#1948 - Tony Hinchcliffe & Brian Redban
2023-03-01 02:35:13
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
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Brian, you got every kind of caffeinated beverage known to man in front of you. what do you got?
I got a smoothie and black rifle.
Two black rifles and then you got a cooler.
Oh, this is liquid IV.
Oh, look at you trying to stay hydrated.
I got factor, I got liquid, I got all the sponsors.
You've remained remarkably healthy.
One of the people I was worried about during Covid, it was you. I was worried about you and Tim Dillon. You were my number one and number two. But you fucking coasted through it like it was nothing.
Yeah, it's weird, my doctor said. I have this thing where my metabolism is too strong and it's like fucking my gums up right now.
Your metabolism is fucking your gums up. Yeah, what kind of doctor do you go to? a chiropractor? Do you go to a witch doctor?
No, I've actually been to two dentists now because I'm dealing with it right now, my gums are like gum disease type shit.
Receding gums.
Yeah, so I have to get a deep clean. But they're letting me use nitrous for the first time at a doctor. I've never done that. Have you done nitrous at a doctor? It's fun, really.
Yeah.
How silly, you haven't done it yet.
I haven't done it yet.
Have you done it?
Yeah, and I ended up being mean to the dentist. I was making jokes that weren't funny, like nobody was laughing.
Oh, no, yeah.
That's what I'm scared of because, you know, in college you do it and you fall out a window, you start fishing around and shit. How are you going to do that at a dentist when they're trying to be precise with your teeth?
That's a good point, right? You've got to take a wild chance that the person isn't out of their fucking mind. If you're going to dose them up with nitrous, I don't know what it feels like. Is that the same thing with whippets?
Oh, we can find out real quick.
It is, it's medical grade.
We have them here. Yeah, Ari did whippets on the show. We were like, What are you doing? I was like, Is this even legal?
No.
He bought them somewhere like you could buy whippets.
You could buy it for those machines, for the whipped cream.
For whipped cream, Yeah, it's just whipped cream.
That's what they call it. Yeah, they call them whippets, yeah, but I thought for whipped cream, you get like a large one.
Well, that was just when I worked in a restaurant.
Well, the container's large, but then you unscrew the top and it's just a little nitrous thing.
Dude, I worked at a Newport creamery in Massachusetts and everybody did whippets. I'm pretty sure I did it once, I must have done it once. I was like 15, 15, 16. I think I worked there and people would just go back there and get blasted off of whippets.
How did Augie react to it?
He just started laughing, like, couldn't stop laughing, and threw his head back. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. that's what he said. It was like, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Norman hated it, Norman did it. He's like, Fuck this, this is terrible, I feel awful.
I feel like I died, I don't like it at all. He was not interested seeing Norman, I was like, I'm not doing it if he's reacting like that.
Not my thing.
It's just, and then we looked up all the possible things that could happen to him, like, Oh, there's a lot, there's a lot of things that could go wrong.
It fries your brain cells, too.
Well, they said, that's a thing with amyl nitrate, you know, amyl nitrate is poppers. And apparently it's big in the gay community, with gay dudes who like to party. I don't know if it's still, but at one point in time it is.
We love it.
They would take amyl nitrate, and somehow or another, it helped them relax during sex, something I don't remember, what the. But apparently amyl nitrate's really bad for you, your immune system destroys you, like, it's really bad.
It gives you brain damage, you know, it doesn't seem like. You know there's some drugs that people will defend. You know they'll talk about the beauty of heroin. Like, there's no one out there defending Amyl Nitrate, No one's like, it's the shit.
Like, it's changed my life. Started doing Amyl got my fucking garage cleaned. At least, people who do speed, they get things done, you know, like people who do speed, they don't want to fucking organize the garage.
Putting shelves up and stuff, cleaning everything.
I need that.
Yeah, that's an adderall thing. apparently people do adderall and they start cleaning shit, organizing.
Not my thing.
Yeah, have you talked with Adderall at all?
A couple times.
What about you? No, they had me on Ritalin when I was a kid.
Oh, that figures everything out all the time.
Every day.
Ritalin's an upper right or downer, I mean.
I think it's an upper.
Well, it's an upper. But supposedly back then they said that if you had add, it brings you down, like it's supposed to mellow you out. But I hated it.
You know, who talked about that is Henry Rollins, talked about it. When he was a kid, they put him on that, he was like five years old, they had him on it.
He was just all the time like, fucking grrrrr. And the way he describes it, it's like, Oh, when you see Henry. Like, he's so intense, like everything about him is intense, even the things he enjoys, like when he talks about listening to records, he's so intense.
It's like they just cranked his fucking brain up to ten when he was a little kid, which is wild. Because you can, kind of, I mean, it's not a thing to do, I'm not saying you should do it.
But what I'm saying is, you can manipulate a child's mind with those things in a way like you have to be. You're changing their reality, right? You're changing the way they experience things. That's got to change their view of life overall in general, like if your view of life overall, like, you know how stoners are.
Some stoners, it's abusive, they're abusive. They're so high all the time that they're just like not making sense, they'll like, never make any sense. Like, if you're doing that all the time when you're like, 14, 15, 16, which some kids do.
That shit's terrible for you, it doesn't prepare you for life at all, like being a fucking full timer when you're like, 14, like Whoa.
Reality is hard enough. You're trying to figure out what the fuck is life, what is a grown up, what is a job like?
When does this start? when does this? I need to get a job thing start. Do you remember that feeling like the high school? feeling like, when do I need to be able to take care of myself?
Terrifying, terrifying feeling. And nobody prepares you for it. Nobody prepares you for this idea that you're going to have to take care of yourself. You're like, what?
What?
I have to pay my own bills, I have to get a job. What do I do?
