Sacrifice Isn’t Easy but It’s Always Worth It

Louis, Missouri.

You've truly changed my life over the last few years, and I just want to take a second to say thank you. Sure. What's up? Awesome. My question is, how should I feel about a prenup?

I know your stance on prenups, and I know extreme circumstances, and I believe my circumstance is extreme on both ends. So a little bit about my background. I am currently 28.. I followed the baby steps through and through, currently, on 3B. I make about $300,000 a year, and that's divided up into about $100K in retirement, $100K for a down payment, and $25,000 to $35,000 in just a bank account checking account for an emergency fund.

So I'm getting married in June to my wonderful fiancée, and her family is extremely wealthy.

Her parents and grandparents are extremely wealthy. Apparently, I'm supposed to be signing a prenup, obviously, before the marriage, and we're going to go over that. And my question to you is, how should I feel about that, as well as what to look for in a prenup? I don't necessarily know what questions to ask my lawyer. And just one last thing is, my income could be going from $400K to $500K-plus over the next two to three years annually.

So yeah, that would be my question. Yeah. Wow. How old is your fiancée?

After you were engaged? It was after we were engaged, yes. But I kind of had an idea, like, I mean, they are, I don't know the specifics on their net worth, but they are.

Okay. So, when my children were married, my net worth was in excess of $100M already at that point. And none of them signed a prenup.

And we didn't ask them to. None of my son, none of my in-laws signed a prenup. And we didn't ask them to. Now I have my estate plan set up to where certain things are controlled only by Ramsey, Blood and trusts. So, you can't get to them in the event of a divorce.

Thing number one. Thing number two, I'm just not that guy. So, I'm not worried about it. This is God's money. I'm managing it.

I figure He can take care of it. I understand their concern.

If you were, you know, if you're making $30,000 a year or something, it would be more of a concern, but it's, you know, frankly,

it's a little bothersome if I'm in your shoes.

Not enough to cancel the whole thing, but it's troubling that these people,

obviously, they want to protect what they built and make sure it goes to their kids. Let me ask you, here's another thing I would want to find out, and I don't know. In most states,

the divorce stuff we've been involved in, on the financial side, an amount of inheritance, generally, in the event of a divorce, goes to the person that inherited the money. They don't split it in most states. So, if you inherit your mama's house and you get a divorce, you get your mama's house. You don't split it with your ex in most states, okay? Now, I don't know Missouri law, and I'm not a lawyer, but I've experienced that in, you know, being called in in the middle of divorce situations where we're helping negotiate and all that.

I've experienced that to be the facts that the judge or the statutes award that that way. So, I would learn about that in Missouri, number one. They may have that protection built into the law is what I'm saying, and then you've just got to decide how much you care about this issue,

because I don't think, and what this issue means, what does it mean to your relationship, what does it mean to the family you are marrying, because you're marrying her and her family, and so,

you know, it's really low class that this came up after you made a contract to get married. They bring up, oh, but by the way, after you've done a contract to get married, called getting engaged, we're going to add something to the terms of the contract after you've already signed.

What's going on?

. You're not answering my question, and you're being really nice because you're a classy dude. I'm going somewhere with this. How does she feel about it? When it came?

It doesn't feel good. Like, do I need to do anything on my end?

. Exactly. Yeah. The one other thing is, apparently, so the family are in development, so they're big into real estate, and they build houses and have a lot of land. Another thing is, apparently, they're going to be building up a house and putting it in a trust to where we don't have a payment.

Apparently? And...

There's no, apparently. Yeah. I'm involved in the decision. I think this ought to be premarital counseling. Yeah.

I bring it up with your fiance. I'm shooting up flares. now. I think the two of you need to sit down with a premarital counseling, and you're getting married in June. Ugh.

This is.

. This. family has problems with leaving and cleaving. Yeah. That's right.

This is The Ramsey Show.

I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah. And what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly, and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills in the middle...

How am I going to eat next week? Yeah. In the middle of all that grief, it's just... It is. It's terrible.

And so life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids, that I'm so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here.

You've got to say it out loud, and you've got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. It costs no stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282.. That's 800-356-4282 or go to zander.com.

Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225.. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality is my co-host. Ken, I know this about me. I really like to be in control.

I think that's a fair assessment. Yeah. I know this about me. And I know this about wealth. Yeah.

