#2001 - Gabriel Iglesias

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Finally, you're here, finally.

Finally.

You're one of the most requested guys ever. I was like, I gotta see him somewhere, I gotta run into him. We'll make it happen, so we made it happen. Excited to see you, brother.

It's a pleasure, finally, I mean, we've run in so many similar circles for so many years.

We ran into each other at the Canelo fight.

Yeah, yeah, but I mean, God, I've been seeing you for 20 years, yeah.

Well, you were always the hero of the Ice House. We'd go down to the Ice House. How the fuck does he sell out so many shows Gabriel's doing, like a two in the afternoon show, a four p..m. show?

The most I ever did in one day. Like full sets, not just like a ten-minute spot, four shows, four full one-hour shows. But yeah, we were doing matinee shows at the Ice House.

It's wild, it was wild, like, you know, we'd go down there and see the signs and all the pictures. It was like, This is crazy, like, who the fuck is doing that?

You know, because I was doing—they were calling them kid shows, because I was allowing all ages.

Oh.

Bob Fisher was bending the rules to let me have—.

That's great because your act is perfect for that.

But you know, I mean, I tailored it, I tailored it. So, you know, of course, you take out cuss words in certain topics, right? But for the most part, it was a friendly show.

But you can do that is what I'm saying. Like, you could float in and out of that world, you know, you could be clean, and then you could fuck around a little bit, yeah.

Yeah, a little cut loose. So the set that you would hear at 2 o'clock probably isn't the set you'd hear at, you know, the 10-30 show, yeah.

So you go from that to doing Dodger Stadium.

Well, there was a couple shows in between.

I know, but what the fuck, dude, what is that? That had to be a trip, what the fuck was that like?

You know what? I thought that I was going to be super nervous doing that show. But it was probably one of the most calm experiences for me. As far as like, not feeling pressure because it felt more like a celebration versus me having to perform like.

Bro, that's so crazy.

And to feel that energy of people wanting you to succeed, wanting you to do good. Wow, people that were there for the ride back at the Ice house, you know, 20, some odd years ago.

Look at all those people, that is insane, that's insane.

It was a beautiful moment. I was choked up in the first 30 seconds walking out there because they just kept cheering. Like, you know? And then I said, we did it and it was just it was over after that. So it was a big, emotional, you know, show for me.

That's hilarious.

If you run the light of the club, it's all right. Come on, maybe you messed up.

How much did they fine you? Well, you don't have to say.

It was over a hundred.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Dodger Stadium, come on guys, stop being cunts. Is that like operating costs?

Well, you got to figure all the costs that go into, like, you know, the union, the staff, I mean, there's so many people that work there.

It had to be worth it, though.

Yes, it had to be worth it. I'd do it all over again. It was the greatest night of my life and so happy to pay the fine.

That's amazing. When I saw Bill Burr do Fenway Park had a similar sort of situation, you know, like, Holy shit.

And to do it in your hometown, you know, that's the best part. I think it's always harder to get love at home, you know, that's why you go out on the road and you do your thing, and I think that getting that love at home. Like, I never got to perform at a comedy club at home until I became successful on the road.

That doesn't make sense, though. Why would that be were you hanging around?

You got to figure 20 some odd years ago, you know, maybe they had a Latino night, you know? You had to really know somebody, somebody had to really vouch for you, or you, just it was weird.

So what year did you start?

I started in 97.

97.

One-nighters and stuff like that, oh, so-and-so has a room, so-and-so has a room, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Joey Diaz took me to a lot of those places. Oh yeah, Joey Diaz would tell you, Come on, motherfucker, you want to go to the real place. He would take you to some Chinese restaurant in the middle of nowhere. It's run by Mexican people.

You knew where Escobar would spend his weekends.

He would go to all these fucking crazy shows, but he had a philosophy behind it. He was like, you know, I want to go everywhere, I want to go everywhere. I want to get in front of these fucking momos. I want to go down to the East side and rock those motherfuckers.