I guess I got to go to college, I got to go to college, remember those days? I can remember days like when I would work like three different kind of jobs. I'd like deliver newspapers, drive limos, and I would do, you know, occasionally I'd do construction.
If something came up, I could get away with doing it during the day, but I was always tired. I hated those jobs, but I was like, Fuck, what do I do like?
I was trying to figure out what to do and if stand up, if I didn't find stand up. Oh my god, I've been so fucked. I would have been so fucked. I would have been so fucked because my brain was not wired for jobs. You know, some people can do it.
Some people are awesome at it, some people they lock into a career and they're very happy. But for whatever it was like with my childhood man, my childhood was just too chaotic. I did not have any desire to be like in any sort of order where I'm, like, locked in.
My parents just kind of let me out of the house, go have fun and like, kids like that have zero desire for order. Like, you're out there wilding with these other fucking 10-year-olds out in the street, lighting buildings on fire accidentally and finding fireworks. And we did wild shit when we were kids.
Totally, that does not prepare you for an office job that prepares you for sitting in class. Going fuck, I got to get out of here, dude, my kid told me on TikTok. She found this thing that was explaining how our educational system was developed.
And I was like, What you got this on TikTok, what did you find out? And she was like. It was developed to turn people who are like these rural people into factory workers. Like they were literally like gearing education when they started public education, to, like, prepare these like wild folk and put them in factories.
If you think about like the kind of people that were alive, that were living in. Like rural Columbus, Ohio, like outside of Columbus, where you guys are from in, like the 1900s.
Yeah.
What were those people, like the farm, people, like the people that were basically just like the pioneers? They just stopped and they developed a small town.
And in, like, 1903, if you're in that fucking town and they want to take one of those people and turn them into an office worker.
Fuck.
The Youngstown was the number one steel producing city in the world through the like 30s, 40s, 50s. And then one Monday, it all closed. So like everything that even it was built around was fucked completely, like everything that their work ethic, everything was. Just always go to high school and then you work in the steel mill, your dad worked in the steel mill.
His dad.
How old were you when this was going down?
It was before I was born, but the dilapidation that it left left this. Well, you can't. There was no like. You can go chase your dreams, you can move to L.A. or New York, like, that's all stuff that you had to like. Find out on your own.
Nobody, no teacher, was like, you could do anything, it was. It was bleak, yeah.
Isn't that horrible? It's such a bad vibe, it's such a bad vibe for a child to grow up in that kind of a shattered dream vibe. Like a Detroit, Michigan, after the factories got pulled out of there, like that Flint, Michigan documentary that Michael Moore did, Roger and Me is amazing, it's amazing.
That, to me, that's his best work. Because that was a young Roger who was trying to, like, figure out, like, what the fuck was going on to this place where he was from? And so it was so real, and he was so young in it, it was. It was really like, what year was Roger and me?
89.
92.
93.
Pull it up, Jamie 89. It's 89..
As you're talking about that, I looked up something I tried, typed in What public education developed for factory workers? People have been asking this question for a few years. Hidden behind a Washington Post thing, it says No, they're not modeled after factories. Here's why.
It started, apparently, it came from this, says. It came from a 2009 book called Weapons of Mass Instruction. And then it was echoed by someone in New York Times.
Oh, okay, so it's a false narrative, or is it so? How was it designed? was it designed? It seemed like it was designed for structure and to get people to pay attention to rules.
This article says that that article is saying that they modeled the system after Prussia's. The United States adopted Prussia's school system. But that then goes and says that Prussia was not a highly industrialized country. Interesting during that time period. So the accuracy of it seems a little off is kind of what I'm getting at.
Interesting, So I wonder, So it hits it? Sorry, it says, here he is. In 2012, the American education model was actually copied from the 18th century Prussian model, designed to create docile subjects and factory workers.
For what it's worth. Prussia was not highly industrialized when Frederick the Great formalized his education system in the late 1700s. Very few places in the world were back then, training future factory workers. Docile or not, was not really the point.
Nevertheless, industrialization is often touted as both the model and the rationale for public education system, past and present. And, by extension, it's part of a narrative that now contends that schools are no longer equipped to address the needs of a post-industrial world.
I looked it up because I've seen some other people and I've got to started doing it too. When I see something crazy on TikTok, that seems like a wild fact, I'm like, Holy shit.
You got to look it up.
That's the TikTok filter.
There's no one who's checking on TikTok.
TikTok's fun, but man, half the shit. You ever watch that guy where it's this guy with the beard and he's a little bit bigger. Check this video. We need to find this person.
You like he's pretty.
I haven't seen him.
But he like shows like Karen's or racist people, and they hunt them down faster than any police. Like there was a guy in L..A. the Tesla guy who was running out, hitting people with their cars with baseball bats, and they called him the Tesla terrorist. And they captured that guy faster than the police. Just from TikTok.
That's amazing. What was this guy's motivation for attacking people with Tesla?
He's attacked like, I think it was like 10 people over the last three years. It's like women, everyone. And there's videos of him running out of the Tesla, going out like out in control.
So he's in a Tesla, yeah.
It's not like he's attacking people only in Teslas. No, no, no.
He was in the Tesla, they call him the Tesla terrorist.
So he just pulls over and starts beating up people, beating up people, random people.
Random people. He's all amped up, like you could tell, the guy's just juiced.
He's on Adderall, bro.
Another article said he was selling steroids.
That he was selling steroids, so he's getting roided up and beating people with bats randomly. Wow, holy fuck man.
He's selling steroids.
Targeted at least six motorists. Is now selling steroids or was selling steroids? What the fuck I can't read?
Charges were filed Tuesday. Gets a man caught on video attacking drivers in Los Angeles with a metal pole. Prosecutors also revealed that Nathaniel Rademach had a previous road rage arrest in which steroids were allegedly found in his car. Rademach, 36, pleaded not guilty.
