Ariana Madix: The Vanderpump Affair (FBF) [VIDEO]

Daddy gang, I am so excited because Ariana Madix is our guest on Call Her Daddy today. If you are a fan of the reality show Vanderpump Rules, you know exactly who Ariana is. You don't need any preface to this interview. You're ready to dive in. But for those of you who may not be familiar and have never watched the show, I got you.

Awful.

This affair has been secretly happening the entire time season 10 was being filmed. And no one knew. But now, as we've seen, the news has leaked. Everyone is dying to see how this drama continue to unfold. Somehow, a new story is new every fucking week on this shit.

Call her daddy.

Hi. Hi. Ariana Maddox, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Hi, thanks for having me.

How are you doing?

I'm okay.

Can you explain what the past few months have felt like to you?

A rollercoaster. I mean, truly like the lowest lows, I think, maybe ever, maybe since my dad died. that I've experienced. And then I wouldn't say the highest highs, but I would definitely say that there's been some really amazing bright spots and it sometimes feels like, I don't know, like a ping pong match in between those two extremes.

Right.

I have a tendency to compartmentalize a little bit with emotions. It's the Virgo moon in me, but it's weird because also sometimes when I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm doing, I'm feeling good, like things are really positive. Then people on the internet will be like, why is she must've not cared. They're like mad at me for like healing, but then they like, you know, but that's the thing is, it's like, everyone's always going to have an opinion about like how you should live. Totally.

Something I want to talk about is like, I think so many people have had something to say for so long about this scandal. And, like, we haven't really heard from you about, like, start to finish in long form, your thoughts, everything that's gone down. So today I'm hoping we can, like, put it all into one. You're like, okay, let me just, let's take a little Rosé. Cheers.

Necessary.

Can you take me back to the night that you found out that Tom was cheating on you with your at the time best friend, Raquel? Like I know, you were at a concert of Tom's, his phone fell out of his pocket. Someone handed it to you to just take your boyfriend's phone and hold it. Take us from there.

So they had like one more song after that. And so I was holding like my phone and his phone, just kind of as a stack. Um, and had no, like, there's nothing weird about that. I mean, we were together for nine years, like me, holding onto his phone, his, you know, his laptop, his, you know, whatever is not weird. So they had like one more song.

Okay, pause for two seconds. Yeah. I feel like no one is saying specifically what the video is. Are you guys not legally allowed to be talking about what the video is?

I don't know. Axie, can, I don't know.

Can I say what I'm speculating? Yeah, I can say. I think the speculation is. in the camera roll there was a screen recording that he screen recorded while they were on FaceTime, of them having FaceTime sex.

I was like shaking like full body, like just like. I don't know if it's anger, shock. Like. I think shock is a big part of it, because I mean I've been cheated on in my life before and I've, you know, caught somebody before like that and like way in my past. And I guess it's like that feeling I hadn't felt in, like we're talking like 15 years.

It is. And like. did you think this was a one off or did you immediately think this has been a relationship?

Like all of our relationship to her. You know what I mean? So there's no way. And also to feel so comfortable doing that on a FaceTime. You know there's.

I'm going to call Raquel and just like yeah. Yeah. No.

Right. Yeah.

So you start confronting him. What does he say?

He was very. he wanted us to get into a car. He wanted us to get into an Uber and leave immediately. He was starting to call a car and then he took my phone and then I was trying to get my phone back. And he ended up walking down San Vicente with my phone and I was in like boots, with a heel.

Like. why did he take your phone?

Because he thought, because I was like, oh, I'm going to tweet about this. I mean, obviously I'm not. But you know what I mean? Like you say things like that in those moments, you're not like. Of course.

So do you both get in a car together? Mm, hmm. And where do you go? Home?

Home.

What happens in the car? And when you get home?

So in the car we were. So I called Rachel during all of this. After I got my phone back on San Vicente. I called her, and that's when I was like, if you ever gave a shit about any woman, ever. About me as your friend.

We should get him in here. I know.

I remember at one point we stopped. And got a pack of cigarettes. Because I was like I want to, just. I want to drink it on a chainsaw. You know what I mean.

Uber driver was like whoa. But like give me five star girl.

Yeah.

So you get home. And this is the part I think I've seen the world be so fascinated. Because you guys live together. You own a home together. So you both go home that night.

Essentially yeah.

Do you sleep in the same room?

No. No. Not at that point, no.

So you sleep in a different room. And, like when you're by yourself, like what were you thinking?

