Ilana Glazer

Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman. a Lily Padman, Hey, Lily, a Lily. Alana Glazer is our guest today.

Yeah, it's in theaters now and it's getting like great, great reviews and stuff. Yes, this reminds me of just this intro. the other day I was going to bed listening to a podcast and I normally do sleep timer to end of episode, But I forgot and I fell asleep, and when I woke up it was us.

Oh boy, what a nightmare us. do you feel like you were late for work? I was so confused. Oh, my god, so well, please enjoy Alana Glazer.

I kind of don't even remember. Remember, yeah, I remember so little in my life in 2019.. It was scary pandemic, you know, But I believe that I wasn't ready. You weren't ready. It always happens when it's supposed to have agreed.

How tall are you? Can I ask five, one and a half? I do that. I'm five feet and a half. They're exactly one inch taller than me, cute T.

Oh, so same incredible hug. Oh, my god. Thank you so much. How are you six, two and a half? Yeah, and that's all, it's Kristen, five one.

But for you guys to say five, one and a half, and mine to say five and a half, We get it. for me to say six, two and a half doesn't sound a little egregious.

I think it's a life bet. that's funny and worth keeping. Okay, and you were born in 1987.. Did I catch that correctly? Yes,

Don't think you're doing an intake form.

And you've been married for six years. Did I get that? And we are year of the rabbit in the Chinese calendar, you know.

Really? Yeah, how old are you? Maybe that's the same 57.

1975. Wow, cool, Wow.

So maybe that explains the connection, because on the surface money and I are very different.

But there's a rhythm, and it might be the rhythm of the rabbit. It honestly is that rabbit energy, which I'm already feeling already. Oh my gosh, we're all the bunny energy. And then also we're like willing to go back. I'm like, hold on, put a pin.

Okay, because I watch an interview with you and you were in the backyard of an LA residence on zoom and you were Talking about how pleasant it was outside, and then I thought oh, did you get a place here? or did you know move here? Were you here for an extended period of time at all? I was when I was pregnant.

I was filming the after-party in Apple TV Plus by Lord Miller. Yes, I had them. Oh, they're so delicious. There's just such good guys. good guys meets good quality art.

Wow, I guess what I'm saying is just like there's so much charisma there between the two of them. They're cute and they're that talented. Yeah, they're really cute. Yeah.

Sorry, also curly and straight. we got like variety. Uh-huh. I mean, it's like cute. Yeah, wait.

Are you good friends with Darcy? Very good. Very old. Okay, Darcy is so Darcy vibes. Oh.

Yes, she is Kinetic, magnetic, never forget it really, and I'm trying to make that work, but it didn't. Did you guys meet at UCB? Yes, 18 years ago. Whoa 2006, exactly.

I don't know, but we will look. Rob. Will you look up and see?

That is when I enter comedy in New York, I really want that also be the year of the rabbit.

Even if it's not yes, rabbit, not dog.

Dogs great. I'm also a dog, for sure. What animals do you guys identify? Oh, I love this question.

I'm always asking Dax's question. He always says the wrong answer about me. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's rough. What do you say, chinchilla?

You are not representing me fairly at all. Okay, tell your side of the story. Well, I have said a fox, you're clever.

Oh, that's nice. That's hot. Foxes are hot. Yeah, foxes are hot. I think maybe I made you say something.

I was like, can you say one? that's positive? That's not insulting, but somehow that debate landed on me Saying that perhaps Monica was a sex chinchilla, Sex, chinchilla, it had to be sex. It was. is there any way you can say sex and then an animal?

So Long Island starts with Brooklyn. consider, New York City, Queens, consider, New York City. Then really Long Island is two counties Nassau and Suffolk. Long Island is the experimental ground for the suburbs. The first suburbs were literally invented on Long Island.

Suffolk remains primarily white. Is that one the distal end of it for this from New York City?

That's where the Hamptons are. on the Forks, which the Hamptons are totally separate from Long Island. It's almost only for Real Housewives to be filmed. It's a theme park. Yes.

Exactly. My introduction was Fitzgerald West Egg.

And that's Nassau before real families moved out there, when wealthy people from the city would move further and further east for their beach towns. So my town, actually st. James, was a beach town during the 20s. Stanford white is a famous architect in New York who his beach House was in my town, and then I did musical theater with his great-grandson. How close to the water were you?

15-minute drive. and were you there frequently? Is it a big part of childhood? huge? So beautiful.

I love Long Island so much. It is so gorgeous And I remember bringing to my best friends Inti and Matt from college to Long Island. We took the LIRR out and they could not believe it. such a special Northeast, like rocky beaches, and we would go to the beach all the time.

I have the same thing and I had the pride of taking Monica to Lake Michigan, And I think people are like hold on a second. This is an ocean and I can drink it. It's fresh water, crazy. Yeah, it's pretty, and I have a lot of pride in that.

I don't think I've ever been there and I really want to, cuz you know, Kristen did one of my political messaging videos and talked about her love of her. also home state, Michigan, and damn, Did she sell it? I was like shit. I want to go to Michigan beach. You gotta go in the summer.

Let's be fair. She could have probably put a really good spin on Name shitty place. I'm too nervous to mention one now. Shitty places.

So cute and likeable. I also wanted to really quick say so Jews are in Nassau. I was with Italians in Suffolk Italians of white people, third, fourth, fifth generation, like white European, like potato Farmers, ancestors and like truly mafia. Oh, that's what I've heard you say being in someone's house and being like.

I think this is a mafia.

Okay, and also, being like I had planned a sleepover, You would pull the cord, you would bounce, shiver in my sleeping bag and be like very uncomfortable. That was my vibe.

