#2094 - Colion Noir

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Nothing much, man.

Good to see you. Good to be back. We had a full Texas day today, dude. Yeah.

Full Texas. Doesn't get more Texas than that.

Shotguns, ate barbecue, went to the Staccato Range. How sick is that place?

Man, dude, you should have, like, I remember when I first went there. Like, I called it the ghetto, because that's what we do, but, like, there was nothing there.

Just dirt.

Just dirt. And, like, they had some bays and stuff like that, too. And we, you know, me and my videographer, we did some shooting out there and we filmed, but it was, like, nothing like it is now. Now it looks like an entire little village of guns.

They're dumping a ton of money into that place. Dude. Yeah.

Like, when we were going around, he was showing us, like, the whole property. I was, like, I don't know if you saw my face. I was like, what the fuck?

I know. It must be a lot of money and selling really good guns.

Yeah. Yeah. To say the least.

Like, the lake? Like, you guys have a lake? Why'd you build a lake? It's like, we're going to have a lake. I'm not going to lie.

There's something about water. Like, if I ever bought, like, property, like, if I just get over this hole, like, I have to be in the city. shit. Like, I'd buy property. I'd want some, like, body of water.

Explain to me the I have to be in the city.

I'm just a city rat. Like, I like.

You just always like it.

Yeah, just the buzz and the energy of the city is something that I just, it's in me. So, it's like, like, I can still, like, every year, you know, I'll go out to, like, Utah and go and do all of the, you know, eat, love, pray, shit. And then. But you just have to be back in the city. Yeah. I got to come back to the streets. Yeah.

That's crazy. I like staying in cities. Like, when I stay in New York City, I'm there for a weekend. But by the time Sunday rolls around, like, all right, get me the fuck out of here. I don't like it. I've never liked it. Even when I lived in New York, I didn't live in the city. I lived in the suburbs.

Ah.

I lived, but that was because I couldn't afford it. I couldn't afford an apartment. Gotcha. That had parking. Like, it's parking in New York City.

Oh, yeah, you're right. It's crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. And I have to do the road. I travel a lot to do standup. I have to be able to drive to gigs. So, I was driving to Connecticut, New Jersey, and just to get a parking spot, I forget how much it cost back then. It was in the 90s. But it was, it was out of my budget.

I'm honestly, like, I love cities. So, anytime I go to a city, if I travel to a different, to a state I've never been to before, I always want to stay in the city and I always go to their downtowns. New York is one of the places that I genuinely do not like. Really? No, I don't know what it is. I genuinely did not like it, which is weird, because I like big cities. But, for something about New York, I was just kind of like, meh. Really? I don't, dude.

That doesn't make any sense, because it's the most city city.

I wish I could articulate it.

Just a feeling is not interesting.

And it wasn't even, like, during a weird time. Like, I didn't go, like, during COVID or anything like that. It was, it was pretty normal time.

During COVID, they made some weird law in New York City where you're allowed to eat outside. So, they built indoor places outside. So, they basically built, like, these, like, there were, like, little trailers that they set up outside. And they put, you know, dining tables in and nice lighting and shit. I've seen this. Go on. Yeah. New York City drivers will have to pay $15 to ride through Manhattan.

Yeah. I did not know that.

You have to pay money to drive through the city.

Well, first of all. Oh, this is new.

Yeah. They're out of money.

Yeah. Well, yeah. This is what happens when you make stupid policy decisions.

Yeah. You make terrible policy decisions and you say that you're a sanctuary city and then Texas goes, okay, great.

I mean.

It's pretty gangster. If you're dealing with the border and the border is where you are and everyone's like, we're a sanctuary. Like, oh, are you? Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah. I got an idea.

I'll be honest and tell you, I haven't been following it super close, which is odd because I'm Texas born and raised. And the weird thing is, is, living in Dallas, you're almost still kind of disconnected from what's going on at the border, a little bit. Right. Because you're so far north. Right. But even in Houston, because, you know, I'm in Houston a lot too, it's not something that you're confronted with daily. But. But. Anybody from Texas, usually at some point in time, at some point in time.

What was that? Sorry, I was checking a video.

At some point in time, you're going to go, you're going to go towards the border. Yeah. And you're going to see it for yourself. But what I do know of it, I mean, at this point, we, I mean, we're trying not to lose control of it, essentially, from what I can gather.

What is happening?

I don't know.

Whose idea is it?

In terms of what?

Who's letting this happen? Like, who's, it seems very organized. These people know the border's open, so they know they can just walk through.

I think, I think there is, there's a lot of virtue signaling, I think, involved in all of the whole, like, like you talking about, with New York saying, you know, we're a sanctuary city. Just, yes, we accept everyone to come in, just not our state, in our city. Right. Right. And so I think you have that combined with the reality of what happens when you have a border that, honestly, is not being checked. Right. So if you, if you have, if you have a situation where you have people who are able to just come in and leave as they, I wouldn't necessarily, necessarily say leave, but coming into a state, and it's a choke point because a lot of it is coming in through Texas. So, you know, it's easy to have that philosophy of, oh, you know, leave the border, don't, don't make the border, get rid of the barbed wire, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, because we want to seem as if we are welcoming to everyone. And I don't think it's a matter of not wanting to be welcoming. I think it has a lot to do with the same reason why you have a front door with locks on it on your house. Yeah. Right. At least have a checkpoint to say, okay, well, if you want to come in, I need to know who I'm dealing with.

Well, do you see, they had this one guy that was on video, that he said, you will see who I am soon. And then they found out he's on like some terrorist watch list or something like that.

Yeah.

Oh, terrific.

But that doesn't surprise me, though.

Well, it doesn't surprise me either, but it seems too convenient that it's happening with the numbers that it's happening at. It seems organized. And I would like to know, like, how is it getting to those people? Is anyone supplying them with resources? Is anyone telling them how to do it? Is this organized?

I think it is. Do I have any proof or data to back it up? No, it's a hunch. Yeah. Just because it just doesn't really make sense. I don't think anybody who's honestly being honest with themselves, you're not going to be someone who says, you know what? I just want an open border where any and everyone can come in at will, without anybody checking who's actually coming into the country.

No, it's insane.

It makes no sense.

It's insane. It's not the case if you fly in, which is nuts. So if you're coming from some country and you, you know, if you want to emigrate to the United States, it's hard.