Oh, I mean. Well, I made sure to text close friends of mine and of his. Because I was like I am not going to be in a position where. And luckily, because of the Sheena of it all like at least I was like. no.

Other people knew. Yeah.

So I was making like texts were slowly trickling, like what is happening. Are you kidding me? I mean I didn't sleep. I mean I didn't lay down to sleep until maybe like 6 a.m. That was how long we were like going at it, I guess.

That's also when I've been cheated on. It's like when someone that has been keeping a secret for so long gets called out. All they've been doing is lying. And so I feel like their natural response is lean in harder to, like trying to gaslight you. Trying to distort your reality.

Yeah. And I'm like screaming, crying, throwing up in this moment. And you're just like annoyed at the whole thing, basically.

So that night ends. And what we do know is like, when this happened, you guys were not filming anymore. So how long after this happened did the cameras finally get in there?

So this was Wednesday night. And so it was Friday morning that cameras were at my house.

Because what I could notice because we've all been through a breakup like that is like the conversation in the finale that we watched felt more like a breakup. Than like post-morning, like literally go, fuck yourself. Like fuck you.

Because there had been that little bit of that space. Back and forth. Yeah.

The final conversation between you guys. it was infuriating, I think, for the nation to watch. Because he's blaming you. being like I lost my mojo. We never had sex.

It was awful. It was brutal. But it was also what he had been doing for that past 48 hours up until that moment. So I, almost kind of like, knew that. that's where he was headed.

You were very vocal this season about defending Tom and Raquel, when people would come to you and you like had their backs. If someone would have come forward and I know this is a hypothetical but if someone would have come forward and told you about the fair. Do you think you would have believed them, or do you think you had to like see it yourself to believe it?

I think I would have believed it if it was told to me off camera. Or if it was told to me. you know what I'm saying? Because I think, to some degree, a lot of what I felt was rumors and rumblings was which has happened before. People being like okay, I heard a little something about something, but I'm going to bring it up.

I get what you're saying. It's almost like being on reality TV for so many years. you become almost more accustomed to. this is obviously for content. This is for the show.

Right. Or it would have been a friend who's like I'm going to end up bringing this up on camera.

But I need to tell you first.

But I need to tell you first, because I think it's actually really real. And I think that that's something that, like my close friends, would have done. Okay. I got it.

Okay. I do want to take a step back, because, as much as we're talking about, like in the weeds of like this affair. You were in a relationship for nine years with this man. And you guys were friends before you got into a relationship. What was it that first initially attracted you to Tom?

I just thought he was so earnest in everything that he did. And I found it really like endearing that he would be over the top in making a cocktail. Or over the top in just everyday parts of life. Like. I thought it very endearing and sweet almost.

How would you have described your relationship with Tom to someone?

I would have described it as like we used to call each other like apocalypse buddies. You know, like the person that all shit goes to hell. And this is the person that you can rely on. That you want with you. Who's going to continue to like, make you laugh.

What was your sex life like in the beginning? And then like as your relationship progressed?

I mean in the beginning I was definitely struggling with. I was very excited that someone was like, really. I thought really into me because the relationship I was in previously. That sex life was fine, but at the same time I was being like, criticized very heavily. About my body and my personality, just everything.

Yeah, it's like you lose the connection almost. And I think that's something, because there's so many things you just said. First is from your past relationship, going with someone that was very vocal. About things they didn't like about you or your body or your personality. Like that takes a toll on your self-confidence.

It felt like, you know, he would complain about frequency of sex. And it felt like he wanted to have sex. But I was like but do you want to have sex with me. Is it about me or is it just about the act. And that's where I was like.

Like. what do you like about me.

Yeah, like. I need to know those like. I want to know those things. Or I would be like okay, well, do you like? you know, people have said that they think I have a nice ass.

I get what you're saying, but I also to any fucking guy listening to this. It's like when your partner is so clearly being like. I need some reassurance. I don't know the last time you've given me a compliment. That's also like a hey, wake up, like you want sex.

I'd be like can you objectify me? maybe. Like, call me fucking hot. Right. or like.

Something that really pisses me off is when men try to justify their cheating by being like but we weren't having sex. Like. I need to get my fix somewhere. And like it's so often that women are deemed as the problem. And of course a guy went and cheated like you weren't having sex.

I mean I think in the past I would have been inclined to do that. But because I was had been in therapy and for years at that point I knew and couples therapy with him, by the way. And the couples therapist literally sat across from both of us and said this is a him problem. This isn't a you problem. You know there's certain things I have to take accountability for in the relationship.

This actually has nothing to do with you.

Yeah.