I want to go in the other way, out of it. Like, I feel so safe here. The dad is a murderer. if shit goes down, he is well, I'm your gold. what year was?

We didn't have HBO, so I hadn't seen the Sopranos until the pandemic, but it definitely was bolstering a vibe.

Yeah, it's like guys. you're gonna be so mad at me, But I do have to stop and ask a very important question, since you grew up at the beach and you can answer this too, if you'd like. but it's a question that came up on sinks, a show that we also have under our umbrella with Liz Plank, and Liz thinks that Everyone knows this piece of information that when you get in water and you're on your period, your period stops. Did you know that?

Yes, what you didn't know that. No, I'm so sorry. We are systematically kept from knowing our own bodies.

So it's like not my fault. Okay. Thank you. I like that spin on it. But also I was sure that not very many people knew that.

It doesn't. you don't want to track predators gravity literally, you don't want blood leaking out of you when you are in the ocean. It's not advisable. Yeah, I mean that's what they say. The shark can smell blood.

If you're on your period, don't go near sharks and bears and bears. That's, that's not in water bears thing.

I'm like for real. No, it's for real, and I'll tell you how I know. First movie I did was with Bart the bear. He wasn't the star, but he was in it and they flew him down. Do you know Bart the very, very famous, a big actor?

I am dying, Bart the bear cuz. I love Coco, and we don't talk about Coco enough, the gorilla. Yes. Okay, go on.

I'm just taking it in. Okay, so, Doug has these insane eyes. I can attest to it. He can do with this bear that a human cannot do with a bear, right? This is a side note.

He's the happiest bear. Sometimes acting isn't all you think it is like. sometimes it's traveling.

Worse than what you think it is, which is why I'm sickened.

You'll also be happy to know that Bart regularly mauls the people that he works, So if that helps you feel like the scales are balanced.

I just hear you were present for this.

Scary. Oh, I'm gonna hit you with a knockout punch. Second rule do not look Bart in the eyes. Well, duh. third.

I don't like the intimacy between Doug and Bart. Oh, you think it's inappropriate. It makes me uncomfortable. They love each other for sure. I'm also like does Bart have a checking account?

Yes, I think Doug manages his money for him. Bart is terrible at math. He would make a mess of his finances.

Also, I don't think it's inappropriate, but I think it's a little worrisome for Doug, because it's like what's the tiger guy? He's so not like that guy, though. But what's that guy's name? I forgot the tiger, the tiger guy who got killed by his tiger.

No, he didn't get killed. Okay, he got. you're thinking of. you're thinking of Siegfried and Roy. I'm talking about.

No, no, no, no, I'm not.

Yeah, not Joe, we've lost him. are you joking? I'm not. oh, I think famously the woman in the dock.

He's alive.

Mainly to all women. I was, like some woman, killed.

Okay, I want to know about a little Alana. in elementary school, in the Italian working class, You didn't answer if your parents were in insurance and finance, if I got that right or wrong.

So my dad sells life insurance and my mom doesn't work. She did telemarketing at night when I was a kid.

What was she slinging? I don't know. Have you ever done some telemarketing? I mean, I've done sales.

Okay, we're at a company that we based my character's job on in Broad City. It was called life booker and it was a weird pyramid scheme for spas. Oh, are you not selling these appointments? These are slow hours. offer them on our website for cheaper.

Were you a closer? I'm being serious. He must have been your personable.

You move product a little. if it wasn't a good deal. I was like, oh, I don't blame you, It's hard for me to lie. I actually did that job with Abby Jacobson and Lucia on yellow, and Lucia got me the job No way, and I was actually selling whatever shitty appointments in LA, and it was harder for me to grasp the vibe here.

But probably less guilt for sure. You're like these fucking LA people. It's so far away that it was more distant. You'd be humanized. Yeah.

I was funny, desperate to be funny and really hoping to be liked, very anxious and thus Productive, meaning you were a good student and more socially aware. building relationship. Yeah, actually, my first grade teacher came to one of my shows on my tour in Seattle And she was telling me how I used to in first grade, Organize the kids and get everybody prepared for what was coming. and it's so funny. My daughter does the same thing at preschool.

So you can't be left behind, you need to be needed. Uh-huh. Oh, can I introduce Elliot's? how much older, four years older?

My brother's five years older. So I have huge little brother syndrome. I wanted to be cool, I want to be worthy of hanging out with, and then I think that just Invaded every aspect of my life. were you at all doing any of that? you adored him, right?

Yeah, obsessed, and we played so much as kids and made a lot of comedy videos as kids, and Then, when he was starting to go through puberty, I was so sad about the distance. I was like bye, Fuck, really wanted to hang and hang with him and his friends and was also like who your friends tell me more your friends? Yeah, but I also feel that I would act like the older sister, too. there was a comfort in being the second. the system had already been set up and So sometimes our roles would switch to.

They drew attention to you in a way that you weren't understanding or comfortable with. Yes, My parents, also being Jewish listeners, should know your titties are.

Yeah, I'm loving it all now. But at the time, oh, but there weren't many Jews. We were a minority in my town and

Culturally, we were too. I was curious where the other kids aware of that. Was there something visually? were they able to identify you as other?

I mean I was a white person and there were people of color in my town, But it was my fro, for sure my Jew fro, that I was like, oh, what do I do? and I was like, lol.

I'm an afro and he double deep.

Truly so, like just that, but really more what it was. culturally, everybody else was so Gendered. the edges were soft. in my family, My brother's gay and he was gay, and Jews are also visibly queer. The women are masculine, the men are feminine, and my parents are chill and they are who they are.