But the cool part was that I was used to performing in places like that before. I actually got an audience that was willing to just be quiet and listen. Yes, so I felt like, oh, wow, that was hard because you have to come out the gate swinging to get people in a bar. People that are focused on the game, focused on trying to hook up, having a drink, trying to wait, you know, waiting for somebody. There's all kinds of different things happening.

It is school, it's a school that no one is going to give you a lesson plan. You got to kind of do it all yourself, and you got to learn from the other people that are doing it, like Joey. But it's like, I did the same thing in Boston.

And you were excited to do it.

Oh my god, yeah, it was amazing, just the fact that you were making money doing comedy was amazing. And you're learning how to do it, you're learning how to do it the hard way in restaurants and bars and pubs, and just weird little outdoor venues.

There was no social media back then, no YouTube, no TikTok, video clips, no nothing that you could post, you just had to go out.

But honestly, that's great because that gave you this chance to, first of all, know you really wanted it. Because if you were really going to grind it out every night, going to all these weird, shitty places for no money for years, for years, you're not making any money. You got to be committed to that because a lot of people, they got one foot in, one foot out, they have one good set.

I knew that, with time, money would come, as long as I stuck it out. I was in a very cush position when I started doing stand-up, so it was a little challenging to say goodbye to security. I had a great gig selling cell phones.

Couldn't you work there during the day?

I did.

For how long?

I did, I lasted about a year because I found out that I couldn't just do my job. And then go do shows at night and then go home. You couldn't go home, you had to stay out, we had to wind up at a Denny's.

Yeah, it's huge.

You know?

That's huge.

So staying out late at night, coming home at 4 or 5 in the morning and then having to be up at 7 to go do my 9 to 5. Fortunately, I was young and I was able to hang for about a year and then I just couldn't. I was falling asleep at work and I got caught, I got caught, you know? I was working inside of a little kiosk selling cell phones. And one time, I just kind of let me do some inventory here on the floor. And then I guess I was snoring and somebody caught me.

Oh my God, and I'm like, Oh, oh my God, that's a beautiful story though, yeah.

And I thought that because I had done a couple of television shows and I saw the money that I could make doing stand-up. At that time, I said, Oh well, and you start doing the math, the delusional math. Well, if I get one of these a month and I do this and this and this, I only need this much to pay my rent, this much to pay my car. Note I'm going to be fine. And I quit my day job and I got evicted from my apartment because I ran out of money.

How old were you at the time?

20 21 Yeah.

You could still kind of fuck up a little bit at 20 21.

I had no problem sleeping in a car at that age. Now I'm like, Eh, that would suck. Maybe I got to get that day job back, but no, back then, I was willing to do whatever it took.

But that's what you're supposed to do. I've met a lot, Tony did that, I know a lot of people that did that, a lot of people slept in their car.

You know what, yeah, what are you willing to do? what are you willing to sacrifice to make it happen?

Because there's a path it can be done. It's just not easy, it's not easy, and you've got to hope you have talent and hope you're not delusional.

Because a lot of people say that they want it, but do they?

A lot of people say a lot of things.

A lot, those are your buddies.

That's a drag, that's a drag.

Well, a lot of those voices I heard were family, not necessarily friends. It's like, even closer.

Yeah, but they're just looking out for you, you know? they're worried. They didn't know, you know, if they had a magic crystal ball, they'd be like, Oh.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I should have been more supportive, you would have bought me something nice.

In the beginning, they're also like, Oh, you want to do that? how cool. Yeah, yeah, you can do it, go for it, chase your, follow your dreams.

Well, when they see the reality. Like the homeless part and the not having any money part, not having any health care part. When you used to, and then the uncertainty of it all. It's not like going to law school.

You graduate the bar.

There's a certain, yeah, there's a path. We don't even have a school for it. You have to figure it out on your own. It's like every other, even if you want to. I mean, there's many, many, many self-taught musicians, right?