I know hindsight is obviously 20 20 and it's like you can look back and try to. But like, were there any signs of red flags in the beginning of the relationship that you now see.

I think in the beginning it was like. you know, he likes to go out a lot.

When you look back, I know a huge conversation on the Internet is your relationship with Tom started by him cheating on his girlfriend, Kristen. You guys kissed. He lied to you and was like I'm not with her anymore. But then it turns out Kristen was like we were fully together. So, and people are like oh you lose them.

Well, to be very clear, I didn't lose him. He lost me. So that's right there. Sorry. But I think that I trusted in him so much, even like as a friend back then, and I trusted him so much like during our relationship, that I trusted his perspective on things.

When you look back, I'm just thinking like do you think he's a pathological liar?

I mean it's hard to say. I mean clearly. in the last seven months he was a pathological liar.

Yeah.

It's now hard for me to look back at nine years, and if I tell myself he's a pathological liar, then I means that the last nine years of my life were potentially a lie. But he did say stuff on that finale episode to Sheena, like we weren't happy and we bought the house as a band-aid. I'm like a band-aid to who? Because that wasn't where I was at at all. Or things like.

Right, and also we're in a relationship. so you should have shared that to me, because I would have loved to known that, because I probably wouldn't have bought a house with you. If you were like. just to be clear, babe, this is a band-aid. you'd been like the fuck?

I would have been like okay, well, maybe we should fix our relationship, then now and do that and not do yeah.

Couple therapy.

After he started the affair. After. It was full blown. at that point. I didn't know that, but yeah.

So when you got into couple therapy, you had no idea about the affair. You go in and he claims he initiated it. Is that true?

Initiated couple therapy?

Yeah.

Yes, but it had been brought up by one or both of us over the years of being together.

Yep, and it's since been revealed that he got you both into couples therapy as part of his eventual plan to end the relationship. What explanation did he give you as to like why he was so gung-ho ready finally for couples therapy?

I mean he was just we got into an argument one day. well, you saw on the show. we had that conversation on the couch.

It's almost like a little counterintuitive that if he actually had the intention of ending it with you, why the fuck are you going to couples therapy?

I remember even saying after one of them, I was like okay. so there was a session where it was. it got really intense. It felt like maybe we were ending. And at the end of the session she was like okay.

Can you do you mind sharing like when, when you guys are fighting like because obviously you're not fighting about the affair. What were your issues in the relationship?

My issues is that I felt like he was not choosing me over like random nights out, or that he just wasn't coming home. Like he would want to just be at Schwartz's for no reason.

Well, now you fucking know.

Just you know, having beers and whatever, or coming home and then you know I'd wake up and I'd be like where are you? And I would like go down. he's just downstairs, like smoking cigarettes and probably, but like you know what I mean? It was just like the absentee boyfriend, without and the. I have to do this for work.

Right, it's almost like you both couldn't? it was a circle. It's like no, but come home earlier. He's like no, but like I'm miserable because we don't have sex, but we need to hang out in order to have sex.

Like what I said on the show. I was like I can't teleport your dick into my vagina from the bar. Because if you're at the bar and I'm at home like I'm here, you know, maybe I'm ready and you're just not there. So how do we do this?

Right like. we can't actually physically do this if you're never present.

So yeah.

So Tom did mention on that. Howie Mandel podcast, like things did shift. You started to make an effort. Like. what did you making an effort in his mind, do you think look like?

I think I just was doing my best to be present and going out with him more and trying to be more fun party time, gal.

And like how the fuck did you feel when you were doing that?

I mean part of me was just like. I mean this is fine, because again I was still doing like that inner child work. And it was, you know, I felt like that was really helping me just be like I love myself and I'm, you know, doing. I mean that like really changed the game for me. Yeah.

When you say doing inner child work like obviously share what you're comfortable with. But, like, what was something that you were like really struggling with? that was clearly like you felt bleeding into your relationship, that you were like I'm going to work on this shit because, like, I want to be whole and good with myself.

I think like this sense of perfectionism because I mean I love my dad, but my dad also like didn't come home after work and stuff. And I was always like straight A student, super overachiever. And I think like going back and looking at it a lot of times. I did those things. I mean maybe because I wanted people to be like I'll be there.

Isn't it so fucked when you get into therapy? also, you're like oh my God like. is it this obvious of like I'm dating a version of my dad or like I'm dating a? you're like. how did this happen.

Like my dad. Yeah. I mean I hate to speak ill of my. I love my dad. He's a great person in so many ways.