Sure, my body, but you didn't like the attention.

I was confused and I wasn't like. hooking up is Long Island.

Like it wasn't Michigan, like kids were doing insane shit in junior high. it started pretty early. Yes, but I wasn't.

I just said this to my husband the other day. I was like, you know what? I remembered in the commons of the middle school this boy, Dan. I didn't like him, but he comes up to me. I'm in sixth grade and he's like, I just jerked off to you the other night.

I'm actually not shocked. He said that to you as much as I'm shocked. He would admit that in junior high. I don't think dudes where I grew up admitted. They even masturbated so much later.

That's what I'm talking about, with the cultural stuff where it was like.

It was very boys jerking off. Maybe it's already in a lot of movies because our age, right? Maybe they were seeing people own that. it is comforting. though, as much as I'm sorry that that was your experience, It does remind me you can't win.

So now I've done so much therapy that I'm like what an interesting path I've had. I don't have a feeling about it, But I used to be really fucking mad and I used to really mourn the loss of not hooking up. I didn't really do it choicefully and enjoy it until senior year with a really nice boyfriend I was lucky enough to have. I think that would be winning if I was taking pleasure in it Honestly, I didn't masturbate till later either. I was scared as I grew up.

I was rolling around all the time. I loved it.

What if I would be alive, and it's just a time to get to know. yours, like that, to me, is winning either way if You're an ugly duckling, but you're like, you know what? I am sexy. I was so scared all around and I think, no matter what your situation, the way you can win is taking time and space and pleasure.

In yourself, which I did not know how to do. Yeah, the desire to have not been scared makes a ton of sense.

Yeah, but it would have changed your whole life. That's why I'm like wouldn't change a thing.

Yeah, and I'm finding it now. the pleasure in general in all different things, wouldn't change a thing.

Yeah, okay. Well then, when we get to high school, what strata are we in and what are the clicks? Are they generically the ones? I think they are? there are jocks, and then, yeah, I hope kids.

I guess there's jocks. can a person say guido? can a non-italian person say that? that's up to you to decide?

I'll tell you this. I say guido, all the time. There are other white people. You're allowed to let other people. I call my wife a Pollock.

The crowds, the fucking, but like picture jocks, but guidos and cheerleaders. But guido's a Jersey Shore vibe, a little bit totally, and you know, honestly the people in Jersey Shore were from fucking Long Island. No, they weren't. Yes, Jersey is part of the mainland. Long Island is a penis that hangs off of all of the United States.

for the fucking.

There's like musical theater kids, for sure us. queer musical theater kids, queer art kids were you know?

I was a skateboarder, punk rocker, snowboarder. I love it. But I read as a jock, right? Do I trigger you as a jock at all? Isn't that jockey?

You're only a jock if you get hazed.

So, yeah, there's typical groups like that. and where were you in that? you were in the queer theater group.

Yes, but I also had, like a sort of main, generally appealing, somewhat good kids group. Ew. I actually just remembered I was in this group called the positive edge dare had sunk into our brains And we were in an anti-drug group that then everybody ended up drinking and stuff on the trips and it was vaguely Christian. It was so off. Also, like no overnight trips with teachers, let's not do that.

Well, that's a good question. We were a very kind of agnostic family. I think we went to church when we were with our grandparents and I would occasionally develop a friendship with a boy and then My church just trip to the theme park. I'm like, I damn well want to go to that theme park, But I don't know about going to church. So was that happening to you as a Jewish girl?

I was honestly too, creeped out by it all. Yeah, I was not like trying to be a Christian person at all. Neither I was trying to go to Cedar Point. I would do that at camp with Jews and Hebrew school I really loved, because it was just sort of like a Jewy ball-busting nature. if you will see, we're really embracing it, yeah, and I was also always like anointed the token Jew, to like present the Jewish holidays or whatever and talk about literally the Holocaust.

It's very rare for people to feel like you and I do, which is if I could live a single year in my life over and We're gonna be seventh grade, and that's rare. I think most people don't like junior high. eighth grade was good. I'm sweet.

It's almost like when you see kids, their baby selves. They're so unconscious of how themselves they are, and then they are these little kids, and then it's like a self-awareness. So these cliffs of self-awareness.

It's this sweet spot between you have a bit of identity and then yet not too much. Also, you have enough freedom to get in trouble. Yeah, the boys I hung out with. it was like we were doing mischievous stuff. We were vandalizing things and throwing apples at cars, and then, high school, it gets criminal.

Oh, yeah, I also was the president of my class, 11th and 12th grade, which really feels related to comedy to me. You know, it's like I was in the AP classes, But like a C student, not genuinely smart enough to be there, but socially supposed to be there. Right. and the president thing. I remember tasting baked ziti for the prom Experiment.

Yeah, did you ever get to go and eat that Sunday dinner at an Italian friend's home? Oh, yes, constantly.

Are you envious? specifically the breezes? Oh my god, Dominic breezy, Her dad, would make these fresh pizzas literally the mustache that everything and say hey, Sweetheart, bringing me in kissing my face, and I'm just like, oh my god. Yes. So, so good.

Yeah, aliens. and that Sunday dinner, family dinner, and they eat for 17 hours that day. Oh my god.

Yeah, so extended, and it's beautiful, Jenna breezy. Actually, the way she lives now on Long Island, with her family and everybody's helping out her brother and sister, I'm just like damn. that looks good. That's correct. Yeah, tribal.

We were just in India, and there's a weird parallel between the Indians. Yeah, Italians, we figured out.

I think America is very unique in its individualism.

Psychotic, honestly, it's a lot. I don't know that when I go to England, I'm like, it's certainly not the Italian. That's right.

