Kelsea Ballerini: Love Yourself Enough to Start Over [VIDEO]
2023-11-29 00:57:44
The most-listened to podcast by women. Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy has been creating conversation since 2018. Cooper cuts through the BS with topics and guests - asking the burning questions you want the answers to. There will be laughter, there will be tears. There will be everything in between. New episodes drop on Wednesday and Sunday. Want more? Join the Daddy Gang @callherdaddy
John B. Is that you chase Alex? Is Kelsey here?
Hello father, hello father. Yes, she's a national girlie now, oh my god.
I'm so happy to be here.
What is up Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call her Daddy.
Okay, Chase is leaving because he has to go back and film, and he has a life and he has a job. It was so nice meeting you, thank you for all the shots last night. I smell like tequila, I still smell like tequila too, so God bless.
I'm in good hands. Yeah, love you bye. No, you just go quick, just quickly, quickly. We're gonna take a break for a little sexual...
Oh, wait, what? oh my god, okay?
It's a dog leash. I swear to God, Oh my God, what the fuck is going on? Bye man, love you.
Buddy Kelsey Ballerini, welcome back to call her daddy, welcome to Nashville. thank you for having me. I've never been to Nashville and it's been pretty surreal to, like, get to experience it with you. And Chelsea handler.
I'm like, What the fuck is life like, what is happening? It's so good, I cannot believe I'm finally in your house. I've seen it on Instagram like a creeper, but being here, it is the most charming, beautiful...
Thank you, wait, okay.
So tell me about this house, okay, so this is like my 1920s cottage. I tried to buy this house 2020. During the pandemic, I was in the penthouse, which is crazy.
Crazy, I'm gonna drive you by it.
Isn't it crazy, too? When you write songs, or if I do episodes, sometimes I think some fans can't decipher, like, is that actually true? Or was it like a metaphor? Like, Where did you live? And you're like, No, it was a penthouse and I'm gonna drive you by it, I'm gonna drive.
You by it girl, memory lane girl. We're going everywhere.
But I tried to buy this house and I was like, I want a house that feels like I don't have to be a full adult yet. And I saw this house on Zillow and I was like, Oh my God, this is my house. I tried to buy it, it didn't work out.
Another wonderful, amazing artist bought it. She was going through a divorce at the time. I moved 0.9 miles down the road to a house that I never really loved, but, like, you know, needed to move out of the penthouse. And then, whenever I got divorced, I texted Casey, who bought this house?
Casey Musgraves Yes. And I was like, I don't even know if you knew. It was me that was trying to get this house the same time as you, but it was. And if you ever wanted to move, would you let me know first?
And within like, a month, um, she was like, I think I found my dream home. Are you serious? We didn't use real estate agents. It was like, woman to woman, and she was like, this was my healing house.
And now it's like, it's makes me like a little emo, yeah.
That is so crazy that she came here during her divorce and was like, this was like her sanctuary. And then for you to. Also the fact that you even saw it before knowing who had it and you just knew to something about this house. I'm not going to lie. Like, even walking in, I didn't, it's so beautiful on the outside, but walking in, it's even more beautiful inside.
Like, there's something so calming about this house. So daddy gang. Last night I finished my tour, crazy, crazy, like, I don't know how you do it.
I'm fucking exhausted. It's a wild world, it's so crazy, but I cannot thank you enough for coming out. The daddy gang freaked out for you, like?
For Calvin, seeing how loud they were last night for you, everyone was like, damn like the Ryman is like popping the fuck off tonight. It was insane. We go to the after party and Kelsey's like, we need to take some tequila shots.
And I'm like, absolutely, because last time we hung out.
It was so intense, so like that. That episode was so intense and I was so nervous. And it was just a heavy conversation, a beautiful conversation, but heavy. One of my favorite things listening to you and your podcast is like, How much fun you have? And I was like, I want to have fun with you.
This time, I think, let's go, let's get in the car and let's get it done, let's get it done. I have very excited, okay?
Buckle up buttercup, let's go baby.
I do feel like this is a good time to tell you that I got in six car accidents the first year.
Oh my god, amazing.
Um, I've never gotten in a car accident and I'm not. I'm not going to drive today, though. I got you. Oh my god, your car is adorable.
My jeep, I love a good jeep. Come on in, Yes, girl, here we go.
Oh my God, you know what? I get more nervous when I'm driving in a car with someone else, so.
Just know like, I'm not judging you. Okay? well, please don't judge me for anything else, just.
Not my driving, literally. When you do, start it off, Kelsey by saying, I know it's car, well, it's okay. It was like backing into a dumpster kind of thing.
Totally so, you're from Tennessee, I am. you grew up in Knoxville.
I did, and then you moved to Nashville when you were pursuing music, when I was 15. What would you say? It is about Tennessee that is so special to you.
Oh, I mean, it's just all I've known. And so, like, I had a very like country music upbringing. Yeah, and so when I fell in love with songwriting. And I learned that Nashville was like three hours down the road, I was like, I have to get there. And so mom moved me here when I was 15..
When you were growing up, did you always want to be a singer? Like, When did you know?
No, I, I always loved music like I did, like Glee Club and shit. I never had a good role. Um, but I, I just, I loved music, but I didn't know that. You could just like, pick that as a career, that makes sense.
You know, like there wasn't anything around me until, like, Taylor Swift, if I'm being so candid, that made me think that that was like a viable option for me. And so, yeah, once. Once I started writing, I already had like, the background of like, loving music and being really active in, like, my choral department and like, worship. A church at that point, which, speaking of, we're about to pass the college I went to for two years, um, it is a Church of Christ College. Um, and let me just paint the picture for you, please paint it.