But it also makes sense, Ariana, because weirdly, we are attracted to things that are familiar to us. So it's like if that is what you were growing up with. weirdly, you're like oh, I fucking got this with Tom. Like. I know how to deal with this.

I know I can do it the right way. Like, oh, I can do it right this time. I can kind of do it all over again.

And be better.

And be better.

And actually he'll come home. Watch. And then it's like actually you deserve so much.

It's actually not on me. It's on them. No.

You want someone that actually wants to come home and you don't have to beg them to be like come on, like show up, be there.

Right.

You said that you hadn't considered ending the relationship before all this came out. Were you truly happy in this relationship.

I don't know. I think I was a version of happy that I thought was.

But it's, it's must be such a mind. fuck where you're like, which I also want, because I know I've done it too where, like I remember when I was getting cheated on and I didn't know it at the time. And you're making such an effort and you're like, I feel so fucking stupid, like how dare. And it's like no, no, no, you're not stupid. You were trusting the person you were in love with.

Yeah.

And so it's like you also have to wrap your head around like. this wasn't your fault. But it's like also crazy now that you remember these details of you putting in so much fucking work and be like we got this, Tom. My only question, though, is like nine years now, when you look back because you're like oh my gosh, like I was like. you know, I was obsessed with like, the potential, like I really wanted the nine years in.

I feel like things would kind of they would. they would wax and wane. They would be ups and ebbs and flows. And I feel like we would have so many amazing times. So then, if there was like a couple of weeks that were like not great, or if I was like unsure about something, there was so much other stuff that was great.

Right like a fucking decade. Decades.

You know, things are gonna be hard sometimes.

I get that. I actually think that's like really relatable of, like you try to see the good because there is good. Yeah. But when it's ebbing and flowing, you have to be like we just have to stay strong through the hard times, like we just have to make it through this.

We've been together for 50 years. You have never cheated and you have like. they're like the greatest love story of all time. and you think like okay, yeah, they said that we had some hard times, like sometimes you have a year that's hard. And I you know, especially this past year, I went through a lot and I felt like okay, and he was going.

He had a full other relationship going on.

Right.

This season, we found out a lot about your relationship. There. you had talked about, like how at times you would go through his phone and he was open with you and he would hand it to you, or then we found out on Watch What Happens Live. you were like I have the iPad password. you fucking idiot.

Yeah, but no, because I had my best friend. So he would be so jealous of me hanging out with my best friend, Logan. Right. And he would be like I feel like a third wheel when I go out with you guys. And I'm like well, because you, you go outside and you are on the phone or you're doing you know you.

Yeah.

And so it's like I don't want that for you, but so I filled that. I filled that absence of him not coming home and not wanting to do the same things that we wanted to do. I filled that absence with the most incredible people I know, which are my friends.

Which is like, such, like also a beautiful thing that you had, great friends, but also kind of like, clearly a deflector of like, instead of being like we. why are we never hanging out? I'm just gonna hang out with my friends, which is great. We love your friends.

Right, because he was going and doing that, you know, and it was just like or. but honestly though, the separate lives comment. Yeah. To me is just so not true. I mean to some degree, maybe yeah, but when you're saying, like I have to work, I'm trying to open this bar, and oh, I have to go to dinner with Schwartz and Brett because we have to talk about the bar.

No, I get it. You obviously mentioned you went through a rough year. You lost your grandmother. You lost your dog. I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I was full grieving because my concern. Well, with Charlotte, my dog, he was there with me. He held her, as we said goodbye. We literally said goodbye to her together, and then we went home and I put on my comfort movie, which is Love Actually, and we drank wine and we laid on the couch together and just like mourned together. And so I thought we were like fully on the same page there.

When you were grieving your grandmother, isn't that when Tom and Raquel apparently were like at your house, or something having sex. Potentially. Potentially. Potentially.

I mean he has maintained that that's not my case, but I don't trust what he says. Of course. They FaceTimed me, the three of them. They FaceTimed me that next morning, like before any filming or whatever. So I was already aware that she had stayed the night because she it was like hey, good morning.

Is that one of the most painful things for you, aside from the actual fact that they were having an affair. Like the casualness of just like hey girl, we're going to FaceTime you together and they're your best friends. So you're like hey guys. And they like literally just fucked.

It's the duplicitousness. It's like the. it's the backstabbingness. It's like less about like an affair. You know what I'm saying.

It's really twisted and sick.

It is actually.

Tom claimed he tried to break up with you multiple times and your response would be I'm not going to let you leave. You're going to have to force me.

