Kate Hudson: A Year Without Men [VIDEO]

What is up, Daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, we call her Daddy.

Excuse me if I have like these, like disgusting cough episodes. Oh, are you sick? Because I am, no, I am, I had that lingering like three week cough.

Uh-huh, you came here to get me sick.

If you get sick, it wasn't me. No, it was you. I am not contagious.

You came in here to like fuck this bitch, I'm going to get her really sick and leave and give her no tea. No, it's going to be great.

Well, only in public. Right. You know what I mean? Okay. So, I mean, music's been in my life my whole life.

Okay.

Whether it was me or whether it was with like my exes, partners. Uh-huh. But yeah, no, I finally was like, you know what? If I don't share it, I'll just regret it.

That's what I think is interesting. when you think of like Kate Hudson, everyone's like actress. Is it terrifying to come out with music, or are you like excited? Are you nervous?

I think it was terrifying, which is why I didn't do it. And I'm an Aries, like I'm supposed to be fearless. And I was like, why am I so terrified to share my writing, really? And I think it's because when I grew up and sort of was young and became well-known and, you know, I got famous young, so I was 20 years old. And at that time, like you, don't switch careers.

Yeah.

And so I had to kind of tackle that. And then I was just like, fuck it. If I don't do it, then I will be on my deathbed and it will be a great regret of mine. So.

Well, I think it's incredible you're doing it, also because you have a really good voice.

Oh, thanks.

Like, no, but I think, sometimes, like, to be honest, I think people are always like, oh, God, another fucking actress is going to now try to do a singing career, or vice versa. Like, yeah, the singer goes to try to act. I'm listening to it. I'm like, oh, you have a fucking great voice.

It's funny because I'm not like I don't, I don't. That's been part of my hesitation is I don't see my the instrument as like a technician. I think there's certain technicians of the instrument that are fucking brilliant. And you listen to them and you're like, whoa, they can do runs for days and they can hit certain notes and things like. I never saw myself as a technician of the instrument.

Well, I also think what you were saying is your lyrics. Like, as I was, like, going through your music, I'm like, oh, so much of your lyrics are about love and your relationships and heartbreak and moving on and knowing when to move on. And, like Romeo, I feel like is like a great summer bop. You like Romeo?

Yeah.

Oh, my God. I love. I think it's a vibe.

I love Romeo so much. It's a good vibe. Romeo makes me happy. That song just is like, I just want to like put it on in the car in the summer. Yes.

But then I also love that you go to the complete opposite side, and it's like love ain't easy. And I'm like, you're just like flexing your vocals. I'm like, holy fucking shit. It's like a beautiful, I guess, ballad or like, and it's gorgeous. But so much of listening to it, I felt like I got to know you a little bit more.

In our house?

Yeah.

Oh, I mean, I have very open, you know, progressive parents-ish, progressive-ish parents. Those were things that were always very open. Okay. And I think part of why we were never super rebellious was because there was no mystery around those things. So, you know, even like partying, like my parents love to have a good time.

I think that's a good point, because I feel like not to shit on the kids that's parents were so strict, but I had a similar upbringing where, like my parents were like very open about things. So I was never like, I want to go experiment and do all this shit behind their back, because, fuck you, you're making me stay home. I felt like I was lucky to have that. But I can see a lot of kids where you can go the opposite way, because if your parent tells you not to do something, you naturally want to do it sometimes. Yeah.

No. I mean, not when I was young.

No. What were you like with guys growing up? Like? were you confident?

Oh, totally boy crazy. Really? Oh yeah. I'm still boy crazy. You are?

And you're just happy?

I went home to Danny. I was like, honey, I'm having the time of my life. I love you and I am very committed, but oh, I feel so lucky. It's like I was born for this job.

Really? Yeah. What was your personality in high school?

I didn't want to be there. Why? Because I was like ready to have my own apartment somewhere in the world. I was in ninth grade, like, ugh, just someone give me a martini and a cigarette and some book on a balcony in Paris. I don't know.

I get that.