Tuesday to four counts of assault by means of force to produce great bodily injury, four counts of criminal threats and one felony count of vandalism.
Holy shit, dude.
This video right here. He just comes out.
Oh my god.
If you haven't seen the video, you should watch it.
I don't even want to see it. Just fucking crazy people, God damn.
You ever see cart narks? what's that? where the people don't put their cart back at the grocery store? That's hilarious. I found one the other day.
They literally did it to perry from windy City heat. Have you ever seen that?
No, but it makes sense.
It's believable that Perry literally didn't put his cart away.
And that he's driving with a mask on, too.
And he gets so mad, so it literally brings Perry, and the guy doesn't even know it's Perry, so Perry's being Perry.
Would you like a magnet instead?
Now, Sir, get your fucking shirt off my fucking car.
It goes on and on. I've been like this for a long time, it's so funny.
Oh my god.
He's wearing a Perry Caramello live shirt.
But very few people know what that is. Look, sir.
But the ones that do, it's unbelievable.
It's hilarious that he narked on himself wearing his own shirt. Yeah, essentially, he narked on himself. He's wearing a mask, he gets away free.
Without that, he gets away free.
Yeah, he loses his mind. In the end, he leaves a voicemail. Oh no, because there's a number on the cart nark thing.
What is your thought? I never watched Windy City heat. Why? Yeah, I was like, it's too mean.
No, he wanted that, that's what he wanted.
I know, but he's an insane person. Yeah, do you think you could do that today? Do you think the same people involved? do you think Jimmy Kimmel could be involved at some point?
Hell, no, none of them would be involved. Not Carson Daly isn't that crazy.
Not any of them.
Isn't that crazy? Because that's what kind of got him to dance, that kind of comedy, man show comedy for Kimmel.
Yeah.
It's funny that they could never do that.
Bobcat wouldn't do it.
Bobcat directed it, Bobcat might still do it.
And cook's in there.
Bobcat might still do it, Bobcat's crazy.
Bobcat has this ongoing feud with Seinfeld. It's the strangest thing, and I don't understand why. I mean, I don't know either. I know Bobcat much better than I know Seinfeld.
I don't know Seinfeld at all.
What's the beef?
I don't think I've ever met him. Nope, I don't think I've ever met him. Maybe I did way, way, way back in the day I went to see him live when I was 19..
I don't know what their beef is, they have some sort of a beef, and so they talk shit to each other all the time. That's hilarious.
I had to follow Seinfeld at the comedy store, toughest follow I ever had in my entire life. Oh, I'm sure, dude, because all he did was talk about how Mitzi, the owner.
Oh, that's right.
Told him he wasn't funny the last time he was there, that's right.
You were there for that set.
Crushing, he buried me with a shovel. Nothing like it ever, because he's telling them the whole story. So even if the people didn't know how big of a deal it was.
He told them This lady told me I wasn't funny. Wonder how she's doing now all this stuff, and she's like, everyone knows she's sick and old.
I bought a house above her house so that she could see me driving a different car all the time. I'd beep as I went by.
Still not funny.
I mean, he's destroying, destroying. It was like, evil, cool fucking Seinfeld.
Oh, that's hilarious, evil, cool, Seinfeld.
I was buried with a shovel.
70 of the people left the room, the other 30 were literally texting their family. I just saw Seinfeld make his return to the comedy store that he hasn't been here in 35 years, he just told the whole story I'm performing.
I remember a fruit fly, the only laugh I got that set was from a door guy or whatever. Because a fruit fly went in front of me real slow in the lights and it was all lit up, I go, even the fruit fly is getting out of here.
But that is the craziness of Mitzi Shore. How could she say no to Jerry Seinfeld?
He was already a solid comic.
And that's the thing that they say. Is that when you used to tell Mitzi all this guy's a big deal from New York? That she'd be like, Well, I'll see for myself.
Dude, the guy who used to book the store told me, it's kind of better if you start off at the store. Mitzi knows you're already a headliner, so she's going to make you a non-paid regular. So I became a non-paid regular. I couldn't just become a paid regular, I had to do time as a non-paid. Which you go on super late at night.
She didn't give a fuck about your credits. She almost hurt you. If you came with credits, she'd be like, Oh, he already thinks he knows everything.
And that's the vibe, and it makes you wonder, was part of her brilliant madness. Knowing that the way to bring out the most in Seinfeld was to do that, perhaps to tell him he wasn't funny.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She was very outspoken about it to my face, Seinfeld said. It's funny because she said to me. She said, You know, you're the kind of person that needs someone to step on you, and I'm going to be that person. I have to admit she was right.
I needed that person, she was that person, and it really fueled me. Wow, you were right. Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah.
That is crazy. Yeah, I thought you were just joking around, uh-uh.
She's.
Did you know that?
No, I'd never seen that.
That's so wild that you guessed that.
Yeah.
That she would actually say that, well, she was, and that she said it to him back then. So he must have already been killing it back then. Like, what year was this?
1980.
So I think I saw him in....
It must have been like 86 or 87.
I saw him in Boston at the Paradise Theater, which was like the big theater that was connected to Stitch's Comedy Club. So Stitch's was like a little tiny, tight little box. It was a great room, and next door was the bigger show where the big headliners would come.
And I took my girlfriend to see Seinfeld. I wasn't even old enough to drink yet, and I was like, This is wild, that's Jerry Seinfeld, Wow.
And that's where I got the idea of asking questions to the audience, like letting the audience just yell out questions. Because he did that, and I saw him do that, I'm like, Oh, this is probably how he writes.