That there was only one. OK. So we tried. OK. He's talking about those conversations that we filmed.

Right.

Like we. we were having sex in January, like multiple times. So like.

So to also to confirm to everyone that's not following all this drama. It's like Tom really honed in being like I was really trying to break up with her.

Like I was trying. But you're like sleeping in my bed and buying me flowers and we're going on an anniversary dinner. And, like. Yeah. Going to couples, therapy and all of that.

Like. not only is it not crazy, Ariana, that was going to be my next question. Like, I think the whole world watching it when Tom looked at Sheena and was like I can't break up with her because she's threatened to kill herself.

I have dealt with suicidal ideation before and I have been in very, very deep, dark places before. So to then be flippant about it, as if that's also something about me that makes me like deserve to be treated poorly, is is pretty awful.

I think I couldn't agree more. I also am like when you saw that clip, how did you feel.

I mean it made me angry, obviously. And then what Sheena said was like such a great thing. Like, even if that was exactly word for word what I had said, which no, but if it was, why did you do absolutely nothing to help at all. Like, why didn't you call my mom my brother my friends.

Right. Instead you fucked my best friend.

Right.

Tom knows you have shared that you have struggled with your mental health. I have. Yeah. You have. He has clearly been next to you while you're going through things.

I'm purported to be my supporter and my partner in that.

Why, if you were going to break up? why do you think you would leave everything and move like, do you still. Well, now you did break up. You're not going to do that. Right.

Where are we going.

Where are we going.

I'm down.

But like when you said that to him, you really were like I'm out.

Because I didn't want to do. I didn't want to do all of this on my own or without him, and I didn't want to like just kind of like, be like all right. I guess I'll move into an apartment in Studio City. And you know, I just was like. that's not what I want.

I get what you're saying. It's like. I also appreciate. I think a lot of people can relate to this. Randomly.

That is literally where I was at. I was literally where I was at, because I'm also thinking to myself. a nine year relationship is not a relationship that ends with a drunken Valentine's Day. By the way, we were wasted when we got home that night. So I'm like that's you don't just have one wasted conversation.

And end a nine year relationship.

So. Right. But to him he was clearly and obviously in that conversation. there was nothing brought up about him having an affair with anyone. So it's almost like the whole thing.

He really. it really feels like he really wanted to have both.

I think so. I think he was very committed to the double life.

I agree. Because do you actually believe he was going to end it before the reunion.

I don't know. Honestly, it's like hard to know. I do think that I've seen. I've seen some things. I've learned some things, even after filming the reunion.

Come on. Give us the tea.

One of those things is a text message from Rachel to Tom, saying I just talked to a mutual friend I won't name them and they said that you should be honest with Ariana, maybe not so much about all the details like sleeping in the house together, but that she deserves to know about this. And then it's like I love you. You got this.

So kind. Just so, so generous.

So I think it was only in that last little bit there right before I found out that it was even that it was being workshopped.

Right. That's when, like when I saw that they were like we were going to do it before the reunion, because we could never sit in front of her and let her defend. And I'm like bro, that's what you've been doing. You've been sitting in front of her and letting her defend you and Raquel and everyone. It's like why would the reunion be any fucking different.

Right.

I hate this shit. Okay. Throughout this season, there were numerous comments from castmates about the dynamic of your guys relationship. Again, before the affair came out in January, you had to set the record straight that you and Tom were not in an open relationship. Why do you now with all the information?

Honestly, I think it came from him. I think that which it's been denied. I'll say that. But I think that so it came out that day that all everyone was at my house, that you see on the show, that I mean, obviously, these conversations that are two minutes on the show are like two hours plus, and sometimes there are things that are said that are way worse than what is on the show.

We're like Bravo. give it to us what the fuck.

Like his and I my our conversation. there were things that were way worse. And then in that conversation with all my friends I think it was Sheena was like um, so one of our friends back, when this stuff started coming out and rumors were rumbling, it was apparently Rachel told a mutual friend that she thought me and Tom were in an open relationship. because apparently he told her that at one point and then, when that got brought up, he was like absolutely not. I never said that and I was like, well, you should probably take that up with your little fucking girlfriend, because she's the one who told that to someone else.

It's weirdly. I do think in a strange way. that is helpful to know, because that narrative now, knowing what we know it's like that didn't get put out into the world by like. no happened. chance like it's not like everyone's like Sheena and Brock are in an open and it's like you know what I mean.