I get that. And I was like, ugh, you're just holding me back. Now I look back at high school and I feel like it was like one of the great experiences of my life. Right, right. But I was definitely like the mom of the bunch.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Like when all my friends were partying, I was designated driver. I would take care of everybody.

I didn't expect that.

Yeah. Everybody thinks I'm a total party girl. I was the opposite.

So you're always DDing still to this day? Always.

Well, I mean, you know, not now. But like back then, I was very straight. Were you bullied at all?

I'm still pretty straight. Like were you awkward?

Totally. Really? Totally. Yeah, because, look, when you're young, if you're confident in something, people don't really like it. Yeah.

That makes sense. Where girls are just like, she's fucking annoying. And then you're like, what? Because I know what I want to do.

And like, you know, I guess like, because I wasn't, I think girls who don't party, you know, can sometimes get that too. It's like, oh, you're too good to like get drunk with us. And it's like, no, I actually just don't want to like, do a keg stand like on with you right now. Like, I don't want to get wasted, but I'm happy to like hold your hair when you're throwing up. I don't.

Right. You're not judging them for doing the keg stand. No. You've like got the hair tie ready.

Yeah. And I just didn't. I wasn't like that.

But I think when you're at a place in your life where you're like, don't feel like you're in the same position as people like. mentality wise. It's hard to fit in anywhere. Like if you're like, ready to move on and everyone's like, we're loving this. Like we're going to the tailgate tonight.

Yeah. I think these, like young, like social structure, clicky, like Lord of the Flies type, like things that happen, are actually really important. How you deal with them at school and then how you deal with them at home, with your family, and like how they're supported, I think, are so important. Like, I feel like it's good to kind of have a little bit of friction when you're growing up and people saying mean things. sometimes it's like, oh, you know, you kind of need a little bit of that to like power through it and realize, like in retrospect, to be able to reflect, look back and go, wow, like, I'm so happy that that wasn't who I am and that I had a little bit of that scarring.

Good point.

Get me, get you through certain things, because it doesn't get better.

No. It does not.

I mean, human nature, is quite brutal. So, like how do we, you know, when those small communities like you're going to have friction in high school. Right. I mean, what was your friction?

Mine was, I definitely like, I had a similar experience where, like, I was ready to get out. Like I knew I wanted to do all of this. Like I was like the video production nerd, but I was also at the same time the jock. So, like, I hid from everyone that I liked video production and I would like lie to everyone. They're like, why are you doing that for your elective every year?

And then you kind of look back too and you're like, oh, and then you had these great, like big, fun, awesome moments. Yes. Sometimes I look, there's certain people too that were just like always, wonderful. Like, you know, you kind of, this girl, Hillary and Jessica, and like I look at these girls and I'm like, God, I wonder what they're doing now. Like they must be like the greatest mother of all time, because they were so like even and they had kind to everybody, and like helping you organize your own thoughts.

No, you're right. It's like sometimes I think we have a hard time pinpointing like the positives in situations. Like I found an old laptop from college and I had some like fucked up shit happen to me in college and I looked back at like this really specific time in my life as like negative. And I remember opening my laptop and like almost getting so emotional because I'm like, I had the best time. Like I fucking love these girls and I love these people and I love, so, like when there's something negative that happens, it's hard to remember all the positive, but most of.

Well, our brain does sort of lean, you know, more to the, unfortunately, to the negative.

Yeah.

True. You know.

Tell me about your first love.

My first love?

Yeah.

My first, I mean, my first real love, was my ex-husband. I was young. I met him when I was 20.. I actually met him when I was 18..

Okay.

19.

How soon did you date to then get married?

Oh gosh, it was a whirlwind. And it was, we were engaged in four months, married at nine months, and then, you know, and then, like three years. Then I wanted to have a baby and we had Ryder. And then it kind of started to do that downward spiral.

Right. The classic. The classic. We all know it. How did you know you were ready for marriage at 21??

There wasn't an ounce of me. that wasn't, like, I didn't question it for a second. Really? Yeah. We were, we were so connected.

Did anyone around you be like, Kate, please don't get married right now?