Yeah.

You have to prove that you have some sort of exceptional skill. There's some reason for you to be here. You get a work visa. You have to apply for citizenship.

I mean, let's just keep it real. Like, there are a lot of people who just don't like this country. Yeah. And they would love to get into the country and cause damage to the country any way they can.

Yes.

So I think, for anyone to say that they don't, that they are for open borders.

At least there's got to be a percentage of the people that are coming across. that we don't want here. There has to be.

I mean, that's just reality.

Just reality. Yeah. Yeah. And as much as you want to be a kind person, look, I am the grandchild of immigrants. None of my family came from America. They all came from Italy and Ireland. They all came over here.

Your parents are immigrants.

Yeah. So it's like we're not anti-immigration. But it just seems like, God damn, you've got to make sure you're not letting terrorists in. It seems so simple.

Yeah. But, like I said, I think a lot of it has to do, I think there's some grandstanding and there's some virtue signaling going on as well. I think the administration, honestly, is trying to walk that line of, no, we're so progressive. And, you know, while at the same time, honestly, trying to stick it to Texas. Yeah. I think, I mean, it's a dick-swinging competition at this point.

Why would you have a dick-swinging competition about the border? That seems so insane that you would want people to take down a barrier to entry.

You know what I think? What? I think it has a lot to do with Trump. Because, you know, when he was running his campaign, he was running a lot of it based on the idea he was going to build a wall on the border. Yeah. And so that became a separation point for a lot of people in the country with respect to what side they fell on. And I think there's a particular party in this country that utilized it as a lightning rod to create that level of division. And so I think they're kind of trying to reestablish that again.

Which is one of the things that's even more gangster about Abbott sending people to Chicago, sending people to New York. Because in Chicago, they're like, get these fucking people out of here. And the people that live in Chicago, the poor people in Chicago, are like, this is bullshit. These people are getting money. They're getting all this help. They're getting food. They're getting all this stuff that we don't have.

People literally in the place who live there.

Their whole lives. And then, all of a sudden, these people sneak in and they're getting this special treatment.

I think there's also a level of trying to pass the buck a little bit, or kind of a mass distraction. Because when you look at these major cities and you see the conditions that a lot of these people are living in, in our own country, right, you start to ask yourself, okay, well, why are these conditions? Why do they exist? Right. And they're a very particularized area and very particular places within this country. So it begs the question. It's like, why can't we fix this issue? Right. Right. They're talking about how we want to help these people. They want to come into the country because they're running away from a shitty life and in terrible environments. I mean, you mean the ones that are synonymous, the ones that we actually have in the country as well, but yet we haven't been able to address that issue.

Exactly. Right. Exactly.

But I think it's a way to kind of push that to the side and sweep it under the rug and say, no, it's a sexier problem to have when we're trying to deal with people coming from other countries. Right. And we want to help them because we're so noble and so brave. But I'm like, you haven't even taken care of what's going on in your own home.

And part of the reason why the place they are at sucks, the reason why they come over here, is because of what we're doing to those countries.

They know that. Yeah.

There's part of that too. I mean, it's part of like when we shipped all those fucking jobs overseas and these people were making pennies on the dollar to make goods that we can buy here slightly cheaper. Yeah. I mean, we destroyed unions and destroyed American manufacturing.

You know, I'm not going to go so far as to say a little bit of that is our fault, as well as consumers. Because when you do try to make stuff in America, right, they're going to be more expensive. Yeah. You know what I mean? And a lot of people aren't willing to pay that price hike in order to have stuff produced in America. So basically, companies become incentivized to then go and have these things created elsewhere, because I've seen companies where they struggle because they're trying to make everything in America. Right. But that comes with a price that a lot of people aren't willing to pay. Right. And so I wonder how much, you know, it's kind of like with climate change, it's like how much of that is affecting a lot of the manufacturing and so forth going overseas.

Some of it is, but there's enough people that want to buy American made products from people that get paid a fair wage. that if you advertise that and make that a product.

A lot of people say they do.

Well, a lot of people do. Look at Origin. Yeah. Origin can't keep clothes on the shelves. Everything's flying off their boots, their clothes, their hunting gear. They can barely keep them in stock. Everybody wants it because it's 100% American made.

You think that's the only reason why?

What do you think it is?

I don't know. I'm not that familiar with Origin, honestly.

Well, Origin is my friend Jocko's company and I'm a part of it, and I know that what they're doing is very popular. Got you. And it's very popular because that's part of their mission statement. Bring back American manufacturing. You know, take pride in the fact that these things that you're wearing, these things that you purchase, these things you use every day, is 100% American made. Everything, down to the buttons, the threads, everything put together, all the cloth, everything's sourced from America. 100%. 100%.

That's actually pretty damn impressive.

Yeah, pretty damn impressive. The only thing they don't have from America, there's a part of a boot that you can only get in South America. Got you. So even that's America. It's just South America, but not United States. But that's one piece, and they eventually are planning on figuring out a way to manufacture that piece.

Is that where the name comes from, Origin? I don't know. It fits.

It does fit. Yeah, it does fit. I don't know the origin of the name.

It begs the question, though. You and I, yeah, I would do it.

I think enough people would.

But I have the monetary ability to do it. I wonder how much of the people who weren't necessarily in the economic position to pay. To them, that's considerable markup, right?

Yeah.

I wonder how much of that. I don't know. I wonder how much of that plays into a part of facilitating this kind of shipping or manufacturing everything overseas, because they can build things cheaper and then people continue to buy it. So maybe I take a step back and I say, all right, maybe it's not just a, oh, yeah, they say they want American but aren't willing to pay for it. Maybe some people, maybe a large part of people, just can't.

I don't know. A large percentage of people probably can't. But people that are living check to check can't. But there's enough people that are not living check to check. that would feel better about buying something. And maybe instead of buying an iPhone every year or a cell phone every year, buy one every other year or every two years or every three years. It's feasible. It makes sense.

Now, granted, I'm guilty.

I got a fucking iPhone 11.. I keep one of my phones is an iPhone 11.. Motherfucker, works perfect.

I'm literally the person you're talking about. I upgrade my phone on the day. the new one comes out to the minute.

I got 15.. I have no reason to have this fucking phone.

No reason. Granted, I live and die by my, like, this is, these phones do everything for me now.

