Mt Rushmore Season Begins, Actor Arian Moayed (Stewy From Succession), Nuggets Parade + Fyre Fest
2023-06-16 01:56:23
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Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime. members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music on today's Pardon My Take. MOUnt Rushmore Season is back. We are ready to kick off Mount Rushmore season. It's going to be the best Mount Rushmore season we've ever had.
We have some stakes involved, we have some great pairings. We're going to start with the Mount Rushmore of lifetime stats you wish you had. We also have a great, great interview with actor Arian Moed, and it was awesome. He's Stewie from Succession.
It's one of those interviews we did. He came in the studio and we walked out. Being like, that guy rocks, he is the man. So some really cool, interesting stories from him, about Robin Williams, about succession, everything.
We have movie review Man on Fire, one of Denzel Washington's best movies.
Big day in honor of Mount Rushmore season. Who's on your Mount Rushmore presidents?
Ooh, Ben Franklin.
I got I like, Hamilton, Alexander, Hamilton, Hank, who do you got?
Dave Portnoy.
Yeah, I could call.
And Hank for a dollar, name a president Hank.
Taft.
Taft, Robert Taft.
Robert Taft Yes.
Bobby T.
ROBBY T Yeah, okay, so great show coming your way and it's brought to you by Premier Rugby 7s. PFT and Hank and Max are on their way to Austin. If you're listening to this, they're already there.
Premier Rugby 7s is a new top level professional Rugby 7s league in the United States. Rugby 7s is the most exciting game on the planet 14 minutes long, unpredictable speed, scoring excitement. If you love football, you'll love 7s. Listen, I could talk about Rugby 7s, or PfT, who loves rugby 7s is a rugby guy.
Pitch us on Rugby 7s.
Okay, I'm super excited. These are some of the best players in the world, and definitely some of the best players in the United States that are playing there. And it's the most fun game to watch games, seven minute halves, so the games are over in about 15 minutes, 16 minutes.
Then you move on to the next one. Great for doing a little side wager with the boys, maybe yugging some beers, maybe some beer bets. It's a party. So if you know anything about Rugby 7s, maybe it's something that you've seen when Donnie and I went overseas to Hong Kong.
It's just a massive party. Wear a costume, get dressed up, don't get dressed up, just go out there and have a great time. Watching people pass the ball and get tackled.
Yes, it's that simple. And they're high scoring games too, so it's going to be a lot of action. I think I'm going to be on the sidelines for the broadcast that's going out of Premier Rugby 7s, so watch it.
Hank, Where can they watch that if they're watching at home?
He's trying to find it right now. It's a traveling circuit model across the U.S. Focused on fan festival atmosphere, with live music, beer, costumes, activities, party going on in the stands the whole time. It kicks off this weekend in Austin.
Hank, PFT and Max will be there join PFL and Hank as they'll be at Q2 Stadium in Austin, Texas, on Saturday. Sorry, June 17th for Premier Rugby 7s Eastern Conference kickoff. We have a special deal for all of our listeners. Use code Try T-R-Y for 20 off tickets. Use code Try for 20 off tickets.
Go party with PFT Hank and Max and go team go, did you get that hank?
It's going to be on CBS Sports Network.
CBS Sports Network.
CBS Sports Network So you can tune in CBS Sports Network. Nice, I have the time still.
Tune in on the app 5.08 p...m.
I have the time.
5.
08 p.
M. Eastern 5.32, 5.58 and 6.23. Very specific, a bunch of games, a bunch of kickoffs, a bunch of good teams.
4 o'clock Central. If you're listening, yes, come out, say hi, we're going to be there. We've been at the fan fest too before.
I'm rooting for the Texas team, for the Texas rugby team. Hank and I are bitter, bitter rivals, so we'll have some bets going on for that one.
I love it, I love it. So, join Hank and PFT and Max at the Q2 Stadium and use code TRY promo code TRY for 20 off your tickets to the kickoff to Premier Rugby. 7S. Okay, let's go.
Now in the street, there is violence and there's lots of work to be done.
No place to hang out or wash in, and I can't name all of the songs.
Oh, no, we're going to run down to Electric Avenue and then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're going to run down to Electric Avenue, presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to part of my take. Today is Friday, June 16th, and it's baseball season.
Yeah, and Ricky Fowler's back.
Ricky Fowler's all the way back.
He shot a 62.
62.
U.S. open record, I believe.
Holy shit, well, Shoffley, Shoffley could shoot a better one. So we're taping this in the afternoon because PFT Hank and Max are going to Austin tonight, but yes, it is U.S. open.
It is baseball season, it is that first moment after all the other sports, and you're like, Okay, summertime.
It's hooky season, it is, if you like playing hooky and I think that you do. Perfect time of year to just skip out on work, it's important to have that work-life balance. You know, yeah.
Skip out on work, go to the baseball game and have a couple cold ones.
Yeah, you don't want to be a work-work guy.
No, you don't. It's also parade season, yes, parade season. The Nuggets had their championship parade today.