No. Like my, the people I live in. let people make mistakes, you know. Okay.

So your mom didn't care. She's like.

Yeah. And by the way, not a mistake. I look back at my entire, you know, life at this point. And I'm like, I actually feel like I might have gotten it right, you know. Like.

Interesting. Right.

So, whereas if I probably didn't have the means, it would be a much more challenging thing. But inside of that, just because you're not supposed to be with someone doesn't mean that you can't create a big, beautiful experience. Totally. Which, I don't know how I've been able to do it, but it's like we just do it. Right.

What would you say? Because, like, I think you're right and I love how you describe that. I think so many people can be judgmental if you don't follow like the traditional route. Like, it's like 21 is too young, but then, like 30 is too old. It's like you can't fucking win as a woman.

I just like jump in the deep end of everything. So it's sort of like, I mean, the best thing was that I, in a time that could have been probably not very grounded, I've always sought home. I like my cozy, you know, I'm a homebody and I've always wanted a big family. I've always wanted to work hard and have a big, fun, crazy life. But, like, you know, I like to be home.

Like you, had that stability, even though, like externally, it looked all chaos, because your life is like you're thriving. You're a movie star. You get to go home to this guy and you're like, this is what I prefer.

Like a cozy, great vibe. Yeah.

I think something I was reading about you that I think is really relatable is like you talk about how, when your marriage ended, you still had like so much love for this person. And I'm wondering if you have any advice for women listening of like. maybe someone just went through a breakup and they're still so in love with their ex, but they know they need to move on. Like how the fuck do you do that?

Let's be very clear. Like if I didn't have children, I probably would never speak to them. Stop. I'm kidding. No.

It's a great point. I love everything you just said, because I think I had a conversation, I think it was with Camila Cabello and she was like, yeah, like it's tough. Like, where does the love go? Like when you break up with someone that you love so much, it's a strange thing to know, like they're alive and they're out there and I'm here.

And that's why that Goethe song was so, it was so like it hit a nerve for everybody.

Yes. Somebody that I used to know.

You're like, God, why didn't I write that? You know, but like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough. But what did she, is that?

No, she basically just said like it hurts, but it's like, you know, it's not supposed to be anymore. It was, we change constantly as people. Like I'm the same person, but a different version of myself when I was 21.. Oh, my God, I was madly in love. I'm not in love with him anymore, but I still, yes, I think you're right.

I have a friend who said something really, really great, which is like, you know, when you're in something and you're going through a wave, you know, he was also talking about it kind of like a DNA strand. Like, you know, people say it's like a roller coaster, but it's more like when you're with someone for a long time, it's like it, it's like it circulates, you know, moves. And I thought that was a very kind of a beautiful image for a long-term intimate relationship. And as it's shifting, when you start to feel yourself off balance, like it's much easier for us to go out, to externalize it and go, I'm not getting this, or I'm not receiving that. I'm, this is what that would look like over here.

Yeah.

And honestly, more, you know, I would say connective, because you're not seeking it from somewhere else. And then, if you get to that place where you're like, I don't know if I can do this anymore. It's not coming from anything you need from the outside world.

I think that the concept of accountability in relationships is like not talked about enough. And I love that you brought up, because it also gives you so much more autonomy over your own life when you actually take accountability as opposed to being like, he did this to me. And he's like, no, no one can do anything to you other than like physically.

I mean, unless you're in, like a very, very scary.

Oh, my gosh. Like abusive.

Put all of that aside. Right.

Like. if someone's making you feel a certain way, like you have the ability to control your own emotions and your actions and what you're doing and how you're reacting. Yeah.

And like look, you know, everybody holds their own wild card. Right? And like. sometimes that wild card works for some people and it really doesn't for others. And if you're holding two completely different wild cards, it can get fucking, really tumultuous and wild.

Like he told you. He was honest.

He was honest.

And you still rode the wave.

Yeah. You're holding different wild cards. Like if you were like great, then I'm going to do the same, and then you guys would have a – I mean you'd be, you know.