Yeah, me too.

I have reached a point now where I'm kind of like, I don't want to upgrade, but for no other reason than I don't want to have to go through the, like, update process. Like changing, like the changeover process is really annoying.

It is weird. Sometimes, like, phone numbers get all fucked up. Something happened where phone numbers got attached in iMessage to old emails of other people. Yeah.

I've had some really spooky stuff happen on my phones. And I'm like, the hell's going on here? Like, I had a friend tell me he was like, he's like, I called you and somebody else picked up. Yeah.

Okay. Is this your phone number? Yeah. I go, bro, a woman answers the phone.

That's exactly what happened to me.

Yeah. What's that?

I have no idea.

Yeah.

Maybe, I mean, I have, I don't know. I mean, at the end of the day, we are talking about devices, right, that are essentially supercomputers in our hands. Yeah. So maybe it's just the fault of the system that just, it's bound to happen where you get this kind of cross communication and it just can't keep up with it. I forgot who the comedian was. You know, he was talking about how impatient we are these days, because it was one of my favorite bits, because it's so true. He was like, we get these cell phones and then the moment it stops working a little bit, we get pissed off and it's like, it's sending messages to fucking space.

Oh, that's Louis C.K.

Louis C.K. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was like, yeah, that's a very poignant point.

It's a very good point. And yeah, I mean, it's easy to get annoyed at technology when it doesn't suit your needs, but it's just.

Uconnect.

Yeah. Yeah. The TRX. Yeah. My TRX has this system. I love the truck. It's awesome. It's amazing. That system is whack. You have one too, right? The Uconnect is whack.

I did a whole video on Instagram about it. It's the worst infotainment system I've ever experienced in a vehicle.

It sometimes just doesn't connect to CarPlay.

It's possessed. Yeah. I've literally driven 15 minutes and it has connected and disconnected five times. Oh, yeah. I'm like, this is... And then I step on the gas and I hear that whine.

Oh, yeah.

I don't forget about it.

Mine's at Hennessey right now. Yeah. They're replacing the screen or something. Something is wrong with the screen. It just shut off.

I want to take mine to Hennessey. I haven't done it yet. It's ridiculous. I want to get the unnecessary 1,000 horsepower.

1,000 horsepower pickup truck. But the one that comes out of the factory is 700..

What is wrong with that? It's not, but I mean, America, right? America. Yeah.

Yeah. They're making... You know how. the Dodge Demon is 1,000 horsepower, the new one? They're making a 1,700 horsepower Dodge Demon.

I thought it was going to be the last one.

No, Hennessey is.

Oh, Hennessey. That's Hennessey. Hennessey does shit like that. What a psycho.

What a psycho. Imagine getting a 1,000 horsepower two-door car and go, man, it needs more power.

But it's amazing how accustomed you get to speed. Yeah. Like you can get like... I mean, it probably takes. all in all, with consistent driving, I'd say about three weeks. Before you're like, I could use some more power.

That's the problem with Teslas. Yeah. That's the problem with Teslas. I'm still... I know you like engines, you like the sound, but if you go from that fucking car, go from the plaid, the 0-60 in 1.9 seconds, silently, like a fucking time-traveling machine.

I think I feel disconnected. I think it freaked me out a little bit, because without the sound and the noise, it's kind of like... Have you driven it? Have you tried it? I've driven a Tesla... Well, not a Plaid, but I've driven one of the earlier model Teslas. There are aspects to it. Like, I'm not anti-electric. I'm just anti-get-rid-of-ice-engines-in-order-to-bring-in-electric. Right. That's my issue. I want a choice.

Well, Toyota's not going that way. It's really interesting, because they get a lot of pushback. because of that. Toyota is embracing hybrids. They're like, this doesn't make any sense. You want range. And with hybrids, you get all the range of a regular vehicle, but you get a lot of fuel economy, so you get more range, and you get also the option of extra power. And that's one of the things that Honda did with their last NSX, which was one of the most underappreciated supercars that's ever existed. That fucking last NSX was a monster.

I, to the life, cannot understand why it didn't do well.

Because it's an Acura?

Yeah, but everybody wets their pants over the older NSX.

Yeah, but only car dorks like us. That's true. Like, the average person does not wet their pants over an old NSX. That's true. They're like, what is this fucking old Honda?

We're so brand identifying.

Yeah, people are so brand. Like, if you pull up in your Lamborghini, that sick Lamborghini that you have, that thing is like, god damn. If you're going to spend that kind of money, that's the response you want.

But it's still just an Audi.

It is an Audi, yeah. Yeah, it is an Audi, kind of. But that makes it better. Because now it's actually reliable.

Which is true. I think the marriage, I think one of the best marriages between car manufacturers was Audi and Lamborghini.

Yeah.

Because everybody knew Lamborghinis were this unreliable, but fantastically fun, beautiful pieces of shit. Right? Right. And then you get the German engineering of Audi, and then you combine that with the flair and the pomp and circumstance that you get with the Italians, and it's just a beautiful marriage.

It's just, Lamborghini is like 10% too much douche.

I know, that's why I literally decided to get one just for that. It was something I said, I had some investments. go well, and I was like, you know what?

Let's go. Fuck it. Let's swing it. Look at that NSX. I mean, that is a fucking amazing car.

It is, but I also think they took too many parts. Because inherently, I think the silhouette is gorgeous. Right? But I still think there's a lot of it that screams accurate. I know this sounds counterintuitive, because it is one.

I know what you're saying. It's not quite exotic enough. Exactly.

At least for the price point. If they brought it and came in at a price point sub $100, they wouldn't have been able to keep them.

They're still selling the R8.. That's a fucking monster car too. That's also a car that's not appreciated enough.

I am a little kind of indifferent about the R8.. Really? Yeah. I drove one once, and I couldn't help but feel like... Now, keep in mind, in all fairness, it was the early first generation R8.. I haven't driven any of the newer generations.

My friend Everlast had one of the earlier ones. It was pretty dope. But that was back when it was new. Is this the newest one? The one I'm on is a 23.. God damn, that's sick.

What is that?

That's the next one? Oh, it'll be fully electric. It's after the R8..

I don't know about this whole fully electric shit. Now, you know what? I'm full of shit. Because there is one car I drove that I was like, I actually want this.

What's that?

The Taycan.