I was very, very, very, very, very straight laced, okay, did not drink, did not do anything. And in this college that we're pulling up to, you were not allowed to the girls, not allowed in boys dorms, vice versa. Ever so, the most rebellious thing I did in my two years at Lipscomb. I dated this guy, he was on the basketball team. And um, he and I both stayed on campus one weekend. And he gave me his clothes and I dressed up as him and I scaled the wall of this dorm.
Stop and snuck in his window, and cameras just thought that I was him because I was dressed up like Kelsey. She's giving rebel, she's giving right there, it rumble.
I'm.
Not going to get my honorary degree, it's not going to happen now like, we're taking you off.
The wall, All of your awards are gone, Kelsey. I love that. You're like the most rebellious thing in college I ever did, but honestly, kind of rebellious.
Also that climate for that campus. I also love that, like you now are an adult, and you like looking back on that. Like it was so rebellious. But like in those moments, it feels like the end of the world, like if you got caught.
I was a rule breaker and it's me which you're getting to know me like that was not my vibe.
It was like, very scary. So did you ever get in trouble growing up? Like, what were you like as a Tell me I'm an only child?
Okay, so you were rule follower, the perfect child, your parents love you.
So much. My parents split when I was 12, so then I had big peacemaker energy. Like I was always, like, trying to make sure everyone was okay, and that's been like the shedding of my skin the last few.
Years, honestly. Oh, that's so interesting. I know what you mean of like, you're trying to like, appease, to make sure that like, did you ever think they would get back together, or was it like?
It was over, No, it was so over. But it's interesting. Because, like, I've always talked to shit about their divorce. And now, having gone through it myself, I have so much more empathy and like, respect and perspective for them and what they went through with a kid.
You know, you're. It's so interesting, though, as we get older and go through more experiences like, you're, you're. Just perspective on things, change. Cause, like, in the moment, I'm sure at 12, that was like the most heartbreaking thing in your mind. Yeah, but probably for the best.
Yeah.
Are you close with your mom and your dad? I'm super close with them both. My mom moved me here, so I see her like three times a week, yeah.
But I'm really close with them both. How would people?
Describe you if they're like, Oh, I went to high school with Kelsey Ballerini. Well, I think there.
Were two very different experiences, like the the one that I went to in Knoxville, the one that I write all the songs about, Go Bobcats, all that. Um, it was like the two most impressionable years of my life. Like, it's where I joined, like the Glee club, and like, had a really beautiful friend group for the first time. It's where, like, you know, I had, like, my first boyfriend, um, like all like these, really like, fundamental building blocks for me.
Also, like, there was a school shooting at my high school. I know that's like, really heavy to throw into the mix. But it was one of those things that, like, really altered my life. And were you there that day? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I was. Did people lose their lives? Yeah, there was, um, there was one kid, his name was Ryan, Um, and he, Yeah, he passed away.
I'm so sorry. It was like one of obviously like the most traumatic things I have ever experienced. But it was that that made my mom go, like, Okay, let's move to Nashville. Wow, holy. I didn't talk about it for the longest time.
Uh, just because it's so heavy and it's so um common, and uh, and also people just immediately go into a gun conversation.
Which I'm not comfortable with. Totally, no, completely. It's like you were in a school that's went down and that was your experience that was so traumatizing. But those two years?
Are like the years that I just hold like, so closely. Do you have, if you had to say like?
What is your? Oh, I made it moment like when it really hit you of like, Oh, we've done this.
Oh, like, I don't, I don't know if I've had one. ALex I'm being so honest. Like I have moments, and especially in the last year, like there's been crazy shit, like doing SNL, being on the cover of which. Congratulations. Um, like, those are like things that are just so beyond anything that I could have even like, dreamt up. But I think when you have the moment of like, Oh, I'm peaking, you're peaking, right?
And I don't, I'm not done yet. I feel the same way. It's so crazy, like.
People ask me that in interviews, sometimes of like, what's your moment? and I'm like, there's the way to compare. It would be like, how when you're short. If I said to myself, younger me would be out of my mind, like younger Kelsey, younger Alex, we would be like, we're living our dreams like. This is crazy. Like the fact that even were two young women sitting in this car right now and we're on the time 100 list, like, what the fuck?
Like, it's not that I don't recognize how crazy, but it's when you're so in it and you're so motivated and you're driven it. You almost don't have time to, like, soak it in too much because you kind of got to just keep it moving. And I feel like a lot of young women, should I should give myself this advice? And you and everyone? It's like we got to find ways to, like, be more proud of ourselves and take those pause moments because, like I said, younger us would be so proud. So it's like women listening to this. Like, if you finally got that job that you wanted or the race that you celebrate.
Yeah, and don't quiet it down, even like I'm not even just saying this. Even last night, I walked off stage and I was like, that was so loud. Like the fact that people like cared, that I like, showed up it. Just like. Those are still moments where I'm like, it just wasn't like that a few years ago and I think, especially as women.
We are like conditioned to feel insecure if we lean into, like, our wins. Yeah, a hundred percent, and people think we're bragging or whatever, a hundred percent.
And it's like, if a man was doing anything we're doing in this car, it would be like, he's such a boss. Like, he's hot, he's sexy, he like, owns it, he's rich.
Like, it's, it just feels strange, and I'm I'm still working through that too of like, how to be more like, comfortable in my success.
Um, we're on music row.
Oh, fuck, okay. So what is Music Row?