Because it's such a broader spectrum, like, you know, what works for one person will definitely not work for another.

Yeah.

You know, and I think it's all in what you put out that makes it work.

Yeah, for sure. The only thing like a comedy class is good for is it actually gets people on stage.

Getting on stage is the first thing. One thing that I feel like I had an advantage when I started doing stand-up was. I took speech classes in high school, and so I was very comfortable getting up in front of the class and just talking, just talking. There was no jokes back then.

Yeah, getting used to talking to people that's huge, just getting used to being like the center of attention, that's huge.

Because a lot of times, you know, it's like people say, Oh, the scariest thing in the world, jumping out of an airplane or doing this, or, you know, go cliff diving. But, you know, most people cannot handle being in front of a crowd, most people get uncomfortable.

You know what Whitney told me? Whitney Cummings told me that. That originates from the ancient tribes that we used to live in when you were brought in front of the tribe to be judged, that's why they were all looking at you, like, when there's all these people looking at you, it's not. It's either. There's some sort of a dilemma that you have to warn people about, or you're being judged.

Yeah, then you get a. You get a microphone and you hear your voice for the first time on a PA. And you're like, Oh, wow, that's, you know. I remember, like, hearing myself, I'm like, that's what I sound like to people, let me put some bass in there.

Yeah.

There's so many factors. Someone taught me about mic technique, you know, the way you hold it, do you hold it tight, high up? Do you know? There's some comics that ride the mic really low or keep the mic really lower, and there's some that choke them? You know, have it right here, like wrapping or something.

Joey Diaz keeps it in the stand.

And that works for him, that works great for him. Kevin does the same thing, Kevin Hart will keep it in the stand. And you know, I've tried that.

Yeah, I feel like I have too many hands, you know, I want that right there, I want to be able to switch hands or move it around.

And then I'm one of those that tell stories with their hands. So I'm always, you know, I got to be able to be mobile and move and just, you know, all right here we go.

It's crazy that you made it and then started getting into clubs in L.A. that is crazy.

Yeah, so uh, first time out on the road, I was, uh? I was doing a comedy club called Bart Reed's Comic Strip in El Paso, Texas, and I was there as an opener. And that was the first time I did a comedy club. Was Bart Reed's comic strip, El Paso?

That was the first real comedy club.

First actual comedy club, and then, um, I remember I went on the road actually with Joe Diaz and with Marilyn Martinez. And so I did a show with the two of them. And getting a comedy course from Marilyn Martinez and Joey Diaz at the same time is something I will never forget. Because the two of them are so like they were just yin and yang.

Well, that is a beautiful thing about people. When they think you're funny, that they will take you, take you under their wing. They will give you some advice and will talk to you about stuff.

Both of them were super nice.

Yeah, they were both super nice. Yeah, I miss Marilyn, She was always cool, I'd hang around at the store, She was hilarious.

Oh, I'd sit in the back and listen to Marilyn critique the comics, like, Oh, look at him, he thinks he's gonna make it.

Her and Joey together, too. What a one-two punch. Yeah, yeah. Like having relationships with those comics that have already gone through the gates and they can tell you what's going on.

Keep working on it. And the beauty of it back then, which I think is missing now, is because social media is so strong. Everybody would rather just talk through the phone. Whereas back then, I felt like it was a lot more. I've met so many comics online that I haven't met face-to-face yet.

Yeah, well, we're a little scattered now. It's not like a home base anymore. it used to be home bases were New York and L.A, now L.A.

Because you're all talking about comedy and you can't talk about comedy with people that don't get it exactly. Trying to talk to my brother about it, he's like, Oh, yeah, it sounds cool.

Yeah, you have to talk to people who are actually doing it, and you know, they're just the most fun to talk to. Like, when we have shows at the Mothership and then afterwards we're hanging out in the green room. We're just laughing, just laughing and talking shit and slapping the couch and having a good time.