Oh, yeah.

I was like, okay.

All right. That's amazing.

That I can... Because it gave me... It was still lacking on the sound aspect. However, what it did do, it still gave me all the driving dynamics that you were used to with Porsche.

Yes.

You get what I'm saying?

And the interior. Exactly. Yes. The driving dynamics are... I've driven one. It's amazing. Amazing.

I literally, my blood pressure just dropped the moment I got in the car.

Look at that thing. I mean, they just know how to do interiors. They know how to do ergonomics.

Without being overboard.

And you can also get the Jetson sound. Do you know the... What is the Mission E? Is that the two-door one? Oh, shit.

Oh.

That looks like a four-door to me.

Wait, what was that? Maybe that was the concept.

I think they're coming up with a two-door.

Or was that the concept for the original Taycan?

I believe they're coming out with a two-door Taycan.

Ah, Mission... Okay.

But the sound, you can get Jetson sounds. So, when you hit the gas, the one I was in is like...

I don't like that.

Yeah, you say that until you drive it.

I like my cars sound like they're farting everywhere they go.

Look at that. Electric sports sound off. Yeah, so it just takes off silently and then sound on.

See, the sound you made and then that sound are two different things.

Right, right. That's my fault. Come on, that sounds insane. That sounds like you're in a goddamn spaceship.

It doesn't. Because I daily drive one. And I love it.

It's so crazy fast.

I got rid of the GT3 to get it, which is sacrilegious.

The difference in sound.

Yeah, because the way that GT3 wails, it's awe-inspiring.

Yeah, it is. It's part of the fun.

I'm going to do a video on this when I start my second YouTube channel. I think the Porsche Turbo S is the greatest daily driving supercar on the planet ever created.

And they have that marriage with Volkswagen.

Yes.

Which is also kind of similar.

Porsche has always been Porsche. They've always been Porsche.

They've always been reliable. In terms of. like supercars, they're like the most reliable by far.

The most boring supercars, but the greatest.

Well, not the GT3 or the GT3 RS.

Okay, yeah, I'm not factoring in those. I look at those more like track weapons.

Yeah, but they're still willing to make a six-speed GT3.. And then the ST, which is the new one, that's six-speed as well.

I like the Sports Classic.

Yeah, that's nice too.

The six-speed with the ducktail.

Yeah, they're still willing to make some driver-centric cars. And there's a giant market for them. Like that GT3 Touring, they can't keep that in stock.

Even though I think the GT3 Touring is kind of, maybe because I like the wing of the original GT3.. So, the last thing I want is one without the wing. I'm like, if I'm going to do it without the wing, just give me a turbo.

Spoken like a true Lamborghini driver.

I mean, pretty much. Pretty much.

Yeah, there's a bunch of cars that just don't get what they deserve, you know. Yeah, I mean, I went down a rabbit hole last night. Wow, that's amazing. I went down a rabbit hole last night with the Lexus LC500..

See, you say that, I hear LFA.

LFA is amazing. Yeah. But people are doing wild shit with the LC500, where they're putting wide-body kits on them and straight pipes. And they sound insane.

Well, I think it's because of the LFA. Because I think once the LFA didn't do as well as they expected it to do.

Yeah.

Because again, I think they just overpriced it. Because the market just wasn't ready for a fucking, what was it, like? $200,000? More, I think it was more. Well, now it is. Yeah. Because now it's like collectible.

But I think, even out of the box, I think it was three.

Oh, it was like three? Yeah. For a Lexus, that's still pushing it. That's the thing.

It's a label thing, right? Yep. Like, if you want to pull up in a $300,000 car, it's going to be a Ferrari.

Exactly. It's how they got away with selling yours.

Yeah. Look at that. Look at that motherfucker.

Okay, that almost looks like an 812..

Look at that fucking thing. That's with the wide-body kit on it. That's amazing.

That is pretty badass.

Yeah, but you can only get that up to like 550 horsepower with a lot of modification.

Are they turbo?

No, it's a V8, but it sounds incredible.

Natural aspirated?

Yes. Oh, okay. Yeah, it sounds incredible. I didn't know they were natural aspirated. And the interior is insane.

Lexus has always done interiors well.

See if you can find a video of one with a wide-body, because there's some awesome videos of them. Because there's a lot of people doing these now. Because they've been out for like, what, like six, seven years now? Yeah. There's a lot of people doing wide-body kits with them.

That's kind of a nasty setup.

That's a nasty looking car, man. Ew. But with the wide-body setup, you know, you're getting a wider stance, you're getting wider fat tires.

I'm not a fan of the wing.

The wing's, you know, it's polarizing.

I think wings are 50-50.. They either work or they don't.

I think it looks great on black cars.

Yes.

I think if you get it on the white car, it looks a little sus.

Yeah, it's a little too disjointed.

But I saw one that was matte black with a wing. It looked fucking insane with the wide-body kit. And then he had it set up with a remote control for the pipes. So you could have it even more silent than stock. You could have it like it is stock, or you could have straight pipes. Oh. Yeah.

I've never, ever put, I've never done aftermarket exhaust on any car I've ever owned. Really? No. I never get to it, because all that happens, like I'm a car whore.

So you swap them out?

Yes, by the time, but the thing is I do a bunch of other stuff, right? Like, I'll tune them, I'll wrap them, I'll put all types of security features, I'll put that, all that crap. Radar detectors, blockers, all that nonsense. But then, when it's time to get ready to do the aftermarket exhaust, I'm like, ooh, what's that?

There's some California fucking politician that was just trying to pass a bill to make it so you can't go more than 10 miles an hour over the speed limit in a car.

Yeah, he should be fired.

He's also one of the same guys that was a part of, there was this very controversial LBG, this guy.

Yes, Wiener. He would be called that.

But this guy is also the same guy that was pushing for some very controversial law about the, so there's a difference between, but they're trying to, yes, Scott Wiener. He's kind of a freak. Scott Wiener's kind of a freak. There's pictures of him with a dog collar on at a gay pride parade. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Exactly.

Yeah, that guy.

So that guy was also part of some very, that's him.

He looks like a skinnier version of Jerry from Subway.

Yeah, so he's got a leather vest on with a tie with no shirt at the gay pride parade, which is, you know, have a good time.

Do you.

Who cares? Have a good time.

But you're pushing it with this over 10..

