poop.
Well, no, he's saying, what if I had asked that?
I mean, that would have just been like a hard pivot.
It's funny. It is funny. Okay, no, the poop eating is. if you had to eat someone's poop on the show, Friends, who's shit would you eat?
It's kind of a good question. That's a really good question.
Maybe Monica's, because it would be the most like clean.
But she's a chef.
She is a chef.
So she has to try a lot of food.
After she eats the mocklet. But then, like probably Jennifer Hantz.
Like, yeah, I know. It's so annoying that we're all just picking Rachel because she's so perfect. But I bet hers is like too vegetarian.
Yeah, it'll be like soft and.
Yeah, ew. I might pick Ross.
Wow, I like that.
Well, because you know, as I get older, he's the hottest one to me.
Interesting.
He's become hot.
He's always been hot.
No, Ross, as like a general, when you're young, no one liked Ross. So it was like a whole thing. And again, the irony that really he's the most put together. I mean, he's a dork, but dorks are cool.
Dorks are cool. He's older. Yeah, he has his own apartment. Yeah.
He has a good job. And he's tall and smart and hot.
I mean, they're all hot. That was the thing too, of like Chandler, being like not hot and like being a loser. You're like Chandler was so funny and adorable.
Yeah, exactly.
I would have totally dated, Chandler.
Yeah, I would have dated. I wouldn't have dated Joey. Me neither.
Yeah, me neither. I don't feel safe around, Joey. I would have been best friends with him.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's see if there's any. Oh, I liked this one. Last cry.
That's a really good one. We asked that one on Man Enough.
Oh, you do?
We do. And it's just a good, it's a, these questions, what I like about it is that they're not related to your job or like what you do, you know. Exactly. They're not boring. You're getting to know a person.
Yeah, okay. Oh, have you ever wondered if this is all just a simulation?
That's a good one.
That would have been a good one as well. Yeah, people, we got a lot of great first date questions.
Yeah, there was a popular post.
Well, people have, you know, people have insight to help us. They're here to help us. Yeah. And I appreciate that. Me too.
Okay, my friend Ashley texted and she said, what stresses you out or what ruffles you?
That gets into the territory that I'm into, which is what's your trauma, which I try not to do anymore.
I know.
But it is a good way to like.
Stresses you out can be less than our traumas.
It could be like when people take too long in line, or, you know,
or like when people are on the sidewalk, that's my current.
What? They're on the side.
Oh my God, during my runs right now.
You're going on runs?
Yeah, I'm back on my wogs. Wow. My wogs are a mix of walking and running. Like I run a couple laps and then I walk a long lap and I run a couple laps. I love it.
Anyway, there is a group of dogs and people who take up a big, huge chunk corner of the sidewalk and it is literally infuriating and they don't move. No. And I get rage in a very specific way about it. So that's what I would say. And it's not my trauma so much, but it is a pet peeve, ruffles, stress.
Do you feel as infuriated if you're just walking? Because I get that way. If they're coming in opposite directions, you're taking up the whole sidewalk and you don't move.
I get infuriated.
Infuriated.
Yes, I have. This is like years long beef with the world. I don't understand why people don't understand etiquette at all. Sidewalk etiquette. Just take up your space.
Like not noticing that someone else is here in this world with you. I can't.
That's how I feel about.
. I was hiking on Runyon. Did we say on? In?
On. That's interesting.
I was on the Runyon. At. At the Runyon.
At Runyon Canyon.
At Runyon. God, everything I say sounds weird. We were going downhill. We were not even on the path anymore. We were talking and I see this motorcycle going down.
On. At Runyon.
At Runyon. And I almost lost my mind.
Which is a mountain.
A hiking trail. And I've gone into... I've told you these stories. probably. We're on bike paths in New York.
when I came back from COVID. All of a sudden there were just like motorcycles on the Williamsburg Bridge, fully going like... And I got into a lot of scary... Because it's like a physically... I get so angry and then once, like this guy turned around, like I yelled at him, and then he, like, turned around and started...
He was like, you were going to get punched in the face if you do. And then we got into this whole thing and I was like, I'm gonna die. Like this is how I die. Oh. But it makes me very, very upset.