That's true. It ranges England. Have you heard of it?

Hearing that for the first time. did you say England?

I'm trying to understand what the cultural cadence was that you were trying to identify, and it's not a big, passionate, boisterous Sunday.

family.

My Grandma Harriet used to get these giggle fits and we would all just like silently let them pass.

There's a bad. would she ever pee her pants? It's possible. Okay, Being in pain her pants. Oh my god.

She is a sheet around her, you know.

She's sitting on one of those beds that you could close the sheet around just a child, because it was your colonoscopy. Yes, but we started on a bed where I Changed into the outfit and got taken in there, and then I got taken away and then brought back, and they let my mom Just hang and wait on a different bed copy. I don't even know she's in there. I come out of anesthesia and the nurse says to me you mean feel the urge to fart.

Did they really say far or did they say pass? Yes. Oh, that's a good question.

I don't know that. I know, I just cannot imagine. although they deal in farts, man, right might be completely over. Yeah, I say oh, no, I actually don't. and she goes.

Even like your grown son, for that to be your son. That is so cute, Honestly.

Gallons of air out. She peed herself on that bed. I guess so funny.

Did you ever see the pee? No, she just told me. Okay. I didn't know she was walking around with like a big.

I wouldn't even looked in that direction. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it was visible. I would never know. It's like, if you ask me what size my sister's boobs are, no clue.

I know I get that. Don't tell me, I don't get that actually, cuz I look at boobs.

How would you feel about knowing about your brother's penis size? Is that triggering like fine? Okay, that's healthy.

I bet, but it's like white noise, right if I knew my brother's penis size?

I wouldn't register it as a real thing. And also it's cute. in that same way. I'm like, whatever we were in the bath. It's not a dick.

Predicted by the fact that you know, he's gay and you know, your brother's straight Plain. oh, possibly weird feeling about knowing about your brother's.

But I love my brother and all parts of him, and he has a penis. yeah, I feel that it becomes not sexual immediately, just.

Your sister is straight. Well, that's interesting. actually more the you need to not know. Yeah.

You stay tuned armchair expert if you dare.

I mean, there's a freedom in knowing my purpose, but I definitely was also imprisoned in. I got to be doing this every night. I was doing stand-up sketch improv every night. I remember study abroad and I was like, nope. I gotta do comedy, I will fall behind, you know, I really was a C student, but a good keyed.

Is the average student. they're loaded? I mean, it's hard to tell. I think so.

Because now it's eighty thousand dollars a year. My brother went and he was on financial aid too, but thirty thousand by the time I went. four years later It was forty five thousand. I was on a two and accruing student debt, but I was like, I'm gonna do this. I catered and waitress and babysat and all that shit and did all my comedy, order of comedy.

I also did used to be. I did it here, though, and it's that, Jen. Did you have, Eugene Corder?

I guess, yeah, you know my teachers. Bobby Moynihan was one of my coaches. Anthony, it's Haminek Pally was one of our coaches. I'm laughing. He was like not wanting to coach us.

That was your lane. Whereas you weren't popping as an improv artist or making the Herald team. This had a combination of skills That you were built to do. Yeah, how does polar come into mix? because now you're a nice timeline, syncs up a bit.

Intoxicating. can I pause there for a second about intoxicating? You know, this was pre. we all had razors and we're post. Nokia were hard into the razor era, but nobody's Extracting presents from life.

Yes, his birthday's May, yours is April. Yes, and I'm wearing my kids headphones.

We discovered this thing of like. this feels to me anyway, like the last hurrah, the last scene right before Prohibition.

You got the last I know.

There's still scenes in New York and people are doing gritty stuff, and queer scenes are always necessary Safe queer spaces and for queer people of color and black queer people, but it feels like the last, maybe broader scene comedy. It was just like this rock and roll period of crazy shit happening and also crazy shampooing, bad and good. I'm not even saying it's better. I'm so glad that some stuff that was happening isn't, but it was intoxicating. the thing that should be missed and mourned is.

That you could take a big swing on a Friday night. You could learn real-time that was over the line and then you can come back the next night and then you could adjust and improve And do whatever. there's a geological record of everything that's done now, So I would imagine you're experimenting in a much more confined box than you used to, but there was also no.

Canceling and there was no checking. cancel culture. I think, is kind of just fake too. You think it's a moral panic. I think cancel culture is people whining that they can't be as insulting as they used to be.

I think that's like left, right? I think currently the options on the table are binary. if you're a far-right conservative, It's ruling the planet right now. cancel culture. And if you're on the very far left, you're like, it's not even a thing, and That's not true.

Yeah, right. So I just right. that's true. sides are exact. I appreciate that, but there was no checking at that time.

Even, can I argue though? They're checking in that even in any given day. There is a cultural Appetite for certain things and people stepped over the line. just simply it would bomb. you would go too far, And people like that's not funny.

I think I'm just realizing. it's just that the comedy was different, like in the UCB scene, Which was primarily white and primarily male. I remember this guy talking about watching bad boys, and he was talking about it ironically, and I remember being like what's the joke, though? Also coming out of our teen years, which was so fucking violent? Where were our girls at at that time?

Yeah, absolutely at the groundlings. what we did was I don't know if they still do this. So there were pretty strict guidelines at the groundlings, even when I was going through in 1996, Which is, you couldn't play a different ethnicity. that was off the table. You could play other white people like I, could be a guido, as we previously discussed.

Yeah, Just feel so different even that we used to have dirty a sketch show and, just like people's dicks on stage, so many dicks in That time in comedy, some that were cool, so that we're not and pussies a girl took her tampon out on stage, right?