For all those that thought that Jokic was going to go home to Serbia and just be, you know, in a stable, staring at his horses for hours on end. Not yet, not yet, there's plenty of time for that. Later, he said that Thursday was the best day of my fucking life. And you know, I told you, I don't want to stay in parade, but I fucking want to stay in parade.
Yeah, love it because people were starting, not me. But I did see some of the discourse being like, Oh, Jokic, like he's trying too hard to not care because I guess he lost his. He didn't know where his NBA Finals MVP was. I don't think Jokic is doing, he's just being himself.
It's like Brooks.
Yeah, I was not like, he's going online being like, Ooh, am I getting points for not caring like he's himself?
I was going to say, like, he is kind of a Blake. yeah, Jokic is, he's got big Blake energy, Blakeovich.
Yeah, Blakeovich, I like it, I like it. So he's, uh, I'm, he's still, he's still our king. I'm not going to turn on him because he lost the finals. MVP.
No.
He's he's been drunk, he's been having fun. what the fuck, let him let him enjoy himself. People, I you know how you've seen it.
I'm sure as well, we'll be like, he's trying too hard to not care. It's like, No, I, he's just being an honest guy.
Yeah, he's just sick of running, yeah.
And what's the what's the payoff? Like? Where he's not online, he doesn't have like huge social media following, I don't even know if he has social media.
Like, he's not, he's not doing this for some payoff, where it's like he's going to gain some points. He's just being honest, the guy wants to see his horses.
I think it's funny, cause, uh, if you asked me a couple of years ago, I probably would have sided more with people that are like, he's trying hard to not care. Um, but only for the reason that, as a sports fan, watching that. If you see somebody reach the peak of their entire profession, it's a profession that you care about watching on TV so much. And they win a championship and then they're like, Oh, whatever, then you feel about yourself like, Well, why do I care so much if this guy's so good and he doesn't care?
Um, but at the end of the day with Jokic, I think it's a hundred percent legit. Like he spends all year in a country where he doesn't speak the native language, that's not his first language. He's like, picked it up along the way, um, so he wants to go home and again see his horses.
He wants to go home and talk Serbian to his horses, Yes.
So let him let Jokic just be himself, let him do his thing. Um also shout out Mike Malone, Michael Malone.
Oh no, today he was Mike.
He was date Mike.
Yeah, he was prison, Mike, today.
Nice to meet me.
Maybe on the way to prison. Mike, he was the drunkest guy at the parade, I know. uh, when you see these parades, usually the coach is not the drunkest guy. I fucking love Mike Malone.
We're running the shit back.
We got to get him back on the show.
Yeah.
He's watching him packwards, hat running the shit back. Uh, Brucey B. He was calling him. Yeah, he was like he was catching off.
Looked like fireball shots from the crowd. He was in a cherry picker. I think it was a maybe it was a fire engine he was on. He looked like he was having the best time ever.
He said We some greedy bastards, baby, yeah, uh, so Mike Malone, the man, he had a huge chain. what a boss.
He was like the embodiment of the, uh, the How do you do kids? meme when he was rocking the backwards. Hat oversized t-shirt that said, like, put these nugs in your pipe and smoke it or whatever, yes, and then just hammered with a giant t-shirt on. He looked awesome.
He looked like he was having the time of his life. And I would give, I would give him the parade, MVP, the PMVP, and then I would also give this other guy who caught a beer that was thrown at the parade. Have you seen the interview on the news of this guy? This is the most Denver bro of all time.
Listen, listen to this, dude reacted, catching a beer and then chugging it on the air.
You have the greatest moment of your life. Tell me there was eye contact at ball. Oh yeah, no dude. As soon as he tossed me that. Brewski I already had to do what I had to do, man.
I opened up that straight bear claw on him and I was just like, Y'all, baby, you know what? I drank it and as soon as I seen it, I was like, I know what I got to do.
Look to my voice said this for us.
Bang, bang, you know what I'm saying? So you made eye contact with him and they threw a beer? Yeah, no, literally, yeah.
Like, cause, like. I was hyping up the crowd and he engaged it. And then he just like, looked right at me and I was like, Dude, I'm the one bro, come on, send it my way. And as soon as he did, he launched it. I fucking caught it. And that's just, it's just a history story.
After that, you know what I mean.
It's just a history story after that.
It's just story. After that, that dude's awesome.
Oh, hell, yes, he reminds me of the the Did you see the video of the Philly guy?
Uh, oh, the i-95.
Yeah, i-95.
He's like, Yo, I was sleeping and I woke up and then the bridge is gone.
We lost the World Series, we lost the Superbowl, we lost i-95..
Did he say that? Yeah, what? Oh no, I didn't hear that part.
Step your highway game up, Max. I haven't. Yeah, oh yeah.
Let's play it.
Let's hear the one that went. It was separate from, like, the video that went viral on Twitter. Oh, okay.
It was just have a just when there's no not a lot of sports to talk about, dudes rock.
Just, yeah, just go interview a bro. Yeah, dudes, rock of the week, yeah.
Dudes, rock of the week, Um, all right, other things, yeah, us open going on right now.
Max looking good, strong for his first day. What did he finish at?
Does he finish? I think he finished at minus two. Okay, I think two under, two under.
We'll take that good showing from Max.