Any kind of bike related crimes or like not respecting the norms. The rules of the road and like just social norms of like... This is so much... Was this when I was listening to one of your episodes? I feel like I was listening to you guys talk about how, like so much of society is not actually based on laws.
It's all unofficial and we're all doing it. And yeah, it's relying on our own individual desire to work with each other and being community and cooperate. And so when people don't do it, it makes me so mad.
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Okay, so what would you do? I've asked a few people this. What would you do in my situation about the big dog man group?
If you're coming in the direction and they're seeing your face, I literally go like this.
I'm like, I gesture with your hand to move.
Yeah. I've done it a lot on the bike when people are in the, you know, and I'll just literally like do it. You could run with a little whistle in your mouth and just whistle at people.
God. That was like Aaron. Aaron said get like a blow, like one of those like, yeah, blow horn. Like, I shouldn't take this. Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just say, excuse me, but they're not moving.
They don't? No.
They like kind of look at me every now and they like take a little step out, barely, but not enough. And then I'm just trying to maneuver in and out. It's so annoying.
I'm going to say something controversial. Say it. I don't run as much now, but I've been a runner for most of my life. I think runners have to adapt to people who are walking the other way around. I know.
I'm sorry.
But not walking.
If you're walking, no. If you're both walking, you're on equal footing.
No, no, no, no, no. They're not walking.
They're running.
They're standing. They're just standing there for an hour. They've decided that that's their hangout spot is the sidewalk. They're not walking together in a group. They're planted there for the hour.
Literally, I bet, they say like from six to seven, let's hang out on the corner. That's what it is.
No, you're in the way. Okay, no. Illegal.
Yeah. And I agree about, well, I'm half agree with you about the walking and the running. I still think, like, why are you walking in the middle? Walk on the side so other people can go. I don't understand the idea that you can take up the entire sidewalk.
When people are walking on the sidewalk, they shouldn't walk in the middle of the sidewalk?
I don't think so. I think you should walk on the right or left side, whatever side you're on. You shouldn't just be like strolling about with no awareness. Just like we do cars. You walk on the right side of the sidewalk.
But are there lanes on the sidewalk? I didn't know that there were lanes.
Well, again, like you just said, there's lanes unofficially. And when people are walking opposite directions, you should create lanes.
Yes. If they see you coming, but if they're behind you, how are they?
That's why, in general, I think you just take a lane. Exactly. Because you don't know who's behind you. Right. It's just a way to be conscientious in the world.
Yeah. So don't walk in the middle of the sidewalk. Do you not walk in the middle of the sidewalk?
I stay to a side normally.
Oh, my God. I didn't know. this was a thing. I'm probably ruining everyone's life.
You're probably doing what I hate.
But I walk really fast, so no one's ever passing me.
But anyway, stick to a side if you can. There are always scenarios, of course. You don't have to beat yourself up, but it's a good way to be. And don't just have a party in the middle of the sidewalk. And if you are going to, go ahead.
But you have to move when people are coming. You don't own the sidewalk. No. It's just, I can't. Okay.
All right. Let's do some questions. Ooh, okay. This is timely. Okay, great.
Feeling the pressure of tweakment at 30.
. This is from Ree. I hope I pronounced that right. Hi, Liz and Monica. Love synced in your wonderful and honest conversations.
Thank you for the work you do. I'm turning 30 this summer. I'm mostly excited to enter this new chapter in my life. However, I've started to notice some early signs of aging on my face. I love wrinkles and I think they're beautiful, but I've started to notice that I'm developing a double chin and I'm really struggling with it.
I've known I'm probably predisposed genetically to a double chin, since my mom's side has it and it gets worse as they age, despite weight being quite consistent. I started going down a massive rabbit hole, of plastic surgery procedures to tweakments with Botox and fillers. It's all made me quite anxious. I really don't love the idea of going under the knife and I'm scared of ending up pursuing a face style that so many women seem to have on social media. I love my face, but I also feel like I don't look like myself with my double chin.
This has made me realize the pressures and standards women face as they age. I think part of it is also knowing how my mom has aged and knowing I want to do something to combat losing my jawline in such a noticeable way. Did you guys ever deal with this pressure as you hit 30? Do you deal with it now? Do you have any tips on how to deal with the pressure?