No, it's a great point. It's like sometimes we also – I think people – and it depends on where you're at. I think, health wise. It's like I, when I was younger, oh, blinders on. I'm like, he told me this.

What do you think was going to happen now?

I'm going to change him. No, you're not.

And also, you know, a lot of people, I think, find themselves in relationships where people feel insecure and they want to put people down and you take it. And at some point I think a lot of women I know have been in this situation. At some point, you know, you can point your finger out at them, but you can – at some point you're like, I'm not accepting this. Right.

Like. why am I here?

Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of feeds that, like, you know, push pull thing that a lot of people get very like toxically into.

Love.

But –.

No, I used to love it. I was like, oh, my God. You're like in love.

I was like, Kate, I'm alive.

And now, if I like, would meet someone at that point in my life, I think, when I got to like later in my 20s, I was like, I'm exhausted. Like absolutely get the fuck away from me if you're like playing games. But in my early 20s, like it kept my heart beating. I was like, this is a thrill. And it was just all because, like, I didn't want stability at that point.

Yeah, you got to learn.

Right. You got to be like –.

Yeah.

I have scenarios for you. because you have wisdom. I'm going to give you a scenario. I want to know if you would keep seeing the guy or if this would be a deal breaker.

How long have I been with him?

You've been together for eight months.

Oh, done. Out. See you later. Weird. So weird.

What about two years?

Then maybe I'd be like, okay, what am I doing? that's making you feel insecure? And, by the way, you can go into my phone anytime. You don't need to look at that.

Right.

Like if I'm with someone for two years, I'm not one of those people. that's like why are you looking in my phone? It's like –.

Right.

What's my – like here's my phone. I don't – I wouldn't live with secrecy or feel like. I need, you know. Yeah.

Have you ever caught someone going through your phone?

Oh, yeah. Emails.

How did you find out?

I could tell where there was like logins, you know. It was like stupid, you know. It was like – Yeah, which also is like bye. Like. you've got to be smarter than that.

Like you almost get like the ick because you're like wait. Like it would have been like cooler if you were like so sly.

But you're like so –.

I'm getting a notification. Yeah.

It's like what are you doing? No. Clearly someone's on my – yeah.

On my iPad or my computer, or whatever. It's like on my phone. It's like ding. Someone just logged into your MacBook.

Your boyfriend is on your –.

Stop. And did you confront? Did you end it?

It was already on the way out. Okay. It was like – Yeah.

Have you ever gone through a phone?

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Especially with shady guys. Like full on. How do you get in?

It's my favorite hobby back in the day.

I mean at some point in your life, a girl's been like, no, I'm gonna – no. Yeah. Something's up. It's one thing. if something's not up, then you should feel like – Okay, you have trust issues.

Don't CIA.

I'm gonna figure this out. Then you get it and then – Fuck. Yeah. I mean, please. Yes.

Okay, but when you play the game and you find things, how do you handle it? Because most of the time they're like, oh, it's Nolan Voight. You went through my fucking phone, you crazy bitch.

Yeah. Okay. It doesn't matter, but you're out of my life. Like, so what are we talking about? Yeah, thank God, because now I'm never gonna see you again.

This is great.

But I'm really like I'm – like you would have to be doing something really shitty. You know what I mean? Like, oh, no.

Like you wouldn't care –.

Like, you're telling me one thing and doing another, and I'm not gonna do that. So I'm gonna find out. and then – I also did do the thing too, which is fun, where you just lie. Yeah. Where you're just like, no, I read it.

Because I have a friend, that's the bartender, and she was there and she saw you.

Oh, it's so fun. I've done all of it.

And that's the best, is when you know they've fucked you over, and then you come up with the best lie of all time and it's like – Oh, my God.

I can't even believe it. And they're like sweating.

God. And you're like, you know what's really sad? I used to do this. It's like, I know everything. And then they'd go like pale white.

But people wonder why women should rule the world. Because we're incredibly resourceful.

Period. Period.

It's like, guys. No. We're gonna strategize this and by the end of it, you're gonna be sweating bullets and I'm gonna leave you.