That's a good showing, you can't, it's it's what we're talking about, put the put the towel over the leaderboard. You can't worry about Ricky Fowler being minus eight because it's Rick Fowler minus eight, Shoffley minus seven and then the next person, Scotty Sheffer, minus three.
Obviously, Brooks hasn't gone yet, bunch of big names in the afternoon haven't gone yet, but.
Oh, and more importantly, Max Max's course record still stands. Yes, yes, unless Shoffley nails this birdie putt.
Oh, no.
Well, he's in the minus seven.
No, he's tied right now. Oh no, did I just jinx Max's course record? Jesus Christ on his home track?
P.ft.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think it's a good spot for Max, outside of those two crazy numbers, like he's right there. You can't lose your record to a guy. The course is, the course is coming.
Yeah, I don't know, I feel like this course, this course is kind of washed right now. Spieth is the only person to ever finish 10 under for a major for the U.S. Open.
Really.
And there's no way. I mean, I feel like the course is coming, Brooks is going to bite back. They're not shooting minus eight again tomorrow. How's that going to happen?
You think PIN placements are going to be more dangerous?
Wind they'll put, they'll call up the wind, yeah.
Hit up Darpa.
Yeah, just be like, Hey guys, we're going to need a gust.
Max also could have, he could have been three under. There was one putt that he had that just did a 360. Stayed on the lip. But he also has some great par saves, yeah.
I'm not going to congratulate par saves, I'm just not. I expect more. All right, yeah.
I'm holding the high standard.
Positive vibes on the course, yeah.
And I feel good about them, but I'm also, you know, we got to, we got to be positive, but we also got to be. We can't just be giving out gumdrops and candy canes for gold minus two. We got to get better, we got to build off, it's a good start.
Build off Yeah, you know who else gave out gold stars to everybody? Yes, that's true.
Oh, here's Sam Bennett. Uh, what else? We got anything before we get to Mount Rushmore season, which I'm so excited for. God damn it, do I love Mount Rushmore?
Oh, I just want to say that if I lived in Las Vegas, this isn't about the Golden Knights, this is about the Oakland Athletics. If I lived in Las Vegas, I would not go to an Oakland Athletic game. Once they moved to town, I think I think Las Vegas needs to stand, or at least threatened, to stand with Oakland fans, because think about it this way.
If you're getting a team, that's that's illegally robbed from a city and deposited into your city as your new home, your new home team to root for. That's like if you if you hook up with a chick who's married and then you expect that that person is going to be loyal to you. This is a this is a piece of shit owner. Las Vegas should do in solidarity with Oakland. Tell them we're not going to go to these games.
So you can't just take a team away from it if you want to relocate a team. That owner, first of all, he's a billionaire, he's have to pay for his own stadium. Facts Leap that out.
Please, Kim, bleep that out, too.
And fuck him in the ass.
Fuck him up the A's.
Fuck him in the eye hole.
Yeah, so you should. If you do move a team, you should have to go to prison for five years. Okay, how's that? how's that?
Just go to jail you have, you should go to jail in the town that you abandoned. And then, yeah, you can get out of prison if you make it, and then you can collect your billions of dollars on the other end.
Counterpoint? There's probably some like kids in Las Vegas right now, growing up, and they're like, Yeah, I mean, we just win Stanley Cups and we steal Oakland teams.
I guess so.
The Raiders, they've got practice.
They do have practice and a lot of practice. Stealing. The Raiders bounced around a little bit, though.
It's just they still were stolen from the same stadium that the A's playing.
It just it feels dirty. I would not, I would not be comfortable supporting that.
Yeah, I loved, I love the A's doing the reverse boycott, that was awesome and they won seven games in a row. Are they still the worst team?
I think they're tied for the worst record. I've lost a lot of money in the last seven days on my Oakland Athletics bet, which is just the system I'm betting against their ownership. But still, I think it's close to being it's about breaking. The A's are a game better than the Royals.
Lost nine in a row, they're 18 and 50..
Wow.
Huge, that's crazy when you win seven games in a row to go 18 and 50..
Yeah, they're 19 and 51 now.
Yeah, but you won seven games in a row to so you were 12 and 50..
What's his name, John Fisher?
11 and 50.
Yeah, John Fisher, Fuck John.
Fuck John Fisher, John Fisher doesn't love you bro, Las Vegas, he doesn't love you.
We stay in with Oakland.
Now we lost 95.
So it looks like we're just taking L's.
He doesn't have the best luck right now.
We lost the World Series, we lost the Super Bowl, and now we lost 95, so it looks like we're just taking L's.
It does look like we're just taking L's.
What did that clip say? I didn't hear it. Billy's not having the best luck right now. We're just we lost the Super Bowl.
We lost the World Series and now we lost 95. Yeah, so it looks like we're just taking L's. As a Boston fan, Max, what do you think about that?
Nah, that guy's a legend. Fuck Boston.
All right, should we get to Mount Rushmore season? Then? Great interview and we'll see everyone we're going to, Yeah, we'll do both those things.
Fire fest.
Max's course record still stands, Yes.
Max's course record still stands. Clap it up, clap it up, and he did it as a young college kid.