Because at that time I was already thinking about doing stand-up. Wow. But I was like, Oh, he's thinking this is how he writes. And the funny thing is, people throw a thing at him off the cuff because he's already murdering for an hour.
It was really impressive, super clean. But like perfect jokes, they were perfect jokes. Everything was like the setup, the punchline, the fucking way he handled himself on stage. I was like, Wow.
Those guys are so intimidating. When you're starting out, like, you really need to go to an open mic night and watch people eat shit, you fucking need that, you need that when you're starting out.
Like, if you think you're going to play basketball and you go to the NBA for the first time, you're like, what the fuck, I can't move like that. I think that's the thing with everything.
People sucking helps in the beginning.
People sucking helps.
I remember that first night ever in a comedy club that I ever signed up for an open mic was at the comedy store. And I got like, number 12 on the lineup. And I'm like, man, here we go. And they weren't as good as I thought they were going to be. And I'm like, whoa, I think I have a chance.
This is crazy.
It's the very thing Richard Jennings said, that bad comedians inspire comedians to try. I don't remember exactly how he phrased it, but it was something to that extent, and he was so right. I remember thinking that at the time.
Like, if it wasn't for watching open micers, I would have probably chickened out. But you watch the open micers and you're like, Oh, they're just clumsy like me, right? Like, Okay, this is a thing you get good at, okay.
And then it became like, I thought you just were funny or you weren't funny, you know? I'm like, I'm kind of funny sometimes to my friends, like, how do I be funny to these people, right? But then you go to an open mic night and you realize, oh, this is like a thing that everyone's working on to get better.
Like, what the fuck is this thing? Yeah, like this weird mass hypnosis, this weird idea game you're playing with people.
The fact that you could do it for free always boggled my mind, like I was always all through high school. I'm like, how am I going to pay for college because I'm not getting a scholarship with my GPA?
When I was out, I was literally paying for college and owed these loans. Luckily, I dropped out fast so I didn't get too deep in the hole. But anyway, by the time, I realized, like, wait, you could just do these open mics. It's like free college this is, except it's for a specific career.
And you get to watch like, you'll get to watch Dave Chappelle pop in, Yeah, you'll get to watch, you know Damon Wayans will show up. You get to watch, you know, all these fucking comics. From other states that are in town, they want to do a spot at the store.
I mean, that's the first place I saw Schultz, that's the first place I saw Tim Dillon. I mean, all those guys who came from New York, they all want to do the store. So if you're working there, man, and you're doing open mics and then you get a fucking doorman job, holy shit, you had a free education.
You were there every day watching these killers work on their sets that they were going to do on Netflix. And you know, you're seeing it all evolve because you're seeing them Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, you're seeing like all these multiple sets. And so you get this just education of how it's pieced together. That is unavailable to anybody who doesn't hang around the clubs, right?
100%.
It's the only way you can get it like you cannot. There's not like a school you can go to make you a better stand-up comic, like there's, you know, you can learn things in regular school and you can apply them to stand-up comedy. But the only way to do stand-up comedy and learn how to do it is you have to do it. The fact that we have to do it in front of a crowd, like you can't even practice it.
There's nothing you could do by yourself, you know?
And even on the road, those other clubs don't run like the store. There's not 16 headliners in each room, you know what I mean? So if you're lucky, you might be able to maybe work at a place where there's one headliner coming in.
Probably straight into the green room, doing the shows and then probably leaving right afterwards.
Well, think about the show we did at the Vulcan. Think about the show where you got Hans Kim, and then you got David Lucas, and then you got Mark Norman. And then you got Ari Shaffir, then you got Shane Gillis, then you got you, then you got me. Mm-hmm, these are crazy shows, man, crazy shows.
They were so fucking fun.
It's been ridiculous.
Goddammit, it's a murder fest, too. From start to go. What makes me the happiest is watching the big pop that Ari gets.
Yeah.
When Ari goes on stage, he gets a giant pop. People go nuts. That special fucking pulled him out of the fire.
That was a beautiful, special man.
It's a perfect special, it's perfect. It's perfect the fact that he did it in front of candles and shit, and he had to relight all the candles.
And for him, to do that with full-blown AIDs is just incredible. Yeah, it's unbelievable.
Full-blown. Imagine if that was a real diagnosis?
You know, like, full-blown is such a street term for someone really being fucked up by AiDs. But it's like, Well, Tony, you've got full-blown AIDs. Damn it. If your doctor said that to you, what a disrespectful doctor to use the term full-blown AiDs bro, you got full-blown AIDs.
It'd be like, What kind of doctor did I get?
If he threw a bro at the front like that, that's even worse.
Yeah, it's the same. Dr. Redman I was going to diagnosis comes.
Bro.
Full-blown AIDS. Here's the good news. People don't really die of it anymore and they get all crazy treatments now they could actually reverse HIV.
People have been cured of it now. Yeah, like multiple people, it's really wild.
It's like, this medicine that's been really helping.
Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I've been the thing about. They had already come up with protease inhibitors and all these things that prevented people from getting really sick.
A fifth person is likely cured of HIV, and another is in long-term remission. One case involved a man with cancer who underwent a specialized stem cell transplant. the other involved a woman who received immune-boosting therapies as part of a clinical trial. So this is different results from different studies, so they're doing a couple of different methods.
And also, likely cured is a little bit of a term, right? Like, imagine being that guy's boyfriend, and he's like, Good news babe, I'm likely cured. Let's go to no condoms tonight.
They have another drug that you take now and it prevents you from getting HIV. It's like a blocker, it's like a go-crazy drug. It's like for gay guys, you just gave them the fucking tutu.
Give them that green light.
If you give them a fucking pill that they could take and you definitely won't get AIDs, oh my god. They're going to try so hard to get AIDs, they're going to go hard.