That as you add wealth, it makes you more of what you already are. And so having some money has given me the ability to control a lot of things in my life. The variables. I don't have cars that break down anymore because they're nice ones. I used to drive crap when I was broke, and I was broke down on the side of the crappy road in the crappy car and my crappy life.

And I hated it. I hated it because I felt out of control and desperate and freaked out. And so now I drive cars that don't break because I got some money by doing the stuff we teach here. And I also know that that control. in that sense, controlling the variables, control, the controllables, that's a good feature.

But I'm also well aware that it can be a bad feature. Yep. You've probably seen that. I cannot recall. Oh, I cannot recall.

You.

Do nothing. Yeah. No, I know. It also, yes. But in a situation like that, where we've seen it, you snap back because you are.

So you're going to do what I say to do. I'm in charge. The inmates are not in charge of the asylum. When they're like grown and paying their own bills and stuff, you don't get to do that anymore. I heard it's a rumor.

So, like when they leave and get married and stuff, it's a problem for control people, right? And control people with money like me. Sure. It's a real problem. So I've had to be, I've had to read, like Henry clouds book boundaries.

It's like every weekend I have to read the whole book again, because otherwise I invade my grown children's boundaries, because I have the money to control and tell people what to do. And I'm used to people doing what I tell them to do. And my grown kids don't always do what I tell them to do. Yeah. It's just shocking.

It's just shocking. It's called, uh, you know, reasonable relationships. And sometimes, when people get money, maybe the last caller situation, sometimes when people get money, it makes them more of what they already are. And they learn to control the variables. That's how they get money, which is good.

It's right. It's a good part of control, but then you try to control your kids' lives and we're going to give you a house, but we're really not going to give you a house. We're going to put it in a trust so we can take it back. If we change our mind and we're going to give you some money, but we're really not going to count the fact that you got married, because you don't really get to count that you just are you. And, um, you know, we're going to, you can, real, simply, in any state, leave the money into a trust.

And the only people have access to the trust are blood relatives. And so the spouse or soon to be ex-spouse, if there's a problem, you have a built in. Yeah. That's wise. You have a built in, uh, thing there, like the stock for the Ramsey solutions company.

Right. It's held in a, the Ramsey family, children's trust. Right. And the definition of that trust, one of the, one of the absolute pieces, is that if they get divorced, they're not going to get the company. Okay.

Which is, you know, they shouldn't. That's right. Okay. They shouldn't get it, but there's that does away with the need for a prenup. Uh, and so I guess I'm still controlling, but I'm not over there in their daily business, telling them how to pay their bills.

I'll tell you why, because what you did was you, you put it in a trust, and this is the Ramsey family business. It's a family business and it takes it off the table. What you did not do was force a signed agreement. See, this is a boundary issue. And so it didn't do it after the engagement.

They should have being super wealthy the way they are and having controlled the environment and they've set her up and all those assets. They should have already let her just grow up. And the thing is, is she's got to learn how to figure life out on her own. And the fiance very kindly said, she's pretty much just had everything dictated to her, like a menu. Like this is what your life is going to look like.

And that's not reality. So I think the concern on that last call, Dave, is less about the money. I think it's more about their role in her life, which is what I'm talking about. I know you are, but I just think it's that simple that they, the money thing, is the smallest piece of it. They're very, very out of control.

That's right. Because it could teeter to unhealthy. But the truth is, it's so easy to be who you is in spades. when you got a few dollars, you know, you get to be who you is, nobody bother you on that. And if who you is is telling everybody what to do, including your grown kids, then wow.

And so now I told Winston when he married Rachel, she's your problem, man. That's it. This one's got drama, man. You just better be ready. And so she's your deal, man.

And don't come crying to me. Don't come crying to me. And Rachel, don't you come crying to me either. You talk to him. He's your, his problem.

You're his problem. And let me tell you that I've.

They're healthy. And they're figured out. If I was this young man, I would bring it up as a, we can't go forward. And then I'd bring it to a therapist and I'd say, babe, I can't do this. That's how strong of a position I would take.

Cause she needs to decide what she's.

I've worked so hard to get this. And now I don't want this wealth to destroy my children, to make them useless human beings. Okay. And so my answer is don't raise useless human beings, raise human beings who know how to work, who know how to sacrifice, who know how to serve, who are humble, not, not self-centered. They're not, not entitled.

