Singapore Sona

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Hi Dee, welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a fan.

Hi, that's me.

Hi Dee, how are you, Dee?

Really good, Conan, look at you.

Wow, look at me, you've got a little beard going on.

Look at you.

Yeah, I took a little break from shaving and I'm starting to look like the Groton fisherman. Oh, wait, that's a reference that no one's going to get.

Wow, I'm from Singapore, so that's what's happening, six in the morning here, I'm up and ready for you guys.

I've never been to Singapore, tell me-.

Well, you should, absolutely.

Tell me a little bit about yourself, What do you do? How's your life going? Lay it on me.

Okay, wow. Firstly, this feels like a fever dream, so I'm just gonna need to settle in a bit.

Cause wow, look at you guys.

You guys look beautiful.

All of you are beautiful. Oh, thank you. you're extraordinary. you're very stunning.

Yeah, you're the beautiful one.

Yeah, yeah, we feel terrible compared to you. Well, Sona, yeah, Sona's beautiful, Sona's beautiful, but-.

My hair a little bit.

Sona's a very attractive woman.

Just a couple hot girls, you and me.

And then there's me and Gourley, Don't take me down with you, a bunch of creeps.

Well, what is happening, let's see.

What do you do? What do you do?

I work at a hair salon, so I do a lot of hair stuff.

Okay, are you actually a hairstylist?

No, I'm not, though I wish I was, but I think there's a lot of ladders to climb for that. Eventually, maybe I will.

Well, wait, what do you do at the hair salon?

What do I do? I do like reception? Oh, okay, yeah, I manage things, make sure nothing's on fire.

Okay, for a second there, I thought you didn't have a job there, you just hung around, yeah.

Honestly, oftentimes I do, oftentimes I do. I'm just there, I'm just guys, if you need me, I'm here. But yeah, I get to, like, wash people's hair every now and then.

What? Okay, now we're talking because this fascinates me. You wash men and women's hair, right?

Yes, yes, mostly women, men. There's a couple of them who pop in every now and then, which is strange to me. Like, you know, when men don't go to like a barbershop and they come to like a hairdresser's, yeah.

DEE I have a theory that maybe some of these men would just like their hair washed by a beautiful woman. Is that possible?

Honestly, yes, because, like, I mean, we're all women working as well, we're all women. So it's like, I think they just come in to, like, have a look at us, which is fine, yeah.

They don't what?

They don't like, move, right? Like, what do you mean? You gotta like, tilt your head a little? Yeah, go on then.

Oh, I get that. I know when I've had my hair washed at a salon, I don't know what they want, so I try to anticipate it.

Oh, no, that's the worst thing you could do.

Well, it's not that bad.

Here's what I do.

In that same idea, Dee, What I do, you know when you have to register your face on an iPhone? You know, for facial recognition? I always, just when my hair is being washed, I think it helps.

I move it constantly.

Oh my God, that's eerie. So they can anticipate it, and then I go counterclockwise and sometimes I do it very rapidly.

Absolutely what everyone does, and it drives me insane. I'm like, you can't, I'm just going to end up waterboarding you, so you gotta sit up.

Yeah, yeah, just chill out. Okay, so you work at this hair salon?

That's a day in my life, I guess.

Okay, and tell us, how's your life going? Tell me about your life? Are things on the up and up?

Oh, Conan, you're hitting me with the deep questions here at six in the morning. Let's see, hmm, what is going on? What do I need help with?

I love every question. She turns back to you with a question.

You want to know how it's going for me? I'm in terrible trouble, I'm trapped in a room with people that don't respect me. You know, yeah, I, you know, aging out of a career, I mean, what am I going to tell you?

Oh, no, no one was saying it, so I felt like I had to because you were hoping someone would say it.

Life expectancy in my family, I think I have six months to go, but that's it's fine. I've had a good ride, so that's what's happening with me.

That's how I feel, though, like I feel the same way.

What are you talking about? You're a beautiful young woman. How old are you?

You're the opposite of him. How old are you?

Nah, I mean, I'm 27, but you know, you're 27..

Oh, yeah, you're done.

Yeah.

No, I mean, you have another, please, d.

You have at least two years to go.

I know I've been, I thought that two years ago, but here we are, so.

Do you have any bucket list items? Yeah, what do you want to do? You're young, you're very attractive.

Let's see, I don't know. Maybe do something like bungee jump, why not? that could be fun.

Well, I have a good. Why not just put that on there? Yeah, yeah. If the cord's too long, you hit the canyon floor.

Well, I think they would have sorted that out.

Yeah, they figure that out before you do it.