Yeah, because we could be doing something completely different.

I do something that sucks.

You gotta appreciate it, the beauty of just laughter and just being able to hang out and be real and just hang out, yeah.

Yeah, no, it's amazing. We're very fortunate we found it.

It's the one job where it's like, normally when you're done, you punch out and you go home. But once you get off stage, like, Okay, now just hang out and watch everybody else and get a drink, you know, hey, how come you don't have food at your club?

Why do I not want to have food at my club because it's a distraction? Do you want to look down and see people eating while they're watching a show? They're there for a show.

I get it.

Yeah, I get it with you, I get it, I get what you're saying.

Okay, I didn't think about that, yeah.

If you have food laying around. One of the things that we found when we first looked at the club, the club was the Alamo draft house before it was the comedy club. So we went in there and they had this huge kitchen.

Like Jesus Christ, those roaches don't play those fly, too.

There was a very brief time where we entertained the idea of having a restaurant in the club too. And I was like, No, fuck that, and everybody that I talked to all the comics were like, No, no food.

It's just, you know.

Eat before you go.

Got it?

Drink snacks.

I'll do it, I just had to ask.

I hear you.

Yes.

That's like a real restaurant.

It's legit, it is like gourmet.

Yeah, their steak is like a great restaurant steak.

You could actually go there just to eat, and it would be like a great restaurant just to eat at.

Yeah, his place is wild, too, because of all the memorabilia on the wall, like Robin Williams outfit from Popeye's On the Wall.

Yeah, Lucille Ball's dress, Yeah, yeah. So he's got some really, really good ones.

Yeah, do you collect? VW, vans explain.

That's more like hoarding. I got a lot of Volkswagens, how many do you have? I don't want to sound like a douche, but I lost count. It's over 20..

You have more than 20 Volkswagens, but why them?

A Volkswagen bus A 1968 Volkswagen bus, was my first car. And for some reason. Once I started talking to Jay Leno, he showed me his collection and he started telling me about investing money and being able to enjoy your investment. And so I had gotten my ex-girlfriend her first car back, and then his guys helped me get my first car back, which was a bus. And they said, Well, if there's anything else you want, let me know and I go well. If you come across another one of these, let me know.

Look at all your buses. Yeah, that's so crazy.

I started collecting them about 10 years ago.

So do you buy them in this condition or do you have them refurbished?

Well, in the beginning, I would try to buy them, as you know, in as good a condition as possible. But then, you know, I met some people that do some amazing work. There's a friend of mine named Henry Marcheno who does all the restorations. And he will take, you know, a bus that's all rusted out and completely just in shambles, and he'll make a Picasso.

So you got some other cars in there too, though?

I do what is that?

Is that a 356? The one to the right? Oh, that's another VW, I can't see. What else do you have there?

Well, I no longer have the bugs, I only have one bug now, but it's mostly buses.

Mostly buses and one bug, that's it, so it's all Volkswagens.

Well, from what you see right there, I do have muscle cars. I got a –.

That's what I'm talking about.

Okay, let me see. I have two 69 chevelles, I have one that's a restomod and one that's all original, I have two camaros.

That's a beautiful year. That 69.

No, that's the original, that's the original, it's got all the paperwork. I actually got that one at the Barrett-Jackson car auction. Oh, it does.

In 1996.

I have a black chevelle that I call cocaine bear, because, man, that thing is just obnoxious. It is loud, it's powerful, it rattles, the whole neighborhood hears it.

So what is that? That is a camaro that they converted into a firebird? Is that what it is?

I no longer have that one, but I do have a 1979 trans AM.

Oh, the real one.

The real one, yeah. There was a company called Trans Am Depot in Florida, and they will take a camaro and then they'll turn it into a Trans AM.

And it has a Pontiac logo and everything, huh?

Yeah, no, that's the one I still have right there. It's blue, it's beautiful.