Be proactive about problem areas. There's a side of me that wants to age naturally, but I also know that I want to keep the integrity of my face and my looks. I know a lot of people get treatment or work done to age more gracefully and naturally, and it shouldn't feel like a huge stigma. Still, I also feel like it's a thin line to tread to aging gracefully and looking like a completely different version of yourself. Also, when someone ages beautifully and has work done, it's impossible to know, because women feel so much shame in telling people.
I wish it could all be more transparent. P.S. Monica, your skin looks absolutely stunning in your recent New York trip pics. I hope you drop a Vogue skincare routine one day. I also hope I drop a Vogue skincare routine and I appreciate that comment.
I'm in a not a great skincare place, so I feel very happy about that comment. And I will say that I'm using Kevyn Aucoin makeup currently, and it's nice.
Love it. Yeah, so that's the answer to that. Your skin does look glowing.
Thank you. Well, and I'm on a new regimen, TBD on, if I like it.
Of skincare regimen.
Yeah, it's new and I'm trying it. Anywho, okay, I feel like I wrote this question. This is 100% me. You know, I almost got Kybella. If anyone's listening to Armchair Expert also, everyone knows I almost got Kybella.
I didn't get it, but now I might get chin filler. And I feel all of this. I don't want to really, but I do want to. And I agree, I want to just like keep my face my face.
It's complicated. What do you think?
I think you can do whatever you want.
Of course, you can do whatever you want. Yeah. But it's like maintaining the balance of you, because I'm with her. I know what she means. There's a style of face that a lot of women get and great.
There's no judgment on those people. I think, awesome. Everyone do what you want to do. But I don't want that.
Yeah.
And I do think it's a slippery slope.
Like anything. The best advice I got, so when I was turning 30, I was 31 or 32 and my makeup artist was like, yeah, I brought up for me was like my frown line. Is that what that's called? Like this?
In your unibrow, but without a, like there's a crease.
Yeah, there was just like a significant crease. And because again, I was just seeing myself on camera a lot. I was like, oh, I like, I'm seeing that a lot and I don't like it. And she was like, yeah, you can get Botox. She was like, get Botox, don't get filler, which was her advice, which I like to just transmit.
It's a subjective perspective, but I do think Botox is not a big deal. And again, I'm not like an expert in any way, but fillers are just more, more can go wrong. I'm sure there are. And there are many risks, all of these things, but a bad Botox story, like you don't really hear. a bad filler story.
There are many. I mean, and there are many good ones.
Oh, sure, sure. No, but I mean, bad Botox, you can have too much. Then you just can't move your face at all. And that looks weird.
It looks weird. And the first time I got it, I like was like, I want the least amount and you communicate that and you go to someone that you feel also reflects that and understands that. And usually they are like, they know what they're doing. And especially for me, she was like, I want you to still be able to like express, you know, you're expressing yourself on camera and stuff like that. And so I went to someone who, literally, like, I knew, was doing kind of the genre that I was looking for.
Yes, like, do your research on the people.
Yes, and start small, and you can stop doing it with Botox.
But you can also dissolve filler. That's why I'm scared of Kybella, because you can't dissolve it. It's just like, it is what it is. And if it goes wrong, it goes wrong. But with the filler at this point, you can dissolve.
So that's something to also keep in mind. If you try something and you're like, oh, fuck, you can dissolve it.
Yeah.
And I think that can be a little painful, but it's like worth it. Sure. Obviously.
I think you're going into it with all of the right thoughts. And I think the judgment part. to me, though, it is like, we, yeah, who cares that? we had that conversation about everything. We had that conversation.
Remember when it was like, can you be a feminist if you wear lipstick, if you wear makeup, right? And so modern technologies, when it comes to what you can do, have progressed. And so I think we still need to be careful about shaming women who care about their appearance in a society that literally values our appearance and rewards us or punishes us if we don't. And again, it's not to say that you have to do it and that you should keep up with those standards. But I think it's so weird to then punish women for participating in it.
And I think the best way to do it is in the way that's balanced, where you're like, am I doing this for myself?
Why am I doing this?