They're not brats. Uh, they, and, by the way, they know how to work. Did I mention that? And they know how to work. Did I mention that?

And, um, by the way, a simple way to get all of that joy and dignity comes from work. So raise kids that do that and then be ready for this very difficult. And I'm saying it was hard. It's hard for me almost daily or weekly. It's not, I don't get a vote in their house and it pisses me off down inside.

I really want a vote. I really want to tell these people.

But

I'll spare you all the data. I could nerd out on it for 20 straight minutes, but I'm telling you over and over, the message is coming back. We have removed the obstacle of hardship and suffering. We, meaning Gen X, my parents, the boomers, Gen X, we're all guilty of it. And I'm telling you...

What's better is to make them tougher. And what you do with your kids, and I can speak to all three of them because I know... They need a callus. You allowed them to experience hardship. They had to work for it.

They went through stuff. And so all of a sudden, see, here's the deal. Massive money creates massive ease. And massive ease, absent of hardship, makes soft, entitled people. And that's where the money can really be dangerous.

in this situation. I feel soft and entitled right now. No, you're not. You're the antithesis of it. I'm completely soft and entitled.

You're like a human callus, Dave.

You're tough. You're tough, man. You're tough. You've been worn by failure. It's good.

That's a compliment. We'll be back with a human callus. Folks, I'll have to explain that to him on the break. Pray for me. On the Ramsey show.

I might be back. We'll see.

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Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host, number one best-selling author of the book Paycheck to Purpose, meaning you can have purpose while getting your paycheck. There's an idea. Maria is with us in Detroit, Michigan. Hi, Maria. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

So, so, um, I'm sorry. I'm so nervous. Um, so what happened is our, we have worked so hard to have basically everything we have paid off. And we had this condo. that was still, um, we still had a loan and the loan was kind of low interest loan.

So we thought we're going to keep it for a little longer in case we need an, you know, an equity loan or something. So we decided to rent it. And now we're facing where, well, before everything, we were told always to open an LLC, and we never did. Everything is under our names, personal names, everything. So we, we rented this, this place, and now we're facing a very possible lawsuit from a lawyer that just does this for a living, uh, for evicting them for non-payment.

Have you, have you evicted them?

So here's what you do. Here's what you do. You start interviewing attorneys and I want you to find an attorney who has one eye in the center of his forehead, who slobbers and has sharp teeth and is so angry and mean that you don't even like him. And I want you to hire him and turn him loose on this jackleg who's thinking he's going to jack you up for some money. And I want you to go after him and pound him to dust.

Okay. You don't sound like you're going to do that. Okay. Okay. Okay.

So, um, we have Maria, you sound like a victim. Why don't you sound like a Victor? throw your shoulders back and let's get in a fight. girl. They're trying to take your stuff.

Yeah. And they're jack legs. Okay. Freaking attorney is he's trying to get some easy money. And once he understands it's not easy, he'll go away.

I've taught a couple of my lesson in my life. I like it. I just take them all the way to dust.

Is there any way we can protect what we have? Um, I mean, not now. it should have been in an LLC. Like you were told, and you didn't do it. You can't buy fire insurance after the fire, honey.

You got to buy it before the fire.

So the way you protect it now is you hire an angry, mean, nasty attorney and you put him, turn him loose off his chain and let him go bite.

I'm dead. serious, kiddo. You think it was like a joke. This is how you do it. The way you handle a bully is you hit them in the nose hard.

No. Um, so we, we waited for payment. We try to communicate. No, no. I.

Then why are you stressed out? Because they file some paperwork to, I know they're doing something because this lawyer.

So you need to get an attorney that represents you, that knows what's going on, and you need to a thousand dollars for peace of mind. And you need to tell them to put a, put this people in a stranglehold till they tap out.

Crazy and bullies can't be dealt with. The only way you can deal with crazy and bullies is smack them. And not physically, darling, don't go hit somebody, but I am saying, get an attorney and put these people down, put them down and shut them up. And then go, if you need to go, take the attorney's fees that it costs you from them to teach them a lesson. I'm in the middle of doing that right now, myself,

just to say, you shouldn't do this to me. It's not going to work. You picked the wrong hillbilly, right? You got to let you got, I mean, I'm not trying to pick a fight. You didn't pick the fight.

They did, but you got to finish it once it's picked. Cause you're sitting around wringing your hands, worried you're going to lose everything to some jack leg attorney. that doesn't even have a thing. Cause you don't even understand what's going on. Go get a lawyer.