The difference is we get notifications that you're hacking into our computers. We come up with lies. You didn't even know we went into your fucking iPhone.

I know. Guys are so funny. I love guys so much because they're quite – they're very simple. I mean, not that they're not, like, complex, and, you know. But, like, the foundation of how men work.

Oh, we give them more credit, for sure.

Than it actually is.

Half the time. if they're giving you – like, if you get a weird vibe, the weird vibe is right. Like, they're cheating or they're doing – like, sometimes women will be like, well, maybe it's because his grandmother was not feeling well, so maybe he's been acting weird. No, no, no. It's what you think it is.

Yeah. Or, like, if there's, like, three burner phones, like, there's a problem. You know what I mean? It's gonna get weird at some point. Like, if you see a burner phone in a Dob kit, just run.

You gotta know.

You gotta have something to talk about over dinner. Right. Or, like, take it. Just steal it. Just, like, take the phone and then never talk to him again.

And then you call the number, you meet up with the girl, you get cocktails, you laugh about it. No, you have to look at it, though. You're right. It's comedy, because men are – sometimes men are so dense. I also love men.

But see, you're – how old are you?

29.

So you're like – see, I'm in the age where everyone's married.

Okay.

And we live vicariously through our late 20s, like, or early 30s, friends. Yeah. Where we're like, oh, let me tell you the story. Right. Now we're all like, you know, like, it's like.

There's no burner phones.

No, no. And that's –, no, yeah.

But sometimes we want a little burner phone.

I have a friend who has someone with a burner phone.

But sometimes you want a little burner phone action. So, no, I think that's such a good point, though. It's like, ladies, stop ignoring the fucking signs. If it's right in front of you, it's probably what it looks like. But it's hard.

I know.

You have friends who are more dramatic than others and we all have to, like, let each other go through it. I just don't like when people – like, we know when it turns and it's unhealthy that we need to, like, rally around our friends. True. Like, if something is not right and they're kind of stuck in a really unhealthy –.

Yeah.

And it's, like, not funny anymore.

Yes. When it's not funny anymore.

Yeah. Then you're like, okay, you know what? What's going on?

It's almost like when the girl dinners – because all girlfriends talk about each other, and it's not even, like, behind your back. It's like, oh, God, she's with him again. Like, we know he's going to cheat again, and we love her to death. From that, when it gets to, like, I don't even want to fucking hear about it. Yeah.

And we can't help you, you know? Right. Or, like, support it. That's when it gets hard.

That's hard.

Yeah.

That's hard. Okay. He's really close friends with his ex.

Oh, interesting. Like, how close is close?

Like, they get lunch, I would say, every month, every other month, and they –.

Do they have a kid?

Nope.

Oh. Problematic.

For me, personally. For me, too. For me, too.

If they had a kid, I'd be like, oh, this is family and we have to, like, bring her all in, you know? And my other thing is, like, if I'm going to have dinner with her and then you're going to go have lunch with her, we're good. If we're all besties, like, my best friend was my ex's ex-girlfriend.

Hold on.

And when we – Hold on. It's not as complicated as it sounds. Basically, I met my best friend through my ex-husband, who used to date her.

Oh, fascinating.

So when I was married to him, I met her. We became best friends.

Got it. And that was his ex?

And that was his ex. But we were – we loved each other. Right. There was no, like, I'm going to go have dinner with, or lunch with my ex-girlfriend.

You were included.

Oh, yeah. And she'd rather be with me than hang out with him. So, like, that makes sense to me.

I agree. I think it does depend sometimes on, like, did you meet the – like, did you know the ex? This is fucking confusing me. Like, did you know the person before or after? Like, if my best friend became best friends with my ex, I'd be like, why the –?

Oh, okay. Wait, wait, wait.

Okay. Here we go.

You mean if you're bestie –.

I'm dating a guy.

Okay.

Right. And my best friend meets him, likes him. Woo! We break up. And she stays friends with him?

It depends.

I mean – I guess it depends how it ended. How it ended.

It depends.

He ruined my life. He cheated on me.