Cantlay is about to come out hot.
Oh, okay, so classic hank rooting against our friends.
No Brooks, Max Cantlay.
You know, Patrick?
No, but I bet on him.
Cantlay.
So if it was Brooks versus Cantlay at the end, Brooks, yes.
Yeah, if it's Brooks and Max at the end, hank.
Oh, if it's Max, I win more money.
I would say Max, I would say Max, because it's his first.
Yeah, although it's Brooks Six that would fucking rock.
I'm going to wait till what Charlie tells me to say.
I'll, you know, what? If it's Brooks and Max at the end, I'll just close my eyes.
Hank I won't watch it if it's Cantlay, and either Max or Brooks, Max or Brooks, will you cash out?
Your cantlay. I won't be able to, cause we'll be in Texas, but in theory, I would, I mentally will, I mentally will cash out.
Fair point speaking of cashing out. Uh, before we get to Mount Rushmore, Mount Rushmore is brought to you by ourselves. Barstool Sportsbook Barstool Sportsbook Download and sign up for the Barstool Sportsbook today. UH. Terms apply must be 21 plus gambling problem called winning a hundred gambler.
You bet the U s open, you can bet. Here's something I'm going to think I'm thinking about, uh, driving over to New Jersey and betting the College World series. So let's talk a little College World series real quick.
Bring it to the people from the barstool sportsbook. Wake Forest is the favorite, LSU is the second favorite. I think I'm going to go, I might just go Vol for life and take Tennessee eight to one.
Tennessee not bad.
What's UVA at UVA is, uh, they've, they've, they've plummeted, so that I think they started the day at like seven to one, they're now five to one.
Hmm.
So, a lot of action on UVA.
What about Tulane?
Tulane is not in the college baseball.
We're about. They were in there on that streak.
They were in the tournament, yeah, this is now the third round of the tournament, so they play this regional, super regionals. Now we're in Omaha.
Is oral still around?
Oral is still around 25 to one.
I'm I'm taking oral, I'll take oral any day of the week. I think it's just like the NCAA Cinderella now, yeah.
Yeah, it's Madness College World Series.
My favorite thing about the College World Series, too, is the Jello shot counter at that one bar. Yeah, LSU is going to dominate that, for sure. So you can go to the Barstool Sports Book right now, you can bet college baseball.
You can bet, Uh, us open regular M.L.B baseball. It's almost time for NFL futures. football's right around the corner. Download and sign up for the Barstool Sports Book today. Terms apply.
Must be 21 plus gambling problem, Call 1-800-Gambler. If you love Mount Rushmore season, then go to the Barstool Sports Book. It is brought to you by the Barstool Sports Book all summer long. Okay?
MOUnt Rushmore Season It is time. If you are new to the show, Every summer we do Mount Rushmore season. There's been different, uh, iterations of it. We've obviously added people to the show because we want everyone to get involved.
Uh, we thought, maybe like, a six man Mount Rushmore would be, uh, pretty tedious and long. So we're doing teams again, and the teams are Max and Hank, two guys that love each other, Billy and Jake.
You guys should just be the Celtics, yeah, team Celts.
Yeah, Team Celts and then PFT and myself. I think we stretched all the age ranges. Uh, with these Mount Rushmores, so, uh, awl throughout. The idea that we should probably have a punishment this year to make it a little more interesting.
Hank has already said no to this, I've talked to everyone else, Hank just got here.
Well, he doesn't know what the punishment is, but he gave a preemptive No. Well, if, if. Before we even get into it you again, we've talked about it. We talked about, uh, on FAQs a few weeks ago. You guys, it's, and it's fine, it's fun exercise.
It's good to, you know, get the banter going. But you guys ruined Mount Rushmore two years ago when you threw the pizza toppings draft. I will never be able to take it seriously again. That kind of was the end of, you know, the competitive side of it. So I, you know, I've actually gone back and I've thought about it. Can never really like, I can't, I can't take it seriously as as a competition.
I've thought about it, I can talk about my picks, but I've thought about it, I've thought about it. Double Olives was actually a great pick, great draft.
The older I get, the more I realized I wasn't throwing that at all, I was subconsciously trying to win that.
We did it so you could get a win.
You're trying to cancel Mount Rushmore, that's, that's lame, that's poor, that's poor. Hank Lockwoke.
That's in the past. Let's move forward, let's make it competitive again. I think what we should do is so the the....
No, and you guys throw the votes, you guys had the two biggest vote getters.
Listen, I've thought about it, I've thought about it, listen. The graphic will be posted with with no names attached. So it'd be team one, team two, team three. I promise you that we, I think what we should do is we should do like a two hour voting window and no retweets during those windows.
So we can't talk about it, it's, but people vote, they just see the graphic, they vote. We can talk about it after the votes are done, but that's it.
So that way we get both both like people, you know, arguing online. Mount Rushmore season later on in the afternoon of show days. But we also get a clean vote that has no, no one like pushing it one way or the other.
What's the punishment? Okay?
The punishment? And again, let me just say, uh, five out of six of us in this room are in on this hank. You were the last person to turn your key.
I haven't heard, okay.