And if a lawyer tells you or multiple lawyers tell you.

And that's what he's saying, Maria, if you can't do it yourself, then force some lawyer to go, all right, I'll take your money. if you're that scared. Cause, that's where you're at. Yeah. They got nothing to worry about.

And if you send off weak signals, then they're thinking, then they're really started thinking that. So you got to go, uh, wrong choice. You're going down.

O. Box in care of Dave's Bahama fund. No, I'm kidding.

All right. So is there, are you debt free?

Uh, pay off the student loan. What else?

. He makes $85,000..

Three is have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. Any money beyond that, we put them on four, five, and six. I want you to be putting 15% of your income away for retirement. Five is kids college. If that applies, they may be grown and gone.

And six is pay off the house. I think you're going to pay this money down on the house after you pay off the student loan. If you have that emergency fund set aside and you follow those baby steps, that's what I would do.

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Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Ken, I'm going to be doing something I've never done before, a brand new event. Dave Ramsey's Investing Essentials. I'm going to dive deep into investing. First time ever.

I'm going to go into my personal investing playbook, what I do, how I buy real estate, how I do all my other investments. And so this is not theory that someone taught you that you ought to do. It's actually what I do. Then you can decide if you want to do it or not. But this is what I do.

It's a two-night virtual event. We're going to cover one set of subject one night, another subject the next night. So it's not the same stuff over and over. It's two different nights. You need to be there.

total of four hours, two hours each night, May 21 and 22.

. It's online. You can watch it from the comfort of your home. Investing is something you can, you guys asked me to dive deeper into all the time. And there's all this garbage on these social media platforms.

These people who just have an idea and opinion, they're just trying to get your money and all that kind of stuff. We don't actually do investing. So we're just going to teach you, because we're not trying to sell you anything. Now, we are going to sell you a ticket to this, but we're not trying to sell you any investments. There's no free steak dinner and I'm going to put you in a bad life insurance policy.

crap. All that thing. Y'all got those, right? Everybody gets those, right? Now, how to maximize the 401k?

Of course, that's kind of a baseline. And then real estate strategies and what other investing trends are out there, which ones are bogus, and so on. Tickets are $199.. Ramseysolutions.com events. to get your tickets today.

Today's question of the day comes from Angela in.

It's been a very toxic environment in that unit for decades. My question is, it may only be a three to 5% raise. And I don't think I want twice the amount of work for only $55 more a month, but I like the work in that unit and have about seven years till I retire. Do I take the job or stay put? Oh, no.

If what I'm hearing and reading is absolutely true, this is a no brainer. Why would you want?

Pass. Hard, pass. Golly, Angela. It bothers me that.

They already sent word to her. Oh yeah. I mean, this is, these aren't just, these are not passive gossips. These are active gossips. They sent word.

They sent a little messenger person over. One of those little messenger people. that's kind of trying to be Switzerland. They're trying to be in the middle, but they're really not because they kind of enjoy being in the middle, but they kind of don't. A little Switzerland person.

Yeah. They bring that.

What they need to do is fire a whole bunch of those people and start fresh with some good ones. Gross. Patrick's in Dallas, Texas. Hey Patrick, welcome to the Ramsey show. Hey, thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's up?

I'm trying to stay out of debt. We have our full funded emergency fund, no debt other than the house, but we have major expenses that are foreseeable coming up. HVAC unit, septic tank. Both our cars have over a hundred thousand miles. More than my emergency.

So you're not on baby step six. You don't put him the money on the house until you get some money set back for these things that you know are going to be done. And you need to prioritize them and put a number beside each one of them and start attacking them and building a separate savings. account for the septic tank, a separate savings account for the car replacement, a separate.

Car replacement, HVAC.

HVAC, car, or septic? Probably a little septic.

Correct. So you need to put it where you think it needs to be. You think it needs to be at six, put it at six. Once you get that, then save up and fix the HVAC, and then save up and replace mama's car, because mama gets the good car. That's federal law.

And then we'd save up and we replace your old truck, right?

Yes. Okay. So we have an order of attack, and we're going to put our money towards that very intentionally and very directly, while doing 15% of your income into retirement. You can do all that. And you may have to work extra a little bit.