I like a DCM. There was crazy.

Hot right Z. I do miss those spaces for darkness.

Halloween. you need a Halloween night in comedy.

Well, also, it's just letting a pocket of your brain open for a second, just because, right, you're human.

You want to be brave enough to trust yourself that you're allowed to wander there and then, yeah, that's right. So I've never seen you do stand-up. I'm embarrassed to admit.

I'm so excited about my last hour and just taped it and finish this tour, and I can't wait for you to see it. What theater were you? the elegant and winter garden theater in Toronto? Oh, okay, and you don't have to be embarrassed, I'm not known for it and it's taken me a long time To get to this place where I am now, where I am taking so much pleasure in it that I Enjoy sharing it this way. Well, would you agree?

We've just interviewed a series of stand-ups and there's a pretty well-held consensus that it's a decade-long experience. Now we're 18 years out from you first trying and I would imagine you have a skill set now. that probably is weirdly.

Invigorating, also to approach it more like a writer's room and a system and writing some jokes, Talking about them, with my husband, literally getting his pitches, trying them out, seeing what works, recording it, writing out What doesn't, getting a couple people together, pitching them, work, shopping, going out. my husband David and my manager, Suzy, were like take more people in, take more care, approach it like a movie or a show, Creating I have more experience with, like a show I'm creating, and then my coordinator, who pitched herself to be my tour manager, Madeline Kim. We just wrapped 52 shows over the course of 11 months. always the default culture of anything in our world is so Violent and narrow, and it was like you got to do weekends. if you really want to be a rude dog, I was like weekends.

You're letting off control and you like control. I think I've figured out.

Yeah, and also control of even who I am. I'm in a place with my therapy. You just kind of watch who you are as it comes up. You don't even control. you fucking are right, right?

You know, the thoughts come up. I think, when you try to control who you are, it's not successful. More, what I observe is. Oh, yeah, when you are in a state of flow and you're you, it yields something, this version of you.

That's curated and crafted. Isn't that appealing to anyone? but even this individualism thing? I mean, it's all ego. We're plants.

Ashkenazi strain.

It's actually scary. You don't control it and giving up control of even who I think I am. and damn also the pandemic. I have an hour out on Amazon and I can't even watch it. I can't really even watch Broad City, which I love so much, But it was like so painful and it was part of this manic Slew of getting so much stuff out after Broad City ended where it's like.

They record a couple of nights, or maybe yeah more, and then they edit together five seconds story. I know the lawyer of Richard Pryor and he had signed this mega contract and He came the first night in this really loud blue leather suit and then he showed up the next night in a red. Richard, you might as well not do this show, We're not gonna be able to. and I just thought what an incredible thing to show The opposite. and what if they were?

That's so funny and cute, too. But the second I had so much talking to myself before shows because I was quite nervous this past year. But being like, I aim to take pleasure in this right the process, Rather than being like just have fun, because then I'm fucking failing at something. possibly Rather than like aim. We'll see what happens.

Damn, how wonderful now your husband, who you've mentioned a few times now, David. He's a computational biologist. Yeah, what on earth is that? And how does he have any credentials in judging your comedy?

So He got his PhD and oh, is it competition biology? I don't know. But what he knows is molecular modeling of molecules when you look at diseases, so viruses and stuff. Yeah, proteins, which are viruses, everything's made of proteins. That's right.

Okay, David, okay.

David.

PhD. Yeah, it's grueling. How did you guys meet? This is a lovely counterintuitive. Oh my gosh.

We met in Washington Square Park, Thank you, and it was like a horny hazy New York Friday, the last Friday in June in 2012.

Everybody's beautiful. You have a coffee or anything? Handbag? Nothing. I have a crossword puzzle.

No, genuinely. What was your space worker? Arms up, legs crossed, bike locked And just staring at everybody. That's all you have to do when you're a young woman is stare. But also everybody's so fucking beautiful and like glistening, and I'm looking up north toward the arch, arc I don't know what people call it and he walks from my left to right and we immediately were like.

Like what the fuck? Oh, my god,

And I'm like literally my heart is coming down and I call my best friend Inti, and I was like, holy shit. I just saw like a really hot dude. What the fuck. and What's up with you? We start chatting and.

He stopped and he said do you have a charger? No, he went to go get his charger.

Okay, and then he reapproaches and I was like gotta go, bitch bait, hang up, stood up and said hello.

He just did the motion of tucking, but there was nothing to talk and he said hi.

And I was like, oh my god, I had just watched you and McGregor's beginners, and David kind of looks like a Jewish. Ewan McGregor. I was like.

Yeah, Gregor's gourd, it's true. if someone tells me I look like Ewan McGregor, I'm like.

So then we chatted for 45 minutes and then I was like, I gotta go babysit dog. I gotta go make cashola. Okay, I'm doing improv, sketch and stand-up and I and I'm gonna have student debt. So I gotta go babysit. I don't want to fall in love.

What year was that? 2008, 2012.. That's a long time.

I met David after FX had passed on the script. We wrote a script for a year with them developed and then they're like Nope girls is on the air later and we're like, oh, totally also. to have that notes process was lit and then going back to Comedy Central with that experience. It was perfect.

I've sold two things. FX had two notes things, and I loved it there, even though both things didn't get made. There was a spirit there that actually felt like trying to make the best thing and also genuinely.

Figuring out is this good for us? and it wasn't. I'm saying the girls thing almost facetiously, because we were different and we wouldn't have Been good on FX. So you met him after a Broad City. He'd had no idea about the web series and FX had passed.