But he was a part of some very, there was a very controversial bill that people were trying to misinterpret, but it was, it was about age of consent. And they were saying that age of consent, that there was some part about the way the law was structured, that was discriminating against LBGT people.

Okay.

Yeah, that's what I thought. I was like, what are you trying to say? So, apparently there's some discretion with age gaps when it comes to heterosexual couples. So like, say, if like a girl is 16 in California, she'd be underage and a boy is 18.. What if they started dating when the boy was 17,, the girl was 15 and the guy turns 18?? It's technically illegal. So if they go to go to a judge, like a judge could say, listen, this is not a pedophile. This is a young couple. But if the guy's 40 and the girl's 16, now you got a real problem.

So that's interesting. you say that because I got into kind of a little bit of shit in my law school class when I was in law school one time when we were talking about statutory rape.

Even if they lie. Yeah.

And I didn't think that was fair, personally.

Well, to your point, I have a friend and his sister's friends. They're in California. His sister's friends are 15.. And he's got this giant issue because the 15 year old friends are using fake IDs and going to L.A. clubs. They're fucking sophomores in high school and they're getting into L.A. clubs with fake IDs.

And you wouldn't be able to tell.

You cannot tell when they're. they've hit puberty and they're wearing makeup and they're wearing sexy clothes and they're going out. I'm sorry to say, sexy about 15.. You know, I'm saying from a stereotypical aspect of understanding what exactly like that. And if you're a guy and you don't know any better, it's that's crazy.

Yeah. And we're not even talking like they're 15 and they look 17.. Right. They look like 25..

Yeah. You know, you can be very deceptive as a young person if you're properly dressed and if you have good genetics. You know.

At the same time, I still understand the basis behind the strict liability aspect of law as well, because it's like you want to go above and beyond to protect the youth.

100%.

Right. So at the time, I guess I didn't articulate it the right way.

Yeah.

All I was saying was like, that doesn't seem fair. I understand it still does. I wish that, like, there needs to be some type of discernment given with respect to the context, the entire context of the situation.

Well, there's some wild unfair laws in California, and one of them has to do with whether or not you are the father of a child.

If we're just going to be honest, child support, by and large, it's a business relationship between the mother, most times, between the mother and the state. Because it's not like the child support office doesn't take a portion of the money that's being paid. Right. Right. So they're incentivized to have as many people on child support as possible, regardless of the context and the situation. So the state is not your friend in that respect. So, understanding that, it just blows my mind that you can have a situation like that where he doesn't even have a choice in the matter. Right. Right. Because there are some—I know there will be a good number of men who would say, you know what? I don't like it. I'm done fucking with you as far as the mother. But, you know, I still want to do what I can to help with the child. But when you put him in a position where he doesn't even have a choice in the matter—.

Well, the dude that we're talking about was struggling, too. My man was struggling. He was not—and he's gone, too, now, so I can talk about this. But he was struggling. He was not doing well. And he had a monthly nut that he was obligated to pay. And he tried to—you know, his career was in the shitter. It wasn't going well. And he had monthly—and he could get jailed. It's crazy. Like, it's— Everything's crazy about it. It was his friend. Everything's awful about it.

I'm laughing to avoid getting pissed.

I'll tell you who it is afterwards.

Okay.

Because it's going to blow your mind. But remind me. Okay. But the whole story behind it is so sad because the guy loved his friend. And then, after the friend's dead, he finds out the friend fucked his wife and got her pregnant. And then he was raising that kid as his own. So much of it is awful.

Yeah. And then nothing—I think—I think—I don't know. I think if that's the—I think the woman should be forced to pay alimony to the husband in that situation. I don't know.

I don't know about alimony, but I just don't—.

I just think there should be some level of punishment as a result of it. If you're going to force him to pay child—now, he's probably going to end up canceling himself out, right? Because it's kind of backwards. It's just me wanting some type of retribution for him. Right. Because it's like, she just gets away with this scoffery. Mm-hmm. Like, there's nothing.

Like, it's— She didn't just get away with it. She enforced it. She went to court for it, after the fact. After the fact, she went to court and won.

Come on.

I know. It's so awful. And meanwhile, this guy is living with the heartbreak of his friend's betrayal, his friend's death first, then his friend's betrayal, and then his wife's betrayal, and then the financial obligations that he has that he can't afford. It gets even worse in Canada. Dave Foley, who is my friend from news radio, when he was married, his wife and him got divorced when he was at the peak of his career. So he's making the most money he's ever going to make. He's on a sitcom. It's his sitcom. He's doing really well. And he had a certain amount that he had to pay. And in Canada, when his income dropped substantially, because, you know, you just can't have a fucking sitcom all the time. Yeah. If you're lucky, you get one your whole life. Yeah. The judge said to him, your ability to pay has no relationship to your obligation to pay. So this exorbitant amount of money that he was paying, because at one point in time he was doing really well, that is how much you have to figure out how to make forever.

Or what?

Or you go to jail.

You see how stupid that is? It's crazy. It's dumb. If the point of the point of this, if the point of, oh God, I'm blanking out here. If the point of child support is so that the child isn't supposed to be in the best interest of the child and making sure that the child is provided for. Yes. Why would you then create the very circumstance that would inevitably end up ripping the father away, not only just the father, but then also the money that could be going to the child, whether or not it's the actual amount you established beforehand or not.

Right.

Just lower the damn payments. If you have justification for determining, you know what, he can't make these payments anymore. Let's lower it to a payment he can make, while still allowing the father to be in a child's life and have some type of money going in. Do that shit. Yeah. Like just arbitrary idea that, no, we set a million dollars for you to pay every month of this child. You can't pay for it. We're going to throw you in jail because it's in the best interest of the child. Don't get me started on this. Don't get me started on this, Joe.

It's like, there's a lot of aspects of the law that were written in good faith that, like child support, is one of them. Yeah. Like, if you're a father, fuck yeah, you should pay for your kids. 100%. But then, when you get into situations like that, wait, wait a minute. How much? A hundred thousand a month.

You don't need that.

Whatever it is. Like. that's crazy. You don't need that. Well, that's the weird thing about alimony as well. You have to maintain the lifestyle. So, like someone becomes accustomed to a lifestyle. Like, say, if you're married to Bill Gates, if you get divorced from Bill, say if you're only married to Bill for a year or two, if you get divorced, like you're entitled to a large sum of money, unless there's some sort of prenuptial agreement, which I'm sure there is. But if there's not, you're accustomed to a lifestyle. She's used to caviar and private jets.