Oh wow, look at that pretty thing. Trans Ams are gorgeous.

It's long, too, the whole hood is really, really long.

Does anybody ever make a trans AM? That is like a really solid driving car, though? has anybody done like a wild resto mod with like a custom chassis? I mean, they must have.

I've never driven one or seen one, and all the trans AMs I've been in have always been manual.

No, I mean stock. I mean, whether or not they change the suspension, manual transmission is the way to go with a car like that always. But I mean, has anybody done like a real Resto mod with a trans AM? They must have, you never see them, though.

Yeah, I mean, they try to keep it looking like it, they want it to have that look, but anyway, yeah. So I have a bunch of muscle cars, but people know me as the Volkswagen bus guy.

What does it say there? Jamie? At the top? Yeah, Trans AM gets a stunning resto mod overhaul from retro designs. Okay, so this one they did, yeah, there they go.

That's pretty.

Yeah.

They're a little bit better.

They're not that bad.

But yeah, yeah, so, you know, on top of the Volkswagens, I do got the muscle car collection, which is nice.

Dude, there's nothing like muscle cars. There's something about those things. Like whatever they were doing in that time period, from the late 60s to the early 70s, whatever they're doing, they stopped doing it.

Yeah, it's very different. Yeah, and I have some friends that are purists when it comes to muscle cars, so they want to keep it stock, keep it the way that it was. I don't get those, and then there's some that I'm like, you know, dude, there's nothing wrong with putting an air conditioner in a car.

How about good brakes that work?

Thank you.

What the fuck are you doing? Like, all that numbers matching, I get it, but that's not for me. I get it, that people want to collect them, numbers matching.

But yeah, there's more people that just want to enjoy the car, have fun with the car, and they could care less. What the numbers, you know?

You want to not be sucking gas fumes through the exhaust, like, how bad do some of those smell?

Oh man, yeah, yeah. When you have a car that's over 40 years old, you get used to the smell of gas.

Yeah, they stink of gas.

And then you think at first it's leaking, and no, it's not. That's just the way that the car smelled back then.

Yeah, you're breathing in fumes, you're getting a headache.

You smell the oil, you smell the gas.

But Resto mods don't like resto mods. Like what I was showing you, the Land cruiser. When they use a modern crate engine, they can just change it completely, yeah.

So it looks original, but it drives, it, handles like a modern car, that's what I like.

I just like that there's the character of those cars that's undeniable. Like, if they made one today like that, I would say I would want to buy one. Like if they made a resto. Like, they can't do it, which is kind of crazy.

Yeah, and then living in California, all these cars, man, you know how hard it is.

Getting smogged?

Yeah, so all my cars are 1974 and below.

Yeah.

Just because I don't want to deal, yeah, that's good, I don't want to deal, yeah.

Yeah, isn't that funny? Like, as long as they're old, they get polluted like crazy?

Yeah, you know, I just think it's interesting that, you know, as time goes by, they don't move the needle like they still keep it at 1974. It's like, come on.

Well, yeah, I think that's because it's almost impossible. Like, if you want to get like a 1974 Porsche and you want to convert it to modern standards of exhaust, I wonder what they would even have to do. It might ruin the car.

Yeah, it's going to take away from the originality of it, but is it going to make it a better driver? Are you going to have more fun with it?

Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, I think they would have to like. I know they do restomods with those old Porsches, but I think they just take everything out and put all modern shit in.

Yeah, but they're still going to hold you to the rules. Yeah, I did do a with one of my Volkswagens, I actually did a. It's called a Subaru swap, so I took out the engine from the Volkswagen and I put in a Subaru turbo engine in it. Oh, Jesus.

I saw a video online, see if you can find this. It was a Ford, an old Ford Econoline van, that they put a supercharged Coyote engine in.

Oh, wow.

So it's this, those ones where your face is like, right at the windshield, you ever see those? Yeah, it's like such a flat-faced, weird thing, but he's got this crazy, fucking supercharged Coyote Mustang engine in it.