What years was Broad City at Comedy Central? Broad City Comedy Central? So they, oh my gosh.

I don't want to take you back into a traumatic place. No, it's so beautiful to remember. in June 2012, when I met David, and Then shortly after, they were like we want to make the pilot. it took from July till November for it to come together. We shot in November and then, in March 2013,, they were like, we're gonna make the series, which was the craziest fucking thing.

You were a content machine to take away anything from this. if you're trying to become anything, you just do it. You just make shit. you become the organizer. you put people's shoes on, eventually, CD.

Validation and affection. no validations, high enough, nor will allow. so then 2013. they're like, okay go and we're like fuck. so we have from April to December to write and shoot and edit 10 episodes, and then season one was January 2014, and then we Made five seasons from 2014, pretty much every winter, beginning of spring through 2019.

It's about to devour itself. Yeah, and was the manic Episode brought on by fear of I will never do something again. Absolutely. Who am I even who am I outside of Broad City?

Oh, my god, it was so painful, but I didn't grieve it, probably until COVID. How did Abby do with it? We were both in so much pain. Yeah, also like growing pains. We ended it.

Painful. Well, I imagine too. There's this weird dichotomy of it's a ton of work. You also want it to be over. so it's like you want it to be over and then it's over and you know.

I did not want us to be over. Broad City itself was actually so painful in so many ways because we were So hard on ourselves. We did not have boundaries with our personal lives. We were working all the fucking time. It was so big and no time to process.

Did you ever feel like you were missing out on a lot of opportunity by doing it?

Yes, it took us 11 months to make each season. We had this joke where we would count the months and then all our fingers would be taken up And we'd be like it's gonna take the whole year. dude. What the fuck? We did not develop our careers.

Acting, directing showrunners, editing and doing press. That's the interesting thing is, I think it can be not unlike a romantic relationship, Or it's like you resent the thing you love. I wouldn't change it for a thing.

I don't want to have gone and done some dumb shit. that was contrived and I felt uncomfortable there, And I'm probably at the time doing a shitty version of Lana Wexler, too, But we were like. we have to end this. it's so interesting.

I imagine you feel like you're missing the train and then you get off and you're like, oh shit, We just willingly got off a train that was speeding on the tracks.

Yeah, so funny. like, you know, the chapter is supposed to be over, But you don't know what the next chapter is, and it's like. what do you do?

Do you pick the safety? something I can say confidently was that the need for it to end was from within. it wasn't like what? I have to go. do this cool.

There's an interesting from 2021 till now, We have two movies about pregnancy and a real pregnancy. Interesting, isn't it? Is that only now, in reflection? Did that occur to you? all is happening?

It occurred to me a false positive was definitely my fear of having children. I wanted a child a long time before I had one, but it was embodying the feeling of it, the fear of the unknown.

Well, so you just got out of this thing that you could have interpreted as preventing you from opportunity, And then you're about to endeavor on something that you tell yourself, even though it ends up not being true, is also gonna deny you.

Opportunity, motherhood, right? There is loss. You have a kid and you do lose the former life you had. but there's so much gained.

Yeah, I wonder if we share this and I say this ad nauseum on here, My apologies is to have a real identity that can't disappear because a network decided you're no longer a writer or an actor or Comedian. to have a permanent identity as mother or father for me is the most comforting thing that's ever happened to me. what do you mean? because my identity was so wrapped up in my Professional life. I was a comedian and then I was an actor, and then I was a writer, director, and I was a writer, director, Actor, but all of those things are vulnerable and they're impermanent, And I think what I was secretly wanting forever is a bedrock of identity that resonates with me.

Did you always want to have kids? always? Yeah, me too. I feel so clicked into my identity now in so many different Sections of it, but they're all feeling integrated. Oh, I could just take a moment and get the clamp.

It's good. And I think Kristen and I both were like, okay, so we're shutting everything down. We're about to have this kid. We'll never make money again. all that's over.

You also think that you're gonna lose your identity, But it strengthens so much and you still have to like work to go. get that time yourself and be like. what do I like? To do when I'm alone? What do I like to do when I'm with my friends?

It's also a gift for David Totally. some of my favorite memories of this Experience have been when Kristen was away shooting in Florida and on a cruise ship for a month and a half. I'm like, that's right. It's fucking dad time. Let's see.

So sweet, so impossible to compete in opposite sex parenting units. It's just like you came out of me. That was such a gift from this tour, too.

Yeah, if the primary source of nurturing is gone and you become primary, you're like, oh, this is nice.

I get me and also he's mushier, and I would tune in to the camera and see how nap is going and she's literally Jumping on him, jumping off of him as she should, and it's awesome, Yeah.

Okay, so you did false positive. that kind of really encapsulates your fear around it. But now you do babes, which was what we're here to talk about, and this is now a post child experience.

When did you get the idea for it? before or after? before I was just a few months pregnant and my co-writer, Josh Rabinowitz, his wife was pregnant about six months and our manager, Susie Fox and producer. I met with Susie in January 2021 and she had been obsessing over the gap in the industry for studio comedies and she was like I just could see you filling this space and My bottomless pit of need was like, of course, Whatever you see and think for me is what I'll do. if you love me for that and you think others might, are they high?

status.

Could they get me my mama money?

I don't know. man. You pay up front and immediately starts yielding dividends. I'm sure, but

Fucking years later. That's so hard.

It is, but I'm telling you, if you look at the grand thing of it being 18 years, You're gonna have 15 better years because they actually can play together. It's not like one's placating the other. I mean, it's fucking badass.

