Weird Around The Eyes

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Hi Greg, you're on. Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

Hi guys, how's it going?

Hey Greg, how are you?

I'm very well Conan. How are you?

I'm doing very well. I'm guessing you're living from the accent. I'm guessing you're coming to us from Ireland. Where are you in Ireland?

Yeah, well, spotted. I'm from Dublin originally, but I live in Kildare now, which is just west of Dublin, just like the first county outside.

Do you call it Dublin or Dublin?

I call it Dublin, yeah, although the old Irish name it's like dubling, which means like Black Lake or black pool, but yeah, Dublin for me.

Okay, I'll call it Dublin as well, I never know. I always want to learn the correct pronunciation of things, and so sometimes I've been talking to an old Irish sod and he'll call it Dublin.

I don't know he might be messing with you, I don't know. It's not one I've heard before.

Yeah, it turns out he was from Portugal, so maybe that has something to do with it. Well, tell us, Greg, here's what I know about you. You live in Kildare. Is that right?

So I'm a musician, I'm a classical musician, so I play in an orchestra, in the Symphony Orchestra here.

Which symphony orchestra do you play in?

The National Symphony Orchestra.

Wow, that is impressive, very good. And can I ask you, what's your instrument? That's a personal question.

I'm a bassoonist.

Oh, you're a bassoonist.

Bassoon, yeah, or Bassoon player? Incredible. you mentioned Bassoonist quite frequently in your last few podcasts over the world. Did I I think the one with Zach Braff, he mentioned it.

It, they know what it is. It's funny because I just tune out the minute a bassoon is mentioned, I just go to a different place. Well, no.

The bassoon world goes crazy any time we hear it.

Well, this is a big moment then for the bassoon world. This is a big moment for the Bassoon world because this is now-.

Bassoon Twitter is lighting up right now.

Yeah, Bassoon, Twitter has exploded. I mean, forget about it.

Over 200 of us, probably around the world.

And all the Bassoon dating sites are just blowing up right now.

Yeah, I didn't really choose it. I think if you ask every bassoonist, they'll have a different story. I don't think anyone comes out when they're a child and is like, I want to play the bassoon, I need to play the bassoon. It's all I can do.

I love that. He didn't know any names.

So there's seven of us all together.

Okay, I'm one of six and often no names were used, it was just that one. Oh, yeah, you.

Exactly, my dad would frequently get the names wrong as well. Yes, if he wanted to call me Greg, he'd go David, Richie, Conor, Greg.

Yes, that's what we would get.

You need to go into the day.

Neil, Luke, Kate, Gene, Dustin Conan. You're an asshole.

Oh well, thank you.

Yeah, is it a difficult instrument? Do you think it's an instrument that I could learn to play?

It's not as difficult as the problem as maybe people I don't know. Maybe people don't think about bassoon too much, but it looks like a difficult instrument.

I've got some bad news for you. Yeah, I got real bad news for you. We've done a poll, we didn't even know about you, but about a week ago we did a poll on.

I think you definitely could. I think you definitely could, yeah.

What are the attributes?

Well, you play guitar?

Yeah, what are the attributes I have that could help me play the bassoon well?

You need to be a bit quirky, got it? That's me weird around the eyes sort of thing. People look at you funny.

Check weird around the eyes. check, check, got it.

Yeah.

I also have good lung power, I talk constantly. Oh, yeah.

That comes later.

I go days without inhaling.

You do circular breathing, but for bits instead of musical instruments.

Yes, for bits and shtick, yeah.

And you also have good lips as well.

What's good about my lips?

Well, they're kind of thin, and I think you'd be able to form a good embouchure. Around the reed, we use what's called a reed, like oboists. if you clarinet or saxophone, we use a single reed, we use a double reed. Great.

Greg, did you just call me thin-lipped?

Weird around the eyes Weird around the eyes.

That was very poetic. This sounded so good in my head as well before I was saying it.

Can I just say, Greg, if you saw, if you didn't know me? But you saw me rob a bank in Kildare? And the police came, the guard showed up and they said, Did you see you go? Yes, I saw him. Would you say? He was weird around the eyes and thin-lipped? Is that what the description you would give to the police?

I'd say he looks like he plays the bassoon.

Oh.

But it's just good because you need a good seal around the reed. So if you have those good lips, so the air doesn't leak, I think it would be a really good fit.