You may have to sell some stuff. You may have to do some things to keep it moving. But these are very predictable items. And this normally does happen, by the way, when you get to this stage, because you've been fixing nothing and driving beaters while you got out of debt. Way to go.

That's what you're supposed to do. Now. you got to fix crap and replace the beaters once you get out of debt and you get up to maybe four, five, and six. This is the perfect place to do it. You did it exactly right.

Way to go. Good job, Patrick. Good job. Well done. Patrice is with us in Canada.

Hi, Patrice. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Am I pronouncing that right? Yes, it is, Patrice. How are you?

Perfect. Better than I deserve.

Long story short, is that I went out on my own, paying $2,500 a month in rent. I make about $100,000 a year. Ten years ago, I had bought a home with a sibling and we had a verbal agreement that my mom and my younger sister would chip in for my part of the mortgage. I went through. a lot of life happened between that time.

I got a divorce, moved back, and ended up paying a little bit more. Then I moved out on my own again.

And my sister volunteered to chip in more. So now I'm thinking, and she said I don't have to pay anything, but now I'm thinking that probably wasn't the best decision. So it was long before I knew about your teaching. So I'm just wondering, right now I'm heading towards, maybe steps four,

I want it to sell. And then you talk to your younger sister and you tell her what the timeline is.

Okay. And then you figure out how you're going to take care of your mom, if that's before mom passes. It might be that we run this until mom passes, and then younger sister gets out on her own and we sell the house. That would be clean.

well, yeah, that's because we were.

. y'all need to write it down. This is our timeline, and this is our agreement. in the interim of that timeline. You three are going to pay the bill.

When mom passes, we're going to sell the house, and little sister is going to go have a life. And that's probably a good plan. Something like that. I don't care. But write it all out, and everybody sign it.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions. It's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one, best-selling author of the book Paycheck to Purpose, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225..

One of the great joys, Ken, of being me is that from time to time, our team helps me out by sending me the things that people say about me on YouTube, comments, and other social media, because I don't look at any of that stuff. And so my team here, they're generous and charitable in that they want me to know what people are saying.

Dave is an idiot. A poor man's smart man. German drummer, 13..

Booster6969 says, use a debit card and not a credit card at the gas pump is some of the most idiotic and dangerous information I've ever heard, especially considering there are so many people that actually follow this guy's, quote, expert advice.

Benjamin 8581 says, what a stupid waste of money. Dave Ramsey is too rich to give advice to anyone.

Yeah, because you'd want to listen to a poor person's advice about money. If I went broke and lost it all, which I did, and started again and stayed broke, that would give me credibility.

Uh, you're not bright, are you? Okay. Thomas Marlow 1254 says, it's not bad to use credit cards if you pay them off when you get paid and don't accumulate interest and then use the credit back. Dave is an idiot by saying, don't use credit cards. It's free money if you pay it off.

Hey, Thomas, it is not free. You had to pay it off. Remember that part? There's no free money helping you with this. This is my favorite.

Psych, psychotic, psychotic, psychotic, psychotic. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I like that. I like that. That's a good handle.

I don't know. What is this? This is, I guess, YouTube or something. Dave Ramsey gives dinosaur monetary advice. Don't listen to these idiots.

Buy Bitcoin.

These people aren't creative enough to come up with a username without four random digits. You shouldn't listen to those people. That's my takeaway. Really? Honey Badger 2986?.

I'm giving him a lot of coverage. I wonder if it was...

Honey Badger. That's a cool name. Yeah, but stop there. You ruined it with 2986..

. Aristotle said there's one way to avoid criticism. Say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. Isn't that true? And we say a lot, all the time, rather loudly, to 100 million people a week.

So it's kind of a problem. Yeah, that's what it is. So it just goes with the territory. Hey, it's the price of admission to be me and I'll pay it. It's a good.

Dipwad6437.

. Watch for.

John is in Tulsa, Oklahoma. What's up, John?

So, I'm selling a business I've had for 27 years and I need to know what to do with the money, on top of what I have kind of going on already. How much are you selling it for, man? Well, I'm going to be selling it for a million dollars. Wow. Good for you.

Thank you. I started with a $100 bill, actually, and a pickup truck.

Don't know what to do with the money. when I get it. I can't put it in the bank. Well, you can. I'm going to tithe.

I'm a tither. So I've been supporting the church for years. I believe in it. I believe it's the right thing to do. I enjoy that privilege, but I'm not going to give it all away either.