There's like a kernel of something that was planted somewhere, that turned into something.

right, like someone fucking knew it was an open relationship, but it was one fucking.

there's one person because the other person's like right, absolutely not like I would have.

loved to have known like let me know, so I can, like you, would have loved to known like many times earlier. so you're like oh, let me get on the same page. you're fucking recalled, got it. I'm out right. Like he was operating, telling people that, probably so that it wouldn't get back to you, because it's like an unsaid thing.

Oh, well then, they must have some sort of trust, some rule, and so I'm not going to bring it up to her. I mean that sounds fairly likely to me.

Absolutely. Katie at one point said something along the lines of Ariana doesn't care. she just cares when people talk about it and she doesn't want to look dumb comments like that insinuating. you and Tom had a different relationship and understanding off camera than on camera and those comments were pretty heavy. throughout the season of like they've got this thing on the side that no one talks about.

I mean to be honest, and I do love Katie and I do love Lala, but those were people who were not really in our inner circle like whatsoever for the last many years, and I don't think anyone within our inner circle would ever say anything like that. If you were to interview Logan or Brad, or even Sheena, they would not say that, and those are people that we spent like a lot of time together with trips, with things like that. So I mean I get to them. maybe they think that that's fine, but they were not in our inner circle.

Prior to this scandal, there had been other rumors of Tom cheating with other women, and it was disclosed in the finale that you did know about one of them in Miami. You guys weren't official. You talked about that. Now, knowing who Tom really is, how many people do you think?

I don't know. There was one years and years ago that I got a DM that was like Tom, hooked up with my friend in San Diego and I was like, and I brought it up over and over and over and over again, because I was like I'm drilling, I'm drilling, and it was like no, absolutely not. no, no, no, like you know what I mean. it was like really just a no. That now I'm like no, I think that was a yes.

Like what?

Like bringing Rachel home to St. Louis.

When did he do that?

Apparently more than once.

While you were dating? Yeah.

Yeah.

So his family knew?

It's hard to say like what exactly they knew or when they knew. I think they at one point they knew, but they were like definitely not condoning and he wasn't. he was like putting her up in like a hotel.

Like how diabolical to bring your side chick to your home like mm-hmm like, and were they not afraid of paparazzi like what?

I guess I mean it's St. Louis. I don't know. I don't know. But you know what.

Okay. At some point. What do you think about the Billy Lee situation?

I do not think that anything happened there.

You don't?

I don't, and I the reason I don't is because I mean Billy Lee. okay, I understand that this sounds crazy, because Raquel was someone I loved and trusted. you know what I'm saying?

Right, you're like, but.

But I do really. I trust that Billy Lee would not do that.

Have you asked?

She has. we've talked about it.

Okay. Okay.

Based on people saying things online. she's been yeah.

Right. Yeah. Has anyone reached out to you since? to be like, I also hooked up with him.

They have not. Okay. I haven't had anyone do that.

Okay. That's good for your mental health.

Or are they scared?

Are they scared? you'll be like on Caller Daddy, like yup Brittany from fucking Australia, said that like no.

Dude. Honestly, I would not if a girl, if any women did do that.

Yeah. You're not.

I would not put them on blast because, honestly, at the end of the day, as much as I think that they suck for doing that because they knew we were together, it's a responsibility, in my opinion, of the person in a relationship.

I also think weirdly now, knowing the drama of, like the open relationship rumor he may have been putting out. What I've always said. like men, when they want to put their penis in something, they will say like a married man will be like no, we're in the middle of a divorce. Later he goes home to his wife, like they will say she, sadly she passed.

She passed away. I've seen that.

Literally like she's, not here like he. we don't even know how he's. it's already so diabolical how crazy it's gotten that it wouldn't be surprising if every room he walked into in order to get a girl like it was like we're on a break or we're like it. just it's. it's.

Yes. Yeah. But I think I was given a lot of assistance in doing that, because I would bring things up and I would be shot down and or I again with the oh, let me see your phone. I think that I was given a lot of assistance in that you know what I mean like. and he even said on the show like well, she didn't follow me.

saying, and I think also to women listening like. we talked about you going through his phone and there are no texts. So it's like at what point you have to just trust your partner, because then you start to actually feel crazy of like. am I being just like, so untrusting like and you're like.

am I just like a fucking bitch? because now I'm being, you know, that person that's just so like. so what am I, their mom now? that's going to be like every time they come home. am I going to be like?

and it's like, and then you start to feel like the psycho and they become the more normal one. that's like you're so crazy, like well, and then they get to use that against.

you later on. so it's like you're either not psycho enough to like not figure it out, or you're so you're too psycho and they're like they know how to hide that. now I'm going to break. Exactly.