I hope I have another one, but it won't be like that. Yeah, so Susie had 21 months apart. I don't know if there were one and three or two and four about the fucking insanity. So she was that friend, really with two little ones, and Josh and I are like, this is gonna be so fun, You know, pregnant and excited. So we both really embodied my character and we all started Just brainstorming and it was really collaborative and fun, and I was just shocked at the absurdity of the hard comedy of Pregnancy, of the experience.

Well, Kristen went from like a B to a fucking D, Double, double, D, and she was like look at these motherfuckers. I especially loved it. like she was peak pregnancy and I would feel her back when she's on top of me. I'm fucking, I'm cheating on you. This girl's got a big back and huge titties.

You know, women are normally Contextually horny. we need candles and a story and a narrative. This is just spontaneous horniness that I had never experienced or taken pleasure in before. it was So fun and funny and I was really sick, and that was funny. It was just so separate from me, you know, it's just like smelling water, and It was such a funny experience.

Will you say Michelle's last name for me? You tell how far back do you guys go? Oh, my god Cuz. you guys have such a rhythm. Yeah, we know each other for like 18 years.

Michelle has been doing it 23.

Incredible actor. Oh, yeah, she is incredibly real. even when she's super broad. I'm all bought it. Yeah, she is such a rootedness to her.

Fucking, love it. We really didn't write with anybody particular in mind because we had our characters right there and Susie Having the kids and me and Josh not. I just was doing this interview the other day talking about lists of actresses. and you guys Remember when Mitt Romney said I have binders full of women. Yeah.

This is mirrored in the movie in a weird way. Oh, that's funny. She's overextended and you're needy.

Yep.

But I'm guessing that a lot of the stuff that made it in the movie certainly wasn't scripted, like you guys clearly have Established. like, do you ever watch that thing? and I'll forget all the actors names involved? But it's the famous English comedian and another famous English shit. That's right.

I was just like remembering, though. Was that scripted? I don't think it was scripted. It's hard for me to remember. Josh is the savant about it when he's like.

Incredible. There's always that anxiety. Who did I just have? Oh, Andrew Schultz was in a movie. He wasn't here promoted, but someone else was Camilla Mendez, and I was saying this as well.

He was incredible, great. They're fucking gorgeous. They're giving Queens. It's very believable. Yes, like Michelle, He's so funny and so good.

It was really sweet and you went to South by. we were there at the same.

You guys had your premiere there, yeah, it was fucking lit. I honestly didn't dream that would happen.

I think that's the greatest place to screen a movie. when I've had movies that have gone there, I'm just like Oh. Austin loves movies in the most perfect way, in neither the way New York or LA appreciates. There's no chip on their shoulder. There's no pretension.

That's exactly what it was. It was shocking. We had done test screenings in like butter bank, you know, and it was fun. But it's also like so conditioned and it was.

Raucous. what really surprised me was their shock. It was awesome. We haven't even said the premise. So you guys are best friends.

My character doesn't have a good support system and it tests their friendship and the heart of the movie was really Important to us to maintain and build over the movie, and that was great to itself. on the babymoon, that scene really really works.

If I mean, yeah, but the theme that is on the table there, Monica, is gonna resonate with you. I think deeply if Aaron said this to me, my very best friend since I was 11 You got a little cream top on your nose, and I know you'd be bummed if you discovered it later.

Would you?

Do as good as we can, all of us. Yeah, the notion of we're not family.

When Josh and Susie and I were like throwing all these ideas down, and so much was so funny, But the thing that kept coming up, that was the bones, or was it? The spine?

Well, I don't believe in reviews unless they're positive, and then I bring them up. It's been beautifully. That's my value system as well. Anywho? yours got very well reviewed, which is almost impossible to happen.

Thanks so much. Do you care? Honestly, I'm thrilled.

I.

Can't exactly read them, but to know about them. I'm thrilled. It's scary, cuz it's addicting. where you hope it's true, That is true of me and it's like no, it's not, and that's not me, and they don't know me. I read them and it's almost like going down some scary Instagram hole.

Yeah, I like hearing like my mother will tell me they loved your thing and I'm like, okay, great, That's all I really need to know, because you have the unique ability, as I do, which is like, even if it's positive.

I figure out a way that it was bad. Yeah, and sort of disembodying or flattening to my spirit, and it's scary.

Yeah, it's a really dicey endeavor.

Yeah,

It's kind of like an OCD thing of math that your brain is so trained to do, and it's like just don't even sit this.

One out. Yeah, there's almost no win in it. Even if it's ostensibly a win. you're like, yeah, but I figured out something.

I don't like about it. If people tell me little pieces. Yeah, I also cry. It's like it's too much. After South, I was like fully crying on the plane.

I did and were you with Michelle? Was she there? Michelle was there. we were like.

We were shocked. she was sitting behind me and I kept her and me like boo. we were like.

We couldn't believe it. But also after Broad City, if you and that, and you think what if that was my thing? Yeah, that's it. It's beautiful to experience it again. Yeah, I want to apologize.

Rob wrote on here that I'm literally seen for the first time for 30 hard-out.

I'm really honored and privileged about that statement. Thank you, and I'm privileged to be here. This is so fun and Sincere and good-hearted and caring toward the world, and I'm just so grateful. Thank you. All right.

You want a fucking shared experience, one that comes with ease. It's actually good for your body. It's truly medicinal. to go get that oxytocin dump.

For the world to know that you can relate to other people. exactly correct. We're so siloed.

England.

Good evening.

Late-afternoon BTS, we don't lie. It's getting close to evening, though. Yeah, what would you say? it officially starts?

I think if I said late afternoon And it was in the fives. No, I'll agree with that. Okay, agree to agree, agree to agree. not often. You can say that.