So what do we say?

. I started the work when I was 17.. I started the business when I was... I forget what year it was, but it was 27 years ago that I started the business.

All right. So your baby steps, millionaire. So, on the money part, I'll step in and then I'll have Ken talk to you about the career side of it in a minute. But I always tell folks when you get a windfall like this, a big check coming to put three names on it after you paid your taxes and your tithe. Okay.

After you do that, then put three names on the rest of the money.

Lifestyle. In other words, enjoy some of it.

Additional charity, additional generosity, and then invest it. And I don't care what the percentage is. You put a percentage on that. So I want you to, are you married?

Have some fun. Have some fun, dude. You've earned it. You're a good man. You work hard.

You've watched your pennies. You know what you're doing. So pick out something and y'all go do something fancy. Okay. Now, so that's the lifestyle percentage.

And you can say, I'm going to spend X percentage on lifestyle. And that can be upgrading a car, fixing some stuff on the house, going on trip. It could be all of those things. I don't care. We're going to put another percentage and you decide what the percentage is, into generosity.

And we're going to put another percentage into investing. I only invest, when I'm using that formula for Sharon and I, in two things. I invest in real estate that I pay cash for, and I invest in mutual funds.

Okay. And that's, that's where I would go. And Ken, I'm all, as we hit in the break, tell him right, quick, what's some good advice from a career perspective.

And you've got some time left, statistically. So I think that's a good way to.

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Good stuff. Melissa's in Atlanta.

Well, I have a 2012 Tahoe that I might be a little bit emotionally connected to, and my husband is telling me that it might be time to sell. So I'm wondering, when do you sell versus when do you repair? I haven't heard it discussed on the show since I've been listening. Interesting. How many miles?

. Okay. That old Tahoe raised your kids, didn't it?

So there are not currently any mechanical issues. However, my husband, who is a mechanic, can fix these things himself, albeit he doesn't really have the time, says that it's looking at a transmission in the future and is starting to have some suspension problems, just with things being worn out. And so he's telling me that the value of it is starting to approach the cost of repair. Yeah. Well, and the husband's a mechanic,

When you spend $3,000 on a repair and when you finish the repair, the car is worth less than $3,000, that was a bad move. Agreed? Okay. Like if you change the tires on the car and the car is worth more, that's a problem. Yeah.

Yeah. That's where you get to, right? I've done this. This is how I know. But now, technically speaking, if you want to run the numbers, you could repair a car cheaper than you can buy a new one the rest of your life.

But it reaches a point that it's just not worth the crap. Right. Yeah. I think you need a new car. Yeah, I'm with him.

Not a brand new car, but I mean, I think you need to buy a better car. I mean, you've gotten the life out of this one. It's served you well. Oh, Bessie, it's time for her to go to Tahoe heaven.

Well, and we're on baby.

Well, that's what we would be doing essentially. No, I'm not doing that. I'm sorry. I made an assumption that was wrong. I thought you were in a better position.

You get out of baby step two and you get your emergency fund, then you save up and move up in car. I'd drive that one until then. Yeah. Until the wheels fall off. Yeah.

No. Until you get out of baby step three and you get.

You'll.

That's what I did. It's what Ken did. Yeah. That's right. We drive the beater until we get out of debt and you just keep patching it together with duct tape and bailing wire and you keep it running.

And the good news is you got the guy there who.

Because you'd be surprised how much less expensive it is when you're not paying for labor. Now we're down to.

He would be the guy that have to put the new transmission in. Which is a pain in the butt. Yeah. Okay. Exactly.

Sophia is in Des Moines, Iowa. Hi, Sophia. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Ramsey family. Hey, what's up?

I don't know how to advise her whether she should cash it in or continue paying the $50 a month that she's been paying. And it's been a while. Yeah. She has $4,033 in her savings. If I had found her years ago, I would have.

. How's her health?

She had some issues, but in fair condition. Okay. Well, what the life insurance people use is they use an actuarial table where they statistically try to predict death. Okay. And that tells them how to price these things.

So here's what you've got. You've got a $6,700 life insurance policy that has a $2,500 cash value. Did I get that right? 2,300.. 2,300..

Okay. And so you actually have, yeah, you actually have $4,000 worth of insurance, because they're going to keep the 2,300 and they're going to give you the 6,700..