They're like. you're so crazy. here's my phone. look and it's like well, then open the iPad. if you didn't delete those messages.

No. Oh, you're. And you know why? because at one point they were, and it was just like we just get so many and it would just be dinging ding ding. It was like we got to turn that off.

How much of the affair do you think happened at Schwartz's house?

I think more than Schwartz is willing to let on, because the recording was at Schwartz's and he apparently felt real comfortable there. Yeah. In that sad, sad apartment.

In that sad, sad location. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking gross.

Yeah.

Do you think you kind of touched on this a little bit earlier? but do you think you were so quick to defend Tom? not just about this like it, through seasons, you've always had his back, you've always been ride or die, and I think so many people, including myself, respected you for always being like I'm going to stand by my fucking partner. but do you think that you would be so quick to defend him so that people wouldn't think less of him, or so that people wouldn't think less of you for being with him?

Both. Yeah. Definitely both. because I didn't want people. I always saw a side of him that I felt like wasn't apparent on the show or on social media or whatever.

We're leveling up Ariana. okay, like it's getting better. I've seen it's gotten a lot better. Um, when you look back on your time together, are you able to see any good? or has what he's done completely tainted him and as the human he is?

Uh, I don't think I'm there yet, although some of these edits on TikTok that come on my for you page that have like ceilings, that ceiling song is playing and it's like cute clips of. I'm like, like. I can't, because I feel like. I mean in that regard I'm like. oh, that's maybe almost getting me there, but I feel like.

nostalgia, maybe years from now. but yeah, it's also again like the level of like truly lying and actually having what seemingly no remorse almost between the two of them. you can't help but wonder. I think the whole world was like. what else has this motherfucker done over these nine years?

Yeah.

That's difficult.

And it also makes it feel like you look back on on the relationship at times that you did think that were good, that were happy memories, and you think like well did they didn't really like me or respect me during those times, right? because I don't know.

What do you miss about the relationship?

I would say inside jokes and goofballs together, the fun, funny, just stupid.

That like comfortability of like you, like the same language. Yeah, like we know each other.

You like, don't like. this is hilarious. You guys like I'm so drunk. I'm like. this is so funny.

Mother like son.

He's not a well trained dog. He's kind of a little jerk. But we would let it go because we're like that's our friend's dog, like maybe he'll fit. And she would always purport it to be like. it was because like, maybe, like, when her and James had him together, that maybe, like it was the way he was raised as a puppy.

It's not his fault. Right. The owner's fault.

It's your dog. Yeah. Anyways, we would have people that would come over, stay in the guest room, stay on our couches, like it's a very normal thing. And sometimes I'd be like all right. well, it's like two.

Do you think they ever had sex while you were upstairs.

Yes, I do. I think they had sex in my guest room while I was sleeping in my own bed, that he and I went to bed in together and then he left the bed and went to the guest room and fucked her. Yes, I believe that.

God bless you. God bless you. Ariana. that's like trust issues like how, like fuck, fuck him. Because how do you even begin to like trust someone after like that level of like nine years with someone and they're that fucking comfortable in the home that you co-own.

Yeah. Oh yeah. And like when people say Tom's house, I'm like, excuse me. It's my house. Uh huh.

In one episode. you said Raquel is kind, sweet and loyal and has just been a delight since the day I met her. How would you describe her now.

Oh, my God. Lost. Lost. I mean I don't know her. Yeah.

Yeah. It just sucks that you were kind of in the middle of something, that someone that has clearly no remorse was involved in the destruction of also your relationship.

Sure. And I at the time was like. I kept telling her like it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to like.

Fuck.

You were so nice to her. Ariana. Do Raquel and Tom make sense together to you.

No. No. I mean unless he has changed everything that he has ever said that he's looking for in someone, then no.

How did you feel watching them on screen together in Raquel's apartment? like that was the first time we all kind of see them able to romantically interact with her, like, oh my gosh, this is so weird. we can't kiss on camera together. like how did it feel watching your partner of nine years, just literally the day before I think it was? look at you being like I'm going to her place.

Oh, and, by the way, after he filmed that scene with her, he came back to my house.

Right.

And it was essentially I mean you saw how many flowers were there. So I there were probably like 15 people there. I still had not slept. Still not eaten. My friend Janet came, got all kinds of it.

We were you called a party. We were having a funeral. Thank you. Exactly. You're done.

Oh, but that scene was very cringe on so many levels. And I think it was that scene and that conversation that I watched that made me when you asked me like does he make sense to you.

Oh, it was awkward.

Yeah.