I love big up huge. live for them. I think I ate too many burritos. Oh, your new favorite burritos Meaning you don't like them anymore, or you had a some kind of physiological.

Reaction, please tell okay. So, you know, I was eating them every day for, I think, two weeks and.

And then it's really funny, just really quick is when you love them. We were saying the name of the burritos, and I know now that we're not saying.

Yes, I'm not going to, but yeah, I can say, because no one should do what I did, right has nothing, doesn't speak to the Product. No, it's nothing to with the burrito. It has to do with the way I consumed it, which was I Ate it every day and then then it became. I ate it only.

That's the only thing you're eating. Yeah, how many a day?

what?

Yeah, cuz, I think you look thinner.

Yeah, things are. something is happening, okay, Yeah, so I I started to get very full on the one burrito. I'm the one burrito a day. Okay, and it was confusing, cuz I've also been wogging.

Zampi, I think they put it in there. Well, I do know that this is how a Zempic works, right?

Which is like you're full. What if they are injecting it with those? that would be really very alleged.

Well, it would not be good, because, no, they want Pete. In fact, I've heard God, I wish I could remember who's telling me the food industry is already launching plans to deal with.

Ozempic cuz they're not gonna sell there.

They're not gonna sell as much junk, and a lot of these companies know it's coming. That's interesting. It's like the end, you know, like cigarette.

Well, I don't want to compare junk food to cigarettes, but you know, junk foods not great. Also, this burrito is not junk food. I want to be clear. Well, we're healthy. Yes, clearly, and pricey.

Okay, so you were eating them one a day, and what time of day. no one's gonna like this, because people are gonna think it's.

Like eating disorder. I.

I don't think I maybe too much toffee pudding on occasion, or yeah.

Yeah, I mean it is disordered to eat one thing every day exclusively.

I suppose I don't know. if you were supposed to eat 2,000 calories a day and you had one meal, I mean that's intermittent fasting, which people love, right? So you were kind of intermittent fasting, I guess. But then people love. then it started that I was eating half the burrito.

And I was not Getting hungry like ever. Okay, then I was starting to force myself to eat the burrito, half the burrito.

But never thinking of deviating from the burrito. cuz I love it. Yeah, I love the taste.

This is me. It has everything I need. it has protein. it has Avocado good for the brain. It has burrito.

I think there's a link between serotonin and carbs. There's also a link between hair Yeah, health and carbs. and I will say I can get in a cycle where I'm eating very little to no carbs Because I'm trying to hit my protein goal and it's just. I'm not hungry, you know, so whatever, Yeah, and there are occasions where I'm like, yeah, I'm a little. I don't know if cranky's the right word, But I can feel that I can feel the lack of carb.

yeah, and energy is very connected to brain health and Mood, and all of it all. to say this burrito had it all, it had it all. Can we go back to a show?

I know you want to blow right by that, And I say this Having many times acknowledged that a show. It's one of the smartest people I've ever talked to. you're saying this, I hope respectfully. Well, I think that's Father's Day. Yes, and that's why I'm saying I'm starting with this I, I deeply admire your father and I think he's brilliant.

He was around my grandfather for a long, long, long time.

Yeah, but we just interviewed Sanjay, and if you believe in a Tia's book like, yes, the dementia was a metabolic disorder. So well, I'll just stop there. So pounding.

Carbs, not hounding. He's saying the full removal. Uh-huh, Could have had something to do with the deterioration of his brain health, I Don't, you're in. no, I, I don't know. but, like you just said, I feel Different if I have zero carbs and I I don't feel as good.

Anyway, yeah, sorry, the burrito had it all. Okay. Yeah, one stop shopping. It was one stop shop.

It tasted so good. But for some reason it was making me not like food anymore. Mm-hmm. And so.

Oh, then also my pee was smelling kind of odd for a while. Wow, and there's no asparagus in the burrito.

No, and I'm sorry for a repeat, because we do talk about this on an upcoming thing.

Okay, so I guess you should apologize on saying I should go back into the edit BTS that was recorded before this.

But anyway, my pee was smelling kind of weird. I, that could be a million things.

Are you comfortable describing what weird is, or could you hard to pin? It's hard to say it's not, no.

It wasn't my normal non smelling. Normally, my pee doesn't smell right, saying less like I've had asparagus.

Yeah, but this I could smell it okay, but back to trying to describe smells. just I want to do a minute on that. Yeah, don't you think it's interesting? like everything other thing we have, like a lot of adjectives, Yeah, but I find what smells. the only thing you can say is that you know It's bad, like repugnant or something.

What flowery, I guess. maybe I just our you would say. you could say musty.

Musty, that's not. that's not how the piece smells. I smell sour and Big bowl of musty sour. People don't like when we do this.

But often I describe the smell of my apartment as musty. if I've been gone for a week and I come home, It's always smells musty. I don't understand. Someone must be living in there while you're gone.

No, it's the lack of a person. You know, it's so weird because I think of must is coming. Well, I guess maybe I'm confusing it with musk. Yeah, you're confusing that. I know.

But old underwear, because it's not mine, mind you. Yeah, okay.

Like there's a it's not, we say moistures in the mix with musty. I think musty has to do with moisture. Oh, I think it's dryness. So okay that I knew there was something that we weren't.

Don't agree to agree here. Just I'll call it misaligned. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, that is not how the piece smelled.

I don't think this can happen, and people that are super into keto will be mad at me. But I do wonder if, like you, were triggering ketones. Because maybe ketones, well, that's smelling your urine, Rob. Will you ask the computer if ketones have a smell in your urine? Ketones and urine is the first thing that comes up.