Okay. So the net is all that the insurance is worth. Does that make sense?

Yes. You put $2,300 in your hand today and not have the policy anymore. Cancel it. That's one option. Okay.

You took, you did away with $4,300 worth of insurance that you're paying $600 a year for.

So if she lives seven years, you lose money. That's the math. Okay. If she lives less than seven years, you make money. In no case are you going to lose or make much, because it's not got zeros on it.

It's just a couple of grand. Right. So it's not anything to stress about. How does she feel about it?

And you're paying $50 a month, $600 a year, to get $4,000 worth of insurance in your 88.

. So you've got to make it to, if you make it past 95, you've lost money on this transaction. In no case, if she dies tomorrow, you're not going to make much to make $4,000 at all for 50 bucks a month.

There's nothing, no shame in that, but emotionally,

I'd probably keep it. I hate the stupid things. on principle. I'd cash it in in a heartbeat, but I just kind of think it makes this lady feel better that she's got this lay in there to take care of her funeral.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey solutions. We have the debt-free stage on. the debt-free stage would be one, and, Ariely. Did I say that even close? Close enough.

Ariely. Ariely. Ariely. Ariely. Okay.

It's hard to say it in hillbilly. Okay, good. Ariely. I got it. I'm close now.

Way to go, guys. So where do y'all live?

And how long did that take?

. Oh, wow. Nice jump in just a little bit. Good.

They're better when they're debt-free though. And that's our little dog. Can't be repoed. I love it. Good for y'all.

Very fun. So what happened five months ago? What was the wake-up call? Put you on this Ramsey stuff.

Do you hear it?

I was going to the next job. And then someone at church mentioned, hey, that Ramsey guy. And we were like, all right, cool. I checked it out. And I'm like a zero to 100 type person.

So I came home and kind of freaked her out. I'm like, we're doing this plan and we're selling everything. And that's how we got into it. Yeah. And the smart conference that you guys did in April really just helped jumpstart that.

We were like, you know what? This is when we're going to start budgeting. This is where we're going to get our life in order. And we did zero to 60.. We both got two new jobs.

We both were working two jobs at the time, literally seven days a week. So it was a crazy fast time.

And just things that we couldn't really explain. just happened. We ended up getting some refund money from a collection agency.

Um, and I remember she was asking us like, Hey, do you guys have anything to sell? And of course I flat out lied. And I was like, no, I have nothing. And, um, I have a whole game room, uh, just full of stuff that was worth a lot of money. And just, I want to say halfway through, just, uh, God really tugged at my heart and was like, Hey, this is stuff.

Um, it's not worth marriage. It's not worth, not worth your future. Uh, so I, I sold it all. It was, it was worth like 12, like between 12, $13,000.. What was it that we got?

Um, video games, stuff that I collected over the years. Um, stuff that I had from when I was a kid. Uh, man, it was gaming, though. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. So, and I mean the secondhand market's. really, it's really hot right now for the, for stuff like that. You can get big money.

That's still, it's still a little painful.

I'm curious. You mentioned you guys were arguing

Yeah. It was daily, because we didn't know how, even though we were married, you know, on paper and in the faith, we didn't realize how separate we were in that area. So, um, but I want to say, after a month, especially when we started tithing, I mean, that's where just slowly but surely, things just started changing and then realized, man, there is a lot of peace in this. Yeah. And so now, on the other side of this,

You guys are incredible. I'm so proud of you because I'm watching a whole bunch of stuff happen right here in front of my eyes. It's, uh, this story is, it's riveting because, uh, you, you really, you mentioned tithing twice. So you, you've done a complete flip where God is now first, your relationship is second, and everything else is after. And it wasn't that way before you lined up on this stuff that caused you to force.

You know, the Lord comes first and everything.

You guys. So you gotta have some folks that are watching you from the outside, that are just going, you guys, your transformation is amazing. I'm so,

Oh, my gosh. Bless his heart. Um, so yeah, he's big, like Dave Ramsey. And so he really, really encouraged us. Um, so that was really.

How do they get out?

Start. Don't quit. Yeah. Don't quit.

Just keep going, no matter what. Don't stop. Um, and if you're married, you got a spouse, communicate, over, communicate. Doesn't matter how tiresome it gets. You keep going.

Yeah. Yeah. And two big things. Um, budgeting, for sure. I mean, y'all talk about it all the time, but staying in the budget really, really helped.