Now, you know why I live in Texas, brother. It's a man state.

Well, it's a great state in a lot of ways. And I was having a conversation with Ari today where I was trying to convince Ari to move here when we're at the range.

Wait, hold on. Was it really Ari's first time ever shooting?

I don't know if he shot guns before.

Because I think that's, I think I remember him saying that.

It seemed like it was his first day at first.

And then you're fucked up, dude. If that's his first time shooting and the first time he shoots is with staccatos, you're fucked up.

Oh yeah, I know, right?

You're fucked up, bro.

You're so spoiled. That is the smoothest shooting gun that's ever existed. If that's what you have.

That's true.

Yeah, Jamie's ruined. Jamie has a staccato. You have a CS, right? I didn't get it yet. Oh, you didn't get it yet? What are you doing, Jamie? Oh, Jesus Christ.

You gotta get on it, man.

I thought you got one. We were gonna. Okay, listen.

What are you carrying in your little fanny pack? CS. You're carrying a CS? Yeah. See, I carry a CS. I'm carrying a CS right now.

CS is nice. Yeah. So small and so light, and it's amazing.

And it shoots so much bigger than what it actually is.

So flat. The recoil is so non-existent. It's so smooth in the hand. I love that damn gun. When we went to the factory today. So we should tell everybody. We went to the staccato factory and we toured it for an hour. And I didn't even know we were gonna tour the factory. I thought we were just gonna go to the range. But they wanted to show. They're so proud of their manufacturing process. That they wanted to show it to us. It's amazing how much effort is into each gun and how much engineering.

The enthusiasm they had for you today is the same enthusiasm when they were in that little tiny spot. Because I did the tour when they were at the older building.

I did too. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I basically saw the same thing twice. But now I see the big version of it. Yeah. It's pretty fucking amazing. It is. It's amazing.

I really genuinely love staccatos.

Yeah. Well, I love engineering. I love when someone just does something to the best they can do it. When they're explaining that it's 24 hours of work just to port one piece. And that they're literally down to, the tolerance is one third of the width of a human hair. That's their tolerance. Anything more than that. they throw it away.

That's crazy.

That's wild.

I can't even really fathom that shit.

And when you see all the computer controlled machinery and all this shit. Yeah. This is the manufacturing. This is the old one. That's the.

That's the. Is it? Is it? Yeah. That's the old shop.

I think it's the old shop. What year is this video from?

Go pull my video up. I did. I did a video on it.

Yeah. The. I think, the video. I think.

Put Coley on the bar. GT3..

The XC. There we go. You were just saying the XTs. That's my favorite too. The XCs, insane. It's so good. So that's when you went to. That's when it was. Yeah. Just. Just a little. That was the beginning of it. Yes.

Yeah. That's when they. Yeah. Because we drove down there with Dallas Porsche Park Place. And.

Yeah.

So this is the new place. No, that's the old place.

Oh, that's the old place.

That's the old place. Yeah. Yeah.

This like looks exactly like the new place.

I can't remember when I did this video. It was like two years ago. Two and a half years ago. A year ago. OK. Yeah. But yeah. So I did the XC. I was. When it came out. I think I was one of the first people to do a video on it. I went to the. That's when I. That's when I went and shot at their facility, when it was still a ghetto.

It's not true. Yeah.

I think, whatever your skill level is with with a non 2011.. I think a 2011 will raise it in terms of shoot ability, because they're so easy to shoot. I call them cheat codes.

Yeah. And with a red dot.

Exactly. You throw red on there and it's just game over. Yeah.

I mean, we're shooting those plates. It's just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

So now think about a self-defense situation. Think about how revved up you're going to be. Adrenaline dumping. The last thing you need to be worried about are your shooting fundamentals. Right. You just want to feel comfortable and know I can do that with this gun to protect myself. Yes. And that's it. Call it a day. Yeah. And that's why I really love, love. So I carry it majority of the time, unless I can't because of what I'm wearing. Because I have a whole rotation of guns that I carry for based on what I'm wearing. But by and large, if I'm going to go to something initially, it's going to go to that first. And then, if I can't, then I'll go to something else.

Have you seen that concealed carry holster? It goes deep under your pants and you have like a leather strap. Yeah. And you pull it up and it raises up. What do you think about that?

I'm not a fan. So I've tried so many variations of different ways to carry. I've even done your way with a fanny pack deal. And I do, I like that for when I'm running. Right. And I know I make, I poke fun at it. But largely the reason why I don't like it day to day is because I don't really like having a lot of stuff on my waist. I like to just have one single thing. And especially if it's kind of big. So I like to minimize the footprint. Because, like I'm usually like, I'm in sweats 90% of the time. Right. So like with these sweats that I'm wearing right now, like they're designed for that. And so I just take, I have my gun, have the belt, dump them in the pants. I'm good to go. And they're comfortable as shit. And so for me, that's generally how, that's 99.9% of the way that I carry. Unless it's like in a bag or something.

It's funny that this conversation is so normal with you and I. But if you have this conversation with people from California, they'll look at you like you're fucking insane. Like what, you carry a gun?

Yeah.

Well, it's also like there's a reality. Like here's one thing. Like constitutional carry. When my friends from California found out that constitutional carry was passed in Texas. So anyone can conceal carry. As long as you're not a criminal. Yeah. When they saw that, they're like, what? Yeah. Are you crazy? But wasn't that recently just passed in Ohio and crime went down? Down. Went down.

Yep.

Yes. Yeah. Which is interesting.

Because it's a counterintuitive logic. Right. Because if your starting point is if you make guns illegal, then nobody will have guns. Then yeah. I guess you could make the argument that. Yeah.

If nobody broke the law ever. Right. Including criminals. Exactly.

What a fucking naive perspective. But people think like that. Right.

But if you think you're going to rob anybody, and then now, all of a sudden there's constitutional carry and anyone can have a gun on them.

That means your job as a criminal has become substantially harder. Substantially. Yeah. Yeah. Because criminals don't want to die either.

Right.