I think they in some places they use the first four people to sort it out. Yeah, true fact.

You think they just send you off and then they've crossed their fingers.

Yeah, yeah. And then they, Okay, that one's dead, let's cut six feet off the rope, you know? let's try it again. that one's dead, too.

Absolutely, there you go. Yeah, that's precisely how it looks. Yeah, it makes sense, but yeah, bungee jump.

You know what, Dee, I like you, because no matter what stupid thing I say, you're right there to say yes, of course, which is really nice.

I want the same wavelength. We're good.

Can I ask you? And if it's just too personal, you can say, back off, but how's your romantic life going?

Oh, back off, Conan.

You know, I feel like I'm asking in a fatherly, you know, uncle way.

Yeah, Uncle Conan, All right, so grab your tea. Nothing much is going on. There's things that goes on, you know, when you're 27,.

Nothing happened when I was 27.

Let's do more of that.

So, I mean, what's the dating scene like in Singapore?

There's not much of a scene I would say, well, there is, but not one that I don't know goes well with me. So I don't know. It's like there's things happening here and there.

Oh, so, you got something brewing?

Is there's a potential person out there of interest?

Possibly yes, you might jeopardize it.

I'm not going to jeopardize anything, I just want to know who this person is.

She can't talk about it because then he's going to hear it and he's going to be like, Wait a minute. This is moving too fast for me because I've been there.

Yes, I know.

Unless he really is into her and is like, like, is bolstered by this and then suddenly decides to make more reciprocation because he feels confident.

That's what ladies like is more reciprocation. What do you mean? I've seen that on a little candy heart. I would like to reciprocate with you.

Yeah, you don't want to like sabotage it, you know, in any way, and maybe it's nothing, maybe Conan let it go.

Just get involved.

Just tell us his name, yeah.

No, guys, I'm with you Dee. I'm going to try to calm it down over here.

No, I need to get involved, I need to meet this guy. Yeah, because Dee, we care about you, we have a bond with you.

That's his name.

Is it Johnny Singapore? I hate that guy, I know.

This is why she didn't want to say anything. All he does is hit it and quit it.

I hate that guy.

Reciprocate, yeah.

Oh God, if his name's Johnny Singapore, call it off now.

Do you understand?

Dee, tell us, Do your parents get involved in this stuff?

Oh, no, not at all. No, not at all. I'm very private, I like to say, except I just said this on the podcast, so yeah.

Yeah, but you didn't, I mean, first of all.

Yeah, like, no one's going to see this anyway, so it's fine.

You just crossed a line, Dee.

Obviously, no one's going to see it. And like three other people, I know.

I like Dee, I do like you too.

And I'm sure you have other fans.

Dee, you would work, you would fit right into my organization. Yes, yes.

We would be best friends. You're like Singapore, Sona.

You are, that's my favorite cocktail.

You are the Singapore, sona.

If we can just keep you away from Singapore, Johnny, we're okay.

Yeah.

Is there a Singapore version of me? Are there guys like me in Singapore?

I wish Conan, I wish. I've always thought that, like, if there was a Conan out there for me, I'll be done, I'll be settled.

That's very flattering. Well, I want to tell all the ladies out there, no matter where you live in the world, there's a conan out there for you. Ooh, what a curse.

It has to be, though.

So, get a double bolt for your door.

Tell your children about the dangers of a conan in your neighborhood.

Is there a conan in your neighborhood? Stay low. Yeah, the whole campaign, if you see something, say something, started with if there's a conan on your subway.

Teach your children how to spot a conan.

Is he 6'4"?

Red beady eyes.

Like the Communist.

Tree blowing in the wind or conan? Be sure you know the difference.

Wow, man, you're a lot of fun Dee. I hope this guy. Listen. Here's my advice to you You have to make sure that you have high standards because you're a special person.

Well, then why are they working for you?

I say, professionally, you have to settle.

You have to settle.

Yeah, I'm talking only about romantically, romantically. Don't settle, but if you get a chance to work for sort of a shitty podcast operation, grab it.

Yeah, I think I can see myself growing in this industry. We'll see, though, because I don't know I like to. I tend to do different things after a while, so I've been doing this for like, two years now.

Who knows no at your age...?

I think I'm not too worried about that, yeah.

At your age, I liked to.

Exactly, yeah, about figuring it out. No stress, right? I'm only 27, right? stress. no pressure.

Yeah, no, I think you're feeling some stress.

It's not like I'm getting old or anything.

No, you're not, you're not.

You're not.

Get over that right now. You don't know that you're talking like someone who's in their....