I mean, that's a tough one, because I think it would be like,

Right. That's fair.

You can kind of feel when it's is or when it isn't.

No, I think it's also just about, like, respect. Like, communicate with your fucking friends. If you're staying friends with your girl's ex and you guys are, like, in love, well –.

Okay, I'm gonna give you a scenario. Okay. You're not friends with this girl. You have mutual friend groups.

Okay.

Okay. Mutual friend groups that, you know, run into each other here and there at a party. Oh, hey. Nice to see you. Like, oh, good.

Okay. You said the only moments I hang out with her is, like, in big friend groups. Yeah. She's around –.

Like, maybe you share a friend.

We've never gone to a lunch. You don't text. You don't – Oh, my God. She can't be mad.

Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people who would say otherwise. What?

That's networking. How are we supposed to meet anyone?

I don't know you. Right. Like, if –.

You can't be mad at me. That's crazy. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. If it's your best friend – That's it.

Well, if it's, like, even, like, a close friend.

A close friend.

But, like, girls who throw shade to girls that, like, are dating but they don't know them, I think that's weird.

No, you gotta move on. And I also think, if you don't have their phone number, you owe them literally nothing.

Oh. Hmm. Hmm. I mean, I'm not mad at it.

Like, we're exhausted.

And, like, this is, like, kind of weird because, like, what happens when I have to, like, leave? Leave for a week.

True.

Like, is this, like –?

Like, is this something you need every day, regardless of whether I'm here or not?

And it also depends on, I mean, his age.

Uh-huh.

Because it would sort of determine whether or not he was –.

Just going through it.

Yeah. Or, like, if he was young, like, that would make sense. If he's, like, 40-something – 40.. Like, men's, libidos kind of go down at late 20s.

Right. So he's, like, a sex addict.

So, like, if his libido's that high, it's like, what are you on?

Literally.

It's like, I always say this about women, especially as women get older, there's sort of this concept around women that they should become less sexual as they get older. But the reality is is that women, as we get older, our libidos get more intensified to a certain age than men's. So it's sort of like this made up thing. Right. That women, as we get older, are supposed to be –.

Right. Like, died out. Like, we're not even having sex. We're not sexual.

Like, a shriveled – Yeah. When it's literally the opposite.

Yeah.

So, somewhere down the line, men didn't really want women to be very sexy as they got older. Right. I think. So they kind of made it so, like, oh, no, like, if you're no longer, you know, mating for us, then you should just go over here. So true.

Did I read this correctly that your therapist once told you to take a break from men for a year?

Yeah. Where did you? – Where did I say that? Yeah. I took, like, a full year off.

How old were you when you did this?

30-something. I just – I was, like, at that place where I was, like, I don't want to keep repeating any patterns anymore. I have a great therapist who was, like, I'm – I can help you, but you have to, like, do it.

Right. You got to, like, get off the sauce, Kate. He's like, get off the sauce.

And well, mind you, I always get distracted, you know. Right. You like to flirt.

You like boys.

Yeah.

You said you love boys.

I just love the –. I love the, you know, like, ooh, this is fun. I'm going to text this person. But it was really interesting because he took me, like, basically, I was like, okay, well, I guess I'm – I can't even text, guys.

You couldn't flirt. If a guy came up to you, you're, like, just not interested. Yeah.

I mean, I could talk to them, but I was, like, there's no – I couldn't give them my number. So I'd be like – they'd be like, hey, can I have your number? I'd be like, you know, no. Like, I'm not – My therapist said no. I'm not in – I'm not there right now.

Not me.

Yeah. Yeah. It just was – it's not fun, you know? So I was, like, well – and then, because we were going through very specific type of therapy, it was really about, like,

me.

And then I had this one sort of breakthrough that was very emotional that I don't think I would have been able to access if I had any distraction. So, like, it allowed me to see things much more clearly. And then, within six months, I was, like, I didn't care about my phone. I didn't care about, like, if I was gonna go out and meet my girlfriends. I wasn't, like, that thing where I'm, like, oh, I wonder if so-and-so would be there or, like, ooh, we should maybe call up so-and-so and then do that, you know?