I think about how those must be getting thrown around like parade candy on Santa Monica Boulevard.
Yeah, I mean, what a miracle.
Yeah.
Science Why wouldn't you? That's the good side of pharmaceutical drugs, right? Everybody wants to talk about the bad side, but you know?
Yeah, you can buttfuck and not get Aids.
Boner pills There's a lot of different things that came out, remember the fucking gas station pills, red pan?
I got burned out, I think I did damage.
Red Pan was taking these fucking who knows what bathtub they were mixed up in. He would take these boner pills that he would buy at the gas station, and apparently they're insane. And I think they had steroids in them. Because one time you got a little bit of road rage.
Yeah, and sometimes I felt like I was about to pass out, like I was tripping, like seeing trails and stuff. What's that? I think it was like blood pressure.
Bro, it could be everything, everything and anything. They just mixed them up and called it rhino, right? Remember the names?
Yeah.
Black Rhino.
It had a hologram of a rhinoceros. Yes, and I collected the containers that they came in because they were like trading cards, and I had like 30 of them. But when I moved to Texas, I was like, I have to throw those away.
What am I doing with them?
You should have saved them.
I just took photos of them.
Oh, you should have saved them, they were so stupid. But it was like, what a genius idea. Because you're only selling a couple pills, but you're selling it for, like, what a prescription you really should be, so you have this crazy markup.
And then, on top of that fuck, there's no one telling you there's no FDA involved in these transactions. You're basically selling like vitamin B, right, you know? Like you can kind of just, you know, put those up for sale until they come after you.
And then they test them and find out there was all sorts of stuff in there, Viagra and Cialis and steroids. There was like different mixtures.
And they got in trouble. That's when they made a new LLC, and that's what the Rhino 1, Rhino 2, Rhino 3 was. No, like, seriously.
No, they kept getting busted. It was like an open secret. I remember you were the detective of all this. It was hilarious. There were steroids in them, too.
And weren't there? Some of them had amphetamines.
Yep, and that's how John Jones supposedly is. That's how he got caught with steroids, but it ended up being a boner pill, yeah.
Remember back in the day, it was John Jones or somebody?
Yeah, I think, John, there was something along those lines in that story.
But I thought they were real boner pills. I don't think he was just taking them. But the thing is, if you're getting them online, who the fuck knows who's cooking these things up, bro? Who knows who's making these things? You're trusting your? I mean, anything that calls itself like Rhino 5.
Like Rhino 5.
It's hilarious, but it would make sense. It sounds like a good mixture, a little bit of steroids, a little bit of speed.
Cialis mixed with Viagra?
Like, who's pumping gas? Needing a fuck, bro? I got the fuck. I'm so horny from these fumes. I need some boner pills, I need to get going.
Have you guys seen the story of this person who worked for the White House? They were in charge of, like, something in the nuclear program. It's a trans woman who's bald, has a beard and a mustache, and is apparently a kleptomaniac. It is the wildest story. They caught her stealing a bag.
I should say, Is it he, like, he has a mustache? Stealing? Isn't his name, Sam? I don't want to misgender.
I'm not sure if it's like, non-binary, whatever, whatever it is, it's a thief. it's a fucking thief. It's a fucking terrible thief.
And then there was a woman who recently saw photos of this Sam person. And she is like, I think she's a designer. And she had very specific, one-of-a-kind clothing that had gotten stolen.
Oh, Jesus.
What the hell?
Yeah, it's playing with rules, that's what that person's doing, that person with the beard and the shaved head and lipstick and everything. they're playing with the rules.
I'll tell you, there's not enough boner pills in the world.
So this person Sam has been stealing women's luggage, like not just one, but they've caught multiple times this person Sam on video stealing luggage. And this woman who said from 2018, see if you can find that story, the story of this woman who was a designer from 2018..
Yeah, there it is.
So she had these very specific pieces that were missing.
This person who works for the fucking White House, what's he do at the White House? And she's like, no way, well, she's he. They are fired, they're fired from the White House.
What did they do?
Something with the nuclear department?
Department of Energy.
Yeah.
Okay. Former Department of Energy official Sam Brinton had been contained in her luggage that she reported missing in 2018 at the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. And then you see this person, so she's a Houston-based Tanzanian fashion designer. How do you say her name?
Asya Kamsen, Asya Kamsen. So she saw her fucking clothing, that's one-of-a-kind clothing that she designed, and she's seeing this person who stole it, who works for the fucking White House. Two separate airports.
And notice he appeared to be wearing her clothes. In several photos, Kamsen said she had packed the same clothes in a bag that vanished back in 2018. So this person's been doing this forever, just stealing girls clothes from the airport and then trying them on when they get home. There's a thing called autogynephilia.
And it's men who are turned on by dressing like women, but they're heterosexual, but they're turned on by dressing like women. They like to dress and maybe even behave like a woman and they get aroused by it. It's like Jordan Peterson talked about it.
He said It's always been a part of the psychology literature. It's like a reoccurring thing that exists with men, that there's been men forever who like to dress up like women. And it gets them sexually aroused. And now they're in the same category as people that identify with being a woman. I'm a legitimate trans person and I know a lot of them, I know a lot of them now.
There's some that you go, like, if you ever meet Blair White, you go, okay, that's 100 correct. Whatever you're doing is correct. She seems like a woman, Wow, look at that.
See, this is the lady's clothes. Oh, isn't that crazy? That is so crazy.
Wow, it's different.
But he gets it. There's a kink, No, because it's folded over on the right side. see how it's folded over.
Well, the pattern in the –.
It's a different pattern. Yeah, in the middle. Oh, you're right, yeah.
Huh.
Are you sure it's not folded over? See, because you see the right side of his thing, you see how it's the black, you see the inner lining.
Different part. Well, they wear it better.