Okay, so it's changed a lot, but it's 16th, 17th Avenue in Nashville. And this is like where all of the record labels are, all the recording studios, publishing companies, all of that. But we're going to go past my label in a few minutes, so it's special.
I didn't even know what to expect when you said that. But it's like all of these little homes, essentially they look like little houses, and then some like condo, apartment, and people just go in here and write.
They go in, they write, they record. I mean, like, RCA is one of the most famous studios, and it's down here on the left.
So some of the most famous musicians have been on this street.
Oh my gosh, I mean, not even just country, I mean, Nashville is like, obviously like, known for country music, but no, like everyone has recorded here, so I'm signed to an indie label, okay?
It's called Black River, and it's part of the thing that I wear is like a badge of honor now. But like, you know, when I was starting, I was in college trying to get any kind of like gig, yeah, and everyone passed on me.
All the majors passed on me because women were not working, and this indie label took a chance on me. And like, we've changed each other's lives and so this is it. And they have a big like rolling up the welcome mat.
Shut the fuck up, no, shut the fuck up your face. That is so epic, that is so Kelsey, that is so iconic.
Oh my God, are you kidding me? This is? This is where I've.
Like, Made all my music Daddy Gang. Kelsey's head is wrapped around a giant building.
That is so fucking epic. I'm like, guys, that's that was, that's a big one, dude, that's a big.
One, Oh, you must feel so fucking proud of your dude. that is so dope. Are you kidding me? It's.
Cool, I remember when I was in college, like driving down Music Row and seeing all the people that had their number ones and all their like accolades out front. And it's cool to be, but.
That's also cool, like you said, like, no one wanted you at the time. You're working, you're you're trying to make it. And for someone to take a chance on you, and not only to take a chance. And then you prove yourself and you change your life and their lives, that is, yeah, that must just.
Feel so surreal. Also, we're moving into a place called the Gulch. Okay, this little area down here is very um special to me because my first place that I ever had on my own is down here. It was a studio apartment.
It was government rent controlled, cause I I could not afford anything. Yeah, um, I lived there for two years and I'll bring you by that next. But this is the song. Penthouse, um, those top, those top two windows on the other side were penthouse.
Yeah.
What does nothing? nothing? yeah, I really feel nothing, yeah.
Now I just think about like the song, and I think about how many women have like related to it. And like told me their journey of like. You know, when you play house and you're trying to, like, make things work when it's just not working. And so I. It makes me feel very like I'm. I'm proud of this chapter now, you know, totally, but it is interesting to drive by.
I'm like, Oh, what a time. And then right over here was my first one.
I'll bring you over there. But that's such a mindfuck that it went from like your rent controlled studio to then literally the penthouse up there. Yeah, and just so everyone knows, obviously we're not rehashing it, but like the first episode that you ever came on to give context. Like, Kelsey was married and in this relationship that she was not happy in, and it ended, obviously. But that was the place that you guys lived together and that is where, you know, the song Penthouse originated from is like, being so lonely in a penthouse.
Are we behind sewage right now? No, we are behind. are we behind?
Shit, this is what's so fun about being in the cars. Like, we get deep for a second and we're like, are we getting an accent? Is that that is literally shit in a can? It's literally shit in a can?
We are driving behind a bunch of shit moving around. Can we also just have a moment like, I'm you're a hype queen for a second? But you just played your biggest arena, sold it out like, I'm sorry you're nominated for a Grammy girl. It's been like the craziest year of my whole.
Life of my whole life in every way imaginable, like, truly. And when I sat down with you last time, like I was, I was still. Everything was still feeling very chaotic in my life, you know? And I feel like since I saw you last, it's just like blossomed in such a beautiful way. That was my first apartment ever.
Oh, you were like, in the thick of it, I was in the thick of it.
Where were you at in your life, like mentally, when you lived there? Compared to selling out arenas and winning, you know, like just all these awards and getting a nominated for a Grammy.
Like you, I am like, when I know what I want, I am focused and I am working. And so I think in that. I was writing all the time, and that's the thing too with my story. Like I. It's been grassroots like. The whole thing was just it shouldn't have worked. Like, I'm a female artist on an independent label and country music.
Like, there's not a lot to like of history that tells me that that could work, you know? And so it was just like consistency and showing the fuck up every single time for a lot of years. And like this year, like we've been talking about, like, there have been so many big moments. I have to pass this truck of shit, dude, I'm doing it.
It's starting to give.
Me, the ache, No, you guys, like, I wish you could feel like not a tractor, a tractor, and literally just a bunch of shit sloshing around in front of our faces. We had to go, we had to go, but it's.
Everything for the last decade has, like, been such groundwork and such, like, sure, like blood, sweat and just like work. And this year it finally feels like I'm not pushing.
A boulder uphill, you know, grinding for so long. When you get to that part where everyone is like, how does it feel to be this? It's like, Thank God, it's about fucking time.
Like, you spend years in the making of working and working, and trying and trying and trying different routes and trying. And people turning you down, and people calling you crazy, and people passing you, that was something.
That I really had to get comfortable with of. Like, there would be artists that would get signed to, you know, bigger labels with more like pull behind them. And they would fly past me and I'd be like, What am I doing wrong? And I would spend so much time focusing on other people that were winning that I couldn't. I was too distracted to honor, like the journey that I was supposed to be on.
You know, I feel like that's so. Could also be so helpful for people. Listening is like, we are our own worst enemies. We're comparing ourselves, especially to people either in our industry or your people, your age if you get out of college. And I know so many people write into me being like, my friend got the job, or my friend's making more, or my friends in the relationship.