Interesting.

It sort of became – and then the guys that I would normally have been, like, ooh, was, like, mm. Nope.

That's incredible. It was pretty amazing. So you lasted the year.

Oh, yeah. I'm very disciplined. Damn. Yeah. Yeah.

One year.

One year and, yeah. It's pretty incredible. I knew I was longer because I was – then I was so happy single. I was single for, like, three and a half years.

Being single is incredible. If you're, like, in the right place and, like, you're mentally focused on yourself, you're, like, I am fucking great. I don't need anyone. And that's where you want to get to when you're single.

I love it. I love it.

I have empathy for women that when you get through – out of a relationship, you almost have those withdrawal symptoms of, like, oh, my God. I'm used to having a partner. I'm used to having them here. And then you get good at being alone. You're, like –.

And I don't think, if I would have done that – if I didn't do that, I would never have ended up with Danny, you know?

Let's talk about Danny.

Yeah. Because Danny, like, he's just such a good man, and I'm not so sure I was, like, attracted to the good man. I mean, I was attracted to good men. But, like, you know, the uncomplicated kind of – I liked a feisty, wild type. And whereas Danny has that in him, his values are very sturdy and he's such a lovely person.

But I think that's a great thing, for, like, all the women listening to think about. It's, like, when you're single, you get anxious of, like, okay, like, I need to find who's my next person. Like, oh, my gosh. Like, my clock. Like, what am I going to do?

There's this really funny, like, I see – I, of course, get fed all these, like, Aries memes. And there's this one where they're, like, I'm an Aries. Of course I, da-da-da. Like, and there was one person that goes, I was, like, I'm an Aries. Like, of course I love to be in relationships.

Yeah.

Adventure, you know, like, excitement. So, like, the sort of good man, like, solid relationship is, like, Aries, I think, a little bit in our head is, like, a little bit, like, hmm, is this going to, like – is there going to be something that's going to keep this interesting? or is this the rest of my life? And I think a lot of, like, fire signs would relate to this. So, for me, those three years was, like, oh, I'm actually, like, really love – I loved being without – because I was so happy alone, like, that sort of, like, excitement thing was, like, I don't – that's actually not really what's going to –.

You're, like, I'm exciting. I excite myself.

That's right. It's, like, I can create my own new-ness.

You and Danny had known each other for 15 years before you guys got together?

I met Danny when I was 23,, pregnant with Ryder, and Danny was in high school. Yeah.

Who made the first move?

Danny. Yeah. He was very, very slow – slow burn. So slow, I was, like – I was, like, this is getting – this is weird. Like, is this – is this, like, a thing, or is this, like, not a thing, you know?

That's so cute.

I know. He's the best. Honestly, like, I'm – I'm just – it's, like, I'm so happy.

Good for you. Because I think it's, like, incredible when you find – I love, when you find people in your life that you, like – I can tell you're, like – you're glowing when you talk about him.

I could. just, like, you know, I really believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have, right? The options are endless.

Yeah.

When people are, like, I can't find anybody, I'm, like, mmm, you're not looking in the right places. Like, there's somebody for everybody. You have to just be open to it, and it has to – and you have to let the expectation go. Yeah. Like, he's not going to look the way you want him to look, and he might not – you know, all this, like, this is my vision board.

Right. Like, you may be with someone that's right in front of you, but you're, like, but that's not what I wanted. And you're, like, but if it's right, it's right. Like, don't run away just because it's not your vision board, bitch. Like, throw out Pinterest.

That's right. That's right. But it's good to have vision boards. I like it. But, like, be open to something totally different.

What does independence look like for you in a relationship?

Great question. Oh, this question's so important. I think, like, it's so hard, because communication. I think, in order to be – truly have, like, independence, you have to be good communicators.

Huh?

Four in the morning?

What could you have been doing?

Whose car did you end up in?

No, literally saying.