And then also using cash. Um, it is inconvenient when you have to go to places that, you know, it's easier to use a card, but I will say, using the envelope system, using cash, it helped us stick to our budget way, way better. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot easier.

You guys are incredible. I'm so proud of you. Hey, we've got a couple of every dollar, a one-year subscriptions for you. One for you guys to use to stay connected to every dollar on the budget and stay signed up. We'll pay for it now and you can give it away to somebody else.

We'll give you two of them. So, thank you guys for making the trip all the way from Clearwater. You're absolutely heroes. Thank you. Very, very well done.

Man, we watched that happen right before our eyes. Really special. Very cool. All right. Juan, and say it again.

Ariely. Ariely. Juan and Ariely from Clearwater, Florida. $37,000 paid off in five months, making 103 to 150, but, most importantly, a complete transformation of their relationship and their view on life. Count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream.

That's how that's done, boys and girls. I love it.

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Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. I'm Dave Ramsey. Carol is in Lincoln, Nebraska. Hi, Carol. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi, how are you? Better than we deserve. What's?

We are down to $2,400 a month. I have sold everything. I own nothing.

I don't even own a car, no more.

We live in a house. My husband farms now with his dad.

His dad's. like 83 years old. He feels like 24 is, wow, that's a lot of money, you know.

We are very thankful for that. Don't get me wrong. We are so thankful for what God has given us. We have a house that we live in because John farms the ground. We get it free.

Um, so God is definitely providing. However, I'm out of savings. I'm out of money completely. I'm barely making my bills. I had an accident.

There was an accident three years ago. I've had eight surgeries. Oh my. Like an automobile accident? No, I don't want to go there.

We'll just, let's not go there. But, um, I don't know what to do. I can barely make my bills.

I don't know. Like they want me to, I, there's your bills. What bills do you have?

Um, utilities, internet for school. Um, how many children do you have? Water, propane, one. What age? 11..

Okay. All right. And I homeschool.

Well, we were bringing home 10 grand a month. He was? No, he was bringing like six. Okay. And you were making four?

he's always, I mean, before he went to the power company, he farmed. Um, and then he went into the power company. Well, he didn't never want to go into the power company. Um, but his ex-wife made him, I guess, or she wanted more money. I don't think she's evil.

You called me.

He wants to farm. And it's his daddy's farm, and it's the daddy connection. There's a couple things going on here. Does your husband think that your father-in-law should be paying him more? Or is he, is he hunky-dory with what he's getting paid?

um, and point it all out. And then he gave him a little bit of a raise, but...

Which is wrong. Okay. So you need to sit down with him tonight at the kitchen table and say, I cannot be the only adult in this house anymore. I need some help. Bubba, you about to help me.

You don't have an option. You're going to help me figure this out, because I can't make this math work. And you don't want to do anything about the income side of the equation. So you show me where the magic is going to happen, because I can't figure this out. I'm not carrying the stress and the pain of this anymore, all by myself.

While you go out there and play farmer and act like everything's okay, because it ain't okay, Bubba. You need to have that talk tonight, with the television off and the kid in the bed. This is very serious, because this is not going to last. This is how he got an ex-wife the last time.

Is, he did not attend to the needs of his household.

Yeah. Well, I agree with that. Okay. He's a good, hardworking man. He's an honest man.

Yes. But he does not understand. And let me just tell you, guys, I'm one of them. We're pretty thick. You got to explain it to us.

I don't know. Tonight is the, tonight is going to be the explaining.

You got to, you got to use a verbal two before and hit him in the face. This is stopping tonight, Bubba. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. The surgeries and the of the finances, being the only person in this household making adult decisions, is over.

You're going to have to sit down and look at these numbers with me and decide with me.

I did. I don't believe you. I did. I took it. I did.

I took it off my, the bank account. I do not. I told him I wanted no more to do with the bill, because mentally I cannot handle. What was his response? But I'm the one that pick up the mail.

I'm going to believe you for the moment. What was his response when you laid it out that way?

Not.

Well, we have like $5 left over, so he's just not. He's detached from reality. That's.

It's time for you to do something too. You can't do what you did before, but maybe you're going to have to model the way. And I'll be honest with you, sister. I'm not sure that your relationship's got a lot of hope. if he doesn't wake up to this.

I really, I'm serious. You got to get self-sufficient. I think the two of you need.