My friend got married, I'm 30, I don't know what to do. Like, we freak ourselves the fuck out because the timeline doesn't match the other people's timeline, and it's like, it doesn't fucking matter what other people are doing.
You don't want their life, no, you want your life. Yeah, and you got to just even, like you said, all the way back to you being younger and things transpiring to then get you to Nashville. Like, it all happened the way it was supposed to happen.
Yeah, it's hard.
To trust the journey, though, and you're like, girl, it's hard. It's hard, cause there's a lot.
Of low moments and a lot of, like, alone nights where you're like, Am I fucking doing the right thing? And I think it's okay to doubt yourself, I feel like we like, feel shame. If you're doubting yourself, that's okay, like that's normal to be questioning if you're doing the right thing.
It's just the comparison, that's the thief of joy, and I definitely went through that.
You don't have to talk about this, but I did think it was incredible, cause I was talking about it this morning with my hair stylist. We were talking about you at the CMT Awards and your decision to bring out Drag Queens during the performance, and you got a lot of backlash. People were outraged.
People were like, this is the time to cancel her. Because that was also during a time where anti-drag and anti-trans was being pushed, especially in Tennessee, in Tennessee, yeah.
Especially in Tennessee. Talk to me about your decision to do that.
Um, well, what I'll say is, I can't imagine what it feels like to be the drag Queen on stage. Because the hate that I got for that was like the loudest I've ever gotten from, like the public. But it doesn't compare to, like what they're getting all the time. And it really put me in my place and, like, checked me because I was like, I've always been an ally. What does that like? But what does it mean, you know? And I just felt like it was a really important time to, like, show up in a way that I could on a stage.
That felt really important, absolutely, and my lesson from that was like what I felt from the backlash of that. Times. A million is literally what they go through to to express themselves, to love who they love, to be, who they are, whatever, whatever it is like. And that, to me, was like a really, really eyeopening takeaway from that.
Also, we're.
On Broadway, yeah, right, as we're having like the most intense conversation, there's like drums going. Um, no, I just to wrap that up. I will say, like, I think I can speak for so many people and then can't speak for the other people. But there was such an insane. I obviously already had respect for you, but there's such a respect I have for you to like.
Make that statement, because that's what I was talking about with people this morning was like, I didn't know you were, that, I didn't like. No one knows, like, who's an ally, who's not? And like. It was such a statement and it was so powerful and it's so fucking crazy that people were that disturbed by it. But I commend you for doing it and I agree with you. It's like we will never understand. But what we can try to do is uplift the voices. And, like, keep spreading awareness of like this is, let people do whatever the fuck they want to do.
Let them live their lives and worry about yourself. And it's it's disgusting. The hate, Um, Broadway, Broadway, Holy shit, Broadway. I don't even know what to like.
It is a Wednesday at one o'clock. Yeah, yeah, dude, dude, every bar has music.
I mean, it's so.
It's so legendary, like when I'm home now, like, I'll have a girl's nights and we'll.
That's where I get it out of my system, got it so I do Broadway every now and again. I also just.
Like, refuse to not be normal ever, like, specifically in the last year, my life has changed so much, but like, I just crave doing normal. Real shit, you know, like all my closest friends have, like, real jobs. And you know, like, I want to do what they're doing on the weekends with them. So I just don't. I don't want to cater to my life changing you weren't even home for.
How many days were you in that house this year? I mean, like, honestly, since I got my house last.
November probably, probably, 50 nights maybe.
Yeah, okay, how do you stay sane? And like, Where the fuck are you? You're just I to be so candid. I just did a three day intensive, um, to really like, make sure that I'm okay. I just like I just turned 30..
My life is like, very, um, unrecognizable from how it was a couple of years ago, in all beautiful ways. Wait, so what is a three day intensive? So it was like, um, no phones and eight hours of therapy a day. Oh my god, yeah.
And so I did, like talk therapy and like equine therapy and some other equine therapy with horses. Oh my god, it was so power, like it was really powerful.
Um, and it was really good. Like, I feel like I kind of like, tuned back into myself and it's I. I think it's important for everyone, especially around our age, like, as we're growing up and figuring out our lives and our next steps. Like, just to, like, keep checking in on yourself and your progress and your growth, and like, making sure that you're.
Good, okay, wait, so tell me, like, where we're going and like, what this place means to you, so you're taking me to a bar?
Okay, I'm taking you to a bar, but even though I'm fucking hung over, shit, Kelsey, not for long. Okay. Broadway is the place that everyone knows, but Santa's.
Is a double wide trailer a double? Santa is usually there. I think he's there today for us, okay?
He, um, it's like his place. Okay, it's my favorite night out. Okay, we're at Santa.
Merry.
Christmas, you know, I love Christmas, so I'm very happy right now, it's basically Christmas.
Now let's go get drunk. I love how I'm like, I'm so hungover, let's go look how, just like.
It's one place like this and this is my heaven. I've been here with Halsey, I've been here with Ed Sheeran, it is like it's the haunt.
It's where people go to just vibe, let's fucking go.
Kelsey, Let's go.
This is what we're going to wear forever. Daddy gang, come drink with us.
We're going into Santa's bar, come on, the show has begun. Santa's pub, the show has begun.
Okay, hello, Santa is one of my favorite characters in this town, Santa Santa.
Hello, hi, I'm Alec. Merry Christmas. You don't even understand how happy I am to be here. Christmas is my favorite thing in the world.
I am obsessed, my fiance is scared of me. When it hits like, September, I'm like, let's decorate, so I love it. Thank you for having us.