So I was thinking through punishments and I was thinking, well, the bowling punishment was great because people could watch along. People like to see, you know, us get punished. Uh, the punishment that I am offering up for Mount Rushmore season is the losing. Team has to do a 24 hour stream in a white padded room. Solitary confinement Obviously, you're not solitary because you're with someone else 24 hours. Nothing else in the room, but the two of you with a pee hole, with a pee hole.
See that with the people that he wants a glory hole so bad.
Let's just get a bunch of heart. I mean, again, if it's five out of six like I, I guess I'll. I, you know, that's doesn't matter. Anyway, my vote doesn't matter, but you're going to rig it so that you guys don't have.
We're not at all going to do that if we posted anonymously and we're not going to retweet it for two hours. And our fingers. I'm down for it, I'm down for the for the added content. 24 hours, you know? And if you guys told us me and Max had to do it anyway, I would do it. But this is just, you know, you guys are, you guys are, it's fine.
Memes are saying, Maybe maybe you get one ball.
Well, no, we were adding something every two hours, so it's like after two hours, maybe we had a pen and a paper, after another two. You could sleep in there. I'll do whatever.
People just watching you sleep.
Billy, Billy's going to treat this.
What if you got a boner while you're sleeping?
That probably I was going to say, I was going to bend her before and then sleep, then that would be miserable.
I think it should be. Also there should only be one pillow allowed in the whole room.
You know, what's going to happen is, if it's Hank, he's going to start yawning, and Max is going to actually kill him. It will be like a prison cell.
It's going to be a psychological test for the losing team.
What happens if someone snaps, though you start hallucinating? That's great for rating. Can we have someone on call?
And we could do Hank. What we could also do is we could do a picture and a picture where the losing team is in the 24 hours. By themselves. And we could have the other four winning teams. Could offer some, you know, commentary at certain points to keep the stream interesting.
Yeah, listen, I'm never going to be. I'm never going to turn down extra content. That'd be a good stream, I just, and a great stream. You know, no phone, let's just hope you guys are on this phone.
Just guys. And honestly, I guess if I'm really thinking out loud, it's like, if AWs really want to watch one of these teams do it, they want to watch you guys have to go in there. So, oh yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, no, they would never want to torture you.
Well, now now you're doing what you accused us of doing.
No, I'm just thinking, I'm thinking out loud, Okay, it is a good point, it's a valid point by Hank.
You're rigging the vote, I'm thinking it's already contentious, you're rigging the vote, all right, so you're in for this.
Yeah, I does it, five out of six, I didn't. It doesn't matter, yeah.
Are we going to be allowed to sleep overnight? Yeah, you can sleep like it's 24 hours, We're going to be left alone. Can Billy's dog come?
No, no, no dogs, no, but we'll actually Jake and Billy's dog in a room together would be very funny.
But we were thinking about, you know, we'll add, we'll add.
I actually think me and Max would be the worst combination.
I think you guys would be pretty good. We'll add different things throughout. Like, you know, we were saying that hour four, we add like a game boy with very little battery left, shit like that, just to, you know, we'll keep splicing it up. But you are in a in a cell for 24 hours or a padded room, we don't want to say a cell.
We don't want to get Mr. Beast canceled here. Uh, you're in a padded room for 24 hours with your partner.
When after Mount Rushmore season, which is September, I was actually going to be like a Tuesday or Wednesday.
I actually was thinking it would be funny, as if we did it.
You guys want to do this in the football season.
I'm going to say it, no, I can't do it.
I don't know if the office will be fully ready to be able to pull this off. But what would be funny is to do, uh, start the Wednesday, Wednesday night before, uh, the kickoff for NFL season, so you get out and there's NFL.
That'd be good. Yeah, I mean, I'm just future you in the off chance that you do lose like you would football season.
We're going to try to win.
We're going to try to win.
What about birthday presents here?
What about the, Uh, this is running on Friday, but we'll do you want to, well, you have.
To take this call, yeah.
Hello.
He's taking the call for Hank's birthday, Hello.
Yes, it's a stripper. Yeah, it is okay.
I'll be right there. Sucked off on right now, big boy.
Yeah.
Maybe we had a stripper just hour seven, there's a stripper at it, bill.
You want to go escort her? I was actually thinking, if we did it in some sort of a room that had a glass wall, we can have the super just dance for us on the other side of the wall.
We'll allow, we'll allow every two hours you get, or every three hours you get, like a a five minute bathroom break.
What if your body doesn't align with that?
You're going to have to train to hold it in three every three hours. you can't. you're not potty trained to poop. Yeah, three hours, you shit before you go in, and I think you'll be okay.
What's the food situation? The food situation is whatever we give, we order to you.
Whoever, whoever the losers or winners are, get to decide the food situation.
We'll put it through a hole in the wall, yeah.
It's going to be great.
There's a high chance we're all doing it well. There's a there's a very easy way to not do it, and that's just to. That's just to win. Great, yeah.
All right, hey, happy 30th birthday. This is great. We got we got $200 worth of taco Bell because that's the most that they would allow me to order. Um, we're going to have to make our own quesadillas.
That's a delight. I'm starving. And we got we got some Baja blasts for the boys coming in, too.