Yeah, some of these modifications they don't really, you know, they're not worried about the height. Or, you know, you got to put everything else in there to match so that it can handle, right.

They're doing it just for funsies. Nobody really needs an econoline van with a supercharged fucking Coyote engine in it.

Like, I heard anywhere, I heard a rumor that they were going to make a Hellcat minivan. And I'm like, you know what, I think I'm down, I think I'm down.

No, this isn't. It's actually even older than that. That's a 1970 one, but that one someone did the same kind of thing, too. Oh, they made that one a sleeper.

Yeah.

But I just always thought it was funny that you picked that one car, so I always wanted to know.

What was it? It was just one of those things where I really liked it. And I started making every single color that they came out with, and then I used the entire palette, and so then we just started having fun creating our own color schemes.

Oh, really. oh, that's awesome. Do you drive them? Yeah, you take them out.

They all work. I try not to take them on the freeway. I mean, there's a couple that are really, really good on the freeway. But most of the time, I just rather keep them on the streets and they've all broken down.

And they're 50-plus-year-old cars and they're stock. And when you're saying you have some that are good on the highway, most of them have what a four-cylinder in them.

They're all four, they're all tiny, they've got four bolts to put those engines in. Really, yeah.

So the one that does better, though on the highway, is it just a stronger engine, just healthier?

I think that because it's the one that gets driven more, my favorite one to drive is a 1968 that I have. It's called a bay window, and it's the generation that came after the split. So the buses had that little widow's peak in the two windows.

Yeah.

Like, the windows slide on a 67, whereas the other one, the windows go all the way down.

They slide left and right.

Yeah, slide left and right, so you can't like, hang your arm out, you can't do any of that. But it's 1968 and above.

Wow, and what is it like, 100 horsepower or something?

If that, wow, if that, I mean most of them, I mean, they started off like, what? 20, 25, 30, between 25 and 30 horsepower.

For a van.

Yeah.

How many vans tried to make their way across the country in those things?

Oh man, you know what? But I mean, that was the sprinter van of its day. Yeah, that's why people would turn those into camper vans. Or they'd get the band in there, or they'd, you know, they'd gut the whole thing out.

Yeah, did the Manson family have one of those?

I wouldn't doubt it.

It seemed like something they would have. I wouldn't doubt it. See if the Manson family had a VW van.

Someone actually tried to sell me a Dr. Kevorkian's Volkswagen.

Dude, they have that at the.

I got the option to buy it really. Yeah, they tried to sell me the van, the yellow, that bus that's now at the museum in Las Vegas.

That's crazy.

So the.

So you had a chance to buy it before the museum?

Yeah, but I'm like, I can't, you don't want that. It felt so eerie, you don't want that.

It belongs in the museum.

And even though it's like, Okay, it's a good talking thing, hey, guess what I have over here, I got the death machine.

Fuck that, that's just crazy.

So yeah, you could see it at the I think it's called the Museum of Death, I think.

I almost bought David Koresh's 1968 Mustang.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, it was for sale online and they were advertising it was David Koresh's Mustang, and apparently it had providence so they could prove it.

I was like, Do I? because I really wanted one of those?

I really wanted a 69.

But did you want his? yeah.

Part of me was like, Yes, but the other part of me is like, what if I'm opening up doors that I can never close? What if he truly was evil?

The branch Davidian staff car.

He made his way into the car like, Christine, remember that movie?

Oh my god, I love that movie, fuck yeah.

They never explained that was his car, Waco cult leader, that was the car. I mean, come on, son.

That is beautiful.

Yeah, 1968. And if I was going to just drive it stock like that, I mean, just fuck around, take it to the store. But I thought about it, I was like, I don't think I don't want that fucking bad karma.

And you can find a car like that. Yeah, yeah, I have one that looks like that, but I got the white stripe on it, beautiful.