Yeah, non-lips, that's good. Well, that's good to know. I think I would take a crack at it. Tell me what role does the bassoon play in most symphonic orchestrations?

So we're like, we're usually we're, stereotypically, I'd say, the jokester of the orchestra. We play lots of kind of bum kind of notes, like low notes, with a harsh kind of razzy sound.

Can you give me an example vocally? can you give me an example? or do you have a bassoon with you?

I do have my bassoon with me, actually, yeah.

I would think you would, Yeah, can you give us an example?

On my bassoon, Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, sure, this is what we have. This is what your lips would do well with.

My lips are so thin I don't even need that I wouldn't use a reed. My thin lips form a natural reed.

Okay, so we, yeah, as I was saying, we have. We play a lot of low notes, basically.

Can you okay?

Yay.

And, first of all, back up a little bit so we can see this amazing instrument as well. You said you play kind of quirky, jokey things. Give me an example of what that would sound like.

Yeah.

Oh, wow, yay, I, that's I could use that.

Yeah, it's very looney tunes.

Yeah, it really does sound like, well, I don't know, I don't know.

In fact, you just found out the split. Let's hear your bassoon's reaction to the Uh. Conan gets 98, you get 2%.

Yeah, here's what, here's the deal I get, uh, of the money, we....

The weird around the eyes You're weird around the eyes, it doesn't matter, it's pretty poetic.

Okay, weird around the eyes. uh, but I love the idea.

I think you might surprise yourself, I think you, I think you could fit in.

I love the idea of me narrating things and you doing the reactions, that really makes me happy. Yeah, and then I think that could, and guess what?

Yeah, I think the three of us should go to Ireland.

Four, or, or or. Greg comes to Los Angeles at his own expense. Wah wah wah. Yeah, make him pay, yeah.

He thought his bassoon smashed. That's something I am always worried about, though, those overhead lockers in the bassoon.

Well, I've known, I've known, uh, just when I've tried to take my guitar on airplanes. And they try and pry it out of my hands and and and throw it at the in the bottom of the of the airplane.

That's because you're playing it live in the airplane.

Yeah, I usually get on the plane playing it well. I'm not sure this craft is safe.

I am worried you're living in a prison dorm, though.

Yeah, your mattress is all rolled up in the background, you have nothing on the wall. Oh, I know, yeah.

No, my, my, my partner hates that. I've kind of ducted this room for a bassoon room, so there is a bed, but it's not used. Um, so I put a desk in here.

Are you saying your partner can't sleep while you play bassoon scales?

Well, he, he plays clarinet, so he, he's, he's in, he's in the world of oh oh fun.

Oh, that's so okay. So he plays clarinet, you play bassoon. Do you often have arguments about which is the superior instrument?

Or arguments using your instrument.

Yeah.

Now it hasn't quite got. Our communication hasn't broken down to that extent yet. We can still converse like regular people. But we do play together. We do, uh, we do do some concerts here and there. But he has a jaw, a jaw injury at the moment, so he hasn't been able to play as much.

Oh wow, you got to protect the jaw if you, uh, make your living with an instrument, you know?

Yeah, exactly.

You should we should wear a full, uh, motorcycle helmet at all times.

The problem would be the reed, the reed's breaking when I keep, when I keep trying to bring it to my mouth.

Yeah, you forget it's on and then you got to like, lift, lift the visor, all right.

Go ahead and say, Can you make me normal? around the eyes? yeah.

The doctor will say, you make me as much I can't.

I need to.

Yeah, there's much I can do, but that I cannot do. I'm sorry, I interrupted you, Greg, What were you going to say?

No, if you're at the cosmetic surgery, just say you you need an an A job that makes you un-bassoon. Like, I don't know exactly what to, I don't know exactly what you mean.

Everyone knows, yes, now I know what to do. Well, Greg, really nice meeting you and talking to you. And, um, yeah, I hope our paths cross one day. But this was a real treat.

Hopefully, hopefully, if you ever need a bassoonist in studio, I got it here, put it in the overhead locker, I'll be over.

You know what, now I'm thinking of all bassoon ideas, so you are, you are, you are now officially, the Conan O'Brien needs a friend bassoon player. We will accept no substitutes. Well, thank you, Greg.

Thanks guys, bye guys.

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