Right. And criminals are largely looking for easy targets. Like, if you're going to go into the business of crime, you don't want it to be hard, because if you did, you would just get a normal job. Right. Right. So from that perspective, if they don't know who's carrying.

But if everyone's heavily armed, you're way less likely. It sounds so.

It sounds counterintuitive.

It sounds not just counterintuitive, but it also sounds like anti-progressive in terms of like society and, you know, people being civilized. It sounds anti-civilized. Everyone having a gun.

What does that mean? Who said that pacifism was supposed to be the definition of civility?

Right. Well, that's also like if you're not able to protect yourself, that doesn't make you a more virtuous person. It doesn't. And a virtuous person with a gun does not have different objectives. You're still the same person. Exactly. You're still a good person, but you also are protected. You have something that if the shit hits the fan.

That you can protect yourself.

That's my perspective.

I do think that there are a lot of people who are anti. It's a projection. I've seen this. And what the projection is, is largely because, inevitably, if you talk to them long enough, they'll tell you. I don't trust myself with a firearm, so why would I trust you?

Yes, that's it. Right. They don't want other people to have guns. I've heard that before. By the way, those people, when the shit hit the fan in LA, those were people asking me for guns. I had friends asking me, can I borrow a gun?

Yeah. That don't surprise me at all.

I go, well, if you lived in Texas, I'd just give you one. I'd just give you a gun.

Exactly. But I can't because of the laws. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it's easy to call it delusion, but that's essentially what it is. It is delusion. It's delusion, right? And we have it too easy. Yeah. We live in probably the best times that you could possibly live as a human on earth right now. Yeah, I agree.

Maybe like five years ago, was better. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's true.

That's true. Pre-COVID, pre-economy crash.

We live in relative peace.

Relative peace. I mean, on a curve, it's pretty. I mean, if you look at a graph of over the history of the Mongol invasion, the Inquisition. Think about the shit we were doing.

Yeah. I'm like, dude, I don't want to live in a different era.

No.

I don't want to live in different. Like, I love the 80s. I love the 80s to death. I'm an 80s boy. I would not want to live in the 80s. Fuck that.

Imagine driving those stupid cars.

Oh my God. They have personality, though. They have personality.

The fuck out of here.

Cars have personality.

Bro, if I lived in the 80s, I'd have a 1960s car. 100%. Because in the 1980s, I had a 1960s car.

I always talk myself out of getting one of those old school muscle cars. Every time. I want one, but I always talk myself out of it.

Bro, drive one of mine. Next time. Next time you come into town, drive my Camaro.

Okay.

Yeah. Which one is a restomod. Okay. Jamie, pull up my 1969 Roadster Shop Camaro. Let me see this shit. Let me see. Let you see this murdered out. 1969 Camaro with 850 horsepower. Oh, nice. In a modern suspension. Big ass fat tires. That's my car. Oh God. Volume. Volume. Jesus. That's my car.

Dude, that is literally how I would do it. Yes.

That's how you do it.

That is.

Listen to that, motherfucker. Wee. Oh, yeah.

That is sexy.

And that car drives like a modern car. Like that car has incredible brakes, incredible handling.

Six feet?

Yes. What am I, a communist? Stop it. Look at that thing. Come on, man. If you're going to get one of those cars. I mean, I don't hate one of those cars in an automatic. But I always like.

I mean, I get it. I think if I had. That is beautiful.

Yeah, man. You could drive one of these, too.

You would love it. HRU wheels?

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Giant fat tires. Then again, this is cheating. I don't get any other color car, but black. So you can usually make me happy if you murder anything out.

Don't make me pull up my 1970 silver Barracuda because you'd change your tune on that.

Let me see that.

Okay. Let me see that. Because I got another roadster shop car. Really? Yeah, three roadster shop cars. And one of them is a 1970 Barracuda. This is my Barracuda.

Wait, you see this, motherfucker.

Come on, son.

That interior is nice.

Listen to this.

Oh, that is some real restomod shit.

That. Yeah. I see what you're saying. That has a Mercury racing engine in it that goes to 9,000 RPM. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like an exotic.

Okay. All right.

All right.

Oh, that sounds beautiful.

Don't tell me, you wouldn't drive a silver car. Come on, bro.

I would. I would just wrap it. I would just wrap it black.

Listen, I love that car the way it is, but if that car was in matte black, it would be fucking sick. Matte black.

I matte black everything.

Yeah, matte black.

I matte black everything. It's nice. It's the only color I like.

Yeah.

I do like white. I like white with black wheels.

Did you matte black your Lamborghini?

Not yet. It will be. Is it shiny right now? It's shiny right now.

Still nice, shiny. I probably won't have it longer than a year. Really?

Yeah. I mean, that's what I do. I have to get rid of it, and that's like basically drove it for free and then get something else.

That's good, too, so you don't experience the bullshit.

Yeah. I didn't realize that until, like, I always think that cars are just kind of like depreciating assets. Not if you buy them right.

Not exotics.

Yeah, not exotics.

Yeah, you actually make money if you buy Ferraris. Like, look at that. Is that yours? Yeah, that's my Turbo S.

Oh. Yeah. Goddamn. That's before I wrapped it black. Right now, it's gloss black.

Yeah, but look at that thing. Yeah. My God.

I just love the stance. The stance is so sexy.

Well, it's also as fast as you can get an internal combustion engine car. It's like basically electric car speeds, but with superior handling. The way that thing handles, it's like it's a cheetah running up a tree.

But like I told you, how quickly we get used to it. I'm already talking about tuning it. I want to tune it.

That's nuts.

It's, you know, it's dumb. I mean, I did, the last time I came, I came to Austin. I think it was like on a day, on, you know, a recent freeze. Well, it was supposed to be a freeze. Yeah. And it didn't really happen the way everybody thought it was going to happen. It wasn't like freezing or Armageddon. So, I came. Why did I come to Austin? I forgot. I came here for something. Oh, yeah. It was to look at the car. To look at the Lambo or whatever. And so, I drove in the middle of the night. And I drove from Dallas to Austin. And I think I averaged speed-wise.

Don't say it over the air. Huh? You're going to get in trouble.

Oh. Prove it.

He's lying right now. So, go ahead and lie. All right.

So, let's just say I maintained a really exciting amount of speed that was within legal speed limits. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. From Dallas to Austin in the most beautiful way possible.

Yeah.