Thank you for being here Christmas year round. here Christmas year round, my favorite time of the year too.
SanTa You know that I don't really like beer, and this is the only place that I drink.
It so, can we get to throw this?
This is so incredible. Yeah, it's special. thank you so.
Much thank you, cheers, cheers, cheers.
Cheers, let's go all right.
Oh, cheers, we already cheers, I'm doing it again.
I love that I'm getting you to drink beer. I know you don't like beer, I don't like beer.
But I like beer here in Santa's pub, it's just a part of the energy, part of the vibe.
Something that we were talking about is, I was like, Oh, like, Um, I'm 29.
Like, Wait, Kelsey, how old are you? And you're like, you're 30? And I loved how we both just looked at each other being like, we're feeling better than ever, and I feel like, right.
I just feel so good in my skin, I feel like I look back at myself in my twenties, like earlier twenties. Not that I didn't love myself, but like, I felt so just like insecure in certain moments and didn't like love parts of myself. And I feel like I'm loving getting older, I in my early twenties was like.
So interested to see how I would feel turning 30.
It was daunting to me. I was like, Am I going to have my life figured out? What's it going to look like? I think turning 30 is the hottest thing I've ever done.
Hot take I think getting older is hot, I like it, I'm liking myself better, I care way less about other other opinions.
As I get older, I'm like, just getting to know yourself and like the ability to to do that, and like having the tools to do that. Like, that's that's hot.
It's so hot and it's, and you're so right. It's like, I think we especially like growing up as like girls and then we become women. And it's like a lot of like, self doubt and overanalyzing, like how do I look? And like. Men become hotter with age and women don't.
And it's like, That's fucking bullshit. And I'm so happy that I can feel the same vibe from you, and I just hope every woman listening know that. Like, it's a fucking privilege to get older, and we are only getting fucking hotter because we know ourselves better. We were more comfortable in our skin. And so, ladies, when you fucking hit 30, it's just beginning.
So just celebrate, it's so good. Talk to me about your friends, like, how do you navigate having a career? and also giving time to friendship.
When your life is so busy. I think because I'm an only child and because I grew up just my friends were my sisterhood, that's all I knew. You know, I've always had those pillar relationships. And just like being a girl's girl and craving, like those conversations and those like wine nights and I. All of that. Like, it's just brought joy in my life since I was a kid.
I will say, like, I am the friend, that my closest friends know that I will disappear. And it might be a day, it might be two weeks. And when I come up for air, we don't miss a beat. And that that that takes a certain kind of friend. You know, everyone's different, but for me, especially those three that I just told you about, it's like we never miss a beat. Whether I'm gone on the road and going through whatever they, they just, yeah, they show up and they let me show up as I am.
Yeah, I think that's so important, too, like.
I feel like as you get older and there's less like reasons to get together with friends. Especially when you get in romantic relationships and you have partners like, it's a it's a commitment in itself to, like, intentionally, make time for the girls. And I think a lot of times if you're not in the best relationship, you can lose that connection with your girlfriends. Because if you really look at it, it's like we're so close to those people. In the moments that are, when they're hard, though, and you know, you're not being yourself.
You can kind of pull away cause you can't face them. You're like, I know I'm in this shit relationship, I can't even look at you, talk to me about that, cause you kind of went through that.
I did I think that I use my friends as escapism in my last relationship? Um, as much as like. The time that I spent with them was like a pure want. It was also like a need to get out of, like my space that I was in. And so when I got into this relationship with Chase, like, we talked a lot about, like blending friendships and like having time all together. And um, it's really beautiful.
I went on this 30th birthday trip with just my friends and I was like, I love that. I'm here with you guys. And I'm not trying to be distracted. I'm just here cause I'm happy to be here and like, I'm happy to, like, go tell him about it.
I'm happy, happy for you guys to show photos to him. It's just to be able to share the partnership and the friendships. Like, that's a very new thing in my world, and it's, it's like, it makes me like, love everyone, so much more.
Wait, that's so interesting and such a good observation of. Like, I'm thinking back to, maybe, like, relationships that weren't the healthiest in my past, and thinking about my dynamics with friends back in the day. You're so right, it's like that escapism, piece of like, I just want to go to the bar and not even really talk about the shit at home. Like, I don't want to talk about him.
I want to, just like, try to, just like, be alive as myself for a couple hours to then go back to that hell. And it's almost like you can get into this cycle of like, not even like realizing you're doing it, it just becomes routine and you're just surviving, but you're so right. Like, if you cannot intermingle with, like your partner and your friends, like that is a red flag, right? Keeping it like church and state like, is not the vibe for, like, your romantic and your friendships.
They should all be sure they not may all get along to the point where they're, like, obsessed, but it should be. You can all, like, be together, right? And now you're experiencing that and, like, I can tell, you're just so fucking happy.
I'm so happy for you. Okay, last time we spoke, Ma'am, you had just ended your marriage and you were going through it, we were crying. There was tissues.
How would you describe this current era now? Oh my gosh.
Oh, I just feel.
Calm I feel really calm, like I feel like I was very chaotic when I first was, like, meeting you and talking about everything. And I feel like that lasted for a while, just like the unraveling of the EP coming out and all of that that followed. But I'm just calm now.
Like, life's good.
I can tell like, I remember when I met you. And again, that is fair to say, like we were so heightened because it was such a serious conversation we were having. But I remember meeting you and you had like, there was like an anxiousness, obviously, about talking about the topic. But I could just tell it's like you had so much weight on your shoulders. Where do you think you would be in your life right now if you hadn't ended that marriage?