Yeah, but you see well, this Sam person has the narrowest fucking shoulders for what appears to be a biological male.
He's like, got it folded over so it'll fit on his shoulders, like, I think if he spread it out, it might like, fall over one shoulder. That doesn't seem like the same picture.
Wow, it's very similar.
Can you imagine?
Well, it could also just be she had multiple pieces, and you show photos of one of her pieces is similar to the other one that he was wearing. But it makes sense. I mean, if the person's been busted more than once, stealing chicks clothes, but that's like a kink thing, man. That's not a poor person that needs clothing, that's not a person in desperation trying to feed their family.
That's a kink, that person's kinky. They like to steal women's clothes and then put them on. Maybe they're also good at energy, maybe.
Maybe, but you can't hire them just because they like to dress like a woman.
Oh my goodness.
You see what I'm saying, you can't do that like, that's crazy, and this is what you get when you go fishing for crazy. Can you imagine you can't just hire someone because they like to dress like a woman?
Then not be stealing luggage and be good at their job. Wow.
Good face, good face on.
Yeah, beautiful face.
Yeah, unbelievably stunning.
Can you imagine that being your type like, looking for that? Like? I've always wanted a woman with a shaved head and a goatee with a lot of lipstick?
I want someone who I can fucking watch football with. Let's go, fucking, let's go.
Yeah.
It's just the whole thing is so odd.
Right, like, how does that person really beat out the other people for that job, right? did they really go through the people's resumes?
It's like the bit I'm doing about the teacher from Washington State or from Vancouver that has a giant fake tits.
Oh yeah.
Somewhere in Canada.
Did you see that picture? Yeah, the picture of him in normal when he's not at work.
When he's not at work, he dresses like a regular guy.
Yeah.
He's running a clinger, yeah, from mash. clinger from mash. Remember? mm-hmm.
Clinger dressed up like a woman. That was his try to get out of Vietnam, and they said, Fuck you, you're going to dress like a woman in Vietnam. He's always trying to get like kicked out of the army, and the way he would try to get kicked out is try to dress like a woman.
Yeah.
And they just let him do it and they made him dress like a man, but like, it never worked. The point is like, same with this person, like, that's what they're doing, they're pulling a clinger.
Yeah, my favorite episode of South Park of all time Lemmy Winks is when Mr. Garrison finds out that. You can get a lot of money if you get fired for doing gay stuff.
He keeps trying to outdo himself and be gayer and gayer, and the people keep talking about how brave he is. And then, finally, he brings in Mr. Slave and he shoves a gerbil up Mr. Slave's ass, and the whole episode turns into this adventure of the Gerbil. Because the rectum closed.
Oh yes, the Gerbil has to make his way all the way through the mouth.
Oh my God, I saw that.
Dude, this came out when I was a senior in high school and just started smoking marijuana, like I just started smoking weed. And two weeks later, this episode came out and I....
Oh my God, I forgot how good this episode is.
Was dead. The music is crazy.
These fucking songs, did you see the live South Park concert? they redid this live, Oh my God.
Dude, let me.
I forgot how funny that episode was.
Oh my god.
They have so many bangers, dude, so many bangers over the years. Yeah, like there's not another show like it and the fact that it's still going strong.
Still going strong. You can't do it anywhere else. Like even Comedy Central. If you try to bring a show like that to Comedy Central, they'd be like, no fucking way. But with South Park, go ahead.
It is the 800-pound gorilla of cable TV. It's like the one thing that no one can fuck with. They go so hard, they go so hard.
I saw a video of him using his kid to do the Canadian impressions, the Megan and.
Yeah, oh, yeah, Ike. He uses his own little kid. And he was like whispering in her ear, like, what to say? So, like, he has her cussing and stuff, and he's like cracking up while holding it.
It's amazing.
Don't kick the baby, good job.
Let's try one more like that.
I love you too, big brother.
I love you too, big brother, oh.
Oh.
Big brother.
That's cute, that's adorable.
It's better when they're doing the cussing ones, though these ones are cute, that's a lot.
That's awesome.
It's funny.
They're national treasures, those guys are national treasures, They really are. They're just to advance comedy. It's so awesome.
They let you be free to laugh at the most ridiculous shit. It's like, That's important today, it really is, it's important today, like, God damn, people are so crazy.
It's such a wild time where people are getting so upset about so many different things. Like, it's like a fever pitch out there. Whether it's Ukraine and Russia, or Covid or fucking the climate, it's like, Whoo?
Everybody's like, right there all the time, like, Wah.
Right?
We need to chill the fuck out as a nation.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, it's wild, man.
It is wild, the wildest time I could ever remember. Like, gearing up for this 2024 election. I'm fucking terrified, like, what is that going to be like?
What the fuck is that going to be like?
DeSantis just got control over Disney.
How does that work?
I'm not exactly sure.
Did he just score a coup on Disney? Yep.
It's the land they own.
What?
Yep.
What does that mean?
I remember reading this a few months ago when it first started happening. It has to do with the water rights and stuff because it goes through that county. They've portioned off that section where Disney World is and made it separate from Orange County.
Well, they gave them crazy, crazy, crazy tax breaks back in the day to draw tourism in. Yeah, so now he can charge them because they're supposedly woke and, you know, anti-desantis, so he's like, screw it, now, you guys can pay your fair share.
It's so weird how so many people that are involved in show business go that route. So many people it's like they feel compelled. You know? Like people that wouldn't have done it five or six years ago, wouldn't have gone along with it, or are going along with it now.
Right?
They have to play the game.
It's weird, it's weird to watch because I don't think it's representative of most people's sensibilities. I think it's a very small group of very pushy people, there's enough of them because there's a lot of people, there's a lot of us.