Oh man, yeah, fun car. Yeah, they're amazing cars.

I saw it online, it looks cool, it's so fun.

It's so fun.

I had done as much as I could to modify the car to make it as safe. So, like, for example, I put LEDs, I took out the old stuff and I put LEDs so that it's bright. Changed the cluster inside to make sure that it was all digital and bright so that I could see it. Yeah, and I had people getting upset with me over it. I'm like, come on, man.

Oh, because you were changing the original stuff, you got to stop talking to those fools, those people are idiots. Just leave it alone.

Yeah.

Come on, bro, everyone's going to die.

Everyone, and then someone else, is going to enjoy it.

Just enjoy it, don't try to like. There's plenty of them that are out there that are stock, it's not like we're running out of them.

You know, I got to tell you, I bought something really cool last week and I got a chance to play with it. Yesterday, I bought a 1994 Ford Mustang Cobra. The difference between that and anything else out there is that it only had 12 miles on it. Oh, wow.

It's like a dealer car.

It was covered in plastic, it still had the sticker in the window, it still had all the different, you know, the barcodes and just everything on it. So I had to rip the plastic off the seats.

Whoa?

And that, for me, was the coolest thing. It's just like, Wow.

For a 1994 car.

1994.

That's crazy, how many of those are out there.

Yeah, that's, you know, I got lucky. I found it online and I just jumped. I'm like, it's mine.

It's funny how cars like not just muscle cars, because muscle cars are fast, but cars like a Volkswagen, they're fun to drive even if they're slow. It's like so much more engaging than a regular car, it's like you're on a little ride, like you're in a Go-kart.

That's exactly what it is. And then you're sitting high, it's a different experience. You know? It's like, now you can get an SUV, and of course you're up there, but to be that high up and then you're literally your face is. The windshield's right here, yeah.

And you feel everything, you feel every bump and twist of the road.

You got the wheel and you're sitting on, you're sitting over the wheels, so it's just.

Suspension sucks, everything can't go around a corner, it's terrible.

Yeah, I actually got up on two wheels one time by accident. I'm lucky I didn't die. I was getting on the freeway and I just cut the corner too hard and I felt it, man, and then you just boom, came back down.

It's really interesting because it does. A car does not have to be fast to be engaging, you know, that's what I think gets lost. With a lot of these paddle shifter cars, these new cars. Everybody's just trying to go zero to 60 faster and get on around the Nurburgring faster. But that's not really what makes a car fun like.

But you feel everything in that car, you are part of the car.

It's a Disneyland ride.

You are part of that car.

I mean, it's slow as shit compared to, like, my Tesla.

But when you're when you're doing, if you're doing 80 in that versus 80 in the Tesla, you feel like, wow, I'm going a hundred miles an hour, you feel alive.

You feel like you're on a motorcycle or something, it's crazy.

You're waiting to see the smoke like any second now, something's going to snap and you're going to have to pull over.

Well, those cars, too. The engine's in the back and so the ass end kicks out around corners, you know, and if you're going around a corner and you let off the gas.

You're going to fishtail it, yeah.

Like, especially those old, like the old turbos, those old wild ones that people got.

Good luck, yeah.

You have to teach people to keep their foot on the gas when they're going around a corner, that's crazy.

I'm, you know, fortunately, I don't have the need for speed as much. I have a nice little straightaway. I'll get it on the 405 if there's an opportunity. All my driving, I do after midnight.

Oh, you like to get out of the house?

I get out of the house at night and I like taking my drives between midnight and 3 in the morning because there's nobody out there.

Just enjoy driving.

And I can just drive, yeah, you know, so I'll do a lap. So I'll take like the 605 to the 210, to, you know, the 134, and I'll just go through L..A.

Do you know who Magnus Walker is?

I know the name.

Magnus Walker is this Porsche expert? He rebuilds old Porsches, makes them amazing, but he, like, he has these videos about Porsches that are like a love letter to Porsche. So he takes these old Porsches and drives them on the highway. And he's a cool looking dude.