The whole thing of her being like I love you, and he was like no, I said they love you, but I love you too. Like how did you also feel, knowing that they said to each other that they love each other.

I mean I kind of knew that before. I mean I knew that before watching it. Yeah. I was like where they're at. Yeah.

Do you think Tom misses you.

Yeah, I do.

Do you know that. Like? has anything been said.

No.

You just know.

I just feel like, as someone, that he would go to for advice on mostly everything up until like that moment, or I just think that there's no way that he doesn't, because he's been making a lot of like very questionable decisions over the last few months. He doesn't have that like sounding board or that advisor anymore.

What is the extent of an apology that you've received from each of them at this point.

Hers was.

It's like someone told you to say these exact lines, like nothing is inside here.

Nothing had clicked. I didn't feel like it was genuine.

Also that kind of text message you're like. that is the kind of text messages you send when, like you, were a bitch the night before because we were drunk and you said some things. and you're like I'm really sorry, I don't know what to say. I'm embarrassed. Like you had a almost year affair with my boyfriend.

Well, obviously you saw how well. I told you how that night went the next day. Not much better. And then that scene that you saw, which was two hours and there was a lot of like, way worse things, that he said.

Like what. Like what is he saying.

Like. at one point he was like oh well, I'll keep taking care of the house, like I always do.

What is his obsession with, like the batteries and the fucking toilet paper. He's like I take care of this house, like he has an assistant, like she goes and gets.

that like. he says hey, we need this, and she goes and gets it like it's not right.

No, I saw, I literally saw a tiktok of a girl being like how to not get cheated on 101 and she's stalking the house with like batteries and toilet paper, like if only Ariana had stalked the toilet paper. Maybe like. he acted as if, like that was a huge point of contention, and like why he cheated. he's like she would never stalk the house, like Ariana didn't do these things. and you're like, bro.

Yeah. Like. over the last few months I've noticed like there was one day I was doing I think I was shooting Spawn Con like downstairs at one point, and all of a sudden he's like, asked his assistant like, does she know where the ladder is? and it was by me. so she brought it and he's like I'm just going to change the filter on the air conditioner.

I am the man of the house. It's like chill.

Yeah. Yeah.

So it's so cringe. Would you go back and change anything you did.

Honestly, I want to say no, because I feel like listen. I've seen people online be like she wasn't perfect. Obviously, who is this person. She's not innocent. I don't have to be.

So do you think that, had you not caught him. Do you think you guys would still be together.

It's hard to say in this moment, because you know there was this. There was a plan still together.

Can you explain what the plan was.

The plan was, I think, to end the relationship under the guise of like that Valentine's Day conversation, for that to eventually stick. Eventually. that would be the. that was the end game to break up with me without any mention of any sort of affair or cheating or anything, whether that was pre reunion or not, or pre going to film Winter House or not. And then you know, go about whatever, and then they would just start dating.

Yeah. It's a little wild to see like how much he was working it towards the end there, like you guys weren't really in this season that much. And then to watch like halfway through, or even a little bit farther than halfway through. He just is coming out of the woodwork complaining to Tom. Oh, my gosh.

I know I'm actually like. there was one point I think it's him or Schwartz had said to me at one point like I'm so sorry that you found out this way. And I was like. I'm so glad that I found out this way because if I had found out the way that y'all had planned it are like are you kidding. Like it would have been?

Do you ever think back like that night with the phone and you're like thank God.

Yeah. And I also think what the what was it. It felt like like a beam, like, I hate to say, a lightning bolt.

No, literally.

But it really truly felt like a lightning bolt of do this right now. And it's like, I don't know. That's why I say like. it felt like some sort of divine intervention, because like and I'm, and I'm not like. I don't really believe in God.

Thank God. A woman's intuition is never wrong. What have you now uncovered? that repulses you about this whole situation.

The flying her to different places. I know that she was, that I watch what happens live appearance, where Schwartz was covering his mouth and acting all weird. Yeah. Because she was in the hotel room.

Like this was a whole fucking operation that he started to get running where it's like the credit card here. have someone book her in the hood, like it was, like who knows how much farther it would have gone. Sure.

And having the band and the touring and stuff like that, I feel like, is a very easy way to feel like. well, I have to be out of town and then she could then be flown to wherever that show was. And I would have no idea, because he's coming home exactly when he's supposed to come home. Right. Of course he's out late playing a show like.

It does start to make you wonder was the, is this band just a whole cover for this affair? because, like, objectively, I know you were in love, Ariana, but like, it's not great. The band's not great.