Oh, hell, yes.
So what are we going to do, like, three points for first place, one point for second?
Um, yeah, how do we? yeah, how do we decide that? I don't know. It should go three, two, one, three points for first, two points for second, one point for last.
What if we make last negative points?
That would be pretty lit. Last place negative one point.
Oh, I guess two, two, one zero is fine. yeah, two, one zero is fine.
Yeah, but when you add a negative negative or one zero negative, it's just easier.
Uh, okay, so we're going to kick off Mount Rushmore.
And the voting is only on Twitter. We're not, we're not, we're not giving the other platforms voice.
Would you like to? How can we do that?
I care about the other platforms, yeah.
How could you do that?
I don't know, okay, we can set up a poll on Instagram, right? IG stories, well, then you have to consolidate the poll results.
I think it has to be one poll, we just have to decide.
It's one poll.
Why can't you just get? I mean, I just you guys are whatever? No, no, okay.
Fine, we can do Instagram, that's fine.
What about Google Drive? For a poll, okay?
That's no.
HaNk And you need ID as our numbers, guy, we can do a poll on Instagram and a poll on Twitter, and you can consolidate.
I said, we keep it simple, just like we've done every single year. Which is, we put the poll out at the same time of day on Twitter and we vote on Twitter. It will be a thing people can listen to the show and then rig it well. I'm based on who they want.
That is out of our control. You want to do the poll before anyone listens.
Mail-in voting No.
I'm down, this is going to be a disaster, but I, you know, let's let's let the chaos ensue. Yeah, oh, let's go blast.
For the boys, this is a delight.
We could also, if you guys want, if you think it would be smarter to do the polls like the day after the show comes out. So it's not. People don't have it in their mind of who picked what. We can do that.
I was just say this now, whatever we pick, we have to stick with. It can't be like someone starts to lose and then we change the rules.
Agreed, agreed.
What if we tweet the poll? I'm down with just Twitter two hour window.
Two hour window.
And we'll say noon o'clock every day, noon to two.
Tweets and replies Yeah, noon to two.
Turn off tweets and replies That's smart, Jake.
Yeah, that is smart. Call noon noon to two every day. The poll will go up and it will be blind team one, team two, team three.
And we'll switch up the teams like where they are. Yeah, exactly, all right, okay.
I like my team, I actually think.
I like my team and awls. You have to vote who they actually think wins, so don't no rigging on your side.
You can't, I mean, you can vote forever.
You won't know you already. Did you already tried to rig? It's a free country, big cat.
All right, it's free country. Okay, it's like voting for the Green candidate.
Hank and Max in that cell would be so good. And you would get the benefit of me and PFT being able to commentate for the people.
Exactly.
Less producers You have no idea where that would go. No, we're all higher producers.
That's fine.
Big cat. I was thinking that if me and you have to do the punishment, we probably just won't talk at all. Because we don't want to do the show, we want to save for the show, so we're probably just going to probably nap. I mean, you're tired, you're a dad.
You got to catch up on sleep, you're just going to nap the entire time. Hank would literally sleep the entire time. No, that's all, that's all he does.
Okay, everyone.
All right.
So you would also pace, you would do a lot of pacing around the room and not let Hank sleep.
All right, so before you go, one last rule before the two members go in, they have to take 120 milligrams of adderall. I could power through that.
No, I might have a psychotic three that sounds illegal, give me that and some MJ, and I'd still power through and sleep.
Okay, all right.
So first up, it's like you're having a knife fight in your stomach. The wolf of Wall Street.
First up, we're going to do Mount Rushmore lifetime stats we wish we had, so these are stats. You wish. You could just pull up and be like, Oh, I've done this this many times in terms of order.
Snake draft. Obviously I'm going to put a number behind my back, one, two, one, two or three. I'll show PFT.
You want me to show the camera to questionable your teammate, how do you want to do it? Lottery ball? We did large belt, closest to all right.
That's easier when you. How about this one big big cow?
How is this? how is this difficult? That's what we did last year.
How is this so difficult?
It's just everything is a lot more, there's so much more.
They wanted there to be more at stake. You got it, okay?
Now it's already like, again, like I used to love that. You guys used to get so mad about the Mount Rushmore polls, and then you just, and then you just ruined it. So just tell me what the number is, I'm going to write it. So hard for me to take you guys that you're.
I'm going to put a number behind my back.
Okay, and then I typed one one button, all right.
So PFC hands are up. So you guess, then you guys guess. If neither of you get it, then we get to wonder what one, one, two or three.
And if you get it, if you get it right, then you go on. What days should they go? We should do it every year so that everyone has the same, yeah.
No, we'll just start rotating off.
Oh, then, who cares, three?
Okay, you got it.
Okay, all right, great. Do I get to pick?
Yeah, you guys get to pick the first order, what? And then we're going to just rotate from that.
Yeah.
So you guys say, Do you guys, you guys pick the order?
Oh man, fuck, uh, we'll go first.
Okay, who's going to go second you? okay?
All right, so you guys will go clockwise? Yeah, so you guys are you sure next one? I'll go first?