300 and fucking whatever million you're going to get enough that are really into it and really noisy.
What do regular people think, the people of the world that don't have to pretend that they agree with something or disagree with something? Most people are very confused by what's going on. Most regular people are very frustrated and confused by someone like that who's working for the White House. Like, how?
How did that person get in there? Did that person get in there just because they dress like that? Because I think they did? Yeah, I think they did.
Right?
I think that's how goofy they are. Did you see the White House press secretary lady? The other day? She was touting all the different minorities and all the different people of, you know, all the different women? How many women work for the White House? Now? A record number of people in the LBGTQ community work in the White House.
Like all these things that, okay, how are they doing? Yeah, how's this working? right? This doesn't seem like it's working that well.
Like, we don't care, like that's not what most people care about. And if you're lesbian and you're great at your job, awesome, if you're gay and you're great at your job, awesome. But that shouldn't be all we're hearing about.
Right, shouldn't be. All we're hearing about is your identity, the identity politics thing? Like, as if somehow or another doing that is great for everybody. Do you think about that when you look for anything good?
Do you think about, like, Well, I hope the staffing there is very diverse.
Whoever the fuck is, there is the best at whatever the fuck they do, that's what you're thinking about.
Right, is that what they would want their doctor to walk in looking like?
Exactly, I saw like there was like an internet meme about that.
About, you know, like, what do you say when you know your house is on fire? Are you hoping the firefighting team is diverse that are coming to save you? There's been a few of these, but they're like, Yeah, like, that's not what you want.
You want diversity because you want people to all have an opportunity to do things. You want it, but you don't want to force it. Like, you can't put people in a position that shouldn't be in the position. Just because of the color of their skin or where they were born, that's crazy.
And if there's like a real problem with people of one group or another group not getting the opportunities, then we should address that, because that's the real problem. Everybody's at each other's throats for the wrong things when the real things are. You have these massive communities of disenfranchised people, like Youngstown, like where you grew up, like Detroit, like Baltimore.
And we just sent how many billions of dollars to Ukraine. Did we always have that money laying around?
It's crazy.
Okay, but whether or not you agree that we should support Ukraine or not, I don't understand it. It scares the shit out of me. But if you had all that money laying around, you know how many things you could have fixed. Like, the real problem is people not getting the same like situation to grow up in, not getting a situation that's not filled with violence and drugs and gangs and chaos and shit.
But no one's trying to fix that, like, if you want to fix the way people think about each other. If everybody had, like, a decent chance, pretty much everybody had a decent chance, like the whole country, you'd have way less problems. People are fucked from the jump.
And no one's doing anything to stop that, no one's doing anything to try to help. That's the real problem in this country. It's not like most people don't give a fuck who you are.
They don't. They just like you to be good at what you do, and they like you to be fun to be around. We all find each other's groove, like, Oh, this is Mike, he's a fucking weirdo, but he's cool about this, and we, you know, we all find our groove with each other. You know, how many comics do we know that are gay? Nobody gives a shit.
How many comics do we know that are of every ethnicity, every race? When you're hanging around with comics? It's just who's funny, it's just who's good, who's cool to hang with. Nobody gives a fuck about that. That should be the whole world.
That should be the whole world. I don't know if you get there by forcing people to get hired because they're a certain race, or a certain gender, or a certain anything. To the point where all these people have the same sort of crack at it. So then it just becomes a meritocracy, like a real meritocracy, because that's the argument against it.
It's like, it's not a meritocracy if people experience racism or sexism. Or if people grow up, you know, disenfranchised, and they grow up in bad areas like they deserve. Like, a little bit of an extra help, maybe they should be hired first. This is the way, that's the thought process behind it, but I think that encourages someone who's not as good to succeed.
And I don't think that's good for anybody. I think the best people should succeed, we just have to figure out how to make that fair, but the best people should succeed in everything. That's the way we get better at stuff.
That's it.
The NFL, I'm sure you probably know about this, but they have a very, very interesting thing that they're doing. Where you literally get better. What is it? Draft picks or something based on how many Black coaches you have? So you can literally reconstruct your team, you can build it stronger.
Is it draft picks or is it a bigger salary cap or something? It's wild.
The salary cap is wild.
The Saudis would just come in. We have an idea, everybody a billion dollars, just fucking buy up. I think those guys have more money than we could possibly comprehend.
They're doing it with golf, that L.i.V.
It seems to be working.
Yep.
Is it no Jamie Shakey, shakey?
Tell me, Jamie.
What's the definition of working, I guess?
Are they having successful events?
They're just starting.
That's the definition of a successful event.
Oh, now we're cutting hairs, so you tell me, what's a successful event?
They just had their first event of the year.
The response online is, people aren't that into watching. It was on the CW, I think in the United States, so it's a little tough to find that in the first place. I don't get it.
It's aired a way different way than the air of PGA Golf, it's aired to everybody, you see all the shots at the same time.
Everyone's playing at once, which is way different, especially if you watch the Full Swing show that just started on Netflix. People who don't really know it that well, there is a lot of money in there though, that's for sure.
Wow.
So that's successful for those people.
That's interesting, so professional pool is encountering a little bit of a renaissance. It's very interesting. There's a few companies that are putting on these events, like Predators putting on these events and Matchroom Pool, they're streaming them live online.
And it's becoming successful again, Pool because they're streaming them online, people are into it again.
And they're doing the world Championships this weekend from the Rio Nice.
I'm going to try to stop it on Friday and check it out.
Did you see the guy in East Palestine that talks like Mickey mouse now?
Yeah, I did, I was just swallowing a true brain.
What's that?
It's a nootropic, do you want to try it?
Yeah.
Dude was on my podcast once a doctor, and he came up with this stuff.
Is it orange flavor? He was a doctor. Was he a doctor?