The next time you see me, I'll be like 52.

I'll be long dead. Yeah, don't worry about that.

No, you won't, what?

Yeah, you might.

Yeah, someone said, you're a fan of my style, my clothing style. is that true?

Yeah, you had a question about his fashion sense, right?

Yeah, you had a question for me, right?

Yeah, no, basically, I was just thinking, what happened to your leather jacket, the one that you used to wear all the time? Like that? Was you at your peak? I would think.

Oh, where is he?

Should we bring him out?

Well, it's a she first of all. Okay, her name is Enid and No. I did have one leather jacket that I wore in so many different remotes and then....

That's the one.

I think after Kevin Hart and Ice Cube just were mocking me so much for my clothing style, yeah, that I....

Oh, Conan.

Did that hurt your feelings? No, I found it very erotic. And it's another money, it's another revenue source. So....

It's kind of a compliment.

I think it is, I think it is, absolutely it is. I still wear. I have a weakness for leather coats, especially old ones.

Just bring her out every now and then. I'm sure the fans would love to see why not. Yeah, you've got such a....

Doesn't Dee have?

Yeah, she's got a style, she's got it.

You have.

This is dangerous.

Like, it is very dangerous, I don't care what it is if, Dee said, Come on, Conan, just get on the motorcycle and drive over the flaming barrel.

Dee, Now's your chance, ask him, get him to do something, you know?

Exactly could you just do a backflip now? I don't know.

Why not, you know? I think, if you say I can do it, Dee, I can do it, so do it.

No, don't do it, actually do it.

These bones are a bit fragile, that's just...

I'll take care of you, you're fine.

What if I get three really strong men to just rotate my body slowly and then set me down and then immediately take me for a nap?

We're going to have to look outside the building for that.

Yeah, I'll find it, Dee, it's really nice talking to you, you've got. yeah, you're very cool.

And you guys are, too.

No, you really are, you're really self-possessed, and you are beautiful and very young, and everything's looking your way. But don't forget what I said.

Whoever it is, you need to be your wingman. Got it?

I'll be your wingman.

You should come out to Singapore sometime, take a walk.

What would you take, Conan, to do?

Yeah, what would we do if I came and visited you in Singapore?

I don't know. We're going to take lots of walks, we're going to walk a lot. I mean, I wish I could tell you those beautiful things to see, but really, it's just skyscrapers.

Yeah.

I don't know, maybe you shouldn't come then because it's really hot.

Dee, you spoke for like 30 seconds and went from, You've got to come to, you really shouldn't come.

Maybe not the tourism board for you?

If there's a really expensive restaurant you've always wanted to go to, you can have him take you there.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, just like. Or, you know, if there's like a nice shop you've always wanted to shop in, you could take him there, yeah.

And I'd be like, Oh, I really like this jacket. whoops, I wish someone got it for me. Yes, yes.

And I'd be next to you going, Yeah, I wish someone would. Well, anyway, let's go, let's go find an international house of pancakes.

Yeah, yeah, it's Singapore.

It's international.

It's international, come on.

So not.

Legally, the U.N. says, they have to exist in every country.

Yeah, bring back your travel stuff, mate. Like, you need to do that again, like, I mean, I'm telling you what to do, what am I? who am I?

No, no, you're, listen, Dee, you are very persuasive and very cool, and everything you say, I really do feel like, Yep, Dee's right. I got to get that leather jacket, I got to get back on the road. It's time to go, go, go.

Yeah, it's 2023, baby, let's go, oh, wow.

All right.

Turned into Austin powers there for a second.

Much more attractive than Austin powers. Hey Dee, thank you so much. it was really cool talking to you. thank you.

You guys are amazing.

Have a great day. Tell those creeps that are hanging around the salon that we know what they're up to, that I'm onto them. That's another thing I could do, I could come there and I could hang out the salon. And any time a guy comes in, I will toss that guy right on his ass.

Yeah, any time a Johnny Singapore comes up, they have to get through you.

They have to get past.

Or you could give them the shampoo and then they'll be like, we're never coming back here.

They come to you and say, Oh, Dee, I'd love it if you shampooed my hair and you'd say, Oh, I'm not available today, and you step aside and I'm there.

And I'm like, Hello, fellows.

Line up and I'll give you a nice shampoo.

But it's going to be the Isle of Lucy paradox where they go, okay?

Yeah, that's true. We got to avoid that. Hey Dee, thank you so much. have an amazing day.

Thank you again, you guys are great bye.

Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien. Sonam Ovsessian and Matt Gourley produced by Me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson at Earwolf Music.