Are you sure Max wouldn't be more comfortable going second? Well, No, Jake's the new second guy, that's true.
Second place, all right, so Mount Rushmore of Lifetime Stats.
You wish you had.
I love beers.
Drink first pick. That would have probably been our first pick. good first pick, yeah.
Great first back, great first pick. Uh, okay.
Anything else you want to say about that? What's your guys guess?
My guess is, if you're averaging and you obviously have to average out over the years. 10 ish beers a night drank, it's a tough over 15 years, no average, like sometimes it's 20..
Sometimes it's five. Do you think you drank 10 beers a day for 10 years? No, 10 beers a night? Drank like, I don't if I'm drinking, I'm.
I think I drank 5,000 beers in college if I had to guess 25 beers a week for.
I can't do math, I'm going 35 52 weeks in a year.
35 a week for 52 weeks, but you've only.
Yeah, but you definitely haven't drank as much beer as us, right?
I think we don't matter what you would guess.
I mean, probably drank more beer than me.
Yeah, it would be an awesome staff. Uh, okay, pft.
I've drank a zillion. I did the math one time.
I think we should go with, I think we should go with five if we want to do that, if we want to just keep it and we can get the other ones. What do you think?
I, I like one.
Yeah.
I like one a lot that might get taken because I don't think they're going to take five.
You're not going to take five, we're going to take five, all right. Our, uh, first pick will be, uh, biggest shits taken.
I want to know, wait, like length or weight, weight, length, everything.
All the stats about all my shit.
Yeah, you get like Amazon Prime stats.
Yeah.
We've all got all those snakes.
What are you shaking?
I had, I had that down, I took it off because who really cares? Like, you're going to go out and like, I would absolutely want to know you're going to go around and flex to your boys about like? I disagree, Max, but I completely agree with you.
Max is right, you guys have a shit. Group chat. Have you ever heard of a little a little app called Snapchat that was entirely invented just so people can send pictures of their shits to it?
It also be sick to have, like all the stats where it's like, how big, how much bigger they got as you got older.
I think I've taken a five pound shit before.
I do, too.
No, oh yeah, yes, who cares? yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, you care.
Who cares, who cares?
Okay.
Or or even like, or even like, uh uh, pantone. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like a Kirk Goldsberry heat map.
You have like, one green one and you're like, What the hell was that?
Sometimes orange, Yeah, yeah, you can also do a spray chart of your toilet, yeah.
Percentage of diarrheas.
Like, Oh my god.
It would be incredible. I'm like, 30%.
I want to see Lamar Jackson.
It sounds like you guys liked this pick.
That's a great pick. No? Thanks. thanks, Jake. All right, Jake. Uh, will you do the honors?
Yep, number of times you've ejaculated, ooh, okay, bonk.
That's gross.
Hell yeah, you got to put it on the graph. I feel like that's a preposterous way to say that all, all, every time. And we want some of the stats volume, uh, mobility.
Wait, so you thought, Shits was weird and you want this? Yeah, this is wait. But you, you thought you, you, you were like, what are you going to tell your friends about? the shits? Are you going to tell your friends about the shits?
No, no.
But then you're like, it's just for you guys. It's just like, look at the numbers on this load that I shot last time. No, no, but but it's for you. Percentage of that ended up in your belly button, yeah.
Just like how much you can nut Billy wants to do a combine for his sperm. That's what I'm getting out of all of this.
Okay.
It'd be fun, all right?
Good first pick.
Oh, we got to go, uh.
Snake draft.
Yep, uh, number of serial killers walked by MM, that's, that's a pretty good pick. BILLY Yeah.
Cause then it's like, Holy shit, six. What defines what defines serial killer? I think it's over three people.
Okay.
Three and over. Okay, I think double homicide is not serial.
Good pick, Good pick. Like separate occasions.
Yeah.
Separate occasions, right?
Like, meditated shit.
Manslaughter, I think, also counts.
Yeah, okay, okay.
That's a good pick, actually. No, no manslaughter.
But Billy you, you spent a lot of time at the VA with your fellow veterans, so your numbers would be pretty crazy.
That doesn't count.
Okay, all right. So wars don't count. I mean, we're moving to Oblock. wars don't count.
No, okay, so Billy doesn't.
War crimes, war crimes do count.
War crimes count.
According to WHO, Yeah, defined crime The Hague.
Convicted the Hague. Okay, all right.
Has to be convicted. Yeah, we, I mean, we hung out with Aaron Rogers. Fair trial.
Okay, our next pick now, I think we should go five, yeah.
We'll take five, all right, the number and amount of drugs that you've taken, and type and type of drugs that you've taken.
Everything.
Just all the drugs you've taken.
You get to have we want on the graphic number.
Drugs taken, drugs taken, yeah.
Okay, you've got, like all the you got little icons that I'm envisioning pulling up like, you're in minority report and you're tapping, okay.
Here's where I took ecstasy in Hong Kong, here's like.
Just how much cocaine did I do in my twenties?
Yeah.
Would like to know that. And then the weird ones you get, the weird ones that are like one time only kind of stuff.
Yeah, and then you also get the version of that that you can pull up and show to your doctor the lying version of it. Yeah, yeah, oh, and I mean.