I don't want to give anybody extra titles. You want to try one?
Want to get smarter? No, no, no.
Stay where you're at, yeah.
Doesn't make you smarter, helps your memory a little bit, it's good for verbal memory. Sometimes the Mary Jane fucks with the mind.
That's delicious.
It's good, right? It's nice, a little liquid, a little shot, I like it.
It's like a snow cone.
There could be multiple videos of multiple people with that.
It could be his own reaction to it, he got a very high dose, it could be there's more people, they're not talking about it.
It says there's more people.
More people?
That's what this article says. They're going to go check door to door.
Oh, they're sending the CDC in.
Bro, this is very scary stuff. yeah, very scary stuff.
Youngstown's 20 minutes from there and they just call it East Palestine. They don't say it's 45 minutes away from Pittsburgh or 45 minutes away from Cleveland. They just call it East Palestine.
It's getting into Youngstown, too.
Oh yeah.
It's getting into everywhere, right?
Pittsburgh's really close, Columbus is not far away.
Dude, that's so scary. Did you see the dead deer that they've been finding? This dude took video. He was down by the river. Or this creek, or whatever it is, it's just fucking completely polluted.
You saw rocks in it, you see big oil slicks bowl up. He found three dead deer really close to each other.
That's where it is on the map.
There's East Palestine. Wow, Youngstown's right there, dude. Oh my god, Pittsburgh's right there.
Are those videos of it raining in Ohio, where it was like, foam, is that fake?
I don't know, do you see that? I see snow and all the stuff on the ground?
It's like foaming rain.
Bro.
What's in those clouds now?
Can you imagine? And that's a cloudy place, they literally have the lake effect there, so the precipitation, that's where it's always cloudy. Grace guys, always.
Oh, my God, it's sitting above you. Yep, is it? Does it dissipate?
Oh my God, the poison that gets into the air.
Goes to Pittsburgh.
Yeah, where does it go like if it really hovers over you, like holy shit, and comes down when it rains, what the fuck?
The video, that I don't know if it's real, showed a man outside and when it was raining, it just seemed like it was suds. And so that's not normal. I don't know if it's a real video, it's TikTok.
Wouldn't you think that whatever the smoke is like, whatever the particles are, they would be too heavy to just sit in the clouds? Wouldn't you think that they would fall to the ground?
I don't know.
Jamie, you're smarter than us. What do you think would happen like if chemicals were burned and they went into the clouds? would they stay in the clouds?
I think back to the movies of like, The Dirty Waters just came out, where they're looking into. Like, you know, chemical companies and people getting fucked up, and there's giant lawsuits that go on forever. Erin Brockovich's thing, I think, was a similar situation, people getting fucked up from some chemical company.
Right?
Repeat Why would this one be different, honestly?
No, I think it is. What I'm asking is, do you think that when they burn the chemicals, that they stay in the clouds? Does that make any sense?
I don't think they're going to tell us and explain it to us. Simple people, you know, some people might know.
What a mad scramble. And did you see that? People were trying to blame Trump because of deregulation? But it turns out that whatever deregulation he passed wouldn't have applied to this and also wasn't instituted. It never really went through.
They try to blame him for everything.
Is that true? Make sure that's true. How?
If anybody can, you can, Jamie. What is the question?
Was the deregulation by Trump?
Yes, was Trump-era deregulation responsible for the crash? Because I think it was not.
I don't know, yeah, I heard that it was about the penalties for the company, not even the train. Oh, really, that's what I had understood, what deregulation was about.
Oh, really.
The train was going to happen anyway. Remember, we looked up, it was like 1,700 a year.
So the deregulation was just basically like giving money to the corporations or letting them pay less money.
I don't know, I'm just like, first thing, it says. Washington Post analysis So far, Trump's rollback of regulations can't be blamed for the train wreck.
There you go, and that's Washington Post, so if that's Washington Post, see. NTSB chair contradicts post that wrongly claimed Trump to blame for Ohio train wreck. But that's a thing that people do immediately, whenever there's something fucked up, they immediately point at Trump.
He did it, he did it, but the problem with that is when you say he did it. A lot of people hear, Oh, he did it, and then how many people hear the follow-up, how many people hear? No, he didn't do it, and this is actually what happened.
I bet it's probably like 60-40.
Right, yeah, I bet 40 find out that it wasn't true.
This Trump article says Buttigieg calls on Trump to back reversing deregulation in wake of train derailment. They're saying it comes from this letter.
Well, maybe he's correct, let's read what he has to say. Both things could be true, right? What could be true is that the deregulation is bad, and what also could be true is that Trump wasn't responsible for this particular crash.
Both things could be true. This is one thing he can do to express support for reversing the deregulation that happened on his watch. I heard him say he had nothing to do with it, even though it was in his administration. So if he had nothing to do with it. And they did it in his administration against his will. Maybe he can come out and say that he supports us moving in a different direction. That seems very reasonable, doesn't it?
White House has blamed Republican lawmakers in the Trump administration for lax railway and environmental regulations in the aftermath of the derailment. White House has pointed to a 2021 letter from the Republican senators to the Federal Railroad Administration urging the agency to expand the use of automated track inspection. And pointed to a Republican study committee proposal to cut to government funding for to address chemical spills.
Hmm.
That's a weird way. The proposal to cut to government funding, I think it's just a typo there. Additionally, political report of the Trump administration rolled back several safety measures for railways, including regular safety audits and Obama era rule that required faster brakes on trains carrying flammable materials. Dude, how about the fastest brakes?
Yeah, it's containing flammable materials. How about the fastest fucking brakes you can make? But this, that's a true thing, though, that this particular rail that that thing happened on was not set up for transferring hazardous waste, right? or hazardous materials. Isn't that true?
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