Um, I don't think about.
That it wasn't an option? Yeah, it wasn't an option. Love it.
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
Bitch, fucking cheers.
Okay, you are currently dating Chase Stokes? I am, and it is so crazy. He is so cute.
He is so cute and you guys, how crazy. Okay, so the episode we did ended, I'm.
Blushing Bro, I swear when you I have the TikTok sound saved because I'm going to make you do it with me later. Where you were like, you're so you're single, and I was like, Cause it was so new.
It was so new and like I had, I had been on dates like, I, you know, but like, I hadn't dated. Yeah, yeah, and like, yeah, it was so new. And I was so nervous and it was so fragile at the time.
Cause we were like, Okay, this is like, we're like, weeks into this, how are we feeling, you know?
It was, I remember, like, No, it was so crazy, you guys, to think back to that episode, and how long ago was that? Like, I started dating Jan Seven dude.
So it's almost been like a full year and I remember the photo came out of you guys like a little bit before we sat down. And so I remember writing that interview being like, Do I ask her about it? do I not ask her about it? Like, I know they're probably not official, but like, Do I ask her about Chase?
And I remember it was like, basically the last question that we talked about and you were so giddy and it was. But it was so nice to like again, talking about such heavy shit. And then all of a sudden you got so red and you were so happy, and I was so happy for you. Cause I could tell, like, Oh wow, maybe this is real, maybe this is not just like a. They happened to get photographed together.
My favorite thing was you saying you shot your shot and just DM this man, thank God. Can you give the daddy gang some advice of, like, why to shoot your shot?
Because why not, literally? why not, like, I don't know. You just can't put that much pressure on yourself or what may or may not happen. Like, I think you just have to be in a place where you're good with yourself and you're, like, just open.
Like, I was truly just so open. Um, and honestly, like when I DM him did I think that I would be like, Oh, this is like my guy, I don't really know like.
I was drunk with my friends at a bar. But like, as soon as we started talking, I was like, Oh, like, he's lovely. And then as soon as we, like, we met, I was like, Oh, yeah, no shit.
That's what I was wondering. I'm like, when you went into that, you had no expectations.
No, no, I think I was really just enjoying that new season of my life and like, open and having.
Fun with my friends and traveling. You were down if it was going to be a hookup, you were down for whatever, and then it ended up obviously being more than that. What is your favorite thing about?
Chase Oh, my god, okay, he got my windows tinted for me.
The specificity? I'm so serious though, because I went out of town. He's like, been here during the strike and I went out of town to go start working on the next record. And I got home and my jeep had the windows tinted. And he was just like, Yeah, like, you need to be safe, I want you to be safe. So he's really caring.
Yeah, like.
He's thoughtful, he's just thinking about you. 24 seven, He's just he's very, um, he's like the.
Emotionally intelligent man I've ever met in my life, I keep telling him he's a man written by a woman.
That is poetic and beautiful, cause he, like he was raised by his mom and he's very close with his sister. Like, he's just so in tune with his emotions and is not afraid to be vulnerable. And it's, um, yeah, I think I think we both obviously have come off of like public breakups. And uh, and we both didn't want to waste each other's time. And so, but we're both also like hopeless romantics, are both like Virgo.
So we're like, the plan in us is like, are we vibing or no? And we just like, Yeah, it's just kind of been like, Yeah, great. Is it like, crazy to you? how?
Obsessed people are with your relationship. I mean, it's new, it's why it's wild, it's new girl.
It is, it is, but it's sweet to feel supported. It is, yeah, it really is. Yeah, what is like?
Okay, what is a special memory that comes to mind when you think about your guys relationship?
Okay, so so I slid into DMS. December 1, 1, 30 a.m. Get in there, girl, period.
Drunk as fuck, period. And we started like texting and then facetiming and all that. Met him in person. January 7th we were supposed to have our first date, the 8th, but I was in L.A. and I was like, crazy that I'm here.
And we're not in the same room. And he was like, drop your pen. I was like, and so he came to this party. Um, that I was playing and I had just gotten done playing, and he was like, I'm in ballet and I was.
Guys, I've, I'm sweating just thinking about this. I was, I thought I was going to pass out like, cause I, you know, like you can have chemistry over the phone, but then when you're when you see each other, you're like, what's the height difference? are we like, Are you? I didn't know what to do the whole thing.
And so I walked out to his car and he got out of his Bronco. Hot hot, hot hot Bronco in a truck, hot jokes in a Bronco. And he did not say a word to me. And he grabbed my face, and he kissed me, and he pulled my face away. And he said, Thank God, you're real.
And I was like, Oh, every single person in this room right now is sobbing. And it was just like, So, it was just so redeeming, like for my experience of men in relationships, and how? like, Um, yeah, just like, how sweet, yeah.
You know?
Sorry, I have, like, chills. No, I know it's sappy, it's so sad, but it's not. It's what's what's so fun about.
It is like, we see all these photos of you guys and I appreciate you sharing that with us. Because it's like, we don't know what happens. Obviously, behind closed doors, and.
Everyone's like, Tell us the fucking tea. Kelsey. Well, now I've spilled it on here and we have matching tattoos so we can't break up. Wait, what we have like little virgos, Oh, you do.
Yeah, wait, oh, but you had it before, you didn't get them together, we got them like three weeks.
Ago, Wait, why? I didn't know this? It's like the littlest thing you'll ever see in your life, like.
Look, oh, it's so cute. Yeah, she's dainty. How did you guys decide to do that?