He looks like a magnus.

Yeah, that's Magnus Magnus, he's got a cool English accent. But see if you can find one of the videos of him, because there's a video of him. I think it's called 9-11 outlaw.

Yeah.

Yeah, so this is, this is it. Like, that is a beautiful little car, and it's not fast, not compared to modern standards.

And you see how there's no traffic and he's enjoying it. It's a nighttime drive and he can actually, you know, give a gas if he wants to, or chill.

This is before the pandemic, though. God, now it's a goddamn zombie movie, I'm not going to lie.

I kind of enjoyed the drives during that. I think that's what got me out of the house.

Oh, during the middle of the pandemic, yeah, I'm just like, Wow, yeah, I just mean, in downtown L..A.

I would have fucked him. Yeah, you did.

Yeah, but I mean, if I was in downtown L.

It is insane the amount of, I mean, tent cities everywhere you look.

Insane.

Everywhere you look and it's just like, What the hell, yeah?

What the hell?

It's so much, and what kills me is some of these tents have like electricity, like they got generators and TVs. I'm like, Whoa, are you homeless or are you camping?

Poles and shit, they're opening up poles and pulling wires out and diverting power.

Yeah, I know it's like, Okay, I feel like they're making that choice.

Well, there's probably as fucked up as it is some kind of community to being a part of this struggle with all these other people that are sleeping on the streets. And then there's open-air drug use and it's tolerated. And then there's places where you can go, especially in Skid row, and you can get some help, you can get food.

That's all I'm seeing is they're getting kicked out and then they're finding, you know, like, Oh, that community is now over here.

It's crazy that this was never an issue. When we were kids, it was never an issue like when. Do you remember when you were a kid seeing tents?

Ever seen tents?

Never, never. And it's like, we're just supposed to accept that there's nothing that can be done, like, what are you gonna do now?

People have no concept, no understanding of the situation.

Well, not only that, they have no incentive, the people that are running it. If the homeless problem goes away, they don't have a job anymore. So what are they going to do? They're going to make sure it's manageable and well, we need more funding.

Because you have to.

Because you have an environmental problem, it's just humans, you know, and you've got to figure it out through a compassionate solution. You've got to do it with a sense of community.

Another mess, crazy.

San Francisco is the worst. San Francisco is like a failed state. San Francisco might as well be Libya. That place is wild.

People are just shitting in the streets. The crime is next level in San Francisco, it is stupid, next level, next level.

People are parking their cars and leaving their windows rolled down and their hatches open because they don't want to get smashed.

Fuck man. And it doesn't matter what time of day, and it doesn't matter who's around.

Doesn't matter who's around, no one's stopping anybody from doing anything. It's crazy, it's crazy how quick San Francisco fucked, because everyone's pulling out of there.

They're like, what the fuck, it's becoming a ghost town and they're not pumping the brakes on it.

I don't know what they do now at this point. What do they do? They don't have the resources to fix it now. Because they fucked it up so bad for so long, and they would have to admit that all of their policies sucked.

And nobody's going to do that.

Nobody's going to do that, nobody's going to do that. What are you going to do, Fluffy? Are you going to make your way to Texas?

Hey man, let's go.

You know how many times I've been?

You know how many times I've come close to moving out here.

How many times?

Oh man, I've been talking about San Antonio for at least 10 years.

San Antonio's Dope.

At least 10 years. Yeah, it's right up the street.

I got a good real estate agent.

I actually already own a house in San Antonio. Do you? Yeah, no shit. yeah, I bought it a long time ago.

Oh.

But it's just.

Yeah, fly back home when you want to.

You keep.

Whenever you feel bad, fly back home and go, What the fuck is wrong with me? And after a while, San Antonio will be your new home, and there's that nice club out there too.

Was it? Lol? Yeah, they got, lol.