And it was what blew my mind. And the beautiful thing about the Turbo S is, even if it did start snowing or raining or whatever, it's all wheel drive.

Yeah.

So, but for like ice, right? Because ice is ice.

It's not so good with snow either with those fat tires.

True, but I still have all wheel drive. Yeah. So, I could manage. You can get around. Yeah.

I'm worried about other people, especially people in Austin. When we had the freeze here two years ago, I was watching people slide around. I was like, you don't know what the fuck you're doing. As a kid who grew up in Boston, I used to drive every day because I delivered newspapers. Yeah. So, I had to drive 365 days a year. So, I know how to drive in snow. Like, I really know how to drive in snow.

Did I tell you my story about the first time I ever had to drive in snow ice? No. I never told you?

No.

Oh, boy. This was like, this was okay. So, this was back when I was with the NRA, right? And so, I just, you know, the NRA had their agency of record, which was Ackerman McQueen. And so, I was working through them. And they were the main offices in Oklahoma City. So, a lot of times they would have us go down to Oklahoma City for meetings and stuff like that. And so, I had a Dallas office one time. I had, like a 2000, I think it was a 2010 Range Rover HSE, right? Supercharged.

How far is the drive?

About two and a half hours, three hours. Oh, okay. So, we were getting ready to get to, checking out our hotel. And then we were getting ready to get back on the road. And then the lady's, like, you know, they closed the freeway down. You know, they like salting free or whatever. They closed whatever freeway down. So, we're like, we're cool. We'll just take the back roads.

Yeah.

So, I'm in. And I'm like, I'm in a fucking Range Rover. I'll be all right. So, I'm in the Range Rover. And it's ice. It's not even snow. It's really ice. It's just like the whole roads are just sheets of ice.

Right?

So, I'm like, if I drive slow and careful, we'll be good. So, we're driving. We're driving. And at a certain point, we realized it was probably not the smartest idea in the world. Because now, you know, like usually it's kind of like patch of ice, regular road, patch of ice, regular road. No. This was at a point now where it was like straight ice. Remember, they don't salt the back roads. Yeah. So, we're driving and there's like this embankment. Like, yeah. And I'm like, as long as I go slow, I should be good. Keep in mind, I'm a novice at this. I've never driven in this type of condition ever in my life. Right? So, I'm just thinking I'll have a Range Rover if I want to drive. You know, not realizing your tires are what matter at that time. And so, at this point, we go in there and I can feel the car kind of shake a little bit. And I'm like, okay, that's not good. So, just slow down a little bit. Just keep doing it. Keep doing it. And then it snaps. The car starts spinning on the embankment. So, now we're heading straight into the ditch. So, the truck is spinning. We're heading into the ditch. And we hit the ditch and I come in backwards. And so, you know those moments when shit happens and you just kind of have to sit there for a second to take it in? And then figure out what the hell is going on? That's what happened. And in that time period, because in my mind, I'm like, how the fuck are we going to get out of this? This isn't like something I can drive out of.

You could freeze to death out there.

Exactly. And so, we're sitting in there and I'm like, I don't know how we're going to get out of this. And before I could finish the thought and process it, I look to my right and there's a big-ass tractor coming down the road. And it was a guy who owned a farm who was basically sat there and saw what happened. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought he was sliding in here.

No, no, no, no, no, no. He was coming to help us, to pull us out. Oh. So, he comes over and he's like, looks like y'all are in a bit of a pickle. And I was like, yeah, something like that. And he goes, ain't this fancy truck four-wheel drive? And I was like.

Four-wheel drive with sport tires.

Exactly. He was just giving me shit. Yeah. And so, I was like, yeah. And he just started laughing. He's like, I'll have you out in five minutes. So, he hooked us up, pulled us out. He's like, stay at the very top, ride. that, and you'll be good. So, we did that. But the thing is, ICE was still there. So, that three-hour trip took us 10 hours.

Oh, my God.

I literally, I think we did 10 miles an hour, 10 to 15 miles an hour the entire way.

Lucky you didn't run out of gas, too.

Exactly. And the funny thing is, when we got back into ICE, I dropped my co-worker off at his place. And then, as I was pulling up to my building, my brakes went out.

Just died? Yeah.

Because I was riding them the entire way. Oh, wow. And so, I guess they were just like, we're done. And when I tell you they couldn't have gone out at a more perfect time, I pulled into my building, got into my parking spot. And as I was trying to pull into the parking spot, they just went out. Now, I had enough friction to get it to slow down, because I was at a slower speed. But at that point, so basically, I had to use the handbrake. Wow.

Did you see this video? A couple days ago, Missouri. No. On an icy hill. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. I didn't see this.

Oh, shit.

Oh, wow.

Didn't hit anything else. It's a different angle. They got lucky.

Very lucky.

Look at that thing spill.

Dude, and there's nothing you can do.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. When I was a kid, I lived on a hill in Newton, Massachusetts. And me and my sister's boyfriend sat on the roof and watched people slide down our hill and crash. We called the cops. We said, hey, man, you should probably close the street down. Close the street down, yeah. It was like five cars in a row spun out, bounced off the curb, went into ditches. We were just watching people try to come down the hill and just slide completely out of control.

Dude, it's—and you made a good point. It's—when you're—like now, I feel like I'm—you know, with all the traveling I do, you know, I've driven from Dallas to Utah, to New Mexico. I've driven in ice. I've driven in snow. So I'm pretty comfortable with it now, even though I still don't really like it.

There's nothing you can do about ice, though.

There's nothing. But there's also, what you pointed out, was other people. Yeah. So now that's what makes me nervous, because I'm like—I remember when we had the freeze apocalypse or whatever in Dallas. Yeah, I got in my truck and went out there and started kind of driving around, because I kind of, you know, I kind of knew what I was doing. Yeah. But I was always—I was always constantly looking in my rearview mirror, because there's going to be some dumbass who's going way too fast and doesn't realize that you can't stop at the same distance on ice patches. And they're going to just— Right. Right into me. Yeah. And so I was like, this isn't funny anymore. So I just went back inside.

In Austin, they don't even have plows. They don't.

Because of how you said shit.

But that's crazy. Yeah. You should have a few. It seems like it happens.

Let me tell you, that Texas arrogance, 99% of the time. it's a great thing. There's that other 1% where it's like, all right, stop being stupid.