Um, I don't know. You just said, like, should we go get tattoos? Had you been talking about it? Tell me I'm sweating again.
No, it's actually cold in here, are you? Yes, no, I um, I, I used.
To really resent my Virgo ness because to me, it was like, very controlled freak, um, just needing power in a lot of situations in relationships, um, and he's a virgo too. And he and I have, like, really allowed ourselves to love that part of ourselves and each other. Just the need to communicate well and be loyal, and planning is not a bad thing when it's like, for the right things.
All those things like, it's just, it's like a thing that kind of bonds us. No, I think that's really cute. Oh my god, if you would have told me that I was going to just sit here and like, gush over my boyfriend.
We want it, we want it, it's it's we love, love. Okay, I know I do, too.
I'm like, I'm like, I feel like I'm like a middle school girl again, no?
I really do, but this is like, what makes it so beautiful is like enjoying it. Yeah, like, we don't know what's going to happen next year, the next year, like, let's live in it.
Let's have fun with.
It, that's why we share it too, cause you're like, you're so public about it. I'm like, yeah, cause it's so good.
Like, it's good and it's, and it's real, and like we are experiencing life as it happens to us and for us. And like, why would we not? I agree.
It's like, if you guys are happy.
And you guys know each other, like, who gives a just do it? Okay? Tell me what is a typical?
Date night like for you guys? Oh, um, well, it's different, cause we're always in random places, you know, we don't. One thing that we've worked on, cause we both need control and power. And a plan is to go out aimlessly and just kind of have an adventure fun. And that's really fun for us to not have a plan and just get in the car and kind of vibe.
Yeah, that's actually great advice for.
People because like the amount of conversations that I will have with Matt of like, no, you pick the place, no, just get in the car, just get in the car. Oh my god, okay.
Um Kelsey, I got to ask.
Yeah.
How's the sex?
Mom turn it off, mother turn it off. Well, we talked about sex last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God. I thought I was sweating before Jesus.
Um, because it was something that I always felt was very, uh, like, my experience with it was very performative. And like, you know, um, and it don't be like that anymore. It's not for the other person. No, you're enjoying.
Yourself, I'm having a nice time.
I'm having a really nice time over there. Is it I? Yeah, I was going to ask, like, do you notice the difference of the quality of sex when it's that you actually feel more emotionally connected to? Yeah, I mean, I didn't understand how it could.
Be a real like connector in a relationship. Oh, interesting, I never understood that. I always thought it was just something that you did, because that's who you do it with, you know? And no, no, no.
It's like, I now I realize, like it's a connector for people.
Kelsey's like, Okay, my Church of Christ, I was about to say, I will say, too, like I do believe, like I want, like. I'm such a sex positive person and I love having conversations like with my friends and with women about, like, embracing it and not making it taboo to talk about.
I like, as a woman in the South, like, it's a lot hard for me, but I do think it's really important and healthy to talk about.
It, I really appreciate that, and I appreciate you even just sharing what you've shared. Because what I do know is so many people probably listening to this are going to relate to what you just said of how many people? And I would just ask people listening to just think about this. Cause I do think it's a really important conversation of like, are you having sex with your partner out of? Just like? This is what I think we're supposed to do.
And are you enjoying yourself? And it's like you should be enjoying yourself, you should feel seen, you should feel like it is a two way street. This is not just for the man.
And historically, I think that's like, growing up. A lot of it is just taught to us of like, he just gets off. And you just like, you know, and that's what you do with your partner. Go to bed and cry your eyes out, and it's not supposed to be like that. And I think I appreciate you sharing the difference because it's important to show, like someone, that I think we've all. I've been in a relationship before, where I'm like, I'm not enjoying myself.
I don't feel seen, and I don't feel emotionally connected or safe. And the way the difference you will feel in that shift. When you find that partner that you're like, it gives you, it's like, so beautiful, it's so freeing. And all of a sudden.
You're like, Oh, I actually enjoy sex, yeah, and then you get to know yourself, and then you're.
Like, it's a whole new world, she's doing crazy things over there. Everyone's like envisioning you and Chase, you're both so hot.
Kelsey's like, Okay, next question, Um, I do want to talk to you? Kind of, almost like, brings me back. I was thinking about it as we were sitting here about, we were talking about in the car. Just like women supporting women, and just like, I think we've made progress.
I feel like I've seen a lot recently online, just about people being so hyper fixated and obsessed with, like, Oh my god. Chase Stokes has his ex-girlfriend on the show, Madeline Klein, from Outer Banks. And they still work together, and now they still have to go onto set together. And how does Kelsey feel about this, and is she threatened by Madeline? And it's like, again, pitting these two women against each other. And, like, Chase isn't even a part of the conversation, it's about, like, you and Madeline.
And I just wanted to ask you to just talk about.
Like, how do you feel about it? I mean, I met her and I talked to her and she's lovely.
And I think the internet did its best to make it really weird, and it just didn't work for them. I'm stoked to be on set and vibe with everyone I really like. At the end of the day, I'm a girl's girl.
Like, I just, I don't buy into the bullshit, and I don't buy into especially. Like the loud echo chamber of pop culture. Trying to make a thing out of nothing. I think they have a beautiful working relationship and I'm excited to hang with her.
Yeah, yeah, I'm like, I want to, Yeah, I'm vibing.
Love that answer, too, because I was thinking about it like, I don't. I think it's so interesting that people try so hard, I think you're right, it's like they want it so badly on drama.
Yeah.