No, but I really – but, like, independence is, like, what works for you. Like, what might work for me doesn't work for him. So, in order for me to feel independent, I think you have to communicate what that is. Like, my thing is, I just want to be told, you know? Like, just tell me that you're, you know, where you are.

Right.

Some people are fine with not knowing. They're much more comfortable with that, secure with it. My thing is, like, if you tell me that you're going to call me at 11, but you call me at 2, like, that's going to not create independence for either of us.

Yeah. No, I think it's a great point.

I could talk about this shit all day long. I love it.

I could talk to you forever, because I love having insightful conversations where we don't have the same background, so I'm interested to hear, like, ooh, like, what is your take on this?

Yeah, I'm also, like, a full disclaimer. I should just wear, like, I don't know what I'm talking about. Me either, but it's fine. Like, it's like – for me, I'm also, like, I'm saying this, but I also am very happy to be wrong about all of it.

No, but women should run the world. So, like, okay. This album, I think it's incredible because, like I said, you have an incredible voice, but the songwriting is phenomenal. And knowing that you said you have, like, hundreds of songs, just, like, in your house, how did you decide what you were going to put into this album?

We just started fresh. Okay. There was no, like – I mean, there's two songs on there that I wrote before I started writing with Linda, and then, after we got out of the studio writing with Linda Perry, who's a writer on a lot of it, we went back – Dan and I went back and we kind of, you know, restructured two other songs that I had written before that. But it's all, like, of that time. Yeah.

Well, that's why I'm, like, listening to, like, the push and pull and moving on. Like, there's a lot – that's why I wanted to talk to you about you, and I think that's when people connect the most with lyrics, when they get to know someone more. And I can – I'm telling you, my fans fucking love music. So they're going to be like, okay, now that we know Kate more, the lyrics will –.

Honestly, it's, like, such a – it's, like, because I waited so long to put something out, it was really important that it was reflective. So that there was, like – for me, that it was where I'm at now, but that there's a – that there's a story of sort of, you know, a life well-loved. And whether that be with my son, or whether it be in past relationships that didn't work out, or where I'm at now in – with my Romeo, which was – which is, you know, and that's just Danny and I wrote that together. But, like, you know, that kind of – the freedom in that song, you know, and I have always been a hopeless romantic. And I'm going to take the word hopeless out of it, because I actually feel that there's – there's – I'm a hopeful romantic, you know.

We need a good cry.

But, like, for me with this, I wanted it to feel like what the album title is. Yeah. To love fully is a glorious experience. And it comes to you in so many different ways. Yeah.

No, I can't thank you enough for coming on. Like, I had such a fabulous time getting to know you, and I'm so excited that I got to sit with you for this long to, like, talk about all the girl things, but talk about the music, because it is intertwined. Like you said, like, this album is about love and, like, the experiences that you've had. And I think it's inspiring, honestly. I think some people feel, like, constrained to, like, that was the one love of my life.

And, like, Gonna Find Out, is, like, about not wanting a relationship. Right. Sing about three years. It's about being in that, yeah, for three years. You know, that's kind of like a song about when you just want to, like, when you don't, that, like, little, you know, like, spark that you have with someone where you're just, like, is this going to go down?

Okay. Last question, then, I know you have to go. What is your favorite song?

By the way, I have to go make out with a guy. I have one scene to do today. Stop. Stop. I'm making out with a total stranger.

And you're coughing.

Kate.

I am COVID. No. Fuck.

I'm not telling him. Wait, you have to make out? Like, full make out time? I have to, like, make out with this random guy.

How long?

I mean, Kate. You will see it on Netflix at some point. Stop. Yeah. I don't know, but I've been, like, having anxiety over this.

How do you get mentally prepared for that?

I've never, I don't know. You're channeling Emma Stone in, you know.

Poor Things. Poor Things. Poor Things.

Okay.

Things. You're channeling Emma Stone. Right. Poor Things.

If she could do that.

You can do this.

I can do this. Come on. You know what I mean? Like, get out there. I can make out with some random guy.

Easy.

Yeah. So.

Well, thank you so much for coming on. This was truly so fun. You're fabulous. Thank you.

Thank you.