How far am I willing to go? I'm not going to put myself into debt to do this. And I think about this part too, where we were talking about it the other day and I was like, there's this other thing. I was like, oh, I could do this. And you were like, this part of your body is so great.
Like you don't have to. And that's when I realized, oh, this is where maybe it's a slippery slope and I need to stop, because I don't really need to do anything to that part. And that's just enhancing, enhancing, enhancing. And that's how you end up not just going too far, I think, financially and in other ways, but also it looks worse.
Or it just doesn't look like you anymore at all.
And I think last thing is, 30s is a good time to do it. I think what's a little worrying is younger teenagers.
They don't even have their face yet.
Exactly. There's a whole trend of like Gen Z look older than millennials. And part of the hypothesis is that they're getting work done. And yeah, work done still looks like work done.
It has a look.
It does. Yeah. And so if you're doing it too young, so that's where I would not draw a line, but I think that's where it gets, okay, this is not necessary. And even kind of an intrusive thing. And if you start that early, then that's where you get to a point where you're doing so much.
by the time that you're, you know, balance.
Balance. I think that's right. And I definitely understand looking in the mirror or seeing a picture or video, whatever, and just really not liking what you see. And, more than that, knowing, like what she said here, that doesn't look like me anymore. Like this is changing on me and I want it to just go back to what it was, not change something completely about myself.
So yeah, I think maybe I would start with Botox. if you're already looking into Botox. That does seem to be like a good way to start. And 95% of my friends have Botox. It's not a big deal.
Start small if you want to. If you want to. And your face will change. That's the thing. Like, I don't remember which celebrity was talking about this, but she was like, your face does also change with age.
That's also normal, you know? Yeah, it is. And beautiful. Like. it'll evolve and look like.
I look different than I did in my 20s. I'll look at photos and I'm like, wow, like there are definitely things that are different about my face. But, you know, we have to embrace that. And that's fun. That's the fun part too.
Yeah.
Okay. Do you pee in pools?
This is from Beatrice. I need to know, do you guys pee in pools? Please discuss all types of pools. Backyard, public, gym, pool, party, pools, et cetera. Please help me settle this debate with my friends.
Love you both. This is great.
So good.
I've done it, but I don't make a habit of it. It's like some people, every time they're in a pool, they pee. Is that you? I used to. Yeah.
And then I became a lifeguard. And then I learned more about, you know, what'd you learn? So I lived in, you know, I was synchronized swimming. I was always in the water. So I would do it.
And again, I think when you're young, I don't know, you just do it. But yeah, becoming a lifeguard, I just learned more about the chemical importance of like water cleaning and like just how important it is for the water to be clean and how things can be really transmitted in water. Like even when it's not pee, when it's just like sunscreen. or a lot of people have been sweating, like you see the water. We often had to close the pool in afternoons because the water would get so clouded with sweat and pee that you couldn't see the bottom.
Because there's a test.
There's no chlorine in yours?
Fully chlorined. But the chlorine can't kill everything. Like. that's the thing. And the more chlorine is killing things, the more cloudy it gets.
So that means the more things there are like.
. And so there's a test. There's a 12 foot section of the pool where people can dive and stuff like that. And the test to know if you keep it open or not is that there's a big black drain at the bottom. And if you don't see the drain, you have to close that part.
And very often we had to close it because people would.
. So that's when I was like a little bit more...
Aware.
But I'll pee in the ocean every time.
Okay.
Almost. Because I don't know where I'm going to find a bathroom again. And like...
Right. So I actually, I came to peeing in the pool later in life. I never peed in the pool. That was like not a thing I would have ever done. And then I guess I felt uptight.
I'm like, everyone pees in the pool. So I tried it. So I've done it. Did you like it? I liked not having to go get out of the pool.
Yeah. But I didn't enjoy like the sensation necessarily. But I did like the convenience.
But I'm never doing it again after I heard that. That's disgusting. Ew.
It made me just realize like, and I don't want people to.
. Well, maybe I shouldn't say it. But when there's a lot of kids in a pool, I just...
And it was like, don't get in the pool.
A public pool, like don't.
. Like I don't... Fuck. Or like I don't put my head in.
Well, I never put my head in.
You don't?
No, because I don't like swimming.
Right. Well, then you're fine. Because like, whatever. Or it's not a big or...
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