Your fence stuff for drugs.
Pounds of weed.
That'd be fascinating to scroll through.
Yeah, it'd be a lot.
It would be a lot.
It'd be concerning, but it would be fun to look at. I was, you know, as I just turned 30, I was like, thinking, cause obviously it's like, you know, when you're, you're teens, you just start kind of going down that path. But it was like I did some reflection, listening to Life episode. I was like my twenties was just all under the influences of things over the years. I'm like, that's, that's a lot.
It'd be cool to see. Also I should probably take a break, like the total hours that you've spent inebriated, yeah.
It would, it would be fun to to look at it, uh, while high.
Yeah.
Your screen time like, really get like real.
I would like the I would like the one-offs, like the oh yeah, like, I took that one time. I'm like, Yeah, this guy gave me this and I went to a concert. Or you don't even know.
Yeah.
Like, Oh shit, I smoked that joint. It did seem kind of funny. That was Angel time I did get QB sneaked.
Yeah.
Yeah, it wasn't just two drugs. Billy got roofied, yeah.
Okay.
I feel like Billy likes to think he got roofied. He's going to be like, Where's the Roofie tab? one time? One time Billy gets home, he's like, still got it?
Okay.
Is this happening in heaven? I have, like, is this at the gate to heaven? We're getting this?
No, it's just someone hands you a notebook and like, Hey, here are all your stats.
But it's not the complete. I'm imagining, like, you're at the gate to heaven, you're seeing all these stats. No, it's like stat muse, it's stat booths where you can like, Look, okay, here's when I drank this beer.
You can pull up, you can sort the data, you can, you can, uh, like, sort the different numbers and different columns. You can get whatever you want. Whatever the data would be, the data would be exciting, yeah.
Uh, we're going to go with sports. Minutes watched. Because again, if you're breaking into the data, it'd be interesting to see the different sports. You know which, which sports you watch the most? Who knows ball the most of? You can compare and contrast with your friends. To be like, it's like, kind of like, Spotify into the year, like, Yeah, I'm in top 1, Where are you?
I think I'm top 1 of action, I think I would be in the world. Yeah, I don't know what else I could say. I'm top 1 in, but watching matching is there.
Okay, uh, and then again, if we're if we're talking about data and like, actually being able to see, like, to me, what'd be interesting was the data would be text messages sent. And then also seeing, like, you know, text to girls, text to friends, text to work, text.
Messages sent.
What, what are you? what? where are you sending your texts? I mean, everyone texts all day, right? your ratio of text received to text sent? Yeah, yeah.
That's not a great pick, but it's your pick. Yeah, that's fine. Good pick, Max, Yeah.
You're either going to find out you only talk to dudes or you only talk, What's that, Max? It wasn't, it wasn't anything, that was my pick, that was my pick.
I mean, Max's picks. Well, I mean, your live stream is going to be so awesome, we'll give another one for you. Guys are already falling apart. No, I, I have. Yeah, I have, I have one one in there that I think is great.
Okay, uh, all right, we're up next.
Not at the top of the list.
I think we go with, uh, three.
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
All right, I'm gonna say three, all right. Uh uh, let me phrase this correctly, so that, well, we can, we can workshop it. But it's basically its biggest comeback. Based on wind probability and getting out of trouble with your wife, girlfriend or parents or boss. So it's basically what, like your stats of you're in trouble and you got out of trouble and seeing the wind probability. Like you had a 2 chance of getting out of this pickle and you found a way to get out of it.
I love that. Yeah, what do you want? On the graph? Is it wind probability of getting out of trouble? biggest comeback in terms of wind probability and getting out of trouble.
Yeah, biggest. yeah.
You don't like that hank, yours would be on fire, you know? I just don't know how it's going to fit in trouble.
Yeah, hank, yeah, in my twenties, yeah.
You were in trouble, you almost, you got fired, and then you just kept showing up. You were like the reverse Atlanta Falcons.
Yeah, how, how? How close were you to to being in, like, big time trouble? And then you got yourself out of it?
Biggest comeback and getting out of trouble.
Yeah.
By wind probability.
By wind probability. Yeah, that's a great pick.
It's a good pick, it's a great pick, that's a pick. All right text messages.
Like, you're about to get arrested, you tell the cop, it's the data, the interesting data, the cop.
This would be very interesting data to be able to basically list all the times you were in trouble.
The cop pulls you over, even the small ones, you get pulled over by cop. Maybe you have something in the car that you shouldn't have. You tell the cop a great lie about where you're going.
Cop's like, Okay, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Yeah, you want to know that? Yeah, 99.8%.
I was getting locked up. How close?
All right, you guys last two picks.
So you guys can veto this. It's a little similar to Hank's other one, but we had a number of football games you've watched at least one second of. I think it's very similar, yeah.
Okay.
Cause you figure it's 250, 272 a year, times whatever veto. A number of days you've spent on the toilet, okay, but the shit stat that we brought up, that wasn't good enough for you guys.
No, it's fine. You spent a lot of time playing games and texting on the toilet, translate that to days you spent a decent amount of your lives on the toilet.
That's our pick.
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