They don't want consistency and happiness. The other thing is, if I was insecure about that, that says way more about my insecurity with myself and my relationship than it does. Anything so true. And like, I don't feel insecure with my relationship, and I don't feel insecure.
About myself, I appreciate you sharing that because I actually think it's also good. Like, there's so much in media of like, people don't feel in moments comfortable, and I'm so happy you're just like, guys, it's not weird.
It's not weird, you're making it weird, we're good.
You're making everyone's good. Yeah, we're good, everyone's good. Last couple questions.
We need some advice because our wise woman over here is just like, You just give wisdom. Okay, you're giving wisdom, you're giving. Like you're in the era of your life that we all want to be. You seem so happy and you're just succeeding and we love you.
Okay, so give the daddy gang some advice. Okay, Kelsey, yeah.
Recently, I've been encouraging the daddy gang to leave the toxic behind and stop settling. And I feel like you are right there with me. What is your PSA for? Why you should always leave a relationship that no longer serves you? If someone's listening right now, they're in that relationship, they're like, I can't do it.
Kelsey.
Give them that little, that pump up talk. I think there's two things. I think you're probably not doing it because fear is in the driver's seat, fear is super powerful. But also there's probably an element of you're putting the other person before you. And what I would offer to that is you are also disservicing the other person's happiness and future and wellbeing emotionally. To stay in it if you know that it's done.
So if it's nervousness of hurting the other person, you're hurting the other person by staying there.
You're so right, it's like if you're laying there at night, miserable and upset. If they knew that, they wouldn't want that either, they wouldn't want to be in that either. So let both of you free and go find something, because you both can actually go find happiness. I think that's something you so beautifully talked about. I think in our first episode was there's a difference between talking about your experience but also recognizing in moments. It takes two.
And so that person can be amazing for someone else. Absolutely like. It just sometimes isn't the right fit. Obviously, this is not talking about if someone was abusive or cheating or whatever. This is just like, sometimes it just ain't right.
And that's.
Okay, it's okay, my therapist says. There are seasons, reasons and lifers, and that's in every kind of relationship, and it is okay, and it is necessary to have relationships that are all three seasons, reasons and lifers.
And let it be what it's meant to be, it's okay.
Toxic relationships can really fuck up your mental health and wreck your confidence. How have you personally noticed a shift in how you feel about yourself now that you're in a relationship? And what can you give women who may be still kind of in that toxic cycle to look forward to? Like the light at the end of the tunnel of, like, what to expect when you actually do get?
Out well, I think there's a level of like pride that I have for myself for doing that. Because I am a peacemaker and my parents got divorced, I thought that was my biggest fear, you know what I mean, and I did it.
And did it turn into like a spectacle? Yeah, it did. Was that my intention? God, No, like, no.
Would I have done some things differently? Yeah, probably, but I did the hard thing and I did the best I could with the tools I had at that time. And I feel so proud of myself for going against everything that my childhood told me and everything that my adulthood, up to that point, told me. And I did it.
And like the level of, I didn't know that I had that in me, you know, to dismantle this thing that I had said would be there for longer. And I think knowing that I was capable of doing it with the amount of grace and love that I tried to do it with is something that I feel so proud of myself for. And I think that's a feeling that.
I wouldn't have had had I not done it. It's crazy when you say that, too. Because I look back at you and I'm like, as you're saying that, I'm just thinking about you. In this situation. And how many people probably are watching this? And I'm thinking about, like, Wow, you are literally like the perfect testament to someone. That people are so afraid to start over, people are so afraid to leave something that, even if it is not what they may be dreamt of for themselves, they're like, but how would I even start over? and how would this work?
And you're literally sitting here a year later, it's kind of giving me chills to be like, Dude, it's crazy that I met you. And it was one of like, kind of the lowest points you thought at your life of, like, what am I going to do? Like, it was a lot and we're sitting here and you've never been happier, and it's like, you're literally sitting here. And I hope everyone watching, at home or at work, or wherever the fuck you are.
It's like Kelsey is the perfect example of someone of like. You can always start over and you can always bet on yourself that you will make it through. And you will probably make it better once you get through the shit and life rewards you.
Like, I'm not saying that I was the best person at all, I'm just saying that, like when I did the right thing, that was the hard thing. Like, I like, I have a relationship that I'm like, they're just so yummy and I have a house that I wanted. Since 2020. And I made a record that is the most me record and Untouched by Nashville that I've ever made.
And it just got nominated for a Grammy, you know, like, and it happened because I did the really, really hard thing and I think that's the thing that I'm saying, like, I'm all of. That is just like a result of, like, trusting yourself and leaning into the unknown and believing that it's part of your journey and betting on yourself. You know, I don't know, I'm talking shit.
Mike fucking, there's nothing, there's literally nothing left to say, there is nothing. Kelsey, I love you so much. It is an honor to now be able to call you a friend and to sit here. A year later. Making you drink a corona and I know you fucking hate beer.
But to finish this episode, I think it's only appropriate that we sing a little karaoke. Okay, just a little Christmas tune. And I know it's November. Bitches. But like Daddy gang, let's have a little fun and let's sing some karaoke. And I'm going to sound like, shit next to Kelsey, but just go with God.
Okay, let's go. Are we about to actually sing? Yeah, should we sing together?
Yeah, yeah, okay, jingle bell, jingle all the way, jingle all the way.
Jingle, bell, jingle all the way.
I have to walk away, I literally have to walk away.
It's closing time, they're kicking us out. We gotta go Daddy gang, we love you, thank you.
So much I will see you fuckers next time, say goodbye, merry Christmas.
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